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You don’t need to do anything external (I.e. any rite, ritual, or practice) to spiritually awaken. Spiritual awakening is not dependent upon the clothes you wear, your kriya yoga practice, psychedelics, mantras, affirmations, changing how you behave in any way shape or form, upon doing any “spiritual practice” or upon anything external. To open yourself to Unconditonal Love means you don’t need to change your life in any way! You are already perfect, whole and complete right here and right now. Our minds trick us into thinking happiness is outside of us; in a spiritual practice or a relationship. Happiness comes from within. This means you are free to do anything you want externally, you don’t need to use your minds anymore to tell yourself what to do or how to behave. For the purpose of spirituality is to transcend the mind entirely, not to use the mind to motivate us to do certain things that we think could bring us happiness. All that is required, all that was ever required is to focus within, upon your heart, or upon the breathing chest. Watch unlimited happiness grow, as it does for me more everyday. Let your heart guide your external life. Let it show you the way in every second, because your heart is your true self, the infinite consciousness that always experiences a state of pure bliss. Let this video further take this all important point home. Learn to stop being a slave to your mind by coming into your hearts, by valuing Unconditonal Love more than anything else, more than any thought no matter how important it may seem. https://channelhigherself.com/videos/satsang-with-the-self/how-to-stay-motivated-to-do-spiritual-practices-meditation-yoga-etc/

@non_nothing You’d not be, so you’d definitely not be worried about anything. On the contrary, would be the realization there was never anything to worry about. Bliss. It might seem like thought is needed to get things done, etc, but it is not. Synchronicity just is, and everything gels naturally, unresisted by thought, as there never was a doer.

One of Ramana Maharshi’s core teachings was about the Heart. How all thoughts originate from the Heart, and even our soul originated there. By surrendering to Heart without reservation, Ramana promises true bliss and fufillment by knowing that we are one with God, and made of pure Love. Q : Surrender is impossible. A : Yes, complete surrender is impossible in the beginning. Partial surrender is certainly possible for all. In course of time that will lead to complete surrender. Q : Partial surrender – well – can it undo destiny? A : Oh, yes! It can. _____ Q : How I can gain that peace of mind? A : Through devotion and surrender. Bhakti is the same as vichara. The form and appearance of God -manifestation are determined by the mind of the devotee. But it is not the finality. There is the sense of duality. A Higher Power is leading you. Be led by the same. The Higher Power knows what to do and how to do it. Trust it. _____ Q: How is Grace to be obtained? A : Similar to obtaining the Self. Q : Practically, how is it to be done for us? A : By self-surrender. Bhakti and Self Enquiry are one and the same. The Self of the Advaitins is the God of the bhaktas. All systems agree on self-surrender. Attain it first. _____ Surrender will make one understand the Grace. Grace is constant. Q : How to gain Divine Grace? A : By surrender. Q : Still I do not feel Grace. A : Sincerity is wanting. Surrender should not be verbal nor conditional. Prayer is not verbal. It is from the heart. _____ Grace is both the beginning and the end. Introversion is due to Grace; Perseverance is Grace; and Realisation is Grace. That is the reason for the statement “Only surrender to Me.” If one has entirely surrendered oneself, is there any part left to ask for Grace. Surrender yourself unreservedly and the Higher Power will reveal itself. Either the thoughts are eliminated by holding on to the root thought ‘I’ or one surrenders oneself unconditionally to the Higher Power. These are the only two ways for realisation. It is not enough that one thinks of God while doing the karma, but one must continually and unceasing think of Him. Then alone will the mind become pure. God cannot be deceived by outward genuflections, bowings and prostrations. Leave it to Him. Surrender unreservedly. One of two things must be done. Either surrender because you admit your inability and also require a Higher Power to help you; or investigate into the cause of misery, go into the source and merge into the Self. Either way you will be free from misery. God never forsakes one who has surrendered. _____ Q : Can Sri Bhagavan help us to realise the Truth? A : Help is always there. Q : I do not feel the ever-present help. A : Surrender and you will find it. Q : Can I throw myself at the mercy of the Sadguru. A : Yes, instructions are necessary only so long as one has not surrendered oneself. Surrender to Him and abide by His will whether he appears or vanishes; await His pleasure. If you ask Him to do as you please, it is not surrender but command to Him. You cannot have Him obey you and yet think that you have surrendered. He knows what is best and when and how to do it. Leave everything entirely to Him. His is the burden; you have no longer any cares. All your cares are His. Such is surrender. This is bhakti. Surrender can take effect only when done with full knowledge. Such knowledge comes after enquiry. It ends in surrender. _____ There are two ways: either ask yourself, ‘Who am I?” or submit. Submit to Me and I will strike down the mind. There is no better “karma” or “bhakti” than enquiry into the self. The second path is the way of self-surrender – the way of sharanagathi. Surrender yourself to the universal and you will be absorbed in the universal. _____ Surrender is complete only when you reach the stage Thou are all’ and ‘Thy will be done’. … you can have no likes or dislikes after your surrender; your will should become completely non-existent, the Lord’s will taking its place. The death of the ego in this way brings about a state which is not different from jnana or oneness. So by whatever path you may go, you must come to jnana. _____ When one has completely surrendered oneself at the feet of Siva, thereby becoming of the nature of the Self, the resulting abundant peace, in which there is not even the least room within the Heart for one to make any complaint about one’s defects and deficiencies, alone is the nature of Supreme devotion. _____ The end of sadhana, even in bhakti marga (the path of devotion), is attained only after complete surrender. _____ You give up this and that of ‘my’ possessions. If you give up ‘I’ instead, all are given up at a stroke. The very seed of possession is lost. Thus the evil is nipped in the bud or crushed in the germ itself. Dispassion (vairagya) must be very strong to do this. Eagerness to do it must be equal to that of a man kept under water trying to rise to the surface for his life. _____ …if you remember Bhagavan, you are prompted to do so by the Self. Is not grace already there? The very fact that you are possessed of the quest for the Self is a manifestation of the divine grace. _____ Aurobindo advises complete surrender. Let us do that first and await results. Learn what surrender is. It is to merge in the source of the ego. It is enough that one surrenders oneself. Surrender is to give oneself up to the original cause of one’s being. _____ Devotion is nothing more than knowing oneself. Surrender to the substratum of appearances unreservedly; then, the reality will be left over as the residue. Some other profound quotes from Maharshi: “The purpose of self-enquiry is to focus the entire mind at its source”. (p.48).”

No, but your sufferring would stop, thereby elimating the problem. No self, no problem. For example, you cannot stop all murder, but you can become so conscious that if you were murdered, it would not bother you. This happens everyday to millions of people in the world. Millions of peole suffer pain like you can not imagine. What then? You would suffer until you died. When sufferring gets severe enough it goes full circle into peace. With enough suffering the ego-mind will simply shut off and die, thereby ending the sufferring. Linear time is not infinite. All form, all experience will one day end. Death itself is total bliss. The act of dying, maybe not so much. Ego is an illusion. It is not infinite and nothing formed lasts forever. Ego cannot be immortal. Only the no-self is immortal, and it is bliss beyond anything you can imagine.

You can also work down from the top of the pyramid from the oneness of Divine Love which will heal the birth trauma, and the core limiting belief that “I am seperate from God”. Teal Swan starts from the bottom of the pyramid to reach Divine Love. But I find starting at Divine Love more effective. To surrender into your Heart completely and experience yourself as one with God. Surrendering your entire story to the Heart until there is no doubt left that you are this brilliant eternal light, that has always experienced bliss and peace.

Trip Report 2C-B 4-aco-dmt and weed OMG Infinite Possibilities First a quote by Albert Einstein "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science." This quote tries to encapsulate my psychedelic trip into words, but it is not my experience. Let me just say that you will probably almost never read a trip report like this. This is a rare one IMO. So I took 16 mg of 2c-b, 21 mg of 4-aco-dmt. It started off pretty mundane I visited some places mentally had a few insights for my life, then about an hour and a half later I take 3 puffs of my marijuana pen/vaporizer. Then things take off. I start intensely seeing and visualizing the external world. Everything, all my thoughts became abstract art. I go outside and just stare at the trees mesmerized realizing it’s art all while this mystical feeling of wonder and mystery courses through my body and mind. I eventually realized that I was tapping into a field of infinite creativity as consciousness. Every thought, my whole being became art, an idea. I go back inside and I can visualize all my fears just fractaling out into the infinite potential and love. As this is happening all I can do is say over and over again. “Oh my God” over and over. I begin to realize that my mind is oscillating into different modes of thought that I can visualize almost all of experience as an ideas. I am experiencing extreme synesthesia (mixing of the senses) in the most mystical magical unthinkable way. Here is a collection of things I typed out while in this state. This is art of the mind. All doubts and fears just visually dropping in front of me. Infinite abstractions of the mind abstractly morphing into infinity I mastered art. My whole life became art in the most mystical abstract magical way one can imagine. I feel infinitely free in the abstract I don’t understand hell, because I am not hell, I am infinite. I’m living out every abstraction eternally I became art infinity fractaling out into infinity Ego death via abstract ideas and art. Ego and sense of I as a human is gone, caught up in infinite abstractions and ideas art My whole being is infinitely kaleidoscoping out into abstract infinity My life and being is infinite fractaling out into infinity. Feel invincible in the most abstract way. This doesn’t even make sense to Buddhism or meditation or any sort of spiritual ideas humans have about spirituality. This breaks all the rules of spirituality. Infinity caught up into fractals abstractions of the mind Art abstractly visualized into infinity. I am just playing with the top dogs now. Infinite hallucinations Infinite puzzles of consciousness. I feel like all the answers are here now. I am valuable This is good and bad. Everything and life fractalizing up into infinite abstract ideas of consciousness. Overall, I feel safe. Take my whole life and being then fractal it out into infinity in every possible way from Sunday to the most unimaginable place, in the most insane twisting turn of events in the most comedic fashion thinkable. All because there is no possible words for what I’m experiencing. This is the cosmic joke. Thus saith the lord, come and part take in the infinite mystery that awaits thee. Just don’t care about anything as a concept, I am one and the same, infinite consciousness laughing at myself in a cosmic fashion. This is it I did it and attained infinite bliss forever and ever in the abstract ideal sense. I can visualize all fears just going up into infinite abstractions of art. I feel safe in infinite abstractions of art, in the most unimaginable twist and turn of events. I don’t have a care in the world. I feel safe and infinite. I laugh at the cosmic game that of you humans are playing. I am God and I am at at the same time. I know I will laugh my ass off at what I am typing later. I have merged heaven and earth in this experience in the abstract. Anything is possible here in this space. It’s a safe place infinitely. Try to make sense of this, there is no way you can imagine it. I have walked on water. Come let’s see what you got. I am God. LOL every time I say I am God I realize that I am the infinite void of everything. I died to myself infinitely as the essence of an idea. (NOTE this is what I have to say when my mom walks in and I try to explain this.) Gee thanks mom for not understanding this beautiful abstraction I have become. LOL (Mom leaves) I can visualize my fears in the abstract. Something is infinitely gone in the abstract idea sense, that is how I feel right now. What is God or your idea of a God going to do about this there is no words for this, I am the mystery. Now I am starting to identify with earthy needs and wants. I feel like I can do anything fractaling out existence by thought and idea. Ideas and information last and evolve into the infinite fractal nature of existence, everything else you mortals do are just a distraction. I laugh at the idea of someone trying to understand this. They will say this or say that, but there is no words. I am beyond words, we are all beyond words. You humans try to understand your life through words, but words fail to project direct experience as conscious beings. I am all possibilities in one infinite picture. I am the beauty of all you can ever imagine. I am the infinite void of nothingness kaleidoscoping out into infinite void. I am just playing this game with you humans. People will be trying to understand what just happened to me this day for eons and I will laugh and say you silly you can’t understand, your using words. I am beyond words, consciousness is beyond words it must be experienced directly. I have become everything and nothing at the same time in the abstract ideal sense. I became God for an evening. What a thought. I will either talk about this to everyone or nobody. You can’t understand this. My thoughts are infinity free to move in any direction. All things are possible in this field. Everything is visually oscillating in waves of potential. I became the field of all possible thoughts, meaning I became the essence of all possible thoughts. Mystery Mystery Mystery Just stop typing I am beyond all things. Good night And that was it. To psychonauts this will likely be one of the most creative trip reports you’ll read, or to people of low consciousness this is utterly delusional. To those that are able to receive it I believe that I had an experience beyond a limited human experience. Overall I would say this trip was about helping me understand the infinite creative potential in all of us. And to help me break my mundane patters of everyday life.

Great video. My key takeaways... confirming some stuff that i've been feeling for some time now.... Nothing will ever "finally be fine." You are God, and God is on fire forever, in a hysterical clusterfudge, trying to find a way out, but never succeeding. Yeah, theres good stuff too, but the only thing that could ever truly satisfy is only good stuff and no bad stuff. There is no ultimate peace or eternal bliss. No state of rest and safety. One can "make peace with the lack of peace", but that's not very satisfying., not what we really want. The deeper the rabbit hole of inquiry and awareness goes, the more it seems like a rotten egg to me. "Oh, no wonder I'm playing the game of not being God... cuz being God sucks, and forgetting that for a while is the best i can hope for." Am I missing something? It almost seems like delusion and escapism and numbness are the ultimate, and they are closest we can get to freedom and peace. Living through every life... haha, yikes, no thanks. Reality seems like a cumbersome never-ending tv series of God shitting in his own mouth in a million different ways, with no option of doing anything else. Imprisoned on the great Ferris wheel, with no way of getting off. All the realization of Radical Oneness makes me wanna do is stop existing entirely.... Which, of course, does not seem to be an option. Sorry I don't mean to doomf*g all over everybody. But help a brother out... is there any good news to the realization of Oneness? A silver lining? I struggle to find something reassuring about Radical Oneness.

Kundalini never ends, that simple. I'm constantly using it to rejuvenate myself, to stay in a state of bliss, to basically fo everything along with the Breath. Everybody is different, take this with a grain of salt. Go into your own Breath and discover this, anyone has the access. So the highest teacher you can shoot for if your Breath.

In pure bliss the multitasking is insane, one can be fully aware of the breath and the work he is doing while thinking about a very nice project in the future while you listen to a conversation and watch a youtube video per example hahaha. Similar to when you were 6 years old and you ran all the time and had a very fine attention and distraction at the same time

@Nahm Feels like we going in circles. See how difficult it is to tell anyone anything they dont already see? And if anyone is already 'there' as the truth, why do you even feel the need to? And by trying, you distance yourself from the bliss, the 'purer' form of truth(i don't know if we can make such a distinction, but pointing at the truth that rests completely in itself and as such is an expression of bliss), of there being absolutely no problem whatsoever, no need or want. How do you ever wish to help yourself if you constantly try? Leave yourself be, you are already it. @WaveInTheOcean How do you know that searching is a necessity to find enlightenment? Because Osho said so? Or your ego wants you to believe you have to keep it alive to kill it? Perhaps he is right. But he is saying that the obstacle is truly the search, right? And that the ego keeps itself alive, moment by moment, by desire, seeking, chasing? Perhaps the search that he points to as being necessary is the one leading you to realizing that searching is what keeps you from being where you wish to be? That you were there all along but just kept this idea alive that there was something more to it. I see you quote Alan Watts in the signature. In one of his talks, cannot remember which one doesnt really matter you probably know the one im talking about, he points towards how we are sort of standing in the way of the evolution of human consciousness by believing that enlightenment is something 'I' can bring about. Perhaps 'I' like to elevate the idea of enlightenment to being something hard to accomplish, such as to make me one hell of a guy for achieving it. Perhaps the idea having to do anything at all is what keeps us from realizing that nothing is really done by anything, that it just IS. If you came to the step of final surrender, and realized, that all your struggling, all your searching and fancy ideas, had been absolutely worthless, that you in fact know absolutely nothing and never had any control or any kind of insight to set you above anyone or anything else, what would you do? Would you allow yourself to die and let go of everything you hold, everything you believe to have achieved along the way? Or keep alive the idea that you have somehow found a higher truth that you must protect by keeping alive your tiring search. Any belief must go, or the ego keeps its hold. Perhaps this is too much to swallow at once, and therefore the search(or kind of search in reverse actually, since enlightenment has nothing to do with knowledge but quite the opposite, the dissolution of knowledge/belief) acts as a parachute keeping you from burning up along your way down. Perhaps it is necessary as you believe it to be. I don't know. But since no one is right and no one is wrong, any question is without any specific answer, i could not say I am right and you are wrong that would be kind of against the point im trying to make. I do wish, however, that you ponder about these things, look at it dont just discard it because you believe to know. You dont know, neither do I. For good measure, ill post this question once again, although it can be formulated in many ways, one of which you yourself posted (the quote with the teeth): Can truth be grasped by thought if thoughts arise as expressions of truth? Some of which could perhaps be: can a light shine upon itself? A hand grasp itself? Teeth bite themselves? Can I know myself? And so, If all is I, can I know anything at all?

Here it is: @AdamDiC and I are staying at a place called Pai in northern Thailand. We got many reccomendations from many people to try the 'mushroom shake' from this little jungle shack called "Valhalla." So we woke up early one morning, skipped breakfast and meditated for an hour before riding our bikes towards Valhalla. The shroom shake tasted like banana and cocoa and it's impossible to tell how many grams or what type of shrooms. However the guy said that it was enough for one person. I'm pretty sure they were not dried, but fresh. After downing the shake we went for a short walk where a nice dog followed us and we found a little sanctuary in the middle of the jungle just off the path as the shrooms started to come on. I set the intention to connect more with nature on this trip. There wasn't much nausea but I felt a strong body load and a little dizziness as I began to see the shroomy patterns on my hands and other surfaces. There was noticable speckles, lines, and patterns on my hands. A giggly feeling began to take place as I enjoyed the wavy vibe and began experiencing different types of energy and body sensations flowing through me. I surrendered my body to these sensations and allowed my arms and upper body to flow with the energy and it felt sublime. I noticed the beauty of the jungle plants, insects, birds, and salamanders that surrounded the hut. I could feel my conciousness expanding as I allowed my thoughts to flow freely. The shrooms began to take my thoughts into deeper and deeper territory until eventually I was having profound insights about the nature of existence every second. There was very little nausea at this point and I was mesmerized by the sheer beauty and vibrance of the trees and animals that danced in front of my eyes. I continued to have thoughts about the Garden of Eden and the Genesis story in the bible. I slowly began to understand how conciousness and what Lao Tzu calls "the ten thousand things" are related to each other and require each other to remain balanced like yin and yang. For some reason I equated the beauty and form of nature (and of all things) as feminine energy and conciousness as that masculine energy which allows all phenomena to exist. There cannot be anything without conciousness. Without the primordial knowing of awareness. I began to see myself as an instrument through which reality can observe and enjoy it's own beauty. I noticed a deep sameness in all things and also that all things are different. All the beautiful trees and insects and animals were different. But they were also all the same. My trip partner and I were constantly laughing and giggling and enjoying the awesome feeling of love and wonder that came with every mystical insight. I noticed how important my vipassana meditation practice is for allowing me to differentiate concept from actuality. I also noticed how important my philosophical understanding of certain metaphysical ideas was for helping me make sense of what was happening to my conciousness. I began to stand up and allowed the shrooms to move my body and mind any which way they liked and the surrender felt amazing. I also began to talk in a very rhythmic and poetic and also musical tone that both my trip partner and I were able to tap into at the same time. I would say shit like... "Sameness and difference... is the dance... that allows... shit to be." "Sameness... is always the case." "Tune into the music of now" "I AM an Instrument" There was one point where my trip partner and I looked at each other and we both realized at the same time. "I'm scared of you..." "I am you." And we both started dying of laughter as we enjoyed being each other. We were basically thinking the same thing and we were able to finish each other's thoughts. I kept saying: "It's all the same...but different." And it was very profound. We sat and danced and sang in our hut for about three hours as we continued to peak over and over again. It felt almost as if I was continually being separated from God and then reconnecting again with a beautiful "OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH" And it appeared that this was one facet of the trip as my identity continued to expand and retract and expand and retract over and over again. The best way I can explain it was like fucking God in and out in and out over and over again and it was bliss. "The separateness creates (me and all things) and allows the oneness to be rediscovered. In this way, reality continues to fuck itself through me over and over and over" I was very calm and tranquil and blissful. I also moved very naturally, relaxed, slowly, and mindfully. I felt like an 80 year old tai chi master. After about four hours we started coming down and we noticed that the entire time we were sitting under a giant hornet's nest (LOL). Of course the giant hornets didnt want to interrupt our communion with God so they left us alone as we left them alone. The entire time the dog stayed with us and protected us in our vulnerable state. The come down was pleasant and we were very tired. I went for one of the most scenic walks of my entire life afterwards and then we stopped in on a beginner's yoga class. By that time the shrooms were almost completely out of our system. Words cannot describe how amazing and profound the peak was. The part cannot encapsulate the whole...it's so obvious. But I tried my best Hopefully y'all enjoyed hearing about my most enjoyable and profound trip thus far in my spiritual journey. Pictures

is that the place of peacefull infinte bliss and love? is that where you rest now and speak out of directly?

I didn´t write this text but I found it at the right time in my life and wanted to share it if someone else would need it. I feel there is quite a few questions about the dark night of the soul and such here so it might be interesting to someone. I don´t know if the author is enlightened or if this text is true. But it rings true in my ears at least. If Enlightenment Came with a Warning Label… So when you heard about spiritual awakening or enlightenment, what was the prize that you wanted in the end? What was the story that got you hooked? Perhaps it was something about experiencing endless bliss and joy, or maybe it was the end of suffering, or perhaps it was about experiencing constant Oneness with the Divine. Maybe it was the answer to all your life’s questions. It may be something else entirely, but whatever the case may be, I’m sure the bait was very shiny and attractive, yes? :lol It turns out that they don’t give you the full story when you start playing the game. What I’m about to share isn’t meant to discourage people on the path, but simply to help them be conscious if and when these things start occurring. These things don’t necessarily mean that something has gone wrong, although it may certainly seem that way. A helpful book to those who are experiencing the following symptoms is You’re Not Going Crazy… You’re Just Waking Up! Now, if spiritual awakening was to come with a series of warning labels, what would be printed on those labels? Warning: All your beloved attachments are going to be taken away from you. Everything you hold near and dear to your heart you must be completely and utterly willing to lose them. The more you hold onto them, the more you’ll suffer. It is only in the willingness to let go that find your freedom. By the way, letting go as a technique to trick the universe into granting your freedom, as in saying that you let go while peeking over your shoulder to see what’s to come, that doesn’t cut it. You can’t B.S. your way there. Believe me, I’ve tried… No one else has been able to pull that one off either. :lol Warning: You will experience dark nights of the soul. You will experience your entire world crumbling down. You will experience intense emotional roller coasters, to the point where you literally may feel like you’re going crazy. Warning: You must let go of all of your judgments and false sense of worth. You know all those accomplishments you’ve achieved in this lifetime? What do you brag about? You must let go of holding onto any of them as a way to enhance your self-worth and boost your sense of self. Your trophies and medals, while certainly valuable in their own right, they must lose their importance as something that makes you feel better or worthy. You are not valuable because of anything you have ever done or ever will do. You are valuable simply because you are. Because you exist. All the blows to your pride and are ways to help you let go of your false sense of worth and open up to the realization of your true worth. Warning: You must let go of all your ideas about God. In order to find God, you must quit telling yourself you already know God. All the ideas that you’ve grown up hearing, being taught, holding onto, or rejecting, all of them have to be let go of in order to be seen through. Warning: You will find yourself entering a place with no rules, no shoulds and shouldn’ts, no technique, no strategies, and no room for all of your egoic stuff and the energy of division. Warning: Your ego will throw fits. Your painbody will go crazy. Your buttons will get pushed. Your ego will throw out every trick in its book. When you start learning how to get past its tricks, it’ll become more sneaky and subtle. As you advance, your ego advances. It all happens to bring more awareness to the energies within, to help you let go of that which you previously have been unconscious to. Warning: The egoic dangers don’t end after awakening. In fact, as Adyashanti points out, the dangers after awakening get more dangerous and there’s much more of them. For example, one can settle in to seeing the Absolute as the only valid perspective and disregarding the world of the relative because it’s all “illusion.” This can lead to some very unconscious behavior and a letting go of changing that because “it doesn’t matter” and “there’s no one to change it.” Remember, the world is illusion, yes. Brahman alone is real, yes. BUT, the world IS Brahman. This is true non-duality: seeing the Reality in the so-called illusion as one. Warning: Just because you wake up, that doesn’t mean that everyone will love you and you’ll never have any struggles in life again. Just look at Jesus if you have any doubts about that one. Warning: You must come out of hiding. All the dark stuff within you that you haven’t been wanting to look at and be truthful about, it’ll all come up to the surface. All that stuff you hide from other people, the things you don’t want to show to others or to yourself, your inside will become your outside. There’s no hiding ANYTHING from anyone. It’s a deep deep level of vulnerability, sincerity, and self-honesty. Warning: All your life lessons will come to the surface. You’ll have to look at and accept everything. There’s nowhere to run and nowhere to go. You can only be here, now. There’s no one to become. Waking up isn’t a self-improvement course. Although it may appear this way on the surface, the point of waking up isn’t to become more spiritual, more loving, more enlightened, or more acceptable in the eyes of God. It’s about Self-realization, about realizing who and what you really are. You return back to your natural state and be who you really ARE, that which doesn’t have to be created, manifested, or maintained. Warning: The farther you go, the more painful it becomes to deviate from the Truth of your being. Think of it this way: If you walk into a tree at 2 mph, it’s no big deal. If you whack a tree while running as fast as you can, it’s gonna hurt. The deeper you go into Being, the more painful it is when you lie even just a little bit, hold back your Truth, don’t allow yourself to be who you are, resist what is, judge another, or in any way violate natural laws. You get a lot less slack. In Zen they call it walking the Razor’s Edge. Deviate even a little bit and you quickly get cut. Warning: You have to take complete and total responsibility for everything and everyone that shows up in your life. As your consciousness begins returning back to its natural state of timelessness, manifestation starts happening much more clearly and the link between inner thoughts and vibrations and outer manifestation becomes REALLY clear. No longer do you get the luxury of blaming others or judging others. Everything you see as a problem in others instantly gets turned around and becomes your problem. You’ll begin taking on a lot more pressure once everyone’s problems start to become yours. The world truly is your mirror. All the problems you really have with others really are problems you have within yourself. Get to work on surrender. It becomes a much more necessary skill later on. Warning: You must accept that you’ll never “get there,” that you’ll never “arrive.” You could spend an entire lifetime on this journey and never wake up. Indeed that has happened to many people. In fact, so long as you cling to your desire to get somewhere, you’ll never actually wake up to what’s already here. You must surrender completely your desire to succeed in your path of awakening. You must accept the fact that you may embark on the journey, never to actually get enlightened. Warning: You may feel very connected and One with Source/All That Is at times, and you will also experience yourself feeling totally disconnected, lost, confused, and cut off. It’s a horrible feeling. It’s the experience of pure separation, they very illusion we are trying to see beyond. Warning: Even if you get a glimpse of the Truth of your Being once or twice or a hundred times, the egoic structure may rebuild itself, leading to the experience of being unenlightened, or what we call a non-abiding awakening. Adyashanti reports that it usually takes people anywhere from 3-15 years for the momentum of awakening to settle in. Although it doesn’t happen in the future and can only happen in the now, don’t expect an overnight insta-fix. Warning: Just because you have a clear seeing of who you really are, that’s not the end of the journey. The first question is “Who Am I?” Once that’s discovered, it now becomes a matter of how what I AM manifests itself in this world. The second question upon realization is, “How then shall I live?” It’s not enough to have the inner realization. That realization must express itself out through the totality of your being for it to become a living realization. Warning: You must completely and utterly let go of control, of even controlling your survival, much less your destiny. You must be willing to die, to face the fear of death and surrender into it without attempting to stop it or control it in any way. The fear of death and the unknown become your friends. No longer will you be running from them. Warning: The more you begin living in the moment and letting go of the domination of your consciousness by your mind, you may begin experiencing memory loss. Whole blocks of memory will begin falling away. It’s not exactly like Alzehimer’s, but there very well may be some significant loss of short-term and/or long-term memory as you begin relying less upon memory and more upon a deeper intuitive knowingness. Warning: You may have intense kundalini awakenings to where it will feel like your entire nervous system is being overloaded. Many people have literally gone insane from this. It can be helpful to seek out some helpful resources including other people who have experienced similar symptoms, various practices you can do to work with the energies, and even a guru to help guide you safely through the process. Warning: You may experience cycles of confusion and clarity. In one moment you may be very wise, deep, loving, and compassionate, and in the next moment the cloudiness of the veil will return and you will no longer have a clue as to what’s going on. You may become sucked right back into your ego, experiencing your deepest and darkest fears. Warning: There is tremendous value in working with others, but you must learn to stand in your aloneness. Many of your relationships may change. Friends and family that have been close to you your whole life may be let go of. Some people will come, others will go. Some stay for the long haul. Which ones will stay and which ones will go? Who knows? The flow of the river will determine that more than any conscious decision. You can try to make it a conscious decision, but that will actually be more of a resistance to the flow and a desire to control than anything else. You don’t get to control the process. It happens. The you you think you are doesn’t make it happen. Warning: You don’t get anything as a result of awakening. There’s no thing you get as a prize such as a good feeling such as a constant never-ending wonderful enlightened experience or a boost to your self-esteem. (What self would we be talking about anyways who has a self-esteem?) You get nothing, but BOY what a nothing it is. By seeing that you ARE that nothingness, and that you ARE the entire universe arising from that nothingness, you realize that what you ARE is already more than anything that could ever be wanted, as Gangaji so beautifully puts it. Whew!! Now as I say all of this I’m laughing. In certain moments it can be a crazy, wild, intense, OMG-I’m-gonna-die experience, yes, particularly when you’re in the heat of the moment, but it’s like waking up from a dream at night… You recognize that it was all just a dream and it doesn’t feel like it was actually all that real. What you ARE is infinitely more real than anything that appears in this world. Those experiences will begin to feel so distant and faded, like a memory that you can only partially and vaguely remember, as if it happened to another person entirely in another far-off world. That said, it’s worth it. It’s all SO worth it. The direct realization of who and what you really are is SO worth all of the bumps and jolts that we experience along the way. Things to lighten up as you do. Not everyone will necessarily experience every single thing listed above. For some people, some experiences may be more profound than others. In fact, there are many other things that one may experience that haven’t been listed in this post. Either way, there is a book I’d HIGHLY recommend that people check out titled You’re Not Going Crazy… You’re Just Waking Up! by Michael Mirdad. You can read my full review of it here. For those of you who’ve also been walking the path for a little while now, what “warnings” would you give someone who’s getting started and doesn’t know what to expect? By: Ariel Bravy

@Martin123 this resonates with me. oh my god, how can this be? I've just come back from a break from this place.. and what you write..wow. just perfect for this moment. I'm not sure what happened, but lately I seem to be extremely sensitive. lots of empathy, lots of feelings I get from speaking to people. and it sometimes really hurts.. my heart has just been broken a little. all the suffering is pouring back in, after weeks, months of joy, lightness and bliss. fuck. why. I've made myself vulnerable again. and now I've been crushed again. something little made my heart break. how can I handle this new found sensitivity?

Actually his videos are pretty calming I should spend an afternoon just sitting and watching this guy... maybe I can bliss out with him. (Only looking away to piss in a jar if I need to) Deeply inspiring thought, thanks for sharing! I watched him a long time ago, and I just always wanted to find an excuse for him getting away with that ("he is crazy" "he is on meth", etc). Maybe he is sitting there and tripping? Who knows...

@non_nothing or it takes nothing if he's self realized and just yoloing about it. it's probably 4 hours of continuous bliss and and being in that oneness state - and just recording it vs normally most of us would just sit but yeah, i do still agree. takes balls! love the comments under the video though there are some who question that to be meditation that he is doing. but most think he's lost it - i can see why they may think so kudos to this guy though

yesterday after having a mini joint of w33d, i went into this brief state in which none of the visual/overall experience changed... but it all changed... the best way i can now put it to myself is like all of a sudden being inside of a VR video - except much more deeply (with all 5 senses involved) it was from a place of watching at first... "I" did not notice it... it was rather when "I" noticed that I am in that state... the "am in the state" became "was in that state" I now get why it is said any movement/thought takes you out of it my mind wanted to say/shout/exclaim WOW! and investigate that state and how I got there but any "doing" of that sort took me out of it yet while i was in that state, i sort of understood/noticed/realized that i am in it - without having the need to think about it it was amazing! i'm sure any of you who has had a non-dual experience would know what I am talking about i also have some questions the state did not feel like what I would call "infinte bliss" or "infinte love" i still had a sense of a body in that - i did not disassociate with my body in that moment. i did realize though that I am all of the expereince - with a focal point of view stemming from the body i did not have an experience of death to reach this state i kinda melted into that state i am not asking for or wishing that i go thru the ego death process or torture before arriving in that state again - i am just rather questioning that it was effortless for me... i guess having read up on so many things kinda places different checkpoints in your mind you feel like you will have to go thru to get to that state and that is why there is beauty in "ignorance is bliss" however, i feel that the subtleness of that state for the ones who arent aware of it. will miss it. they will be in that state as much as you might be. but since that concept is so impossible for them, they will miss it.. they DO miss it. anytime someone is watching a movie or an intense sport. you're fully into that experieince. that's no different than a non-dual state it really is so simple now. i am wanting to get back to that state but i know I cannot get there i can desire to get there but i cannot try to get there trying to get there = not getting there action = blocking the entrance MELT INTO IT SLEEP INTO IT DO WHAT YOU NORMALLY DO TO FALL ASLEEP - NOTHING! You let go and go into that state though again, note that i was under the influence of the ganja which may have helped but i think repeatedly going back in that state will help me build that state up. as mooji says: marinate in that oneness <3 and i can also see how letting go of my ego attachments will make me closer and closer to that state all about surrderinding and not minding what happens and accepting all that is <3 <3 <3 love you all I LOVE ME there is no I, so LOVE ME but there is also no me... so just LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE <3

yep. Conditioned chit chat Well yeah I have trouble because I don’t have much of a vocabulary. There is an effort to look up words. But once I look up a word I understand what’s said. The more unknown terms makes it more challenging. Also context plays a big part. But since This holistic understanding of thought I can pretty much capture what said and catch contradictions too. But effort as in psychologically no not at all. That is seen as it arises and thought or time doesn’t operate psychologically.I have really got in touch with movement of thinking/time/self as opposed to content as far as intellectual/verbal meanings. I often look up a word and right away can apply that to my understanding of thought as a whole. But no effort psychologically. Effort psychologically means thought went beyond its limits. Do you see what I mean? Desire, pleasure seeking, looking for happiness through memory/thought means we think doing that will make us whole/complete/in a state of bliss. But thought can never offer that, and when it tries to that just sustained false self.

Hi, guys. Heads up. This is a post about sinking into the meaninglessness of everything, and I will include my own experience as well as many of us. I had problems sleeping most of my life. Most of us have been lying awake in a deep hole, thinking about the world. The meaning. Death. Will I be in an endless black void after my death, until the universe collapse? Infinite darkness. For us who have have these "haunted" (blessed) thoughts know how anxiety, depression and stress works and feels, and how much "muddy" water we have in our cup. How insanely intelligent you are. It`s "rude" to even try project any vocabular on it. My/Our thoughts have been fixated on these issues, for most of my life. Always there. Whenever I was still, I got into this. Twisting the beliefs of atoms as fundemental blocks, only to hear about newer and newer discoveries. String. Void. Now here is where the frustration really went big. What the fuck is this made out of? Who or what "wrote" the laws?! It simply can not be this. Science is explaining all of it, by theory (lol), and no matter how much the paradigm invent, they still was relaxed about the idea of Big Bang. This was just kinda waved over to the side, agreed upon and back to sleep. Cracks me up. We know all about the mechanics, but the blueprint was left murky. Late 2017 we had come this far in science, but scientists had only 5 possible theories to what consciousness is. This brings my palm to my forhead. One year ago I gave up my life. I guess most of us experienced this beautiful moment. I quit geology, quit bodybuilding, quit surfing, and gave up my image. I could not see any meaning anymore. I did my first open eyes meditation in a pool, where after about 2 mins my mind exploded in an instant. "I came back" to myself, looking around at everything in great fear and confusion. I saw the fundemental ego, just like that. Boom, there it was. Of course I got sick, and had to go home, where I did not recognize my appartement. Two weeks of insanity came, where I fell over Alan Watts and Leo. I can not describe how thankful I am for these two sources. Thank you, of all my heart. The words are pathetic to my authentic feeling of love and appreciation. Now, I did live about 6-7 months in pure bliss. "Realising" I am infinite and can`t die. Which funny enough makes so god damn sense, it´s amazing. Some months ago I contemplated on "What is meaning?" for 9 days, 45 minutes each session, and got results. But only a vast intellectual understanding. The feeling of it came one month ago. Now, whatever I want to do I can feel the meaninglessness of it and I give up. Even before I start. I can feel the meaninglessness in objects, thoughts, actually also in family and friends. In life. Whatever meaning there is I have to consciously create it, out of nothing. I am now in a state of smoking weed, playing computer, and not doing anything to get anywhere. Just little me, isolated in my apartement, looking out of the window in awe of it all, but can`t find any meaning. It is a full on helplessness state. And a week ago I honestly felt the bottom of it. I was starved, high as fuck, in my goodie chair and staring at the wall. "This is it". "The bottom". The knowledge of thoughts and ego told me in this moment, that whatever i was saying it was bullshit, but the feeling was very real. I also know "if I am observing it, by definition it is not me", so I also can see that my feelings are also a false "bip" on the radar. But I believe that the subtleness of my mind led me to listen to it anyway. And solidify the thoughts and feelings as "cause and effect", to increase the illusion of time. I have been throught the "Arising and passing away" 3 times before I even tried to meditate, only to discover the feelings of sensations arising moment to moment in Vipassana 1 hour over one month. This became clear, that I am made up of flickers. Which again is content, so this rests kindly back there. Why? Why am I even asking this. I am here cause I asked for it. Whatever happens to me, whatever situation that unfolds, I know it´s due to my subconscious mind, and it wants this. Same with you. I know that I am the creater of my life, and whatever comes it comes. Cause consciousness. It is the most beautiful intersubjective unity, like cells i a vain or networks of streams to combine the similarity to a vain, to create continuity out of singular instant thoughts (I have had the experience of "seing" my thoughts "in my mind" at a distance from me, and it was like a machine gun spitting out singular pictures from what looked like a solid black rock, to create a movie, which blew my mind). How am I to project meaning, if the fundemental projecting is by definition meaninglessness? By fundementally sink into the fact that things just last for an instant, it is not me and I will never ever get satisfied; tells me that whatever is going on I am literally full of shit. Whatever I say or do, I am full of it. How can I create meaning, when there is no fundemental meaning in the first place? Everything is just quiet. And yet everything happens. Where do I go if I already have arrived? This is a post only to be read and answered if you are in the same boat, have experienced it already and came through or if you can identify subjectively with the ongoing "mitote". How do I get on the wave, if the wave is not there. How do i calm the pond from ripples, if there is no pond. How do I clear the sky, when there is fundamentally no sky. If you don`t answer, this will be looked upon positively. Best regards, Christer <3

I have been using Cycloastragenol. It is not a nootropic, but it does have nootropic effects, atleast in my experience. Leo mentions a slowing, or “brain fog” that is likely age related. I take an anti-aging supplement called Cycloastragenol. A bit of science background…Telomeres are strands at the ends of our chromosomes that shorten with each cell division. The telomeres don’t code for anything and are solely protective of useful DNA. Once the telomeres get too short, the cells will (hopefully) stop dividing – if it does not, it can start losing useful DNA with each division, which can cause mutations (e.g. cancer). If the cell does stop dividing as it should, this is called senescence. A senescent cell has limited capacity to repair tissue since it can't divide and make more cells, so as more and more of our cells become senescent, general functionality declines. According to the telomere theory of aging, shortening telomeres are responsibility for much or all of the aging process in humans, and re-lengthening short telomeres would, in theory, slow or even reverse aging. Note, it is not proven that telomere shortening is the primary cause of aging in humans – currently it is only one among several theories. Cycloastragenol is a naturally-occurring molecule found in the Chinese plant, Astragalus. It has been shown to stimulate telomerase activity in humans (and mice), which is the enzyme that lengthens telomeres. Now that the background is out of the way, how do you take cycloastragenol, and what does it do for you? I have been taking 10mg cycloastragenol capsules daily for 2 years, and I have experienced nootropic effects that increase mental alertness and capacity for complex thought – this has been useful for me since my work can be cognitively demanding. These effects are probably more of a return to optimal mental function rather than hyper-functionality that Leo describes for some of the supplements in his video. The effects are significant, but too mild to be compared to any stimulant or psychedelic in any way. Cycloastragenol is intended as an anti-aging drug, not specifically a nootropic. I have experienced other effects as well, including decreased tiredness during the day and higher metabolism. Other users report better quality of sleep, faster growth of hair and fingernails, and quicker recovery from physical exertion and illness. I have not experienced any side effects. These pills are not addictive, and I am not aware of any tolerance that the body will build up over time. The effects have been persistent (e.g. there’s no peak and decline after you take it), which is to be expected of a treatment that repairs the body – the effects last beyond the half-life of the drug in the bloodstream. However, the onset was slow. I took this drug for about two weeks before noticing any effects, and I can stop taking it for around 1-2 weeks before I will notice its absence. I do not take any other supplements. Cycloastragenol is available in a form called TA-65 from TA Sciences. These are 8mg cycloastragenol capsules and are fairly expensive, around $6-$7 per pill. There are also generic brands that are more affordable. I take a generic version, which is around $1-$2 per pill for 10mg pills. You can also purchase 5mg and 25mg pills, but I have not tried any dose other than 10mg/day, so I can’t predict how these would work for you. These cheaper pills are from likely Chinese companies, but many manufacture the product in the U.S. Such products include Nature’s Bliss Cycloastragenol, Counter Aging Wise, and Crackaging Cycloastragenol, and all of these can be purchased through Amazon. Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional nor am I involved in or make money from the sale of any of the products I discussed here.

There comes a point where the self must surrender and give up control. The self doesn’t decide what’s behind the door. It could be absolute bliss or absolute terror. The absolute doesn’t “care” if “you” experience happiness or pain- the absolute is *both* happiness and pain.

Divine. Must Listen !!! Rough translation (Sanskrit to English). Ekam EvA dviteeyam (There is one without two (brahman)). EkO devaH sarva bhUtAntarAtma (One consciousness in all the hearts ) . EkA bAshA bhUtakAruNya rUpa (One shining as form of divine mercy). Ekam lakshyam sAmarasyam samEsham (One aim, to achieve equality among all). Ekam sarvam chittamAnanda pUrnam (One as ALL and as complete and eternal bliss).

Hey fellow actualizers, I would like to share with you my story with 5-MeO-DMT. I made a post previously talking about my experience with low dosages. In this post, I will describe the full encounter. Getting the substance I got this substance semi-legally about a month ago. I got it from a legal research chemical distributor. They will sell it to you provided you don't have the intention of using it on yourself or others. DMT is a scheduled 3 substance in Canada, which is not that high priority (Cannabis was scheduled 2 up until recently). Also, 5-MeO is not very known from the DMT family. RoA I've experimented with both snorting and plugging. Initially, I started with snorting, but I discovered that it wasn't the most effective for me. I didn't like the burning in my nose, I was losing substance, my nose became very dry, and I would have some dry blood in my nose afterward. Plugging, on the other hand, was very clean. The substance dissolves in water and you are able to absorb it much easier and faster with rectal administration. It is my opinion that plugging is the way to go (provided you get a small syringe ). Small Dose I've already made a lengthy post about my experiences on a small dose. To summarize it, at first, I felt a slight discomfort with tension in my head, small buzz, a little bit of shivering and nausea. These were minuscule and not very noticeable. Afterward came a very deep meditative state. This was meditation and contemplation on steroids. As if I took my most contemplative moments and multiplied them by 1000. My mind was firing with cognitive activity all over. Thoughts were cycling. Not just thoughts but more like "Aha" moments, like understanding after understanding and so on. Insights were everywhere and all sensation became very potent. I've experienced moments of deep love and connection, omnipresence, insights about awareness and the present moment. After those peeks I came to a state of bliss and peacefulness. Overall it was great, the experiences went by after about 30 min I was back to baseline. I was still present as my Ego throughout the experiences. Insight: Experience is the key. There is a whole world out there far beyond what mind can image and what we can put into words. Thinking/Language/Communication is also a type of experience, but only one out of an infinite sea of experiences and perceptions - don't give it too much weight. Medium Dose This trip was very very very different - 540 degrees different. I still can't fathom how you can get such a different experience from the same substance. This time it was very physical and can be summarized as hell, torture and slow death. All those discomforts that normally come up before the peak. Well, they got amplified to an unbearable degree. I felt an extreme amount of body discomfort. I wanted to escape to run away, to surrender. It wasn't a pain in a sense of somebody is cutting you with a knife. It wasn't fear either, as you can imagine standing on the edge of a building. It was this nasty nasty feeling of internal discomfort. Like when you're super anxious about something. Maybe loosely like when you wear an uncomfortable t-shirt, or its too hot, or something bothers and you want to jump out of your skin. You feel frustrated/angry/anxious at the same moment. It was a type of Ego-discomfort taken to the extreme of what's possible. I felt nauseous and wanted to puke very badly. My body was shaking like crazy. Not shaking from cold, but shaking from like a wound in a stomach. I felt like dying, like I couldn't take it anymore. I was trying to surrender to it, but I couldn't. I was trying to meta surrender - surrender to the fact that I couldn't surrender, but that didn't work either. I was fucked. Honestly, if you think you're a tough guy? I dare you to go through this. Some of the thoughts going through my head: "Why would you do this to yourself?" "Did I just overdosed and killed myself?" "I want this to pass!" "It's just a feeling, its just a feeling" That was pretty much the whole experience. It lasted for about 30 min but man, it felt like an eternity! I was still present as my Ego throughout the experience though. Insight: This is what dying is like. Ego is everything about you. It's a very physical thing! emotions and thoughts are interlinked. Subconscious thoughts give rise to emotions which give rise to surface thoughts and provoke actions. I heard before that Ego is just a thought, but dammit it goes so deep. It controls everything about our body. It is our whole existence. It is very subtle until your survival is threatened. I have huge respect for people who took 5-MeO-DMT Heavy Dose Preface Well needless to say that my previous trip freaked the shit out of me. I knew I came close, but not close enough to fall into the abyss. So I was musting up the courage. I knew that to go all the way I needed to die. My mind was coming up with excuses of not doing it. Suddenly things I was forcing myself to do became not so difficult just to avoid this experience (nice try mind). From the previous trip, I knew that dying feels very real at that moment. There is no difference between that and "actual" death. It's funny but to actually make passing over easier, I wrote a final letter/suicide note to my loved ones. I typed it up, printed it and left it on my desk before the trip. This might sound too extreme, and I didn't think I was actually going to die. I thought I will come out of it, and the whole thing will look silly. But then again, at the back of my mind, I thought that you never know. Plus I would want somebody to leave me a comforting letter before they go. I got ready, did an hour of meditation, which put me in a very relaxing state. Experience This substance keeps surprising me. It was very unexpected. I can't put it into words. It's just too much. The transition from regular consciousness was super clean. When the discomfort started to show up. I just laid on the bed, closed my eye and it passed away (or my sense of self passed away). I think the preparation and my state of surrender really helped. Either way, what happened cannot be even close to thoughts or words. It was deeper than time, space, ideas or my own self. I was the raw reality itself, it was impossible. It was there, but nobody was looking at it. Perceptions were there but nobody was there to perceive it. It's a f*cking paradox. You would think perceptions need a perceiver. My body was extremely loose. It collapsed and I was far far far gone. The body was doing things by itself. I didn't even know if I was breathing. Some sensations were there, but it was sort of neutral. I can't even say neutral because that's putting it inside criteria. Really language is incapable of describing this. Words are kind of like post signs to experience. But it wasn't even an experience, because there was nobody to experience it. It was incredible. But even to say that is giving it a judgment. It wasn't good or bad. It transcended all limits and criteria because there was nobody there to give any human judgment. Kind of like Earth was prior to humans. My body could die or live it didn't matter. It was waaaaaayyy beyond my existence. The mind would occasionally talk, but it appeared sort of in the background like an echo. All It could say was - thing, no thing. It went on like this "existence, no existence" "love, no love" "life, no life" "enlightenment, no enlightenment" and so on about everything. There was no difference between anything. I was not present as my Ego throughout the experiences. I lied on my bed for 2 hours after this experience in a state of no-self. I could say that it was bliss. But even that is not true, because bliss implies an opposite to be true as a reference. There was no reference in this experience. Then there was a feeling in my belly. I could label it as me getting hungry, but there was no reason to act on it. No reason to act on anything for that matter. Eventually, the intensity was slowly coming down and I convinced myself to get up. Insight: What I was describing is only what the mind can come up with. What actually happened transcended all of that. What happened is what is left when everything goes out the window. Every identification crumbled. There is only this something - It is nothing, everything, energy, dark matter, empty space, Tao, awareness, God, aliens, simulation whatever you say about it. It is so much bigger than you, you are not even on its radar. There is no free will, nor somebody to not have free will. As an Ego, I am a puppet empty inside. When I die ... I will go back to the source.

For helping people on here without being spiritually enlightened. Without having dissolved my ego, and to have embodied the light that I am. Undeniably these past few months have been strongly calling me to God, and tonight I meet that call with wide open arms. I have always been honest on here, sharing my understanding and personal experiences, even if they were limited. I have wanted only the best for people, only to realize I have to surrender who i think I am to live that purpose to its full potential. So it’s not that I will no longer teach, or push away any experience externally. I will embrace it all, by simply surrendering to my Heart, because that is where the energy of Divine Love is most concentrated, and therefore easiest to dissolve into in theory. Thank you for listening to what I had to say, and teaching me to not be afraid of who I am, and to have courage. To spread my wings and be free. I will not let fear keep me in my mind, where throughout my life I always did what other people wanted so I could be accepted, and feel even a little bit of love. But for the last few years I had received no love, there was a big hole where my heart was meant to be. School exacerbated this sadness, and added a dash of stress which lead me over the edge to find some way to feel Love and get out of my monkey mind, that used fear to motivate everything I did. And now I am here telling you all that I have caught a glimmer of this inner experience of love I was always trying to find, I have tasted it in meditation upon my Heart; and I say simply that I will no longer put a mental barrier, or a person, or a situation, or partner between me and God. As best that I can I choose love. I don’t know what actions it will inspire externally which is what scares me the most, but how else can I become one with God, but to surrender my ego entirely, which is what used to make the decisions. All fears too, big or small, I must ultimately let go of if I want nothing to make me feel seperate from the universe. And with this understanding, the only option for me at least is surrendering to Love, regardless of my fears or what my mind tells me. I really am dedicated, I am not the type of person who says something and dosen’t do it, this is real for me. This surrender is not light hearted, it’s the the result of years of practice, and it’s the final step to liberation that I hope for as many people as possible to cross. I am an empowered creative being of light. And I am here to serve the will of God, by surrendering to that light within the center of who I am and who you are as well. It sounds like a sacrifice, but in my limited time in the breathe in deep meditation, I can tell you that it feels bliss, a bliss so strong that it brings up all your fears to be healed, until all there is is this river of love that flows from your heart, and through your eyes without a single rock to change the water from its natural still, and creative (free-flowing) state. And even when you see your fears for what they are, even when you feel discomfort in your emotions from this, can I still stay centered in who I am? No matter what, can I always stay centered in who I am? Its a gentle shift from head to heart. It’s the Truth I choose to embody, because I’m ready to let go of all attachments, to not suffer, and be who I was always meant to become. Thank you for reading! *High Five* Have a good day.

fasting, fasting, fasting. Fast from life, from food, from society, from media, from people. Eventually there will be pure calmness, pure bliss, pure awareness where you "see" what truly is and the old patterns are eventually replaced with the new. Once you are hit with Truth, there is no otherwise. Absolute surrender, you find all by losing and letting go of all.