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I did People have to understand that 5-MeO breakthrough have very little in common with the persistent state of no-self, non-duality like Eckhart Tolle is in. It has more in common with temporary states you can get in with advanced Samatha/Vipassana concentration practice. As for my experience, DPT and 5-MeO feel much more solipsistic, alien and energetic than what persistent states of non-duality are like. Also, I'm not able to function on higher doses.

I love the analogy that humans in society are like cells in a body. I like how you used this analogy. A couple more: Each people are like neurotransmitters to each other. Similar to neurotransmitters in our brain. Some people are like dopamine, some like gaba, some like cortisol. The earth is one giant organism. An alien viewing the earth from outer space wold see one giant organism. People are like cells communicating with each other within the giant organism. Narcissists are like cancer cells. Roads are like microtubules, energy plants are like mitochondria and on and on. . . One giant organism.

10 min reflection: Yesterday was quite good my morning routine worked today, still I wasted a lot of time and I fell alseep very late around 2am approx. Normally I go to bed between 10pm and 11pm. Still I read for quite some time as well as got distracted by the internet. Programming and seeing myself as a programmer is important as well as seeing myself as a reader and as an early riser, it helps to think my into the mind of how such a person would think and act, yet doing this deliberately and consciously is the key thing to do. Otherwise, the body-mind identification is very odd, I am not sure how I could break that Leo said kriya yoga and psychedelics are good, I know Japanese meditators in a monastary squat under a waterfall for hours to meditate. Well..... going to the gym is a joke compared to that ? I tried psychdelics around 20-30 times or so, and I definitely did not went deep enough, I noticed where the main identification of the body took and takes place and I had a kriya experienes a half year later after that insightful trip. So, it was wonderful to break free of what seemed other or alien or me. Now I notice my brain and the same spot mainly feels like it makes me want to identifiy with it, I can't sit very well and I fear the pain unconsciously having a guide sometimes is great. It is like exposure therapy I know I struggle with certain things alone, I can inform myself and conquer it the fear of doing smth. Yet, in the end. Training my body helps me to disidentify with it, since I am using up energy and learn what it means to have a body, eating healthy is a bit more similar yet more with the inner workins of the body. The same goes for the mind when reading and learning new stuff. Yet, even when uniting, feeling, insight, thinking and "being", I can not reach yet a metaphysical stage, I am seriously questioning my technique at the moment if I am to invested in something that does not work. Over the weekend I will do different exercises within the UM System and will see if what I am saying has any truth to it here and if I can learn something new. I notice how difficult, yet at the sametime easy it is to build muscles if I do the right exercises, the same goes for meditation most likely. Yet, if I train everything ? I have to take care of everything and everything won't grow as fast a one thing or certain parts. I mean it does work, yet I can't tell where I made the mistake, was it really the amount of fat I was eating ? Or is it normal that it takes time to build muscles in a calorie deficiet ? When I listen to Culadasas book I feel like I am at stage 0 or so feeling tired after 45minutes, yet that could be the strong dulness he speaks about when not training for pure concentration at the beginning. Since, I normally don't get tired, yet sometimes it hits me. It's similar to loosing balance in a state where you are constantly balancing out and insert small amounts of concentration to each moment arising and passing, retroactively or actively. I struggle with rest and gone, from shinzens technique the rest is fine, so a lot of flow and the normal see hear feel thing, yet rest is more difficult to detect for me than gone currently.

This is my solo retreat report. I hope it will inspire you to do something like this yourself. Over a month ago I started my 4 week solo retreat. I was quite ready for this. I rented a tiny cabin with no electricity, no water. Spartan conditions, but it was extremely cheap and all I could afford. It was not easy. I quickly found myself in an ocean of suffering and bliss. These two would swap back and forth, varying in intensity and duration. It didn't take me long to realize that the greater the challenge I faced, the more profound the insight at the end and the stronger the bliss following it. This kept me going through the hellish phases. Just a day or two in, I realized that no meditation technique would do. I was not in charge. All I could do was be quiet and watch as life expressed itself through me by spontaneously contemplating the right questions, than inspecting the body, then forgetting all and surrendering completely, then other activities still. I think it was day 3 when the kundalini stuff started to happen. Good thing I heard about all this many times. If I didn't, I'd probably go crazy. In my meditations unspeakable stuff was happening in my body, visions more real than reality would come to mind and I had problems discerning what was true and what was false. Many times my body got so blocked up I thought I would die, only to be forced into an even deeper surrender. Nights were no relief either. Lucid dreams full of trials and challenges awaited me. Alien abductions and meeting gurus, sages and stuff like that. In short, it was a hell of a ride. Fortunately, after about 3 days this subsided. Deep contemplations started to take place uncovering old traumas, unmet desires and such. It was beautiful. On day 14 I had the biggest insight of the retreat. I was contemplating Consciousness itself, when I realized that it is no different from Love. Than I remembered the Hindu concept of Sat-Chit-Ananda (Being-Consciusness-Love), looked closer, and sure enough, this Consciousness-Love was not different from Being either - meaning me. I bathed in this unbounded state for a couple of hours looking over a beautiful pond nearby. I came to the conclusion that I was done here, after 2 week out of 4. It has been 16 days since I came home now. A lot has changed, and nothing at all. I am clearer than ever about what I want, need and value. My life has a much deeper sense of purpose and authenticity. My contemplation skill just sky rocketed. I realized what contemplation is, and it is such a joy to do it even hours a day, as I now know that I can go all the way to the truth of anything I want to know. And since I believe, I make it happen. I have had issues with eating for a long time, even though my diet was good. A lot of shame and guilt always plagued this arena of my life. After a particularly bad meal on the retreat and a deep introspection afterwards, I asked desperately - "How the fuck do I solve this?". And the answer came - "Just ask.". I realized the ability to ask about any food and I will get an answer from inside - it tells me if I should or shouldn't eat. Quickly I realized this works for any question with yes and no. I can ask about anything and know if it is 'yes' or 'no', but it's not always easy to ask and follow the answer. This often takes balls and and losing a fat piece of ego is common here. Soooo... go do it. Spend time alone. Forget it all. Immerse yourself in yourself. You won't believe how much bullshit you are buying into. Thank you Leo, you were one of the ones who inspired me to do this!

True question. But did we go on the moon with Armstrong ? When GameBoy wasn't even existing. Seriously I don't buy it. But I understand his usefulness to appear' powerful in the cold War context. Makes sense to lie. I believe more in that' that alien on earth. And the fact that usa own massive weapons no one in the public know about.

Includes my first (brief) alien encounter on mushrooms:

Never, ever, ever do MDMA 2 days in a row. MDMA unlike other classical psychedelics, release most if not all serotonin in the brain after the first dose. Even a second dose is not wise but for self-actualization and therapeutic purposes half the initial dose 2 - 4 hours in is recommended and no more than once every 3 - 4 months or you could smoke a joint even wiser since it protects against neurological damage which MDMA could cause. Doing multiple dosage and 2 days in a row can really damage your brain. I suggest youtube a MDMA recovery smoothie and consume healthy herbs/spices especially neuro-protective ones and lots of fresh fruits and vegetables to replenish your system. Take it easy for a while, cannabis and CBD oil helps a lot with neurotoxicity if that is your thing. Personally i no longer mess with such a dangerous substance, i feel like over time it does more harm than good. Stick to natural psychedelics like mushrooms, ayahuasca, cannabis if anything. Nature knows best, whats found in nature is a direct expression of infinite intelligence manifest, thus would be highly unlikely to mess you up badly. What is created by man in a lab is most likely not in harmony with infinite intelligence thus much more likely to cause damage that may not be able to be repaired completely. Our bodies understand whats natural, anything artificial our bodies see as toxins and alien and try to get rid of it ASAP.

@Maya_0 it’s not a myth your interpreting it wrong the reason why liberation is said that you won’t be reborn is because you’ve seen through the duality of life and death and the IDEA of the death of the physical human being. They have yet to see the death of their own awareness. This is nirvana. Once they have reached this stage their enlightenemnt will carry over into their next life. They will live many A life times and never come out of their enlightened state. They could be an alien on a different planet and they would be born enlightened, the same happens here aswell. This is why some people are further than others in the journey overall to freedom. But they are still in their the form of an enlightened state, imagining themselves to have attained the great death. So they will actually remain unborn. Until they voluntarily decide to give it up and start the process over again. Enlightenment itself can never actually be attained because enlightenemnt is infinite. There are so many “forms” of enlightenment. Reaching nirvana is like starting over again but with the understanding of your true self. So you can actually achieve actual death and not the imagined death they are imagining for themselves. That’s why the religious text say freedom from bondage: end to reincarnation of life and death liberation: end of reincarnation of life and death they say the same thing and people get confused. They essentially are the same thing. One Is the imagination of it, then the person realises they are in safe hands to undergo the actual death. Unless the person is ballsy enough to undergo the straight death right away the point of enlightenment is for you to find out the absolute truth and then to actually actualise it without fear. Because what is there to fear when you are an imagination itself “an illusion” of a seperated self all you should get is the truth and then arrive right back in the same place you started to find a way to take the second part of the journey. Because realising the truth is different actualising the truth. It no longer becomes about focusing on self-awareness. But it becomes about a no mind state without focusing or having self - awareness at all. Enlightenment goes on in form for infinity. You will never reach the end because by definition you can not reach the end of infinity because it’s infinite. By this time if your not me ? you would have gained good meditative abilities. But yours truly has 50 minutes under his belt. So now I’ve made the second part even more complicated. By understanding enlightenment which was the point without doing any spiritual practices except 70,000 hours of contemplation. Which uses the mind lol and now I can’t use it so screwed you can reach enlightenment in duality becAuse it’s literally happening in front of you, you just have to look and observe direct reality itself with your own awareness because non duality IS DUALITY lol and duality is non-duality. They are identical. Which ever route you follow, both are form. Form is formless and formless is form. Both are partial truths, because the absolute truth is absolute. It’s the only thing that exists ? so you can’t really question it when everything and nothing are left out of the picture. There is no other option but to go for nirvana. You are stuck with no where to go, lol where can you go ? You are already inside absolute infinity because you are absolute infinity its literally an impossibility to doubt absolute truth and the truth about enlightenment. Literally you can’t miss it because you are all of it. Lol lol also you’ll know because there’s nothing else to do but sit in silence so you have to go and seek out a master, because the process starts again. But how do I actually do it after knowing the two options you have. Do or do not, there is no try.

@TrynaBeTurquoise Yes, I am curious about the alien as well LOL. It was always like he was operating on me. Then I noticed him by accident and he was like... "Shit, I slipped dimensions and he saw me... STOP the operation guys, we have to come back later!" Regarding the looks of it, I have no idea. Maybe the cultural images are like that because they really look like this As I said, maybe it was a figment of my imagination but then again... what would be the difference?

Awesome trip report, interesting visions and was curious as to finding out more detail about that alien you saw, lol. Why do so many people see these grey/black-eyed aliens? Is this a product of culture making this type of alien popular or did it originate from mystical experiences in the first place? I think the ladder but I want to find this out for myself. Sorry you didn't get the effects you were looking for in the re-dose later that day, but if you already consumed 3.5g earlier then your body has already built up such a tolerance to it that you would need to increase that dose exponentially to get the same effects, so re-dosing with another 3g would be a waste.

I've thought long about if I should even post this one as it was so strange and not even really a trip. But anyhow - here goes nothing. The tale of the whale began a week ago. After finishing my evening meditation I sat down in my room and just enjoyed the silence for a bit. The meditation was meh... but the after state was a dense silence. Then I journaled a bit. I jotted down some questions based on observations I made earlier this week: I was walking through the park on my way to work and just looked at the ducks. It was really interesting. Why do they do what they do? Why do they fight over food? Yes, they are programmed! They just play this program called survival without being aware of it. Very interesting. In this instance I also realized: Wait, I am doing the exact fucking thing! I am running my survival program! But who installed the program? Who is really running the show? Interesting question. This thought process came back up that evening and I just wrote down more questions... and it all came down to: Who am I? Not in a villy nilly way (in which I did one year of self inquiry) but in a very threatening way. It felt like I asked this question for first time for real. I proceeded to go to the bathroom and as I sat down to take a piss my complete identity just slipped away. It was complete silence and there was the urge to think but nothing came up. It was just a blank. There was still a body sitting there but it was not born, it had no parents and no image of itself. That was freaky to say the least until it went away again (one minute or so). --- Then, on Friday I was walking through town and again asked myself: "Who am I?". Then there was a voice in my head. The same one which talked to me multiple times during my trips. It said: "Ask a better question!". I answered: "Who is asking this question?". (This was totally spontaneous). However in that instance my mind flipped completely from the inside out. There was no "outside" there was only inside. This only lasted a couple seconds but was very radical. --- On Saturday I wanted to make my monthly trip. I weighed out 3.5g of mushrooms, made my tea. Sipped it. Laid down. The come up was slow. Then there was an insight: I had a vision of a bug of some sort which was trapped and tortured in some sort of device. It was really heart wrenching. I sent the bug love but there was no change. Then the insight hit: Love is what brought the bug there. Love is what made the device. And the torturer is acting out of Love. In that instance the device disappeared and the bug was set free. --- This was so deep but it still went on: Not only does "good" or "bad" not exist in the realm of Truth, there is a much much deeper level to it: For duality of any sort to exist, there first must be the possibility of distinction. HOWEVER, there is no distinction, there is only absolute... and THEREFORE good and bad do not exist! --- After that there was a vision of some heroin and coke addicts. I put my arms closer to my body because they were injecting themselves and I am afraid of needles. Then there was the insight: They are doing the exact same thing as you are. They are searching for the great white whale. They are searching for God! --- Another insight was: If you want to be enlightened you have to surrender the commentator. I notice this in myself especially. My mind has become much more quiet over the last months but there is still this voice which comments on everything. It's not even that malicious (that's what it tells me at least ) but it still puts everything into categories and narrates my life. This has to be surrendered as well. --- All this happened in the first two hours of the trip then something very, very strange happened. I've never had these auditory hallucinations before, it sounded alien, mechanical even. And then... don't call me crazy (or do, I don't care)... for one second... on the top right of me... an alien popped up. It was small-ish (1-2 feet), had a big head, was grey and had black eyes. This could absolutely be a figment of my imagination. I have no idea at all. But I can clearly remember it. This way or the other it was there. And what was even stranger, the trip stopped after that. It was basically the come up - no peak - come down. All in 4 hours max. This NEVER happened to me. I then proceeded to go on with my life and decided to re-dose later that evening. I did so at about 6pm with about 3g's... but yet again, there were only mild effects but no where near where 3g's have taken me in the past. It was barely noticeable, like 0.6g's maybe. This was quite disappointing as I had some big questions lined up. However the show must go on and the search for the great white whale continues. Thank you for reading!

If you are going to make a film with this music I want to play an alien.

@tsuki no tsuki is a finite form within your awareness. I’m talking about your very awareness itself. Which is also The limited form you are trying to break out of. This is your box of awareness that you want to break for freedom. This box of awareness is what will get reincarnated, not tsuki. Tsuki memories even of becoming enlightened will get stored in karma in between worlds inside this box. Because it’s stored in your box of awareness. But you don’t actually know what else from your previous life’s are stored in your box for you to make a judgment on what’s you will do after. Like let’s say your physical body died, you went to the nether world and you realised ohh I was just playing the part of tsuki, you might want to be a princess next instead of searching for enlightenment. It makes sense right ? Because if you had never stored information about enlightenment then you wouldn’t know to go for it in your next life or you may not even want to end it like you are currently doing now. This is what we can assume that karma is forward moving atleast because you realise the impermanance faster of consciousness and life itself. Anyways this box is ego, All of it and anything that can go inside of it. Until it reflects true reality and it shouldnt break and you won’t die until it does But yes it would be wrong for me to tell you that this is what you want. It is after all a choice. Also you have to remember that absolute infinity is absolutely infinite. There’s no garuntee that you will get rebirthed here, you might get reborn into a situation where you are an alien on a different planet and they don’t even have any records of enlightenment or beings reaching mahasamadhi. And you will have forgotten your memories. So you’ll essentially be a stage beige ego again. What the whole of reality is doing is increasing in consciousness to become self - aware, self - realised eventually. Even if you had siddhis on a different planet means nothing because it’s still form. So yeah it might not be for you, but this might be your chance to end it for a very long time. Like there are an infinite reincarnations possible, so much form that you could enjoy and never reach the end of. Just as a human it’s an option although if your enlightened, it wouldn’t be much of an experience rather than for the fun of it. Still it’s possible for your Box of awareness to give up its enlightened state and then suffer through it. ————————— lol dude I have family, it’s not like I’m immune the karma of this body ahah, what would they say if I’m just sleeping and I died. This is illusion but you know obviously I’m very attached to everything. I’m considering giving it a hard pass ?

Do I have to meditate with eyes closed? I'm asking myself all kinds of questions all the time. For example, why now I'm typing these words and then I'll see myself in another place? Why I can't see myself in both places or see that I'm both death and alive? Why we move from the past to the future and not otherwise? We think of time as a normal dimension and rarely question the nature of time. But time and MOTION is more alien than that.

SOLID YELLOW. She made the role of an "alien" learning how to be a human. The soundtrack gives me goosebumps. Listen on Spotify: Under The Skin (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) By Mica Levi Melodysheep (they make remix with scientific documentary clips, etc): Turquoise: I know if I put it into Turquoise or Blue (It's more Turquoise to me, if you compare it to modern "Gospel" songs which is basically pop/country-sounding with blue lyrics): They sound Turquoise to me: Coral: (I know, that's already a sort of joke, but when we build computer-brain interfaces this will be such a pun):

Thanks for the answer. By alien I meant to say that it feels as if there's some life force that makes us experience things in our temporal dimension and we're just vessels inhabited by it. I don't identify with the "force", that's what I did all my life thinking that we're the authors of our own fate. Now I think that the force is beyond our control and we're already stuck in space and time. Could this be God or infinite consciousness, I don't know. But "me" feels like a pixel on the screen and nothing more. It is called overthinking

Well first off - don't take anything i say as the Absolute Truth, because they are merely pointers. And it's OK to be skeptical - you should be. And i expect to be demonized whenever i talk about Truth because it's extremely radical. But for me i discovered through direct experience that Leo's claims are in fact correct. (Not just his but any awakened person and there were many before me) I hit the first of my non-dual states when doing self inquiry to figure out what the hell i was. And then bam - it happened. A non-dual state. Here consciousness is at a completely different level and the self consciousness that you thought was you collapses into universal consciousness. That's when you will know you're True self. It wlll be actual. But requires a non-dual state in which you are pure actuality. The alien might be something your mind is conceptualizing and identifying with...(for me it was the soul) but if while meditating you can identify with that alien you should be able to become conscious that this is in fact "an answer" that your mind has deposited into the slot which in Truth is awareness itself - or Absolute Truth itself. This can subsequently help you disidentify with the alien. In a sense you aren't wrong because the idea of an alien is still part of God!

Are you sure it is "you" imagining? I have this permanent alien feeling that me is not me, even though it feels like me. Isn't fear a human emotion? What if this "alien entity" has taken over our existence and we're just living its dream?

Thanks for posting! I don't know what Crysty is exactly but at least I know she isn't a solid being. She might be a spirit, an alien or she might be what some posters here called a tulpa. I don't have schizophrenia, although having said that I can recall not just my voice but my family members voices and the voices of other people as well as create voices. This I think comes from listening to music a lot and sometimes mentally listening to music. I got slapped around for poking at her. How do you think she'll react with me point blank asking if she's been extra promiscuous lately?? I've already replied this to a poster, but I'll repeat. She first imposes her form into my senses, I focus, she showers with me and cuddles with me in bed sometimes. That's as sexual as it gets.

The introduction page was getting too long. Here the text continues,,,,,, Our brain falls into patterns of cyclic neurotoxicity as a result of emotional repression of the fight/flight mechanism during early trauma, social stress, abandonment or deprivation of needs during in our infancy. Thus the neurotoxicity that is addressed by kundalini awakenings is the repressive mechanism built into our primary wiring (0-5 years development). This initial patterning becomes the template for ongoing emotional repression, and lack of neuron-recouperation, which interferes with the smooth running of our catecholamine "activating" neurons. (The Catecholamine metabolism proceeds from tyrosine, to DOPA, to dopamine to norepinephrine and then to epinephrine.) Van Winkle says that other neurotransitters and metabolites build up in the synapses and this impaired function further contributes to stress. As you can imagine this leads to very inefficient brain function, and often kundalini awakening is initiated during a particularly high “stress/stress relief” cycle. Or rather, since the neuro-repression is unraveling, life circumstances seem to come to a profound nexus and crescendo of inner-outer events hyper-affects us to bring the nervous system to an acute crisis. The repression is thus its own antithesis, in bringing about its dissolution through the polar nature of existence itself. When there is simply no energy left to keep the repression system in place, nature steps in to reset the entire organism through a kundalini awakening, thereby redeeming what might have been a lost childhood, and permitting healing from the slings and arrows of life. How did this pattern of emotional repression originate? A mother’s behavior must be attuned to the infant’s basic needs. Babies suppress fight/flight responses when their needs are so unmet that they go into a freeze response. The vegetative unmyelinated vagus controls basic metabolism and responds to stress by "immobilisation behaviours." Domesticated animals including humans are sub-natural when it comes to releasing the tension of both fight/flight and freeze. Also children are encouraged to "lie" by inhibiting the expression of fear, anger, sadness, and so the neurotic, dissociated false self that doesn't know what it feels is built. Kundalini awakenings constitute a mechanism for the ultimate release of this primal repression, allowing our brains to evolve and mature beyond the ongoing cycles of repression/neurotoxicity/detoxification. The ultimate terror for a newborn organism is to be undergoing postbirth separation anxiety without the genuine emotional support of a mother figure. The trauma would still occur if the mother is there but is emotionally absent, distracted, depressed, rejecting or unloving. I suspect that the panic button comes on full bore and simultaneously to protect the baby from its own panic, the numbing or freeze button would also come on. Thus it may not appear from the outside that the baby is in deep distress. From this initial setting of terror, the consequences of this brutal entrance into the world cascade throughout the life of the individual such as: learning disorders, lack of coordination, shyness, lack of direction, chronic loneliness, bodymind schism and the inability to know what one truly feels, lack of a sense of center and focus, inability to feel included, relationship difficulties, diet and digestive disturbance, addictions, self-destructive entropic lifestyle etc… Ultimately leading to physical, emotional and mental diseases of various sorts. Without a kundalini awakening that primary conditioning that we took on in our infancy still has a huge sway over our bodymind and lives. That is why kundalini can be so scary at times, because it is addressing our most fundamental and primitive structures…way below the domain of rational operation. While the nerves in the emotional limbic areas of the brain are being kindled by kundalini our emotions are unleashed, hence the crying, anger, fear, ecstasy, love, attraction, deja vu etc...that happen in the early stages of the peak. (See Action Matters) Permanent changes in consciousness occur via kundalini's impact on the nerves by the extra pruning of axions and changes in myelination patterns, and changes in the spectrum of neurotransmitters and firing patterns. But what I don't understand is how the kindling of the brain leads to detoxification of the synapses. For sure kundalini must cause a loss of excitatory glutamate receptors which might contribute to the experience of equanimity and peace, but also to apathy and depression. And once the catecholamine neurons are no longer on permanent alert and forcing the production of the neuroinhibitors: glycine, GABA, optiates and serotonin in an effort to subdue hyper-arousal, the entire brain should come out of its self-suppression and become more available to present moment consciousness. I suspect that it is the massive ongoing deluge of opiates and the other “relaxation” and pleasure chemicals of kundalini that allow the body to come out of its perpetual hyper-arousal. In this way the nervous system doesn’t need such extensive detoxification as it did during its radical-repressed condition…this leaves more energy and resources for higher states of consciousness and being. As the nervous system becomes more “efficient” and needs less resources to deal with damage control, we essentially incarnate to a greater degree and spiritually evolve. We show up! As the Spirit finally starts penetrating the “shield of closure” there is a sense of extra "Presence" that accompanies anyone going through an awakening. A Presence which thereafter is forever with us to a greater extent than prior to awakening—because we have become freed from the repressive mechanisms of our primary matrix. Some people interpret this new larger “Presence” as an alien entity, God or spirit of some form, and thus continue the infant denial of their own existence as spirit. The end result of a kundalini awakening is the significant reduction in body tension and body pain in general, coupled with the calming of emotions and reduction in reactivity. Having more Presence (contemporary available consciousness) we also have a greater sense of self-boundary so conditions of borderline personality, codependency and neurosis in general are reduced or eliminated. With the repression lifted we are both better able to defend ourselves, more trusting and less defensive, because we have the full power of the "unsuppressed" Hypothalamus-Pituitary-Adrenal Axis at our disposal. All our defense mechanisms and aspects of embodiment should therefore be more responsive to ongoing development, and the individual is able to mature at a far greater speed…having as it were the “primal veil of sleep” lifted from ones being. From this Toxic Mind Theory we can see why humans are so good at denial of reality, and what we are sacrificing by keeping this closure from reality intact. Through our repression of truth, we avoid our own incarnation and so are condemned to spiritual loneliness and separation from the cosmic whole. Van Winkle says that the suppression of anger is more damaging than the trauma itself. For suppressing anger causes toxicosis in the brain which shows up as mood disorders, addictions, PTSD, all manner of depressions, codependency (loss of inner resources) and a host of other mental/emotional disorders. Since the inhibitory mechanisms of the brain are dysinhibited during a kundalini awakening, due to the increase in excitatory chemistry, this is the perfect time for undergoing assisted or self-administered primal therapy. The primal therapy of releasing repressed anger and grief is a simple and effective means of rectifying the toxicosis that is at the heart of most neurological disorders. Once the detoxification process has cleared neural pathways, recovery is virtually complete, restoring memory, intelligence and creativity and overcoming dysphoric symptoms. The native euphoria of the living organism is returned and unity with cosmos reestablished. There is still more left on this web page,,, http://biologyofkundalini.com/article.php@story=ToxicMindTheory.html

Ok then. Honestly I don't know what Crysty is 100%. Whether she is a spirit, a tulpa, an alien, my guardian angel, my split personality or something else I don't know. All I can say is "thank you for being with me, Crysty". Thanks to you, Crysty is now teasing me about having a daddy complex and being a perv lol. Please, have mercy! I'm crying! Can't breathe!?

@ethanb121 I have some experiece that might be of some use. I don't know much about the third eye except for my personal experience working with focus. I used to experiment with weed and meditation at the same time with surprising results. I would smoke and then focus on the pressure in my forehead. This pressure would intensify and/or transofrm and I would "follow" it and after about half an hour my perception changed quite considerably. All sorts of insights poured into my mind. My thoughts started to create complex structures that were comprehensible yet so alien. And when I say complex I mean "holy shit this changes everything I know" complex. It was quite something. It felt so nostalgic. Like returning home from a long journey. I was quite impressed. The interesting thing is that it was repeatable process. Every time I tried to do it it worked with varied intensity. I didn't pursuit it further because I had some personal things to take care of at the time. Now the way I did it was quite unintuitive. When I focused on the pressure I had to make sure not to try to direct it, manipulate it or try to intensify the pressure by any means by myself. This would disrupt the procces. I had to specifically pay attention to the pressure instead trying to get something out of it. This was really important. The only way I would get there was by letting go of the need to be there. This is quite paradoxical and hard to transcend but it seems it is the requirement. I tried to repeat the procces without the weed but with no results. Weed itself has many drawbacks and is hard to work with in any spiritual proccess. So take this story of mine more like an interesting anecdote than something you inspire yourself with. The built up pressure in your forehead can be really disruptive if not handled properly. If you have no experience with releseing it it can really hinder your ability to function in everyday life. And lastly I don't know if my experience has anything to do with the third eye there are just similarities with the region in question.

@Leo Gura Do you know anybody that has "awakened to love" and now is walking around all loving all the time? I just don't think such people exist. The closest are probably monks who put a lot of emphases on loving-kindness meditation in their spiritual training. Don't you think your emotions are influencing a lot of your interpretation of psychedelic experiences? One thing I think you greatly underestimate is how peoples interpretation of the same experience can differ. For example from your enlightenment happening live video, I can tell you have much much stronger emotional reaction than me. When I first awakened to no sense of agency, I basically came back to my computer and continued to watch youtube. Even when I had my first big psychedelic breakthrough, first thought was not God but rather that was the most alien and weird experience ever, like becoming a very fiber of reality. Don't you think that these cosmic experiences where there is no "I" but still awareness that you enjoy, are still in a subtle way a survival strategy compared to a complete cessation of consciousness like Nirodha Samapatti? I don't think it's possible to shift into a persistent state of love. However, if it's somehow, I wish you to attain this and guide us on how to do it.

@Leo Gura I have been asking lately what is love? . Because all I know about love is this energetic fulfilling alien refreshing feeling. But if all these things are dualities , what is love then? . Are these feeling made by God to make me go this way until I really discover what love is . So that they are not really want love is .

A write up of my interpretation of Leo's video and insights on the knowledge I gained from my 4-aco-dmt trip. There are two different types of truth. We have relative truths. For example, I am a human being, the entirety of science, the sky is blue, that we live on planet earth, Pythagoras theorem etc. They are generally statements or ideas that we hold as true. They seem so real. They are the anchor to the way we perceive life and they form the bedrock of our world view. However, they are only true are relative to human knowledge and experience. They are a set of symbols that we give emotional value and meaning. They are not absolutely true. For example, Pythagoras theorem is true from the mathematical paradigm, we can say it is true relative to human mathematics. It won't be true for an advanced alien species. They wouldn’t understand Pythagoras theorem and the symbols that represent it. For a cow, it is completely non-sensical. To it there is no Pythagoras theorem, it doesn't exist from its point of view. You see humans have the special capability of creating meaning out of symbols and projecting those symbols on to the raw data in our experience. This is how relative truths are born. Don't get me wrong, they are very useful to navigate and survive in life and is the reason to how humans have advanced so much technologically. Just don't take them so seriously, because they are not absolutely true. Let us take another example. You believe that we live on Planet Earth. As a species, we have come to an agreement that the label we call “Earth” is what we live on. Then this knowledge integrates itself into our belief system, and into our minds, and it feels actually real that we live on Planet Earth. You see, this idea becomes accepted in society due to our continual enforcement of it through media, anecdotes and scientific literature, it sinks deep into our subconscious mind and forms the bedrock of our worldview. But this truth is only true relative to the ideologies, and systems of knowledge that we have created. It makes me feel secure to say, “I am a human being that lives in London on a planet called Earth”. Knowledge is our safety net. It makes us feel sane. When in fact it is completely insane that existence is to be at all. It is really mad if you think about it. “Earth”, implies we exist in a certain location in time and space. Without this label, where would our experience be happening? This is when we start to investigate Absolute truth. Notice that “Earth” is a very broad description of our planet. What does the Earth consist of? Is it all the objects that aren’t living? Is it the total combination of both living and not living material? Then is the Earth also your body? Or is the Earth everything apart from your body? What even is the "I" that lives on earth? Is it your thoughts, your feelings, your brain? You see really it means nothing to say “I live on Earth”. It doesn't solve or prove anything, it is just a statement that we completely take for granted so we can go about our day, without disturbance. When you see the transparency and lack of substance to that statement, it will shock you to your bones. You will experience a deep sense of not knowing where the fuck you are, which is scary. We could have come up with a completely different system of knowledge to describe the raw data of reality, and these would have only been true to that system of knowledge that was created. You see science is true, relative to the axioms that have created science. If there is an experiment that disagrees with the axioms of science it is not true relative to science. Science is a relative truth. Einstein’s theory of General Relativity is a beautiful mathematical model that describes gravity. It enables us to build amazing technologies, but is it actually true? Relatively it is, but not in the absolute sense. It tells us that mass can bend space-time, so we create mathematical representations of space-time curvature using n-dimensional manifolds. But this still doesn't describe HOW matter bends space-time. A physicist doesn't care HOW it can bend space-time, he just cares about results. He wants to build a theory that will enable him to predict the future outcomes of how reality will unfold within a certain degree of accuracy. These theories aren’t absolutely true. Take Newtonian theory. It is relativity true for describing objects that move at very slow speeds. Notice the conditioning on that. It isn’t true for objects approaching the speed of light. Science is the process of bettering a system of knowledge that we have created in order try and understand reality. This system of knowledge can never totally describe the universe as its foundation is reliant on the laws of language. Science is really a crude way to try and reach absolute truth but an amazing way to create the technologies we use today. You see these truths are relative to the culture that you have been brought up in. Society, 2000 years ago would have had many different relative truths; and also people back then would have taken them as absolute truths. If you would have taken a time machine back to their society and tried to explain your truths that were true relative to your system of knowledge, they would think you are insane. I mean this even happens across vastly different cultures today. Also, their interpretation of the language you speak would be very different back then. Knowledge is a slippery thing. You see the problem is epistemological. No one has actually taken the time to study what knowledge/language actually is. Then they have just taken on certain systems of thought and symbols to try and make sense of reality without actually questioning the knowledge that they use to form their worldview. All of these relative truths distort your perception of life. They are like a smokescreen, prohibiting you from seeing the absolute truth. This is why other people seem crazy to you. They have taken up certain relative truths into their belief system that contradict the relative truths you have taken up. But the thing is because you are biased towards your own mind, you will defend your own ideas against that “crazy” person’s idea. Absolute truth is what it actually happening in your direct experience, it rises above knowledge and mind. The thing is that you can’t experience that absolute truth because you can’t shut your mind up for a long enough period of time, which is why the mystics have strong meditative/spiritual practice in place. You are constantly looking at the world through your ego, through your world view, through the belief systems you have created. Probably one of the relative truths that form your perception of life is that the Absolute truth of existence is impossible for you to discover. You aren’t conscious enough of what is actually happening in the present moment to see the absolute. The absolute truth of existence, to why we are here, is right in front of your nose. You are the absolute truth; it is what you are existentially. I can’t put it into words. You must investigate the present moment with such concentration to see it. You as a perceiver, as a self, as a human being, as a system of beliefs, must be non-existent for you to see life from the absolute perspective. Then you will get it.