Brandon Nankivell

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About Brandon Nankivell

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  1. Second this. Connects offer exclusive career opportunities, social life upgrades, around-the-world 'home bases', comradery, accountability, intro to even more great connections. This list goes on.
  4. These feelings are temporary. All part of growth :).
  5. Watch your thoughts. At some point they will settle down and you will experience peace.
  6. Welcome. What brings you here?
  7. David Hawkins offers a starting point with his map of consciousness. The Ten Ox-Herding Images may also appeal to you. Leo's video. The transcribed and translated lectures by Yamada Mumon are great for going deeper. Spiral Dynamics is a staple in the community. Models aside, the one I heed most attention to is the simple question: How much peace do you feel on a daily basis? Gotta let go of measuring all-together at some point Hope this helps.
  8. I battled with this for a long-time but eventually understood. Awareness requires no effort. The effort you feel is you (your sense of self, ego-mind) trying to be somewhere other than where you are. That trying is a thought. You've stated, "I'm back to unconsciousness and automatic thinking" and this is may be what you feel will happen if you don't try to be aware. But this is trying, the very thing keeping you unaware! So what to do? Here's some pointers based on my experience: Investigate, inquire into, understand the thoughts that arise. From where do they arise? What is their motive? Are these thoughts useful? Once you 'see it', you may have an 'Aha!' moment, or laugh - It will be hilariously clear By 'it' I mean the movements of the mind that stem from the Ego You'll realize that all these thoughts you've had about effort and trying are just the Ego doing it's thing to distract you from realizing you are Awareness Ingrained thought patterns of the mind are often deep and habitual due to conditioning, so be at peace and chill if Awareness isn't effortless straight-away, but nor you need to believe it has to take a squillion years to realize, drop all expectations of how long realizing should take There are so many methods of meditation that it may feel confusing - mindfulness sounds like the one you are using, which can work and take effort, however I prefer going back to understanding (my first point), because once you understand the inner workings of the mind, it's more frequently seen for the nonsense that it creates, and so you become effortlessly aware. Another more recent method I've been using when I fall out of effortless Awareness, is literally just going about life, not worrying about reminding myself, giving myself full permission to fall into old thought patterns, but just accepting any life situation that comes up when my energy is resistant (from the minor things to the big things). Accepting that an ant is on my foot rather than instantly killing it. Seeing frustration come up in a conversation with a family member, then instantly accepting it because I realize it's the ego-mind up to mischief keeping me unaware. So it's a bit of effort but because I don't have to think or do anything until a situation arises, it makes for a breezy kind-of-meditation. That's all the ancient Saints mean when they say just love... give... be kind... I found immense help in Osho's book: Learning to Silence the Mind.
  9. For those with further interest, this was very illuminating:
  10. No that important for jhanas/awakening, just meditate in a comfortable position for you. Health-wise however, someone who is more experienced in body mechanics I'm sure will have something wiser to say than I.
  11. Leo: First insight into no-self First insane dial-1000 awakening experience that lasted 4 weeks Osho: Incredibly inspiring, direct-as-hell, relatable, and nuanced J. Krishnamurti Very helpful to refer to any topic after an initial glimpse, and see how every problem in life leads back to the 'what is' A man I met in the marketplace from the Neem Baba Karoli lineage: Multiple Kensho experiences in his presence Pure character Incredible to be able to converse with an awakened one in-person and get direct and precise feedback on blind-spots
  12. If we are going by the Google definition: the mental action or process of acquiring knowledge and understanding through thought, experience, and the senses. Get clear on your #1 goal / purpose Have your daily actions align with that Prioritize what's important and what's not by asking whether an action / book / knowledge / idea will bring you closer to your goal / live out your purpose more Some tools: 80/20 rule, Naval Ravikant on making decisions in The Almanack of Naval Ravikant, Thinking Fast & Slow by Daniel Kahneman, The Cognitive Biases, follow your natural curiosity More importantly, ask why you want to improve cognition and consider going beyond cognition as the primary way of learning and understanding. Jiddu Krishnamurti's books and Transformation of Man series could be a great place to start with this if you are new Or Osho's books: Learning to Silence the Mind, The Voice of Silence
  13. If you're open, consider taking a another look at this. if you're bothered by murder or rape, you're a murderer or a rapist Try instead: if you're bothered by murder or rape, have a look at the "I am bothered". Who is bothered? From where does the thought/feeling of being bothered arise? What happens if you sit with it and watch it for 10 minutes?