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About Elisabeth

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  1. @Javfly33 It's a core part of identity/ego, I give you that. Why would a LGBTQ person get triggered when people say they are sick/sinnful/traumatized? ...... You have a point though, gotta work on some more shame.
  2. I hear your experience and refuse to generalize it. My bdsm preference isn't a symptom of self-hate and harmful beliefs. I am NOT inclined to do bdsm when I hate myself. There might be some early-on attachment trauma going on, I seem to have that, but I didn't make any direct link to my kinks yet. I refuse to look at something that has given me genuine happiness as an indicator of "being broken". IF ever my bdsm preferences disappear completely as a result of shadow work, then I'll be able to say they stemmed from trauma. Until then, it's better to treat them as human variation. Some people like sports, although it gives them physical pain, or exactly because it causes the body to cope with that stress through endorphines. Some people meditate through incredible suffering. Neither is considered a result of trauma, it's considered healthy. Why is someone who enjoys working through suffering and reaching an endorphin high through spanking or rope, while also enjoying intimacy with their partner, seen as more traumatized than the average population? Think about it. It makes no sense. So I'd say bdsm prefereces and submission fantasies certainly CAN indicate trauma, but they don't necessarily need to. Enjoy your exploration!
  3. What literature. How ignorant. From my tantric education (admittedly limited, though I've had a year of weekly training), tantra values saying yes to experience, including consciously living through desires. From my (much broader) bdsm experience, if you're into it, bdsm touches the very core of your being, your sexual energy and your will to live through challenges. There's no contradiction. Do bdsm desires fall away as you walk the spiritual or the tantric path? Personally, I think that besides psychological conditioning, there's a deep bodily-spiritual component that's hard-wired into the layer where personal identity meats biology, so as long as you're in a body and have a personality to come back to, some bdsm preference may stay. So you may as well be ok with having them and include them in your spiritual living as a part of your body's wishes instead of labeling them dark and trying to transcend them as fast as possible.
  4. Sorry about your bloodpressure trouble. Obviously, consider all medical treatment offered. Also, psychedelics make you more emotionally sensitive, and bring up unconscious stuff. So I wonder. Could it be an emotion that is accessed more easily after your last trip and makes your heart agitated?
  5. Jump on board, it's day one. Free talks to understand trauma, society, and collective healing for the next week or so. Green/Turqoise. collectivetraumasummit.com
  6. Thanks!
  7. Are you an evil person, or a person who has done one bad deed? Can you see why you did what you did And find compassion? Be kind to yourself and patient with the grieving process
  8. Also, this might be interesting to some - the Finder's course by Jeffery Martin may be a scam. (Didn't take it, but I was compelled to at some point.) https://www.reddit.com/r/streamentry/comments/98e7gd/practice_my_review_of_finders_course_exposing_the/
  9. Recently I gave my credit card details to a con website. Happened, because I was trying to download a game late at night, down and tired, and didn't pay attention to the warning signs. When it didn't work, I checked the reviews and blocked my card
  10. @Late Boomer I've read an article recently (it wasn't English) which argued that it's natural to only turn to the ego-dissolving kind of spirituality in the second half of one's life. Being interested in it earlier usually comes with a price... so don't worry. You may be in the best spot in your entire life to do the work just now.
  11. @uriel You say almost nothing about the relationship. That's unusual for a "I'm considering breakup" post. Just saying. Take a vacation alone. See if you miss her.
  12. You're probably a bit sensitive, but yeah, 100 is more than enough for the first time. You don't describe visuals. Either you're a person that doesn't get them, or the dose wasn't all that high.
  13. @melodydanielluna Reading what Yarco and other users have written .... trust your own judgement, it'll know best
  14. Thanks, well worded.
  15. Can you make your own living while studying in Turkey? It's not a terrible country, there's no death penalty, right? Would your family put you in danger aside from stopping your monetary support? If you can get a visa, it would be much better to come to Europe as a student than as a refugee. I imagine refugee camps are no fun.