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About Chives99

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  • Birthday 08/12/1996

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    North Yorkshire, UK
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  1. @Anton Rogachevski With ego death you dont know anything, you BECOME it. Its a merging with reality. Imagine being blasted out of your body and into your sensory field, thats ego death
  2. That I am ness actually turns out to be nothing
  3. @Anton Rogachevski absolute truth is literally undeniable,you're either an entity in your head or you're not, ego death shows this isnt the case. ego death is not only simple , its that which cannot be simpler, cannot be further reduced.
  4. or im speaking from genuine insights
  5. @Gabriel Antonio well i cant communicate without words so i am extremely limited here. These words are just maps but are not the territorry. The word 'car' wont get u from a to b but if i told you to get in the car, you would know i meant to get in the object.
  6. Right now is all that exists, its in a constant flux and changes, but right now is always right now. Tomorrow can only ever be a thought so is yesterday.Dont even try to think about it thats not right now, you can only be it.
  7. awareness is all there is, not matter, not space, just awareness
  8. be as ambitious as you want it wont matter when you're dead, whats really important is living a life in which you're loving every moment and consumed by the beauty and mystery of life. I mean sages are hardly ambitious they hide away in their cave. I know that wouldn't be desirable for a lot of people though.
  9. @Leo Gura My issue with relaxing comes down to a deeply held belief that being uninhibited and letting go will make me do something foolish or offend somebody. The ego believes it self regulates me and the higher self shouldn't be let out as it will run amok. Its like imagine letting somebody you dont know take your car out for a spin, wouldn't you be worried they'd wreck it??. So not being relaxed and inhibited is not giving this person the keys
  10. After my Horrifying yet incredibly beautiful DMT trip, my higher self or God as my mind wishes to call it came to the conclusion that my mind is going to have to be brutally honest with itself and that this is the best news ever. I wouldn't necessarily say its my conversation thats off , although it still needs a lot of work, my biggest obstacle with talking to women is getting my mind to relax. The times I recall that I've had amazing interactions with women is when I've been entirely present and relaxed. Approaching isnt even hard when you're relaxed, you see a woman give you look of interest and conversation just flows out of you, if you arent relax you might as well not bother approaching as you're not going to be in the right mental state to lead a conversation. Most of this requires getting rid of a load of bullshit and old thinking patterns out of your head
  11. I majourly falsely believed " In order to have a relationship ( a healthy one) you have to not want one and you can't fake it either, it has to be genuine realisation that you do not need other people" I believed this but didnt feel it or practice it. In reality I was constantly on a mission to find a girlfriend. Recently I had an epiphany that I can be all alone and still be happy a girlfriend could leave me and I genuinely be like "This is fine , reality is perfect, how can it be otherwise" and this isnt just me bullshitting myself, so that I trick myself out of a negative thought pattern. Detachment goes full circle , you become so detached from needing anyone, that your love just spills over into all of reality, everything is beautiful , everything is perfect and the irony is this when people gravitate towards you. When you need someone, they just see it as you wanting a relationship to avoid being single and they feel like you are using them and don't give a shit about them, because from that perspective the relationship is all about you. When I hit it off with a girl now, I now approach it with the perspective of schrodingers relationship, until we've genuinely got to know each other we both be consider compatible and not compatible, you know like schrodingers cat experiment , where its either dead or alive until you open the box. Still stops you fixating on a person and being open to any possibility seeing either outcome as beautiful. YOU DO NOT NEED ANYONE TO BE HAPPY.
  12. Everyday i'm becoming more and more conscious of the fact that my time on this planet is fleeting and temporal, The biggest blocks in my life right is the knowledge of loosing loved ones, I try to savour every moment with them and not take them for granted like I did as a child,but when I see them it doesn't feel enough like drinking salt water to full-fill your thirst. Ultimate peace for me would be knowing I might never see them ever again tomorrow and still be happy, because right now I feel they're essential to my fullfillment in life
  13. I know this sounds arrogant and conceited, but everywhere I look people are just sucked into pop culture and mindless entertainment , talking about justin bieber or talk shows or some new fad. Whenever I visit back home I see my family stuck in front of the tv watching the same old soap operas. My housemates love deep conversations about spirituality, humanity and life etc, but seems more orange spirituality like they engage in it if they found it entertaining. Rather disillusioned by dating, my self actualization development and spiritual interests are not compatible with their lives, they rather just go through the motions of what everyone else is doing working for tomorrow only to come home and do the same mind numbing stuff everyone else is doing. Then theirs women who preach about spirituality on their bio to seem cool, but if you mentioned it , it soon becomes clear they dont care about it at all or know anything about. I've met a few women that were into deeper topics and interests but they didnt agree with psychedelics and thought of me as druggie waster if i planned a trip. I feel as I delve deeper in spirituality and self actualization, I will become more isolated, I'm not to bothered about it, I don't need anyone and still enjoy going out to learn about people and myself,but I can't just stand by and get sucked into this unconscious rat race. Can they not see they're going to be dead soon, they'll blink twice and they'll be sitting in a nursing home wondering where all those years went. My great uncle was a quiet man, I assume he probably has mild autism like me, but it wasnt a known 'thing' back then. He started to open up to me in hospital in his last year that he'd wished he'd taken so many opportunities, i asked him what his biggest regret was and he said " all my life I never felt truly myself, like I was just following what was expected of me, back in my day people were close enough to being forced to get married , pressured to have children and work endlessly to maintain all that and if you didn't follow that, you be an outcast". I Suppose things are better nowadays, my parents and their friends aren't trying to push me and their daughter together or work a specific job or have specific interests, but most people seem asleep.
  14. 1. swearing is fine in a relaxed environment and not used to intimidate everyone.2 I'd roll my eyes at that insult, like its so lame 3. someones sex life is noone elses business. 4. just ignore it mate or have a witty comeback