Marinus

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About Marinus

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  • Birthday 12/13/1996

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  • Location
    Belgium, Antwerp
  • Gender
    Male

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  1. @SageModeAustin The first sentence made me laugh, that's true. Keeping it to myself is indeed much better. A year ago I tried to convert people into self-development by preaching about it., which ofcourse didn't work and soon people had expectations of me that I couldn't live up to. I like to be in the moment when eating. How did you changed the way you looked at this?
  2. @Psyche_92 A long time ago yes, maybe time to rewatch it. @Pilgrim Connection is in my experience also one of the most beautiful things in life. I'm not clear on my passion, I think it is related to the deep genuine conversations, there is nothing more that can energize me and fuel me. I have a friend and we can discus anything without shame and we learn so much from each other. I don't know if this would be really a passion, maybe the topics I discus instead, the lessons of life. That is alo why I was attracted to this field and actualized.org. @ajasatya From my observation most people I talk with for a while open up pretty fast with there life and share things with me that are private and it seems that they trust me. Usually this is a result of me opening up first. This is probably not what you mean though. In my case I'm living more in my head then my heart and when making choices I use my head which often results in overthinking. @supremeyingyang Adaption socially is hard, I can't shut up my thoughts, it's like being hyper aware about my self constantly, unless it's one on one, then I'm all ears. @Charlotte I think it depends on the people. People with strong values that they live up can have a positive effect on friendship. Maybe what you refer to are the people I avoid and don't invest time in and that's why I don't have many. Honestly I have the need of friends to have deep conversations and learn from them, how would it be to not need them? @Shin I like everything I do in my student room . Last year I went to meet ups and I liked that. Unfortunately there aren't that many hosted here. Thank you for the replies everyone.
  3. @NoSelfSelf@NoSelfSelf I like this idea, I'm on it already. @supremeyingyang Thank you for sharing your story! I was very anxious, but thanks to self-development it has reduced a lot. I do feel very much like an outcast in society ever since being a child. o told that the path of self-development leads toward loneliness and it sure feels that way. It's true that I pressure myself a lot and it's difficult let that go. I like your list, this to honest is going to be hard, but I don't really see another way. I only don't understand number 4, you mean speaking spontaneous thoughts out loud? @Psyche_92 last year it was harder for me since I live alone. My family is toxic and I don't visit them often, my wellbeing has improved fortunately since leaving. I heard people that seem very developed say the same, but how do I embrace this? And your right it feels like having a void in me.
  4. @aurum Basically self-development and studying is very similar in workload. Doing all this stuff is stressful with distraction as a result in order to reduce the stress. I want to find a way to combine the two without being stressed, it is very tiring. At the moment my self-development is easy and not of high quality, like listen to videos and introspection here and there. At the moment college is my priority and my second year is a lot more work then a year ago. Besides everything I take care of my self entirely , like cooking which takes time. I'm always very hard on myself and it feels like wasting time to struggle with not doing enough self-development work. I don't want self-development to result in stress, but happiness.
  5. @SFRL I will look into that. Why would rather give up Minecraft, is it a personal choice or does it more harm in your opinion?
  6. So I don't know where put this topic I like MARVEL and many people these do, because the cinematic movies are very popular. So I think I'm mostly at stage green, but I have some orange shades. I don't which stage these movies belong to but the whole Hollywood industry seems to be orange. Superheroes do things for the greater good, but the popularity is more about the action scenes and cinematic experiences. I want to transcend orange, but I struggle to give up action movies like this and similar media, like anime and live action series. The one replacement I can think of is media focused on stage green and above, like YouTube content. The only problem with these videos is that it makes me tired to learn constantly. Also stage orange has valuable self help content, but of course action movies don't belong there. Besides the film industry I like to play Minecraft, because it is a way to express my creative ideas and it gets me in the flow state. Does someone know how to give up (films) this interest and focus more on stage green and above?
  7. @Sahil Pandit Thanks I copied the link in my common place book, that's a lot of traps, good work.
  8. @NoSelfSelf Yes, honestly I'm not interested in most people, which makes me picky. Do you recommend some circumstances? I also I think can make insecure people feel inferior thanks to my attitude which is rather difficult to avoid. For example when doing group work I tend to be the (task oriented leader partly because of the vibe I create.
  9. @Sahil Pandit fortunately I have one, but lately I haven't used it as much. I also use a common place book for my lectures. Can you explain what you mean with the second sentence, I don't think I understand it correctly. Why do advice to skip outside knowledge? Thanks by the way!
  10. So I feel lonely and I don't have friends in Belgium where I study, besides a girlfriend, my friends live in the Netherlands where I'm from. The thing is that I don't want to invest in people that I don't want to be friends with, which is almost everyone I meet. Friendship is something special to me and in my opinion this is something you work towards together. Many people seems to have shallow friendships. I'm more interested in the deep stuff like the topics of actualized.org. Unfortunately not so many people I meet know stuff like this or are interested enough to learn it. Besides this I'm very introverted which I don't have problem with, but this makes it hard socialize and go out to meet people. Everyone has strengths, but socializing isn't one of mine, except when discussing deep topics or one on one conversations. I also don't like chatting and wasting time with social media. When I talk with people they usually are surprised by my authenticity, openness and of course the understanding of my self (please don't say the self isn't real, I'm not advanced enough to grasp this yet). So impressing people is fun, but I don't have many points to relate to another, many like drinking, going out, tv, games, social media and small talk (at least the students I meet). I think I'm at stage green with some shades of orange and yellow. I only have one friend that is at a similar level, consciously who gives me energy when I talk and listen to him. The biggest road blocks to get friends are: Not wanting to waste time on people that I don't have common ground with which is most of the people I meet; Being very solitary, doing solitary stuff; Introverted; Serieus about friendship; Struggle to keep in to touch with friends; very focused on my own growth and introspection. I want to know how you guys make friends that are worth it, or please give me some feedback on how I perceive friendship as far as you understand the picture that I see. Thank you in advance!
  11. Hi guys, I'm a student and I struggle to combine self actualization and studying for college. I think it's because doing proper elf actualization work looks like studying for college, especially, because I study applied work & organisation psychology. I have some parallels with self development, like positive psychology. So I want to ask you some tips too be better at combing the two. Currently I have a morning routine of breathing, western yoga and meditation. Besides this I only watch videos to gain knowledge. Doing this makes me tired and stressful.
  12. What do you guys think about this?
  13. @Antonius Ever heard of comfort zone challenges? My advice is to look into it and start to practice it in a city where you don't know anyone. This gives you result very fast, if you do the techniques. This way you start to notice that people don't really care about you. Your confidence will rise and right after doing it you might feel invincible. This makes you believe in yourself and you will start to think positively. A year ago I had strong social anxiety, but since doing this and becoming more aware this has reduced a lot. Those you challenges make you proud. At least that's my experience, it gives a lot of benefits overall and it isn't as scary as it seems.
  14. @Ingit sounds logical
  15. @Sbilko haha yeah have controle over it even without meditation. I breath in and stop for a mili second then it feels like energy in my body. With some repetitions following I het goosebumps on my arm. It seems focus is key. @ItO are you also able to redirect the feeling through your body? I can even get the sensations around my skull. @PsiloPutty my back is the main place for the shivers.