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  1. @see_on_see in maslows hierarchy theres the "self transcendence stage", where motivation for it arises after your basic needs are met. im just way too low in the needs. of course when my basic needs will be fulfilled (girlfriends, sex, accomplishments, whatever) i wont be satisfied and will want more. thats the whole reason im pursuing girlfriends right now, because i want to want higher quality problems, not really because i want girlfriends as an end goal i wasnt like that before. before i knew that girlfriends wouldnt fulfill me and i would just want other things after them so i just didnt pursue them. that was a mistake because all my taste for life disappeared. now when i started to follow my desires the taste comes back. i am doing spirituality, i am meditating and journaling, just not that much because its not a top priority. also adding a heavy practice like self inquiry on top sounds too much also. also as @Nahm said, i can advance spiritually just by pursuing my desires mindfully and dealing with my limiting beliefs. no need for fancy techniques.
  2. @Nahm cool thats the path i feel is more realistic and sounds more fun than to do self inquiry for decades. also im already on that path so yay
  3. haha okay @Mulky sounds interesting. Ill try
  4. yeah I guess I had some hope that I could understand "god" just by thinking about it rationally, but apparently you gotta think about it "rationally" for a really long time so it will change your state of consciousness, and not really give a logical conclusion. sorry for wasting your time
  5. okay, so concerning my topic of conversation with @Nahm, if i set a routine of self inquiry ill just quit it after some time because i dont really desire it. I dont really care to know what I am right now. aha, understood.
  6. thanks, I will do that "dream board" and yeah, that's why im pursuing those desires, to get to the higher ones what did you mean by this?:
  7. how can i put my effort into it if i dont know what "being conscious of god" means? as far as im concerned there is awareness. i dont know if the awareness is of a soul or whatever in an outside world made of i dont know what, and i dont know if awareness is the only thing that exists. You claim that I can realize that FOR A FACT that awareness is the only thing that exists and that is god. like I can prove with absolute certainty that there exists no outside world. im saying I dont know, and i dont know if i can know, and I dont know in the case that it's possible to know, how can I know. people say "self inquiry" but that's what im doing right this second, and this is the conclusion i got to, that I dont know.
  8. Didn't understand. what's the difference between no self and enlightenment? i kinda know that the "me" is not really me, but im stuck at the conclusion that i just dont know what i am, i did inquire a lot into it. it also doesnt matter. There's still attachment in the mind to the self, but the mind also knows the self is a concept. Getting rid of attachment is a whole another matter, takes decades of work. I know that, but it doesn't imply that the "me" doesnt exist. all knowledge is conceptual, a construct of the mind, a map, but not the territory. but I cant prove there there doesnt exist a "me". I am only left with an "i dont know"
  9. i tried it for a few months, gave up on it due to no results and because the commitment was too high and i want other things more. yeah, 3 times a week. it is essential to my well being as well. i actually do that sometimes. "becoming aware of awareness", right? i do that sometimes during the day. its quite hard to become aware like that for a period of time, i can keep my awareness on it only a tiny moment and then my mind just goes blank. nothing extraordinary happened from that though yet.
  10. i dont know and i dont know how to find the answer to those questions or if its even possible to find an answer to these questions.
  11. yes, of course, i realize that, im planning to
  12. yeah, but i dont think im ready yet for that. i have at least half a decade to fulfill more basic needs. hm, i do something similar but instead of the labeling i surrender to the emotion, knowing that im just a little human and my life doesnt really matter. thats what works for my level of consciousness. i identify too much experientially with the "me" for now. i do journaling instead
  13. yeah and i did experience a lot of fascination about life during and after my LSD experience, but it didnt last
  14. what you suggested 15 min body scan 5 min loving kindness. I dont have a problem with how life is right now, its pretty good relative to 1 year ago for example. im just asking how it could be better. I just havent experienced any "peak experiences" for a very long time. life isnt that boring to me, its just doesnt have very good elements to it like it used to have long ago sometimes. @Preetom Maybe you're right that ive been desensitized but im not sure. im not indulging that much in pleasures. but anyway, regarding both of the ways, the visualization i tried before, i kept a gratitude journal, and i didnt connect well with it, i started to resent doing it after a while. regarding the abstaining, i also tried it and in my experience it leads to neuroticism, so i would rather not experience pleasures than to be neurotic. i think you misunderstood me a little, its not that i dont enjoy everything, i enjoy things, but not that much. my question was how to have extraordinary experiences, and not that my ordinary experiences suck too much. nothing recently, its been like that for more or less 3 years, since i finished highschool, though it started in highschool, where i would have whole periods of boredom in insatisfaction. actually recently ive started to get more joy out of life, since i started taking responsibility for my growth, writing in a journal, going to the gym often, etc. very interesting. actually what ive been doing unconsciously is trying not to find beauty in things because i felt subconsciously that it would be bad because i would be "forcing" beauty. like it should happen naturally and not by forcing it, because usually forcing things brings about a chaotic mind and neuroticism. i remember a period when i tried to get enlightened, lol. Forcing myself to believe i am a chair or whatever. I realized that this will never work because enlightenment is getting rid of beliefs and not adding ones. From there i concluded that forcing things doesnt work, but maybe it just doesnt work in enlightenment work, but in the dual world it can work. i dont know, thank you, i think this will help becoming conscious of the sublime somewhat. another example when forcing it doesnt work is with music, when im listening to music i have no idea what to listen to, and sometimes the meaning of the music just slips. its like i need to be at a lower consciousness state in order to really "hear" the music. i often get lost in thought when i try to "force" things too.