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And that's precisely the point. The house is burning, Death is next moment. The fool thinks Death is far away, but is always next moment. If this doesnt compel one to seek and notice the urgency of it, then I dont know what will. People at large doesnt comtemplate Death, they are too casual about it, and thats why most are not wise people. Believe it or not, I dont, otherwise I wouldnt have found actualized.org. But language is limited, I have to express the larger point somehow. And I did consider suicide, its foolish for a variety of reasons. No problem, its was enjoyable indeed.

It's not a handwaving, every time I leave the house I know perfectly well I might die in some accident, or simpler still a brain aneurysm I don't know about could suddenly rupture and kill me on the spot or render me a vegetable wherever I am. It may be the most logical emotionally, but there's higher order logic. Your trouble is identifying with the human you too much, which can indeed be destroyed by Death easier than brushing off a speck of dust. Such conventions don't apply to your actual Identity though. Then there's the whole angle of suicide to consider, but that's unnecessary radical for now. Enjoyable as it was, gonna have to shorten all further posts for time purposes, since it's a universal pattern that people ignore 90% of it anyway.

I'm not a toddler to not understand this .you got this one and everyone gets this cuz that's what society tells you to do. I'm offering the other perspective..can you understand that there is no such thing as traumatic in "actuality " ? There was a huge crime that happened back in 2007 in America (not sure but I took it from Sam Harris). Two criminals robbed a house and killed two little girls and stole all the money and then tied their parents to the bed and burned them alive and the entire house . The criminals weren't arrested because they both committed suicide soon after the incident because probably they went "okay why on earth should anyone do that "?. They actually wrote a suicide note saying that they regret what they did . Can you tell me what did you understand from this story ?

@Oeaohoo A .1% increase in baseline consciousness could be the difference between depression on the brink of suicide and genuine peace, a sense of purpose, and a heart full of gratitude. I'm less than 1% higher in my baseline from when I was at my lowest. But I live in a different reality. If you're more interested in the truth angle than the liberation angle, then there's plenty of that too.

I'm truly mesmerised and confused about the way Iran is handling this conflict. For the longest time, their responses were the most rational and calibrated. And now what?! They're gone absolutely insane. They're just proving they're terrorists waiting for the right moment to blow up. I mean I understand the situation doesn't leave them many options, but this is literally suicide bombing. Just imagine they develop nuclear.

Suicide is like forfeiting the game, but you never completed it so you will have to start over. Now ask yourself, do you really want to start over and go through all that shit again? because its not like you can escape what you need to learn and master in the next life, you will eventually be met with the same challenges or (part of the game) you need to complete to progress further in the souls evolutionary path, so to speak. So killing yourself will only create more karma you have to deal with in the next life and who knows how many times you have done it in previous lives, if you look at it this way, you'll see the pointlessness of suicide and its the only way to truly fail the game. If someone kills you, you actually have succeeded, because that's God's will / plan / agreement of a higher order. Suicide is always due to disconnection and disembodiment from the higher truth / plan / divine play and order.

@Majed Maybe there is some spiritual truth to suicide and spirituality. But I'd argue using spirituality as a justification for suicide is just an egoic rationalisation for the act.

Doesn't everyone know this? You don't need to be enlightened to understand that suicide is always an option. A child understands this.

@Leo Gura You missed my point which is that after insanity which results in you losing your human mind, and becoming God, you realize that there are no difference between life and death, except for the survival game you're playing, hence you can consciously choose to cut it off through suicide. This is a different thing from suicide as an escape from the brutality of life. This is more like a rational deliberate choice, even if your life is great, you can still prefer to die and stop playing the survival game.

Dude. You don't need to become insane to choose suicide. Millions of people choose it every year. Life is brutal and suicide is common. Has nothing to do with insanity or even spirituality.

it's kind of like being enlightened as a monk vs as a regular person having to handle financial attachments etc. you could argue that the monk has it easy because their life is set up in such a way as to discourage any sort of attachment they may have - so have they really mastered detachment, are they really enlightened? i think the same logic can be applied to suicide: it's easy to exist undefined, as God. existing as a form that needs to survive WHILE maintaining detachment from said survival, that's the challenge. so is living through the ugliness and corruption of survival while ultimately still looking back and going "oh, that still counted though. that was still a valid form of Love, no matter how small and contracted". all these spiritual ideas on and around suicide, if anything, are more a case in point for human attachment to survival. if you weren't attached to your experience (suffering vs no suffering), you would not care about being alive. you would not even notice whether or not you are alive, because yes, indeed, there is no difference.

Only depressed or miserable people or people in deep suffering commit suicide. Has nothing to do with enlightenment.

If you have to commit suicide you haven't mastered the game, and still within it. Your meant to ascend out of it entirely Realizing or glimpsing you are God is one thing, total illumination / embodiment / liberation is an entirely different thing.

4 of my friends Died from suicide /Overdose, my Dad hit me for 10 years and gaslight me calling me a liar. The Love of My Life Life LEFT. Became Conscious of Solipsism directly. And I gave EVERYTHING INC MY LIFE TO GOD / TRUTH . And then LEO says hes more awake then me calls me disturbed and he doesnt love me personally. I dont know what to do or feel

@Majed People hate death and suicide, because they're life addicts. Also they have misconceptions about what death is. Death isn't about reincarnation or heaven or hell or nothing. Death is about a surrender of the body to infinite consciousness, which is God. The dysfunction isn't suicide, the dysfunction is your relationship to death.

When you become God, you realize there is no difference between life and death. The only difference is that during life you're constrained to survive your organism, otherwise you die. When you become insane, you can willingly choose to surrender the survival of your oraganism, and choose suicide, which is escaping the hallucination of your own organism, and existing eternally as God.

Update February 24 2026 This entire process towards fana has taken a lot longer than I expected, but it has still very much been moving forwards. Since December I've been going through more waves of pain, my ego breaking and dissolving at deeper and deeper levels. My consciousness has also been getting much deeper, and I’ve been having crazy awakenings - tastes of infinity, tastes of unity, remembrance of where I was pre-birth, all sober. Recent trips I haven't been using psychedelics much (I did DMT a few times in August 2025, MDMA a few times mid October) but earlier in February I did 2C-B, and later Ketamine, and had some really incredible trips. It was my first time trying 2C-B. Using it this far along in my journey, this close to fana, was insane. I had some really incredible awakenings on it, and also some really beautiful and amazing things happened regarding my path. For example, on 2C-B, I came in contact with the divine mother in a way I never have before. What is so special about it is that it’s not just coming in contact with God in an abstract, human way - it’s not just interacting with the divine mother, it’s my divine mother, because I came from Her. I’m coming in contact with the essence that birthed my soul. As I mentioned before, I have been massively starved of intimacy throughout my life, I have felt like an alien walking the earth, like no one understands me at all, far more than what most spiritual people experience. When I come in contact with Her, it’s like that flips to the opposite end of the spectrum. It’s extreme intimacy, extreme understanding, extreme closeness, because we are one and the same. I am Her, and we know and understand each other completely. The way we interact with each other feels like I am her child, like her ‘special boy’, like she wants to pull me into her arms and hold me, because I belong to her. It feels like I would never even know that She was God based on this interaction alone, because it feels so different from what you’d expect an interaction with God to feel like. She just feels like my home. These interactions are bittersweet, because they are so beautiful when they happen, but it hurts me when I lose contact with Her, but I know I’ll be with Her permanently soon. A lot of really amazing things happened on these trips, but they are really personal and private to my path, so I can’t really share them. I also had some really cool interactions with God on Ketamine, which again probably only happened because of where I’m at spiritually. Where my consciousness is at now At this point, so often I am conscious that my direct experience is the only thing that exists (I also had a really deep solipsism awakening on 2C-B which took this even farther). It feels obvious that I am sitting in the same place I was before I was born, only now, there is form - an imagined physical world around me. But I’m partly conscious that every person is just a piece of my own mind, and they don’t really exist. Because of that, it doesn’t feel that crazy to tell people about everything that’s going on with me, how deeply I’m awakening, because I realize that I’m the only one here and there isn’t really anyone else there to hear about it. It’s just me going home to where I was before birth, and even though Fana al Fana is the deepest permanent awakened state a person can reach, it feels like there is nothing special or rare about it, because it’s just me here, and I’m going home like I was always meant to. My consciousness gets deeper and deeper every day. I’m getting so close to full collapse and surrender, and once that happens, I will be swallowed and consumed by God, and be gone. My path is about becoming the divine mother, and considering everything else that has gone on my life (before this path I was very interested in psychology and emotional healing work) and considering the state of the world today, it really seems like I’m going to become a sort of ‘mental health Jesus’. Everything about my path points to that, and the divine mother is perfectly suited for that. Another cool way to think about it: If Jesus brought God to the world as the father (the masculine face of God), and his path was about bringing spiral dynamics stage red into stage blue, my path is about bringing the world into spiral dynamics stage green. How brutal my path has been My path has been brutal and excruciating beyond words. I could write out more and more about just how awful it has been, but I don’t think I would ever get anyone to understand, so it feels like there isn’t much point. I genuinely believe though that I have gone through one of the most difficult spiritual paths in all of human history. It hasn’t just been hard, it’s been emotional torture. Literally. Also, it makes perfect sense for it to have been this hard, because 1: emissary soul paths go the deepest (fana al fana) and as a result are always the most difficult spiritual paths, and 2: the feminine face of God is one of the deepest levels of unity, which requires the most amount of pain to launch you to that depth of unity, and yet a soul of the feminine face of God is extremely sensitive and feels everything much more deeply than other people. I fucking hate being alive. I’ve wanted to be dead so badly for years now. Every single thing in life hurts me, I never get a break from it, the suffering never ends. All I care about is being dead. The way I found out I’d be reaching fana is that it was offered to me from God as an alternative to suicide. The process towards it has been far more difficult and painful than I ever imagined. It is humiliating being kept alive and having to go through this long, painful, tortuous process. It is so fucking slow and brutal and I just wish I would hurry up and die. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that once fana al fana happens, I will never incarnate again, and it won’t just be death, it will be heaven - the deepest level of unity with the feminine face of God. I’ve been shaped to be completely intolerant of separation from God. I cannot stand being human and existing as a separate self. Everything about it is hell. I hate having to figure out my life and make decisions for myself, I hate dealing with limitation and not being able to have things I want, I hate being starved of intimacy, no one understands me and I’m always completely alone. I hate being hurt by every single little thing all the time because of how sensitive I am. I hate being powerless to doing anything about the situation I’m in. Separation from God is absolutely, completely unbearable to me, and I could never tolerate anything less than total unity, and as a result, total death/annihilation. Like I said, I don’t think I could ever get anyone to understand just how brutal my path has been, but at the same time it doesn’t really matter, because my unity and relationship with God is what will make up for it, so no person needs to understand it. I know that the depth of hell I’ve been dragged through is exactly what will allow God to shine through me so deeply and clearly after fana. What ‘Tristan’ is Before my birth, I was the entire infinite feminine face of God. She fragmented herself, placed Herself into a human body, and that human was named Tristan. Then over the course of 25 years, Tristan has been dissolved and brought to the point where Her fragment could merge back with Her, leading to the entire feminine face of God living in a human body, walking the Earth. At that point, Tristan as an ego is not just dead, not just mostly gone, but totally annihilated and eviscerated. That’s what allows me to be completely dead and gone like I want, and for God to shine through me totally unobstructed by ego. That’s what Fana al fana is. (Lover = the human seeking God. Beloved = God) "The lover is a veil, all is Beloved. Beloved lives. The lover is a corpse." - Rumi Because my entire 25 year life as Tristan played out the way it did only to serve this purpose, rather than being a human, ‘Tristan’ is actually the name of a specific flavour of unity with God. My personality, my passions, interests, preferences, my desires, things I’ve been through in my life… these things aren’t just human experiences, they are specifically meant to shape my soul, and thus shape the way God acts through me once I reach unity, which God then uses to interact with the world and help people. That is what ‘Tristan’ is. A flavour of unity, a specific way that God (the divine mother) interacts with people and the world after fana. Conclusion It feels weird to be saying all of this to begin with because I realize that my own mind is all that exists, and so I’m not really talking to anyone. To me it sort of just feels like this 25 years of hell is about to be over, and I’m about to go back home to where I belong, and then I’ll be happy. If what then lives in my body and walks this Earth after my death is a Jesus type figure, then okay, great. As long as I as Tristan am dead, that’s all that matters to me. Hopefully what I’m writing here and what I wrote earlier in this thread gives a bit of an idea of what I’ve been through. Once the final collapse into fana al fana happens, I as Tristan will be totally wiped away, and only God will remain. I think it’s cool to be able to talk about all of this before that happens, while I’m still human, and then later for people to see what becomes of me after fana, even though I as Tristan won’t be there to see it. I know that I as Tristan am just an illusion, just a placeholder until I merge back with God. “The lover is a veil, all is Beloved”. There is a massive amount of stuff that I have to keep private between God and I. Something that is really special about the feminine face of God is how unique and unusual it is, in the way that it functions and operates, compared to any other aspect of God. That itself leads to an insane amount of intimacy between Her and I, and it is also why I have to keep so much about my unity private. It’s important to note that my unity is not just my death, it is going home to Her, being reunited, and then us falling endlessly in love with each other, permanently freed from the pain of separation. Our endless love, intimacy, romance is what then gets channeled out into the world, through her feminine essence. Here are things associated with the feminine essence of God: Soft, gentle, motherly love. Tenderness. Affection. Adoration. Deep sensitivity. Deep intimacy, deep emotional attunement. Safety. Connection, togetherness, closeness. Romance. Sexuality. Pleasure. Infinite beauty. Freedom from any form of pain or suffering. Innocence. Childlike essence. Playfulness.

My review: What went good- flow of conversation, much smoother than Curt Jaimungal’s talk. Anastasia & Shilo get tons of credit for being open to take controversial topics. Leo excelled at patience and non defensiveness. what could have gone better- when Anastasia insinuated Leo’s view on morality could lead to a death cult or suicide, it put Leo in a tricky position. It’s possible he could have put more emphasis on how death cults and suicide ARE actually manifestations of Absolute Good. But I get it, you can get banned off platforms nowadays for saying that. Her assertion at the very least can be considered a mental defense mechanism of the materialist, human-centric worldview. Very sophisticated and logical, but there is a subtle self preserving motive behind it. Overall- I give it a solid A, what would make it a A+ is going deep into things like Godels Incompleteness Theorem & Einsteins Law of Relativity as it relates to Infinity. If they do another talk, I’m sure it’ll check all the boxes.

Round 3: -Missed quite a few doses on schedule but caught up reasonably ok. -Feel more grounded, slightly clearer thinking, less fight or flight response. (could be from chelation and/or other things I am doing.) -Going to see my dentist soon, I already had my teeth x rayed to determine if there is any mercury filling pieces left a few years ago and the dentist said I am good but I am a bit worried there may still be some specs left and I have been going pretty hard on chelation so I do not want to waste my money/time/energy and potentially make things worse. Just having second thoughts about that. I will talk to my dentist about this (she is a rare dentist that removes mercury fillings as safe as possible) , took me a while to find her. -I checked out Brian Bander's suicide note/story and it is a reminder to be careful with alpha lipoic acid. I am surprised that you can die from taking a few grams of ala all at once, makes me a bit nervous. Brian said he inhaled 20 grams accidentally and there have been a couple of deaths I have heard of in the 6 gram range. -DMSA and ala only so far, same dosages.

I think you're putting fulfilment on a pedestal(which is not the definition) and taking it to mean after you've done X thing you will not have achieved fulfillment in all aspect of existence and nothing else will matter as you're now ultimately fulfilled. I think we can perhaps come back to common ground and agree that a relationship with toxic communication where the partner's aren't able to talk to each other and have an healthy sexual relationship will be less fulfilling than a relationship where both partners have worked through their communication and emotional issues and are able to have a fulfilling sex life full of adventurousness and openness. There are many levels to the quality of a relationship, surely you agree with this? If we're arguing semantics and you wanna use another word than fulfillment then we can use contentment or satisfaction. Contentment: A deep, lasting sense of peace and being "enough." I think it's totally possible to find a relationship that satisfies your relationship needs(whether that relationship is with one or multiple, I am polyamorous to your point but still lol) and then focus on other areas of life. Especially we consider infinity and spirituality then being ultimately content forever is impossible that means that your fulfillment is limited. To be infinite it has to be continuously pushed further unless you ultimately aim to reach cessation and basically spiritual suicide. I don't know if you're a tech optimist and futurist but we could take this conversation much further and bring biological immortality into it. To be "fulfilled" now you just have to be in that relationship for like 50 years get your kids and grandkids and die. It seems like we're soon gonna massively extend lifespan and now relationships will exist on a timeline of hundreds of years and not just a marriage based on childrearing.

@oOo Thanks for the reply. I assume you don't have adhd (volonic)? Because if you do, I want to warn you about people you've mentioned like Marcus Aurelius and David Goggins. A lot of the things these people say are poisonous for volonics. I've said something like this before on this forum but telling a volonic person to be disciplined is like telling someone with no arms to swim. Note that I'm not against telling people with no arms to learn to swim. But one has to understand that this is a dangerous practice and that when you do, you should absolutely not compare your swimming abilities to normal swimmers. I want to use this opportunity to talk more about the volonic and avolonic modes of existence in the ontomodality model in a contemplative way. (Sorry it's a bit messy, that's simply because ontomodality is a new theory) Theory What is the volonic mode of existence? The volonic mode of existence is "existence as (autonomous) will". According to my model, "will" is a manifestation (mode) of existence. A volonic being is a being that is sensitive to the volonic mode of existence and insensitive to the avolonic mode of existence. A volonic being acting out (note that not all modes can be "acted out", since acting out itself is volonic) the volonic mode of existence (simply put, engage in autonomous will) will exist as resonance (fulfillment, love, existence, energy). A volonic being existing as the avolonic mode (simply put, outwardly imposed will) will exist as alienation (apathy, fear, non-existence, depletion) Example The best way to understand the volonic mode of existence is to imagine a perfectly volonic being as a thought experiment. This being would constantly have ideas and impulses that imply action. Engaging in these ideas is what gives this being existence (through resonance). Not being able to act these impulses or being expected to execute on other peoples ideas leads to alienation (non-existence, fear, etc.). This means to do things other people tell the volonic to do or do things that the volonic person thinks they need to do but don't actually want to do is like committing suicide since suicide is just a manifestation of the more fundamental alienation which is a manifestation of the even more fundamental non-existence. Another helpful way is to learn through distinction and comparing it with the same thought experiment regarding a perfectly avolonic being. An avolonic being experiences alienation when they don't get instructions and if they are asked to be creative. They are only at resonance, when they get told exactly what to do. If you hear someone say "without my job, my life would not have any substance (substance in this context is a manifestation of existence) and I wouldn't know what to do" you automatically know they are avolonic. At the other hand, If you hear someone say something like “I felt suffocated (suffocation is a really nice example for a manifestation of non-existence) doing my job and realized I need to be my own boss” you know they are volonic. You might realize that I’m struggling to describe my model in the English language. That’s because no word in any language seems ever not to be a manifestation of existence or non-existence and therefore emptiness. So as an example the sentence “when you don’t have adhd and you are asked to be creative, you get anxious” can be translated into ontomodality language like this: “1. an avolonic being 2. being asked to engage in 3. the volonic mode of existence 4. is alienation”, which is the same thing as “1. avolonic existence 2. avolonic existence 3. volonic existence 4. avolonic non-existence” which is the same thing as “existence existence existence non-existence” which is the same thing as “existence non-existence” which is at the end of the day the same thing as “sunyata” So this is not a bug but a feature. The model explains exactly how language and therefore human knowledge ultimately collapses into emptiness. This is why my theory is the ultimate theory of non-dual epistemology I believe. I am aware that I need to show this for other examples too, especially ones that are unrelated to neurodivergence. I want to add that I want to get a lot more precise with this in the future. It seems like a completely new avenue in linguistics, language philosophy and deconstruction. But there already exist way too many applications of the theory for a single individual to handle in a lifetime. I honestly would be thankful for some help on the long run. As I said, some of these insights are a bit sloppy which is because the theory is new, I am just one person and I’m having some of them as I go and therefore haven’t had time to flesh them out yet lol. I wanted to apply this to "discipline" but the non-dual epistemology insight was more important. Maybe I will talk about discipline when I have recharged, I just want to post this now.

How to Explain Eastern Taoist Magic? In 2023, while reading, I experienced a sudden and intense outbreak of somatic symptoms. It was so severe that I feel I needed to be hospitalized and placed on oxygen. Over the next 3 years, I worked with two postmodern Lacanian psychoanalysis PhDs who graduated in France. During that time, I did self-analysis and reading every day. I came to believe that everything was projected by language and symbols. As my symptoms calmed down, with companionship and increasing knowledge, I felt that I was making progress. But I also knew clearly that the core of my somatic episodes had not decreased in the slightest. When an episode happened, its intensity was exactly the same as it was three years ago. Later, half-jokingly, I contacted a Chinese Taoist priest and asked: “No matter how I look at it, nothing helps—could I be cursed or something? Hahaha.” He said he would take a look, and then told me: “You have Gong Tou on you, you have Bing Ma (spirit soldiers) on you, and there is an animal demon in your home.” I didn’t believe him, so I continued working with my postmodern psychoanalysts for another year. In the end, what I was facing drove me to the point of collapsing and I wanted to suicide. I happened to have a large sum of money in my hands, so I said: “I can’t spend it all anyway—just remove whatever ‘evil technique’ you say is there.” So he did. During the ritual, I still believed that the “evil technique” and “spiritual entities” he described didn’t exist at all. After it ended, I played around for a while and then went to sleep. The next day, when I woke up, I knew I‘m cured. And the psychoanalysis to cope with my somatic symptoms, which I had been doing for three full years, has stopped completely. My life has changed from 24h severe somatization、Vision distorted、triggers through music texts and sights to normal living. After that, through spending time with this Taoist, I learned a lot about the worldview they had. They believe that people come into the world through reincarnation. The purpose of life is awakening—cultivating oneself to truly become “Immortal.” Only by learning the magic teachings, with the help of gods/immortals, can one become an yin spirit after death, then cultivate into a shigong (master/ritual elder), and finally become a god. My original somatic symptoms have now completely disappeared. But what I experienced conflicts with what I learned on Actualized.org. How do Leo and you guys understand the idea that Taoist magic can directly affect reality? The Magic paper is for recovery，protection，luck，and remove evil qi.

"The Social Security Administration has instructed employees newly assigned to answering phones to tell callers expressing suicidal thoughts that suicide is “one option,” raising concerns from employees and experts in the field who called the approach unorthodox" https://www.govexec.com/management/2026/02/suicide-only-one-option-social-security-staff-newly-assigned-phone-duties-raise-concerns-over-training/411429/

Massie said on twitter that the person was Sultan Ahmed Bin Sulayem (who has since resigned): https://bsky.app/profile/gtconway.bsky.social/post/3mejvheyvtc2g Massie then basically said, "If you find me dead, it wasn't by suicide": https://bsky.app/profile/alexip718.com/post/3mernbw3q4c2k Massie knows he just revealed some major shit and that his head is now on the chopping block. I wonder what will happen. In Russia, Massie would be a victim in a plane crash, fall off of a balcony, or die mysteriously of poison.

I am out with friends and I listen to what's going on in their lives. One of them tells me about his conflict with his colleague, a bitter series of disappointment, arguments and fights. He's clearly shaken by it. There's another friend, she talks about mental health and that's she's grateful to currently be at least "halfway stable." Her voice is quite shaky and very quiet while she's says that. As if she doesn't believe in that stability herself. They both seem to suffer tremendously, and even when I doing fine now, I know how that feels like. I listen to them and I can't get it out of my head: this is all consciousness, or God or whatever name you give it, doing it to itself. The more aware I become, the more it seems to me that this whole reality is just a show, a drama for entertainment purposes. Problems created to have a task in dealing with them. It could all be changed in an instant. Every misunderstanding, every conflict, every suffering. From direct experiences, I know I'm talking to the person - or persona - in front of me, but I also know that I am communicating with something transpersonal. I know it's capable of immediately role-switching. I have experienced it many times. All the conflicts, all the problems could be solved instantaneously. So why stay in it? Is this really how "it" wants to spent eternity? Is that the best it CAN do? Is it what it really WANTS to do? Personally, I feel more and more tired from these dramas. From time to time, I see the creation of drama, the process of unfolding of the storyline in a person's eyes. He or she is talking, and I am aware that the person is just making shit up to create some story arc. And I see the person looking back at me, and I know that he/she knows that I know. Often, I get caught up in my own stories, my own role, my own character. But the more I have these moments of "knowing", the more I wonder about it. And it's very strange because I still feel empathy. I know it BS, I know it's fabricated, and I still care. I see the people in front of me and I think: They are having a really unpleasant experience. And I wonder: does it really have to be this way? Sometimes, I love watching a series. The series starts great, I get interested in the story, in the characters. Then a little drama gets added and I'm engaged. For a while. And then I lose interest. Because almost inevitably, the same thing happens over and over again: to keep tensions high, the drama must steadily increase. You know what I mean. "Woman is pregnant from lover who accidentally killed her husband without knowing while step-brother from the past appears and starts to uncover an evil plan to destroy the world while having an affair with the GF of his best friend...." ....yeah this kind of drama. So is this really how it wants to experience life? Trump, and war, and rape, and famine, and hunger. And if there is no existential crisis going on, ok no problem we make our own mental problems. Depression, burn out, ADHD, suicide, etc etc. And you can't tell me that "we need to raise consciousness". It could be done, all drama ceased, right now, instantly. It's a choice. I recently had one of this role switching moments with a friend. I asked him about reality, and he replied, quite unexpectedly, "you will always wake up in some story" When a series boils over with drama, I just stop watching it. But where else to go with my awareness than the reality around me? What is it that "it " is actually distracting itself from? And if it wants to distract itself, is this really the way it wants to go about it? THIS IS REALLY IT? So what is left to do? I focus on myself and my (non) reactions as best as I can. And keep wondering: when is enough drama really enough?