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here it is in me again. I saw my ex walking in front of me, holding hands with his new girlfriend(?) a wave hit me, cold like a winter day. there was that loneliness again. I am not in love with him. I think I never was. not romantically. I didn't feel anything when he told me that he had cheated on me. I didn't care. but that was just sexually. pure physical. now I saw him in close embrace with another girl. that did some things in me. it was nothing about him, I realized that. it was more like: maybe he found happiness. maybe he found his soulmate. maybe he is fulfilled now. and me? at the end of the day I am alone. nobody to share my life with. no one who holds me. I won't run away this time. no distraction, no games this time. I want to explore this feeling. what is it? loneliness: cold. empty. crushing. dull. like something is missing in me. there is an infinite hole in me, it keeps opening and sucking me in. on the other hand. I want to be alone. I don't think I'd want a relationship. I would just like someone to hold me from time to time. someone to talk, to share moments with. to share my happiness and my deepest emotions and thoughts with. intimacy = in-to-me-see why do people leave me? I know it's my biggest fear: that there is something wrong with me. I don't fit in. I'll never find anyone to be with. I'm just too fucked up and weird. sometimes I feel like an alien. disconnected from people.

Hi guys, Not sure if you'll understand what i'm going to explain here, but here goes nothing. On every psychedelic trip i see crazy symbols (in rainbow colours) since the opening of my third eye. It reminds me a lot of what that pineal gland artist was trying to illustrate. These symbols become sometimes transparent and fill the complete space i'm in. When focusing enough on those symbols and finding a right momentum, I every time reach a certain state. It feels as jumping certain dimensions. How do i act? The crazy deep voice as shown my Martin Ball? That crazy shit yeah. Sometimes speaking in some kind of alien clicking tongue, strange symmetric movements, strange tongue movements and an absurd sexual energy. Like fucking absurd. I feel part of an infinite penis+vagina (meaning that i obviously feal a feminine and masculine energy coinciding). What is this shit guys? Always those damn symbols and that jump or something? Any resembling experiences? Peace

My Experience with Kambô, the Amazonian Frog Poison [Traumatic] Hello, all! Even though I have been going pretty well on the personal development journey, I still stumble upon hurdles that I could have easily avoided. This last Saturday -- 11-6-2017 -- I decided to try out a poison from a Toad called: "Kambô." It seems as though it has become quite popular in the Bay Area. Here in Brazil it is technically prohibited, but it is very easy to find a place that does this job. If you want to read more about the general effects and benefits, you can search them online. The main principle is that this poison enters your your body, and your immune system has to work to reestablish homeostasis. Result? Boost your immune system by brute force, similarly to taking cold showers. You force your system to strengthen. But never would I think that it would be so disastarous. Prior to applying it, I had drunk more than 3 liters of water (which is the top recommendtation for having a "quick" trip). The effects were supposed to be intense but quick, only 15 minutes. But it fucking lasted for 1 day, with 2 days of after-affects. It was hell. The feeling I got was similar to what my friend was telling me about Ibugaina. Low pressure, severe fever, hypothermia, death-like feeling, and delirium. At some point, I felt as if that was a 5-MeO-DMT trip because I can't imagine anything more terryfying than that. I felt like I was going utterly mad. Lobotomy or something like that. And the worst part was that the so-called Shaman wouldn't shut up telling me that I was filled with "entities." He totally overdosed me. And the biggest problem is that, even though I was sick out of my mind, he reapplied the goddamn Kambô, saying, "I am doing this because I like you." Seriously?????? And then when that happen it was complete hell once again. I was not aware that there have been deaths related to Kambo, so I didn't panic even though I took the biggest dump of my life. Seriously, it was scary. I felt like there was an alien in my belly. And it was moving. I think this is called the peristaltic movements. Crazy-ass shit. Another problem was while I was taking a shit, I also felt like vomiting. So it was a pretty messed up situation. And you know the worst part? The fucking "Shaman" was bitching because I was staying too much in the fucking toilet. For goodness sake's, I can't stop vomiting! But anyway... I have to admit that I am feeling very sane and healthy right now. But the experience was completely traumatic and never will I repeat it. The usual dosage are 5 points. The guy gave me 7. And I am extrasensitive for everything (including yopo. I hate that shit.). In a way, this experience was good to remove my existential fear of dying. I kinda went through the process, so I feel prepared to try 5-MeO out. It can't be worse than Kambo. Technically, Kambo is not a psychedelic. But dude... it cleans the shit out of you. You feel so fragile. It is as if you got totally detoxed. Feels weird. I kinda feel sick... But very healthy in a way. Kambo is known for treating depression, cancer, addiction-recovery, panema ("bad spirits"), aids, etc. It was way more intense that I could ever imagine. Leo always warns us about these powerful substances. "You'll get your ass kicked." I wish I had heard him. START SMALL!!! But if I could sum up the whole experience would be Malaise. I hadn't felt sick like that ever since I was a child. You remember when you had the horrible fever? Well, I do. Meet this guy: This little guy will make you go down.

@Serotoninluv Yeah I've experienced both and can say they're nearly opposites. People and places feel extremely alien and unfamiliar when DP, whereas they feel a part of you with enlightenment. @Coraline Sounds to me like if you were to develop the disorder you probably would have by now, but still be careful. Educate yourself, Harris Harrington has a good YouTube channel that explain some of the childhood issues that can lead to dissociative problems.

Since my early teens I had this strong urge to be lonely. I always felt extremely comfortable and free when being alone. Around people I get tired in a matter of seconds. While this may be good for Enlightenment work it badly affects every social aspect of my life. I lost many friends because of that, I could not succeed in extroverted careers, was doing bad in group studies... I just can't bound with people anymore... In order to survive this materialistic, social world I invented many masks - I carry them everyday in such an extent that I am alien to myself. I almost forgot my true face... It feels like nobody understands me. If I show my true face and interests to other people just struggle to understand me. Most people feel that I am too mysterious and hard to communicate. Is there a way out for such a strong desire of loneliness? It is so hard to survive in this extroverted world like this.

Last Friday I was hanging out with some of my friends and we were talking about the wildfire that's been going on for the last couple of weeks. So they brought up this topic that there were a few people who believed that the government was setting up cameras and monitoring devices while their homes were being evacuated, and they ended up getting killed because they didn't get out in time. I thought it was a stupid idea because how can anyone believe that the wildfires were fake? Well, anyways there were people who did believe that, and it was just mind-baffling to hear such stories because there are tons more conspiracy theories out there that people actually believe. There were people who believed that our government was run by shape-shifting alien reptiles, and there are also people who believed that 2012 was the end of the world, and they still insists on the idea that the world really did end in 2012 and we're living in a so-called "new world". I've been thinking about this for such a long time now and I still couldn't come up with a conclusive reason why this is the case. I don't know if it makes any sense, but here's my hypothesis: First, the beauty of conspiracy theories is that it requires no evidence or critical thinking, therefore, it only appeals to people without the ability to seriously question things for themselves. When you look at the population in general, there really is this wide spectrum of people, and those without any critical thinking skills definitely have their own spot on the spectrum, maybe on the lowest 5% region (or however much it is in reality, it's just a rough estimate), and it's definitely possible for them to believe in those crazy things. It's hard work trying to figure out something for yourself, it takes research even for the "smart" people. So the easiest thing to do is, of course, believe what they're told without putting any independent thinking into it. Sorry for the long post, but here's my guess. I'm much more likely to be wrong though, so feel free to correct me.

Ye but imagine the epic alien bod u will have with all that energy... Perhaps you will have 2 hearts and wings. Epic! But everyone else around will also be just as epic and u won't even notice how cool it is ?

this right here, I feel you. I feel isolated. most of the time I enjoy being alone, I love time to myself, so I can meditate, do yoga, work on the Truth. but sometimes it just hits me like a tsunami. I feel like the most lonely person in the world. like an alien. and then this strong urge to connect with someone on a deeper level, not even sexually. more like talking, sharing each other's deepest thoughts, holding each other and cuddling. where does this come from? is it all lack of self-worth and self-love?

@Brimstone Thanks. After about 25 years of personal development, I’ve recently had some glimpses into. . . I don’t know what to call it. . . Yet listening to Leo, Rupert Spira and Ananta Kranti speak of nonduality, I’m like “yea, ir’s kinda like that.” That kind of talk used to drive me crazy. I’d think “Just explain it in plain English!”. Now, relating to people feels odd. There’s like a familiar dual perspective with language. Then, this nondual whatever. So many things seem important and meaningful from my dual perspective, yet there is a singularity from nondual perspective. It’s almost like flipping between two different languages. Or, English and some alien sixth sense of just being like everything else, without thought or talk. It feels awkward at times.

@Visionary I don't know but the information is there for sure. It's hard to find it though and collect and reassemble the missing puzzle pieces. This is not a topic to skim over superficialy, this is extremely deep, so determination and a lot of information to process is a must. http://in5d.com/the-14-tablets-of-enki-the-anunnaki/ https://ancientexplorers.com/blogs/news/sumerian-texts-do-these-tablets-reveal-secrets-about-alien-life http://www.ancient-origins.net/human-origins-folklore/origins-human-beings-according-ancient-sumerian-texts-0065 Found the some info mentioned by RA on YouTube.

It's not a bad terminology to describe the group and it's purpose. The underlying belief that we're entering some kind of 'new age' where all of our intellectual underpinnings are just shams and conspiracies. Personally I don't resonate with the new age movement. They've hit on some truths, but only through luck. It's not hard when you don't examine any idea critically. At the same time, they throw away any knowledge or wisdom that is considered conventional simply because it's... well... conventional. Conventional wisdom is boring, and the new age movement is fixated on exciting theories revolving around aliens, egyptians, solar flares, quantum entanglement, etc. The egyptians built the pyramids through their own ingenuity and we have tons of documented evidence? Boring! They must have used ancient magic and alien technologies, man couldn't possibly have figured it out themselves! So they've really thrown the baby out with the bathwater. They do a great service by questioning conventional wisdom, but if you're going to do that you also need to think critically about 'new age' theories and this is where they fall short of hitting the mark.

This picture would look super interesting from an alien's perspective after seeing tons of planets just bare, then this! We're so used to it but if we didn't know what humans or Earth were, wow!

What I learnt from The Joe Rogan experience 725 and 872 never exclude the possibility that off field people can investigate a topic with much fresher eyes than those who earned their diplomas on it and have already spent years of thinking by using certain information as fact We might miss the elephant in the room because the elephant is the room. Sometimes the evidence for something is so big that it can´t be seen but from a birds eye view. Always consider peoples interests and egos when evaluating their data. people who dedicate their life passionately, patiently and open minded to investigation are more likely to discover something ground breaking keep up with a theory, even if it gets rejected by the mainstream scientists until you have gathered overwhelming facts from a variety of sources if a widely accepted theory gets questioned then the proposer of a new theory will very likely be ignored and/or be labelled with some title that will leave him/her stigmatized us untrustworthy (therefore always give information from field outcasts a chance) only because a theory contains an element/event that reminds of/would support some other theory/myth that is associated with lies and dogma, that does not mean the element/event did not take place/is not possible or true myths can contain information of real historical events embedded in a made up story with anthropomorphic characters of various interests and intentions standing in for forces and phenomena that are easier to remember and understand that way highly symbolic art can give hints about historical values and events oh and... Even if such an exciting idea as pre astronautism occurs we should not close our eyes in front of some rather simple answer like part of humanity having developed more into the technological direction than another long before we did. This behaves like religion or the elephants on the turtle... Even though aliens are nice elephants and turtles... It´s all us once again (but since I can never be sure and I will leave room for more possible alien or not mind blows in the future). ... Looks like the attachment that people have with their work or at least the hours spent learning and repeating and teaching and shaping, possibly draining pride from knowing, theories that they have accepted as facts makes their egos unlikely to throw away their fixed historical world view (you don´t say Anna...). The interesting part is that this identification is (for now) so deep in most, if not all of the mainstream scientists that we might have to wait until that entire generation dies off until the new evidence and theory starts getting evaluated and taken seriously. The quantity of people who are ignorant, purposefully or not, to this really compelling amount of data about something as basal and big as a topic like the origins of human civilisation and possible future gives me a reminder of the dark ages of humanity I live in. If we don´t know the truth about something of this size then what other answers have we overseen and how long will it take until there is a global acceptance towards them? ... If learning equals behaviour change then knowing about the flood which the melted ice and rainfall caused, which again the comet caused, does not just mean that I have to start thinking and talking about history taking this into account but actually try to do something about the meteorites/comets that might repeat this whole disaster in the future. I am obviously not interested in the construction of weapons to fight each other but if we need some armour to defend life on earth itself I think I´m in the boat... Or at least raising consciousness about this.

1. Is your experience of mind becoming more alone? Even when you are *cough* "with people"? I feel like I am all that exists. 2. Is your subjective intake of reality natural? Are you letting this moment speak for itself? Totally neutral, unless stressed into a less-conscious response. 3. Have you started to relate to people you knew differently? Yes. I’m more compassionate and less egotistical. 4. Have you stopped chasing actualized.org and Leo Gura for the "grand prize of the self-actualized, purposeful life"? Yes. The best thing I can do for myself is to let go. I do pretty good even without the false sense of control. 5. Are you feeling more alien to conventional society, how it works , and seen as a disease to the one who seeks to abide in truth? Not really, because that’s all conceptual. The only thing that exists is the moment. But yeah, you gotta watch your intake portals. Garbage in, garbage out. 6. Have you reached the point where " information put in spotlights " ---- (I refer to) books, movies , the news , teachings of spiritual leaders, pop culture and most importantly actualized.org.... are given the skeptical lens ... as that which has yet to stand the testing with (your) subjective experience of this moment ? I don’t need any more teachings. The only teaching is to stop trying to control. You do need to review materials daily to keep you keen on noticing the tricks of the mind though, so you do need theory work and review in enlightenment practice. The mind will fog up your clear lenses, so you gotta wipe the mist off everyday. You don't just become permanently enlightened. The mind is always there trying to interfere. This is why constant mindfulness is so important in enlightenment practice. 7. Has your heart started to burn with the desire of rising beyond the baseline human condition ... aka your reality of now ? Have you started to actively test the theory you study with direct experience aka NOW ? I am totally content in the moment. 8. Have your actions been purified with the fire of awareness such that if you set out to do something ...that it is YOU...wholeheartedly who is doing it ..... not some conceptual, emotional, physical product of your society that's been told to follow an authority ? Yes. I am letting go of control and seeing through the tricks of the mind. The most important teaching of enlightenment is that self-control is an illusion. You do have a certain indirect self-control through mindfulness and Awareness. The higher your Awareness, the better the dream gets for you. But never think you are part of the dream. You are Awareness of the dream. And Awareness alone is curative. Relevant video to watch:

1. Is your experience of mind becoming more alone ? Even when you are *cough* "with people" ? 2. Is your subjective intake of reality natural ? Are you letting this moment speak for itself ? 3. Have you started to relate to people you knew differently ? 4. Have you stopped chasing actualized.org and Leo Gura for the "grand prize of the self-actualized,purposeful life" ? 5. Are you feeling more alien to conventional society, how it works , and seen as a disease to the one who seeks to abide in truth ? 6. Have you reached the point where " information put in spotlights " ---- (I refer to) books, movies , the news , teachings of spiritual leaders,pop culture and most importantly actualized.org.... are given the skeptical lens ... as that which has yet to stand the testing with (your) subjective experience of this moment ? 7. Has your heart started to burn with the desire of rising beyond the baseline human condition ... aka your reality of now ? Have you started to actively test the theory you study with direct experience aka NOW ? 8. Have your actions been purified with the fire of awareness such that if you set out to do something ...that it is YOU...wholeheartedly who is doing it ..... not some conceptual,emotional, physical product of your society that's been told to follow an authority ? Note :- I myself am not immune to the traps of the conditioned human living. These are questions which I find instill consciousness in me.

I agree. @DawnOfReality Values and beliefs can get entangled. Use mindful observation and allow yourself some time. I wrote down my list of values several months ago and, after having enlightenment experiences, it looks like something a small alien child wrote. I don't care about it at all. (Haven't done the LP course, so if he is offering a process that alleviates that problem, my apologies.)

God to me is not a person sitting in the cloud. God is everything, we are his organs and part of him as much as he is us. Most religious books have a good attempt at trying to explain what God could be, in the end these books are there to make us live in more harmony, peace and "make us feel that someone is watching". By rejecting or not believing in stories written (by and) in the language of men that there is someone watching over us all we are not completely lost, because together we derive meaning and a better world. God to me is love, for creation is the act of keeping something alive and in the end love is our ultimate goal and what makes us human stick together. It is love that makes us wander through maya and samsara, with a smile even though the world sometimes feel like an alien or wicked place. God is the now, he is present always everywhere and on your screen right now. God doesn't have any identity but manifests as all at once. I believe that becoming enlightened or finding peace within, reflects some devine qualities that are even seen without any intellectual reasoning. To become enlightened is to find peace, to be in love with the now and to radiate this in the fullest potential because no man can let this appearance slip from his sight. Love, peace, feelings, contentment for anything that arise.

@Ilya It's not easy. Also, every time I think I've arrived I realize that I am just at the beginning of this. I see now that this is a process that has to unfold or unravel -- pick your metaphor. I also see now that conditioning has basically fed the Ego into thinking of me as a self. I've always had a sense that there was something odd about me, and now I realize that in the back of my mind I always felt the nonduality tugging at me in subtle ways -- like in my 20's. Now I see why that was. We have convinced ourselves that we are selves! But it's all just beliefs overlaid on top of perception basically. I think you have to trip hard to really become aware of this fully. Be careful with psychedelics though folks. I don't think I would have ever gotten to this place had I not had that massive trip. The same Being I was there is the same Being I am here. And all I can do is be! What control is there to be had? I'm like watching myself do myself now. Now I see why this has to be done in steps. It would be too painful to go through Enlightenment all at once. Ya ever see the movie Alien? It feels like that. But I had a similar feeling back in March when I had my first big shift in the Ego unsettling process. It actually felt worse then. This one is more like a calm despair. That one was more like grieving a death. I just feel generally bad, not cheerful at all. But not depressed either. Just kinda moderately sick in some way. I think it's the loss of the illusion of control that is really hard to accept. And it's just weird to realize that what I thought was reality is basically just a movie -- just like when I had my trip. Same deal. I don't want anybody to hurt themselves with psychedelics, so be careful. But I have to say that that caused a big shift for me. You gotta really understand what Being is. Once you get that, that's when things start to happen fast. Once you see an error, you can't overlook it. Denial only works if an error is not fully seen or comprehended.

I don't understand your quibbling with my word-choice. It's a distinction without a difference to me. If you had two good legs, would you believe that shooting one of them off would help you walk better? This is what we do with morality. It's the Egoic Illusion trying to judge and control Nature. And it's a big cause of suffering. The Ego uses polarities like moral good and bad to give the illusion of control and the illusion of existence. Being just is. Imagine two alien (as in non-human) video-game characters that were programmed with a completely arbitrary sense of right and wrong. How would you regard that code of morality? Would you see it as applicable to your life in anyway? What if you experienced some trauma that caused you to start judging yourself based on that video-game moral code one day, and all your actions caused you to feel like a total piece of shit. Wouldn't that be unfortunate? Right and wrong does the same thing to us. The Ego doesn't exist -- but all those emotions are registered by Being. So, morality, right and wrong, and good and bad, are just Ego-Smog; and they kick up a lot of neurotic, often painful feelings -- aka suffering. Video on point to watch:

I've always considered myself a "seeker". I have read many self-help books, participated in lots of "spiritual" retreats, meditation groups etc. I've had countless conversations/debates on politics/philosophy/religion/science. I'm a professor and I'm "safe" in my head. I've had ups and downs, yet never have I felt like I was mentally unstable or insane. Until now. I'm wondering if some people might have had similar experiences here and how to cope with it. A year ago, I started using psychedelics in "my search". I've gone to the ego-death zone several times - each time there was anxiety/fear about letting go and surrendering. Last June in Peru, I did my first and only Ayahuasca retreat. The second ceremony had terrifying moments as my ego struggled to maintain control and steer the experience. My ego realized it would lose and it couldn't stop the experience. I almost went into a full-on panic. Time had no meaning and I thought it would be like this forever. There were also moments where the ego seemed absent. There were lessons about fear and insecurity. Other-wordly visions. The music was angelic. At times, my "self" seemed to float through and there was anxiety again. There were times I did not know what was real and I didn't know if I had gone insane and if I would ever return. There was a recurring thought like: "It's OK, in four hours the Aya will wear off and I'll be back and things will be normal again". It's like "I" was trying to run out the clock . Overall, there were some beautiful moments and lessons, yet I was really shaken up. I thought I could never do that again and I only drank a half cup of Aya at the 3rd and final ceremony. I have not used psychedelics in high doses since. Most of my trips have been light/moderate. There is awe, fascination and curiosity. The high dose trips have had anxiety regarding not being able to tell what is real, that I could lose control or if I had gone insane. I've always been able to talk myself down with "this isn't real, in a few hours everything will be back to normal". A month ago, I was watching Sam Harris videos on how Free-Will is an illusion. There was a moment outside my intellect where I "got it". My ego, my "self", doesn't have control *even when I'm normal and sober*. Something else does. I'm stone sober and the anxiety comes. I'm not in control and I don't know what will happen. I can't make this stop. It felt like the terror of the Aya ceremony. I didn't know what was real and if I had gone insane. Yet unlike the Aya ceremony, it will NEVER stop. There is no "return to normal". I will never be in control. There was actually the thought of "You could stop it by killing yourself". I don't know if that referred to killing the ego or my body. Yet, I felt insane and mentally unstable. Then, I got online and starting discussing free-will. I got back into my head to conceptualize. People told me things like "nothing has changed, you've lived your whole life this way fine". I started feeling better. A couple days ago, I watched Leo's video on Free-will. I liked the part about how life flows better when one recognizes free-will is an illusion. I thought "hey, this is actually a positive". Today my "I am the observer" concept crumbled. For 25 years, this has been a secure concept for me. I was unable to create a new concept and realized there was some type of reality I couldn't describe with words. I realized there is something about awareness, observation and reality in my immediate environment that I don't understand and can't understand. I leave my office and a colleague walks by me in the hallway. What is he? Is he some machine? An alien? Part of me? Can he sense what's going on inside of me? If it really is true that my concepts are not "the truth" he could be anything and anything could happen. I feel anxiety as I don't seem to have my normal framework of reality and control. I try to act "normal" and go to the bathroom for 5minutes to collect myself. Then, I thought it may help to write about it on this forum. I'm feeling more settled down as things are starting to feel "back to normal" again. Yet, I have a foreboding sense - since I know there is "not normal" out there. These are the only two sober panic/anxiety attacks I have had in my life. Both came on non-intellectual realizations that my "self" is an illusion and not in control. For 25 years, self-improvement and actualization has been fun and games. Yet, recently this shits got real and I've had two moments in the last month where I felt insane and terrified - *sober*. Can new levels of consciousness seem like insanity? It has felt somewhat like a psychedelic trip. Part of me is like, "Go with the flow, Let go and surrender. No need to fear finding your true self and what is real". Another part of me is like "DUDE, this is your life we are talking about. You do not want to end up in an insane asylum. Stop this shit". . . I do want to find truth and continue, yet right now it feels intense and I just want to slip back into "normal" and rest for a bit.

Nah homie, it's genuinely not ego at all. I'm in an amazing mood and I'd love for magic alien crystals to be real. I'M READY TO BELIEVE. Please prove this shit so I can dedicate my whole life to gatherings jew jew rocks, woo woo crystals, and other interdimensional trinkets. My body is ready.

"How to divine your fuel" LMAO, it's looks like a parody, but it's not. There are legit ways of extending fuel efficiency, but based on my 30 seconds of looking at the video it's some kind of crystal magical alien technology? Let me guess, it hasn't been tested by an independent group of completely impartial researchers, right? Right. Ok, go home with this wacky cartoon shit, you're drunk.

I found some interesting stuff on Aliens a few days ago. I like how it's integrated with enlightenment so I thought I would share here. This is about a man that channels an alien named Bashar. http://www.spherebeingalliance.com/ This is information from Bashar, and alien that was channeled through a human being and this is the advice he gave on existence...enlightenment etc. It seems to resonate with what Leo is teaching here on actualized.org http://iasos.com/metaphys/bashar/ The basic Blueprint of the Structure of Existence The 5 Basic Laws of Creation These 5 Basic Laws are true Everywhere/Everywhen in the universe - including ALL dimensions. 1 You exist. (I AM) 2 Everything is Here/Now. 3 The All is one, and the One is all. 4 What you put out is what you get back. 5 The only constant in the universe is change - except for the first 4 postulates, which never change. 1 You exist. (I AM) If you exist now, your existence is eternal: You have always existed and you always will exist. You may change form, but you are existing always . So.....relax.....you'll be around forever. 2 Everything is Here/Now. Time and Space are illusions. (But your experiences within Time/Space are "real".) There is only Here/Now. 3 The All is one, and the One is all. Just as each tiny section of a hologram contains the information for the entire hologram, likewise we are all inter-connected. Everything is truly just one totally-interconnected "thing". 4 What you put out is what you get back. The "outside" is a reflection of the "inside". Physical reality is actually a mirror: Your physical reality is just a holographic reflection of what you most strongly believe to be true. And like a mirror, physical reality will not change unless you change first (change what you most strongly believe). 5 The only constant in the universe is change - except for the first 4 postulates, which never change. So.....might as well get used to eternally-changing Creation. Enjoy the ride! Surf the changes! The Meaning of Life, and The Purpose of Existence Existence is Eternal - without beginning. Therefore Existence existed BEFORE the concept of "purpose" or "meaning" came into being. Therefore, Existence does not need to have any particular "purpose" or "meaning" to justify its existence. It simply is. In other words, the Infinite Creator set it all up as a blank slate (tabula rasa), so that YOU can superimpose absolutely ANY "meaning" or "purpose" that you wish. So, to be technically accurate, the universe is "meaningless". But this is a good thing! It is truly a blessing! The Infinite Creator has given YOU free will, so that you can now use your free will, to superimpose absolutely ANY "meaning" of life, or "purpose" of existence that you wish! (Side Note: see Neutral Props)

@Azrael It sounds like you're still "going places", which is more content within awareness. To me there is a difference between visiting other realities vs penetrating the essence underlying all realities. The trouble with psychedelics is precisely that they can alter the content of awareness so much that one gets distracted by the alien-ness of the new content, missing the Absolute. Next time you trip, I suggest really setting the intention to ignore all the content changes, focusing exclusively on the raw nature of the Absolute. That's probably hard to do on mushrooms, because they tend to be twisted. Interesting trip though.

Guys, feel free to ask any questions. I thought of some: - Did you get enlightened? Definitely no. My monkey-mind got extremely crazy up to a point that I was literally risking my life. I got so in such with my solar plexus chakra (which is responsible for "will-power") that I simply I understood the power I have within me. (Which is absolutely infinite). Do you understand this? It's fucking infinite! Think of quantic physics. It is like a mirror, spreading infinitely outward and inward. We are part of this vortex. If having this insight means "getting" enlightened, so, yes I got. But only AFTER psychedelics. But really, don't take this enlightenment has some woo-woo concept. Enlightenment is the fundamental basis of Reality. What really helped cut through the ego was the down-right exposure. It was so freakin' intense, dude! I confronted my biggest fear EVER. You wouldn't believe if I told you. Anyway... I suppose I had a rude awakening experience. And this Alert state varies throughout the day. It is really cool. Sometimes I think I lost it, but then... BAM! Here it is again. - How did your family react? It was so fucking hard. I was acting like a 5-year-old. I was SUPER rebel. And I was very rude also. I live with my sister, grandma, and sister. Dude, meditation is a woo-woo thing in Brazil, and they even made fun of me. It was really hard to put up with other people during that time. Not just my family, but, really, almost everybody. I dived so deep internally and I got so acquainted with how the mind works that at some point all that big fucking structure COLLAPSED. Haha. It is a daily challenge to keep my individuality as a spiritual seeker and don't get lost in the concrete jungle, if you know what I mean. Hihi. - What tips do you have? Well, my meditation sessions were kinda sloppy. Hehe. But it kinda felt good to just sit there and do nothing. Just think, think, fantasize. And really engage in all that mental masturbation. But at some point I saw how I was becoming highly unpresent when I was doing meditation. I don't know, it was as if I couldn't relax, you know? Well, I was really having a DEEP spiritual purging. > Be aware of Spiritual Purging They're real. If you do the do-nothing, your mind will come up with all sorts of fantasies. It is really crazy how it is possible to actually let go of all control. And just let the mind think the most HORRIFIC things. This includes having sex with an alien, the taste of shit, and ways to kill yourself. I am being serious here. This is not funny. It can be terrifying, if you have a weak mind. So... > Strengthen your Mind You probably have a very sloppy mind. You are always in your comfort zone. Well, that's how the mind is designed. Haha, crazy, huh? We do not need our survival instincts on, so really 99% of your fears simply do not make any logical sense. It is absurd. Utter Absurd. That's what the mind is an Utter Absurd. Haha > Be more Playful Dude, you can get enlightened today, but really why do you look so hard? (I am telling this to myself). Even if I allegedly get this final A-ha, this total samadhi. So what? I will be dead very soon, and what I will take away from this life are moments of true sincerity and sharing. "Repeat after me: Life is a shit if you take it seriously. Fuck positivity. Fuck other people. Fuck society. Amem." Praise the Lord!!! Oh Hallelujah! Let's go Gospel! Hahahaha Cheers from São Paulo <o>