Adrian colby

  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Adrian colby

  • Rank
    - - -

Personal Information

  • Location
  • Gender
  1. I absolutely love this. I experienced it last week during a very strange and intense set of emotions, trying to redirect them inward and upward instead of outward and inappropriate. It resulted in self confidence and the heart opening that then accepted all others into that sphere of love so unconditionally I’m at a loss for words to describe it. It’s like I’ve fallen in love with all the others, not to want, attach or possess them but just love them.
  2. The scale of consciousness is infinite and I don’t really include enlightenment ( realisation of solipsism) on that scale. Enlightenment, source realisation or a full awakening of the source is the complete cessation of all consciousness and dream. It’s the stilling of all motion, frequency, thought and condensing of the scattered awareness back into a singularity. There is absolutely ‘no thing’ there. It’s not emptiness, it’s full of potential waiting to burst into manifestation. There is nothing to learn there, there is nothing to do there. It’s just a dim awareness sitting in bliss before it turns back on itself in a feedback loop creating consciousness ( a first knowing or ‘I am’) , within consciousness, everything is a fractal iteration, exploration of consciousness and form without ever exceeding that initial boundary. When you realise the truth, you remember there was nothing so you come back and explore the infinite dimensions and states of consciousness and slap yourself in the head as you remember that is what you set out to do in the first place and you’ve gone full circle. Then Buddha sits up and starts laughing as he is back and remembers the absurdity of his infinite mind 🤣🤣🤣🤣
  3. It’s unfortunate but yes. His insights are legit and seem to stem from the likes of Tesla, faraday, Heaviside, maxwell Walter Russell etc. ie the change in paradigm of physics ( based on a proper understanding of what light is) but….. he burried it in heaps and heaps of his own ‘cultural’ beliefs or conspiracy crap. I find people who have genuine insights who are not listen to, tend to get angry and elaborate their stories to get attention but the elaboration turns into wild conspiracy fantasy like they know something that others don’t ( superiority complex) I’ve never heard of Terrence Howard before the net blew up about this but I understand exactly what he is talking about. What we are getting in this interview is a rapid fire and incoherent stream of ideas at a surface level that without unpacking and going into the research that supports it, sounds like absolute nonsense. there are other people who try to get this idea across. Some of them are word salad generators but if you get the meaning behind the words they’re using it gets easier to understand. Quite a lot of them are also quite intellectual and arrogant that can act as a block to understanding what they are trying to communicate. More often then not they get caught up in the conspiracy stories because they haven’t done personal development or discernment for themselves but that doesn’t dismiss the insights. terrence isn’t the first to know this stuff. nassim haramein, Ken wheeler, David la Pointe, Lori Gardy just to name a few who mention very similar concepts. Some of whom have started developing tech as a result. even if I look at myself, there would be genuine insight into the geometric structure of the vacuum and how it connects everything but in top of that I will still have my human characters propensity to favour certain opinion of interest over others. watching the Terrence interview it’s clear to me the difference between his insight and his ‘cultural personality’. He keeps jumping between the two and mixing them up in the perception of the viewer making it look like schizo nonsense. There’s always a partial truth in what a person says but we have to understand what is being said before dismissing it.
  4. @blessedlion1993 my wife started dating me and then married me without knowing the specifics of my condition ( gonadal disgenesis which comes under the gender incongruency umbrella. I contain both male and female biological factors, some genetic, some neurological and some physical but I am unrefutably a man ) . When I asked her about it she said, the only difference between before and after knowing was a ‘word’ or term that I didn’t identify with anyway so it made absolutely no difference. I was the person she met as of her direct experience at that time which was unquestionably mentally and socially male and no story that anyone would tell her about me from the past could change the reality of of who and what I was to her at that moment. That has never changed (although having gone through awakening, my personality has.) she also pointed out that as I wasn’t involved with the trans or lgbt community that I hadn’t taken on their cultural mannerisms or behaviours. The whole point was to get treatment and integrate back into society to get on with life in peace, not to create an outlandish identity removed from conventional roles. I don’t identify as trans. I have no childhood trauma or mental illness and I don’t discuss it with anyone as it doesn’t exist in the perception of daily life. As my wife says, it is now just a story that doesn’t reflect the reality of the moment and doesn’t exist until it is conceptually created in the mind of another person by telling a story about it. if you meet me, I’m just a guy. Everything is normal. If I suddenly tell you a story about myself from the past, your perception based on your own preconceived ideas change and your behaviour toward me changes as well. The only thing that doesn’t change is me. you do not know if you have or have not got any sex specific biology unless you test yourself for it. There are men out there who are born with xx chromosomes (the sry genes are on the other x) and you wouldn’t know and they wouldn’t know unless it came up on a test. Most people are nothing but appearances because that’s all you interact with anyway. What your worried about is social perception but if no one knows and it doesn’t have any adverse effect then what’s the problem? my wife ( this is unrelated to me) has difficulty with comfortable sex due to dryness and small vagina. This stems from being a small person, intimacy issues from childhood because of cold emotionally unsupportive parents and past abusive sexual relationships( and quite possibly now the menopause) . If I turned around and expressed concern about her gender because of my difficulty fingering or sleeping with her… I’d bet I would be deserving of a punch in the face for it and quite rightly so. she has said to me before she’s worried she’s not normal, that her bits don’t seem to be working properly but to be honest I think she’s perfectly normal and just not good at dealing with even subtle stresses and lacking in self confidence. It’s not an indication of a gender disorder your basically projecting your fears onto someone and creating a situation where you are the victim and blaming them for it instead of taking responsibility for your own perspective of your perceptions. Remember perception and perspective are not the same, one is thwarted by bias and doesn’t reflect the other truthfully.
  5. It really depends on what perspective or what reality you’re living in. I’ve tried to stay as non bias a possible throughout the whole thing and just kept an eye on the studies and the clinicians in direct contact with patients and it very slowly started becoming apparent that something was very wrong. My father’s a professor of immunology so I haven’t escaped being educated about how our systems works and sitting through postgrad lectures while waiting for a lift home and learning to read and understand papers. I’m also very familiar with how vaccines work and this ‘injection’ is NOT a vaccine. A vaccine is an attenuated version of a bacteria or virus with a specific dose that is given which provokes an immune response which is then contained in memory cell for when an infection comes along and the system recognises it again. The covid vaccines are based on a system that transfers RNA code for the original strain of virus spike protein into your cells via lipid nano particulate. Your cells then act as a spike protein producing factory. The spike is cytotoxic, it’s an artificial replication of the original strain that no longer exists, there is no way to know what dose you are giving a person as it is the persons body/genetic/etc that determine when the production stops. It is classified as a GMO or gene therapy as that is what the technology was invented for. That is not a vaccine. Plenty of studies have shown people becoming infected shortly after injection indicating there is a problem with immunosuppression and or illness from sideffects. This is evident in the complaints of clinical oncologists who have successfully treated their patients and have improved their immune systems to the point it is able to keep the cancer at bay for decades only to go take the boosters and end up with T cell suppression and the aggressive return of their cancer. the injection itself being given without aspirating the needle has caused bolus issues throughout the body, leading to multiple issues like myocarditis, thrombosis, stroke, I’m not going to list all of it…. ive had multiple clients of mine coming in saying how good they were to get the booster and the flu jab but in the next sentence claiming to have been extremely ill for two weeks or longer afterwards and blaming it on a visit to a cafe! Some of my clients are dead! the rest of us who don’t participate in this insanity don’t experience anything of the sort. on top of that, my father wasn’t able to go into his lab without taking the injections and in February this year after his booster ( despite me pleading with him to stop) he ended up in hospital fighting for his life. He had to be recusitated twice. His aorta tore open after his heart wouldn’t stop fibrilating. There was bruising and cell damage on ascending and descending. There was so little tissue left in places it had to be grafted over a scaffolding. He’s very lucky to be alive. I had the tissue that was removed sent away for analysis and it returned as being riddled with spike damage( if you want to know what spike damage is then go look at the German study) One of the cardio thoracic surgeons took his case file and got in touch with another specialist( a cardio vascular surgeon over the west of the country) who has been repeatedly operating on ‘young’ healthy individuals with accelerated blockages in their systems presenting as stroke in evolution that he has never seen the likes of in his life. He raised the issue twice with the department of health and nothing has happened. Further to that, we are good friends with an undertaker who says about 20 percent of the bodies the embalmers are working on have strings of white rubbery clots coming out of them. This has been reported by others too and have raised issue that a new pathology is presenting they’ve never seen before either. Vascular systems being covered by an overproduction of protein. When they come out they are an exact mold of the vesicles they’ve been flushed out of. At all ages. my entire family took at least two-three shots and all of them got covid afterwards( not before) and they have been reinfected multiple times and in general are sick every other week! It is astonishing! I refused to take it as I got T cell suppression from annual flu vaccines where I got infected every year and each time was worse till I ended up in hospital unable to breath. Clearly it wasn’t working and I stopped, overhauled my health- diet, lifestyle and state of mind. That was in 2017. I haven’t been sick since and I’m not exaggerating! No I didn’t lock down and continued as normal as did the rest of the community here. No one got covid till omicron arrived. Yes I got covid ( omicron) and no I had no symptoms. I wasn’t sick and continued as normal. I didn’t get infected before or after that and it was in March 2021. my Scottish relatives, retired GP and a surgeon are both now refusing to take boosters as both were very unwell after the last one. The GP now has cancer and the surgeon has the same onset symptoms as my father with atrial fibrillation. my sister, in her 30’s has chest pains and difficulty breathing and is constantly sick. Every other week it’s “oh I think I have a cold. Maybe it’s covid” this has been going on for three years. i think there is nothing more obvious than Australia where they went for total lock down in an attempt to achieve zero covid. The products were rolled out in 2020 and the deaths didn’t start till after. The first covid to spread across the country was omicron in late 2021! I have no time for conspiracy theorists but I have even less time for people who call expert clinicians with direct experience of their own clients, conspiracy theorists! I have even less time for people who dismiss things without first looking at the evidence. there are four cardio thoracic surgeons in this country and we are having to fly in surgeons in emergencies due to the number of heart problems occuring. We had to get a surgeon from Sweden for my father. if one more politician stands up and says “ oh it’s because of climate change” …. I swear to god!!!!!!! ( that’s their answer to this!) I do not know what kind of information you people have access to but it’s certainly not what I’m seeing or experiencing. I just want to reiterate something. The spike protein found in my father’s tissue was not covid spike. It was the protein his own body produced from the RNA in the injection . The virus with that particular protein became extinct in late 2021! It no longer exists! He was riddled with artificial spike that damaged his heart and surrounding tissues. That God damn injection nearly killed him my own GP has been slowly confiding his discontent to me about the health authority and is planning early retirement because he can’t take being a part of this anymore. Last year he seemed really depressed and disinterested in his practice before he finally said he can’t go on reporting increases in problems in his patients and recommending taking the product off the market only to be told to shut up and keep giving it… that’s not medicine, that’s not health care. uk has already prosecuted the manufacturers for breach of code. a criminal complaint against multiple individuals in regulatory positions has been lodged with the head of police. Australian lawyers are currently in the process of taking their regulators to court in order to both ban the product and prosecute the regulators. theres possible prosecutions happening for giving multiple drugs with known respiratory suppressant effect to people with a respiratory infection effectively killing them ( this happened in mutiple cases in the old folks homes, one of whom was my 102 year old grandfather! The Scottish relatives want an investigation) there’s plenty others and it’s all coming out slowly. unfortunately for those of us who have watched loved ones suffer and die, it’s too little too late. there were certainly people out there who were vulnerable to the virus and some who died but the majority had Co morbidities. No one is dismissing what happened to them but the sheer numbers reported across the world were grossly exaggerated. The excess death count now has exceeded the reported death numbers during the most active phase of the virus and as those strains are no longer with us and omicron is nothing more than cold and fever, the increase in deaths cannot be accounted for by the virus. Everything that every clinician is seeing in their patients is pointing to a medical intervention that neither works nor is it safe or even needed.
  6. It only works if all its members are willing and engaging as an intrinsic part of the decisions, Otherwise it is just coercion and tyranny.
  7. new study by Stanford,a woman or a man. There has been an argument about standard deviation and overlap with error bars so a few studies have used AI and trained it to identify distinct patterns with high accuracy. First study above was specifically being developed for identifying sex specific neurological disease and the one below ventured into the trans differentiation. I understand the sex /gender argument as it’s clear a gender role can be played by anyone but it still seems the way a person expresses themselves or the feeling from which it derives has a biological basis even if it is minute. The sample size in the trans study is too small and needs to be expanded but it suggests a dimensionality or spectral nature to sex specific neurology. humans are inherently diverse because of their higher cognitive function and I certainly think as they continue to evolve, they’ll appear in more complex configurations driven by the mind. looking at a body that contains multiple dimorphic structures ( male/female development potential) including to what degree the neurology can fall into, I’m not surprised at seeing spectral complexity emerging from it.
  8. I don’t know if this is of any help but I have identified as a boy/man and male for the majority of my life. In the beginning I was believing what I was told by my parents, peers, culture but something kicked in around 5 years old that didn’t reflect everyone identifying me as a girl. It was persistent and severely distressing so I was treated in my teens when I was finally referred to a clinic after years of therapists, psychiatrists ending in a suicide attempt. My ‘feelings’ turned out to have a biological basis. Although I looked female, I had gonadal disgenesis which wasn’t known till my teens when I was tested for disorders during my diagnosis process. I participated in a study in 2014 that showed I had a mutation in one of my genes that is typical of males but not females. It cannot currently be tested but I speculate my BNSTi in my hypothalamus falls into the male range as this is what is seen in brain autopsy studies of transgenders. There is an argument over neurological studies as the standard deviation and error bars issue in the research methodology shows too much overlap between the sexes but a recent development by a professor Menon ( Stanford university) taught an AI with large American and European samples of ‘cis’ gendered male and female brains by fMRI and identified three regions that seem to be sex specific. When the AI was used to identify the next set of scans, it identified whether the person was male or female ( as in they are both biologically and identify congruently) with above 90% accuracy. If the incorrect identifications are ironed out, or the reason possibly being these people are actually biologically variant but don’t know, then this will end the statistical overlap argument and potentially be used as a diagnostic tool. ( just for context, it was created as a tool to be used for helping diagnose neurological disorders that are sex specific. There has been no use of the method on trans but the software is available for anyone who should like to do this) having gone through awakening, I know I am ‘awareness’ and both identity and the perception of the body and all things in the objective universe are a construction of the mind. but if I were to come back into this ‘character or avatar’ that I’m experiencing I would say that it contains biological attributes of both sexes that in whatever combination or whichever attribute is predominant, expresses as a male gender. I as this avatar am not male or female but both. Whichever factor was predominant is what has swayed me to go to conformity within the societal expectation of a male/man. I do not identify as trans and do not engage with the lgbt community. I got my treatment and reintegrated back into the society I came from.( I believe a lot of problem stem from the creation of trans as an identity rather than a description of a biological variant) while my body ( as does everyone’s) contains dimorphic structures that can change to either male or female via chemical triggers( secondary characteristic), anything that required physical development during gestation has been surgically altered to the best of a surgeons ability so my superficial, bodily appearance is male. While I can orgasm I do not have the reproductive or hormonal production of either male or female and never have. That is managed artificially. My condition is invisible and doesn’t exist in day to day life. I fulfill my role as a man, a husband, a brother and a son and my condition doesn’t exist until I mention it and it forms in the mind of a person who is told. Pre conceived beliefs begin to be projected onto me and ‘their’ behavior changes. The reality was their direct experience prior to me telling them anything which was completely normal. After telling them, they start projecting their ideas onto me. This has prompted me to never talk about it for both my and the other persons sake. For me to create discomfort in a weak minded person who cannot control their own thoughts and resulting behavior would not be very conscious of me so I no longer do it. Since dissolving the ego somewhat there is no need or feeling to justify my identification. It just is. if this stuff is to be taught to young children then it should be approached holistically encompassing not just variations but the two binaries between which that spectrum appears. All of it needs to be taught with equal importance. Sexual Biology ‘is’ binary in a human and that is the male or female deviation of a dimorphic structure of which there are many in the body. Multiple simplex binary structures can all be coherent or sometimes incoherent causing complex variants we see as the many emergent genders. thats only one explanation but we can’t forget there is the purely psychological recognition of social constructs and those who loosen themselves from that regardless of the biological underlying attributes. both exist. Everything we know is highly complex and emergent from a simplex unity. the complexity of our culture and the understanding of biology and our higher psychological faculties is not something that can be taught to a child. We only know these things from having gone through all these experiences, overcoming our animalistic reactions and becoming more aware of our cognitive functions, studying, contemplating and regaining mastery over them. perhaps it would be better to teach children awareness and awareness of complexity instead of trying to break the complexity appart to save them from the experiences they inherently have to go through to learn?
  9. Waking up to social constructs is a phase in evolution for being of higher cognitive function, it doesn’t tend to ignore underlying sexual biology.( a non binary doesn’t reject their sex just the expectation of a gender role based on it historically) not to generalise as there are some who wish to interfere with their biology depending on the level of dysphoria they experience. biological dimorphisms will inherently emerge as incoherent in some people hence transgender or intersexed but it is rare and that’s not what we are seeing at the moment. the two are not the same yet both can be influenced by the idea of the other. Normalising it politically can and has backfired by stigmatising those that don’t agree or that have made a mistake and are ignored because admitting it looks bad to the community even thought it doesn’t effect them only the ones being harmed by very loose policy. I think it shouldn’t be advertised or publicly promoted but rather a private decision where the person is left to their own devices and respected as such and allowed to get on with their lives ( I believe the problem arises in those who want to shout it about, demanding attention and rubbing it in peoples faces) medical intervention shouldn’t be given to young people unless they meet the original diagnostic criteria of persistent historical gender identity that continues on into their teens. This original treatment model worked but the affirmation model more recently introduced which was meant to be the loosening of criteria for genuine cases ( de pathologising and reducing distress over the treatment waiting times) has dropped the filters that would have screened out people with mental health issues and those confused by cultural conformity. The clinics are reintroducing the old model but the advocates and community see it as phobic when it actually doesn’t affect them, it simply filters out those who should not be there. other cultures /tribes have had severe interventions normalised, like bodily mutation, decoration, etc. this is nothing new. the phase may come and go but I do think the public persona of it is just further indentification and justification to conform to a trend with a degree of attention seeking to be seen as being in a culturally ‘right’ and progressive way of thinking.
  10. I don’t know about other substances but research on psilocybin shows neurogenesis. That would increase one’s processing of the ‘awareness’ signal capacity while embodied. But so too does flooding the body with oxygen( breathwork or oxygen chamber).
  11. I think it was timing. Lockdowns and freedom from work and obligation left me with the time to contemplate and deconstruct everything. There were certainly some catalysts that pushed me that direction that accelerated into an awakening fairly quickly. Most of the practices involve extracting the mind or awareness from any objective, sensory experience. It goes back to rest/infinity and then starts to construct anything and everything( hence the vivid imagery) The trick is becoming conscious of how it is the mind that is creating/ imagining it all. Watching what the mind does. In a sober trip there can be absolutely no fear and complete relaxation or you suddenly jolt out of it. It isn’t easy which is why I say more often now days I go to the mushroom ceremonies, doing it the lazy way or just needing a safe space and time away from everything once or twice a year. Experimenting with the mushrooms once I quieted my mind for the whole trip and nothing happened. There was no trip because my mind was silent and created nothing.
  12. I did a lot of philosophy, psychology and objective retroduction that led to a full blown awakening. I was sober and sitting in a chair at the time. I got the deepest understanding of the nature of reality at that moment and had never heard of actualisation, spirituality or psychedelics. I was only trying to teach myself how to discern truth. I was aggressively atheistic and went into shock when I dissolved and was confronted with what ‘is’ and being one and the same as it. i came across psychedelics when I went looking for answers as to what happened where it was said that you could experience this on 5MeO so I went to try it to contrast it with what I experienced. It was similar but with allot more buzzy energy. i didn’t need the substance to get into that state, I needed the groundwork. And it is much the same now as it was then. Unless I do the ground work the substances are useless. They are a tool to help loosen from the objective reality. ive taken 5 meo many times, mushrooms, ayahuasca and cannabis. Hell I even had a white light experience on a bottle of wine! But so did the floatation tank. ayahuasca was the second experience that showed me where to focus inward and go into those states of consciousness but I had to actively intend to set up the scenario to figure it out. The plant didn’t do that for me, my mind did. with a a bit of practice I was able to sit and have full blown vivid fractal trips ( internal) just sitting in a chair sober. it is always sober contemplation and training the mind that cause my insights. The psychedelic just give a more vivid direct experience of it when I’m feeling lazy or too overwhelmed in life to do the work. I used to get exited about psychedelics in the beginning and promote and push them but I realise better now that you never push something on someone. Even healing. It’s no one’s right to do that. You continue the journey and only help if someone asks. Pushing something is part of a righteous identity. Psychedelics can be used as tools to help along the way but they do not do it for you. Look at all the recreational users out there who haven’t got a clue about any of this.
  13. I do apologise I tend to get carried away and write essays.sometimes just for the sake of parlance. It was tough back then but it’s okay now. Im completely grateful for the experience and for awakening. I no longer have emotional reactions to these issues having stepped out of the identification and objective reality altogether. The clarity that has caused is quite a peaceful existence. If I hadn’t moved on. I would never have been able to analyse the situation without bias. it’s much more interesting to look at the issue as a whole with all the different perspectives when one is not attached or cheering for only one side with the added benefit of direct experience. with JK,it would be interesting to do regression with her feelings to find if it’s just a once off incident in her life or if there’s been a pattern of reaction that is similar to different types of incidents. We’ll never know. I don’t hate or feel anger towards her rather I recocognise a lack of self confidence. She doesn’t need to justify herself for being herself by having to compare and contrast. If only someone could tell her that. There’s a deep seated hatred of men in there somewhere and the incroaching on her space🤔. I won’t go there. Too much speculation.
  14. It’s more a case that she’s approaching the issue from a very narrow perspective and applying it across the board. From the comments I’ve heard her making it seems she perceives it as a personal threat to her own identity or the identity of women without thinking about the biological variants in our species or the realisation of conceptual constructs which are the complexity that emerge from many simplex/ dimorphic sexual structures throughout the body. The sudden and very liberal change of political attitude, while well intentioned, has inadvertently caused a free for all so disingenuous opportunists have been allowed through without a filter ( this filter was part of the original diagnostic and treatment model). What jk and others are pointing out is this issue but they are so frustrated with no one listening that they have become angry and hateful applying the issue to genuine cases as well which comes across as trying to stamp them all out of society. Whether she is aware of the difference I don’t know but it doesn’t seem that way. It’s like the sudden change of attitude of people against Muslims after 9/11. Suddenly because of a few extremist bad eggs, the whole community is suspect? That’s flawed thinking. I do agree that lgbt members or people who identify with it do have a highly sensitive and victim like mentality but as I’ve said already, individuals in the community have been subject to descrimination in history so collectively the lot are still suffering from generational trauma and haven’t been given the space to heal from it. From a higher perspective they are so Intrenched in ego and identity which is the core of the problem, it makes it far harder to ‘awaken’ from that, let go and heal.
  15. ‘Consistent’ is the hard part and for me to consider it a successful attempt I need to be aware from start to finish. i ‘wake up’ plenty of times in what could be described as a fractal realm or lucid state in a body that’s not mine but the obe I deliberately practiced only happened once ( two consecutive extperiences back to back). I used to do it consistently as a teen but never went further than my house.