cle103

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  1. Thanks for the reply! I will research Louise Hay. I don‘t think it‘s a stroke since most of these things have been present for a long time or even birth.
  2. Hey guys, all of this could be coincidence, however I still wanted to share this and maybe someone knows what's up. Over the last months I've been noticing that I have some really strange imbalances between my right and left side of the body. Here are some examples: My left side is stronger than my right (I'm right handed). My left side is quite a bit more flexible (even though I also sleep on that side). Right now I have a minor cold and only my left side is congested (for real, I only blow my left nostril and have a headache on the left side of my head). In congruence with that: My left eye is constantly tearing up for no reason whatsoever (since I got the cold). I have two very distinct birthmarks on my left side. I also have a scar on my left hand that's there since birth. Again, all of this could be total coincidence. No, I didn't have an accident. However if someone of you know sth. about all of this, please share. I know it's important to balance out the body and I also know that left = thinking (in general) whereas right = emotion. And if this should have sth. to do with it, I'm an INTJ (Myers Briggs, however I have also worked quite alot on my emotions over the last year(s)). - Cheers
  3. Astrology seems fun... never gotten really into it. I'm a late Cancer (18th July). Anything you can tell me about that?
  4. Got it. If you chant "Om" at each chakra (up and down the spine) that would be KP3.
  5. @Leo Gura Do you do only Kriya Pranayama 3 or do you do 12 KP 1, 12 KP2, 12 KP3 as JC recommends?
  6. @Leo Gura Now you spoilered me Just kidding. Yes. That's the problem I guess. I had the conceptual understanding plus various mystical experiences but never a clear cut direct experience of Truth. @Nahm Team spider 🤟 @who chit Yes, exactly! That's what I tried for a full year. No effect at all. Now I just remain seated after I do my Kundalini meditation and self inquiry happens by itself. So much more productive.
  7. Hey guys, earlier this day I took one tab of AL-LAD (approx. 150 μg) and I thought I'd share my experience. I took it on an empty stomach after waking up. The onset was about 60 minutes. This was my 8th psychedelic experience (6x shrooms, 2x AL-LAD). The evening before I set the following intentions: Grow as a person and integrate past traumas. What is Truth? What should I eat (what is the proper diet for me) (yes, seriously). All of the above got addressed in the trip. So I'll go through them one by one. 1. Starting with the least important - What should I eat? I'll keep it short, bc. the other topics are more juicy: I never had struggles with my diet, however the last days my stomach was kinda upset. So I set the intention to investigate further. In short the answer was: Be more aware. Eat even less (not none) dairy and less processed stuff. I had a piece of chocolate mid-trip plus a banana and I just realized how perfectly nourishing the fruit was, whereas the chocolate was SO sweet it was almost disgusting. 2. Grow as a person and integrate past traumas. This was an interesting one. I had two past memories come up. In one there was a kid trying to bully me (I was 6 or so). However he was the loner and I was with my friend. He never got through to me and I just realized that he wanted to belong to us and that he just wanted to be loved. I didn't even know that this was a trauma (!) as I almost forgot about the memory and never would've thought it would be traumatic. However, and that was the most interesting part, I visited this particular scene again and I saw that a part of me splintered off there. And when I went through it the fragment re-integrated with me. This was absolutely fascinating (months before I read Teal Swan's Completion Process and it felt exactly as she describes it). Then there was a different scene where I was about 15 or 16 and someone I knew for years wanted to pick a fight with me and my group of friends. We did not want to fight him and his friend so we left the football field where the scene took place. As I visited the field again I saw how it could have ended. There was blood and violence. I realized that it was wise for us to leave and that this person was so full of pain that chances are rare he will be saved, ever. That was sad, as he wanted to be loved as well but had so much pain, that I could never do anything but send him love. This love theme expanded as I realized that everything that "evil" people do is for love. I had a crystal clear image of Hitler and I saw the suffering he inflicted but I could not hate him. There was only love. 2.1. Fear of Spiders Whilst on the topic of love and hate, I also confronted my fear of spiders. I'm not hysterical about it but I keep a good distance from them. Again I was sent to a past memory where there was a particulary "beautiful" fella sitting in our basement (I was about 17 I think). I tried to catch it but it was about 2-3 inches big and in the final moment I chickened out as my "friend" ran for his life (probably going on a mission to kill some rats lol). In this scene I switched perspectives and became the spider and re-experienced the exact scene from it's point of view (try telling that your therapist). I don't know if that cured my anxiety forever as I haven't seen a spider yet but it definitely showed me a different perspective (image how scary a human is for a spider). And also realized how irrational (this) fear is. 3. What is Truth? Now we get into the meat of this trip. Oh, boy. About 2.5 hours in I realized that the ONLY thing worth pursuing in life is Truth. There is nothing else. Everything else is a misguided search for Truth or just plain distraction (both are the same in the end). I thought about my life and career - Distraction. Pursuing sex and women - Truth! Just kidding... a heaping pile of distraction. Health and fitness - Whilst it's important to take care of your meat vehicle it is ultimately a distraction. EVEN happiness is a distraction! I realized that there is nothing left to do but to search for Truth. So I went on my way. I might have asked "What is Truth" one million times in the 8 hours that the trip lasted (not kidding!). Unfortunately I didn't find it... but I learned a lot: What if Truth is ugly - Would you still want it? What if Truth is immeasurable suffering - Would you still want it? What if Truth is pure insanity - Would you still want it? What if Truth is A LIE? - Would you still want it? What if Truth is death? - Would you still want it? The answer is yes (at least it was for me). I went trough them one by one. I was shown immense suffering (being eaten alive in the most painful way). I was also shown insanity. And I also confronted the possibility that Truth could be a lie (that was a tricky one). With the last one I had the sensation that something was slitting my throat. I was ready to die and tried. I wanted to let go but I just could not. So I just banged my head against the wall over and over again, trying to think my way to Truth. I also looked at my hand for about two hours and saw all kinds of weird shit happen (visuals, morphing, one time there was an eye on one of my fingers and at one time my hand disappeared literally for a couple of seconds). I realized that Truth could only be HERE and NOW. As everything else is illusion (room/space, time, ...). But I did not break through. This was frustrating to say the least. However between my last trip and this trip I got a real sense for what true self inquiry is. If done properly it happens by itself. No thinking. The question emerges in silence and gets answered in silence not thought. Thought can only bring you to the edge. You can either try to brute force it by thinking and asking over and over again (as I did here)... hoping for the ego to give the f up... or you can do it in silence (much more productive). All in all... The main thing I got out of this is that Truth is the only worthwhile pursuit (not to say that nothing else matters but it kind of does lol). I am humbled and thankful for the lessons learned but not satisfied. Hope you enjoyed! Much love. - Cheers P.S. One of the trippiest things I've ever done in my entire life is to look into the mirror whilst on the substance. Get real close. Look yourself in the eyes. See your own reflection in your own pupils. Realize that it's a reflection of a reflection of whatever. Realize that you've never seen your body for real. Freak the f out.
  8. @Leo Gura Earlier you said you'd recommend 24 KP's/Session with the technique described in the "basic book". Do you only do KP3 or KP1 & 2 as well (like it's recommended in the book)? Also: Have you tried stopping the breath at every chakra? It's an alternative/recommended technique.
  9. @Leo Gura Sounds pleasant haha Thank you!
  10. @non_nothing Thanks! Adyashanti is great. @Nahm Hmm, interesting. It always sounds so easy, if I think about it now I'd say "Just surrender" but when my identity actually is on the line it's so much harder. I'll try next time. Thank you. @Leo Gura Yup, shit happens. I'll interpret this as "keep going" or is there anything else you'd point me to? @Oktillo Yeah, so much to learn. You describe the same feeling I get on shrooms. We're just petty monkeys with some fancy technology
  11. @SirVladimir Yes , that sounds familiar. It's an experience for sure. @karkaore Thanks!
  12. @Hellspeed Thank you. What do you mean exactly by "ground it into Muladhara"? Focus on the first chakra?
  13. Yes, control def. goes out the window haha. Did you manage to surrender the 1st try or how long did it take you? I tried to surrender but my ego was just hanging on for its dear life.
  14. @PsiloPutty Yeah, this sounds nice in theory. However when I'm certain I'll die it gets a little tricky I think you're right about surrendering... it's just not what my ego likes to do as its head is on the chopping board. Thanks for your comment! @Serotoninluv It was profound indeed (and scary).