cle103

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About cle103

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  1. Hey guys, I've been meaning to write this for a while now. Some stats on me: 21 years old, male I work in a marketing agency (and I like it 90%) Meditating for 2.5 years (6 magic mushroom trips) This is mostly me reflecting and self assessing my progress and shortcomings on this journey. I've also included recent learnings. Hope you enjoy. In order of importance... Enlightenment Status: Definitely not enlightened (yet) I've worked with a coach on my Kundalini for about 3 months and I've seen a lot of improvements in my practice. Especially after reintroducing Kriya Yoga. I now do Leo's Kriya routine in the morning and a visualization + chakra meditation at night. Both take about 30 minutes each. Just yesterday I had a session at night where I felt the borders of my body dissolving combined with increased heart rate. I had this a couple times before. Sometimes with my heart nearly exploding (or so it felt). I think I'm on track here. Of course if you think "Yay, here comes my breakthrough" you loose it... nonduality you slippery bitch... Other than that I can definitely sense energy in my spine but nothing special to report. Things I've learned recently: Your day is preparation for practice! If you train distraction for 23 hours it doesn't do much if you meditate for one hour. So do one thing at a time. Finish what you start and stay mindful in every move you make. That's harder than it sounds. Especially when you own a laptop or phone lol. I've also had some really interesting experience/trip after smoking weed recently. Another thing: Meditation isn't just sitting still and closing your eyes. It's a prolonged and deep state of focus. That just made me realize how weak my focus really is. I cannot even concentrate on my third eye for 5 minutes. Screw you pornhub... Note to self: Place order for LSD and DMT asap. Life Purpose I've been working on my LP for the better part of two years now. And I believe I know what I want to do. My passions are: Health, nutrition, cooking, nonduality, yoga and art. My current approach lies in combining the health stuff and weaving in some nondual teachings. I'm working on getting some clients for online coaching on health and and nutrition. Gonna see if it's for me or not. But I can definitely see myself doing that and going deep... however my fingers are also itching to do some art. Gotta see how this pans out. Things I've learned: I basically work to make my boss rich. Man... I really like my coworkers and my boss. They're great humans. However I don't think that this is going to be my life forever. The job takes SO much time and energy that could be focussed on LP and meditation. I think it's gotta go in the long run... Dating So... yeah dating hasn't been happening for quite some time lol. At my age I should be getting drunk and high and fuck some hoes. Preferably at the same time... however this doesn't really appeal to me. Dating takes SO much energy it's not even funny. I am fucking spent after a week of work, progressing on my LP and doing all that meditating. That's my excuse at least. Sometimes I ask myself if all this dating stuff is even worth the trouble. Then again: Some female affection would be great and I believe that a deep relationship could be worth the hassle. #pleasehelp Health Health is great. I hit the gym 4 times per week. I take walks and do Yoga. I eat clean, cook my own food and I love it. I've experimented with some intuitive eating and it feels really good. However I've got a minor food addiction in the evening. As I see food as my go to way for comfort after a long day of work. Nothing drastic as I'm pretty lean and muscular and I just eat a little to much (of the healthy food). Gotta clean it up sometime but I don't have the mental band width right now. Other Learnings I basically know NOTHING. That just dawned on me after the "life is a maze" video. All I have are my direct experiences from trips and life. EVERYTHING else is just hearsay. All the knowledge I assumed was true my WHOLE life: Monkey see - monkey do. This shit is dangerous. I remember listening to Jordan Peterson half a year ago. I thought: "Man, this guy's kinda aggressive, but I see what he's saying." You don't question this knucklehead if he's on Joe Rogan cause he sounds smart. But then you listen closely to what he says and you ask yourself: "Wait what? Is he serious? Did he just say this!?" So thanks Leo for that. You/I just can't take anyone's word for anything. Gotta find out for yourself... as my statistics professor likes to say: "You can use graphs and numbers to prove any fucking thing you want." Then again: You gotta take hypotheses. But I'd rather rely on the Buddha than on the RSD guys or JP lol. --- If you made it this far: Thank you for your attention! If you got anything to point out: Blind spots or things that might benefit me/others on the same path please comment below. Much love! - Cheers
  2. @Gabriel Antonio Yeah, I'm glad as well haha. Didn't plan it... just wanted to have a relaxed evening.
  3. @Self Discovery Thanks mate! Yeah the hard part is the embodiment of that insight.
  4. @Nahm @nethernalbeing Thanks guys!
  5. Edit: How on earth can people smoke full grams of this stuff?! 0,15g's is next to nothing... with a full gram I would go bananas.
  6. Hey guys, I thought that this might be interesting for ya'll, so I wanted to share my experience from yesterdays involuntary Weed trip. I've never been into Weed as I view it as a distraction, however yesterday a good friend of mine asked if I wanted to chill out in the park and smoke some of his "best stuff". So we did. I took about four hits (no tobacco, approx. 0,15g max.). First thing I noticed was that I instantly relaxed. All the tension in my body just melted off. Quite similar to a mushroom trip. Then the Oregano went off... When looking at the plants in the park my perspective shifted inside out. I literally was that which I was looking at when I looked at it long enough. Not like "focusing on it". It was like "I am everything all at once". It felt like a switch being flipped. My body was just a part of everything. Like something carved out of consciousness. It even felt a little alien. It felt like I was everything that I could sense and my body feelings where just "in the mix". No separation. It could have all been a painted picture. No thing as empty space. No three-dimensionalty. Just all made of the same stuff. And kinda wonky too. And when my friend said something there came a small thought like "Oh, now it would be appropriate to say something... so put on your human hat for a second". That was rather surprising, not even shocking... more like "how could it be otherwise?". Interesting to note is that my breathing stopped completely when I was in this state. To get into it I just had to look at something for 5 seconds and then the switch flipped. I had to remind myself to breathe cause I was worried I might die. Also I was completely still. No movement at all. I think this was because Weed kinda dumbs down the senses and makes everything slower. Quite the opposite to "real" psychedelics but still far from your regular state of consciousness. Another thing I noticed was that I could feel my chakras ALOT. Later that evening I was lying on the couch and thought to myself "Hmm, I haven't done my 2nd meditation of the day... so I might as well do it now.". So I went into meditation just lying there and visualizing my chakras opening one by one. I could feel every single chakra immediately. Might be bc. of Yoga/Meditation but this was very surprising to me. I also learned a bunch. Here are my takeaways: I carry around ALOT of stiffness (walking, talking, being). If I want to be more comfortable with ppl. and have more fun in general it's crucial to get loose. I go hard all week with my practices, yoga, business and dayjob... sometimes it's good to just relax and be in a vegetable state haha. When you want to improve your talking skills get rid of tension in your body. Especially in your jaw and throat (tension is unconscious, relaxation requires consciousness + work on your throat chakra). If you're a little stiff when talking to ppl. RELAX. Get loose. And especially: Lower your standards of what you say out loud. Just talk and amuse yourself. And when it's time to listen and connect, listen and connect. (This was a big one for me as I invest most of my life's energy into work and self actualization. Having fun is important as well haha). My favorite insight: Every single instance of your life is a little adventure and journey. I was sitting with my friend in the metro and it just came to me that we were both just 100% in the moment, not giving a shit, having fun, cracking jokes, talking about life and it just felt magical. Not even because we were together. It would have been the same if I was alone. It would just have been another kind of adventure. I felt like a hobbit from Lord of the Rings lol. Every instance and even the most ordinary moments are magical. Our ego just drowns it out. I realized that this is one of the prime directives in my life: Make life magical again (If anybody got practices for this, let me know!) Material life kinda sucks. I imagined myself having a trophy wife and going to a fancy dinner with another couple. All stiff, glammed up and talking about boring business stuff. Holy lord... this would suck SO bad. You can have so much more fun spending tim in nature, deeply connecting and just being. Be spontaneous. Listen to what your emotions are telling you and then just go with it every once in a while (maybe even all the time, once your intuition is sharp). The power of SOFTNESS: This one sums it up for me. Softness is a much more fun and effortless way of life. As a guy I always unconsciously thought I had to be alpha, stiff and keep my shoulders back and chin up. This is a fucking joke lol. Once I commited to softness I felt literally a shell break in my body. It was about a centimeter below my skin. It was hard and thin and then it broke. After that I was just completely loose. Not resisting. Just myself. We talked to some girls and spent the evening with them and I just felt no pressure at all. We just talked, had fun and enjoyed it. I realized girls don't want that stiff gym rat. They want to be silly. Like kids. Just like a real man So all in all this was quite a journey. The peak was about 40 minutes, then it went down but lasted overall for about 5 hours. I'm still not really a fan of weed. And I will stick to the "good stuff", however don't underestimate it... Hope you enjoyed! - Cheers
  7. @Leo Gura Ah yes, Supreme Fire. Thx for clarifying.
  8. @Leo Gura By "Breath Of Fire" do you mean the Kundalini Yoga exercise or "Kriya Supreme Fire" or the "Fire Bow" from Santata Gamana books?
  9. @njuufa Hmm, yeah, she's very certain that psychedelics are the wrong path as it burns karma as she puts it.
  10. Thanks for your comment. So the suggestion would be to stick to one and go fully into it. I understand that and it makes sense. How do you stand on the position of Leo? He has a Kriya practice, does psychedelics as well as other forms of meditation.
  11. It means you've got an energy body and if you use psychedelics they can damage it so "bad" energy can come in or you get some symptoms of the dark night of the soul. Thanks for your comment. I could go my whole life without touching them again. I just had some mind blowing experiences and can't really imagine that they are harmful. Hard to judge. I have not used them long term. What do you mean by "not true"? Yeah, that's what she said as well. Don't mix it up... Don't worry mate, she's in her 60s and I'm in my 20s I may have chosen the wrong words: I was specifically referring to our guided meditations. Last time there was just uncontrollable laughter coming up and I felt my ego dissolving. I've never experienced that sober before. Yes, that's what I was thinking as well. She is a drugs counsellor. So many people she sees are fucked up. However that's not your actualized.org educated psychonaut. At least that's what I'd think. I told her that as well but she wasn't seeing my point and said using psychedelics is like burning money if karma was all the money one has saved over life times. I share your opinion. However it's hard to judge. They could also have fucked themselves up in a major way without knowing better. I personally don't think so but it's a possibility. As noted above "presence" was probably the wrong way to put it. Yeah but it's breathing on steroids to say the least. I think there's a reason why it has been kept secret. But then again, I could be wrong. Thanks mate, that's some food for thought.
  12. Hey guys, I've got a little battle going on... I've been personally working with one of the authors on Leo's book list. I won't mention names. She basically told me that psychedelics are dangerous and can be really destructive for ones karma. She told me she worked with thousands of people who have suffered various ailments due to drug use and that psychedelics cause major disruptions in ones energy body. Same goes with Pranayama/Kriya Yoga. She said if applied wrongly and without a proper teacher who gives you the right routine for your set point it could really fuck you up. I'm torn between... to say the least. Psychedelics have been by far some of the best experiences in my life. Kriya Yoga has been beneficial but hard to judge as I'm only doing it for 4-5 months or so. She said that she herself is not fully enlightened however when we do our coaching sessions I can feel a fucking presence. Even through Skype. And when I go into her guided meditation I can feel it turnt up by 100. She told me to ditch psychedelics and yoga and focus on Tibetan Buddhism combined with some forms of chakra meditation and visualization. I think I'll give her style a go for the next month at least. But man... I'm not fucking sure. What are your thoughts? Especially regarding Yoga and Psychedelics? - Namaste Bitches