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About Elisabeth

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  1. Sounds... good I guess? No idea how long. I think I have a similar process running at a much slower pace (I don't exactly feel clouds but ... yeah) so for me the timescale is 'it's been happening more or less over the last five years', but that says nothing about your process. The lightness and ability to feel more positive emotion then I used to feel are worth it for me.
  2. I'm not sure that's the case. The practices are just one side of the coin - life experience is a great teacher. When I was in university, there was a very sharp distinction in maturity and attitude between people who came straight from high school and people who have worked in-between. Those who had worked knew why they decided to study. Others may disagree, but imho if you can make some money on your own, and still maintain an hour or so of daily practice, you'll be better off than doing practices only, even for more time. Making your own money, cooking your own healthy meals (and inviting your parents) etc., those are incredible acts of independence, which will make your parents take you more seriously. It gives you more power, which helps you get on equal footing in negotiation - and negotiate you will, the meals you eat, the time you spend doing housework, your privacy and living arrangements... Making your own money shows yourself and your parents that you have the drive to be independent. You can then come to the negotiation table and say "Look, parents, I want to live on my own. I need X amount of money to do that. I am able to contribute Y without compromising school. Would you be willing to support me with the rest? Hopefully it's not that much more than you spend on me living at home." Now, wouldn't that be a cool kind of deal, and much easier to achieve then asking them to pay for everything? Of course, they can still say no, but it's harder for them. You are incredibly driven. I admire you. As for helping your dad, I'm afraid being a good example is indeed the best you can do.
  3. @bejapuskas I'm concerned that you see "helping with housework", in a mechanical way, as improving the relationship. Doing your share of housework is obviously part of taking on responsibility for living somewhere. Sure, it is a part of good relating to contribute to a common cause (a clean home in this case). You take on the responsibility, but you can also have boundaries. Assess what your share of housework is and do it, without prompts, but on your own terms. (That means you tell your mother that you'll take responsibility of vacuuming every other week, not the other way round ... but then you do it. If she demands something you don't think is necessary at all, you tell her you won't do it. If you assess that it's not necessary, but you see it means a lot to her, maybe you decide to do it for her, but again, that's your own call.) But this is only a small part of a relationship. Accepting them as people and actually relating to them lovingly is hard (and I'm in the process with my parents too). That also means accepting yourself as a person first. (That's easier to do once you move away - which you should, if possible - but you can likely develop it in your parents' house too.) It means you keep your interest in personal development despite your parents' disagreement but don't demand them to get on board. It means showing who you are. It means accepting who they are, including their limitations. It means understanding them, and loving them how they want to be loved, within your own limits. It means agreeing and disagreeing and working together and finding common points of interest and ways to laugh together and ways to connect in your human-ness. Think of your relationship with your friends. There is actually something you want to relate on, right? Now I've written that and I feel something is missing, but the point is: Just agreeing to what they demand from you is not having a good relationship. I hope you can see that.
  4. @Shin My very simple idea is: Find someone who strongly has those traits. An authentic female perhaps. I don't care if it's a spiritual teacher or your grandma, if your grandma is somewhat feminine. Go spend a day with her. Help out, adopt her pace, be receptive and mindful. See how that energy feels and what's good about that. At least for me, learning through personal examples and presence works with certain people, so I guess you could do that on purpose.
  5. @Nahm Sorry, I still have no reference for non-duality. I have to stick with what I have, which apart from thoughts/conceptual understanding is different layers of emotions. I think I'm trying to access the next deeper level which contains stuff I don't always have access to, including feeling "meaning" or "fulfilment" and the joy of giving/contributing, alongside with the possibility to create something beautiful just for itself etc. I know I used 6 I's in 3 sentences
  6. Thanks everyone, I don't answer everything, but I'm using all your answers as material to reflect on. I think/feel the word 'meaning' points to a specific type of experience (an emotion perhaps) that is not thinking.
  7. Loneliness. This inability to connect. Damn, I don't know if that's the right answer, but with the question worded this way it came as the first association. Maybe it's a momentary thing. I contemplated my greatest struggle a year ago in the life purpose course and I got different results then, but they are not at odds.
  8. I don't find my current carrier path to be as meaningful as I would like it, but I can't figure out what I'd rather do. To get unstuck, I'm trying to understand meaning, impact, purpose for myself. The meaning of these words (the implications they have, the feeling connected to them) are getting lost on me. Please help me by sharing what is meaningful in your work, what the words impact, purpose mean to you, and/or how doing meaningful work feels to you.
  9. Observe how "ungrateful" and especially "rude" is highly culturally dependent.
  10. Ah, alright. It's also possible that it's actually the other way round: you're tired from the stuff that you've been doing and need some rest. Personally, after a festival, I may need two days of less stimulation overall. But some structure to your day helps in both cases I believe. Even if it's just one commitment that gets you out of the house. I have great respect for you completing your vipassana retreat.
  11. It's totally possible that you are overstimulated (by tv), or under-stimulated (like, not experiencing enough new stimuli that grow you), or weirdly enough both at the same time. Unplugging from your online stuff and go enjoy some high-quality work/rest/travel/social time/experience is definitely worth a try. Ah, I see. So you're at a vacation period, where you have no responsibility, no structure and no stimuli. It's up to you to motivate yourself and it doesn't work. That's normal. You need a reason to structure your day. If you're able to, take up some a routine, some social responsibility, a time-limited project. It's - in a way - easier then motivating yourself over and over, if you have a social obligation, so go work or volunteer or at least organize something for your friends. Find a buddy to do sports with in the morning. Decide to go camping for the next week. Anything. You need an occupation. The other option is to do only what you want to do in the moment - very mindfully. Let behavior auto-correct through awareness. But frankly, I think you should go with the first one.
  12. "Responsible for people", interesting. Sounds like you are interested in fields like andragogy (teaching grown-ups) or management. If you can imagine yourself being a manager (in IT, or a big company), leading a technological startup, or something similar, it's probably ok to study IT for three years on a bachelor's level, with an emphasis on developing soft-skills on the side. IT is all pervasive today. If you wanna be a teacher or therapist find ways to go study something else There's a thread where people share vision boards in the self-actualization subforum, so I'm sure it's ok.
  13. That's a huge goal. I love it. I think you should start by studying the long history of attempts to reduce poverty and their successes and failures especially. Read the books, talk to the people, look into organizations who are already attempting it, perhaps join one to gain experience. Start by being part of an existing effort to reduce poverty, and see the difficulty of the task. Maybe you'll find out that gathering a fortune is not the right first step - or maybe it is, I don't know. You have a goal, but you're not understanding the big picture causes yet. You have to learn about history, sociology, finances, politics, psychology of poverty, diplomacy and more. You have to get nauseated by the immensity and insurmountably of the task you have taken on, and excited by the successes that have already happened. You have to evaluate different perspectives, refine your approach and change your expectations a few times, before you, maybe, find a way that works pretty well.
  14. Uh-huh. I hope you're passionate about computer science too. Although I tend to agree that studying something rigorous/technical/hard is beneficial (as soft skills like psychology are easier to learn on the side), it's no good for your parents to choose your field of study.
  15. I understand. I have had problems hanging up damn LISTS that came out of my early contemplation on life purpose while I lived with my family, because someone might read them and - the horror - ask me to justify my not-yet-born dreams. I'd probably cry at that point, because it was so emotionally charged. I was afraid they'd try to talk me into being 'rational' and 'reasonable'. Family is not always an as supportive place as we'd like it to be. I still am afraid. I'll only tell them about the finished plan, when it gets clear contours and when it's already more or less underway. Having said that, wanting a hot girl when you're 19 doesn't sound unusual. So if you feel brave, prepare some answers and hang it up, if you don't, you don't have to. Shyness is only a problem if you have absolutely no one to share your dreams with. I recommend you find two trusted friends with whom you can share your vision board - friends who are likely to either support you or disagree with you and hold you accountable to higher values, but who won't laugh at you and who won't tell about your innermost visions to other people. I hope you have some friends to share with - if not, maybe that's something worth adding right next to the hot girl picture.