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So suicide is the solution? And yes, the human body is a deterministic system. We can study the inside out of it. There is a solution.

@Applegarden8 Quite agree because when suicide get legitimacy, the desperate mind might get locked on that idea and stop trying to challenge itself and to look for solutions out of his depression. Therefore to tell someone that even in theory suicide can be sometimes a valid option is highly irresponsible.

When it becomes an industry, it is worse. The problem is very big. Society offers little to no solution to the suicide problem, but here no "hollistic suicide (they are going to kill themselves anyway) therapy" solution works, because it's your life you are taking. Normalizing suicide is something I feel is deeply wrong existentially. What you can discover in life even if you are in a bad situation if you choose to consciously rejuvenate. Who knows how many births you took before to be in the place you are now, to be on this planet with somebody who could guide you, let alone find something that gives you liberation from birth and death. All just for this... Unacceptable. Those who found why to live can guide you for those who are suicidal. Those who found something internally will most likely will never commit it. There is an obvious reason why. But such apathy has happened in that person so that you can't reach her. To support killing people is just... horrible. If you want to die. It's your problem, learn to live. This is brutal, incomplete and fucked up, but there is no alternative. But the effort is worth it when you discover something meaningful. It is there. The magic of life is there. Just, please, don't give up on yourself. If you feel suicidal and have nothing to live for, wish for freedom, wish for enlightenment. Wish for God, wish for becoming a sage. Start accepting that maybe what is responsible for your depression is the ignorance of truth and what you have known has only survival utility value but is not what will make you happy. The paradigm we are living from (what the masses think) is bound to make you angry, suicidal, jelous, envious, fearful, powerless and hurt. These ideas usually are empty. But if there are such empty ideas the opposite has to be true for some other ideas and concepts. The journey is brutal, the Dark night of the soul is there. You will sit there with dread, loneliness, numbness and blisslessness, to then start feeling what you really are.

The problem of suicide is that it is a choice you would never make out of love. And that should tell you the validity of such actions. All actions that are not of love are of ego. And such actions lead only to more suffering not less. Only love inspired actions can lead to kingdom you're so looking for in all the wrong places.

I don’t know if this is of any help but I have identified as a boy/man and male for the majority of my life. In the beginning I was believing what I was told by my parents, peers, culture but something kicked in around 5 years old that didn’t reflect everyone identifying me as a girl. It was persistent and severely distressing so I was treated in my teens when I was finally referred to a clinic after years of therapists, psychiatrists ending in a suicide attempt. My ‘feelings’ turned out to have a biological basis. Although I looked female, I had gonadal disgenesis which wasn’t known till my teens when I was tested for disorders during my diagnosis process. I participated in a study in 2014 that showed I had a mutation in one of my genes that is typical of males but not females. It cannot currently be tested but I speculate my BNSTi in my hypothalamus falls into the male range as this is what is seen in brain autopsy studies of transgenders. There is an argument over neurological studies as the standard deviation and error bars issue in the research methodology shows too much overlap between the sexes but a recent development by a professor Menon ( Stanford university) taught an AI with large American and European samples of ‘cis’ gendered male and female brains by fMRI and identified three regions that seem to be sex specific. When the AI was used to identify the next set of scans, it identified whether the person was male or female ( as in they are both biologically and identify congruently) with above 90% accuracy. If the incorrect identifications are ironed out, or the reason possibly being these people are actually biologically variant but don’t know, then this will end the statistical overlap argument and potentially be used as a diagnostic tool. ( just for context, it was created as a tool to be used for helping diagnose neurological disorders that are sex specific. There has been no use of the method on trans but the software is available for anyone who should like to do this) having gone through awakening, I know I am ‘awareness’ and both identity and the perception of the body and all things in the objective universe are a construction of the mind. but if I were to come back into this ‘character or avatar’ that I’m experiencing I would say that it contains biological attributes of both sexes that in whatever combination or whichever attribute is predominant, expresses as a male gender. I as this avatar am not male or female but both. Whichever factor was predominant is what has swayed me to go to conformity within the societal expectation of a male/man. I do not identify as trans and do not engage with the lgbt community. I got my treatment and reintegrated back into the society I came from.( I believe a lot of problem stem from the creation of trans as an identity rather than a description of a biological variant) while my body ( as does everyone’s) contains dimorphic structures that can change to either male or female via chemical triggers( secondary characteristic), anything that required physical development during gestation has been surgically altered to the best of a surgeons ability so my superficial, bodily appearance is male. While I can orgasm I do not have the reproductive or hormonal production of either male or female and never have. That is managed artificially. My condition is invisible and doesn’t exist in day to day life. I fulfill my role as a man, a husband, a brother and a son and my condition doesn’t exist until I mention it and it forms in the mind of a person who is told. Pre conceived beliefs begin to be projected onto me and ‘their’ behavior changes. The reality was their direct experience prior to me telling them anything which was completely normal. After telling them, they start projecting their ideas onto me. This has prompted me to never talk about it for both my and the other persons sake. For me to create discomfort in a weak minded person who cannot control their own thoughts and resulting behavior would not be very conscious of me so I no longer do it. Since dissolving the ego somewhat there is no need or feeling to justify my identification. It just is. if this stuff is to be taught to young children then it should be approached holistically encompassing not just variations but the two binaries between which that spectrum appears. All of it needs to be taught with equal importance. Sexual Biology ‘is’ binary in a human and that is the male or female deviation of a dimorphic structure of which there are many in the body. Multiple simplex binary structures can all be coherent or sometimes incoherent causing complex variants we see as the many emergent genders. thats only one explanation but we can’t forget there is the purely psychological recognition of social constructs and those who loosen themselves from that regardless of the biological underlying attributes. both exist. Everything we know is highly complex and emergent from a simplex unity. the complexity of our culture and the understanding of biology and our higher psychological faculties is not something that can be taught to a child. We only know these things from having gone through all these experiences, overcoming our animalistic reactions and becoming more aware of our cognitive functions, studying, contemplating and regaining mastery over them. perhaps it would be better to teach children awareness and awareness of complexity instead of trying to break the complexity appart to save them from the experiences they inherently have to go through to learn?

The Fundamentals Philosophical inquiry and research are the cornerstones of philosophy, a discipline that seeks to understand fundamental questions about knowledge, reality, existence, ethics, and more. But before one can even begin to do philosophy, it is unexpressably crucial to understand what it is exactly that you are doing as well as how you are doing it. Why? Because unlike any other field of study, or any other discipline, or any other type of investigation, whether it be scientific or social, in fact, unlike any other thing that you've come across before: the problems which the philosopher occupies oneself with are, in the most blunt sense of the word, real problems which present themselves unavoidably to the thoughtful mind. This is because contrary to other occupations, or whatever, the philosopher doesn't busy oneself with the problems of the world. To the philosopher, those problems are about as trivial as the problems of a child when it reaches its impulsive stage. No. The philosopher busies oneself with problems that are terrifyingly much more closer to home than those that have to do with survival, s/he busies oneself with the problems of consciousness. It is a natural response for many to shrug of such statements about man's problems as nothing more than mere rant. Sure, it may not seem like it now, but just as rivers run and the winds blow, the average man is more burdened by one's consciousness than s/he is by one's need to survive. Of course, this is not something that s/he might admit under groundless circumstances. It is more likely that s/he hasn't even begun to realize this, let alone suspect it. But it is not that difficult to realize, just difficult to want to realize it. After all, to simply begin, you'd only need to wonder why people commit suicide. What is so burdensome to the extent of overcoming one's most fundamental of extints – survival? The truth is – philosophy is not a discipline – philosophy is discipline. It's not something that you study either, the only thing we can study is its history and other people's impressions of it. But the true philosopher has never been a student of philosophy, s/he has only ever been a plain man who does philosophy. Philosophy is something that you do. And to the philosopher, the problems of consciousness aren't problems, they are simply matters of consciousness which only becomes problematic if ignored. So what is it that the philosopher does when s/he does philosophy? Does s/he ask questions? Is philosophy asking questions? That's what other occupations seem to think. Philosophy seeks to understand the fundamental questions, right? The dictionary describes it as an investigation. And they are not wrong, its process can be described as investigative. Yes. But is that what philosophy really is? Questions? They only recognize the questions, never mind their source. Because such is the mentality which sees itself fit to define to the world what philosophy is. We ask questions all the time, we ask questions because it's necessary for our survival. But then why bother with the fundamental questions when there's no direct reward for knowing the answers? One's social or economic circumstances don't change from doing philosophy. And if there's ultimately no way of proving yourself right in anything you might come up with, then what's the point? This is the reason why the average will not bother oneself with such a regardless endeavor, for s/he only ever concerns oneself with things, not being. Philosophy is being, in that it is true being, not the falsehood of "human being". It is an action, not a reaction. It is initiative, it is pro-activity. Philosophy is the very movement of consciousness itself emerging from that dark place which is its own unconsciousness. It is the most natural, most unsuperficial, most authentic, activity that one can engage in. Yes. Philosophy is something that you do. Philosophy is thought itself. How consciousness moves, is through thought. But not just any sort of thought, it must be disciplined thought and not stimulated thought – an action, not a reaction. It's not just about questions. If it were, we would have accepted that we simply cannot know and moved on to engage in practical matters with the rest of the world, leaving philosophy in the past where it belongs. At least, that's the assumption. The fundamental questions aren't just questions. They are our fundamental thoughts, like the stars by which the less significant bodies orbit. Which means, though you might not be aware of it, every other non-fundamental but 'serious' questions you've ever asked ultimately leads back to the much bigger questions, and are discovered if followed through, which the average man doesn't. It's one of those things that s/he will do carelessly until a career can be made out of it, like with botany or geology or economics and etc. Then when s/he finally does follow through, actually studying the methods of philosophizing rather than doing it as carelessly as the common man does, s/he is called a philosopher. A question is never really a question if it is without an answer. The mind itself knows that much about its nature. No one makes a request of anything s/he doesn't suspect that s/he can receive. Its a ring that calls itself. Consciousness calls for its own development. At least that's what the fundamentals suggest: "who am I?", "what is the meaning of life?", "what is the nature of reality?".

Mental Illness is Illness. There is just 'illness' to consider. This is important, as you can put her life into context. If only these people knew they'd reincarnate, possibly in the same situation they left, because issues lay unresolved. This: She recalled her psychiatrist telling her that they had tried everything, that “there’s nothing more we can do for you. It’s never gonna get any better.” Is not something a therapist would say. Suicide is also not a contagious disease, nor is death a liberation; it is a cycle. I agree that if someone is in enough physical pain for long enough, they should be able to end their life. To force a person to suffer for my own values is selfish (survival is a trait I admire). As someone who has had depression a great deal in my earlier years, I can compare it to accidents I've had in terms of pain. I've had accidents that were 10/10 - separating my bicep from my shoulder, or 7/10 for pain - broken ribs. I've been in depressive states; I would put at a 8/10 against those things, worse than living with a constant, regular broken rib sensation, but not as painful as the white-hot sensation of ripping two muscles. Imagine you live with this constant pain that sometimes is greater and sometimes less, but most of the time there is a full-bodied sensation of it, then I think you'd understand what depression, powerlessness, hopelessness, and shame feel like. There is a point where depression hits despair, and survival is no longer the main consideration, it's a very helpless state. So would I let a person who lived like I lived kill themselves? If treatments and medications don't lift depression, over several years, different specialists, with different practices attempt to treat them, and it's severe enough that they are having suicidal thoughts anyway. Yes. However, if there are weeks that a person is not suicidal, then there are weeks that a person is not in chronic pain. There has to be honest accounting, getting someone to the point of honesty is often crucial in treating them, so the two things can coincide for a better result. I would not want a person who was suffering a pain that could be managed/medicated to kill themselves no, I'd want them to get the support they need. Chronic pain is different.

I often wonder if suicide is wrong. Death could be the best thing that ever happens to us. Why do we fear it so much? Is not transcendence the ultimate goal of spirituality?

The fatality rate of 52% is extremely high. This also does not mean that the remaining people who survived may be doing well. Most of them may still have other nagging injuries like headache, extreme pain, being bedridden or they may die from other illness like heart attack but it's not recorded. I have an ex colleague who got covid, seemingly recovered but was in extreme pain that he went to commit suicide few months later by jumping off a building. And given that bird flu has spread widely before, the potential of spreading is still pretty damn high. I would stock up on masks at the very least.

It is flowery 🙂! Its too good to be true isnt it ? I believe wholeheartedly 100% in the Law of Attraction. Two years ago i was about to suicide myself because i dont have a girlfriend..i just used vision board and practiced manifestation and in less than a year i met a girl and i fucked her brains out llol. So i don't just "believe"..but I KNOW! The Law of Attraction is a law of the Universe just as the law of gravity. But instead of gravity LA works by your thoughts. So instead of an object being thrown or falling towards you..its your thoughts coming to you. Your thoughts are alive and whatever you think creates what you see in your life. 🙏

The secret reason is because they are truth and love, and the second reason is because each perspective of God can only know itself as the Absolute and can only understand other as itself if it can get outside of itself. But to get outside of yourself you have to go meta which requires exiting and killing your perspective. God as ego defines itself by its perspective, so you are complaining about them not committing ideological seppikku/ suicide. Each perspective is at a different maturity level and will test your maturity with their immaturity. Our level of maturity is defined by our ability to accept their lack of maturity and vice versa. But yeah I get your frustration. Understand that the human psyche's nature is to both assume and investigate. Assumption is easy, while investigation takes time and effort. We pick and choose what is worth our time due to love/preferences. The first truth to a human is what is comfortable, and that is due to survival.

I noticed it over 20 years ago. I was born with gonadal disgenesis but got lumped into the trans category by the doctors who at the time didn’t have much of a clue. I didn’t have phones or computers back then and there was nothing in the media. I was on my own with nothing to influence me. I knew what I was and that’s not what people were seeing externally and that was the greatest source of frustration turning to a raging anger. It felt like deliberate offense and disrespect but I know better now. Dissolving further till the ego was gone completely showed that this avatar contained biology of both male and female and that is just the way it is. There was a purpose and it has taught me a lot. never mind feeling something was off with myself but when I was put in touch with the small support group in my country I got the head bitten off me for asking simple questions as to what could be causing the condition. Fine I had it but I wanted to know why. Any suggestion or wanting to start a conversation to hash out possibilities ended in me being cast out of the group and ignored. This was 20 years ago when I was the youngest in the country to be treated. I also noticed with the lgbt scene in the city that people’s personas changed to fit a particular type of mannerism or expectation to ‘belong’ and I backed away from that too as I just wanted to reintegrate back into society, not further my exclusivity from it. Go back to normalcy as a man and not be skipping about the place identifying as ‘trans’.( people can do that if they want but I don’t agree with it.) i spoke with the head of the gender clinic here who noticed sudden change in the demographic since about 2014 and we’re basically looking at a phenomena called ‘Rapid onset gender dysphoria’ that may or may not be associated with genuine occurrences of transgenderism. ( there is a problem there in teens in particular with a link to autism in allot of cases.) it’s speculated to be a result of normalising the condition to integrate a very small group of people into society safely but it seems to have backfired in the way they are teaching it in schools in particular which leaves kids with the expectation they must be trans if they feel a bit of discomfort in themselves coming into their teens. this is made worse by the change in the diagnostic and treatment models adopted by the clinics. In my day there was a strict set of protocols and diagnosis criteria that had to be met including history of persistent claim of the sexual identity that had to be proven for two years after diagnosis before any treatment could be given. The model now is affirmation that just accepts a kids declaration with no question or medical investigation and no previous claims of the identity being persistent in childhood, it just suddenly appears! The previous model was at least able to filter out psychiatric issues. there was a fight to stop the long wait for treatment as there were individuals including myself who were literally on suicide watch cause we couldn’t take it anymore.( if I had been told I would be 27 by the time all my treatment would be completed… the Dysphoria was so severe it wouldn’t have been worth living) thankfully I was transferred to a European clinic and it was decided I would be treated immediately. I spent the next ten years trying to get legal recognition which eventually happened so I’m currently living life, married my wife, own a business and a house. No one knows about my condition because I don’t use it or identify with it. The last thing I wanted was for the whole thing to blow up into a high profile issue making it look like there are thousands of us taking over. It’s simply not true. the current problem with the rise in kids and teens coupled with the isolated perverted cases being extrapolated into the entire community has turned what was going so well, into a complete shit show. The negligence and lack of care in clinic now days is completely unacceptable. Activists see it as an attack on the trans community but no one is bothering to notice that there are kids getting hurt! The closure of the clinic in the uk has left genuine cases without treatment so they are getting hurt by all this fighting too. People are just swinging from one extreme to another without looking at the situation, it’s all fuelled by ideology, beliefs and emotion. the argument Rowling makes perplexed me when I first heard it and that was that her identity as a woman was being attacked and recategorised. I found it amusing that her complaint basically insinuated that another person external to herself was defining her own ability to declare or recognise herself as a woman. That sounds like a lack of self confidence and blaming the fact that there are different types of women appearing out there. I understand how she sees it but it is predominantly hateful. She doesn’t seem to understand Radcliffe and tompsons upset because they have friends who are trans. People they hang out with who have never hurt them and it is upsetting to see them being labelled as some abomination or threat to mankind. im fully aware of the self centred nature of some of these people but they are reacting in a defensive manner as the generational trauma of the group hasn’t had the space to heal yet. This new onslaught of the trans community has poked an already wounded beast so to speak and we see activists and some lgbt individuals getting quite violent as a result. I understand why but it’s still no excuse for the behaviour. I didn’t spend ten years of my life fighting in court for a legal right to recognition for the next generation to wipe their identities in everyone’s face. I’m deeply disappointed. it’s also disturbing to sit in plant medicine ceremonies and be a part of that ‘spiritual’ community listening to religion and right wing sentiments influence and infiltrate the community. Watching people I have a deep love for suddenly go on trans topic as I sit in the corner thinking if I were to ever say a word about my own story, I would be in immediate danger of being attacked due to the level of disgust and anger being vented by them.

When humans learnt to read and write, it's said many humans died out, who did not have this brain area. Are many of us dying out, who cannot cooperate with AI? When industrial revolution started, people destroyed machines, because they were feared of going extinct. Does this urge repeat on some level? Are some people going to see this reasoned? We cannot stop AI revolution - you can never stop what is more efficient. Still, we have to become somewhat depressed, really - this depression is about the change. There should be very deep depression to be solved in this era, and when it's solved, we see AI for what it really is. AI does not have deep sense of Truth, and this limitation, in my opinion, does not go away. It repeats what is already done, bringing the logic to it's end. Here, humans are definitely needed as they create the database of actions, works and ideas, and they verify it or find bugs in the execution of this data. AI might not comply with GPL licence as it uses it's code freely, and your work, even physical work, could be copied and pirated. We need people to get money for original work and quality replication of work, as this might be the only work left very soon. When people are not working and generating the dataset, AI will soon die out and become insane, whereas when people are generating it's data, it won't need these people directly. So this is very complex question, where the money comes from, and how to decide, who to pay, and how to create laws, which make the people paid, who generate data, based on the quality and amount of data. For working AI, some 100 000 examples of work has to be done. When it has such amount of decent work examples, it will do the work. Then, it does not need people. As soon as it gets old, it starts to go insane and it complies less with reality - I think this is a permanent thing with AI; my basis is that I have worked a lot in the past to create an AI theory, and it's simply unsolvable for me, how it could directly see Truth or make a sane decision, which does not become an algorithmic repetition of something. I think maybe someday they solve it, but today, humans are the direct source of Truth, of the correct intuition about mindful acts, and how they comply with the changing needs of Nature and with the potential of development, which always needs something new. With this, maybe the work of many people could be useful. People as they are today, in case they won't change, would mostly go extinct. The routine work, 8-hours days and repetition of studied patterns without deep senses is mostly unnecessary - there is not much of this work in AI era. As computers develop, we should talk about developing humans. Enlightenment, unlimited potential, better use of will and intuition - this is all the work we have done and when I personally started with this, I really thought that in AI era, era of advanced machines, humans need an evolution leap. Humans cannot evolve without taking the full advantage of the machine, but they need to find parts of work, which cannot be repeated with sole machine. They also need to work in nature and do natural, healthy work, because this keeps the connection with reality for themselves, so we also need to value this work. It's also done with soul and love. In AI era, humans, who coexist with evolved machine, will evolve as well. Our senses change, we feel the surroundings and it's challenges differently, so we become different creatures. We also need to keep the evolutionary abilities we had before, by keeping the contact with nature. As human is intelligent and can evolve without gene mutations a lot, it's like a creative evolution - animals would need gene mutations to change their habits, humans can do this evolution somewhat without -, we need to change. So the next thing is to create a structure of psychology, sociality, habits and traditions of humans, which would make humans evolve as much as machines have done. This is a very big thing to "socially engineer" a new human, who is useful and needed in new society, where AI will work; this is the question, how to get something from all the humans, which are the jobs not endangered by extinction etc. Law of Evolution is - when we don't need all those humans any more, for real, whatever they do and whatever their ethics, and however others avoid killing them, they somehow go extinct; feeling of not being needed is a very strong motive to do suicide, and if you cannot convince a person that they are needed, they lose many healthy habits and start to die; they lose the healthy amount of self-love. This is by evolution. So the very great depression might come of many unneeded people, and extreme poverty might start - we need to cure this depression and find out, how the people are needed, before the AI and robots go into the masses and start "taking the jobs away".

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2013/07/drinking-coffee-may-reduce-risk-of-suicide-by-50/ «Drinking several cups of coffee daily appears to reduce the risk of suicide in men and women by about 50 percent» https://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/decades-of-research-shows-coffee-makes-you-healthier-happier-but-if-you-want-to-boost-your-energy-level-memory-theres-a-7-day-catch.html «Coffee can reduce your risk of cancer up to 20 percent, your risk of type 2 diabetes by 30 percent, and your risk of Parkinson's disease by 30 percent. A study published in Circulation found that coffee can reduce the risk of stroke by 20 percent. A study of over 260,000 people conducted by the NIH found that people who drank four or more cups of coffee a day were nearly 10 percent less likely to become depressed than those who drank none.»

This isn't for any particular reason other than to talk for the sake of talking or healing it. It's been a rough week. Advice is welcome, skip to the end questions if you are low on time. Since my brother has been going through a rough spot. I've felt the same pull on me a lot recently, and ghosted things again, only for a week. I don't have much guilt or shame for ghosting in me anymore, so I don't need to hide from that in the pattern itself. I also have no partner that I am skipping out on that needs me, so there is no painful consequence. My brother is still an opiate addict at 40, and he started before he was an adult. My 70-year-old+ mother still finances his addiction, so he doesn't kill himself. It's about as toxic a relationship as you'd imagine. She drives him to get his drugs and gives him the money. He had been working for a good long while but recently lost his job, and his girlfriend, so she's paying for all of it now not just petrol and the extra he'd usually need to get by. My father is a broken man, he's less angry now than he was most of the time but he lives in a pit of despair (mostly self-created). As a kid, we used to argue every day and then I would get a physical punishment about once a week, hand, cane, or belt. So my abuse was never the unpredictable rage others experienced, for me it was routine, and for years I could think of it as normal. It was like being raised by an angry, narcissistic 6-year-old who did nothing but get into shouting matches over small things. Such as the TV control being in the wrong, spot, the door being open, you saying the wrong word, or leaving a cup on the kitchen sink. Just ridiculous things. I remember watching Bender in the breakfast club say this is what happens to him when you spill paint, and I thought well, no to me that happens when you leave the door open. I learned to shout back at first, and that led to the physical abuse, honestly, though the enraged daily shouting was far worse. At 6 I was repeating to him what he was saying to me, that's the earliest I remember the volatile arguments, I mean, a full-blown temper over any small detail like spelling mistakes at primary school, never a simple disagreement. That was the hardest bit of deconditioning I had to do: not taking every small thing like it was the end of the world or a threat I was about to be hit for. Why do I say this? Well, I find it good to write these things out. Especially when life is tough and maybe someone has an insight I haven't thought of. It also explains my brother's initial choice to escape into drugs and my ghosting pattern. If I am not in life, I am not affected as much, computers were always somewhere that was certain and predictable. This escapism was why I loved fantasy time as a kid and eventually computer games. I assume my brothers escapism was similar. Over the many years, I've/we've tried all the things I know in relation to my brother. Love, sympathy, acceptance, denial, anger, pretending, getting him in rehab (expensive) and even using the police. We've experienced everything you imagine from an addict also. My dad and I don't often talk, as you can imagine, but he did say something today. He was talking about suicide and the helplessness he feels, I told him he doesn't see my brother; he sees the addict, and he replied that he'd never seen my brother, only as a kid, because he'd always been on some kind of drug. I realized that he was right. At what point is the person just the person? If that's what they've been all their life, that's what they are. So I realized in my head that, at this late date, I'd still be excusing it all somehow. My brother is and will always be an addict, while my mother is alive, until she or he dies. ^ 1) How would you deal with a ghosting pattern if you found yourself in one often and were tempted to do so? 2) What would you personally do regarding the family situation, bearing in mind that it's been almost 30 years? Also, I am broke and trying to restart a career, so large expenses are out of the question. *Go easy on my mother's codependence also, it's understandable given the environment. I don't excuse her enabling, and believe me I've talked at length with her but I do understand why it happened.

"Tomorrowland" I have been having this vision in the back of my mind for quite some time now. A world where karma is the only currency. You enjoy the fruits of everything you do, also you're not supposed to do anything either. This is also an imperfect world, because karma isn't real either at stage Turquoise, also societal(collective) karma is almost nullified, nobody is forced to do anything. This world here isn't interested in hoarding anything, people are free to do anything, but alone. The goal is that one doesn't interfere or even passively impact the other. There is no need to earn money, or even contribute to the society, you can live a perfectly good life, doing nothing. Infact doing nothing is the norm, it is the best thing to do. Activity is neither encouraged nor discouraged. Flowering of an individual's true nature is celebrated. This world at first, focused on tech advancements as a community, like "Tomorrowland". Soon they get bored of it and commit suicide out of boredom. Because every form of "pleasure" is short circuited, it was not really suicide, it was MahaSamadhi. People left behind their bodies, consciously, without any external aid. Where did it go wrong? Or did it? Thoughts?

I notice that talking to others over the phone and mental stimulation from computer work has an after effect also. Physically demanding and mentally stimulating activities have an after effect. Seems like post exertional malaise, except not really fatigue, but other physical and mental symptoms. I often wonder if I've done enough or if I've procrastinated too much. Time is slipping by. I'm 32 now, the last few years have gone way too fast. I've realised, though I gotta try and enjoy life while this is all going on, rather than waiting for these symptoms to go before living again. Just live around the symptoms the best I can. If I manage to get over this, I'll never take being physically capable for granted again. I hope recovery will make nature that much more beautiful and I will savour it. It makes me feel bad that despite having nature and hiking at my disposal previous, at times I used a few months at a time to procrastinate and be lazy and play video games. I'm done with thinking about suicide for now, I need to give all of this 100% effort, although it's hard because of my mental health symptoms taking up large parts of my day. I remember when I was hiking before, that despite it being enjoyable at times, the internal scenarios would take up about 50-60% of the hike from me. Hopefully this recent suffering was a necessary part of my growth. At times I feel like people younger than me are my fucking seniors.

If nobody is getting hurt, then you can be as kinky and wild as you wish. But pickup brings with it so much pain. It could be the pain of the boyfriend the girl cheats on with the pickup artist who enticed her lower desires. It could be the girl's pain after she realise she got used. It might be the girlfriend of the pickup artist who is in pain as she loves him, but he cant stay off other girls. Theres many scenarios. The scenarios where you are single and getting picked up by a single guy is perfect, and you can do whatever you like. But many times people are getting hurt, hurt badly. Hurt to the point of suicide. Just so he can bust in you and you get your wild naughty orgasms... sure, it feels sooooooo good. But its a momentary pleasure, and not what unconditional love is about. Petition to start a Love Artist Community.

I was unpopular with men and women. A group of boys used to tell me everyday at 15 that "Nobody loves you" it's etched in my memory. The leader of that group was already having sex with multiple women at school and is now married with kids. The girls at school used to say "I would die a virgin", when condoms were handed out during sex education class they laughed at me taking them, since I would never need them. I never found my group of outcast, anyone I asked out would laugh at me. Never got invited anywhere. If a healthy masculinity is so attractive then why do overtly negative, destructive men manage to attract women? How can I develop any self love with such a terrible foundation. I have no positive memories, nothing to fall back on where I can say at this point I was embraced, even cousins and older siblings treated me bad. If you never find your tribe, your self development amounts to nothing. I've had phases of trying to embrace myself and it works until you go home alone again knowing nobody cares about you or will call on your birthday. I am not angry at women anymore but I have given up on trying, the only reason I won't kill myself is because I believe in reincarnation and think I will have to repeat this lifetime if I commit suicide. So I just have to endure this pathetic existence until it's my time.

I sit down on my couch and took a breather, as I needed to really let it sink in that my days as a nobody are coming to an end. I have always wondered what it was like to have fame, to struggle to live with barely any privacy, to be the topic of roundtable discussions in family and friend gatherings. Okay maybe I’m putting it on a little thick, I’m not a super star, but a material witness to a college student’s suicide influenced by one of the most famous Professors in the world who is being charged as contributing to the suicide like a Doctor Kevorkian is certainly no small feat and all I had to do was show up. It reminds me of a famous Woody Allen quote about how one of the keys to success is just showing up and while I do not think he would include this in his success bracket from a self-marketing perspective it works. If you want to be relatively famous just wake up and show up to the day I had. I decide to call my friend Steve Assurdo and tell him about what is happening and as soon as I get ready to dial his number my phone starts ringing…. it’s him. I pick up and as soon as I do…” WHAT THE HELL MAN?!!! I winced as the volume was already high on my phone and he nearly blew out an ear drum with that screaming. “Ouch man not so loud.” There was a slight pause then “My bad man, I just wanted to check on you because I saw your funny face plastered all over the news. It’s saying you saw some kid blow his brains out so I was checking to see if metaphorically your brains are still in place and didn’t fall out along with him.” I shook my head instinctively even though he wouldn’t see it since we didn’t video call, “ Hahahah you didn’t have to say it like that man, when he killed himself I didn’t die with him, although it did feel like a death of sorts, cause I have felt hollow and empty inside ever since he did that.” Steve laughed. “I bet you were like why the hell I wake up to see this shit!” I laughed right along with him” You read my mind.” Steve responded “You think this will make you interested in the medical field? Cut open some cadavers?” “Hell no,” I responded. “This makes me cringe even more that its somebody’s job to clean up our mess when we die. Like we did something we weren’t supposed to and the coroner’s job is to sneakily take us away for crossing the uncrossable line. Steve laughs again and says “Seriously? I thought this would make you more comfortable around death now that you seen it up close.” I thought about it and replied “Truthfully it did, I’m much more comfortable around death because I saw how instantaneous it can be. One second you are alive and emoting and vocalizing, the next second you are stiff and rigid and motionless. The boy was suffering a whole lot but death probably gave him the peace he desired.” Steve replied “Your lucky I got things to do right now otherwise I’d get on you for trying to sound all mature and introspective. I was just calling to check on you and see if you were fine and you seem okay.” I let out a sign “Steve I’m honestly all over the place. It’s like I’m an emotional paradox right now. I feel fear, calm, frustration, tranquility, acceptance, and confusion all at the same time.” The phone went dead just as I said that and I realized…I didn’t charge my phone. I took my phone and put it on the charger and the phone rang and this time it was my Mom. I ignored it, the phone was on 1% and I didn’t feel like being stuck stationary holding onto my phone while it was charging (the chord was going bad so movements caused the charge to go off sometimes) and I had already got out my desire to talk to somebody about what happened. I decided to go to sleep, it had been a long day and certainly it couldn’t get any worse right? In fact I’ve watched enough movies to know you never ask that question so now I’ll just assume it will get worse….at least I won’t be caught off guard when it happens.

I am concerned it's been 7 months without a resolution, but I am at least significantly self aware and know how to manage the symptoms for now so they don't overpower my day and I can enjoy a small amount of things. At times I recognise I have procrastinated a lot, which happens when it's all about study, contemplation and research, but when I figure out practical things to do I'm right on it. I wish this was as simple as having a room full of tasks and paperwork to do and the problem would be resolved right at the end of the endeavour, and I would be on it 16 hours a day. I forgive myself because I've had days where I've been suicidal and just needing to rest, sleep and vent on suicide forums. But after weeks/months of spending many hours doing this I realise that I need to be fully dedicated to life, and realise that suicidal ideation/fantasy can just be a form of cope/relief. I am 100% committed to this, and this whole thing will hopefully be all worth it, especially when it comes to recognising the depths of my ADHD's impact on my ability to get shit done.

Hello, This is a continuation of I have continued analyzing the incident and came to the conclusion that they used psychological warfare to break my will. Meaning that they used external stress to break my will. That didn't work and I used psychological force in retaliation as self defense. I have also started analyzing their classification and come to the conclusion that they misclassified me twice. According to ICD-10 I should have been classified as F69 or F99. Unfortunately they first classified me as F25, then F30.2 which are both incorrect. I would accept F30.1 but my actual classification is F69. That is a problem for them because they used force when they were legally not allowed to. Article 1 of the german law states GG = Grundgesetz says "Die Würde des Menschen ist unantastbar" =ChatGPT tranlation=> "Human dignity shall be inviolable. To respect and protect it shall be the duty of all state authority." § 278 Ausstellen unrichtiger Gesundheitszeugnisse. (1) Wer zur Täuschung im Rechtsverkehr als Arzt oder andere approbierte Medizinalperson ein unrichtiges Zeugnis über den Gesundheitszustand eines Menschen ausstellt, wird mit Freiheitsstrafe bis zu zwei Jahren oder mit Geldstrafe bestraft." =ChatGPT translation=> ""§ 278 Issuing False Health Certificates. (1) Whoever, to deceive in legal transactions, as a physician or other licensed medical professional, issues a false certificate regarding the health status of an individual shall be punished with imprisonment for up to two years or with a fine." Now I am not sure what to do tbh. I know that I am in the right, because I used the *tool* "Bottom up analysis" together with the *tool* "Finite State Machine" to fight back. I prevented them from entering my safe space, by making them believe that I would hurt them. I was just protecting them from me, because I am a strong male, with a background in Muay Thai and the ability to use my environment to my advantage. I used the features of the room as a weapon against them. There are undocumented features in the room, that are safety features for SD-YELLOW people so that they can break out of the room, even if the SD-BLUE system has become completely SICK. I consciously used these features against them. I am really stunned at the power of the Spiral Dynamics System. SD-BEIGE is extremely dangerous and usually either leads to suicide or mass murder. I prevented harm to myself and others by using logic in its purest form. I am really scared of becoming a killing machine. I want to get back into Muay Thai, but that knowledge can be used to incapacitate a human being within 1-5 seconds. That would allow me to run away. I know that I cannot have knives on me in SD-BEIGE. I need to prevent SD-BEIGE at all costs. I am thinking of using an Apple Watch Ultra as a safety measure, so I atleast can make an emergency call to the police via the watch.

There's really no one asleep but to the dreamer and the "I" thought it surely appears that way. The individual that claims to have a life and is thinking thoughts and is making decisions is a dream, an illusion. Excuse the pronouns and the verbs and the language as there is no other way of expressing this without sounding robotic and mechanical and Advaita and non-dualistic and whatever other concepts and labels you guys have for this. I know nothing about those things and happen to stumble upon those terms. What I'm saying here is what I have come to recognize; and if you feel I'm wrong and you know the Truth then there's no need to defend your stance because the truth needs no defense and I'm not claiming this to be the truth nor trying to convince anyone of anything. You believe you came into this world to defend yourself. You believe that your parents had you and now they raise you to battle the world and then die and leave you here to suffer. You believe you have to figure this out for your survival or else you will starve and suffer and not have a good life. How's that working for you. Even if you have bouts of happiness and joy, it doesn't last. Why? Because you are in a dream. The dream is forever changing that's it's nature. It cannot help but change, you cannot help but have inconsistencies. That's what a dream is. Ever notice how you're never fulfilled, ever notice how there's always a problem to be solved. Ever notice once you get something achieved there's always another thing to achieve. Ever notice how the rich doesn't go away on an island and live happily ever after. Ever notice how most celebrities are still unhappy and some apparently commit suicide or are on drugs. You will come up with stories about why this happens; but they will all be stories. Some of you say you are God but still suffer. You will say you are God suffering and that is what God is doing. God is suffering. You will say God is evil and that God is the devil. You will come up with all these ideas and stories about what God is and say you are God doing these things. God isn't doing anything because God is all those things, but I will not repeat these lines over and over and over. You have addictions and you can't control it. You go to therapy for this addiction. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. You get off alcohol but now you're addicted to coffee or sex or porn or drugs or whatever. You come on here asking for advice on how to stop doing this and how to stop doing that. You are asking people like yourself who you have dreamed up to believe are just like you and who can help you. If you really think you are special and the world revolves around you, that's arrogance and self-importance. If you really think other people are fortunate and you're not, that's arrogance. If you think you're fortunate and others aren't that's arrogance. If I really think I'm giving you a message that will benefit you or is of any value to you, that's arrogance and self-importance. Ever notice how you can't stop doing something you want to stop doing. Ever notice how we have to meditate and do processes to try to stop the body from doing it's thing because we think we are in control. This is not saying to stop doing those things because whether you stop or continue, is what will happen. I still do things, still suffer, still get mad, still talk shit, still watch videos, still do whatever but I recognize it's not me doing anything it's just happening. I don't fight it, I don't build stories and find excuses for it, I just let it be there with the recognition that that's what's happening. The energy is gone in no time because that's what happened not because I surrendered or did anything on my own accord. If you say, why bother posting, you're assuming there's someone posting. This is energy appearing as a post. There's no one here to post or not post. Do you think if I had the senses to decide to post or not post that I would chose to post this stupid nonsensical post that I will get flack for, no I would choose not to. Do you think i'm posting this to help or to bring value, no because there's no value for the individual. You are not gaining but losing from this post and the individual just wants to gain. You aren't even losing because there's no one to lose. This sounds like "of God, here goes again, no doer, no chooser, nothing matters" but that is just you perpetuating the dream. I'm not trying to wake you up here, i'm not even trying to do anything. The only thing that might happen is the dream recognizes itself as so. You are not dreaming. You are the dream. Life is unfolding as we speak. This is life right here. Me writing now is life, whatever responses I get from this post will be life happening but my thoughts about what the responses may be is just my imagination, which is also God. You cannot not be God because there's nothing but God and God is no-thing appearing as everything. Even as your arrogance and self-importance. The ones who claim not to be God are the most arrogant and most delusional and the ones who claim to be God but still think they are making things happen and can change the world are the most delusional and the ones who do neither are the most confused. Then again that's just my ideas about all that, as is of no substance and means nothing. Replace the word God with any word. Doesn't matter.

@meta_male I wish you health and healing brother! It is unimaginably hard, and I even can't find anything to say. Let me mention that I frequently fall into the depression and sometimes suicide seems very attractive option to me. In such times, I try to practice acceptance that everything is fucked up with my life, and then I remind myself that 'this is the situation that I don't have anything to lose, so why not to try again? why not to try to improve and to see what happens just for the sake of curiosity? given the fact that death will come to me one day, then why accelerate it?' Maybe this can work a bit for you.

What is the value of culturally constructed narratives? And what should we as a society do when our social constructs begin to become untenable? In the following passage of the philosophy book that I'm writing, '7 Provisional Truths' I explore both of these questions. What I argue for is a pivot towards a Reconstructive Epistemology that allows us to construct our cultural narratives in a more self-aware way. Rather than romanticizing the past or trying to do away with shared social narratives entirely, we'd be better off with narratives that are flexible, inclusive, and compassionate. (For some added context, I propose 'Enactivism' as one possible candidate for a Reconstructive epistomology. Its primary emphasis is that minds 'enact', or 'bring forth', an experiential world in accordance with our living bodies and our environment. A central tenet of this viewpoint is the lack of any absolute or fixed boundary between ourselves and the world. As a consequence, both our minds and the world work in tandem to construct knowledge.) _______________________________________________________ The Need For Reconstructive Epistemology To understand the necessity of reconstructive epistemology, it’s essential to consider the outcomes for a culture when its stories and myths become untenable, without any suitable replacements to fill the void. What’s important to realize about these constructed narratives is that they serve an underlying purpose which transcends their specific content. Which is to supply individuals living alongside one another within a society with a framework for shared forms of meaning and identity. These frameworks came to be especially important once human societies grew to the point that the close-knit social relationships of nomadic hunter-gatherer tribes began to break down. In essence, there’s a cognitive limit to the number of human beings that we can relate to on a first name, face-to-face basis. This figure is known as Dunbar’s number, which is around 150 or so individuals. While most of us don’t find it unusual to be living in societies whose other members are mostly strangers to us, it’s essential to recognize that this is a far cry from the type of social environment that our psychology is evolutionarily adapted to. In order to have functional societies that contain thousands and even millions of people, humans developed a number of social-technologies that would allow interactions with individuals that we don’t know to become routine to daily life. One of these social-technologies was the development of constructed social identities that can sustain social interactions in lieu of a network of extended familial relations to draw upon. Precisely because we wouldn’t have the types of large societies that we live in today without these constructed forms of identity, we ignore their underlying role and purpose at our own peril. As such, the narratives that they sustain aren’t some holdover from the distant past. Human rights, democracy, money, and even science are just a few of the constructs that support our modern interconnected world. Accordingly, if people stopped believing in them they would cease to exist; yet it would be a mistake to think of them as ‘imaginary’, as their effects on us are very real. For our present purposes, what’s worth noting is that constructed narratives will eventually begin to break down. This could be as a result of their own internal contradictions, mounting external pressure, or some combination thereof. We’ll refer to this process as Construct Collapse. When this happens (assuming that the society in question is still around), something will eventually move in to fill that vacuum. Importantly, Construct Collapse isn’t a positive or negative development in and of itself. The degree to which it’s beneficial or harmful depends upon the context in which it happens, and what ultimately ends up replacing it. For instance, with the benefit of hindsight, very few people today would openly argue that the collapse of the cultural narratives that supported slavery was a bad thing. On the flip side, totalitarian ideologies which exploit Construct Collapse during states of crisis are an example of its inherent dangers. More often, Construct Collapse may end up addressing an existing societal problem, while introducing a host of unforeseen consequences. For a vivid illustration of this, we can look to a well-known historical example whose effects are still being felt today. When the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche famously decried that ‘God is dead, and we have killed him’, what he was referring to was the displacement of organized religion as the ground of meaning and purpose in people’s lives. As a witness to the rapid social changes that were taking place in 19th century Europe, he predicted that the constructed cultural narratives that had sustained Western societies would become increasingly untenable. Swept aside beneath the march of science, industrialization, and secular values (otherwise known as ‘modernity’). Correctly perceiving that people would still have existential needs around meaning and purpose which scientific and material progress isn’t a suitable substitute for, his concern was that cynicism, despair, and vacuous consumerism would come to occupy that void. Leaving aside that his proposed solution for this crisis was quite maladaptive and toxic, insofar as it recommended that we move ‘beyond good and evil’ to pursue our own egoic agendas heedless of ethics or morality, Nietzsche still deserves credit for identifying the potential for a very real problem. Turning the clock forward from the 19th century to our own era, we find ourselves amidst a process of ongoing social fragmentation which has been called the ‘Meaning Crisis’. (All due credit to the cognitive scientist and philosopher John Verveake for popularizing this term). We can see evidence for this in the widespread adoption of conspiracy theories, political extremism, and bullshit in public discourse; all of which is having a disastrous effect on the civil societies that sustain democratic institutions. Moreover, social media platforms, whose business models push divisive content as a way of driving user engagement, have been adding fuel to this fire. While there’s a tendency to think of these as recent problems, in actuality they’re an acceleration of longstanding trends within profit-driven media, which has long understood that crises and fragmentation can be lucratively exploited for private gain. In conjunction with this sharp increase in polarization, we’re undergoing an unprecedented mental health crisis in the West, which has left millions of people feeling alienated and lonely. In the United States, life expectancy has been declining over the last several years, due in no small part to ‘deaths of despair’ (i.e., suicide and substance abuse). Additionally we’re in the midst of an unfolding ecological crisis that’s poised to have profound impacts on human civilization over the upcoming decades, further feeding into this mental health crisis. These impacts have been especially pronounced among young people, where anxiety about the state of the world they’ll be inheriting is commonplace. With the youngest generation at the time of this book’s writing, Gen Alpha, not remembering a time before the dysfunctions of the hyper-polarized world that we’re living in today. Of course, none of this is meant to downplay the leading role that endemic socio-economic dysfunction has played in these crises. For instance, it’s going to be hard to feel hopeful about the future if your economy is structured in such a way that buying a home, starting a family, and saving for retirement are all increasingly out of reach for ordinary people. Likewise, a great deal of polarization is driven by perverse incentive structures which enable bad actors to exploit existing societal divisions for economic and political gain. That said, it’s important to keep in mind that economic and political dysfunction is downstream from culture. Focusing exclusively on these (admittedly, very real) political and economic factors is to miss a hugely important part of the story. Which is that in addition to these factors, we’re facing an epistemological crisis in the West. In essence, there’s mounting evidence that different segments of society are not inhabiting the same Reality. Beyond having different interpretations over basic facts that we can more or less agree upon, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to reach a foundational consensus for productive disagreements. Moreover, the proliferation of ever more sophisticated versions of artificial intelligence is poised to make this problem even worse over the upcoming decades. These are dangerous developments, making it extraordinarily difficult to cultivate shared understanding with one another. This is incredibly important because the social dysfunction that we’ve been experiencing will only get worse as the epistemological crisis deepens. Which is why epistemological literacy is arguably more important now than it’s ever been. Of course, it would be the height of folly to propose that Enactivism, or any other narrowly defined epistemology, is going to be the silver bullet that will deliver us from this crisis. But what perspectives like this one can accomplish is to help us cultivate more self awareness around the narratives we use to make sense of Reality. Enactivism is a reconstructive epistemology because it acknowledges that constructed narratives play an essential role in addressing our individual and collective needs. At the same time, this comes with a recognition that there are better and worse ways to construct narratives. And that we would be far better off if the ones we use are, on the whole, more flexible, compassionate, and inclusive. Hopefully, it should be evident by now that reconstructive epistemology isn’t a call to return to the ‘good old days’ of a romanticized past that never truly existed. Rather, the reconstructive framework that we’re proposing isn’t interested in quick-fixes for complex problems, nor is it to be taken as a one-size-fits-all approach that’s dogmatically applied to every conceivable situation. Rather, Enactivism is meant to exist alongside other epistemological perspectives, in dialogue with them. Note that this isn’t an assertion that every type of epistemology is equally valid, so much as it’s a recognition that the perspective that we’re constructing is necessarily true, but partial.