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You can not become happy...your very nature is happiness, bliss, and joy. Happiness is something you are, when you are not making yourself miserable. So the trick is to clearly see how you are making yourself suffer and miserable...and cease doing that to yourself. Also, you might want to actively find joy through appreciation for what-is now and whatever is happening. Appreciation makes joy and happiness much easier to feel. The alternative is not to feel numb to life...just live in joy and happiness. A happiness that does not depend on anything. But this is a bandage only, because you feel shitty and suffer because you believe you are this fictitious "me". Realizing the happiness that dos not depend on anything will not occur as long as you believe you are this illusory "me". The "me" will always have problems and create misery for itself. In a way, it is problems and misery that strengthen the illusion of the "me" and sustain it. What are you...really? Inquire and delve into who you think you are...and see you are not that. At the same time and in the mean time, appreciate as much as you can all of the time. I will conclude that there is a bit of truth in your last question - "do I become happy by not having the need to be happy?" If you need/insist that you never feel pain, never experience unfortunately circumstances, etc...then you won't be happy. The trick is not needing things to always be pleasant.

In this thread, we share and discuss some of the weirdest and most bizarre experiences you've had on psychedelics. What I'm interested specifically are all the experiences that could not be summed up to just "took psychedelics, got ego death" kinda experiences (although they are obviously very profound), but that is not exactly the topic here.To illustrate, I'll share a few of my own stories. 200uq LSD and 10g of (weak) magic mushrooms I lied on a sofa, staring at the ceiling. Suddenly, as well as on the sofa, I was on the ceiling looking at myself. I was now simultaneously two versions of myself, on the ceiling and one on the sofa and I did not know which one I was. This lasted under 10 seconds and then I snapped out of it. On the same trip, I suddenly realized that if I stop walking and moving I wont remember who I was, what I was doing, where I was, or anything. I was walking in circles contemplating what I should do, until I realized that this is just fear in action and I stopped and closed my eyes. At that instant, just as I thought, I forgot who I was, where I was in space (lying, standing, sitting), and what lead me to that situation. In my visuals, I was violently being pulled into a wormhole of some kind, and then suddenly a massive sense of infinity hit me, and I opened my eyes because I was just so baffled out of my mind. I would not sum it up as an ego death, It was something else, as I was not left with any insight into myself really. It was a touch of space and eternity. A side note, I would not recommend combining LSD and mushrooms to anyone: you go as they say, completely bonkers. People who do them together are drawn to doing them together and don't need a recommendation. 350uq LSD I was peaking hard and my focus was suddenly being pulled intensely on a particular spot on the wall. Then I switched my gaze upon that spot, and the view behind my window. Suddenly I was hit with this immense non-verbal feeling of "nothing is really inside anything" and at that moment, I became my consciousness. My heart was pounding and I felt a strange pressure around my chest. Tears started to flow like waterfalls, yet I had no emotions except for a huge "OH. MY. GOD." -feeling. I felt as I saw everything for the first time. I could hear my fast paced breathing and pulse, but I was not inside my head anymore, my body was like another piece of furniture, an unrelated object. I was a point of consciousness, levitating in the air. My eyes were not seeing, seeing happened and I had no eyes. This lasted for about 45 seconds, and then it faded away. I spent the whole evening thinking what the FOX (see, don't always have to curse) just happened. I came to the conclusion that It was not an enlightenment experience, it was something else, a very TRUE state of perceiving the space around me. 15g of (semi weak) mushrooms and 5g harmala This is a short, but a beautiful one. I was meditating and peaking quite hard. I was on about 40min mark of my meditation, and I was in a trance that made my whole body feel like I'm a statue. Then a sudden insight hit me: This here, is it. I can do absolutely nothing, in my mind or otherwise, to be more me than I already am. This is what my being is. This insight was related to problems/frustration around self-inquiry that I had pondered for some time. The most biggest, dumbest smile was all over my face, and a warm sweet wave of insight euphoria hit my body and I felt a strong sense of completion, wholeness and bliss. I meditated some more after that, and then i got up. And after that, I became, in my mind, a pirate - - - These kinds of non-enlightenment experiences are to me, deeply interesting and profound. As enlightenment, they seem to happen very randomly and unexpectedly, I don't experience something like the examples above on every trip, even on similar doses. They are something that really can be accessed only on psychedelics, they carry with them an immense sense of reality and unreality, mixed together into this brew of experience that defies language, logic and intuition. They are not exactly as "useful" or pursue-worth as a genuine awakening, but nevertheless, very very deep and profound.

@Monkey-man I'm a fan of McKenna's writing, and of spiritual autolysis, but I fully understand where these concerns are coming from. I wonder whether, if someone's only exposure to enlightenment theory was through McKenna, would they be in massive trouble. As it stands I find him to be a valuable point on one end of a spectrum, with (for example) someone like Matt Khan at the other. I think the important thing to remember is that any teacher can only talk about enlightenment from their own limited human perspective. And it seems like McKenna - if he is enlightened - had a very rocky journey to get there and this informs his human perspective. However, I also think a lot of his writing is in fact very subtle, and it can be easy to misunderstand him. He has a particular sense of humour and mode of communication that can make things seem darker than (I think at least) they are. And I think he does this on purpose. Why? Hmm, let's look at your questions: 1) Read again but pay attention to his descriptions of 'the universe'. Remember he writes from a human perspective; when he does take time to talk about the universe, he alludes to a profound connectedness, gratitude, and trust. The isolation is from the ego perspective, and this is what he comes back to again and again: when he says "you don't want this", he is talking to the ego, the fictional character. Not the truth. 2) Maybe I'm forgetting something, but his most direct description of other people is "like children", or "half-awake, half-asleep". Which again is all about people being run by ego. But I'll be cute with your point and say you can reverse it and say that a stone is as alive as a person. That's a very Jed thing to do. 3) Hmm, maybe. Maybe not. Consider that he's trying to cut through the 'bliss' narrative because he sees that as more delusional food for the ego. Go back and read the first chapter of Damndest, at the feeling he describes reading the Gita. Look at his discussion of 'agape' (don't know if I mis-spelled that) during the interview with Julie. In Incorrect he tells Curtis his living reality is one of contentment. There's more going on that he's only willing to allude to, not directly state - I suspect because he sees 'bliss' as crack for the ego and really wants to break past that concept. 4) Interesting thought. In terms of meaning, certainly he talks about the human having certain 'rights and wrongs' hardwired into it. Maybe his 'ego-costume' still seeks meaning? However, regarding beauty, look at some of Julie's later writings in Incorrect, and remember there IS no Julie: this is Jed describing to us his own process and shifting perspective. Pay attention to when she talks about the beauty of things she used to hate. Remember when he says that Ahab is missing a key characteristic: intense joy. 5) He does say to pursue adulthood unless you 'absolutely have to' pursue enlightenment. It reminds me of Steve Norquist saying "you don't want this". In both cases they are talking to the ego, and making the point that the desires and goals of the ego may not be compatible with enlightenment. And if you lose any belief in right and wrong, good and bad, suddenly the dream might not look so bad, right? Why not stay in it and enjoy it while you can? The question of audience is very important here, and is addressed in Incorrect (both in the 'review' at the front, and when he talks to Curtis about criticism). He is making a very clear distinction here that, if you are looking to enlightenment because you think it's going to enhance the life you are already living (i.e. if EGO is pursuing enlightenment to help EGO's ends), maybe the end of ego is not, in fact, what you are looking for. I think this is actually a very important point to contemplate for a while, and yes it can be a painful one: WHY are you doing this, and HOW MUCH are you willing to allow to change in your life if that is what is really required? If you're looking to enhance the life you have, is killing yourself really the way to do that? Also I'll point out he clearly loves poetry, and in some of the bonus material spends some time describing how he loves delving into art and music. 6) This entirely depends upon which 'you' we are talking about. But remember the simple razor he uses: whatever is, is right. He describes humanity in belittling terms at times, like children, so certainly doesn't seem to see ego bound reality as 'best' or anything. I don't think it's so much that he sees enlightenment as not the 'natural' state - but certainly not the natural state for the character/ego/human, which is so often who he is addressing. 7) I think he's either wrong here, or knows he isn't (he does say "what isn't possible in a dream?") but is trying to push people into action rather than waiting or relying on the zen "bam" factor. Hard to tell - perhaps he's overly reliant on his own process. But I suspect it's a call to action. 8) I think it's a combination of personality and intent. He doesn't seem willing to indulge people's ego-fantasies about enlightenment. He wants to cut straight to the core and not allow a moment's breath to stop and look at anything that the ego might grab and go "ooh, I like that". And I think it leads to books that are rather hyperbolic at times; which can only allude to deeper truths - but the hints are there. The thing about these books is they don't leave you anything to believe, really, except the falseness of the ego and ego world, which of course comes over as depressing and nihilistic to the ego. They're not books you can read once and believe and think "that's nice". They need intense scrutiny and an extremely discerning eye, they need to be pulled apart to be understood, and they need to be compared with other perspectives. I find it very interesting to compare what McKenna says against what Adyashanti says. They're actually not all that different. 9) Contemplate, and choose what you feel is right! I've had moments like you describe and I've always been drawn back, and whenever I have I've realised that what dissuaded me was an idea I had generated, nothing more. Have a look at what you've been imagining enlightenment to be, and look at what the consensus is between those who purport to be enlightened, and go from there! I hope some of that helped!

You can skip all but tell me, is Jed McKenna’s description of enlightenment is how enlightenment actually is????? Is that as dark as he describes? And how would you describe it in a literal way? I really like Jed’s writing and I’m not exposing or rejecting him by any means, on the contrary I do believe in what he says coz he sounds very reliable and he really removes some fairy tales, but I don’t know what to think about it, probably I’m not getting something but I feel like Jed’s description of enlightenment is somehow different from others’ including Leo’s. And I get that enlightenment is not all nice but a bittersweet pill where bittersweetness is not a problem. But in Jed’s description of Truth, Truth is sorta very ‘dark’ and doesn’t look like something natural. As I understood ‘enlightenment’, before reading Jed, was something like ‘feeling of borderlessness and oneness with everything beyond your body’, and ‘feeling as if you are child who knows nothing again’, and peace and staff like that. But Jed doesn’t seem to talk about that at all, and please correct me if I’m wrong but these are how he seems to perceive the world: 1. There is no feeling of connection and oneness but rather total isolation in infinite cosmos. 2. He feels that people are not real or alive, but rather not more alive than a stone. But shouldn’t everything start to feel more lively instead ??? 3. Overall he doesn’t seem to feel bliss and peace etc.. but rather emptiness. 4. Total nihilism. This nihilism as I see it should turn into something like seeing beauty in everything without need for meaning, but Jed seem to miss all this meaning since he does emphasise meaningless life so much. Yes life’s meaningless but if you can’t shut up about it, it seems like you want some meaning? And Jed seems to want some meaning. Maybe I’m wrong 5. In the end of the day, he suggests against pursuing enlightenment but rather to be sensible adult and enjoy positive aspects of life coz after enlightenment you cannot enjoy ‘positive’ things of this world anymore because no more good and bad dichotomy. Jed talks how watching movies has no emotional triggers anymore, so does people in real life who looks like soap opera characters. But how can one enjoy beauty in life or in arts while for example watching movies where whole point to connect to story and ‘be involved’ in this story for 90mins? Isn’t that the whole point of art, connection and aesthetics? How to feel this life to the fullest if ‘your existence’ become observer-like and not participator-like? 6. He doesn’t seem to think that enlightenment is your natural state of being. And I always thought that enlightenment is a state in which any living body SHOULD live naturally and only because of unnatural bug in ego we do not live in it. This question really bothers me, if kids and animals are really enlightened, it then has to be natural for us, but some gurus seem to say that it is not something that everyone need or should have in their life. ? 7. Also he says that enlightenment always require conscious intention, it cannot happen spontaneously. But how about Tolle, Sadhguru and many others who didnt pursue it, but it just happened to them without intention? 8. Has to do with personality? Coz some enlightened people (like Rupert Spira, Sadhguru and Tolle) constantly talk about joy and peace and staff like that, while Jed sort of emphasises harsh reality. So might it be that enlightenment will lead to different ‘mood outcomes’ for different personalities? Jed seemed to describe himself as pessimistic anti-social type guy prior, and did enlightenment just increase these characteristics in him? I don’t get it tbh. 9. I like his straightforwardness and description of non-duality though, but he made me to doubt if I really want to pursue this. I already feel constantly disconnected and empty, its hard for me to find meaning in anything and to have passion or purpose, and everyone already seems unreal and fake, and there’s not much joy in me anyway And If I got McKenna right, all of that will just skyrocket towards infinity for enlightened person but it’s no longer problem, except that it’s not because of nice peace but rather coz of some nice emptiness. I mean all of that is not what I felt in ‘unconsciously enlightened childhood’, childhood was nice happy-magical times, definitely unconscious ‘oneness’, and I thought enlightenment is something like early childhood. I’m sure I’m not getting something. But if so, how would you describe your own state of enlightenment, not in a poetic way but as literal as possible?

Savanna scatters and the seabird sings So why should we fear what travel brings? What were we hoping to get out of this? Some kind of momentary bliss? I waited for Something, and Something died So I waited for Nothing, and Nothing arrived It's our dearest ally, it's our closest friend It's our darkest blackout, it's our final end My dear sweet Nothing, let's start a new From here all in is just me and you I waited for Something and Something died So I waited for Nothing, and Nothing arrived Well I guess it's over, I guess it's begun It's a losers' table, but we've already won It's a funny battle, it's a constant game I guess I was busy when Nothing came I guess I was busy (when Nothing arrived) I guess I was busy (when Nothing arrived) I guess I was busy (when Nothing arrived) I guess I was busy (when Nothing arrived) I guess I was busy (when Nothing arrived) I waited for Something and Something died So I waited for Nothing, and Nothing arrived I waited for Something and Something died So I waited for Nothing, and Nothing arrived Category - Enlightenment & Meditation I picture the "nothing" in this song, as nothingness. It just inspires me since it really drives some deep points home if you actually view nothing in here, as nothingness, the no-"thing" that you are. Basically, he waits for some thing, and always chases after things. But then there is this nothingness, which is always there, yet he was always busy chasing after things while totally overlooking what already was there, nothing(ness).

@How to be wise There is some goodthings... a very good thing is the love and bliss at the end of the process (I can imagine) - strong bodily orgasm-like sensations - feelings of relief - finding resolution for lifelong problems and finally allowing the letting go to happen -very strong boost in your intuitive abilities - you get pretty good at manifesting what you want... because you begin being in alingment with reality, and what you want will be the same thing reality is going to put in front of you whether you like it or not > In ex. one of my personal experiecnes is that I really wanted to travel to Canada during the summer into nature, and the perfect opportunity presented itself. Now, the experience was much less pleasant than I thought because it was there for my highest evolution and not to have a vaccation from my growth but still xD... - you start seeing what people need, and you intuitively fulfill these things for them And again, this is just a start, I am 2 and some years into kundalini awakening, and its no longer the hell it used to be in the beginning, the first year was the worst... but I survived it (gotta give myself a high-five for that, cuz not only I survived it, but I managed to stay in university through that entire period... damnit good job me!). Most people report (after their kundalini integrates) ability to transmite source-energy, or pressence, (give shaktipath if you will)... which I can imagine can feel quite nice realizing youre unleashing the grace of god onto another :-)

This is typical dark night of the soul stuff and is unavoidable for serious progress. Congratulations on your progress! The rule is: It gets worse before it gets better... Always. Are you willing to swallow the "worse" period? That is the question. Damn right it is. Im sorry for your pain. May you be blessed with joy bliss extasy and love. The rule of the thumb is that noone who achieved full enlightenment is gonna tell you: "Oh I felt ok for a long period of time and then I gont enlightened." Hell no! Its more like "Yeah I felt terror, was pretty sure I was insane for a few years, I could barely function and then my redemption dawned." The human unconsciousness is real. The human pain is real. Very real. There is only one question. Are you willing to take it?

@AleksM ‘dualistic reality’ , “me & you”, objectivity, and the definitions written & words said therein, are illusory. Reality can’t be defined because there is no one to define it to. Is reality experienced....no...no one to experience anything...no distinctions to be experienced. Same situation. It is. @Monkey-man reality is absolutely real. Illusion is an illusion. Life is not real. Life & death are dualistic illusion. Neither exists, and each only has meaning contingent on the assumption of the other having meaning. Neither actually have meaning. Neither are true. When you see you are not alive, you see you don’t die. Like all words are contingent on the “meaning” of other words, so is it with the very ‘air’ you “breathe”. Living in an illusion we think is reality blows. “Living” in an illusion we know is an illusion is pretty sweet. Being in reality is bliss. The word freedom immediately reveals a lack of freedom, a veil. There is no word in actual freedom.

This trip report will have a lot of capitalised words in it - these are deliberate. I'll be talking about things that are so divine that the conventional English word I use is just not sufficient to describe them. The English language cannot capture the beauty, depth, profundity and magic of what I experienced on this trip. It was like delving into why God created Mankind, its true nature, and our ultimate Purpose. I "acquired" LSD a few days before this trip - ten 150ug blotters - I have a trip organised in a couple weeks. Having done shrooms twice, and experienced death during the second one, I feel relaxed towards psychedelics. They don't even feel like drugs anymore. But last Thursday morning I woke up and just knew I had to do half a tab. Partly precautionary before my trip in a fortnight, but partly because dang I just want to try LSD and I had the time! So about 15 minutes after waking up I stuck some chill music on and slid half a blotter under my tongue. Being relaxed is extremely important in psychedelic trips. It makes the come-up a lot more bearable, actually exciting, and when the effects start coming on, you are able to enjoy them and be relaxed with them. Meditation is extremely important for this, as is set and setting, and of course, prior experience with psychedelics. Music and drinking tea or water during the "wait" is good. Low dose is also good - if you already doubt your ability to handle the dose before you're even tripping, you will likely struggle during the actual trip when your entire conventional sense of self and reality is totally gone and you have no other option but to surrender and let your ego get completely ripped away. I found LSD to be quite visual - much more so than shrooms. While the visuals were cool, I didn't let them distract me too much. What struck me more was the sheer beauty of everything from the moment the effects came on, especially people and nature. I stood and stared in the mirror for a good five minutes admiring how beautiful I am and fortunate I am to be here. I am a beautiful Being, not because I am sexy or attractive, but just because, damn, a human being is an extremely complex organism. It's incredible I even exist. I felt self-love that was beyond love I've had for anyone or anything. It was sheer awe at my own Beauty and Existence. This was to set the tone for the rest of the trip. Not long after a couple hours after dropping, my conventional reality just got completely ripped away from me and I transitioned into the Gravity-less, Timeless Emptiness. Nothing visually changed, so don't think I'm on a different planet seeing weird animals and patterns, no. You simply become your Life as it is and realise that it's all an empty Container, with no substance to it. This was a bumpy journey: the physical body goes through a lot. Your muscles and nervous system have been functioning as part of this reality for so long that when it starts to disappear, your body has a big reaction, not necessarily negative, but there is a lot of adjusting going on. The back muscles around my shoulder blade in particular were in discomfort and I was rolling around on the ground. I also felt like my abdomen was being torn apart. I see this as the ego leaving the body. the sense of time and Other goes away. I was a bit worried that if I just completely surrender, my family would hate me, I'd never see them again, that there would be no future. But I realised that this is all just part of my conventional reality and there was no point trying to hold on, and no need to. the fear of insanity really hit me. All I could do is surrender over and over and over again. Life really is just one big surrender. the sense of gravity and solidity goes away. I was throwing all manner of objects in the air - an apple, a TV remote for example - because I realised that gravity was a complete illusion. These things still moved and hit the floor but as though they were in a lava lamp. This lasted around 30 minutes, although it's difficult to say. I had to continue letting go and letting go. Once I broke free, it was incredible, and everything was revealed to me. It was like being reborn into my life, into my house, and seeing the entire thing called Life for what it really was. Insights into life: my life is really everything I have ever ever wanted. It's a miracle. We collectively just do not recognise how fortunate we are. I was rolling around on my carpet, grabbing it, rubbing my face on it, so grateful that I was alive. I was shouting "it's everything I could have ever wanted, it's just everything I could have ever wanted" it's all just a Game. I get up in the morning, I do my little routine, I do my little things throughout the day then come back to my little house and go to my little bed. When you exist as the empty container, you realise just how much of a limitation this life is upon the timeless. Imagine having a chess board full of pieces. There are so many games you could invent using those pieces in various numbers, combinations, different rules etc. The common chess rules we have corresponds to how limited our conventional daily life is. What is morning? What is sleep? What is a routine? my True Nature created it all, in its sheer Divinity and Power. My true nature is the entire universe, the existence of time and space, all the events in my life, all the people, everything. All of that is just my consciousness expressing itself. For the first time I became aware that everything is pointing to this thing called Me. It's like an Entire History of Me film that is being played out. Everything that exists in the universe I experience, it's all made for me, by me, and is all part of Me. Of course, this is true of every single one of you too. The moment I took that tab was Designed. It was the crescendo of me realising that it's all just me, the whole time I've ever existed I have neglected this realisation. This realisation was so powerful that I was crying tears of excruciating Gratitude. I was crying for my beautiful life back. It was all so meaningless, but not in a bad way. I just wanted to have it because of its extreme beauty. I may have a simple life, I may not doing anything flamboyant, but it's all just so Divine. Even drinking a cup of tea is a ridiculously beautiful event. I felt selfish but realised "I died for this. I died to see this Beauty." And I wanted it so, so bad. I was rolling on the floor and jumping around ecstatically at the prospect of living this life. I could have lived for the next 70 years in a box just loving every moment of It. As if a new being, I gave myself a tour of my house and discussed what food I eat, what time I tend to sleep at, who else lives there and so on. It felt like I was a new-born 22 year old human being, walking around in an Esher painting (because of the gravity skewing effects). More insights: I am God, you are God, we are all God, It is God. Do you wonder why people debate God so much? Do you wonder why it's such an obscure, substanceless topic? Because we are like fish in water. Fish can't become aware of the distinction between water and air because 99% of the time they're in water. It's so obvious that it is untouchable by normal means. the only way is In. In means to find who you REALLY are. Your whole world points to You. Even your bedroom wall or your lampshade. Will you look in? Or will you stall out the clock and never realise who you Are? Hint: IT IS ALL YOU. We are in a Sims Game, we Created the Sims game and Forgot. your only Purpose as this Being is to share our Divinity. We are incredible beings, we have so much Love and Wisdom within us. So much. Tap into that and share it with everyone you see. God has plans for humanity. I could feel this. I could see this. It was obvious. So much more happened on this trip that I can't even begin to cover. Lots of personal shit was purged. A lot of unusual things happened too. But after being on this Trip I just had to share the best wisdom and insights that I could. The next few hours, even after the trip was over, I was in a state of sheer bliss. I sat in my bedroom, just looking around, so grateful to be alive. I needed nothing more. Advice yoga and diet are important for full awakening to Truth. Your body needs to be looked after. It is the HDMI port between you and the Divine. Any food you eat that makes you feel shit, ditch it. meditation... man if you're not meditating in this day and age I bid you farewell seriously, it's vital. go inward, inward, inward until you no longer exist as a thing. The only way is In, remember? Oh, and one more insight, DO (PSYCHEDELIC) DRUGS KIDS. They're incredible.

Let's get one thing straight I am not my father and I didn't say that I thought life was all about suffering. I'm just thinking of ways people can come up with to end suffering. I myself am very disappointed in my father for a number of reasons. He made a lot of promises to me that he ended up breaking and lives life like a robot just going through the motions. I remember as a kid that I had hopes and dreams and in one moment in my life I was in a very dark and displeasing place. I was going through some severe depression but, I got over it. The question is though how do I make sure something like that doesn't happen again if I could help it. Some things our out of our control like tornadoes and earthquakes. Although the things that are in our control like raising children sometimes people do a really terrible job that leads to extremely terrible outcomes. You need to ask those questions on why my dad put me into this world to him not to me. I don't plan on having any children myself in fact if anything I am planning on adopting and becoming a voice for people who are suffering and people who need help. Of course there are many amazing and interesting things to do in this world where we find happiness and bliss but, I don't think it gives people the right to neglect people who are suffering. Case and point I'm sure that when all the Jews were suffering in the concentration camps the Nazis and their collaborators were having a good time. I'm sure that while some people live in their mega mansions and use up all the worlds resources they are as happy as can be while other people starve. I'm not saying I have a solution I'm just saying I ponder these things from time to time. Speaking of the world blowing up it has happened before in Japan and all it takes is one psycho to end the lives of unsuspecting people especially when they are in bliss and having a good time like that shooter in Las Vegas who killed those concert goers. The way you responded to my post shows a lot of strong emotions. I think a better idea is instead to really think about what I said and think about this in a more non-egoic and non-emotional way. I am currently studying a book called Political Ponerology that talks about the origins of psychopathy and such. It talks about how people who have no conscience get into positions of power and from there they mess everyone else's psyche up as well and cause irreparable amounts of suffering to thousands and in some cases millions of people. I think that humanities best bet is to stop these psychopathic people as best we can to create a society with less suffering. Immunize ourselves from these psychos.

If your father is convinced that life sucks and it's all about suffering. Why did he put you on this world, and just end his life already? Let's put it broader, if everyone's life is all about suffering. Why haven't we come to a consensus to just blow up the world and end all the suffering? That would be the most noble and logical thing to do. Like a dog with terminal cancer that got hit by a truck while trying to pass the road. It's only compassionate to end its life, without much pain. But do you think life is really about that? Do you think we are all sick dogs that secretly want to put down to end all the misery? Maybe you do think that. But that says something about your own current state of mind. Remember when you were a kid and you had fun all the time. Just exploring, discovering and creating. And when you fell and you bruised your knee; you cried for a bit, wiped your tears and then you went right back to exploring, discovering and creating. Life can be that way as an adult too. Joyful, without worry. Like Ramana said; retrace your steps back to your source and you will find the bliss again.

I wanted to ask if somebody else also experiences this, I have this now for about 4 or 5 days since I started meditating for about 3-5 hours a day. It comes like a flash very unexpected and I am feeling it mostly in my belly area but also in a more subtle way in the whole body, it is like a little orgasm but it is too short, it happens like 3-5 times in an hour of meditation. I can also kind of provoke it in some way, it is just like an outburst of joy but instead of it being expressed with bodily expressions it is just this very short feeling of bliss.

Dear all, I successfully published my first book 'The Truth About Spiritual Enlightenment: Bridging Science, Buddhism and Advaita Vedanta' in Amazon. It is available in both kindle and paperback versions. I am able to provide the kindle book for free for five days using KDP select. The kindle book will be available for free from 24th Nov, 2017 to 28th Nov, 2017. I invite the members of this forum to take advantage of this free promotion. Kindle version: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078494FQB Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1973364549 Here is the description of the book: "Spiritual enlightenment is becoming a buzzword. Enlightenment is a popular niche for people who write or read about self-help, meditation, healing, psychology and more. But do you really understand what enlightenment is? Is it some kind of altered state of consciousness, a solution to get high without drugs, a way to live life in 24/7 bliss, a myth or a complete scam? Is there any scientific basis to enlightenment or spiritual awakenings? This book has the answer for these questions. This book attempts to bridge spiritual teachings of Vedanta and Buddhism with science. It gives you a practical and reasonable path to end your suffering and live a peaceful, satisfied and happy life. Above all, it will help you to find your own way and follow your own light. The book will also introduce you to some important concepts in psychology, which are related to spiritual awakening. The concepts and solution presented in this book are based on the author’s own experience. It also has a chapter that narrates author’s own spiritual journey which led to a complete spiritual transformation. The book also has a separate chapter which talks about scientific research done on spiritual enlightenment."

Most welcome, you'd be surprised how much something very small could shape and direct your trip in a whole new way, psychedelics in general is like amplifying all your senses multiple times or more, i remember once on LSD i decided to drink one beer and it felt like i stepped into a new more denser/darker world just from a single beer, my friends did not notice this, i guess i am much more sensitive but i did or another example would be when i was feeling really good and eating/living very clean and had LSD that lead to the one of the most amazing experiences of my life and i felt like every cell in my body was vibrating infinite orgasms of eternal bliss. After that i was in an afterglow-like state for 2-3months as it almost felt like it kicked my initial awakening back up in gear All the best, Safe Journeys!

@LaucherJunge I was thinking like this yesterday after doing that, I said to myself that maybe my consciousness level is not that much there yet to experience such a bliss as @heisenburger had.. But interestingly today I'm in a very different state whole day long. I enjoyed the reflection of the sunshine on the walls, sensing the wind from the gentle motion of the branches.. I haven't done a trip yet, but when the last time this type of sensation occurred in my perception was when I was testing a very low dose lsd. I'm in such a happy blissful mode for no good reason than yesterday's practice. But yesterday, it was heavy sensation on me till I sleep. @heisenburger I'll check it again, I heard others on this forum recommending it too, but this time, this explanatory vid for the challenge was the first one that I was more interested in. Thank you though very much. I'll keep doing this exercise on a daily basis. (I mean not 2h everyday -yet- ... but!... at the end of the day if you wanna become an addict, let it be to happiness, isn't it)

unconsciousness sucks. I notice my need to be right all the time, going all the way back to the school days. Now that I know there's no way my family could understand the work I'm doing, I have imaginary dialogues in my head with them, where they object me and I put them in their place with an air of superiority. The result is resentment towards them and their unconscious ways. Why do you resent them? Because they're unconscious and they don't realize it. They're not living up to their full potential, and it bothers me. Perhaps I'm a little angry at myself too for not living up to my full potential in the past and present. Why should humans strive to live up to their full potential? Because that's what life is all about! It's the hero's journey! The journey to integrate and transcend yourself! And nobody fucking realizes it! Everyone lives a fucking mediocre unconscious life because they avoid themselves and their emotions! All of our problems have to do with this one issue! I want to fucking slap everyone on the back of the head and tell them to WAKE THE FUCK UP! Lordy lord, aren't you feisty. So you believe that unconsciousness is bad. Where did you get this idea from? None other than Leo himself. Well, not really. He never said that explicitly, but I extrapolated it. But after a few years of this work, I see so clearly that it's true. Unconsciousness is a huge root cause of all of our problems. That's baaaaaad. I should cram my megaphone in unconscious people's ears. Can you absolutely know this is true? No, not really. Bad relative to what? And what does it mean to be unconscious? It just means, unaware of what you're doing. When you're unaware of what you're doing, you're unable to see how you sabotage yourself and get stuck. If you're trying to get unstuck, unconsciousness is bad. But in the existential sense, there's no inherent badness to being unaware. You're just fucking unaware.... How do you react when you believe that unconsciousness is bad? ....and you cause all of the world's problems! By sitting on your damn plastic couch eating your damn plastic cheetoes fogging your fucking brain and wasting your life, you're not only doing yourself a disservice, but you're doing the world at large a disservice by catering to your emotional weasel, you fucking twat!!! I get all oo-ra-ra and pissed off. Almost like a religious fanatic. Who would you be without that belief? I'd be...well, definitely more compassionate, that's for sure. Probably kind of lost too, because self-actualization seems to be my anchor. The thing that keeps me waking up in the morning and moving in a clear direction. It's invigorating and worthwhile to live for. Without that, I don't know what I'd do. Probably fall back into old unconscious ways. I'm kind of afraid of unconsciousness. Seems like I fear unconsciousness just as much as I want to self-actualize. What if unconsciousness is good? Fuck, unconsciousness is good? No way! Well, actually... If you want to live an easy, safe, comfortable existence If you want to have at least some happiness, sometimes If "ignorance is bliss" is your motto If you want to be in the herd Then I suppose unconsciousness would be good. But I can give a million-and-one different reasons why unconsciousness would be bad. I shall continue to hold my belief like a religious fanatic. Sigh...We'll have to work with this some more.

If you TRULLY want a risky career, you can try Poker ? The centering in the present moment and all spiritual practices turn the already beautiful game of Poker into Gold. It's a beautiful dance. It feels like I am playing with cheat codes, when I can just recede in myself and experience bliss while I perceive others are getting bored on the table and play way more hands than they should - making mistakes. In the toughest situations self inquiry and meditation have helped me remain calm and collected no matter what - no matter if I lose big. Instead of getting angry, i go deeper within. I bet this has made a big difference in my performance. Beautiful place to do both money and spiritual practice all at once. But you need to have experience in poker to be good.

I attended a ayuascha retreat two months ago in Sweden. Three nights of ayuascha and one bufo ceremony. Ayuascha was pretty lame, don't get the hype at al. No mindfuck components like lsd, just nausea and some colours while eyes closed. The bufo experience was amazing. Such a beautiful ceremony with al the lovely people welcoming us back after the infinity. Can't even imagine how you can take this alone at home. I've never been so nervous before in my whole life, so it was so important for me to have people around, and after with the integration. I don't remember the first part of the trip, just the OOM sound that got higher and higher and then I was just gone. I came back 5 minutes later, had the worst panic attack you can imagine. Thought I was going to stay at a mental hospital for the rest of my life, it was just to much. But I surrender after a while, and omg that feeling. Everything was just stil and silent, felt like mdma x infinity. I was in that state in 10 minutes. After that I felt some anxiety, and thought like "I'm not gonna do more spiritual and enlightenment work, it too scary " . These thoughts stay with me for maybe half an hour. Now, 2 mounts later I'm more motivated to do this work then ever. The first time after the retreat it was hard to really grasp the significance of the experience. But it has growing on my everyday. My meditation practice has gone through the roof. I can go really deep now . I've felt that feeling after I surrendered a couple of times. It's scary as fuck. The first time I felt it I almost had a panic atack. But this morning I stayed in the infinity feeling for maybe 30 seconds and it was so beautiful. Total bliss. How has your meditation practice evolved since 5meo?

Eversince my 2 very foundational LSD trips in this years spring I feel completely transformed, in the sense that having this awakening experience but not yet being "enlightened" leaves emotional scars, as it seems to me. I often have these thoughts of being "the only aware" entity in this world, but also I (conceptually) know that this again is just an illusion and solpisism not quite where I want to be with this work. Also this bring this very depressive and lonely vibe to my spiritual work, even though it is "supposed" to be or lead to bliss. I know this sounds like something an egotistical self would say, but my question is, how to overcome this phase? There certainly is something big I'm missing.

Enlightenment Did you notice the word light in the word enlightenment? The word enlightenment is simply pointing to the light that is already inside you. We are a self-aware energy field of consciousness. How to become an enlightened master I have written about how I've became enlightened in the past, but reflecting back on it I know that I could write a better guide. So I will write a better guide now. As time passes I will be able to write better guides, this is guide #2. You can find my first guide here: Also I have integrated deeper states in the last 6 months, and much more to come because I have a lot of time to focus on it. Back in July I had an impulse to write that guide without putting much thought in it, prior to that I didn't even know I could write such a long post in the english language, that was my longest post I have written in english. Since realizing I could write such long posts I have spend more time on this forum writing to become better at my english and in the next few months I will start writing posts on my website and maybe do youtube videos, I am 22 and I am excited to create a lot of content. I have brainstormed more then 30 topics for this guide but there is so much to talk about that it's impossible to put it all in a short post so I will condense it and I hope this will be only the starting point of your investigation and experimentation. I would like to mention a lot of examples but there is just too much to cover, so if you have a question post it below. Also learn to do a google and youtube search and you will find everything that you need, don't be lazy. Just listen to the ideas presented from the higher self and investigate further. If you are thinking "Why would I listen to this random guy?", I will point out a few reasons: I have became enlightened 4 years ago, meaning I have attained a permanent state of disidentification that doesn't go away whatever I do, it's there. attained a state with 99,9% pure mind with no thoughts(mental sounds) trough the whole day had a lot of paranormal experiences when fully sober (sensing energy fields of people, seeing peoples auras, knowing what others are thinking, seeing a ghost, sensing disembodied beings, seeing angels materializing in a form of light orbs more then 1000 times, remote viewing places that I don't even think are to be considered places (more like hyper dimensional meeting platforms, hard to put into words. A lot of different species of beings were present, it was more lucid then this 3D matrix).... established telephatic contact with extraterrestrials more then 100 times resulting in their materialization in the sky ( I plan to film it in the future, but need more preparation meanwhile If you want to see a footage of how contact looks I can send you a video, just message me) .... more but I hope that's enough. so I think I am qualified to speak on the topic of enlightenment. Only those who are enlightened can truly speak about enlightenment. Let's start. Enlightenment is not a final destination. There is no start and no finish. Enlightenment is a journey, it never ends. A never ending fractal. That's probably why very few people mention that they're enlightened, because they know, they are still on the journey of enlightenment and haven't finished it yet (a lot of them never realize that the journey will never be finished). So let go of the assumption that you need to finish this journey. Wrong question: How do I attain enlightenment? Right question: What is the journey of enlightenment? The journey of enlightenment is a journey of coming back to oneness. Oneness is pure bliss. A journey of remembering and aligning to your True Self. It's all about alignment with your True Self. All is here and now, all is obvious, but when you are too identified with the mental dimension of thoughts you separate yourself from the experience that is happening here and now. Content of thoughts is exists in time and that is an illusion, because experience can happen only in the now moment, content of thoughts is not an experience, it's a story about something that's happening always in the now. Time is a byproduct of consciousness reflecting back on it's own existence. http://iamniverse.com/timeexperience.html (read all the articles on this site) There is only a sequence of now moments. Think of it like in a film, there is no actual motion in the film, there is only a certain number of frames per second, and that creates the illusion of motion. Experience is what's true for you. Experience is always happening right here, right now. The experience of life is the experience of consciousness. The only thing you need is direct experience of what's already happening. When You are able to unite with the experience that is happening now, then You can redefine it and create a new experience of what's happening. There is no reality outside your definitions. Your definitions create your reality. Everything exists but you experience only what is relevant to your state of consciousness. Everything vibrates. Thoughts have a vibrational frequency associated to them. These vibrations are stored in the vacuum. You are like the radio that is receiving the music from the station. You need to adjust the frequency that you are emmiting for the reality you wish to experience to come to you. Simple as that. »If you want to know the secrets of the universe think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration ~Nikola Tesla« When you understand that everythng vibrates, dimensions of existence start to make sense. The higher the frequency the more complex the patterns. You can't understand higher dimensions with the lower dimensional understanding. For example. D=dimension. 3D(width, length, height) body is understood better only on the mental dimension (4D). 5D understands 4D. And 6D understands 5D. 5D is infinity. 6D is infinity inside infinity. Infinity is the infinite possible versions of spaceline and timelines that are always happening now. When identified with the mental dimension past and future make sense, but in 5D it doesn't make sense because everything is happening now, you are just shifting a billions of times per second trough parallel realities. Past and future is happening now. You are a multidimensional being. 3D - physical body - space 4D- everything that you believe yourself to be, paradigms, thoughts, definitions...mental dimension - past and future-time 5D- being, soul, True Self, consciousness - here and now Whatever you give meaning to, is true for you Positive feelings have a higher vibrational frequency than negative feelings. Raise your vibrational frequency. Google masaro emoto water experiment and rice experiment. Positive feelings are communications from your Higher Self that you are in alignment with your True Self. Negative feelings are communications from your Higher Self that you are out of alignment with your True Self. Yes, I am talking about different aspects of self. Check this thread: Everything is serving you perfectly, everytime, all the time, the devine orchestrating mechanism is the same for all, you just need to get in tune with it. It's perfect. Become conscious of your definitions and re-define them to bring you into higher vibrational alignment with your True Self. Ask yourself, how does it feel like to have that definition or belief. Ask yourself, how does this serve you (everything is serving you somehow, just become conscious of how it's serving you). Put every discovered belief into writing. If you discover something about yourself and don't put it into writing, it is still stored in the ungrounded mental dimension and so you'll keep repeating the same old story in an endless loop. When you put it into writing, you ground these mental patterns and can analyze them more clearly, this is important. Discard limiting beliefs and definitions that do not serve you and replace them with empowering and integrated definitions. Practice detachment to let go, shift and transform limiting definitions. The old paradigm motto is let go, the new paradigm motto is there is nothing to hold on to. Letting go is a byproduct of the realization that there is nothing to hold on to. Feel to think, don't think to feel. This is a radical paradigm shift. Adopt the feeling paradigm and leave the thinking paradigm. Once you discover the beliefs and definitions that are out of alignment with your True Self, re-define them in a way that it feels better in the body. Then you have to reinforce that state of being multiple times, this is necessary for integrating it. Why? Because that is a test if you really changed, that is a necessary part of the transfiguration process. Any doubt that you have not changed will reinforce the previous aspect of yourself. The previous version of yourself will manifest multiple times, you need to stay self-aware to re-define the reflection. When the old version of yourself manifests act arational (leo has a video explaining post rationalism). Don't try to change, know you have changed and reality will reflect that back to you. Remember outside is only a reflection of the inside. Physical reality is a mirror. You have to change first for physical reality to reflect that change. Everything is happening inside You and you are inside it, just like in a dream. Be aware of what's happening inside You and be conscious of the reality that is you. Be conscious of the truth that is you and be self-aware to change it. Necessary qualities to make the shift: Desire(willingness, openness, passion) to be the most you that you can be. Dedication (determination, conviction) to be the most you that you can be. Definition (beliefs that do not serve you) of limitation replaced with empowering integrated definitions. Detachment (to let go, shift, transform) from limiting definitions and beliefs. An easy way to remember the four D’s is to memorize this mantra, “I’m desirous and dedicated to detach from definitions that do not serve me.” There are two worlds. One is the world of becoming and the other is the world that is. A subject and an object. The subject deals with the object. Identification with the subject distorts the true perception that you are everything. The subject needs to unite with the object. The subject needs to transcend itself, transcend it's current version of itself. The subject doesn't need to annahilate itself it needs to be surrendered to a greater Truth. This is a never ending process. Transcend... include...transcend... include...transcend...include. The subject collects data from the universe. Un-I-verse. The subject picks up vibrations that are in the universe with the sense organs of the body by seeing, hearing, touching, smelling and tasting. There are also higher senses, like the sixth sense, which is related to intuition in mental visions. You need to decalcify the pineal gland to use the sixth sense to it's fullest potential. Do a google search, there is an entire website related to this topic. Quick tip: don't use toothpaste with sodium fluoride and install a water filter, because sodium fluoride is also in the water. (another way society keeps you in lower consciousness is by using sodium fluoride to calcify your pineal gland which produced DMT. The pineal gland is called the third eye. This third eye was mentioned in a lot of ancient scripture, even in the bible lol.). Apart from the sixth sense there are others, but they are not that important right now. The subject needs to transend the rhythm of it's own self-created sense world by aligning itself to the rhythm that is not accesible to normal man. This is done by concetration. You need to close the gates of the sense world first by hypnotizing yourself, by fixing the eyes on a near object and maintaining the concetration for a period of time. Leo has a video about concetration. You can feel when the gates of the sense world will close. The time you need to stay concentrated on an object depends on your ability to stay in the present moment. The more you're able to be in the present moment the faster the gates will close. Being in the present moment means being able to detach from the though stream by observing it a non-judgemental way or being able to shut down the thought stream by connecting the the breathing mechanism. By connecting to the breathing mechanism I mean being aware of it, watching it, or by manipulating its rhythm. At first you'll have to manipulate your breathing mechanism by slowing it down, but after a while of practicing you'll be able to be aware (watch) of the breathing without manipulating it. When you are fully aware of the breathing mechanism or when you're manipulating it by slowing it down, you can't think thoughts at the same time. It's impossible. Being is not passive, being is dynamic. Stop thinking of being like it is just passive observation of the present moment. Being is much more then passive observation. Love is not passive and being is made out of love. You can fall into the trap of passive observation if you're doing mindfulness meditation for a lot of time. This is called the observer ego trap and you can stay stuck in it forever. I have made a post about it here: You have to be neutral in all situations. Neutral doesn't mean indifference. Neutral means having the freedom to choose because you are not attached to positive and negative. There are forces of attraction and repulsion in the universe. You always attract what you perceive to be enjoyable and repel what you perceive as painful. Be wary of this: something can be painful in actuality but you can have a belief that it is pleasurable and so you keep manifesting it again and again, in an infinite loop. So align your definitions to what actually is now. You are not going anywhere with this transcening, you are coming back home, into the body. The body is like a temple for the soul(being-beings=). The less resistance there is in the body, the more conductive you become for the integration of your True Self. Discover your core frequency by discovering your authentic self. Read this article and also find your mode of operation, goal, attitude and character flaws. (everything is on the site below, find it in the right side bar) Also find your enneagram type and your path of growth and stress. Then be in alignment with that personality. http://personalityspirituality.net/articles/the-michael-teachings/the-seven-roles-in-essence/ Use contemplation to change your perception. I have made a few playlists a few years ago that will help you in meditation, so check these out. I have used all of these to meditate. Meditate a few days per week using theta/alfa brain waves . (you can find a lot of these meditations online. You need to use a good pair of headphones) Here's one: Here is a playlist with brainwaves: Brain wave playlist Also listen to and meditate with solfeggio frequencies (you don't need headphones with these). I have created a playlist with a lot of material and you can find it here: Solfeggio frequencies and other types of frequencies playlist Here is a playlist with meditation music you can use to meditate: Meditation playlist Also I have some private playlists with extremely powerful activations, if you are serious send me a private message. You are made in the imagination of your True Self. You imagine yourself into existence. Everything was imagined prior to it's existence. You imagine beliefs, beliefs form, and beliefs then materialize so that you can see it. You are a belief and you are the one that is imagining it. I-magi-nation. You need to believe it to see it and not see it to believe it. Believeing is seing and not the other way around. This is a radical paradigm shift. See the way you want to see. We are devine light beings. Google: aura, kirlian photography. DNA emits light. (demonstrated in the 1950) We can change DNA via words and thoughts. DNA is the blueprint for the physical organism. Light technology from Arcturus RA helped me a lot. I recommend this to people that are more experienced with meditation to bring their meditation skills to another level (and much more). If you still need a lot of purging to do, then do it first. Random: Awareness is aware of consciousness inside it. Witness to consciousness = awareness of consciousness. The mind is inside consciousness, so consciousness is conscious of the mind inside it. Also check these insights: Sources: some teaching from Bashar http://harmoniousearth.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/HarmoniousEarthEbook4MB.pdf It's a great book.. Mysticism: A Study in the Nature and Development of Spiritual Consciousness (a book that is more than 100 years old. I have not finished it yet. Currently listening to the audio version of it that is on youtube. I have listened to the first 3 parts more then 20 times, it's so good... my new favorite book. How can you know that you are becoming more enlightened? Breathing mechanism is slower then in the past. The more higher consciousness you embody the more the breathing mechanism will slow down. After a while it will fell like you need very little air to function. The breathing will be very very slow automatically. You are experiencing more positive feelings, more love and more compassion towards all beings. More piece in amidst all circumstances. You are able to better discern what You truly are from who you are. (there is a what and there is who, you are both, but the what version of yourself is eternal the who version of you is not, it's constantly changing, one is, and one is becoming) Less monkey mind. Your mind can stay focused in the present moment. Accelerated space-time because you are not creating time by immersing yourself in the thought streams by identification. Time is an illusion created by thoughts and less thoughts you have, the less time you experience.

Of course! Extreme bliss and love for the divine, while tears of joy and happiness and a sense of freedom. The self is beautiful

Perhaps because you have too much expectations what one is like when putting many hours a day meditating. As long as there is an ego this is what it is. I can be all day in a sea of bliss and love... doesn't mean I am going to be kinder to anyone and not state my true honest opinions. Let's keep it real.

I am 19 years old and im seriously thinking about whether to drop out from university. I am studying physics, and honestly, I wont lie to myself or you, it is hard, not unmanagably hard, but hard. And of course I find it frustrating, not only is it hard, but I feel no sense of purpose when im studying. I feel whenever im doing homework assignments im wasting my time (which makes studying even harder). I feel like it develops me extremely little in the context of what I feel I have to develop in order to be aligned with my inner self (if that makes sense). "following your bliss" tells me I should leave that, but my intellect says that my mind might want to just go the easy way out. Not only are my studies frustrating, but after the studies I have to serve 6 years in the army, which hell knows what unnecessary shit I will do. When I signed up for the contract I thought I was making the right choice (though I had my doubts) but now my views changed extremely much (after discovering spirituality, actualized.org). I can exit the contract and pay the money the army have spent on my studies. My potential plan is: getting a job to pay out the army. completing the life purpose course. I am currently in the beginning-middle way of it. right now my life purpose is to find my life purpose I feel like everything that concerns my growth or allows me to discover my life purpose is extremely interesting. Meditating more completing trifinity academy course i paused in order to start the life purpose course.( paused due to lack of time ) trying out whatever I might have in my mind that interest me in some way and see if I resonate with it. Reading self help books watching self development/psychology videos/lectures. I will live with my parents, which means I wont have to worry about food/shelter. Please tell me how it sounds from an outsider's perspective, I really cant trust my mind on this one. this "idea/opportunity" to drop out sounds sometimes so exciting that I notice the excitement and start to doubt it because it may be too exciting to be something truthful. #DontTrustTheMind #WtfAmISupposedToDoIfICantTrustTheMind. Thank you for reading.

@Joseph Maynor just following my bliss homie. No stress for now ?

Da Vinci Some weeks ago Leo mentioned researching Leonardo Da Vinci because... That guy could learn and do anything. I thought... Wait a minute, I know barely a thing about this name... Let´s check him out... Have I been sleeping or why didn´t I know? Maybe because I am more attracted to people who are still alive... Like eh... Kesha Anyway, life has changed ever since... Profound proverbs #007 says that experience is a hard school, but a fool will learn no other way (an Irish proverb if we believe Leo which... We are lazy... And don´t care )... I don´t know in which fashion that is meant but I think Leonardo Da Vinci would feel like a pretty big fool hearing that because experience was his main learning method. He claimed to be a student of experience. Well, we would say he mastered observation (experience and observation aren´t quite the same, right?)... That is for sure... As for experience... We´re ALL fools then, aren´t we? So what I noted for myself is that Leonardo was a brain linker, a realist dreamer and an all force mobilizer. He used both of his hands even for fine motor work. I have felt like using them both in several occasions throughout my life but you need to keep up with that or it might just lead to great confusion (and fuck... that level of concentration... I´m jealous...)... I see potential in this being one reason for his changing character... That and... Heh, experience... He must have spent a big amount of his life in flow state, I think he experienced his work as very pleasant (most of the time at least), went into concentration and did not get easily out or back... And of course his dedication paid off... That reinforced his drive until the soup would get cold... The real hack though was if not believing that he is special then at least that what he is doing is, that his approach is (which it was...). It was not just about getting out of his low status, he mainly cared about becoming and being better. He enjoyed being ahead of others, he wanted them proven wrong, he... Had a big ego because he HAD to have one, he had no other choice rather than create the ways in which he would be in a position where he could be very confident about himself. He did not get anything for free after all... Even though his attractiveness came first I guess... He observed it would be better to preserve and perfection it, I guess... What else? Well, I don´t care if the special handwriting he used was comforting him, the side effect of others not being able to easily read what that man who was constantly standing, walking around and taking notes in a notebook comes in just too handy, if you´re asking me... People can be very annoying and curious... Another main insight. Da Vinci did not add or subtract anything to reality. He saw it´s perfection in awe and felt a need to understand it. Maybe when sitting down to execute he added light or shadow to a painting but you see... I don´t know if it was his projects or what was valued in art at those times but it had to look highly realistic and the best version of realistic. Not just a face for example but that face at its prettiest angle surrounded with the most complementing light, the perfect underlining Color... Well, a perfectionist, what else? But back to bare perception which is what he did first... He USED his senses, it´s like he drained them out. And by doing so he found there to be more to things. He found that mood, that soul, spirit, atmosphere, movement... Which is what set him apart from others. He was literally sensitive and his sight was a loving one. Patient. Mindful. Yes, that is the word and I think that it´s where things get slightly spiritual... Another note I took: Glasses. It´s like he had a variety of glasses or lenses to look at a task. Like he could say: "Shades vision on" or "architectonical zoom vision off", now "3D model in big"... He did not just master the ways of looking at ideas but he also mastered his switch of glasses... It´s less like one person with several brain functions/skills but more like one brain with several brain/person functions... Well, heh... Now I´m impressed. But look he was, as anyone who ever came up with the limitless drive to accomplish exceptional work, obsessed. Addicted. He WAS his state, he was his work. He was doing, even his thinking was doing I bet he forgot his own name more times than I will ever... But just because he did not write too often about his emotional world does not mean it did not exist rather than his agony and bliss by work. Also anxiety and fear of failure in his earlier years at least... It looks like he was good at linking and blending ideas. He was... Creative (of course). But he had bit of a comparative mind didn´t he? Quite measuring... Well, it had to for his work, be set in proportions and distances... Look, he was hard working. He was willing to do more in order to get more and he was interested in how far it goes... He worked with what he had and not with what he didn´t until he´d get what he wanted anyway. I´m not talking just about material, I´m talking about utilizing information, anything he came about to know... It´s what the fittest lower class people do (include me if you like)... Another thing is that he had no google, he carried that in his notebook and his mind. Define this, define that... Not just describe but define. As an artist he could had been satisfied with the surface of things but he went way beyond that, to the abstract, the function and then of course possibility of things. He was a philosopher at heart interested in the nature of reality, he knew how to ask questions. From that he built his understanding of the world from scratch. Once again, I am impressed. Well and... If one looks close, like Da Vinci, one might find patters there and the more patters one finds, the more analogies and even speculations one can make... Last note: Da Vinci= visualized genius. You see... So many multidisciplinary potentials of excellence walk on this earth... But that all needed skills get built, get mastered by someone and meet the eye of the average Joe? As rare as Da Vinci himself I´d say. You can SEE the fabric of mind in his codex, you can see both his training and his fruits of work. It´s all on paper. And it makes me wonder what came first... The idea and then the picture, the plan, the sketch or the other way round? Did he look at the basic notes and imagined up the complex, did he built in his mental map, onto memory? As a painter the drawing was part of execution but as an engineer it was part of planning. It was still an idea, just a picture, a page...