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Although I agree with all you have written, Salvijus, there is a third formulation that at least I prefer: The coffee table observes itself. Perceptions perceiving themselves. When it feels like that, it is stable. At least for me. And if the coffee table is gone, and you are gone, you are not aware of yourself (Nirvikalpa, Deep Sleep, Cessation). But "Nothingness & Infinite Potential", with a potential for sentience. That is when all dualities collapse in the Always Here Reality that One truly is. And when being awake to That Nothingness/Absolute Reality in daily life, one is not a Witness or a human, but One has a witness or human. In the Reality that One is. Totally nondual. Then "one" gets out of the way, and lets Awakened Awareness do what the you/human did before. And at least in my case, that works more smoothly than the illusion that was in place with the separate self-show before. Water by the River We are that Reality. When you understand this, you see that you are Nothing, and being Nothing, you are Everything. That is all. - Kalu Rinpoche

The Clap of the One Hand/Reality/True You is still there when the light-show of the visual field, and every other formless arising, is switched off. Then "It" is just Infinite Potential, Nothingness, initially unaware of itself. Perception and Awareness (which is always "of" some appearance) comes when something appears. Before that, "It" is initially unaware of itself, but with the potential for sentience. Nothingness with a potential for awareness (of something). In one of my last posts, I described Massaros (Conversations with a Sceptic) example of Infinite Vastness/Nothingness, and suddenly a water pistol is imagined: Before that, no awareness, no nothing. Just Infinite Potential/Nothingness. Initially unaware of itself. So what is more fundamental? Switch "everything off" (Nirvikalpha, Deep Sleep, Cessation), et voila.... But then it is not nothing, but Nothingness, since IT/You has the potential for sentience, and Infinite Potential, since "It/Reality" can be aware of something if something is imagined/manifested/duality appears. Infinite Potential includes Infinite Intelligence and Infinite Love and so on.... When you contact this always here Reality/True Being/Nothingness/Infinite Empty Consciousness-Suchness deeply, and it becomes your True Core/True Identity (which it has always been, but one preferred playing the games of mistaken identity/separate self), then the clear light show of the visual field automatically becomes less important than the Always Here Reality/Abyss. The light show can actually go dark. Nothingness. You are not aware of yourself there, that would be too much movement. The eye can't see itself. But You/Reality has the POTENTIAL for sentience. That Infinite Nothingness is that in which "everything", every appearance the Visual Field, floats in in a nondual way. IT is always here. Behind your eyes, so to speak, and literally . The Nothingness behind your head, and "around" your Visual Field. The Nothingness "below" and in every appearance. Actually every appearance IS this Nothingness, appearing as appearance. Its the Groundless Ground of everything. It is that which gives you absolute Freedom, and Eternity in the palm of your hand. Practically speaking: When the "access" to the Absolute is available in a stable way, it is this aspect that "one" tends to talk about values highest, and identifies with. Not so much the Illusion-Light-Show. But of course the Nothingness is the "substance" or groundless ground of all appearances, in a total nondual way. They are not separate. But the Nothingness/Infinite Potential is more fundamental than the Appearance Clear Light Show. Selling Water by the River

imagine infinite sounds playing right now. We cannot imagine it, but being infinite, multiplied by infinite infinitely, would be absolute silence. and the same if you listen to absolute silence or realize absolute nothingness, it automatically opens up and manifests itself as the flow of infinite "things". the quality that you say must be immutable is the infinite quality, and to capture it you have to do 5 meo in my opinion. infinity is god, it is total plenitude, total love, and at the same time total emptiness and zero. since this cannot be understood by a linear mind that dissects and defines, it is necessary to break that mind with 5meo Yes but there is not observer and objects, that's the thing, just the infinity experiencing itself, seeming that there is a subject and an object. If you observe yourself, where is the subject and the object? Are the same

Interesting. Allow me to challenge this view. By definition absolute means that which never changes. So an open question becomes. Do sounds change? Yes, all the time. Does silence ever change ? No Does silence have degrees? No Does silence have different forms? No By definition only the silence is absolute, never changing, without any levels. It is our true nature, pure witness, primordial awareness. Out this nothingness/silence comes the sound/manifestaion. And manifestaion is not absolute it is relative. By definition no sound, no cloud, no phenomenal experience can be absolute (unless your definition of absolute is something else) This would be my counter perspective to what you sayed that only the absolute exists. I think there's a flaw in logic there.

Then the next stage of nonduality would be to recognize that silence and sound are inherantly one. But still silence remains the absolute and sound remains the relative. We can have silence without the sounds, but we can't have sounds without the silence. Or we can have sky without the clouds but we can't have clouds without the sky. Nothingness is king, manifestaion is the queen.

@Breakingthewall i think you're talking about two experiences or two states. one state is when in our perception everything is one Another state is when in our perception we feel seperation and duality In this context enlightenment is an experience or a state of perception. When clouds of ego are veiling the awareness it feels like everything is fragmented. When clouds of ego are gone, all sense of separation is gone. Yea, that's why it's called nothingness btw. Intangiable, incomprehensible, immesuarble, the womb of existence. Where all states come and go, even the change of perception is happening inside this awareness that undergoes no change. Not sure where im going with this one even

Psychedelics are awesome when done together with meditation. I believe that efficient meditation systems (like for example Pointing Out the Great Way, Brown), explained in an efficient way, plus Psychedelics (but with coaching from somebody who has walked the path to the end and knows the traps) is the future. Where there is potential, there are (as ususal) also risks and traps. Let's look at Wilbers perspective on the risks and downsides: Main Points from Wilber: The downside comes with people that only use psychedelics or drugs and I found that over the years they just become mean. That somehow it just kind of closes them down it's like you keep doing it and you keep doing it you keep doing it doesn't quite cause the transformation. It can cause a peak experience but generally not a transformative experience and some people like David data will say that you know for altered changes of state to contribute to transformation permanent transformation it has to be basically in endogenous and not exogenous it has to be has your own. See my Endohuasca-Theory and Links to it above. The people that do use both and use it as a sacrament I think an enormous bit out of it. My personal opinion: When you think that the meditation path to make it permanent is not doable for you (for whatever excuse, like genetics) , or seems to unpleasant, maybe you use an inefficient meditation system. Try the one a mentioned above (Pointing Out the Great Way, Brown). I get no roalties or kick-back-paymanents by the way, just love the method/system Agreed, most meditation system on the market have an abysmal "success" rate of Enlightened Ones. But there are some really good ones also. And non of these efficient systems have used Psychedelics + good coaching on top. That is where I believe is the future. Exploring the Multiverse is all nice and important and a wonderful pioneering effort. But as soon as you draw your love/happiness out of the sublime beautiful experiences/understandings, you are playing the same samsaric game of every unenlightened sentient being chasing good emotions to avoid suffering, the usual merry-go-round-cycle. But on a very high level, with quite a show . When psychedelics boost the narcissm/grandiosity of the separate self, well: Best regards from Maya, she just loves you too much to let you go... If you can be "gaslit" on any realization from psychedelics and need to put your foot down: Well, probably the realization of your True Identity (Reality itself) is a bit shaky, or a bit preliminary. The Real Thing can't be shaken. Because You are It, like in "never can not be It". And if you dragged home an alien from I don't know where, and feel like you have become the special-alien-of the day, maybe check if you have received a very seductive love-letter from Maya herself, and consider ordering the Men in Black for the Alien, together with their Flashthing/Neuralyzer that can make you forget: https://meninblack.fandom.com/wiki/Neuralyzer And maybe that Neuralyzer makes you full empty, makes you get rid of the last filters of the separate self, which are just a very very empty, already nondual/mere appearance "feeling" of individuality, a vastly intelligent, potentially "alien" nondual nothing, understanding a lot of the mechanisms of God and the Universe, but still a nothing with the last filter attached to it: Individuality-Arisings (in Wilbers wording, the Transparent Witness, see Religion of the Future), "seeing/looking at" a vast mere appearance Multiverse hovering in Nothingness. So not fully empty yet. And that is the "last few percentage clouds" blocking stable realization, or the sudden Full Enlightenment. Because if the last filters/elements of the separate self go, you can sustain the realization/bliss sobre in daily life.... . Because, if you understood/got rid of all separate self filters IN the psychedelic state, why shouldn't you be able to keep that Realization in daily life? The world gets a shimmering lucid hologram like imagined appearance-illusion-show when you have engaged your Endohuasca-System, which is done with getting rid off these last separate-self elements, see my previous post. At least my experience, and that of countless others in the history of mankind. Why should exactly the Psychedelic-Aficionado not be able to do that? No Endohuasca-system? Well, the receptors in the body seem to be working just fine... Or maybe a different Buddha-Nature? Sorry, just kidding... And if there is no Neuralyzer around, maybe try an efficient meditation system, get to the last stages of Nonmeditation-Yoga (spontaneous automized meditation without a doer still active) And after having used the Neuralyzer or an efficient meditation system, after having looked deeply into the Empty Abyss of your own True Nature/Nothingness, when you are really everything because you are really totally Nothingness (with no 5% clouds remaining), maybe then go hunt for the alien again. But this time, not for getting the love and sweetness of Understanding-experiences or whatever to break the cycle of suffering, but to express the bliss and love of your True Nature that you have then 24/7 going on from your own core. And if one feels gaslit about what I have just written, see the point above: "If you can be "gaslit" on any realization from psychedelics and need to put your foot down: Well, probably the realization of your True Identity (Reality itself) is a bit shaky, or a bit preliminary. The Real Thing can't be shaken. Because You are It, like in never can not be It." And if in doubt: Call these gentlemen, let them take care of the Aliens, look at the Neuralyzer/Flashthing, and get fully empty. But still, the Psychedelic pioneers, facing the unknowns of the Multiverse, exploring Alien intelligences, some even catching an Alien beast or two and dragging them home, going alone boldly to where no one has gone before, facing dangers that nobody else faced before... If there is some material for the movies of the future looking back to our time, where if not there is the true hero's journey to be found... I just hope that they get back from the trips, integrate their experience, get their mindstream awakened all the time, and live happily realized ever after, radiating the love of their own True Being, and maybe even getting the roalties from the upcoming movies of the Psychedelic Heros Journey based on their biography! Bon voyage! In the meantime, It’s for sure one of the most interesting shows on this planet to be seen. At least, it for sure has my attention! Respectfully Yours & mind the possibility of the Bear Manoeuvre in the signature-link below Selling Water by the River

Beautiful post, agree on all of that. Enlightenment is both a state (Understanding/Realization and certain energetic nondual/mere groundless appearance state) but also a waking up/removing the clouds to the Reality/True Self/Enlightenment that is always here, that is Absolute Reality itself, and when called Buddha Nature the core of each sentient being, and knowing that to have always been the case. Like with many pointers to the Absolute, the pointers highlight only one side of the coin, like Advaita True Self/Absolute Consciousness (positive definition), and Buddhist Madhyamaka Emptiness (negative definition). And in Absolute Reality, these paradoxes collapse, since they all point to the same Reality/"thing/referent". Absolute Reality contains the pointers. Once realized, there is no paradox or contradiction left, it makes fully sense and couldn't be any different. It doesn't stay paradoxical. I also believe (but I can't proove it) there is a kind of "Endohuasca-System", that when one is (1) proficient enough with the separate self arisings (like knowing them, even the most subtle ones, like a separate self feeling/sensation/localization/concept/... ), and (2) is fast enough in spotting them/cutting them off (since they arise much much faster than normal thinking, like maybe 20-30 arisings of separate self sensations per second, while thinking "against" these arisings brings maybe maximum 1-3 thoughts elaborated per second, if at all). that explains why you can't "think" your way to shutting off the separate self, thinking is just too slow. It has to be automized, Nonmeditation Yoga-style of the Mahamudra-System. Spotting them when you know their nature as Emptiness/Consciousness/Suchness immedeately cuts them off, at least with some proficiency in the Skill of Reckognition of the Mahamudra-System (see Pointing Out the Great Way, Brown). funny thing is: When one tries to do that, the emerging of thoughts frequency gets much faster. Like a protection-mechanism of the Illusion/Maya. When I learned to finally be fast enough and got faster than this increased speed of thought-emergence, and didn't get distracted or "captured" anymore by the high-speed-emergence-flow of thoughts, the following happened: (1) and (2) trigger some kind of "Endohuasca-System" in the body, which removes the solidity of the visual field, makes it increasingly luminous/hologram/mere appearance/groundess floating in Infinite Nothingness, like Psychedelics do. And it also bring a lot of bliss. https://dmtquest.org/endohuasca-magic/ That was at least my experience: first major parts of the separate self Gestalt Structure/emerging thoughts go, then the visual field/world becomes nondual/luminous/mere appearance hovering in Infinite Nothingness and with that as a basis, more and more subtle separate self elements/clouds go and all of that in a funny merry-go-around (meditation experience/state -> Realization/Understanding -> Deeper meditation experience/Luminosity/... -> Deeper Realization/Understanding of more subtle separate self element, ....) , like a positive feedback-loop, slowly burning away the clouds. Which can sound maybe harsh or bad or unpleasant, but it is exactly the opposite. Somewhere along the path it was learned that these separate-self arisings are to a large part all the unpleasant stuff, suffering, dissatisfaction,... , and that evaporated as well. And while resting in a very mindful, empty state, when the mind-stream starts getting nondual (and even before that), I learned that I can produce my own good emotions/states, like directly getting the bliss from within. That disabled then slowly all the separate self arisings that didn't feel well. So actually a lovely process, best thing that has ever happened to me. In the beginning, its difficult, but at some point it becomes quite pleasant and continues by itself. Pushing the rock over the mountain-pass, and then it rolls downhill without effort. Please excuse the length of my musings. Selling Water by the River

Beautiful summary. Please allow me some musings on the topic.... What You/Reality/Truth are is/was/will be always the case, can not be different or change. And yet "IT" can be clouded over, like the sun can be clouded over with clouds of separate self arisings (the illusion of being something different than what one really is - Nothingness, but with potential for sentience, and the whole infinite field, nondual. "We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all. Kalu Rinpoche"). looking at a solidified (not just mere luminous groundless appearances) and external (out there, not nondual) world. The sensations of "solidity, not luminous/mere appearance" and "external, not nondual" are specific arisings that can arise in the opening of Reality that one really is, but they don't have to. If they don't, IT/Truth becomes much clearer (mere appearance show hovering in eternal Nothingness). This "on top added" clouding over (separate self arisings) can go, can be understood, seen through. The thought arisings of the person move in You like for example the wind. Arising, but just something happening in Big You/Reality. Then, one has always access to the real state of things (what is always true). Blowing away/seeing through all cloud-arisings of the separate self via certain meditation methods over the years blows away all clouds. Psychedelics are generating a hurricance to blow away most/nearly all of these clouds at once, but it leaves one not able to blow them fully away afterwards without the hurricance. Psychedelics are wonderful tools to get previews and explore the Multiverse/manifested reality, and combining them with efficient meditation methods to see through all (!) separate self arisings is the best of both worlds. Enlightenment has been defined as realizing/deeply understanding/awakening to that the separate self doesn't exist, has never existed, and will never exist. It just seems to exist, like a clouding over of the sun, an illusion, seeing the rope as a snake for example. The sun in this metaphor is what would always be true, always be the case. The Eternal Enlightenment that is always here, the Buddha-Nature at the core of every being, who are already enlightended but don't know it. The sun/IT has always existed, always exists, and will always exist. The clouding over is temporary, a temporary state, and can be removed. The clouding over state (sun not visible, but still "there" would be a state with no Enlightenment) corresponds to an unenlightened mind-stream, with duality and solidified "external" world present. But that doesn't make ones True Nature/Eternal Enlightenment a temporary state. Ones True Nature/Original Enlightenment/Buddha Nature is more fundamental than any state in it, clouded over or not. And if one fully realizes ones eternal empty True Nature, the eternal aspect dominates in ones being. It is more fundamental than the passing and changing illusory show/river of appearances. The eternal unmanifest empty side of Nothingness is more fundamental than the flowing river of manifestation/appearances/"Appearance side of manifest consciousness,->Szyper, Infinite Consciousness". The clouding over can be temporary be removed by a "hurricane/strong wind" of psychedelics, removing 95% of the clouds. When the hurricane/wind is gone, it snips back to being clouded over, and you can't see the last 5% of clouds while tripping (fully empty, but some individuality still left), because the sun already looks very visible. And exactly these last traces of individuality are what makes it cloud over later again. And these last 5% can make a lot of trouble, because they make you think you already removed all separate self arisings... here is where it can get a very interesting show, involving terrestrials/heaven and earth/and maybe even some extraterrestrials. Possibly sometimes even a case for these gentlemen, with the flash-thing... The clouds can be removed fully by seeing through them all, normally done by hundreds of hours in these states. Then, you can realize yourself to be the sun fully. And the difference between 5% clouds remaining and 0% is quantum. Or a deep deep shift in Identity, which remains. Understanding what one really is, and realizing it to ones core. A cloudless sky with only the sun is something fundamentally different than a sky with 95% sun and some clouds remaining. That last shift is certain. One can not miss the last shift. On all other Awakenings/Enlightenments before you are not sure if they are final. It feels like, but one is not sure. This one is. If one has to convince oneself that "this" is it, or decide on it, or if anybody/anything can shake one/gaslight one, well.... it is not it. Which is logical, because if one knows what one is one knows what one is, and if one is not completely sure, then one doesn't know what one is. And it brings the potential for psychological suffering to stop, because psychological suffering IS a big building block of the separate self arising Gestalt/structure. And if one fully see through that (the last 5% of the clouds), one gains the potential to literally cut off these suffering-arisings. If one fully knows what one really is (like in "no doubt possible"), and one can cut off all separate-self psychological-suffering-arisings, who or what could lead you to doubt or gaslight you? Hope I didn't lecture too much. Maybe some find that helpful. For those that don't, please don't do the bear manoeuvre shown in the link in the signature, listen to the "Blackeyes Peas, Where is the love" video, and enjoy the show. The point of the ride (separate self show) is the ride, and if that is still attractive, let's continue the ride... Selling Water by the River @UnbornTao: Can't help it ....

Hi Phil, some ideas: 1) Does the real You/Reality/Infinite Consciousness possibly change? Not the appearance side, but the Absolute Subject, the Absolute Empty Abyss? Reality itself? Of course it can't. You are You. The Absolute Subject. You never changed, can't go anywhere. You are all there is, and ever can be. The appearance side is just an appearing imagined show, relative stuff, always changing. Not stable. And not really existing, just a mirage happeing in the True You. 2) If you fully know what you are, how can you loose that? It can solidify again if you loose the nondual/mere appearance state when the psychedelic wears off. But it doesn't have to. It can stay stable without psychdelics. And that can be done with transformative practices, mainly meditation, to become fully empty, no separate self left, that you ARE the whole infinite Reality outside of which nothing exists. And its not that you need to be a genetic freak or something, or ten years of facing the wall. With the right techniques, it is very doable. 3) Maybe "From my experiences with psychedelics, it seems that I am enlightened in that state but come down to an unenlightened state when the psychedelic wears off" is not the Enlightenment that Ralston is talking about? And all the other enlightened sages? Maybe the "enlightenment with psychedelics" is not the final thing, exactly because it wears off, and you can only have the full insight when you are fully empty, and zero filters of a separate self left/not transcended? I know, many won't like this idea. And that only the full transcendence of the separate self finally ends suffering. And still, its only logical that to become the Totality of the Infinite Reality that You are, the separate self has to go... because IT IS SEPARATE and not the total nondual infinite Oneness of Absolute Reality. Feel deeply into you heart: If you dont fully become what you already are, if you don't give up every filter of the separate self that cuts the infinite nondual reality in pieces, makes it solid, takes its luminostiy/mere groundless appearance/magic show character.... These separate self arisings still running when you got out of the psychedelic state are what solidifies your world again. And they were never fully gone in the psychedelic state. If you get this nondual mere appearance state sobre without psychedelics, then you are sure you have transcended and cut down the separate self arisings sufficiently and fast enough, else you wouldn't get that state that allows insight into Absolute Reality or the True You. And then its stable, you don't come out of it, it is always there. And you can also call that a state. But it is always accessible and present then, and you fully understand/know/Realize that the Real You/Reality/Infinite Consciousness doesn't change, only what appears in it, the appearance side. So it is a certain paradoxon, but only before entering the Gateless Gate. Afterwards it is as clear as day, and everyone who has had that has used terms of IT being permanent and the final realization. When You know what You are, You know what you are and what Reality is. And that never changed and can't change. There can only be "confusing-arisings" in it, clouding the understanding and realization of what you are. But when you can touch/understand the always eternally here Reality, everything changing and appearing seems more like a magic show, an illusion, just appearing, in that which you are that stays constant. Of course it is all nondual and essentially the same, but the appearance side is TEMPORARY/CHANGING/FLOW/ILLUSION, while the Real You/Fully Empty Subject/Abyss never changes. Because it is NOTHINGNESS, nothing specific at all, unchanging, Reality itself, the Empty Abyss of the Eye that can't see itself. Because it couldn't change. It is the only "thing" than never can change. It is Reality itself, fully empty, but with the potential to manifest itself as any show possible and marvel at its temporary illusion show. Water by the River

Why do you think buddism deny the Absolute? Absolute nothingness, absolute void, cessation, dharmakaya is the classic buddist awakening.

Bro, you should've sayed this from the start. Now i understand what you're trying to say. But the truth is, there are states of consciouness where there is zero love and zero hate or fear, zero emotion of any kind, zero bliss, zero joy, zero peace, zero quality of any kind, zero empathy, zero passion, zero desire, zero care, zero worry, zero interest in the world, zero involvement, , zero concern, zero regard for life or death, zero sense of time, just total absorbtion into nothingness. And ramana was quite famous of his absorbtions into this state. A being who abides in this state need not necessarily be full of passion and compassion to save the world. That's what bodhisatvas do. Some just dissolve into void and vanish without any care about others lol. Ramana just happened to have some compassion as well. So... im not sure where im going with this myself now.

Some possible answers 11. Anything that causes contraction as oppose to total surrender and allowence. (Fear, hate, selfishness, judgement etc) 12. Love has no opposite, Love is the only reality, everything else is a false misinterpretation of reality 13. Nothingness. Void, primordial silence.

Spiritual Autolysis Journal Entry #4 - Sat Apr 22 '23 - 8:52 AM Lower self: Hello.. How are you today? Higher self: Good.. How are you? Lower self: I'm doing alright.. Higher self: What are you thinking thats true today? Lower self: I think that emotions are true. Emotions are sensations that course through my own body. And each emotion has a distinct flavor to it. For example, when I am angry, my breathing gets shallow and I can feel tightness in my chest. When I am feeling content, I feel very light but almost heavy at the same time, in which I don't feel like getting up or moving a muscle. When I am feeling eager or 'icy' I have thoughts racing through my head of me doing cool things. Each emotion is a distinct thing. Higher self: Okay.. I don't recall ever establishing that this body that you are referring to is your own. Lower self: This body is my own. I control it. I experience the emotions that course through this body, Ben's body. Higher self: Okay.. You experience the emotions that course through that body.. Lower self: Yeah 'I' do. I experience the anger, I experience the pain, I experience the contentment, I experience the embarrassment. Higher self: You do you say.. and what is you? Lower self: I... I am... the body? The mind? Nothingness? Higher self: Nothingness? Where did you get that one from? Lower self: I heard it from somewhere. Higher self: What do you think it means? What would be the direct experience of nothingness? Lower self: A direct experience of nothingness.. I would bet that the thoughts in my head would need to cease, then I could experience nothingness. Higher self: Meditation would help with this. Lower self: I agree. Lower self: Ooooooh.. I've got a good one.. I exist. Higher self: You exist, huh? What is existence? Lower self: Existence.. damn that is a hard one. Higher self: Thats what she said Lower self: *Smiles reluctantly* Dude.. You're supposed to be the mature one. Higher self: I couldn't help myself. *Straightens up* Please continue. Lower self: Existence is... I don't know... Its just when something is there, it is just there.. If it wasn't there then it would not exist, and it would just be empty air. Although empty air still needs to exist. Everything exists.. Everything is existence. Higher self: Is anything not existence? Lower self: Well, anything that is not existence does not exist and therefore I would have no awareness of it, so no I can't name anything that doesn't exist because if I possibly could name it, then that means that it would exist. Higher self: Very good. Lower self: Yeah, thanks.. But I feel like I didn't get anywhere. Higher self: When something dies, does it no longer exist? Lower self: Yeah, I think so. I mean the body remains on the earth, but the consciousness part of the body no longer exists, but then again I am just assuming this because I've never died. But what I do know is that when my Grandma died a few months ago, I can no longer go visit her and talk to her. This body that I would call Grandma is now not responsive, therefore I guess it doesn't exist, or again to put it more accurately since the body is still there, the consciousness of the body ceases to exist upon death.. Yeah thats what I'm going to go with. Higher self: Okay.. The consciousness of a body ceases to exist upon death.. Lower self: Yeah.. *Looks at higher self for validation* Higher self: And what is consciousness? Can you explain this to me? Lower self: Ughhhhh... I was hoping that you wouldn't ask me that. I just heard Leo saying that everything is consciousness, I've also heard of Jed McKenna's theory of everything which is what he calls 'C-Rex' which means consciousness is king, or.. Higher self: Yes... But you need to come up with your own defini... Lower self: I know, I know... Just give me a second. *Long pause* Lower self: I think that consciousness is... well... I don't know.. Can we start off with a definition from Wikipedia or something? Higher self: *Smiles* Sure, one sec... Okay, this is from the Google dictionary: "Consciousness is the state of being awake and aware of one's surroundings." Lower self: Okay, well this definition contradicts what Jed and Leo are saying.. It says that only sentient beings are conscious. For example, a rock is not awake and aware of its own surroundings. Higher self: How do you know that a rock is not aware of its own surroundings? Lower self: Because... Because of science! We know that rocks are not conscious, same with grass and dirt and my Knicks hat... Not conscious! Higher self: Isn't it true that, according to science, the stalks of a plant will grow towards the sun's rays because it will help it photosynthesize and survive? Lower self: Well yeah, but those are plants, plants are living things, they just don't have a brain or lungs or a heart.. So yeah I guess plants are conscious, even according to the Google dic. But a rock cannot possibly be aware of its own surroundings.. Its just a stupid rock. Higher self: Woah.. That rock could be someone's daughter.. Lower self: No it couldn't! They don't reproduce! Higher self: Don't they? Where did they come from? Lower self: Rocks? I don't fucking know! Higher self: Well then try to come up with an answer... What... did they just appear out of thin air? Lower self: Sure.. Yeah lets just go with that so that I can get on with my day... Higher self: *Looks at lower self sternly* You know you're not done yet. Lower self: *Sighs* Rocks... Where did they come from... Well according to science... Higher self: Yeah lets start with that.. because science has all the answers.. Lower self: Okay, you know what? I do have a theory for who the father of rocks are, and it is God. God essentially created rocks, as well as all of the other things on this Earth and in this solar system, and in the entire universe. He created everything, thats what I believe. He created existence! Higher self: You don't think there was existence before God? Lower self: How could there be? God created the world, or the universe, so if he created the universe, then it did not exist before him. Higher self: Yes, but who created God... God does exist, doesn't he? Lower self: Yeah he does... Um.... Well ... Can't he just be, like, all encompassing... Higher self: All encompassing? I'm not sure what that means. Lower self: Yeah me neither... Well maybe this time thing that we think of as true, in which the universe must have began with a big bang.. Maybe the idea of time isn't real and there isn't this linear path in which we need to trace the origins of the universe back to anything. It would be as though time is just an infinite and endless loop. There is no start to it and no end. We humans have come up with this start-and-end-cycle theory because we die.. We as human beings are born and then we die. But maybe the universe doesn't play by those rules. And if the universe is infinite, then there would be no start or end, it just goes on forever and ever. Higher self: Hmmm... Thats an interesting theory that you've got there. Lower self: Yeah.. and it makes way more sense than that big bang bullshit. Look at that, I've outsmarted the scientists. And also... You know how the symbol for infinity is a sideways "8" ... its an infinite, closed loop, there is no start or end to it. Higher self: Alright, I think thats enough for today. Lower self: Yeah.. I'll see you tomorrow!

This is cool I think the eye has some representation of the universe the pupil being the I The Iris being the universe The limbal ring being God or the edge of the universe and the Screla the white part being the white light or white hole of god or maybe heaven When our pupils are dilated we become more spiritual or closer to nothingness and spirit Like if we stare directly into anothers eyes we are staring into the nothingness of ourselves and there can be great fear or love come from that depending on who or how long. Many different types of emotions can be taken by gazing into another Self.

Yes. I thought for a long time that the Absolute is maybe somehow "behind" space, or being bigger than the Visual Field (that was already at least sometimes nondual at that point in time). Or that it encompasses the visual field. At some points, it dawns on oneself that all of these "probings", attempts, investigations.... are just more arisings happening within you. And the space is imagined IN YOU. If you try to looke for this line, drawing this line, imagining this line, you imagine it WITHIN the space you imagine. It all appears or is being imagined. You will never find the Absolute in any object, any arising, any location. Any self, any appearance, any anything. But this process of "emptying out" everything, to fully BECOME it, to see each an any arising (thought, appearance, understanding, whatever,n+1) as arising in YOU, you have to become fully empty. Nothingness. But yet, that process has to be walked earnestly to the final end, and can not be shortcut. Also because the Absolute is also infinite, IN-FINITE. Nothing you can measure, find, define. Nothing finite. No arising/appearance, however subtle. Even formless arisings (thoughts, formless subtle level lightshow, whatever), are not it. Because IT is timeless. Always there. Formless arisings also come and go. Nice book on that topic: Szyper, Infinite Consciousness. And then, when You are fully empty, you can be fully everyting, nondual. A more concise formulation, and much more beautiful than my ramblings above: “We live in illusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality. We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all.” ― Kalu Rinpoche Perfect. If the thinking can solve all open existential questions, you can rest in the Suchness that you are. Nonmeditation-Yoga. You cut off all separate self arisings in real time (since you are proficient enough in that "cutting off" immediately when these "thought-capsules" arise out of consciousness. They havent even been elaborated out, that comes later. Funny thing is, at some point you notice they emerge with the full content of the thought already "in there", and that gets elaborated later and more slowly. The Skill of Reckognition in Daniel Browns "Pointing Out the Great Way". Getting that high-speed cut-off in place triggered for me the step from just cutting thoughts/separate self arisings, aka emptying the mindstream while the "external" world is still solid & out there, to the visual field getting nondual, centerless, luminous mere appearance. So that transforms the Visual Field slowly to mere groundless appearances. You feeling localized ends, the localization dissolves. My theory for that (but I have no proof), is that the Endohuasca-System of the body gets activiated. To cut off efficiently all "Great Doubts/Questions", as I termed them for myself, like the questions above on the nature of space/time/separate self, you need to understand the answer and "how it works". Or you push through with Koan-Meditation concentration-style. That also works, but I feel very sure that this would have taken me 5-10 times longer, and would have been much much (!) more unpleasant. How to "finish" time Mahamudra/Pointing Out the Great Way Style, and end up at the so called "Always Here Mind", the eternal or rather timeless Infinite Consciousness, thats another topic. If you are interested let me know. That is described for example in the Yoga of Unelaboration Chapter of Pointing Out the Great Way. Assumption/Theory: Meditation-induced and body-produced Endohuasca (DMT, 5-MeO, ....): What I assume is that a certain level of proficiency of cutting/transcending of the "harder/deeper" searate self arisings, and the "hard/deeper" existential questions (like space/time/....), or transcending and letting them just play out, but being aware of them as objects, being able to cut them anytime, see their arisings out of consciousness, their flow with in, and their disappearance, triggers probably some kind of Endohuasca-System, your body producing similiar chemicals (DMT,5-MeO, MAO-Inhibitors....) that you can also trip with when supplying them externally. To trigger that means staying in full mindfulness for a long time, having taken the meditation off the pillow and not getting distracted. The effects are very similiar to Psychedelics (nonduality, luminous mere appearance, groundlessness of all appearance, Infinity, timelessness, even shutting off the separate self/Ego (although not completely mostly. Some quite subtle feeling/filters/lenses of perceptions of Individuality (sth watching sth.) often remain): https://dmtquest.org/endohuasca-magic/ and that gives you the multiple hundreds/maybe thousands of hours that one needs in the "nondual timless infinite mere appearance visual field state" to get aware of every last subtle separate self arising. But that can be done in everyday life, at least while not being distracted too much. Of course, getting previews by psychedelics to confirm that there is something to be reached, to get to know the Nondual Infinite Field of mere appearance, maybe even visiting the causal Whiteout-Godhead of Infinite Potential: Awesome. But probably will not suffice in most cases to get one "on the other side". Then, finally, at the very end, the separate self is just a very very subtle feeling of individuality. Body, Location, Duality, time, all have gone a long time ago. Its just an Infinity of groundless mere appearance visual field showing up, limitless, already nondual(!) and luminous/mere appearing. And "a" nothing that is only aware of that. Like nearly nothing at all. Very very subtle and murky. Roger Thisdells No-Self, stage 4. And then you are ready for the Big Bang, that then can happen all by itself. Sudden Awakening. One can not force it. Crossing over happens by itself, resting long enough in that state, and letting it ripen. If one wants to do that only by tripping... well, I never read from or about one case where Full Enlightenment/Realization actually worked. But maybe there are cases. It takes too much time to get rid of the last subtle veils of the separate self, and by tripping you can also be distracted by the show/understanding/whatever. It always reads like some separate-self elements still well and alive and not transcended, no fully empty "No-Self" having looked totally in to the Abyss of Nothingness,but having had the hell of an infinite nondual mere appearance experience of a (for sure) very interesting visual field bubble or God or Alien or I don't know what. Plenty of stuff in the Multiverse to explore and understand, especially considering that it goes upwards the Holon-Pyramid forever (Planet-Monad creating/maintaining all perspectives on it, Galaxy-Monad, Universe-Monad, Multiverse-Monad, n+1). And plenty of stuff of the properties of God to project on the remains of the separate self... You are very welcome. I believe there are two elements installed in the universe, in order to not give Maya every advantage (she already has enough): 1.The radiating bliss/love of the Realized Being. 2. Any separate self teaching "down from up high" with any "superiority-raditation", marveling at its own ingeniuty/superiority is normally just keeping the illusion going, because: If you are all, how can you be superior to anything? Compassion and humility, and helping "others" look around the next corner of their own path, is indicated. Not sustaining the illusion with "I see the Matrix", and its "Saul Goodman". Sorry And luckily, that attitude isn't very sexy for the fellow seekers, see point 2. above. On the other side, how are realized Dzogchen-Realizers depicted in Tibetan Buddhism: Radiating great humor. Why? Nothing "other" holy anywhere.... at least nothing where making jokes is forbidden. But not a condencending/superiority humor that has fallen in love with itself. Because what is there that a "you" could be "superior" to? Superior to another aspect of Your Own Being? Easy way to cut reality in two or create duality, so a rather not so smart idea.... To tell the difference between these two kinds of humors, the hard-wirings of humans are usually quite well calibrated. Selling Water by the River

Hi Mike, I am not sure if I fully get your questions. If my answer below is not on topic, please excuse, and let me know. Below are some ramblings on the topic of space, and how it developed for me going from "self-existing-reality-aspect" to "imagined in Reality/Infinite Consciousness". which was one of the deciding steps boosting nonduality/mere groundless appearance in everyday life, making the constant intuiting of fundamental Nothingness/Reality much more proficient. At least for me, space itself was one of the last things to go from "self-existing" to imagined. "Time" as concept goes before, and is replaced by the Always Here Mind/Reality. Space is one of the first "Archetypes" necessary for manifestation in this dimension, and one of the last things to be seen through. Space is not fundamental (or self-existing), it is also imagined. Space (any kind, 3D, 4D, non-euclidian, whatever. Infinite amounts of different space-dimensions in Mathematics) is not any kind of Absolute Reality. It took me a long time to get this, thinking along quite similiar lines of thought as these you write above. Space is normally seen as such a fundamental that (at least for me) didn't even considering questioning that, or rather wondered how space "fits into the picture" of Ultimate Reality,which has cost me quite some time. The perspectives of Consciousness/Reality of the Leavitt picture (hyperbolic Euclidian Space of Visual Fields Bubbles, see previous posts) are not situated in any kind of space. The "Absolute or Nothingness/Primary Consciousness/Reality unaware of itself when no arising is imagined" is more fundamental than space. It is fundamentally totally spaceless. Space is imagined in it. As one of the first arisings. If there is nothing, there is no kind of space. Just Infinite Potential. See the Massaros Waterpistol example (Conversations with a Skeptic) I wrote about in previous posts. With space, I mean any kind of space, 3D, non-Euclidian, n+1 dimensions. Also, Indras Net is not situated in space. Leavitts Picture is a version of Indras Net. Both taken together are a nice working model. An Infinity of perspectives are imagined, and all but your own perspective forgotten in space. Psychedelics can loosen that quite a lot, you get access to more than "your" perspective of this life. But One Absolute Consciousness/Reality is aware of them all (since there can not be anything else than THAT, which is also a direct realization), and "that" also happens to be the stuff/material of all appearances, totally nondual. Perceptions perceiving themselves. And with no appearance/arising, this Reality is unware of itself, but with the potential for sentience. To make it more practical: If you have ever remained aware while going from Dream Sleep to waking state (or the other way round): There is a spaceless state in between, with NOTHING arising. Infinite. No Space. "vast", but not even vast. Just infinite. It is not 3D-Space. Just Nothing. No separate small you. Only Infinite Potential. Similiar to Deep Sleep (blackout), but like an infinite Nothingness/darkness suffused with light, timeless since there is no movement, just nothing. Your perspective is not situated in space then. Space gets imagined in the dream, and in "waking-life", so "before" or "after" THAT (and to be more precise, since there is no time/change in it, it all gets imagined IN IT). And of course, waking life is also a dream, just more coherent, happening in IT/You/Reality. With enough meditation/practice awareness can carry into these states, and instead of the usual Deep Sleep Blackout it can become something as described above, which of course makes the structure of reality more clear. Maya-Deep-Sleep-Blackout replaced by something more revealing (Infinite Darkness suffused with light, and not just a blackout). And I know, all of that is imagind right now, but these states still can occur. And its quite beneficial for understanding to experience them. All this logical reasoning can't get you to the big Awakening into what You really are. But a coherent explanation can help calm the thinking-mind during meditation (on or off the pillow), especially when its no longer only concentrative meditation, but meditation without concentration-support-object, and make it "compatible" for the Realization. And can help you boost your nondual/mere appearance visual field during that. With that goal, I write these lines. Not to logically get you to a conclusion/reasoning that you are IT, but to open the door to be available for that Realization in certain fully nondual states when you are fully empty of separate self arisings, and all perceptions appear as mere appearance. But I agree that the Zen-guys are way smarter than me: They would just mainly stay shut up, smile at you and make you meditate (boost nondual states), and say something like "go looking for the face before your parents were born". Which is actually the same thing I try to point to above. It is up for the reader if these ramblings of mine are of any worth. The Realization is a direct insight/understanding, Consciousness/Reality understanding itself, since there is nothing else. It is not "I always come to this conclusion, that is why I can rule out the rest, so that must be it". That is all nice and good (and necessary), some of the preliminary Awakenings/Enlightenments coming before the Big Bang, necessary to a certain degree and profiency to make the Mindstream "compatible" for the Big Bang. It is more like something undeniable, like a punch in the face. It is an unmistaken insight into what the True You/Reality are, no doubt/error possible. Self evident. Dead-certain (literally). The possibility that one can be gaslit on that Realization is something like a joke occuring in You/Reality. Or, as said in Zen: You can smile the devil in the face, and not be shaken in your certainty of What You are. Or: Who knows the spring does not drink from the cup. If "you" still can doubt it, it is not It. The more compatible your mindstream is with the Enlightened Mind (meaning no possible concept not seen through as thought arisings-in you, the last to go after space is "individuality" of a separate anything), the higher the chance for the Big Bang described above. Small "you" can't force it, but create circumstances where IT can happen (That is a large chunk of the essence of Nonmeditation-Yoga in Mahamudra). You become the whole Infinite "Thing" afterwards, with nobody watching "It". Perceptions perceiving themselves, Steven Norquist style. See my last post if you are so inclined. And yes, that haunted emptiness is the price to pay. But it just happens to look like there is a "real" price to pay, looking like that from before that Gateless Gate. Having gone through it, there never was a price to pay. To the opposite, you win It all. Everything. Everything there could ever be. What you "loose" is just the grip of the separate thinking/feeling arisings of the separate-self-Gestalt, which was nothing more than a a pattern of illusion-arisings (technically (and beware, reductionism ahead): patterns of phenomena-arisings of a separate self=structure=probability distribution of arising, a process of arisings with a certain systematic to it). Arising in you, but not self-existing: You can happily exist without it. What remains is Reality itself, and a person that isn't less functional than before, but more so (because you are not standing in the way of the optimal rollout of Consciousness/Reality). Short form: "I am not a human, I have a human". To fully get it, you need to awaken to it. Or said differently: If you would fully understand all of the above, you would be realized. On how long its stays "haunted", and how much this haunted reaction lasts: I write more about that in my last post. Maybe that is interesting for you, and I hope I didn't miss the questions too much. If I would have known that back in the day, I would have been faster and could have avoided some time-consuming mistakes. That is why I write it, not to lecture anybody or proove any fixed ideas of mine. The Ego is in large parts a cluster of beliefs, which it has to defend life-or-death style, because for the Ego its exactly that (at least with important core-beliefs). Similiar to what the bear does in the video in the signature of the post. If its not useful for you, just disregard it. In case I rambled on, please excuse the deviation. Selling Water by the River PS: If anyone feels inclined to comment on the post, please check if the bear-move in the link below (signature of the post) is being performed or not, and preferably the Blackeyes Peas and "Where is the love" (or something similiar) is being played in your emotional continuum. Then, any questions, comments, and suggestions are even more welcome than when the song is not playing. PSPS: "If God as you say are exploring though us does that mean those two bodies in that conversation is not looking at each other but that God is imagining and holding both of them within itself? And all these ideas of eyes and perception that aren’t actually in my direct experience are the ways I’ve been taking a false ownership of what’s really God’s experience of the other body as something belonging to my body?" Yes, pretty much like that. Various aspects: 1) Leavitts Non-Euclidian perspectives style, and most perspectives forgotten + 2) Indras Net that any perspective reflects all others + 3) aspect that for example even an atom or molecule has some kind of proto-perspective, reacting on similiarly leveled perspectives (=Holons in Ken Wilbers system, and similiar leveled = other molecules). And Holons/Perspectives all the way down (to infinity, quarks, ....) and all the way up (to infinity, like Galaxy-governing-monads, Universe-governing-monads, Multiverse-creating/sustaining/governing monads, and infinitely higher up n+1, and also completely "OTHER" realms, unimaginable to human mind with space/time/.... For that, see Jac O'Keeffe). And then one could start wondering of how much of that one can have explored/understood of all that manifested stuff in one single human lifetime. Next to Nothing. Infinitesimal so to say, if one is mathematically-prone. So maybe instead one fully realize ones essence and structure of Ultimate Reality/True You as Infinite/Nondual/Absolute Reality/Infinite Consciousness, and LIVE THAT as much as possible? With the bliss it brings? Not to talk about the "hang-over" of the (imagined of course) good Karma/tendencies that brings for ones next imagined manifestation (only if one is inclined to believe in that, which is of course not absolutely real, but part of the imagined show). But that would still be nice for the big show that "we" are all celebrating here So basically, with that model above, you don't need space as self-existing reality. Any maybe consider replacing the God word with some bundle like "Infinite Consciousness/Reality/God/True You". Just to not project/make God some self-existing external reality outside of you. Ultimate Reality is nondual, Infinite Consciousness Nothingness perceiving its own manifestations, perceptions perceiving themselves without separate self elements "clouding" the true state of things. God is not somewhere outside. God is right here. What imagines all of that? Biggest possible accident: Projecting/Confusing the Individuality-Arisings of the Separate-Self-Gestalt on God/Reality/Infinite. That is the worst possible seductive kiss from Maya imaginable. Yet, quite a show....

Steven Norquists descriptions are spot on. But the reactions of "Hauntedness/scary/nothing there/groundless" are ... more arising of the breaking-apart (or rather transcending) of personality/Ego/separate self dynamics at the face of the Abyss/Nothingness. You get used to that after some time. Not the small you, but the big You. The small you at some point just travels through You/Reality like the wind, like any other arising. Not anymore a separate self, but a part, something of the big You/Reality, still functioning, but not separate. Which then after some getting used to, is not scary, but becomes lovely. Norquist also said that he (and anybody other realizing that) wouldn't trade that realization and the ensuing states for anything else. The True You is all of Reality, so nothing more falls away than certain separate self illusion arisings in You/Reality. So nothing really essential falls away. Just some kind of mistaken Identity/Illusion. That caused a lot(!) of suffering in the first place. You are infinitely more than these separate-self arisings. But that realization is "protected" by those scary scary arisings (Haunted, No Person there, Green Mile,...). Courtesy of and best regards from Maya herself. How much its scary... ...depends also on the speed how fast you get dropped into that Abyss of the Real No-Self. If its fast, its probably more scary than on slowly dissolving over time. Then its more like a mild scary fear, like Francis Lucilles Enlightenment: https://francislucille.com/2019/01/spiritual-awakening/ Steven Norquists progress was rather fast, see his bio. There is a video-lecture of him, where he tells his story. The gateless gate can seem scary from the opening entry. Something like: First time? Hope my taste of humor is not misunderstood.... . In case it is, please recheck for relaxation the last video with the smoking stuff I posted. Selling Water by the River Norquist: "99.999% of the spiritual books and teachers out there are completely wrong. They are wrong for one simple reason, they are not enlightened, they don’t know what’s going on. So in order to keep the illusion of personality, of the idea that there is something or someone, they invent stories, or theories, or ideas, wear special clothes, perform certain rituals and so on. They teach this stuff. But the truth is so simple, it is laughable. Now let me make a clear distinction on one point, mystical experience is not enlightenment. You may have mystical experience, see God, get abducted by aliens, receive messages from an angel, contact your spirit guides, the list could go on. But always and forever, no matter what is going on the truth is, every experience, mystical or ordinary is a happening of Universe/Consciousness." 99.999% is probably a bit much, but a scarily large part teaches something like nonduality/God-whatever/Infinity with certain aspects/filters/lense of certrain remaining separate self elements still well and alive, and identifying with that. Maya is a High Performer . Nearly 100% success rate. And she can also handle the candidates on the finishing line also quite well...

Hey guys, so maybe you´ve been reading my previous posts about my experiences doing self inquiry. It´s about the 3. week right now doing it everyday for at least 30 minutes. I´ve realized that I think therefore I believe aka. I´m identified with the idea of the seperate me that´s sort of the collection of my body, emotions, desires, fears, thoughts and so on. I´ve also realized that there´s something that is identified with these things that is not me and can´t have a form of it´s own because it always takes on the form of the things which which make up my Ego/Self. My first taste or the beginning to grasp emptiness or nothingness. So currently I´m contemplating nothingness. I mean all the theory says you are emptyness, empty space, nothingness and so on and now that I feel like I´ve come a few steps closer to it I´m starting to approach it directly. But how the f**k is that possible. Really ! I´ve just realized that I´m always searching for something in this inquiry. Somting meaning some sort of form. That´s ultimately a total illusion right ??? It´s such a huge mindfuck. And as it is the case with all the other insights I´ve reiceived I feel like it´s just the beginning of the full realization that the insight points "me" to. How can we handle this paradox doing Self Inquiry. The paradox of trying to understand something via the mind that can not be understood by the mind. The paradox of being stuck in the world of form and in paradimes of physical reality and seperation and in that style of thinking discover something all inclusive with no boundries, that´s formless. After all thoughts are language and language is always dualistic and so on and so forth. In hope to receive some guidance. Much Love, Moritz

I made a list of questions to answer such as: “What is God?”, “Why God is?”, “Where did it come from?” etc. Previous time I did 4.5 grams of Enigma Mushrooms and I had rather a bad trip. This time I decided to go for 3.0 grams. I made a mushroom tea and took it with me outside. After drinking the tea, I sat on a stone near the beach and started going trough my questions. As I was doing that fear begun arising in me. I was afraid to get the same bad experience as the last time. I tried to concentrate on the questions but the fear was too strong. Also, my boundaries were dissolving again and it freaked the shit out of me. I told myself “Fuck this questions and fuck psychedelics” so I stood up, put my earbuds in and decided to walk until the end of the trip. As I was walking and looking around, I was seeing myself again. Everything was my mind, God’s mind. With this came realization that there is nothing in existence but my mind. Another wave of fear crushed on me. I was afraid that I would wake up forever and would never come back to the life. I couldn’t accept this idea so instead I tried resisting the experience. I was trying to convince myself that I’m not God, but of course it was in vain. In the back of my mind, I knew that whether I like it or not I am God and there’s nothing I could do about it. It’s an absolute fact and it will remain like this forever. So, there I was walking around trying to resist it. I was looking at my watch but it stopped. I knew that I’m imagining time. I asked myself “Now what? What am I gonna do?!”. I was like “Okay, fuck it, I’m just gonna Be for eternity and that’s perfectly fine”. I completely accepted my nature. With this fear begun dissolving. I started contemplating my questions. The first one was “Where did I come from?”. Of course, I’ve always been. Always means eternity and therefore it excludes any beginning or end. I also became conscious that I’m the only thing in existence, there can’t be any other gods or entities whatsoever. I’m the Source and I’m the Creator. I’m shining and everything is the reflection of it. I looked at my hands and as I was looking, I realized that I’m these hands and the body but paradoxically I’m not my body. My real body is nothing, it’s pure magical nothingness. Suddenly an interesting thought came to my mind “What if I can consciously go as deep as I want?”. Guess what? Of course, yes! Because I’m God! I started expanding my consciousness by will. I transcended all my memories and the past. I realized that nothing ever happened to me, all of it was just a dream that I made. All pain I’ve gone trough was illusion. All suffering that I saw all the wars, murders, rapes are just illusion. What is not illusion? Love. Love is the Truth. Infinite and pure God’s love is truth. God is just simply magical being made out of pure infinite love. When I realized it I transcended all possible fear. I couldn’t think of anything that would scare me. I became conscious that nothing bad will ever happen, it’s the absolute fact. I went deeper into the Love. I was experiencing deep bliss, happiness, joy, peacefulness and beauty! Of course, no words can explain it and there’s nobody to explain it to! Haha! A few other important things that I discover: 1. There is a paradoxical difference between Me and My creation that is also Me. My creation doesn’t have God’s will power and is controlled by Me. 2. All spiritual teaching are corrupted. They may contain some truth, but corruption ruins it. I created all spiritual gurus and teaching in order to delude myself. 3. Psychedelics the only valid tool to awaken. Meditation, retreats, yoga, breathing techniques are fantasy and can’t be used for spiritual awaking. All of them are good for human life (to be more peaceful, to be capable of accepting stuff, to be in control of the emotions etc.). I know this absolutely because I’m God. P.S. I’ve been doing mushrooms for the last 4 years but I had never had such deep awakenings. The quality of my trips on mushrooms has been improved after experiencing with 5MeO-DMT. Now mushrooms are as strong as 5MeO but way longer. I need to try combining 5MeO and shrooms. From God for God

What the "bottom" or Absolute is, is pretty clearly defined. Absolute Reality itself, with the potential to switch off the show, and still be there. That you and everbody can potentially realize, because you are it. Then you can have for sure many many understandings on how the whole show works, how Reality/God works, how this and any other dimension works, on what God/Reality can do, ... , n+1. Which you can go on exploring when you are either a) fully resting in your True Being also in daily life, having no filters/lenses/not transcended separate self elements not already seen though, and having cut off suffering and getting bliss directly from the Source. The last "filter/separate self-element" by the way is "a" fully empty nothing (not Nothingness), "watching" the Infinity, "being aware" of it, but not fully being it at the core: A transparent feeling of Individuality (which already has no form, is empty, you are already nothing you can point to at this stage), the last remnants of it, already nondual and the visual field fully mere appearance. But that last filter-elements is precicly what prevents getting the "thing" stable in daily life. And I bet an experience of the nondual field, or even of the Infinite Godhead, is "coloured" and experienced through that last very subtle filter. b) go on exploring having had experiences of the Absolute, and still some filters/lenses/not transcended separate self elements intact (in these experiences) and of course also in daily life, where exactly these filters/lenses/not transcended separate self element prevent: 1) realizing the Absolute without a bias (that is when the Absolute gets more properties than it really has. Because any property would limit it. Nothingness Halaw-style) 2) more important: not being able to be the nondual/groundless/mere appearing reality in everday life, and of course not getting the flow of bliss from "there" which then replaces the suffering of the separate self elements. These last filters/building blocks of the separate self are very subtle, very tricks, extremely fast occuring. You need to be very fast in spotting them, and letting them flow through you and not watching through these filteres/lenses, and you need to be very familiar with them. I am convinced, that most people need hundreds of hours (at that phase already off the pillow in daily life) to get familiar and fast enough to let these lenses/filters of the last separate self building blocks flow through them (similiar to any other object) , and not look through them as lense/filter. If you look through them, it kills the state of nonduality and the world being a dreamlike mere appearance mirage, floating in groundless Nothingness (These states by the way is what you also can get with Psychedelics). If you transcend these separate-self-building blocks/filters/lenses/contractions(!), probably the endogenous DMT-System of the body starts producing some kind of Endo-Huasca cocktail, see the fascinating research of https://dmtquest.org/questions-for-the-lion-tamer-1/ , especially chapter Chapter 24 – Endohuasca Magic. Your own illegal psychedelics factory in your body . Shortform of the above: a) Fully realize your True Nature (indicator: no more suffering-cycles in daily life) and then go exploring/understanding the manifestation and manifestation mechanism of reality and Reality or b) go exploring before the bliss of a) is in place. Both paths are valid, path b) can lead to path a) and non-suffering in daily life if done correctly (maybe with a bit meditation of the efficient variety added). Of course, the path a)-variety of ~98%+ of the Spiritual Marketplace doesn't work. I can fully understand Leos dislike of selling the weak soup of just No-Ego/No-Person or an "Enlightened Person (cringe) having Nonduality and perceiving themselves to be that", but that is another topic.... I have never questioned path b). I just question giving path b) a higher value and meaning than path a). For me, that is a bit like voluntarily hitting your knee with a hammer, and calling that superior than hitting the nail, and repeating it. Sorry, love ya all.... ( : I only wonder why anybody would call path b) with suffering "higher", and all paths a) "crap" and inferior. The state-highs and wonderful experiences delivered by understanding reality/God in my opinion only ease the pain of the remaining separate self suffering cycles. Yet, these Insights/Understanding-experiences are for sure truly wonderful and marvelous, probably the most beautiful experiences one can have, savored by highly developed souls which are attracted by such sublime experiences/understandings. But still: Caveat Emptor. But hey, what do I know? NOTHING . On good days a bit of NOTHINGNESS . And "I" love it, and IT loves me. . And I am fully open on the understanding and exploring of path b). Fully. Let's see what kind of alien stuff the brave and ingenious psychonauts drag home. I really look forward and am very curious. Selling Water by the River PS: Please don't beat me with the Broomstick . But I would be really curious on a substantial feedback from Leo. Thanks!

Hi Lilia, maybe you like these two quotes. They highlight how a large majority of the spiritual marketplace is still selling Nonduality, not the realization of Ultimate Reality/Absolute. Some even only sell No Ego/No Person, which comes before Nonduality/mere groundless nondual Appearance.... And some even call the "No Ego/No Person" No-Self. . Well, caveat emptor.... ( : Nisargadatta, in Consciousness and the Absolute: The Final Talks of Sri NisargadattaMaharaj edited by Jean Dunn "The world is your direct experience, your own observation. All that is happening is happening at this level, but I am not at this level. I have dissociated myself from Sattva Guna, beingness. The Ultimate state in spirituality is that state where no needs are felt at any time, where nothing is useful for anything. That state is called Nirvana, Nirguna, that which is the Eternal and Ultimate Truth. The essence and sum total of this whole talk is called Satguru Parabrahman, that state in which there are no requirements. After the dissolution of the universe, when no further vestige of creation was apparent, what remained is my perfect state. All through the creation and dissolution of the universe, I remain ever untouched. I have not expounded this part: my state never felt the creation and dissolution of the universe. I am the principle which survives all the creations, all the dissolutions. This is my state, and yours, too, but you don't realize it because you are embracing your beingness. " That quote of Nisargadatta is given in Halaw, God is Nothingness Halaw writes: "A major shortcoming with much of the nonduality pervading the modern spiritual marketplace is that it seldom acknowledges the Nothingness which permits ‘being’ in the first place. Awareness, Being, Presence—or some variation or combination of the three—and interconnectedness, seem to represent the extent of what modern nonduality is interested in. Nothingness, however, transcends even nonduality; for while the nondual whole encompasses everything—all of ‘being’, in fact—it does not include Non-being, which precedes and acts as the very basis of ‘being’ itself. Imagine: if nonduality, the interconnected matrix of all ‘being’, including mind or consciousness, were represented by an oil painting, then Nothingness is the canvas upon which the picture resides. Nothingness pervades the entire nondual universe; it is the principle that permeates everything. In other words, Nothingness allows nonduality to occur in the first place, just as it does ‘being.’ The reason that the human body, mind, consciousness/awareness, interpenetrate is because Nothingness allows them to exist—or rather, they exist as manifest Nothingness. This must be realized. Experiencing nonduality is not yet Enlightenment. We must penetrate deeper, past all sense of ‘being’, to the canvas below the paint to realize our and all beings’ true nature as boundless Nothingness. When that happens, ordinary mind becomes the Mind of the sages. Buddha Mind, then, is the mind’s recognition of its own empty, groundlessness, not as some eternal supreme principle called Awareness, but as the very living, conscious embodiment of Nothingness in this world, at this very moment. It is not an exaggeration to say that consciousness is the act of Nothingness being aware. To know ultimate Nothingness, jettison everything. That means the world, your body, mind, ideas, beliefs, saviors, prophets, Buddhas, and even consciousness itself. Everything in the manifest realm must go." But don't throw the raft away in the river before you crossed it.... A not so smart move, quite often seen and read. Maya has got some funny tricks up her sleeve... ( : Selling Water by the River PS: If all of this sounds bleak and like nothing-at-all: That Nothingness can create a new Creation "instantly". As it does every moment. It is not a no-thing-at-all (but Nothingness), but unlimited infinite Potential also. And the source of all sentience/awareness, initially unware of itself when no appearance is arising. IT "is" already everything, nondual. "IT" already makes every appearance groundless/mere appearance, the essence of every appearance is already Nothingness. Suchness. You, with a big Y. The Buddha-Nature at the core of every sentient being. At the same, it is the Absolute Abyss that can NEVER be seen as any object/arising, even by the highest Divinity. "The eye can't see itself"-style. Or God remains an eternal mystery to itself. Not on the arising/appearance side, and their mechanism. But with the Nothingness-aspect, the core of awareness/sentience, that can never be seen. And after dabbling with writing about the neither existing nor non-existing Absolute/Totality/Reality, let's conclude with somthing much more precise after all these impossible endevours. ( : Basho's Haiku: Into the ancient pond / a frog jumps / waters sound

So it all starts with my hobby being psychology for like 6 years, i started playing in virtual reality where you're using an avatar in the game using full body vr technology to interact with users in different (gaming) reality. I started doing alot of tests and discovered myself 100% how female psychology/biology works unconsciously. Consider this like Michael Newtons past life regression technique that the discovered. (We humans can discover alot of things by doing things on our own, these things that we discovered will be unknown to people) Basically reaching a higher level of consciousness in certain real life subject. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ For many years i was always thinking about our life purpose or what the purpose of life is, i discovered that the only real purpose of life on this planet is to reproduce. I discovered that low conscious female human brain subconsciously is mostly looking for good genetics, so she mostly will go for males that will show her good genetics in behaviour. The behaviour in male will mostly be based on survival, the main aspect of this is : If i reproduce with him, will my genes survive for thousands of years? This is just a very very small part of female subconscious. I was always thinking that the purpose of life is to reproduce because there is nothing else important to do here on earth, i was thinking about our ancestors. They have been reproducing for thousands of years just to get me here into this future, so i must not dissapoint them and reproduce myself???? Being a man with 10 children is more important then to be a billionare with 1 child??? Oh boy, i was wrong. ( You will know later) ___________________________________________________________________________________________ With my knowledge about female psychology/biology and knowing the purpose of life i applied to a sperm donor clinic, sending them consciously a very narcissistic e-mail. In the e-mail i bragged how much i earned, how good looking i was, that i fighted many times and had 0 losses, told them i achieve everything easily without doing much. After this, they called me for a donation appointment to see how good my sperm was and if they needed it. It was good enough and i could progress further, After sending my donor pasport i got called by a gynaecologist, he said due to corona he couldnt speak to me and sent me straight away to clinical psychologist. He would say things on the phone like : And you are good at fighting? I realized that he was being very judgemental and because of this e-mail he didnt want to talk to me and sent me straight to clinical psychologist but i also realized that it was a test he specifically said: And you are good at fighting? But ignored the sentence next to it where i said: I can achieve everything i want easily. His last sentence on the phone was: If you can pass clinical psychologist you can become a sperm donor. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ I was hoping that the clinical psychologist would be a female, this would be an ultimate test of the knowledge i have. She called me on the phone and started talking to me in a condescending voice like i was a little beby boy. During this phone call i was aware that she was talking to me like this because i sent a narcisstic email to the clinic and that this was a test. But i didnt know which test it was because it can be a test for many things that i was aware of. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ So after a month or so i went to the appointment with the clinical psychologist. She called my name and i walking behind her, first thing my intuition told me is that she had this narcissistic energy about her. When i walked into the room she asked me : Are you gay? I said: No is this genetic? She said: Some are born gay and some become gay. She said: Can you take off your mask we're sitting 2 meters from each other so there is no danger from Corona. I realized she said this so she can watch my mouth and see things more clearly in behaviour. I said: It doesnt matter to me and throwed the mask on the table. She was looking at the mask with a wtf look because i throwed it. After i throwed it she says: So how did you come to the idea becoming sperm donor? In a very condescending voice like i was a little beby boy. I was 26 at that time and she was 51. The only option i had from all the options on female psychology/biology is to stand up for myself and pass the assertiveness test, i started telling the story in a very heavy manly pitch with non squinting eyes to the point that she had to look down like she submits. I instantly stopped , she lifts her head up high and looks down on me (Then suddenly a random picture in my thoughts got sent to me out of nowhere the picture showed me a person in virtual reality that had exact her personality, it showed me by this what actions i should undertake to pass this interview against this person) and then left its back to the normal position and asks: What are your educations? (I said: Nurse . I said this to show her empathy and to let her know that i was probably an empath and also because this was my first education but i quit it during first year.) She looked surprised and shocked from my answer. ___________________________________________________________________________________________ So basically she was asking me all sorts of questions and doing tests, i was aware of every test and question and why she was asking them. I could pass everything easily, during this interview i felt that her consciousness wasnt on a very high level but that it was high and that i didnt meet anyone like her before. Because i was aware of everything she was doing to me and what purpose these tests/questions had. So i decided to take it a step further and apply my knowledge on her and see the results. I was answering all her questions and tests specifically that will make me look good to her subconscious. I noticed that during this interview it felt like i was being lead by higher power or maybe i was in a state of superconsciousness, the higher power was aware that i had this knowledge so it told me exactly what to do. ( it was also sending me pictures randomly to what to do) For example: It showed me a picture of the most beautifull girl that i have ever seen in real life, she was smiling at me without breaking eye contact and saying anything. What i got from this picture was: I have to smile to her without breaking contact until she smiles back. Then i looked into her aroused red lips when she smiled back like i really wanted her really badly making her feel good etc. So to make it short: I was in a state of superconsciouss and was definitally getting helped by something during this interview. At the end of the conversation i was doing short giggles to show her that there is more to this life because i could sense that i passed this easily and i could also see that she was hypnotised. When she said her finale sentence because the time was up, i stand up very fast consciously. (I did this because i knew if i would stand really fast she would experience a breaking connection miracle where she would feel that we disconnect/ her soul is coming back) I don't know how to describe this. So i stand up really fast specifically for this purpose and walk towards the door, my thoughts randomly tell me : She will experience this too look back. I look back and i see that she is staring into nothingness like she was hypnotised the suddenly she lets out a moan of pleasure (because her soul came back/disconnection was felt. She walks towards me and stands really close to me, when she walked into my space for the first time in my life i could feel an energetic field around a human body. It was like 8 inches from her body , it felt like very strong loving heat energy . It felt so strong to me that i felt like i was being burned by love and warmth, i got overwhelmed and was in total bliss. I was also seeing the world in Full HD felt like this was the worlds full color spectrum that looked like Golden Light all the dull colors were much lighter ___________________________________________________________________________________________ 3-4 weeks later i got called and they told me i was accepted as a Sperm Donor. Months after this incident i started awakening and many more miracles happend: Like going out of body 4 times, or seeing the future during conscious dream. In the dream for example they showed me a map of Ukraine and Russia on this map the east side of Ukraine was red they showed me that Russia is going through Ukranian border thats why it is red colored. After this i wake up and my thoughts told me that it was going to happen. I went to work and 6 hours later and i see breaking news Russia is invading Ukraine. So because i reached a new state of consciousness, i realized what the real purpose of life is ; The real purpose of life is: It doesnt matter just be yourself and develop your consciousness. We are here just for fun learning things and playing the game and developing our consciousness since we are god ourselves being split into different ego's/souls. So we are basically mini gods you can call god our Father. Abilities that i gained: -Going out of body if i really put my intent into it. ( it doesnt really matter anymore, i had this experience and know how it feels like there is no purpose of this) -Seeing future events , i only had this one time after awakening and it also doesnt really matter. By showing me this future event the lesson was: There is more to this life/develop your consciousness - Seeing/feeling how developed someones consciousness is in real life is a major one and how to respond to them to fit their level of consciousness. -Materializing holographic picture in total white color: to clarify - If i look at the picture of the clinical psychologist and after that i look at the wall of my room it materializes on the wall the same as she is on the picture and then it starts floating on the wall to the sides. Lesson for me from this: There is more to this life/develop your consciousness In 2 months i also have my first ayahuasca/psychedelic trip i wonder how all this will apply to what i will see! ___________________________________________________________________________________________ if you took your time to read through all of this, thank you and know that there is more to this life!

Existence is only serious for the separate self illusion. Which is, as the name says, an illusion. It is not real. Just appearing, for a limited time. But for the separate self, it is very very serious, deadly serious, and very brutal. At least from time to time. And 100% deadly for it in the end. Since the separate self is NOT permanent. Only Absolute Reality is permanent, or timeless. Always here. That is why a good indicator for real/true/no illusion/not imagined/not arising You/Absolute Reality/God/Absolute is: Is it always right here, can not not be there? What Hawal calls Nothingness, so that no concept gets put onto the Absolute Reality. But "a" Nothingness with the potential for sentience, and the potential to imagine anything. Even a separate self that still thinks it is the Absolute/God. >God doesn't "enjoy" pain. You are God.. Do you enjoy it? Definitely not. Absolute Reality neither enjoys it, nor does not enjoy it. It manifests/imagines it, and is aware of its own arisings within it. All reactions towards suffering are only arisings in the Infinite Reality. Enjoying itself is already an arising WITHIN the Absolute Reality. How about replacing the word God more often with Infinite Reality or Absolute? That is a bit safer, in order to not elevate separate self identities to God-Level? They arise in God/Reality, but the separate self for sure is not God or Absolute Reality. It is an imagination of God/Reality, arising in it. Personally, I don't tend to use the word God for Absolute Reality often, because it is so easy to elevate something to God level that is not IT. But I can use it with full conviction for the Absolute, but only if I am sure no subtle separate self arisings/concepts get mixed up with it. And that is tricky, tricky business.... To put it more precisly with more humor: "Ignorance is a bad idea only from the vantage-point of ignorance.", Francis Lucille And if you still suffer (not bodily, but psychological suffering), and the suffering is not just an arising in You, moving trough You, just a small part of You, not really gripping/bothering You, then you are not in stable resting in your True Nature. And that is why "Ignorance is a bad idea only from the vantage-point of ignorance." ( : Selling Water by the River PS: And for the purpose: It is not fun eating alone... Or playing chess against yourself while not forgetting one player. ( :

You (capital Y) are the whole Infinite Reality (imagined body, imagined appearances, imagined everything n+1). With nothing outside of it, because that would be an imagined arising too. Any boundary separiting IT from an imagined other IT would be an imagined arising, an appearing phenomenon. Infinite. Try to imagine everything gone, including thinking: NOTHINGNESS. Not big, not small, just NOTHINGNESS. A vast infinite Nothingness, that is not even vast, because there is no 3D-space or anything (no objects/arisings). Similiar to Deep Sleep. YOU are still there. YOU awake every morning after having been there. You already know that you can be totally something/somebody else in dreams, and have totally forgotten all the past you imagine right now to be your "real" human self. But IT is not Nothingness like nothing there at all, but Nothingness with the POTENTIAL for sentience as soon as anything is imagined, and with Infinite Potential to imagine ANYTHING within it, n+1. Imagine a water pistol pops up in this Nothingness (see example Massaro, Conversations with a Skepctic): Then you have a) an imagined appearance (water pistol) and b) "something" perceiving it, the subject. Or just the perceptions of the water pistal in case no separates self is imagined/arises. Just the waterpistol perceiving itself, perceptions perceiving themselves. Impersonal. Then you have a "world", and subject/object. So what are you then? a) The Infinite Field with anything that can possibly be imagined? Yes. Nondual/Totality/Oneness. The manifest/imagined side of Infinite Consciousness. Always changing, never stable, since no appearance/form lasts. NONE. But there is a constant: b) But even more so, you are that Nothingness that can be unaware of itself, Infinite Consciousness initially unaware of itself, but with the potential for sentience if something arises. The unmanifest side of Infinite Consciousness. The unchanging, Unborn and constant core of the True You/Reality itself. So empty that IT is the Abyss, Impersonal. NOTHINGNESS. But also Infinite Potential, since IT can imagine anything. and "Both"a) and b) is indivisible, nondual. Totally the same essence, ONE Reality. The Nothingness or the True You is already the essence/"substance" of every imagined arisings/phenomenon, including the water pistol, or all separate self arisings (they are all appearances within you). a nice book about that is Szyper, "Infinite Consciousness" And that is why with the Big Awakening/Big Enlightenment, you realize yourself to already be (and ever have been, ever will be) both totally Nothingness (no separate self arisings not transcended or spotted fast enough) and everything manifested/appearing. Its all One Infinite Reality, imagined in Infinite Consciousness/Mind, hovering empty appearances, hovering in You/Reality, perceptions perceiving themselves. What falls away (or are understood) are just the ignorant separate self arisings, that make you feel and think you are not the Infinite Totality, but this small body "moving" in it. You become Nothing(-ness), but also Everything. No longer a separate body-mind in a larger "universe", but all of that happening in You. To fully get it, you need many small awakenings/Kenshos/Enligthenments (becoming gradually the empty infinite mere imagined appearances/nondual field), and a big awakening (Great Enlightenment, Basis Enlightenment, Great Satori) after you have become the whole infinite empty field, when you wonder who/what PERCEIVES that field. The One Hand clapping. That is when the last subtle layers of the separate self are suddenly seen through. Sudden Awakening. Its gradual until then, and sudden and unmistakenly with the last shift. Up to that shift, there are stages and higher awakenings. But the bug stops here. That is also why you never know with the smaller Awakenings (1) what the end of the ladder is.... and (2) you still suffer. And of course you can go exploring afterwards, but you already understand what You are and what Reality is when doing that. And how you fooled yourself before, with many different layers (imagined separate self, imagined past, imagined future, imagined anything n+1). The Real You is quite smart to fool itself in such a way.... ( : Tricky thing with the last shift is: This last shift needs a fully empty or transended separate self, including very subtle layers of feeling/thinking... And that needs.... a lot of time in these nondual and empty states to get rid of any untranscended separate self arising. And these last separate self elements can be very tricky & subtle, needing familiarity with them to spot them, and a very fast speed of spotting and transcending/cutting them off in real time. And: You can't force it here with the usual meditation techniques (that came before this stage) of directing attention. Because who/what is doing the meditation? The separate self.... It has to be automized, so that the meditation does itself. No artificial activity of a separate self. Non-Meditation Yoga in the Mahamudra-System. Or alternatively, but not so efficient: "Bang your head against the wall" for several years with a Koan. That also works, but more brute-force-style and doesn't feel so nice... Or you win the genetic lottery, jump all of that, find yourself to be the Great Unborn... and have no clue how to get there since you jumped the journey. Ramana-style. The author of these lines wasn't lucky enough to win this lottery. But hey, the point of the ride is ride. Bon voyage! ( : "We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all." Kalu Rinpoche Selling Water by the River