Search the Community

Intro #3 (main part of above quote used in intro one time only): It is clear to me that the heart is an opening to alternate dimensions and timelines of possible being. It is not mere illusion nor is it mere coincidence that man’s best inventions come from his intuition, nor should it be considered a peculiarity that it is a window to the deepest truths of the universe and that this window and seed to his eternal life, is his heart. It is from this place of truth that I speak and it writes into me, turning what was painful ice into a diamond of light. I experienced a moment where I was revealed the truth of an aspect alternate being, in light of my attempts to align as I have suggested in the previous two introductions, my being has shown me the force of nature that had been reckoned upon us all that being the power of the heart to reveal to us alternate lives. Because of the pressure that I placed on the heart, the universes intuitive self through the heart showed me in a flash of a split second what alternate lives I could have had if my heart were properly nurtured and grown compared to its opposite and therefore worse than my present predicament. It reveals to me a necessary awakening of latent empathy across the hairs for all humans, and it is to understanding that we can feel confident to share this empathy with others. It has been such that where I have not understood a situation, I have like most humans do, refrained from using my empathy, outside of course using it when I have believed by best approximation understanding was there and have used it for both the means that have served positive and negative ends, for the latter, whether I have been unwise or wise in this expression relative to my present development, a desire for some good regardless. It is clear then, that we’re not merely talking about the healthy functioning of being when we refer to the strength of the signal and connection between the heart and the brain as well as unto the heart itself and everything within it. We are also through this, turning a key in the lock of consciousness, allowing us to purview into its greater secrets and more, build a bridge to them and what insight the universe wants to send through that bridge back to us. Given the infancy of this endeavour, I am undoubtedly only at the cusp of this potential, the use of the word potential here being so frail right now compared to what will inevitably unfold beyond the imagination of a hurricane of continuous insight that I am at present due to my inexperience limited at seeing and describing. The world is a hidden bliss, and it lives nessled beneath the covering of our hearts that hides us from the beauties of reality. Session: A fitting song for the dread and everything else accompanying, including, what now lives beyond it. No more black arrows can sting me, everything falls away into the unseen as it truly was to the truth of the heart. All abrasions, injuries through the delusions of the mind for which the heart cannot entertain when in full motion. This of course, goes against the negative conditioning forces of the world. The pain my mother tried to inflict. The pain my father tried to inflict. The pain my siblings tried to inflict. The pain my teachers tried to inflict. And too, the pain I tried to inflict. We all relied on the lack of wholeness in one another’s hearts in order for penetrations into our minds propensity towards delusions to be successful. We rely on so much of our weak defenses in one another’s hearts to make our weapons against the many weaknesses of the mind come into effect that without a weakened heart those attacks on the mind all things being equal would be rendered useless. The mind is an inaccurate organ with many weaknesses more than its strengths, something that has evolved after the further evolution of the heart. To any awakening of the word then, it does not come from general knowledge alone but of the knowledge on how to make the heart whole so that the mind is free from its burdens. I am right now in this moment provided with the extremely vivid picturing of my 8th grade geography teacher. I felt his authoritarian tone underneath his breath and I can be sure that such a tone had left a negative mark on me by this time as it was often met with quiet fear and shame underneath the surface as if I were attempting to have a conversation with my father that would never last longer than his desire for comfort and dictatorial authoritarianism designed to subtly belittle, mock, be dismissive or if there was anything positive, to be solely an unrelenting ear to his unempathic wise. I do not hate my father, I see him for the elderly man he is for both his strengths and weaknesses, but I speak from the impressions that he left on his son at a young age, this is the fortitude of these writings here, to speak purely from the truth of the expression as it arises. As I see my geography teachers face now I project my father onto him and I feel the same sense of fear and shame that I had then right now. I sit through the emotions and feel them whole non judgementally. Holding stern to the wise of allowing the heart to learn what it needs to learn completely from the experience.

Blue Indians will still be less happy because their minds are distorted by dogma, ideology, nationalism, moralization, judgment, etc. It's not just a function of having material resources. The Blue mind is swimming in falsehood and self-deception. Then again, conformity and dogma can yield a sort of bliss of ignorance. At least for a time. There is a sort of happiness you can have by being a Nazi, a terrorist, or a religious fanatic who is fully committed to his depraved mission. Happiness is a very individualized thing. Don't generalize about it too much. There can be huge variability in happiness within any group of people regardless of their development level or even spiritual work. You can have a terrorist who is happier than a Buddhist monk. You can't just assume someone is happy because they fit into some group or category.

"Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." It seems as though, there is something to be said about this. Our society is built in such an unusual way. A way that allows those with very little compassion and insight, to be the facilitators of change. That change, often leading and driven by a very limited type of selfishness. And for those that have some type of passion to create a society that would allow more equality of abundance, seem to often acquiesce to the pressures that these facilitators demand of them. In this manner, the devil is quite persuasive. Not to bring up Jesus again, but he too had that very choice of being corrupted like this and chose not to. As did the Buddha! That is the choice, I trust you all make as well if you ever arrive in such a position. Conscious folks make wealth only to meet their need, not their greed. But, when it comes to selling our soul, we have to make the utmost effort not to concede to a lower consciousness, if ever given the choice. For some mystics, it seems rather admirable that they did not even touch money at all. While, this is of course, is not necessary for anyone to obtain a higher consciousness, they did so— as an example of the value and bliss of God over anything material.

I had a non-dual experience in 2012, as a result of a Kundalini Awakening, which itself was helped along by Tantric Union with a goddess. That part is probably less important to this community, I wanted to write about the experience of non-duality itself. There are many ways to reach this state of being, Kundalini Awakening is one of them. If the serpent pierces through the Crown Chakra with sufficient force, the veil of Maya is pierced, the egg of Brahma is broken (this happens with an audible cracking sound), the "yolk" (Soma or Amrita) is released, which then suffuses the body, as a result, the soul exits the body through the Brahmarendra at the top back part of the head and an experience of non-duality can be had. This is usually referred to as union with Brahman, or Union with God, the ultimate goal of most Yogic, Tantric and non-dual systems. Then, as the soul and thus consciousness, exits the body, it finds itself in a spaceless, timeless, dimensionless void. The soul (Jiva) then realizes it is alone and it is indeed the whole universe. It then starts to expand, until it becomes universal, encompassing the whole cosmos and becoming the over-soul of the entirety of existence. It becomes boundless, omniscient and all-pervading. I cannot say, whether in this state, the Jiva is truly alone, or that it is alone in its own universe and there are many others parallel to it, where souls exist in a similar universal state, creating their own boundless universe, in essence. I tend towards the latter scenario, but I haven't seen anyone else mention it. In any case, in this non-dual state there is pure bliss and joy, freedom and a pure white light which suffuses the entire universe inhabited by the Jiva, which at that point is one with Brahman. The realisation of oneness with all becomes a certainty at this point. Whilst still in the body, flashes of realisation, about the ultimate truth of existence start entering the body, when the Mouth of Heaven, above the Brahmarendra is opened by the serpent piercing through the veil of Maya. This enters the body as light energy, which contains information about the ultimate truth, in fact the liquid light entering the body in this state (enlightenment) is in itself the carrier of the information about Truth (Sat-Chit-Ananda), the bliss and joy felt is almost unbearable. Interestingly, science has now confirmed, that the fifth state of matter, hitherto unknown to science, is made of coherent photons in a liquid state, carrying information, for instance about the quantum state of particles. However, once the Jiva exits the body, the ecstasy, joy, bliss and knowledge received grows exponentially, along with the expansion of the boundaries of the soul, to encompass the whole universe, becoming truly boundless, with no beginning and no end. In this state, nothing is unknown, nothing is unseen by the Self or hidden from it. In non-dualistic infinity, only the Self exists, it is alone in the universe and it is all. There is no happiness, joy or bliss on earth that can compare to the ecstasy of existing in this universal state. Truly, everything one has ever experienced will pale in comparison. Just pure love and surety about the order and nature of things. Some Jivas never return and stay in this state forever, becoming merged with the Brahman (Mahasamadhi), whereas some choose to return from this state for various reasons, either because they have unfinished business on earth or they decide to spread the word to others. This experience of union with Brahman and becoming universal and boundless, temporarily, but then returning to the body, is known as Nirvikalpa Samadhi. The coming back is always the hard part and getting used to living in a limited, constrained physical body is even harder. It is like being shut into a prison of flesh and blood. Only a fraction of the Infinity of knowledge can be brought back into the limited human body, but even that is usually considerably more than was available to the Jiva before. Much more can be written about this subject, but that should suffice for now, my aim is to provide a personal account of Nirvikalpa Samadhi and answer any questions that might arise.

Your truth is your truth, and its beautiful, always, and deserves the understanding and validation it needs until you're ready to move on and continue your journey of learning. But what I'm learning is that we should try not to make our truth somebody else truth, because we think we know them. That's why I believe people in this world are so angry, tired, aggravated, defensive, and mean. People are tired of other people deciding what's true, right and wrong, for someone else. So then they do it to others to get back at them, and get the energy out of themselves, but then they become the new perceived mean ones, rather than victims of this, and then its a new cycle. I can already see so much joy and bliss from just giving people space and allowing them to think for themselves, decide for themselves, figure out for themselves what works, and allowing that for each other in a respectful manner : ) "You're doing it wrong" - God ; )

Perhaps keep in mind that all existential questions ultimately aren't real questions, but veiled declarations. For example: Why is there something rather than nothing? The question essentially assumes there is a real difference between something and nothing. "Your experience" is reality as it is, appearing as it isn't. Endlessly pondering these questions is not what actually answers them. Even meditation itself can be mere bliss-consumption and not conducive to answers. Keep staying where the rubber meets the road, once you find that -- perhaps via meditation, then investigation (or noting) meditation, then inquiry into what you know absolutely for sure / how you might actually not know what you thought you knew for sure. Any awakening that happened in the past, and isn't here now, can be said to be incomplete. Let's define "an awakening" just to be sure what we mean here. An awakening = an irreversible shift in perception, on the level of identity (what you take yourself to be). The true nature of your self, and the cosmos, is exactly synonymous.

I have not thought of it as a permanent enlightenment at all, but rather as an interesting state of bliss. It was magical, I want to be back there again

I agree, it was just a bliss

I felt joy without any reason for about an hour today. I had these joy moments before, but it was rear and did not last long. This feeling is familiar to me. Joy of being without this monkey mind that determines, separates, and judges all the time. I have recognized recently that there is no separation truly, and every time mind wanted to make any assumption, I stopped it there. My main practice was in keeping awareness on itself all the time. I am constantly observing thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, but I do not get involved. This is my meditation, LOL. This state has become so natural to me that now I feel like my body does things on its own, I actually am observing my body in motion and various processes, and I do not make any volition, it does things on its own. Guys, this is the craziest thing I’ve ever experienced: mind is always late, first body does something, then comes the registration of the fact, post factum. As I cook dinner even right now, I do not register “Oh, I need to reduce the heat of my boiling water” Body goes to the kitchen, and as I get up from the chair, registration of the fact happens afterwards. There is literally no “doer”. Thought is always late. First motion. Also, I have this love and compassion toward "other". My sexuality is on the rise, even a coffee table seems sexy to me. But even this feeling is a bit heavy compared to the bliss I have experienced. This feeling of blissfulness comes sporadically, does not last long. I am just happy because I am conscious. The closest description would be pleasure, orgasm, deliciousness, peace, joy and unconditional love toward Being. Guys, I used a lot of “I”, please do not be judgmental here, I realize that awareness does not have any individualized quality, but I am using this “I” for a purpose of understanding. I can not pin point this “I” anymore, everything became like a big movie on the screen and is seen now holistically.

Everything feels perfect. There is no resistance, however things can feel annoying, boring, etc, but there is no resistance to it and it doesn't feel like a problem so it still feels perfect. A very stable happiness, and lots of joy and bliss. Less fear. My relationships are good, no problems. I have more interest in living, being a human, I am life, I am light, I want to live and follow my true purpose which comes from the soul, sometimes it feels blissful to say something, to touch things, to walk or sit down, normal everyday things like that are amazing. Following my intuition is the most important thing.

If this moment is all there is, how could you be missing something? And if you were in bliss would that question arise? Probably not. Usually these sort of questions come up because there are an uncomfortable feeling in the body (contraction) and conditioning to move to change that feeling to something that feels better. So instead of finding an answer to the question you question it and then you feel your body to identify the contraction which is causing the discomfort. Then you focus in on the feeling. Usually that feeling will start to dissolve and when it has dissolved completely the question has disappeared. What's left is peace.

If you're on that level where consuming shorts/reels/tiktoks for you is a form of growth(as in coping, or distracting yourself to a point where you reach a low point and finally decide to grow.), it can be helpful. You wouldn't be watching the shorts if there was no part of you that wanted to satisfy that craving. For self-actualization, you wouldn't be interested in it unless it was some form of burning karma. It's not really 'bad' for you in terms of growth, it's just a step of the way. It seems like a downhill road but for someone who needs that suffering to grow, it's necessary. It will suck you in, even if you consider yourself up there on the spiritual path. Why? Because there is something you need to learn, something you are still ignorant about in yourself that you need to fix, that's why you get easily addicted to it. After burning that karma, learning that lesson, you won't WANT to watch more than one, you wouldn't want to scroll because it just wouldn't be interesting. There is no need to restrain yourself then. What it is bad for is achieving success, maintaining health, relationships, and stuff like that. You could argue it's bad for practicing embodiment of spiritual truths, but that is something you achieve further along the path. The reason you don't watch tiktoks/shorts/reels when you embody bliss/god/love is not because you restrain yourself but because you don't have that craving in you.

You know, I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? [Takes a bite of steak] Ignorance is bliss.

Future #1 - The good future This is a possible future 5 years from now if I do the following things: limit instant gratification to 2 hours a day go to the library every workday enroll in therapy and do some active imagination/inquiry by myself continue doing sports practice meditation and contemplate which will bring about higher consciousness, compassion, wisdom and Love in my life make social connections happen I have a degree in psychology and am a certified body psychotherapist / yoga teacher. I am in the best shape of my life, extremely happy in my body, strong, supple, healthy, full of energy and vibrant. I am financially independent. I have mastered my emotions and thus have no blockages from experiencing life in its fullness. I have become my own best friend instead of an enemy - thinking of myself and caring of myself with the purest love I have yet to experience. All trauma has been integrated, allowing me to express myself to the core. This profound radiant change has attracted love in my life in so many ways - I now have a loving partner I couldn't even dream of having 5 years ago. My friends are the some of the most remarkable people I know to have walked this Earth. I am extremely proud of each and every one of them and thank God every day for having them in my life. They are proud to be my friend as well and find my presence inspiring. Every day is an adventure and a step forward to complete realisation and actualisation. Due to the immense beauty of this actualised abundance, there is no obstruction to realising deeper and deeper insights on the nature of reality. There is no obstruction to the flow of my love. I am finally in a place where I can offer my numerous gifts to the world. I am finally in a place where I can fill the cup of those in such dire need. I am filled with such a profound sense of awe, gratitude and bliss each and every day for experiencing this kind of life, making any and every endeavour effortless. I have exited the Dark Night (Vipashyana jñanas) a couple of years ago and look at 5 years ago with a sense of compassion, gratitude and relief. Future #2 - the bad future This is a future 5 years from now if I do the following things: indulge in unlimited instant gratification avoid schoolwork neglect the cultivation of thumos neglect the cultivation of other virtues neglect spiritual practice avoid deep emotional work that will perpetuate the bad habits and patterns in my life that will make me miserable eat shit food, overeat neglect training isolate myself, do not share myself with the world, do not put myself out there In this future, I would be fucked. I would be super unhappy. I didn't even finish university due to it being emotionally too hard - not because I didn't have the skills to do it, but because I did not put effort in good habits that would make me pass and also things that would let me get over the inner blockages (eg therapy). This future is too shit for me to even contemplate it. I am overweight, making it way more difficult to move and making me have less energy and feel bitter, resentful and angry. People disrespect me because of my apparent unhappiness. I miss opportunities left and right. I am single and have unsatisfactory friendships. I'm so disconnected from Beauty and Love and Consciousness that I'm probably having thoughts of suicide on a daily basis. First try, I was disgusted about the second future which definitely lit a fire under my ass to make the first future a reality. I will expand on this prompt as I see it can be very transformative, I am tired to do more now.

@Gabith I also had such beautiful experiences with K, I looked at my friend and could see her pure soul, seeing beyond the ego. I think ketamine dissolves all the samskaras/ blockages of the body and we can feel our true nature, it relaxes the body, the substance doesn't provide us with love and bliss, we are love and bliss, our traumas and stuff that are on the way to experiencing this state in our sober reality. On the other side and given that I did K only around 25 times, I developed sinus problems and till to this day never fully recovered. I believe there are way better substances to work with.

Thanks for the reply 1) My bladder is really fucked, its healing and recovering as I type (been over 3 months since I did ketamine), also it screws cognitive ability after a certain point, chess score drops by 20-30% after an inflection point of consuming has been reached. I definately pushed the boat here, but alot of my friends since uni have had to go to hospitals etc and have their bladders stretched or partially removed. There is a danger with ketamine, it can be used an escapism from life and suffering, and get pretty addictive. This is via snorting, and is an extreme. I was always careful 3-4g per week, where my friends would do this everyday 2) Interesting shizen young I dont regard highly, Ingrams book is okay for a specific type of meditaiton which you mention. Both these though don't represent the fullness or joyness of meditation. After two vipassana retreats which are no fun at alll, I switched and learnt shamatha or Jhana practise as taught by people like Ajahn Brahm, they have a complete over take on meditaiton. I achieved the first Jhana in meditaiton retreat, and its indescribable, its stronger in my experience then any psychedelic's I tried, and more pure and wholesome. Close your eyes, and imagine letting go of everything in the universe apart from your breathe, joy and happiness arise, and when you get proficient, the strangest thing occurs, in your visual feild (with eyes closed) the purest brightest white light/disc appears, and with it comes a release, kinda like being unbinded, and the joy and happiness and contentment it brings become unlmited, and you can actually absorb into this bright white light. The whole fo reality dissapears, sense of self etc and your just immersed in this pure bright light, but drenched in pure joy and happiness. This is the 1st Jhana, many mons describe it as what people assume heaven to be, and theres 8 of these things. This Jhana is completely indesriable, it literally puts you in the best mood you could possibly be in. Furthermore to even get into this Jhana, you have had to orchesrate your life to be more and more selfless and joyful, so its like the most wholesome pursuit possible Monks like Ajahn Brahm describe God as Peace or Love, he wrote Mindfulness and bliss, and then the Art of dissapearing, both are worth reading. Id be super cautious of learning buddhism through this guys like shinzen or daniel, Whenever i come out of a period of ketamine, my motivation for meditaiton is 10x What I would love is for you to train and obtain all 8 Jhanas full absorption and then tell me how it compares to your experience with psychedelic's.

By the way, if you're just doing "concentration" (stillness; happiness; blissfulness; steadiness; samadhi; jhana) meditation to get into those wonderful expanded states, stillness, and jhanas... you can do that all day for months, or even an hour a day for years (or even a whole 10 day retreat of 18 hours a day), and still never reach jhana... or if you do reach jhana you might only develop the ability to feel insanely good -- on demand maybe, if you're really skilled... But concentration meditation will never ever lead to awakening. If you're not investigating experience, you might not get much insight. If you're having a difficult time reaching jhana (the inflection point where meditation becomes preposterously fun and blissful), perhaps try noting -- Mahasi method or just noting experience (preferably aloud, once per second, for a full hour at first -- this can blast you right through a plateau like nothing else) by using the 4 foundations of mindfulness... I like Kenneth Folk's guide to noting more than any other. The insight stages (mind and body, arising and passing away, dissolution, dark night, equanimity, etc) are indeed real, and when you're able to clearly move up and down that ladder (you actually feel it and can clearly identify the stages/states), jhanas become far easier, as you'll find specific jhanas correlate to specific nanas (insight territories). Check out these links: https://kennethfolkdharma.com/quick-start-guide/ http://insanebraintrain.blogspot.com/2013/10/meditation-practice-journals-from-old.html "Every time you discover the "problem" with your meditation, note your reaction to that thought. Note the thought itself. Note once per second, aloud, for the duration of your sitting. Note catastrophizing, dramatizing, histrionics, self-pity, evaluation thoughts, impatience, despair, self-loathing, joy, triumph, scenario spinning, longing, desire for deliverance, irritation, doubt, bliss, absorption, distraction, fear, anger, rage, disgust, euphoria, hope, contentment, anticipation, softness, hardness, coolness, warmth, pulsing, burning, itching, throbbing, stinging, tingling, hearing, seeing, tasting, smelling, pleasant, unpleasant, neutral, petulance, futility, dullness, fatigue; what have I left out? Of course you would like some kind of a shortcut or a tip. There is no such thing. There is only the mastery of this simple technique. By the time you master this technique, you will be an arahat. If you distract yourself from this technique by trying to tweak the recipe, the warrantee is void." Kenneth Folk ^^^ Quote is not from the links provided, I had it saved. The thing is, noting is very hard to start with and get the hang of, but fairly soon it's impossible to deny its power. So don't get caught up in pure concentration, the noting/investigation will help the concentration practice tremendously. If you think you can investigate effectively without noting, or simply can't believe it works, just try it. There are people who have tried to just get into 1st jhana, for an entire year of intensive meditation, without success... and after a week of noting they get to jhana literally on accident. When you get the hang of noting to the point where it happens automatically temporarily after a sit, you might find yourself avoiding noting, not because it's so hard (it'll be easier at this point), but because the territory it leads to is SO far out and unfamiliar and it's changing your perception so quickly. In my experience, noting is even far more conducive to kundalini explosions than even TMI/TM/TWIM/samadhi/etc... but especially more conducive to awakening, if not necessary for certain kinds of awakening. If you're like me, you'll go through a period of avoiding noting... because it's very easy to delay your awakening by simply avoiding the hard (especially until you get the hang of it) work of noting. Edit: This woman was not getting much progress until she started noting. Lots of concentration practice (left work to meditate many hours a day) but she didn't start popping off until she tried noting. She didn't see the logic behind how noting could possibly work to awaken into truth and end suffering, but this was her last option, and so she took a leap of faith and was pleasantly surprised. She's a physician, and the side effects of doing real noting for a couple hours a day were so intense she self-diagnosed them as simple partial seizures (clearly it was kundalini energy). She starts talking about it around minute 19...

I will try to explain my idea as clearly as possible. I've been wondering for some time now if it's possible that a map of reality exists. By that I mean a tool of some sort (written, video, something else ?) that can be used at any stage of the spiritual path by anybody to locate exactly "where" or "what" he currently is in the infinite and speed up one's enlightenment process. It would be like pressing the fast forward button. By enlightenment here I mean not only realise that you are god, but also get the whole workings of things so that you can direct yourself to experience exactly what you want to experience. Please tell me if you think I'm wrong. I totally get that wanting to experience something in particular is an ego thing, but the whole point of seeking enlightenment is an ego thing, so even if there is no such desire "after" enlightenment the point and the result are the same. So, back to the idea, I've been yo-yoing with it. For me true infinity also means anything is possible, so a map would make no sense if from one given point (your now or mine, with all it's content) anything is possible and every possible reality can join. HOWEVER, in actuality even if I believe reality is infinity, I experience it from one standpoint at a time, so it makes sense there is a path anyway, even if the path is "meant" to lead to the whole outside of itself. Hell, actually from my standpoint, finding this map "outside" (as opposite to simply meditate it out of myself) would feel like bliss, infinite love and thus enlightenment itself. I say finding because for me it also makes sense that anything possible already exists in a way and all we do is get to it. Or the present shape shifts into it depending on where one puts his attention. And yeah, I'm aware that posting this message with hope to dig such a map into actuallity is not really different than meditating to find it more "by myself", but I just had to post it anyway. That's exciting, and that feels true.

@thisintegrated and now you know why people become monks and ascetics. Consider becoming on and just sitting in pure bliss for the rest of your life.

Make a decision that you'd rather feel this, than (binge eat / whatever pattern you're trying to break) and the negativity that follows that. Knowing that if you choose to feel it fully, it will get resolved, but if you escape it, you'll never be free. Also being aware that whatever you're feeling, is there for a reason: it needs to be felt. Your subconscious needs you to pay attention to this and fully feel it. If you do not, it will just keep coming back stronger. I mean, "often", or "on a daily basis" is good to shoot for. Always is aiming very high, and I personally believe it would get perfectly boring. As long as we're alive, we'll occasionally invent things to feel negative about and want to change. It keeps life interesting. Though I can relate to wanting to always feel serene after a rough period, it's a perfectly natural desire. I don't know if you include shadow work and emotional healing work in your definition of consciousness work, but they're important. I see two categories: Work to make the ego healthy. Includes shadow work, inner child work, trauma release, different forms of therapy. Work to transcend the ego. Meditation, yoga, enlightenment work, psychedelics. I believe both categories are needed to experience the aforementioned state on a daily basis, feeling serenity and inner peace, bliss, and joy. Transcending an unhealthy ego creates very unbalanced humans. Think of the neo-advaita type that always wants to point out that "there is no I" and that's an answer to all your problems, and is kind of an unempathetic asshole about it. Just doing shadow work and healing can also be a trap, because there's always more to heal, you're never completely done. And so people who are too much on that side are always busy healing, their heads up their own ass so to speak, and never get ready to actually live their lives. But both are important.

Are you sure your ready for ego death and the ego backlash that will follow? Yes God is Love and bliss but also this could shatter and recontexualize all of reality for you so be prepared.

I sometimes feel loneliness too. I once heard Abraham Hicks say that feelings such as loneliness aren't caused by who is or isn't around you, but are all about you thinking thoughts that are out of allignment with your natural vibration. I couldn't hear it at that time too well, but a little later I found I could move myself from rather deep feeling of loneliness to bliss in a minute of 5/10, and such experiences changed how I relate to feelings such as loneliness. Whenever I feel lonely now, I remember to relax and know that the only thing I really got to do, is to guide myself to well-being again with my thought or awareness, or however I feel to do it. Of course, that doesn't diminish the satisfaction we can get from deeper relationships, but if you don't currently have them, perhaps the best thing is to know that guiding yourself to well-being/allignment, is what the work is all about, and perhaps all we really need to do. At the other hand, maybe some sense of (human) connection is necessary, but I doubt that's the problem here.

Disclaimer: there is no other, so everything I will describe here will be used as a mere representation of polarities at play. Everything that you see in other is nothing more than a projection of your own mind. There is only one thing that exists, and it lies within “your” current direct experience. You are hunting pleasures all your life, and sex is the most desirable one. Goose bumps, short of breath, pumping heart, butterflies in your stomach when anticipating sexual intercourse with the other, blood rushes though your veins. But what is sex really? Is it just a genital pleasure or a multidimensional divine paradise? Sex is the physical act of intimacy that can have different dimensions and goals. You can achieve so many goals through sex, and pleasure is just one little facet of it: healing, success, ascension, energetical charging, talent expansion and profound insights about feminine and masculine nature. Dimensions of sex can be physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and energetical. Unfortunately, many of us only utilize couple of sexual dimensions during the whole entire life course. Spiritual aspects of sex are unknown to mediocre people. Perceptions can have different doors, sexual intercourse with a soulmate is your door and way to the Absolute/Pure Consciousness. Energy can play out itself as an appearance of masculine or feminine. It is one energy that carries different polarities. By contrasting and playing with polarities, the infinite potential deepens its Being. The most important condition that leads to insights and revelations is when you meet yourself in the another being. When your inner self embodies in opposite outer polarity, it closes the infinite loop, and leads to profound God realization. Ascension happens when you penetrate your outer self (partner) and realize that you have never been separated, and actually is One experience (Being/Reality). In the moment of pleasure, you are losing yourself to Divinity, to a point where you can’t define the borderline of your and partner’s body. You literally merge, dissolve, and melt into each other, this is Souls’ Ecstasy. Time slows down and you get so much pleasure that you are tittering on the edge of abys, you are about to lose your egoic illusory self. Every part of your body is in sync with partner’s one. Sex becomes an effortless tireless dance of naked bodies that move rhythmically toward each other, and only drops of sweat on the face bring you back to reality. The most erotic moment happens when you can unceremoniously throw everything off, not only clothes, but your ugliest parts into the love’s face and elate by being exposed. At this moment you become weightless. Healing happens when you build trust and integrity. This level of intimacy requires tremendous courage on both sides, a pretty high level of awareness. Can you imagine being a masculine guy and disclose all your complexes and fears to the woman you love? What if you appear as a loser, unattractive “little” person, who pretends to have so much confidence, when in reality, you are just a child with bunch of wounds and preconceived notions. But what if you go that far and receive acceptance, and when intimacy deepens with time, you will gain the whole appreciation of your most absurd, awkward traits in your woman’s eyes. Soul orgasm happens. It is important to understand that sex is a pure projection of your mind, plus it works on a hormonal level as well. You are constantly co-creating your partner, sex is not in your genitals, it is in your head. Sexual energy is very powerful. Usually, man gives, woman takes in sex. After sex man keep utilizing feminine resources because they are bound energetically. It comes hand in hand with masculine success, when feminine and masculine energies have a proper balance and exchange, they can create wonders for both genders. Man takes sexual energy to go to conquer, woman retains and preserves to keep the survival at stakes. However, why so many of us live in relationships that are far from perfect. Improper balance of polarities and willingness to compromise your deepest desires just to be with someone and never experience loneliness. You chose a wrong partner, consciously or unconsciously. Doors to divine sex are within the realization that to develop, keep and evolve your sexual intimacy off the charts you must meet certain condition. And this condition is your own Self. This is what you long the most, to find and drown in yourself with the help of the opposite gender. You want to splice inner and outer, and to die in this union. You, as man, all your life, desperately looking and waiting for your “inner woman” to be manifested in the outer woman you meet and recognize in the crowd. The greatest pleasure of all when in sex is to observe these two women making love to each other. You can fuck hundreds of women, and never experience the bliss of fuse with your inner Self, when you actually disappear as an idea and become everything. Sex starts with connection, prior to any physical activity. Mental dimension of sex is to get pleasure by sharing and being understood, by saying and actually be heard, by being accepted and forgiven, by being trusted and get totally naked, absolutely vulnerable. And the cherry on top when you see yourself in your partner. You understand his motivations and fears because you are alike, one enclosed in two separate bodies. Your inner woman breathes through her body, and her inner man moves through yours. This element of recognition allows partners to achieve the greatest orgasm, on all levels. Because your soul and body elate from just one thought that you can be loved unconditionally, and when loved like this you are invincible. Your masculinity thrives and wins all the bottles, it expands, and it wants to give. No clitoris/vaginal/g-spot orgasm can be compared to the one that happens between two souls that are alike. You can have a set of pretty boobs, beautiful pussy, face, and figure, but her fundamental difference will push you off, you’ll never be satisfied. Sex will suck your energy because your woman wouldn’t give nor her full heart, neither her pussy, she won’t reflect you. But when you do have soul consonance with her, she is always wet and you are erected, because you cannot get enough of each other: mentally, physically, and emotionally. That’s what true sexuality is: when masculine closes feminine nature. It is unbreakable, it does not know any time, other people, or obstacles. You are always hungry for each other, simple things turn you on, even despite distance, discord, or silence. Sex is always there, and this intimacy takes different shapes and forms. In bed it is in variety in positions, in mundane life is in insights when you interact with each other. This intimacy is sacral because it carries knowledge, expansion, and bliss. And the more ego you dissolve, the further you penetrate your woman: through your penis, heart, actions, and love. All the masks are taken, you are totally naked, in this merge and splice you’ve become One. There is no other, has never been, and never will be: transparent, naked, sexual Being.

There is nothing disturbing in the video. You are disturbed because you are taking snippets out of context and misinterpreting what he means. You are getting triggered by certain words, in essence. What he is saying is what anyone who is enlightened knows. First there is a self, a center, then there is a localized expanded self (i.e. a bubble), then there's a fully expanded self infinitely radiating outward, then there is bliss or God consciousness...and the last step is the cessation of any strand of self. So think about the logic of the process of becoming awakened: gradual expansion of self until all sense of self is lost and merges into a field of awareness. At that point, you can perform a test: look at something, like your phone, e.g. and mentally ask "who is the subject and which is the object?" The feeling that returns is that there isn't a subject or object, there is only one field of awareness. So stop getting triggered by words people use. Words have different meanings in different contexts. Stop subjectively assigning the scariest possible meanings to them.

Had an unexpected experience while walking the dog. Let me try to put it into words: I was there. It was me and now, and I was consciousness. There was no division in my experience. My sense of self disappeared and yet I was there. Before the event, there was radical openness. I was simply "holding" the question of my nature in no particular form. There was also an unprecedented sense of freedom and bliss. The state of openness remained throughout the experience. It was profoundly beautiful. The aftereffect lasted for about two hours. I'm avoiding hype and misrepresentation as best as I can. Thoughts? Help me clarify what went on, if you will.