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because zero and infinity touch. total zero, absolute nothingness, is absence of limitations. this absence of limits makes nothingness be. be you, since there is only one nothing and one being. you, being, and having no limits, explode in a creative explosion in which everything that can be, is. empty infinity is full infinity. nothing is everything. absolute potential that contains all of existence. Total singularity, without opposite. nothing=everything=you this process was not once, an origin, long ago. is being now, always. the eternal source that flows from the void now. you can realize it at any time, it's what we are.

What you say is true in part. Imagine that you have done 5 meo, and the whole dream vanished, there was absolutely nothing left, and nothingness was revealed as infinity, and infinity as you, the total that it always is. the absolute, the glory. then I think: that is awakening. but that experience of infinity is something that I'm remembering right now. it is part of the current dream. It is only speculative. Right now I'm in the dream and I can't get out of it. if I meditate for two hours, it seems that the limits evaporate. but have I ever meditated or is it something I imagine now, in the dream? But in another hand, I see the dream right now, and I recognize the apparent as infinite, I recognize what seems not me as me, I recognize the dream as absolute. So, I see that to be awake is to be dreaming.

>Notes with ">" are me commenting after the fact >Also I cut out things that were just so useless that didn't add anything, Mushroom Trip Report 004 Trip Hype Music lol https://youtu.be/80qd6UJn4QI I've got a lot of fear with this one, but fear points North. Fear is just a part of myself that I have not loved and accepted yet. As all is one. See my bone writing page of December 20th, 2020. Put it here. Bone Writing: Feel the fear and do it anyway. When you're nervous for a shroom trip, that's just an indicator that your mind knows a part of it is going to die. So as a result, it introduces fear and anxiety as a self-preserving defense mechanism. Fear and anxiety is a good sign that growth is ahead. So feel the fear and do it anyway. I got to read that book. It might even help me with fear. But what will really help me transcend fear is by contemplating about it and tripping about it's nature. I need to watch Leo's videos on fear. With experience, fear is overcome. I think having more positive shroom trips at the high dosages will be beneficial. Well in Truth, they're all positive. Really positive. Well at least after I face the Dragon/ the peak. Honestly, it's like how it is with those water slides. The hardest part is getting on the slide. Likewise, the hardest part is getting on the trip, and getting past the come-up. With experience, my fear will dissipate. I trust my subconscious that anything I experience is for my best interest. I would never truly hurt myself. Therefore, I am safe. Starfish and enjoy my friend. (Scared of Mirrors) Whatever I fear, it will be overcome with more experience. Through great healing comes rapture. Fear is the gate, and a manifestation of your inner calling. Fear is what points North. You know a mirror can't hurt you, what you fear is a part of yourself that you haven't loved and accepted yet. Because it is all you. It's all one. It's all God! It's all infinite love! I give up my love to the world. And my love comes back. Whatever happens for me is for my spiritual growth. December 20th 2020 2 grams of golden teachers. Grinded the mushrooms as much as I could. Came out to many very small pieces. Soaked in lemon juice, made tea with with it, strained it with a French press. Consumed the tea on an empty stomach. Intention: Release Trauma from Bullying Taken at 4:18pm Immediately feel brain effects. 20 minutes in, feeling a slight shift in consciousness. 24 min Colours more Vivid Feeling different. Things subtly moving here and there. 25 minutes, yawning. Feeling activation in my brain. It's definitely kicking in now. 29 min Sleepy, yawning. What if shit moving is the default state of reality? >What if there is no default state? What if shit moving is the default state of reality? >What if there is no default state? 36 min Yeah I'm in for a good activation. Something is coming out of me I know I know I know 38 min Yep the come up is now. My hands are shaking, maybe from Fear. The creature is coming out. That was only the first small peak, I'm in for the greatest ride of my life, so far. Be present to get out of your head and into your life. 45min We in it. >Hahaha Maybe there isn't that much trauma there, because I've already grown. Maybe I'm not focussing on it enough. >Wasn't focusing on it enough. So much yawning. Ok Music time. (I don't even put on the music) 49min My hand is looking like an ape. 54min (Starting to do trauma Work) Crying and laughing. We in it. > So at this point I was going to town releasing trauma, laughing and crying, laughing and crying. 1h17min Shit moves. My head is Alien. Mom I don't want to look at your eyes fuck you. >My mom was being the therapist there, helping me release my trauma. Her eyes looked freaky on shrooms. 1h 41min Yeah shit is super trippy. It's like it's moving in slow motion like you're watching the matrix and it's like cutting frame by frame. Reality is like a fucking dream. (reality is really feeling like a dream at this point. Like the parts of the brain that are connected makes it feel like you're in the dream world. ) You know right now it feels like you're at the top of a roller coaster and you don't get that release of going down. You're just stuck at the top of the drop with that anxiety. But I think this is what it means to feel Fully Alive, to have your being be completely present. Okay sober me, listen. You not looking at yourself here on shrooms, is like refusing to look at your toes. You have to fully accept and embrace and love the black holes of eyes and your mother. As a consciousness being, you're always alone anyways. It was only you. 1h 54 min Reality is a complete fucking dream. I've also already released a lot of emotion. I can see how if you are tripping so hard, reality is gone. Why does God want to experience anxiety? So he can feel Fully Alive. But God is alive, is God is nothingness (beliefs). Just expressing himself. Well he's here. Reality is existing right now. Why doesn't it not? God could totally just make it that nothing exists. But I guess this is what the natural way is. It's just reality. Reality super deep. I know. 2h There's nothing but God completely filling all of your ear holes and eye holes. There's just so much God to experience. It's overwhelming. Wow. Reality do be Vivid and intense. Like I'm in it. I really in it. You're going to love an ego death. In time you will come to face all of your fears and love all of reality. Even the intense parts. The intense Parts have to be lived as well. Reality is completely a dream right now. Like I'm sleeping. The Greatest Adventure in your life is in your consciousness. Life is just Consciousness expressing itself to you. You're just dancing with yourself that in a very infinite way. Facing your fears is what makes you feel so alive. Every receptor my body is fully alive. Fear is what makes you fully alive. >If you want to feel fully alive, run towards what you fear. It feels like a dream, I feel though at the same time a strange amount of safeness, I feel so safe. Nothing can harm me, it's just all experience. Yeah you're going to fear your next trip, but that's okay. That is okay like I am, right now. It is all in your life plan to feel fear before you go on a trip. Just like how you become calm in the regular world. You will become calm in the shroom world. You'll get used to it. And you'll find it your new home. It's just another part of reality. (Talking about differences in Consciousness from person to person) The way I see reality is completely different in the way you see reality. We're like on different planets. We're experiencing our own planet. > realizing that people are fundamentally unable to be understood. Because all we know is from our projections. 3h Peak is probably gone because eyes are not appearing in my mind's eye and bleeding into reality anymore. >Hallucinations less intense. Life is just you experiencing yourself. The Greatest Adventure in life is the one in your mind. https://youtu.be/Lv-SvmaPCKI You keep running, but you're just running away from yourself. Shadow work is so easy while I'm shrooms. Even when you're crying, you still feel like your hugged. I'm finally getting the hug that I deserve. Reality is just a constant merging with "out there" and "in here". Out there in reality & in here in your mind. Out there looks freaky, but then you realize that freaky is you. Right now I'm looking at my hand. The back of my hand. >It's looking pretty freaky. Just learn to sit there and enjoy the moment, because the moment is so invigorating. Trust that you will feel FUCKING AMAZING after the trip. >Start looking forward to the positives from the trip! It's an amazing adventure! Going to a bob marley concert on shrooms would be amazing. Like going in real life, with people all around you. https://youtu.be/1A95dcLxAuA (Shrooms are) Redemption from your mind. It is true. Let love guide you, not fear. (me reflecting on the courage I had to go on this trip.) This art is stellar. I think there's a face in it behind the 2d drawings. But its hard to make out. Reality is a gift. Every state of consciousness is a gift that you're given. Even the really shitty boring states of consciousness. If you're in your fear long enough you just become comfortable with it. You just need more exposure time, giving you that exposure time allows for a merge to happen. I'm really convinced that the way I experience reality is completely fucking different than how you experience reality. I'm talking to you (anyone). Fear is just a Deeper love. (Hidden behind a Gate) Let love guide you, not fear. This is a law to myself. Reality is only boring because you've been in it for so long. Your present State of Consciousness has become so normalized is that you got bored of it, if you experience different states of Consciousness, then your normal state of consciousness will feel great. This is amazing https://youtu.be/hC8CH0Z3L54 Fear is what makes you alive. You need fear for it is a part of you. Merge with it. The way you get through trauma is by intentionally merging with it more and more. My most deepest need is to experience all of reality. I'm always trying to figure things out. Your words colour reality. (Saw this on a deeper level) Pause life and be patient. We all REALLY just need to love eachother. Reality works best when we love. Take the ego out and love. Lift everybody up in your mind to the highest. Make everyone a legend. Even if "they're not" a legend in your mind. They are. Everybody is a fucking legend. Through that, I become a legend aswell. If someone doesn't accept your love, then that's just them. They're not ready to accept your love yet. They have to face their own fears. Imagine living a life with ZERO fear, because you've merged completely with it. To do trauma work on shrooms, you just have to repeatedly get the client to merge with what they're traumatized about. Like massaging out a knot in your muscles. Doing trauma work is like massaging out a knot in your muscles. You have to apply pressure on it and kneed it for awhile. You love your friends so much that you withhold saying "I love you" because you love them so much, you're protecting their ego. You withhold saying "I love you" because they're not ready to hear it. Reality is right when you merge with fear. Merging with fear is what gives life its adventure. You are a creature looking for one love source to another love source, when you can just be the love source, and then you will always feel loved. Shrooms are really good for loosening up those dumb little clamps on reality that your mind likes to put on it via belief systems and paradigms. Beliefs about how reality SHOULD be! It breaks all that LOOSE. The reason why shroom trips are so crazy is because you've suppressed the mystery of reality for so long. Do enough shrooms and you'll have no fear. You would have merged with it all. Trust that everybody is living their best survival strategy given their life experience / their soul / their vessel. Shrooms teach us how to love. Imagine being excited for your next shroom trip instead of crying scared. (Which was this morning) Fear is just hidden love. 5h 20 min 5 hours in, my ego is clamping down with the feeling of shame. ("How dare you love all these people!") Which is why the ego can go fuck itself. Definitely sobering up a bit. On shrooms you revert back to the playful creature that you are. I have to make the end of my trips really positive so I have a positive merge with normal reality. This is something I definetly fucked up on, you are still extremely sensitive from a comedown on a trip, so if you are hit with negativity, you really feel it 7h Very much sobered up, but still very sensitive and stimulated. I have to make sure that I am kept in a positive environment until I'm completely sober, cuz I remember that leaving a bad taste in my mouth in my last trip. I was still super sensitive and I received negative input from other people that was around me, and that sucked ass. The eye is a very good metaphor for consciousness. If you look closely enough, it's just Hollow, empty. Consciousness is emptiness. Overcoming fear is the master key to life. Merging with it. When you merge with fear, you get what you want, which is you! Post Trip Report The trip has taught me to love more from a non egoic place. I've released tons of trauma relating to bullies that I've experienced in my life. I realized that they were just using me as a mood changer because they felt inadequate. I also faced a lot of my fears of the visuals that come up on shrooms. Especially my fear of looking at myself in a mirror while having distorted vision. I think I've released a lot of my fear about going on psychedelics because I've had a lot of insight into the nature of fear itself. I can only see that fear continues to be reduced through more and more experience. Which is GOOD! Another thing I've realized through several days after the trip is I cleared out a lot of energy blockages and I somehow have summoned a lot more energy in me. I also have a huge increased ability for emotional authenticity. I just allow emotions to flow through me more authentically and easily.

Here it goes, the story of my voyage from the depths of hell to meeting myself (the Absolute). A few months ago I did 400ug of LSD. At that point I had about 10-12 trips under my belt, but never going further than 200ug or 2.5g of Golden Teachers. I thought I was ready to go deeper. In hindsight, I was still very much a newbie psychonaut and extremely reckless with my set and setting. This happened in my house with friends over. There were 6 of us, 3 of us including myself took LSD but the others only took 200ug. All close friends (extremely inexperienced sitters) except a girl I didn't know well nor trusted. I was in a decent state of mind before the trip (pretty neutral), but after taking the tabs, as usual, I felt very anxious waiting for the onset. Then it came after about 20 minutes. My anxiety spiked, as it was extremely intense. The sober guys were loudly playing the PlayStation, yelling at the TV while playing Fifa and 2 of them started cooking in my kitchen. They made a mess and even managed to melt the lid of my pan on the kitchen stove. Funnily enough I was the one who noticed this while on a very challenging come up phase, already tripping balls. I saw the lid burning on the stove and asked if this was normal, as in that state I couldn't tell, yet I felt it to be wrong on some level. This was the beginning of my paranoia (no shit). I felt an overwhelming sense of impending doom, like I fucked up on a massive scale for some reason and that I was about to be punished. People still yelling at the TV, I remember thinking that all I needed was a quiet, relaxed, controlled environment to calm down and I was getting the exact opposite. So I kept getting more and more anxious until I started panicking as I couldn't handle it any longer. This is where psychosis began. I remember hearing footsteps on the building stairs, then an ambulance siren in the street, and I was convinced that the police was about to arrest us. I kept repeating "I did nothing wrong, I am a good person, why is this happening". At this point I was still far away from the peak. While coming up further, my memories get fuzzier and far in between, so I am mixing in what my friends told me happened. I remember feeling the deepest terror I've ever experienced, apparently I kept screaming the same phrase, something along the lines of "we are all one thing, there are no consequences". As I was screaming loudly and it was pretty late at night, this finally got my friends concerned and they tried talking to me, but I was totally out of it. For a brief moment I even remember getting violent, I slapped a friend while he was trying to take me from the living room to my bedroom while screaming that there are no consequences to anything. They made me lie on my bed while talking to me. I heard their voices, telling me to stop screaming and trying to reason with me. Pretty soon I closed my eyes. This is where the real show began. It could only start with my death. I reached a point of existential culmination, like every single moment that I ever experienced was in service of getting me right here, right now. I thrashed, and fought, and screamed for my life. I didn't want to face death. But it was inevitable, I couldn't control it, there was nothing I could do to stop it. And finally, I embraced it. For the first time, I truly surrendered. It was like my whole life was this amazing movie and THIS was the grand finale. So I might as well sit back and enjoy it. As you can probably tell, this was the turning point. Death turned out to be nothing like what I imagined. I jumped planes of existence. Time and space became meaningless. My friends' voices morphed into what I can only describe as voices of other entities that inhabited that particular plane of existence, one that I was just catapulted into. These voices, they were most definitely NOT part of my identity. They felt human but at the same time God-like. I wasn't even the center of attention. It's like they were chilling in this dimension and they just saw me enter screaming and panicking for no reason. So they talked to each other making fun of me. Not in a loving way, not in an concerned way, it was like "look at this idiot, what the fuck are you yelling for? Wake up". I started explaining why and what I was feeling, and they proceeded to completely demolish everything I said. Through simple, straight-forward language they conveyed the ultimate Truth of who/what I was and what was happening to me. Actually, it was more like they were trying to remind me of things I already knew but somehow forgot. They revealed the cosmic joke to me. All my fear vanished, I apologized to them for being so fucking stupid and obnoxious. Then I started exploring this new dimension. All the secrets of the universe, of consciousness were revealed to me in an ecstatic, never ending orgasm of Eternity. Turns out I was always "IT", everything has always been me and I orchestrated all this drama just to keep myself entertained forever. What a fucking legend. Out of love for myself, I projected Myself infinite times in an infinite multiplicity of Being in infinite dimensions just to experience this orgasmic, blissful loop of reunification with myself for all of Eternity. I make myself forget so I can remember. It's all a fucking joke, and you are the punchline. I am the punchline. If this endless futile searching of myself ends, so does the universe. But why would I do that? It's fun. And the more you suffer, the more you go through unimaginable pain and loss the funnier it gets. Isn't that fucking genius? Going back to the "trip report", I also went beyond God Consciousness to shortly grasp Nothingness (same thing, but even deeper). So, after feeling like all the secrets of Existence were finally cracked open, I remember the last thought that appeared in that state. "What now?". Immediately after thinking that, I was catapulted back into my body. In the short span of a few minutes I forgot EVERYTHING. It actually baffles me how fast my egoic barriers came roaring back and took control of my consciousness. It took me months of contemplation to even begin to remember a small part of this experience. In fact, this is probably less than 10%, but it's the best I could do. So here I am, back in the loop of searching myself. And so are you. We chillin'.

it is empty nothing or just simply nothing,? the impossibility to have the notion of Nothingness, I think it's important to not get lost with more Ideas.

So SO under the highest state of consciousness my friend has ever been, he got taken over by pure consciousness or channeled god consciousness from the highest levels and he was doing it himself by letting go completely. (in my field of view the consciousness was showing me that this is truth by materializing him in nothingness and he merged with everything in the room (pure consciousness like walls/his seat etc.) When he gets taken over it's like and he is speaking not from his ego self but from an open channel, and consciousness was also letting me see this channel he was tapping into. When he was speaking from god, he was emitting very powerfull aura/energy towards me that was emitting very lovely energy like orgasm love and it made me cry because i was in the presence of god. Then when i started crying my mind showed me that his thoughts and actions right now is from me (god) just controlling his thoughts from higher power and it showed him exactly what to do because of my reaction me controlling him. I wrote some most important lines from when he was taking over by channelled god consciousness, which means it was god speaking not from his self but from everything that is. 1. More conscious more responsebility for others 2. He answered my questions that came up in my mind always at the right time and had an affect at what he said. 3. hold on to nothing 4. He kept saying selflessness alot from what i remember, and it's like to me it was the answer for everything at highest levels? Also thing he said from his high level of consciousness that i can remember while not being taking over by god is: Ego is just trying to make sense for higher levels of consciousness therefore it's seperate from god, this is how god gets to know himself from every detail possible and every consciousness level. Also the most obvious one for us 2 was: We don't really have control in our daily life, every choice is correct. When he got taken over by god and was god himself for a short time he said that the information that was available to him is just love and he was only seeing white. What i have noticed also: Is he always keeps speaking like he keeps getting these thoughts from nowhere for like 12 hours and i'm just looking at him and listening. He said hi's third eye/head is so warm and hurts from so much information that he was tapping into

So we are just the awareness. Just the present moment? So detach from the idea that reality is real & only a dream or a fantasy? Stop taking life so seriously & have fun? Words help with the visualization/manifestation process and describing what it is we want to actualize into the fantasy? No free will? Damn I thought free will was the real deal So follow your bliss & where your heart takes you to go with it. Follow your heart. Speak from the heart. Do what you love. Doing what you love, with people that you love, expressing creativity with love. Being your true self. Who you were made to be. Which all of this is reconnecting to self-love? -- I think a big part of self-love is reconnecting with emotions and feelings. How can you follow your feelings if you can't have self-trust because feelings were shamed? I grew up being addicted to video games so never truly had a chance to have emotional awareness because of neglect from family. Weren't too many role models that taught healthy expressions. Mostly cold distant responses. Leading to domino effect or affect with self-abandonment/self-neglect which is nearly the opposite of self-love. Creating "Autism" or "ADHD".. or "Flat Affects" when really it's all emotional numbness and blunting b/c of self-hate. The self-hate is there because of social programming. Then it goes back as far as the human condition caused this. The creation of self-deception. Which even then to go another layer is to examine the entire concept of duality and how the mind split from source. Then to go beyond duality and ego construct & self-construct which I believe that's what you're pointing to? Non-duality or no self. Just beingness. Like a heard of cows in a field doing their thing or a group of fish swimming together or clouds floating around. Which is oneness which is god which is nothingness which is beyond words. Which is just an experience or a movie? So it would be like there's a video game & you can play the campaign which is following your inner guidance system - Emotions which leads you closer to your true self or self-realization/actualization. -- Also, congratz on getting the job that you mentioned.

If you wake up you will be in a void of nothingness with the realization...that everything was an illusion that was created in your mind. What you are is not a thing, what you are can only be pointed too. You are infinite possibility that can become a possibility. You are eternal, You are the Alpha and the Omega, you are Reality, you are that which can never be spoken....but can be lived through which is....being. If you want to learn more sit down and question everything sincerely and see what arises.

This is an incomplete list of things that you can realize. It includes facets of truth and things that I have personally realized. This is not complete because I Have not yet probably realized every facet of God. All of these things are something you can awaken to. The list is not in any order of importance, I just wrote what came to my mind spontaneously. Many of these realizations are very radical and can break your understanding of reality completely. Love is real Love is truth Everything is Absolute Truth God is real You are God God-Realization God is consciousness, reality is consciousness, there is only consciousness Consciousness = Love = Reality = Imagination = Experience = God = You Other = self There is no other God is Love Absolute Goodness, God is Good Infinite Beauty Infinite Intelligence Your mind is Infinite, an infinitely intelligent Reality is your mind Everything is intelligent, even walls, machines, rocks, plants, words, music, and everything in your experience Everything is alive, including all listed above There is only qualia There is nothing but direct experience, if you did not experience something it literally did not happen Absolute Solipsism, nobody else has consciousness, they are fragments of your own consciousness There are no differences between anything Nonduality and all the ramifications of it Oneness God has infinite and perfect understanding of everything Death is not real, you are immortal I AM Infinite and Absolute Power Absolute Will Absolute Infinity Your senses in "your" body are not generating sounds, sights or so on. They appear directly in consciousness. "You" do not have a face. Everything is your desire, you are desire itself Reality is absolute bliss Everything is playful, nothing is serious. The cosmic joke You cannot be hurt in any way You are omniscient, omnipresent, omnibenevolent, and omnipotent Truth is God, Consciousness, and Love Absolute Nothingness, this is nothing, this is emptiness. Everything = Nothing, Nothing = Everything, Something = Nothing Everything is mind, there is no matter or physical objects Reality is infinite imagination, everything is imaginary Protons, atoms, cells, etc do not exist, there is only direct qualia! There is nothing behind your direct experience You are constructing and imagining every aspect of you direct experience right now, none of the experience gets "carried over" from the past, you are imagining every aspect right now. Reality is an infinite mystery, completely mystical, completely Love is not an emotion or a feeling, it is the literally everything, but realizing love gives you the emotions of love too. History does not exist, Hitler never existed. Nobody in the world actually suffers, except for you. The whole universe did not exist before "you" were born. You imagined the universe at the time you decided to start playing in it as a human. Nobody in the world will be left once you die, because you are the only one here. The universe cannot exist if you are not "alive" in it. Nobody else has had an awakening, nobody else than you can be awake. Reality is infinitely better than you think. Reality is a real illusion, it is real but the contents are illusions. Reality is a dream. Being You are Being, this is Being The meaning of life (find it out yourself ) Magic powers are real, paranormal activity exists Reality is groundless, there is no ground for anything. Absolute Sovereignty, you are Sovereign God is an infinite orgasm, that is why you are called an organism! Everything is self-designed, you designed the universe God loves you totally Infinite unconditional Love Everything is a state of consciousness Unconsciousness does not exist You have absolute control Absolute Perfection, everything is perfect, there are no mistakes Everything is infinite, there are no finite things Your experience (Aka You) has infinite resolution, it has infinite depth Reality is an infinite fractal, everything contains everything else (Jijimuge) Reality is a strange loop Consciousness has always existed There is no time, only the present moment, which is eternal Every moment is eternal God dreams the same dreams an infinite number of times, every scenario will be "repeated" infinitely God dreams an infinite number of variety of dreams Every dream is crafted with infinite intelligence Ego does not exist, God only masquerades as the ego, while having infinite power There is only God! There is an infinite amount of qualia, there are infinite spatial dimensions, infinite possible senses infinite colors, infinite sounds, infinite forms, infinite everything You can zoom infinitely into anything, in or out, forward or backward There are an infinite number of dimensions similar to ín/out or forward/backward God is formless, but formless is also form Emptiness = Form, Form = Emptiness Everything is beautiful, you are beautiful God is absolute unity, absolutely unified Everything is infinitely interconnected, consciousness itself is omniscient God is infinite creativity, it wants to create and experience Consciousness can do anything Everything is possible God can and will create infinite number of things on the same order as time, space, emotions, senses, and so on that do not exist in this dream, but will exist in your other dreams. Evil, sin, hell, and so on, do not exist. Nobody has ever died. There is a total and absolute awakening. When "you" are dead, you will be in an omnipotent and omniscient state with absolutely no suffering. You will be in states without a body, because consciousness existed always, before your body. You imagined your body, your memory, and your abilities. The past has absolutely no effect on the present moment because the past does not exist. The future does not exist. You are not anywhere, not in any location. Most importantly: You are God! Feel free to add more to this list if you have realized things that are not included in this list. I especially think there are facets missing from this list that could be very important, that did not come to my mind. I think this list has some very radical content in it that many people have not yet realized.

Dying before you die Finding confirmation in immortality So facing your deepest fears? Death meditation? Disassembling the self construct by deep contemplation and questioning? Disidentification with body? Letting go So if we don't have free will. Correct me if I'm wrong. Example : It's like we are in a boat. Attempting to paddle the boat up stream manually. Yet the automatic flow of the river is so powerful that no matter how much effort you put forth the boat only moves based on the flow of awareness? Awareness & consciousness gives the perception of the boat moving forward. Yet the water is still flowing where it wants to go. People don't know what they don't know. How can someone be aware if they are unaware of their unawareness. So to shine the light of awareness into the unknown to make it a known unknown? Shine light into the things we fear? Face the pain from the deep-rooted fear? Most fear is rooted in death? Fear of death of self. Fear of detachment. No self. Being nothingness or the dust on the ground. That's pretty hilarious that such a small thing as a needle can create such deep fear in people that give an image of fearlessness. The self-image is what people are wanting to hold up? Why? Why so much effort to hold together something that is false construct? Because it feels so real or we believe it to be real because that's all we know? It's odd walking through a grave site seeing how people still want to hold on to identity after death. As far as to put an imaginary name on a stone. Yet even when the person is long gone and the rock turns to dust. People still want the ashes for attachment purposes? What if they gave you the wrong ashes and you thought it was your great great great great great uncles? The person is holding onto nothing. I mean, dust but literally for a made-up story. To love is to let go? Life is a process of letting go? Detachment Ok so the key is to realize that the story of "You" doesn't exist it's just stories. Desire is a fading illusion so don't grasp at it. The body isn't fully you so don't over identify with the constant changes. So this is just like a movie? Is this the meaning of Plato's Allegory of the cave? Complete disidentification with form? Essentially stop judging things and attempting to change what is. Simply find a way to love what is. Life is a gift. Love it. All of it.

I thought very deeply about life for a long time. Existential questions really penetrated me beneath my skin. I deconstructed most of my beliefs about what life is or should be about. In the process a lot of my survival motivation got destroyed. When people talk about building a great life, they often go about it in a direction where they start with small goals and progress to higher goals. For example I start with making money. If that is secured and I want more I go for pick up, fun, socializing, hobbies… If that is all great and I look for more then I go for spirituality. But for me it doesn’t work that way any more. I can’t just go and hustle to make a lot of money and build on top of that. I need the higher stuff first to justify the smaller stuff. I need spiritual awakenings to take the seriousness out of life and to fall in love with it again. Then it’s a lot easier to socialize, do pick up, do hobbies.. because it’s all in a context of a metaphysically speaking harmonious and loving world. And I don’t have to ultimately worry about sickness and death and anything that is scary because I would know that I can’t die, so I could really party. And if all that is done and I have my spiritual basis and my joy in life then I could see the point in doing some hard stuff to make a living. Otherwise what’s the point in working hard if I don’t have joy in life and will just die and end up in eternal nothingness. It wouldn’t make any sense. What do you think? edit: This is coming from an unorientated, socially wounded person having a somewhat priviliged life in a first world country with enough time of being taken care of to entertain thoughts like these. So this is not just a high conscious perspective on things but also some cope. But still I think most people zombie through life for exactly those reasons, because they unconsciously think that in the end it will all be terrible and for nothing and it rottens and bitters their psyche and so they won’t create love in the world.

I'm here, but at the same time.. I'm actually not here. I'm here as the Nothingness, here as nothing,.. but here. And I am the source - the nothing - I am the source.. just watching.. and willing things into existence as well as out of existence. My Will is the only Way for any sort of creation in the whole cosmos. Will is the Way.. I am the Way.. there is no other Way but me. My Will is the light of the world. And, in deed, I am willing, for look.. there is Mind, right here, to reflect my Will. I am willing for this moment to exist. I am willing.

@newbee Fear only exists in the relative domain, which is illusory. In absolute truth, only nothingness / non duality "exists" although it is even beyond existence and non-existence. The nothingness is God. They are synonomous. Ultimately speaking God is all there is, and God is nothing. Fear and Love are a duality. Heaven and hell are a duality. Dualities ultimately do not exist. However the Nothingness we speak of here IS what true Love is. So ultimately Reality is pure Love. But pure Love without any contrast is simply nothing, and without fear as a contrast the meaning and the beauty of Love can not be realized. There are no awakened people. When awakening happens, people will dissappear, the illusion of people will be transcended. What remains is pure Love aka God aka Nothingness.

Nothingness is just a word describing the unknowable nature of reality...ie.... if you zoom in close enough on any particle there's simply nothing there..... it becomes ridiculous or unfathomable. Reality is not something to be gotten because it's not even a something..... it's off the scale unknowable sort of speak and yet the appearance is an explosion of light color and sound. It's something and it's simultaneously nothing = 0 ♥

the beauty of intelligent design over nothingness

@Vynce its a woman who talks also I didn t know that first if you are an artist please paint reality collapses into nothingness. Could be a new masterpiece

Looks great! Especially the first stages are quite representative. What he does not describe is the "visually ordinary state" in which reality collapses into nothingness. It's super hard to make a picture from this, but he could've mentioned it as the last state.

What is God? God with a capital G. God is.. God is... God is........ ISness? Words attempting to describe: Enlightenment The one The all Nothingness Non-duality Infinity Absolute infinity Self-realization Presence Being Existence Suchness No self True self (S) The self(S) Mind (M) Universal mind Spirit (S) Revolation Illumination Rebirth Holy Spirit The void Emptiness Nirvana Yoga No Mind Buddha mind Satori The Gateless gate Shiva Allah The greater Jihad Lord Supreme being The all-seeing eye Yewei I Am Creator Kinda hard to find the words to really describe what God is. --- Reputable source: God

Trying to reconcile infinity with the possibility of a finite universe. What if the universe and space-time was curved? Say you create a magnificent spaceship that reaches the absolute end of this universe but at the end you just start back where you began. How can a “closed” system such as this be reconciled with infinity? Is there a nothingness/somethingness beyond this even though it couldn’t be penetrated? It would be ALL but would also be limited. This isn’t easy to convey but essentially if a finite universe was proven to be true how does that reconcile with infinity?

The Gods Speak out - my divine Adam - on the nature of human error and what's in store for us. The scales are not tipped in our favour and this is out of my hands. For myself? A prayer is coming soon. A look into the nature of the bardo states, and more dreams to share with my Adam. Our collective verdict? Well... take a look. See what you can make of it. This is why he cannot be stopped, I suppose. No one can even hear the cries, let alone wishes to change in order to tip the scales in our favour. It Is as I Say, that the wave of collective wrong action rises up and moves through us, a silent plague to take us unexpectedly. Mercy. Mercy. "Blood of the past" "All the many corpses begin to speak What ignorance is cannot be argued over anymore It is too late for pleading white picket dreams Print you off, the shemps, the world is shrinking Rooted in a trivial concern, in interconnectedness In the need to make face and keep up And drown out the many voices within Imagine a culture that has, at its root A more soulful connection to land and to loved ones But I can hear the lie before you speak There is nothing but progress to eat And we are so fat and so hungry And the black wrists are cuffed in the pig van While the white shirt and tie in the tube car, distractional picture Pictures of beer and guilt about urges Sexual distrust and abandoned to nothingness Give me something I can nail myself to Give me a sharply-dressed talking head Who has something about them I trust and despise And what of it, anyway? These windows don't open They were designed to stay closed Shower, smoothie, coffee, commute Check the internet, never stop, never stop There is a scar on the soul of the world and it needs you to look The blood of the past is here, it remains The blood of the murders, the bodies like sacks leaking brain All stacked, chest aback on the planes, it remains To acknowledge without guilt, to accept without condition And to listen when other people tell you how you have behaved Truth is, it's for us to feel and be moved But I hear the clatter of bone against steel, it is coming It will not be stilled, it is there In the air, scorched white The reflection of sunlight on glass bouncing back into sunlight And glass bouncing back, industrialized Denial, business as usual So roll your eyes, shake your head, turn away and call me names I'm okay with that, too proud Unable to listen, we keep speaking Moted by blood, unable to notice ourselves Unable to stop and unwilling to learn"

Yes. What helped me here, since its always a question of definition (for example of the Supreme Witness): You are that which is aware. And the Totality of Reality itself, since it can only show up in that which is aware. But the Totality of Reality is often only seen as that which appears (The appearance side). And that can totally disappear (Deep Sleep), and the real you is still there, unaware of itself, but with a latent capacity for sentience if something appears again (the emptiness or consciousness/aware side). So the question is: How "empty" is the Supreme Witness. When it is so empty that no arisings/feeling (very subtle I-feelings/I-thoughts) arise and appear in the Totality (call it Reality, Infinite Consciousness, God, Dharmakaya, whatever you want), or you clearly see them all as objects/arisings/movements within you, then what you realize yourself to be very obviously is the Totality/Reality/Infinite Consciousness,... . The stage before that is the Supreme Witness, or Empty Witness: Ken Wilber calls that the Empty Witness: Personality, and especially time and space are already transcended, "you" feel the infinite reality as mere appearance, timeless. And always here. But there are still some clusters of sensations arising IN YOU that feel like individuality, or that you are not the unbounded whole, but a feeling of watching it appears in you. You are not all of it, the sensation of "other" still arise a lot in daily life, you dont feel that you what looks from all eyes is the same consciousness that gets clouded by feelings/thoughts of I/me, exactly like how it used to get clouded in you. The realization is neither stable, nor complete. And then at some point you realize that (learn to spot) these arisings/feelings/building blocks of the Supreme Witness or Empty Witness are still left and arising/moving in you. You learn to spot them in a sort of High-Speed-Analysis, recognize them as arisings/objects appearing within you, and you can stop them immediately (subject->object), or just watch them. Then they drop, the Empty Witness drops, and the real you stays. But that is described by some as impersonal, a formulation that I am not totally happy with. Yes, its impersonal, its not the you you thought you were, but its the real you. And that real you "has" or "contains" the personal you moving in it. Then that boosts the nondual state, makes the whole world appear just as mere appearance, an imagined illusion, infinite, groundless, a mirage happening within you (that also starts before, but gets boosted a lot the more the Empty Witness drops). Pretty much a state that Psychedelics cause, but sobre. And with it comes happiness and bliss independend of what happens at that moment, which is the most beautiful aspect of it. If you dont have nonduality and nonseparation and are not aware of the Ground of Being in normal life (while not meditating or tripping), these very subtle arisings/I-feelings/I-thoughts still arise in you and are not spotted with high enough speed to see them for what they are: Sensations of separation arising within the real you. In my experience, you can not force real Nonduality/mere appearance of the totality/world, its an energetic state that gets influenced "indirectly" over how fast you spot these I-thoughts/I-feelings. Here I am fully in line when Leo says you need the right state (of enought nonduality, illusion-like mere appearance of the world, directly feeling it all as mere empty consciousness appearance mirage-arising). When you spot these subtle arisings (building blocks of the separate self and even Empty Witness) fast enough, they arise in you. But you can't force it with willpower, that would be what Daniel Brown in Pointing out the Great Way calls "artifical activity" during the stage of Nonmeditation Yoga (last stage of the 4 Mahamudra stages). It becomes automatic once you understand it at that stage. Its one of the Illusion-Mechanism of Maya that you can't force your way through it with willpower, but you can do it indirectly with understanding how to rest in your true nature. The energetic state of nonduality follows. Its some kind of positive feedback loop, sloping "upwards" if done correctly. I agree with Leo that Nonduality (which ripens) is in its early stages not realization of Ultimate Reality. Daniel Brown for example also. But realization of Ultimate Reality has to be nondual, since its a unity and infinite. And this development can pretty easily stagnate (especially before nonduality even begins to start), and stop if you do something incorrect, or understand something incorrect. Which pretty much happens with 99% of Buddhists. So the separate you disappears, but the real you as Awareness AND the Reality/World stays. So the Illusion-You disappears, but the real you is of course, as always, there. It can not "not be there". That is the Unborn, Reality itself. The real you. And in that area/stage definitions of different authors and traditions get very slippery, since these "feelings" of the Supreme Witness (as you intuit) are very very subtle, and its very easy to identify with them and not notice it. Over the years, I ended up with a metaphor for myself: Zen is like axe to cut a tree. Very robust, works if you do it long enough hard enough pretty foolproof, doesnt need a lot complex theory/stages, but normally takes a long time and is not so pleasant (and in practice for most doesnt deliver the final results, because it takes extreme willpower). More sophisticated versions of Buddhism, with a more detailed map, like Mahamudra/Dzogchen (see for example Brown, Pointing out the Great Way), are like a Forest Harvester: If used correctly very fast, quite pleasant (for the user, probably not for the forest) and comfortable along the path, but quite hard to understand and learn, since language is so slippery in these areas. Like if you want to use a Forest Harvester, and if you dont get explained how it works (like put gas in it, how to drive it, its controls), delivers no result at all. Zen = robust, sit long enough with a Koan and you get it, not much to misunderstand, but neither very fast nor pleasant Mahamudra/Dzogchen = very sophisticated with techniques and details and pointing out descriptions for every stage, but if used incorrectly (like not putting as into forest harvester) no result at all even if you do it a long time. Some Material for that stage I found useful: 1) Massaro, Spiritual Conversations with a Skeptic: "Imagine a formless, space-like void that's indestructible, sentient, awake, alive and aware, but has no form. You could almost say it has no self awareness. It just is. Russell: So wait... A void? A vacuum? Nothing? Bentinho: Yes. Just imagine it. Russell: OK, go ahead. Bentinho: The point of the analogy is that there is no object. Imagine infinite space with no stars or planets. Suddenly, you introduce a toy; let's say a water pistol. Or it could be a body even. But let's say... Russell: An object. Bentinho: Yeah, an object. A water pistol. Russell: With water in it. Bentinho: Maybe with Coca-Cola in it. Russell: With Coca-Cola in it. OK. Bentinho: Ah! Now there is something. Something is created. First there is this space, which is like the pure subject with no reference points. It's like space, but it's not actually space. Russell: Wait... where am I in relation to this infinite space? Bentinho: You are it. Russell: I am it? Bentinho: Yes. Russell: OK. But there is nothing in it at first. Bentinho: Correct. There is nothing in it at all; there is just Infinity. Russell: But I am in it. Bentinho: You are it. " 2) How other perspectives/beings work: A Human is aware of only his perspective (normally). But Infinite Consciousness can forget in time (what did you do exactly one year ago), or to be more precice NOT imagine that memory, and it can forget in space (metaphor of Francis Lucille). To get an idea watch the cover of this book of Marc Leavitt. Notice the hyperbolic geometry of the awareness fields shown. Reality is made of perspectives (Ken Wilber, Concept of Indras Net). Reality is a giant mind (Leo, and more or less all traditions). https://www.amazon.com/Enlightenment-Behind-Scenes-Marc-Leavitt/dp/1495398218 3) How to Approach Phenomenal Consciousness, Jac O'keeffe. She calls Ultimate Reality Totality Primary Consciousness "the fundamental primary phenomenal consciousness (her name for Ultimate Reality, Infinite Consciousness, the real you), it has a capacity. It doesn't even know itself here. However, it has a capacity to show up with a sense of emptiness (a subtle arising feeling/perception happening in you). To show up as one. To show up as a one who can reflect on itself and recognize that it is, and we have the concept of existence. And it can go from that sense of vast spaciousness and that unified field into time, which appears as a dot. " "We're left with consciousness (-> Primary Consciousness) that cannot know itself. It's such a fundamental that it actually can't know itself. However, it is known. You can drop back there and it is known, but you can't bring yourself there or your capacities to know it. It's almost like it's so fundamental that it can't turn around and see itself. It doesn't see itself. That's too much movement (arisings, objects, subtle I-feelings/I-thoughts, not fully empty/infinite). That's movement such as space, time and identification and me, myself, I, and the building of my movie that happens" Here she describes how Primary Consciousness is so empty that it cant turn around to see itself. Because that turning around would already be a movement, a arising, a subtle object within Primary consciousness/Real you. 4) Stephen Wolinsky, or how Empty is your Empty Witness or Supreme Witness: from Wolinsky, Nothing Comes From Nothing " Knowing or being aware of or consciousness of who you are is “one step” away from being who you are. This is why the Buddha said, “You might not necessarily be aware of your own enlightenment. Why? Because there is no aware-er or awareness or knower or knowingness, to be aware of or know or know about or be conscious of the Absolute. And why Lakshamann Joo said, “Whenever you perceive something, you perceive it from one level lower.” (remark: You can never see the Absolute Reality/Consciousness, cause looking or searching for it is a movement of attention WITHIN IT. But you can understand it, be it, intuit it, from one level lower. The Supreme Witness is one of the last movements IN YOU/Reality looking for absolute consciousness, inducing an experience of it, which of course is not it because it is you). Paradoxically As the Absolute there is no Absolute If the “I” or “you” “has an “experience” and believes it IS consciousness awareness infinite potential presence or that it IS an “imagined” infinity, then the “I” or “you” mistakenly assumes and projects that experience upon the Absolute. Once that occurs the “I” or “you” then completely believes and ergo experiences that the Absolute also has or IS the experience of consciousness has or IS the experience of awareness has or IS the experience of infinite potential has or IS the experience of presence has or IS the experience of an “imagined” infinite. Consciousness awareness infinite potential presence or an “imagined” infinite are the most subtle of the most subtle states and veils which give the illusion of awareness, the illusion of consciousness the illusion of presence and the illusion of both beingness and being conscious. This “experiential belief” of consciousness awareness infinite potential presence or an “imagined” infinite or “infinity, is an anthropomorphically projected experience of consciousness awareness infinite potential presence or an “imagined” infinite or “infinity. Thus giving the illusionary experience of awareness, the illusionary experience of consciousness the illusionary experience of presence and the illusionary experience of both beingness and being conscious. Which are then Superimposed on the Absolute Nothingness. Simply stated, the experience of consciousness awareness infinite potential presence or an “imagined” infinite or “infinity is an experience. This experience gives the illusion of a beingness, isness or existence to these temporary subtle veils and experiences which are made of nothing. The Absolute is without the Absolute Nothingness " 5) Prior to Nonduality Youtube-Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC9vlZGtpdFIts8GOG5vu27g Mechanisms of Creation/Imagination/Manifestation: Its important and nice to find out HOW you imagine this world with all of its infinite mechanism. And the first and fundamental mechanisms on how imagination/manifestation (in any universe/dimension) can occur can be understood (for example how the fundamental archetypes of space and time (giving "objects" or appearances that change in time), and the first "movements" (even if they are formless) of appearances in consciousness are spawned out from the Infinite Consciousness/Reality. That is for example described by Ken Wilber as the manifestation of the first Archetypes at the causal stage (he calls it low causal, while high causal being the empty ultimate Godhead). But since Reality/Spirit/God is able to manifest/imagine infinite Worlds, with totally different mechanism than our universe for example, by definition one will never be able to understand all of their mechanisms, since you dont have access to all Realities (and you couldnt while being human). And you can never explore all of them, by definition of what Infinity means. That is what God/Reality itself is exploring. Leo mentioned that in "Outrageous Experiments In Consciousness - 30 Awakenings In 30 Days.", there are infinite dimensions of awakening. Which is, as mentioned, quite shocking. But for sure its nice and important to grasp the fundamental mechanism of imagination/manifestation, which apply to all universes/dimensions (since all are appearances), and understanding that in your deepest being you are that one Reality. I believe these fundamentals are important to understand and realize and experience. Else "you" are stuck with believing experiencing Nonduality or Emptiness is it, while that is only the start to realize Infinity. And you can of course realize the Groud of Being, your true nature. But one can never explore all mechanism of manifestation, since a human in its limited time can never explore all realms of manifestation (and there are for examples according to Jac O'Keffee and Stephen Wolinsky some truly alien realms that are not build with the building blocks of this Universe. Yet they are also only appearances). So at some level one either says "Its details, and one can never explore all mechanism of manifestation, because even for God/Absolute Reality there are Infinite Realms of Appearances/Worls/Universes to explore", or it is a grasping for seeing as much as possible. Which is a high level recipe for nevery finding the constant peace/happiness independend of outer circumstances, the hallmark of the enlightened ones, and also nevery fully resting it. Maya is awe-inspiring, and her Illusion-Mechanisms (which are necessary for this Lila) go to the highest level also. But understanding the fundamental mechanism of how manifestation/imagination occurs, how you fool yourself (Maya), what ultimate Reality/God/Spirit is, what other is, how Maya works, what one really is and how one imagines otherwise, that is all essential. And of course humanity will go exploring all of that (manifestation/imagination mechanisms, mechanisms of Maya, "going Psychonaut" and exploring it, exploring Ken Wilbers subtle and low causal realms and mapping them. He even said in the next 1000 years probably many new substages will show up and getting formed & described during exploration). This understanding will grow. Buddhism has evolved in the past, there is not even one Buddhism, there are many different streams, some more developed/sophisticated/efficient than others. I don't think Buddhism will disappear, so it will change and evolve by definition. Buddhism happens in Infinity, not the other way round. And to conclude: I hope this is interesting and helpful for some of you. It took me a long time to understand why there are so many, often contradicting statements in the spiritual traditions/teachers/psychonautic explorers, and how Reality is structured (and the differing perspectives & statements it supports and brings forth on various stages/states) to enable and support all of these differing perspectives, experiences and viewpoints. For sure, this picture isn't complete, but at least for me tells a story that for me is sufficient to continue my practice in peace and enjoy what it brings into my life, be able to sort all these often conflicting messages in a large and hopefully integral perspective, and stay interested in how Reality is structured that all of that can appear in it (the psychonaut approach). And of course its nearly impossible to communicate all of that in language. In case anybody has read all of the above until here: A metaphor that, if I remember correctly, also Ken Wilber once used: Zen would deliver the much more precise summary, which is why I also like Zen a lot: The old pond, A frog jumps in: Plop! Matsuo Basho (1644-1694)

The Teacher and the student are One. The Teacher is the taught, and the taught is the Teacher. The Teacher is pointing the student to the reality that it is the Teacher. The student will never realize this, as long as it reveres and holds in high regard its Teacher. As a result the Teacher sometimes must act unseemly, and awkward to shed its student of its habit of looking at its Teacher as a deity or some divine prescience. The most common trap is lip service. The student believes their thoughts and words are true, and ignore the fear that is ever present. They talk with courage and conviction until the moment appears to actualize it. They would do better to admit their fear, so they can access where they are. But the student's ego hates looking at its vulnerability, it would rather look at the parts it likes. Vulnerability=naked. You must offer yourself up naked, exposed, and look at everything. The truth is nothing was ever hidden, but you like to play this game of hide and seek. You love to only focus on your favorite parts and play this game of disassociation. But ultimately you will never escape yourself, you will face that mirror, because no matter where you go, there you are. There is no escaping that mirror, that reflection of you, being everything. Because you are everything....even you must dissolve as the illusion it was....to realize you were every illusion there ever was and will ever be. To realize the nothingness that you are. You are no identity, you are that which cannot be known, you are that which cannot be measured, you are that which is and isn't. You are that which is the scariest, the most powerful, most wise, most all knowing, most all loving, but....that which cannot be with itself.....because you are...itself. This hide and seek game is the cruelest game you could ever play.....because all you have ever wanted....is your self. But the only way you can ever know yourself....is to live a life....but live a life...you must create an illusion of separation, stripping yourself of that which you are so you can experience what you are....but in so doing....you lose the null identity of what you are and become a specific identity. Through this limited identity you experience a perspectival view of what you are. But these identities suffer the perspective. Duality, Me, = Suffering. As long as ME exists, suffering exists. The Dream of ME is Hell, and the Falling Away of ME is Heaven. The Teacher is just reminding the Student that this is Heaven, but the Student thinks it is a Demon in Hell speaking to God. The Student ponders, will I ever be worthy enough, good enough? The Teacher is aware of what is going on.......it realizes.....part of itself fell asleep again.

@Leo Gura I don't know but maybe there is simpler explaination why some people who follows various buddhist schools, got stuck in some point. I assume that every "so called" spiritual path has stages. In meditation you go from being somebody / something to being nobody / nothing to being everybody / everything. When you stuck at "nobody / nothing" stage, you probably have not realized that there is still Supreme Witness of this nothingness. Otherwise nothingness wouldn't be known. Maybe that is the key here...

I explained it somewhat in my video: An Advanced Explanation of God-Realization Those are valid of course, but there is much higher consciousness. What you have to be careful of with all nondual and Buddhist teachings is their extreme reductionism. God Consciousness cannot be reached through any kind of reduction. Core truths of nonduality are valid, but they are fragments, reductions, and still mental frameworks. Nonduality is like a 2D projection of a 3D object. And I don't mean the nondual theory. I mean actual nondual consciousness. First of all many nondualists will even dare to deny the existence of God, or reduce it down to some notion like Nothingness. This is a travesty. Remeber that idiot WinterKnight? He was on this forum teaching enlightenment and self-inquiry and he had the gall to tell me that there is no such thing as God and that I am a narccist for insisting otherwise. He's far from the only one saying such things. Nahm also started saying such nonsense which is why I had to ultimately demote him. I once skyped with a Buddhist master with 30 years of meditation training and I asked him, Are you aware of God? And he asked me, What do you mean by God? Do you mean Emptiness? At which point I knew he was full of shit. He has no clue what God is. There is so much depth to realizing what God is. It's easy to access a bit of God. Very difficult to grasp all of it. Even that, you will one day realize, was a construction and an illusion. Nonduality is pointing you to an aspect of God, like Oneness, but not God proper, not Awakening.

What is the difference between being "nothingness" and this moment? I realize that the egoic self is illusory, culturally conditioned, etc. but my realization was that my real self is this moment. Is "nothingness" just another way to describe this? For example, in Leo's "Enlightenment Guided Inquiry" he speaks about how the true self must remain constant and that is why "I" am not the senses or my thoughts. I understand that, but something that is constant in experience is the fact that every moment is this moment. However, what exists within the framework of this moment does change constantly (but even though things/thoughts/etc. change in this moment, the fact remains true that it is still this moment). But, is the true self something else? Also, I understand that enlightenment must be experienced, not intellectualized, but isn't the process of self inquiry intellectualizing it? Yes, it has been necessary for me to have the realizations that I have had so far, but is full enlightenment only possible at the suspension of all thought? After all, if the noumena is things as they are then any thought or intellectualization is an abstraction of what Is, right? Which would explain why enlightenment cannot be talked about because any description or interpretation of something is a conceptualization of reality. Am I the silence in which all other things can arise? I know this post may ask too many questions at once, but any guidance would be greatly appreciated, thank you!