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Hello good people on this forum. I want to express a situation that happened to me a while ago. A quick bio about me: I'm 18 years old and still in high school, but I will graduate in a few months. I stumbled across personal development a year ago and have been gathering knowledge and information. A few months ago I decided that my level of knowledge is sufficient to start this journey, and that it's time to put this stuff into practice. Time to take massive action. Enough mental masturbation. Anyway let's start the story. The strangest thing happened to me. I was in my classroom and the class had just finished. As everyone else was talking, cracking jokes and socializing, I put on my headphones. I sat there at the back of the room and played some very chill rock music. And suddenly, it happened. I mean, WOW. I was present, just like that. Looking at everything there, as if I've never seen it before. It was ineffable. The closest I can describe it with my limited vocabulary is TRUE BEAUTY. Seeing everyone enjoying themselves, even though they were unconscious, was mesmerizing. I was looking at the desks, the chairs and even my hands, just shocked by the fact that I haven't noticed them before. I mean, sure I have, but never like this. This was something totally different. This was awe. This was love. This classroom was filled with love. I quickly noticed how stupid some of our arguments are sometimes. We are blind to the feeling, blind to the bond that we, the people in this classroom, have. It lasted until the next class started, so probably around five minutes, before I finally got occupied by other school-related responsibilities. As I reflect on this moment, I would guess that I experienced a period of no-mind, or enlightenment, but I'm not sure as I am just starting to dabble into spirituality. Somehow, by eliminating one of my senses (hearing) from "reality", and listening to music, instead of being lost in it, I was catapulted deeper into the present, into the now, into reality. I am interested by how and if this method works and hope to do more research on it in the future. I am interested to see if I can make this happen again. The reason I am writing this post is to ask for help from some of the more experienced spiritual people here. Am I doing things right? I've felt a state of bliss similar to this before while meditating. Is music always a distraction to awareness or can it be beneficial (like in my case)? I would also love to inspire some of you guys reading this to experiment with it and post your results. Have you guys tried anything like this? Did it help you or not? Here's a link to the actual song that made it happen.

I am currently studying darkness retreats. I have a 14 day darkness retreat coming up in january. I was first made aware of this by the story of a woman's darkness retreat in the book "The Psychedelics Explorers Guide". It is really nice to read, but probably not worth buying the whole book, if it is only for that reason. I can recommend the book "Dawning of Clear Light" by Martin Lowenthal. Really a beautiful book. It is not very long, but many sentences go very deep. If you contemplate and try to get to the meaning behind some of it you can gain a lot of insight from it. And then you can find good information on this page: https://darknessretreats.wordpress.com/2016/04/13/david-m-kleinberg-levin-dzogchen-dark-retreat/ I have so far tried to meditate for 40h in the darkness. I already noticed shifts in my awareness. I speak about it here: The brain supposedly releases DMT and even 5-Meo-DMT after about a week in the darkness. So you start to see visions and are basically "tripping". From the reports I have read, it is very different though. You are still in full control obviously. And if you manage to meditate and stay calm it is a great opportunity to face ones fears. This is considered to be a difficult practice for advanced students according to buddhist teachings. I would not consider myself to be advanced in my practice. It will be a major challenge for me. I am going to post my "trip report" here at the end of january. I will have a speech-recorder with me in the darkness. It has no display and only one button for recording, so I can use it. So maybe I will be able to catch some first-hand insights that I have during the retreat. https://www.dmt-nexus.me/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&m=772878 Notice the profound similarities between these four experiences, despite being triggered by very different things. "I became Consciousness facing the Absolute. It had the brightness of myriad suns, yet it was not on the same continuum with any light I knew from everyday life. It seemed to be pure consciousness, intelligence and creative energy transcending all polarities. It was infinite and finite, divine and demonic, terrifying and ecstatic, creative and destructive..." – 5-MeO-DMT account (Stan Grof) "As I neared the warm glowing radiance ahead of me, I felt pure ecstasy. I was in the beginning of the light. I was part of the light…It was as if I had come home. I had come home to the beginning of not just me but the beginning of all eternity." – NDE account(via Kenneth Ring) "I was absorbed into this light, and this light became the entirety of space around me until I was only this giant, radiant light-filled void. I was real and home again and bigger than a trillion of our suns." – Darkness retreat account (Lindsey Vona) "At one point in my meditation, my head opened and flooded with light. I watched and felt this quiet bliss and gladness take over and noticed that my body became pure vibration." "I was a gigantic bigger-than-all-concept-of-universe radiant unending shimmering ball of light emanating perfect compassion forever without cause." "Even my experiences of perceiving the maya, of perceiving emptiness and suchness throughout my whole “life as Lindsey” as a spiritual seeker could not come close to this total absorption into self-remembering perfection of total...er...uh...beyond words and description annihilation into truth-light." ...etc.

Intellectually we know we live in a "dream-state" acting out our roles. Achieving truth is fully breaking down yourself until there is nothing left. But you yourself will go trough hell, You will DIE in the full sense of the word. You'll be left as a nobody but you'll know what the hell is going on in this life. The other choice is just stay in the dream and play the roles you have always played. There is nothing wrong with that either. Ignorance is bliss. Read the books by Jed McKenna to get a grasp of this.

@OnceMore I can only speak based on experience, and having experienced the passing of grandparents, parents, a newborn child, friends and lovers, even in the midst of the most profound grief, there is the possibility of the most profound love/bliss ... It seems there is neither cold-hearted detachment, nor needless, story-based, woe-is-me suffering. Just this ever-deeper appreciation for another mystery, another paradox, another wonder to behold. Anyway, best prepare for it, as best one can. Inquire, inquire, inquire, etc.

Yoga? Body (or breath based) meditation IS raja yoga. If you can allow the choppier/courser vibes to settle in favor of more subtle movements you will get deeper, and gain insight. Then again it takes some yogis/yoginis a few years to purify/pacify those course vibrations. Apply the 4 truths to the feedback loops. No reason to take forever if you are mindful of what is happening with your attention, and what attitudes lead to letting go of tension. Sounds like what Therevada buddhism maps as Jhana. The experience if vastly more powerful than orgasms however, even multiple/tantric (well, tantric could be an exception at times, but that is for Insight.) Jhana is a concentration practice, which if I am not incorrect, some TIbetan practitioners also attain via different but similar techniques. See Leigh Brasington's Right Concentration - Practical Guide to the Jhanas, or The Vissudhimagga/Vimmutimagga for the hardcore details/instructions. These practices, when used for more than just simple craven "pleasure feeding", build discernment, sharpening "Manjushri's Sword." Valuable skills can be built, such as learning the difference between discernment and delusion/hindrance....Makyo and Kensho, or peace vs. fear and disaster. Plus the kind of surrender needed for full Jhanic absorption is good human training for A&P or Magga Phala, if one chooses to find these maps useful in their work. On the other hand, some only use Jhana for pleasure seeking, and fail to see the insights, don't gain discernment, and worse -- use Jhana to escape responsibility from life's grit by hiding in Bliss. So I'd keep an eye on that, since that's not the path (out of suffering). Metta! -B

@Jedd Like Azrael said, this isn't unexpected; it isn't about 24/7 bliss ... Using the strange loop metaphor, try looking at it this way: That which 'one' is in essence is never dichotomized into two apparently separate opposing sides of the strange loop ... It is ever-knowing the only side there actually is. So it is not dichotomized into euphoria and depression, the extraordinary and the ordinary, the highs and the lows, and there is no exclusive identification as such. It is not any identity -- some happy me vs an unhappy me. To paraphrase the song lyric -- freedom is another word for no identity left to lose. There is only the strange loopiness of all that is, never not right here, right now.

Day 1: Complete Today was pretty smooth sailing. A lot of stuff happened today. For one, during one my meditation sessions, I had an overwhelming feeling of sexual energy come over me. By focusing on this energy, I was able to increase it until it felt like I was having a Full body orgasm, which was pretty pleasant. Who needs women if you can give yourself an orgasm with your mind. Only joking.... I am started to feel invincible. Most things simply can't touch me, there are a couple of weak points here and there, but as I start to meditate more, these weak points are gradually fading away. I feel like I am gaining so much more awareness. It just baffles my mind that so much more is even possible, when I already feel so much bliss and peace throughout my day. Looking forward to tomorrow!

@UDT It’s simpler.... who is happy? Who is unhappy? No one. The Infinite beyond duality will have you crying like a baby. Bliss. It IS Joy. Happiness requires a little self deception. Just a little. Don’t settle. The Joy IS You! It’s everything! This is why society equates joy to God - they don’t know what they are!

The ancient spiritual traditions take quite different approaches to this question of Awareness. Vedanta's name for the Absolute is Brahman, which is considered inseparable from the triune of satchitananda, meaning: Being/Consciousness/Bliss. Buddhism, meanwhile, seems to make little mention of consciousness or awareness. I've always resonated with Taoism's approach to defining such terms ... From the Tao Te Ching: "The tao that can be told is not the eternal tao ... The name that can be named is not the eternal name". Even the choice of the word Tao seems quite deliberately nondescript, perhaps to avoid any definitive conceptualization. In any case, somehow it seems best to not get too attached to definitions and names, because what is truly essential is a profound realization of that which is being referred to, and ultimately defies all names and definitions -- which, given the inherent limitations of language, are always going to have to settle for 'true enough under the circumstances'. As such, even the name 'The Absolute' can be problematic, if it is seen in prioritized opposition to 'the relative', and there is then some exclusive identification as I am That, as opposed to other-than-that, thus falling back into the dualism trap, when in nondual terms, however paradoxical it may seem, the absolute is not other than the relative, and vice versa. This is also what Buddhism's Heart Sutra is getting at when it states that "emptiness is not other than form, and form is not other than emptiness" -- albeit, that statement doesn't seem to be in contradiction to 'Awareness.' So perhaps it's as good a name as any other -- keeping in mind, as Leo rightly points out, that it's not to be confused with some dichotomous subject/object awareness, in the conventional way that perception it is understood.

Hi guys! I want to share some of the experiences I had with my LSD trip yesterday. It was in a social setting (with 2 friends), so unfortunately not a lot of time for myself. Preperation This was my 3th LSD trip. I took around 200 micrograms, one tab (at 14:00 pm). We tripped on 2cb and truffels before so we were all right. We prepared all our food, drinks etc. We always buy fresh orange juice and chocolade. It intensifies the experience. We put couchins and blankets on the cough, matrasses on the ground. Also some nice incense sticks and tea. And of course, comfortable clothes. Lastly we put our phones and whatches aside for the duration of the trip. Oh and by the way, buy fruit when you trip! Best thing ever. Oranges, bananas and stuff. We rubbed them for days. The trip Let's jump right in. I planned to do timestamps, but time was no not present during the trip. We felt the acid hit quite fast. Only 20 minutes in and I started seeing things move. Colors became brighter and I started seeing mayan-like patterns and eyes in every object while they morphed in other objects. I could endlessly stare at it. It was like a living organism that created visual loops and patterns. The more I focussed on it, the more it came alive. I know you guys love pics, so here you go (first pic was the most present one) But then... BOOOM!! The acid really hit me. It's so hard to explain it. I think people who tripped before can relate. There is no way to put it into words. There is just amazement and bliss. It lasted for about 8 hours. This is what I wrote in bed while contemplating what just happened: (sorry for the amount of "I" in this one, my brain farted it out) "I am the creator. Every scenario I come up with is perfect in itself. If the scenario went downhill the mechanism would pick it up again to turn into a perfect scenario. I became the whole loop. I became every scenario in it and made it perfect just how I wanted. There was no way for it to be something negative. And man it felt so INFINITE and ENDLESS. You just couldn't escape it. No way. I am IT. I am the whole scenario and the whole mechanism. Its perfect. Like how a machine is programmed." "It's all happaning by itself. I am creating myself. And i'm looping these "thoughts" back into the loop. Automatically. I am the scenariowriter. I am the scenario. I am the writer. Social and verbal interactions made no difference. Everything they said fits within my perfectly created scenario. For a moment it was all fine that I was the silent guy. I was just being me. And they didn't judge me for it. This scenario set the trigger for the loop. If I got caught up in the scenario, I would create more scenarios in that scenario to feed the loop. It just felt so great. Like it could never stop. And there is just no way to put in into words. The only thing I could possibly do was make noises and laugh. I just let it happen. Laughter and sounds became the explanation. I was the creater of all music. I orchestrated it. Even in silence." "Through thought I was able to convince my friends that I created the music that was playing. I automatically synchronised them with my thought patterns. They became my thoughts and my scenario. I became their guide. I controlled their actions, I controlled their speech. It was insane. If I thought about standing up to get a cookie, the person next to me would instantly stand up to get the cookie. It was just like that. I was in total control. I planted these thoughts in their system. But looking back at it, these were no real thoughts. It was just reality creating itself in the infinite now." Thoughts create your reality. "Whatever you bring in, comes out. If you think positive, you become positive. You are the scenario writer of your life. External influences can't harm you if you create your own positive reality. Just smile. You are perfect. If people judge you or laugh at you, SMILE at them. That's the paradox. They are creating their reality, not yours. YOU are fine!!" And eat a banana now and then!! (biggest insight) Looking back The trip was so nice and intens. But I know it goes so much deeper. And i'm so fucking ready for it. I think I'm ready to trip alone now. I like the social setting, but it holds me back from truly exploring myself. I NEED to kill my ego. My whole life has been going so well. Too well. I'm an overall happy and energetic person. I used to have a lot of friends when I was little. Now I don't, but I don't really care. I love flowing with life and not crave anything. I enjoy being alone. It feels like it's a sign. THANKS FOR READING! I hope you liked it and find it useful. I also plan to do more detailed reports with more practical advice than this one. I would also love to improve my writing for you guys. It's not my best skill. I haven't watched leo's loop video, so i'm gonna do that now Safe flight! Cheers. Wesley

@eputkonen thanks for taking the time to share what you did. I experienced some insights while reading it on the distinctions I’ve made with words / meanings, in terms of - I hold some strict definitions - and holding them itself isn’t assisting me in terms of communication involved in helping someone else. I don’t know personally (outside of the forum) know anyone who has practiced meditation for years. A handful of people in my life have asked me about my mood, mental state, ‘progress in life’, whatever, what I “do” to feel the way I feel, and I always recommend the practices. I think, for a while, I might ask if they want to know what they are or not, and just leave it at that, and maybe that is an ‘entry point’ for assisting / deducing use of my energy. I want to experience that communication and collect the experiences from it. I see a lot of suffering, and I do see that meditation can ease it, but I am open and contemplating that ‘style’ without the basis of self inquiry, meditation might reduce suffering, but it might be likely it will just continue to surface. I realized a few years ago, I was choosing to live out my life in this bliss, or I was going to attempt to do that and help others. Then I realized my path is of course, both, as ‘others’ are no more or less me, than Nahm. So I think I’m learning the importance of ‘meeting them where they’re at’. I’m rambling...lol.... the point is, thanks!! And any thoughts and insights from you are more than welcome. One more thank you....I had a little more insight into my lack of distinctions between enlightenment, self actualization, and life purpose. Just a little, but a little there is a lot. Thanks!

@Ilya bliss is the default, but you want to be doing more. That’s great.

You can not become happy...your very nature is happiness, bliss, and joy. Happiness is something you are, when you are not making yourself miserable. So the trick is to clearly see how you are making yourself suffer and miserable...and cease doing that to yourself. Also, you might want to actively find joy through appreciation for what-is now and whatever is happening. Appreciation makes joy and happiness much easier to feel. The alternative is not to feel numb to life...just live in joy and happiness. A happiness that does not depend on anything. But this is a bandage only, because you feel shitty and suffer because you believe you are this fictitious "me". Realizing the happiness that dos not depend on anything will not occur as long as you believe you are this illusory "me". The "me" will always have problems and create misery for itself. In a way, it is problems and misery that strengthen the illusion of the "me" and sustain it. What are you...really? Inquire and delve into who you think you are...and see you are not that. At the same time and in the mean time, appreciate as much as you can all of the time. I will conclude that there is a bit of truth in your last question - "do I become happy by not having the need to be happy?" If you need/insist that you never feel pain, never experience unfortunately circumstances, etc...then you won't be happy. The trick is not needing things to always be pleasant.

In this thread, we share and discuss some of the weirdest and most bizarre experiences you've had on psychedelics. What I'm interested specifically are all the experiences that could not be summed up to just "took psychedelics, got ego death" kinda experiences (although they are obviously very profound), but that is not exactly the topic here.To illustrate, I'll share a few of my own stories. 200uq LSD and 10g of (weak) magic mushrooms I lied on a sofa, staring at the ceiling. Suddenly, as well as on the sofa, I was on the ceiling looking at myself. I was now simultaneously two versions of myself, on the ceiling and one on the sofa and I did not know which one I was. This lasted under 10 seconds and then I snapped out of it. On the same trip, I suddenly realized that if I stop walking and moving I wont remember who I was, what I was doing, where I was, or anything. I was walking in circles contemplating what I should do, until I realized that this is just fear in action and I stopped and closed my eyes. At that instant, just as I thought, I forgot who I was, where I was in space (lying, standing, sitting), and what lead me to that situation. In my visuals, I was violently being pulled into a wormhole of some kind, and then suddenly a massive sense of infinity hit me, and I opened my eyes because I was just so baffled out of my mind. I would not sum it up as an ego death, It was something else, as I was not left with any insight into myself really. It was a touch of space and eternity. A side note, I would not recommend combining LSD and mushrooms to anyone: you go as they say, completely bonkers. People who do them together are drawn to doing them together and don't need a recommendation. 350uq LSD I was peaking hard and my focus was suddenly being pulled intensely on a particular spot on the wall. Then I switched my gaze upon that spot, and the view behind my window. Suddenly I was hit with this immense non-verbal feeling of "nothing is really inside anything" and at that moment, I became my consciousness. My heart was pounding and I felt a strange pressure around my chest. Tears started to flow like waterfalls, yet I had no emotions except for a huge "OH. MY. GOD." -feeling. I felt as I saw everything for the first time. I could hear my fast paced breathing and pulse, but I was not inside my head anymore, my body was like another piece of furniture, an unrelated object. I was a point of consciousness, levitating in the air. My eyes were not seeing, seeing happened and I had no eyes. This lasted for about 45 seconds, and then it faded away. I spent the whole evening thinking what the FOX (see, don't always have to curse) just happened. I came to the conclusion that It was not an enlightenment experience, it was something else, a very TRUE state of perceiving the space around me. 15g of (semi weak) mushrooms and 5g harmala This is a short, but a beautiful one. I was meditating and peaking quite hard. I was on about 40min mark of my meditation, and I was in a trance that made my whole body feel like I'm a statue. Then a sudden insight hit me: This here, is it. I can do absolutely nothing, in my mind or otherwise, to be more me than I already am. This is what my being is. This insight was related to problems/frustration around self-inquiry that I had pondered for some time. The most biggest, dumbest smile was all over my face, and a warm sweet wave of insight euphoria hit my body and I felt a strong sense of completion, wholeness and bliss. I meditated some more after that, and then i got up. And after that, I became, in my mind, a pirate - - - These kinds of non-enlightenment experiences are to me, deeply interesting and profound. As enlightenment, they seem to happen very randomly and unexpectedly, I don't experience something like the examples above on every trip, even on similar doses. They are something that really can be accessed only on psychedelics, they carry with them an immense sense of reality and unreality, mixed together into this brew of experience that defies language, logic and intuition. They are not exactly as "useful" or pursue-worth as a genuine awakening, but nevertheless, very very deep and profound.

@Monkey-man I'm a fan of McKenna's writing, and of spiritual autolysis, but I fully understand where these concerns are coming from. I wonder whether, if someone's only exposure to enlightenment theory was through McKenna, would they be in massive trouble. As it stands I find him to be a valuable point on one end of a spectrum, with (for example) someone like Matt Khan at the other. I think the important thing to remember is that any teacher can only talk about enlightenment from their own limited human perspective. And it seems like McKenna - if he is enlightened - had a very rocky journey to get there and this informs his human perspective. However, I also think a lot of his writing is in fact very subtle, and it can be easy to misunderstand him. He has a particular sense of humour and mode of communication that can make things seem darker than (I think at least) they are. And I think he does this on purpose. Why? Hmm, let's look at your questions: 1) Read again but pay attention to his descriptions of 'the universe'. Remember he writes from a human perspective; when he does take time to talk about the universe, he alludes to a profound connectedness, gratitude, and trust. The isolation is from the ego perspective, and this is what he comes back to again and again: when he says "you don't want this", he is talking to the ego, the fictional character. Not the truth. 2) Maybe I'm forgetting something, but his most direct description of other people is "like children", or "half-awake, half-asleep". Which again is all about people being run by ego. But I'll be cute with your point and say you can reverse it and say that a stone is as alive as a person. That's a very Jed thing to do. 3) Hmm, maybe. Maybe not. Consider that he's trying to cut through the 'bliss' narrative because he sees that as more delusional food for the ego. Go back and read the first chapter of Damndest, at the feeling he describes reading the Gita. Look at his discussion of 'agape' (don't know if I mis-spelled that) during the interview with Julie. In Incorrect he tells Curtis his living reality is one of contentment. There's more going on that he's only willing to allude to, not directly state - I suspect because he sees 'bliss' as crack for the ego and really wants to break past that concept. 4) Interesting thought. In terms of meaning, certainly he talks about the human having certain 'rights and wrongs' hardwired into it. Maybe his 'ego-costume' still seeks meaning? However, regarding beauty, look at some of Julie's later writings in Incorrect, and remember there IS no Julie: this is Jed describing to us his own process and shifting perspective. Pay attention to when she talks about the beauty of things she used to hate. Remember when he says that Ahab is missing a key characteristic: intense joy. 5) He does say to pursue adulthood unless you 'absolutely have to' pursue enlightenment. It reminds me of Steve Norquist saying "you don't want this". In both cases they are talking to the ego, and making the point that the desires and goals of the ego may not be compatible with enlightenment. And if you lose any belief in right and wrong, good and bad, suddenly the dream might not look so bad, right? Why not stay in it and enjoy it while you can? The question of audience is very important here, and is addressed in Incorrect (both in the 'review' at the front, and when he talks to Curtis about criticism). He is making a very clear distinction here that, if you are looking to enlightenment because you think it's going to enhance the life you are already living (i.e. if EGO is pursuing enlightenment to help EGO's ends), maybe the end of ego is not, in fact, what you are looking for. I think this is actually a very important point to contemplate for a while, and yes it can be a painful one: WHY are you doing this, and HOW MUCH are you willing to allow to change in your life if that is what is really required? If you're looking to enhance the life you have, is killing yourself really the way to do that? Also I'll point out he clearly loves poetry, and in some of the bonus material spends some time describing how he loves delving into art and music. 6) This entirely depends upon which 'you' we are talking about. But remember the simple razor he uses: whatever is, is right. He describes humanity in belittling terms at times, like children, so certainly doesn't seem to see ego bound reality as 'best' or anything. I don't think it's so much that he sees enlightenment as not the 'natural' state - but certainly not the natural state for the character/ego/human, which is so often who he is addressing. 7) I think he's either wrong here, or knows he isn't (he does say "what isn't possible in a dream?") but is trying to push people into action rather than waiting or relying on the zen "bam" factor. Hard to tell - perhaps he's overly reliant on his own process. But I suspect it's a call to action. 8) I think it's a combination of personality and intent. He doesn't seem willing to indulge people's ego-fantasies about enlightenment. He wants to cut straight to the core and not allow a moment's breath to stop and look at anything that the ego might grab and go "ooh, I like that". And I think it leads to books that are rather hyperbolic at times; which can only allude to deeper truths - but the hints are there. The thing about these books is they don't leave you anything to believe, really, except the falseness of the ego and ego world, which of course comes over as depressing and nihilistic to the ego. They're not books you can read once and believe and think "that's nice". They need intense scrutiny and an extremely discerning eye, they need to be pulled apart to be understood, and they need to be compared with other perspectives. I find it very interesting to compare what McKenna says against what Adyashanti says. They're actually not all that different. 9) Contemplate, and choose what you feel is right! I've had moments like you describe and I've always been drawn back, and whenever I have I've realised that what dissuaded me was an idea I had generated, nothing more. Have a look at what you've been imagining enlightenment to be, and look at what the consensus is between those who purport to be enlightened, and go from there! I hope some of that helped!

You can skip all but tell me, is Jed McKenna’s description of enlightenment is how enlightenment actually is????? Is that as dark as he describes? And how would you describe it in a literal way? I really like Jed’s writing and I’m not exposing or rejecting him by any means, on the contrary I do believe in what he says coz he sounds very reliable and he really removes some fairy tales, but I don’t know what to think about it, probably I’m not getting something but I feel like Jed’s description of enlightenment is somehow different from others’ including Leo’s. And I get that enlightenment is not all nice but a bittersweet pill where bittersweetness is not a problem. But in Jed’s description of Truth, Truth is sorta very ‘dark’ and doesn’t look like something natural. As I understood ‘enlightenment’, before reading Jed, was something like ‘feeling of borderlessness and oneness with everything beyond your body’, and ‘feeling as if you are child who knows nothing again’, and peace and staff like that. But Jed doesn’t seem to talk about that at all, and please correct me if I’m wrong but these are how he seems to perceive the world: 1. There is no feeling of connection and oneness but rather total isolation in infinite cosmos. 2. He feels that people are not real or alive, but rather not more alive than a stone. But shouldn’t everything start to feel more lively instead ??? 3. Overall he doesn’t seem to feel bliss and peace etc.. but rather emptiness. 4. Total nihilism. This nihilism as I see it should turn into something like seeing beauty in everything without need for meaning, but Jed seem to miss all this meaning since he does emphasise meaningless life so much. Yes life’s meaningless but if you can’t shut up about it, it seems like you want some meaning? And Jed seems to want some meaning. Maybe I’m wrong 5. In the end of the day, he suggests against pursuing enlightenment but rather to be sensible adult and enjoy positive aspects of life coz after enlightenment you cannot enjoy ‘positive’ things of this world anymore because no more good and bad dichotomy. Jed talks how watching movies has no emotional triggers anymore, so does people in real life who looks like soap opera characters. But how can one enjoy beauty in life or in arts while for example watching movies where whole point to connect to story and ‘be involved’ in this story for 90mins? Isn’t that the whole point of art, connection and aesthetics? How to feel this life to the fullest if ‘your existence’ become observer-like and not participator-like? 6. He doesn’t seem to think that enlightenment is your natural state of being. And I always thought that enlightenment is a state in which any living body SHOULD live naturally and only because of unnatural bug in ego we do not live in it. This question really bothers me, if kids and animals are really enlightened, it then has to be natural for us, but some gurus seem to say that it is not something that everyone need or should have in their life. ? 7. Also he says that enlightenment always require conscious intention, it cannot happen spontaneously. But how about Tolle, Sadhguru and many others who didnt pursue it, but it just happened to them without intention? 8. Has to do with personality? Coz some enlightened people (like Rupert Spira, Sadhguru and Tolle) constantly talk about joy and peace and staff like that, while Jed sort of emphasises harsh reality. So might it be that enlightenment will lead to different ‘mood outcomes’ for different personalities? Jed seemed to describe himself as pessimistic anti-social type guy prior, and did enlightenment just increase these characteristics in him? I don’t get it tbh. 9. I like his straightforwardness and description of non-duality though, but he made me to doubt if I really want to pursue this. I already feel constantly disconnected and empty, its hard for me to find meaning in anything and to have passion or purpose, and everyone already seems unreal and fake, and there’s not much joy in me anyway And If I got McKenna right, all of that will just skyrocket towards infinity for enlightened person but it’s no longer problem, except that it’s not because of nice peace but rather coz of some nice emptiness. I mean all of that is not what I felt in ‘unconsciously enlightened childhood’, childhood was nice happy-magical times, definitely unconscious ‘oneness’, and I thought enlightenment is something like early childhood. I’m sure I’m not getting something. But if so, how would you describe your own state of enlightenment, not in a poetic way but as literal as possible?

Savanna scatters and the seabird sings So why should we fear what travel brings? What were we hoping to get out of this? Some kind of momentary bliss? I waited for Something, and Something died So I waited for Nothing, and Nothing arrived It's our dearest ally, it's our closest friend It's our darkest blackout, it's our final end My dear sweet Nothing, let's start a new From here all in is just me and you I waited for Something and Something died So I waited for Nothing, and Nothing arrived Well I guess it's over, I guess it's begun It's a losers' table, but we've already won It's a funny battle, it's a constant game I guess I was busy when Nothing came I guess I was busy (when Nothing arrived) I guess I was busy (when Nothing arrived) I guess I was busy (when Nothing arrived) I guess I was busy (when Nothing arrived) I guess I was busy (when Nothing arrived) I waited for Something and Something died So I waited for Nothing, and Nothing arrived I waited for Something and Something died So I waited for Nothing, and Nothing arrived Category - Enlightenment & Meditation I picture the "nothing" in this song, as nothingness. It just inspires me since it really drives some deep points home if you actually view nothing in here, as nothingness, the no-"thing" that you are. Basically, he waits for some thing, and always chases after things. But then there is this nothingness, which is always there, yet he was always busy chasing after things while totally overlooking what already was there, nothing(ness).

@How to be wise There is some goodthings... a very good thing is the love and bliss at the end of the process (I can imagine) - strong bodily orgasm-like sensations - feelings of relief - finding resolution for lifelong problems and finally allowing the letting go to happen -very strong boost in your intuitive abilities - you get pretty good at manifesting what you want... because you begin being in alingment with reality, and what you want will be the same thing reality is going to put in front of you whether you like it or not > In ex. one of my personal experiecnes is that I really wanted to travel to Canada during the summer into nature, and the perfect opportunity presented itself. Now, the experience was much less pleasant than I thought because it was there for my highest evolution and not to have a vaccation from my growth but still xD... - you start seeing what people need, and you intuitively fulfill these things for them And again, this is just a start, I am 2 and some years into kundalini awakening, and its no longer the hell it used to be in the beginning, the first year was the worst... but I survived it (gotta give myself a high-five for that, cuz not only I survived it, but I managed to stay in university through that entire period... damnit good job me!). Most people report (after their kundalini integrates) ability to transmite source-energy, or pressence, (give shaktipath if you will)... which I can imagine can feel quite nice realizing youre unleashing the grace of god onto another :-)

This is typical dark night of the soul stuff and is unavoidable for serious progress. Congratulations on your progress! The rule is: It gets worse before it gets better... Always. Are you willing to swallow the "worse" period? That is the question. Damn right it is. Im sorry for your pain. May you be blessed with joy bliss extasy and love. The rule of the thumb is that noone who achieved full enlightenment is gonna tell you: "Oh I felt ok for a long period of time and then I gont enlightened." Hell no! Its more like "Yeah I felt terror, was pretty sure I was insane for a few years, I could barely function and then my redemption dawned." The human unconsciousness is real. The human pain is real. Very real. There is only one question. Are you willing to take it?

@AleksM ‘dualistic reality’ , “me & you”, objectivity, and the definitions written & words said therein, are illusory. Reality can’t be defined because there is no one to define it to. Is reality experienced....no...no one to experience anything...no distinctions to be experienced. Same situation. It is. @Monkey-man reality is absolutely real. Illusion is an illusion. Life is not real. Life & death are dualistic illusion. Neither exists, and each only has meaning contingent on the assumption of the other having meaning. Neither actually have meaning. Neither are true. When you see you are not alive, you see you don’t die. Like all words are contingent on the “meaning” of other words, so is it with the very ‘air’ you “breathe”. Living in an illusion we think is reality blows. “Living” in an illusion we know is an illusion is pretty sweet. Being in reality is bliss. The word freedom immediately reveals a lack of freedom, a veil. There is no word in actual freedom.

This trip report will have a lot of capitalised words in it - these are deliberate. I'll be talking about things that are so divine that the conventional English word I use is just not sufficient to describe them. The English language cannot capture the beauty, depth, profundity and magic of what I experienced on this trip. It was like delving into why God created Mankind, its true nature, and our ultimate Purpose. I "acquired" LSD a few days before this trip - ten 150ug blotters - I have a trip organised in a couple weeks. Having done shrooms twice, and experienced death during the second one, I feel relaxed towards psychedelics. They don't even feel like drugs anymore. But last Thursday morning I woke up and just knew I had to do half a tab. Partly precautionary before my trip in a fortnight, but partly because dang I just want to try LSD and I had the time! So about 15 minutes after waking up I stuck some chill music on and slid half a blotter under my tongue. Being relaxed is extremely important in psychedelic trips. It makes the come-up a lot more bearable, actually exciting, and when the effects start coming on, you are able to enjoy them and be relaxed with them. Meditation is extremely important for this, as is set and setting, and of course, prior experience with psychedelics. Music and drinking tea or water during the "wait" is good. Low dose is also good - if you already doubt your ability to handle the dose before you're even tripping, you will likely struggle during the actual trip when your entire conventional sense of self and reality is totally gone and you have no other option but to surrender and let your ego get completely ripped away. I found LSD to be quite visual - much more so than shrooms. While the visuals were cool, I didn't let them distract me too much. What struck me more was the sheer beauty of everything from the moment the effects came on, especially people and nature. I stood and stared in the mirror for a good five minutes admiring how beautiful I am and fortunate I am to be here. I am a beautiful Being, not because I am sexy or attractive, but just because, damn, a human being is an extremely complex organism. It's incredible I even exist. I felt self-love that was beyond love I've had for anyone or anything. It was sheer awe at my own Beauty and Existence. This was to set the tone for the rest of the trip. Not long after a couple hours after dropping, my conventional reality just got completely ripped away from me and I transitioned into the Gravity-less, Timeless Emptiness. Nothing visually changed, so don't think I'm on a different planet seeing weird animals and patterns, no. You simply become your Life as it is and realise that it's all an empty Container, with no substance to it. This was a bumpy journey: the physical body goes through a lot. Your muscles and nervous system have been functioning as part of this reality for so long that when it starts to disappear, your body has a big reaction, not necessarily negative, but there is a lot of adjusting going on. The back muscles around my shoulder blade in particular were in discomfort and I was rolling around on the ground. I also felt like my abdomen was being torn apart. I see this as the ego leaving the body. the sense of time and Other goes away. I was a bit worried that if I just completely surrender, my family would hate me, I'd never see them again, that there would be no future. But I realised that this is all just part of my conventional reality and there was no point trying to hold on, and no need to. the fear of insanity really hit me. All I could do is surrender over and over and over again. Life really is just one big surrender. the sense of gravity and solidity goes away. I was throwing all manner of objects in the air - an apple, a TV remote for example - because I realised that gravity was a complete illusion. These things still moved and hit the floor but as though they were in a lava lamp. This lasted around 30 minutes, although it's difficult to say. I had to continue letting go and letting go. Once I broke free, it was incredible, and everything was revealed to me. It was like being reborn into my life, into my house, and seeing the entire thing called Life for what it really was. Insights into life: my life is really everything I have ever ever wanted. It's a miracle. We collectively just do not recognise how fortunate we are. I was rolling around on my carpet, grabbing it, rubbing my face on it, so grateful that I was alive. I was shouting "it's everything I could have ever wanted, it's just everything I could have ever wanted" it's all just a Game. I get up in the morning, I do my little routine, I do my little things throughout the day then come back to my little house and go to my little bed. When you exist as the empty container, you realise just how much of a limitation this life is upon the timeless. Imagine having a chess board full of pieces. There are so many games you could invent using those pieces in various numbers, combinations, different rules etc. The common chess rules we have corresponds to how limited our conventional daily life is. What is morning? What is sleep? What is a routine? my True Nature created it all, in its sheer Divinity and Power. My true nature is the entire universe, the existence of time and space, all the events in my life, all the people, everything. All of that is just my consciousness expressing itself. For the first time I became aware that everything is pointing to this thing called Me. It's like an Entire History of Me film that is being played out. Everything that exists in the universe I experience, it's all made for me, by me, and is all part of Me. Of course, this is true of every single one of you too. The moment I took that tab was Designed. It was the crescendo of me realising that it's all just me, the whole time I've ever existed I have neglected this realisation. This realisation was so powerful that I was crying tears of excruciating Gratitude. I was crying for my beautiful life back. It was all so meaningless, but not in a bad way. I just wanted to have it because of its extreme beauty. I may have a simple life, I may not doing anything flamboyant, but it's all just so Divine. Even drinking a cup of tea is a ridiculously beautiful event. I felt selfish but realised "I died for this. I died to see this Beauty." And I wanted it so, so bad. I was rolling on the floor and jumping around ecstatically at the prospect of living this life. I could have lived for the next 70 years in a box just loving every moment of It. As if a new being, I gave myself a tour of my house and discussed what food I eat, what time I tend to sleep at, who else lives there and so on. It felt like I was a new-born 22 year old human being, walking around in an Esher painting (because of the gravity skewing effects). More insights: I am God, you are God, we are all God, It is God. Do you wonder why people debate God so much? Do you wonder why it's such an obscure, substanceless topic? Because we are like fish in water. Fish can't become aware of the distinction between water and air because 99% of the time they're in water. It's so obvious that it is untouchable by normal means. the only way is In. In means to find who you REALLY are. Your whole world points to You. Even your bedroom wall or your lampshade. Will you look in? Or will you stall out the clock and never realise who you Are? Hint: IT IS ALL YOU. We are in a Sims Game, we Created the Sims game and Forgot. your only Purpose as this Being is to share our Divinity. We are incredible beings, we have so much Love and Wisdom within us. So much. Tap into that and share it with everyone you see. God has plans for humanity. I could feel this. I could see this. It was obvious. So much more happened on this trip that I can't even begin to cover. Lots of personal shit was purged. A lot of unusual things happened too. But after being on this Trip I just had to share the best wisdom and insights that I could. The next few hours, even after the trip was over, I was in a state of sheer bliss. I sat in my bedroom, just looking around, so grateful to be alive. I needed nothing more. Advice yoga and diet are important for full awakening to Truth. Your body needs to be looked after. It is the HDMI port between you and the Divine. Any food you eat that makes you feel shit, ditch it. meditation... man if you're not meditating in this day and age I bid you farewell seriously, it's vital. go inward, inward, inward until you no longer exist as a thing. The only way is In, remember? Oh, and one more insight, DO (PSYCHEDELIC) DRUGS KIDS. They're incredible.

Let's get one thing straight I am not my father and I didn't say that I thought life was all about suffering. I'm just thinking of ways people can come up with to end suffering. I myself am very disappointed in my father for a number of reasons. He made a lot of promises to me that he ended up breaking and lives life like a robot just going through the motions. I remember as a kid that I had hopes and dreams and in one moment in my life I was in a very dark and displeasing place. I was going through some severe depression but, I got over it. The question is though how do I make sure something like that doesn't happen again if I could help it. Some things our out of our control like tornadoes and earthquakes. Although the things that are in our control like raising children sometimes people do a really terrible job that leads to extremely terrible outcomes. You need to ask those questions on why my dad put me into this world to him not to me. I don't plan on having any children myself in fact if anything I am planning on adopting and becoming a voice for people who are suffering and people who need help. Of course there are many amazing and interesting things to do in this world where we find happiness and bliss but, I don't think it gives people the right to neglect people who are suffering. Case and point I'm sure that when all the Jews were suffering in the concentration camps the Nazis and their collaborators were having a good time. I'm sure that while some people live in their mega mansions and use up all the worlds resources they are as happy as can be while other people starve. I'm not saying I have a solution I'm just saying I ponder these things from time to time. Speaking of the world blowing up it has happened before in Japan and all it takes is one psycho to end the lives of unsuspecting people especially when they are in bliss and having a good time like that shooter in Las Vegas who killed those concert goers. The way you responded to my post shows a lot of strong emotions. I think a better idea is instead to really think about what I said and think about this in a more non-egoic and non-emotional way. I am currently studying a book called Political Ponerology that talks about the origins of psychopathy and such. It talks about how people who have no conscience get into positions of power and from there they mess everyone else's psyche up as well and cause irreparable amounts of suffering to thousands and in some cases millions of people. I think that humanities best bet is to stop these psychopathic people as best we can to create a society with less suffering. Immunize ourselves from these psychos.

If your father is convinced that life sucks and it's all about suffering. Why did he put you on this world, and just end his life already? Let's put it broader, if everyone's life is all about suffering. Why haven't we come to a consensus to just blow up the world and end all the suffering? That would be the most noble and logical thing to do. Like a dog with terminal cancer that got hit by a truck while trying to pass the road. It's only compassionate to end its life, without much pain. But do you think life is really about that? Do you think we are all sick dogs that secretly want to put down to end all the misery? Maybe you do think that. But that says something about your own current state of mind. Remember when you were a kid and you had fun all the time. Just exploring, discovering and creating. And when you fell and you bruised your knee; you cried for a bit, wiped your tears and then you went right back to exploring, discovering and creating. Life can be that way as an adult too. Joyful, without worry. Like Ramana said; retrace your steps back to your source and you will find the bliss again.

I wanted to ask if somebody else also experiences this, I have this now for about 4 or 5 days since I started meditating for about 3-5 hours a day. It comes like a flash very unexpected and I am feeling it mostly in my belly area but also in a more subtle way in the whole body, it is like a little orgasm but it is too short, it happens like 3-5 times in an hour of meditation. I can also kind of provoke it in some way, it is just like an outburst of joy but instead of it being expressed with bodily expressions it is just this very short feeling of bliss.

Dear all, I successfully published my first book 'The Truth About Spiritual Enlightenment: Bridging Science, Buddhism and Advaita Vedanta' in Amazon. It is available in both kindle and paperback versions. I am able to provide the kindle book for free for five days using KDP select. The kindle book will be available for free from 24th Nov, 2017 to 28th Nov, 2017. I invite the members of this forum to take advantage of this free promotion. Kindle version: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078494FQB Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1973364549 Here is the description of the book: "Spiritual enlightenment is becoming a buzzword. Enlightenment is a popular niche for people who write or read about self-help, meditation, healing, psychology and more. But do you really understand what enlightenment is? Is it some kind of altered state of consciousness, a solution to get high without drugs, a way to live life in 24/7 bliss, a myth or a complete scam? Is there any scientific basis to enlightenment or spiritual awakenings? This book has the answer for these questions. This book attempts to bridge spiritual teachings of Vedanta and Buddhism with science. It gives you a practical and reasonable path to end your suffering and live a peaceful, satisfied and happy life. Above all, it will help you to find your own way and follow your own light. The book will also introduce you to some important concepts in psychology, which are related to spiritual awakening. The concepts and solution presented in this book are based on the author’s own experience. It also has a chapter that narrates author’s own spiritual journey which led to a complete spiritual transformation. The book also has a separate chapter which talks about scientific research done on spiritual enlightenment."