Marinus

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About Marinus

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  • Birthday 12/13/1996

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    Belgium, Antwerp
  • Gender
    Male

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  1. 6 - 12 - 2019 This night was really scary and stressful. I dreamed 3 times about almost getting killed. The first and second time were the same dream scenarios, but with different outcomes. For some reason I and a lot of people were locked in a mal/restaurant. We were locked in an unused space 7 meters above the mal/restaurant or even more. There was one square hole 5^2 meters to enter the mal/restaurant below and the unused space was huge and was separated with a floor. What I thought was cool is that I had the staff of Avatar Aang from my favourite story of all time. I also was able to use the skills I learned from my wing chun lessons (very basic skills). Every one was trying to kill everyone, but I didn't want to damage my soul with murder, so I tried my best to not go to far. I remember attacking and defending from people with and without my staff and I felt scarred and very focused. I don't remember getting hurt. There was this one instance that that someone wanted to knock me of a metal staircase (the ones you have in factories). If I fell it could mean death from breaking a neck. I managed to grab the stair handrail and the second time I dodge a big man who wanted to push me. I had no choice to knock him off the staircase I thought that I wouldn't stand a chance against him. Eventually I managed to glide away with my staff and I escaped the building to inform the police. My second dream was identical to the point of flying away, but in this instance I had no staff to glide away. Everyone was going on until the were knocked out or death. In my dream I was to occupied with survival. In this case their was this girl who was my last opponent. She suddenly activated a robot killing machine (similar to the ones in robocop). I thought know way I can survive this in a fight instead I needed to use my brains. I took a big risk to quickly run towards the hole and let me fall 7 + meters with a relaxed body in order to survive the fall. I came up with this idea in seconds so I had no chance to doubt this Idea. If I were to die anyway I better take this risk I thought. After the fall I don't remember hurting myself. Then the girl in the machine jumped down to eliminate me with machine gun turrets from the robot. I remember hiding after a concrete pillar and I later escaped from the building were the glass was shattered from the turrets. I ran for my life and I again informed the police. The third instance was different and it involved my father. Feedforward to the moment of danger we drove with his camper in a muddy landscape, because the road was blocked or something and the police said we should go there instead. Then we drove down to a lower ground which was risky, but I trust my fathers driving abilities. Important to note is that I was on top of the camper instead of the passenger seat. We got stuck in the mud near a calisthenics training ground. There were two man. One in his 20's like me and his father was in his 50's. The older man threw a having training ball to me op purpose and I threw it on the ground. He had a smirk on his face and I thought this was probably not a nice person. He again threw something a throw toy that looks like a combination of a rugby ball and a rocket to throw on beaches. I threw this one again away. He came towards me (the camper was just as high as a normal car in that moment). He looked intimating and he had an imposing physique. I again felt threatened and very focused, I was battle ready. He wanted to punch me, but my reflexes noticed this and I went into punching mode. I hit him with the Wing Chun chain punches, but I was to weak for this opponent. I had to use my speed instead of strength. He again wanted to punch, but like a sledge hammer punch (up to now I was sitting). I avoided the man and I hit him with a sledge hammer punch on the back. I stepped down of the ground and when he wanted to attack I used my Wing Chun skills again. I wasn't hit the whole time. Suddenly the man took out a big knife of 20 cm lang. It looked like a military knife. I thought shit now I'm fucked so I ran away to the place we came from, but his son was blocking the way in the middle of the road. His father came and the surrounded me. I don't exactly know how, but I managed to get behind the older man. His son wanted to shoot me with a rifle, but I was fast enough to move to my right and he shot his father instead. I ran away and he shouted to me. I then became a refuge for a while to stay hidden. 12 - 12 -2019 Today I read a lot of fiction. I think I found my tv replacement and that's reading fiction. I thought that reading fiction wasn't fun and a waste of time, but now I don't think that anymore. It's more beneficial than tv. 13 - 12 -2019 My birthday! I went to the gym again and celebrated my birthday alone. Honestly I don't are much about celebrating my birthday. I'm grateful for all the people who congratulated me and I'm grateful to have existed as a human being for 23 year. This day I wasn't hard on my self. I just wanted to relax and enjoy myself. 14 - 12 - 2019 I decided to learn Japanese. I had an invite to go to someone's party in our student house, but I didn't go. I notice that I don't like to be outgoing every week it's to much of the same for me. My social needs are very limited I think. I started a second fiction story. I have seen it's anime, but apparently the novel is better. I learned that fiction stories can increase empathy, because you read someone's thought process and journey. So this basically means that reading fiction is a way to increase EQ?
  2. @SharpMind No Viagra thx! I already fixed this issue, but thx for your input.
  3. 5 - 12 -2019 Again I have no muscle soreness. I did hit a limit, but according to some experienced people on the internet muscle soreness doesn't mean growth. You can grow if you have no soreness. I felt very tired and apathetic today. I don't know why, but it didn't make me depressed so I'm hopefully cured from feeling like a depressed person. I saw a great video about attracting the right person and thinking about what he said it makes total sense and makes pick up less relevant. Video:
  4. 4 - 12 -2019 I missed some activities, but working out went well. I again managed to go Havier, but this time I definitely hit a limit with all of them. For some reason my presence today at college was bigger. It looked like that different girls in my class glanced their eyes on me multiple times. I wonder if they notice subconsciously that I'm getting a stronger physique. I do notice it. It's not much, but my muscles are starting to show more
  5. 3 - 12 - 2019 I discovered that I had to do something for college which I am still procrastinating. I'm planning to do this tomorrow morning. I had a lot o stress so I fapped it away. I do this a lot if I'm stressed. I will go to bed early and unfortunately I skipped Wing Chun because of this choice. I will go to bed in a couple of minutes. I managed to make a new You Tube video, so my day wasn't a complete failure. I don't look forward to my assignment, but I do look forward to going to the gym tomorrow evening.
  6. @RasheedI do indeed eat multiple bean kinds, mostly two + vegetables, but today 4 kinds. They are really cheap. Healthy food in general is cheap (I don't mean organic that's even better). Chia seeds I highly recommend, because it also has Omega 3 which many people lack in their diet.
  7. 2 - 12 - 2019 Today was productive and I managed to complete every daily goal, abstain from anime and such, don't fap, work for college and do chores. I started a new book "how to tame your gremlin and while reading I realized how aware I have become about this voice that tells me things and that I grew a lot and developed some form of resistance to it, but off course I'm not immune.
  8. 1 - 12 - 2019 Today was a wasted day. I went to bed in the morning because of going out and I will go to bed soon, so my day was very short. I will only write this entry and meditate and nothing more. I didn't learn anything new today except that I made an unwise choice to sleep so late.
  9. 30 - 11 - 2019 Today I was very tired I napped for 1 to 2 hours while I drank coffee before, I didn't know this was possible. Wing chun was very fun today, but my forearm bones hurt from blocking punches. I again look really forward to going to the gym next Monday. I notice my belly getting a bit fatter which is good. Currently I weigh almost 75 kg! After typing this I will go out and have some fun with a friend and maybe an old peer from high school. I'm still astonished that I like dancing and going out. The last time I got noticed by 5 girls which was fun, but not my goal. I'm happy that my ex showed me the way of going out, otherwise I wouldn't have done this I think.
  10. 28 - 11 - 2019 Not every task is completed. Failed nofap again. I'm looking forward to work out again tomorrow. My tooth hurts. Despite the alchol from yesterday I didn't have a lot of muscle soreness. Mentally I felt good today.
  11. @Rasheed Soy milk in my case has negative effects, like colon pain and thin toilet sludge. I once read that soy can be bad for your health if you eat it everyday, but that has to do something with the way it's processed. Corn is foor the most part indigestible. If you chew it you will notice that the other layer doesn't digest with saliva which is a the first process in digesting. Also if you shit look at it and you will see that it indeed didn't digest. I don't think your body has benefits from it. I personally experience a lot of gas from corn, which I think is because it's mostly indigestible. However I think some people can handle it better than I do. The best thing you can do is trial and error. Eat soy everyday and notice how it effects your wellbeing. Then eat corn for a week and so on. For protein I eat green beans, red beans, brown, white, black beans (black beans are the best), chickpeas, peas, peanuts, chia seeds. And I even got heavier from it!. These are way better alternatives in my opinion to soy.
  12. I read once that a study showed that only men (not women) that look smart have a positive correlation with being smart. And what people call nerds are mostly "smart people" and they don't look like alpha males, but instead like smart people. Anyway the reason for saying this is that maybe there is a correlation with physique appearance and being a bad boy. Some men look stronger than others like the mesomorph body type and others look weaker. I mean this a factor that also influences this mental picture of what men are face value or am I mistaken?
  13. I think I'm slowly crawling out of the same pit as you do. I can say that having a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend is not worth it. Also I think that in this time and age people are very focused on themselves (me me me) at least in the west if you know what I mean. The best thing you can do in my opinion is enjoying your day as it is right now, you only live right now. I think @Nahm said this ones to me "If you wish something away you (or just wishing) you choose suffering" something like that and that is applicable to whishing a GF. I tried to live by that since and lately my mindset is starting to shift because of it. I hope it can help you too. Good luck!
  14. 27 - 11 - 2019 Today I again made some progress in the gym. I was able to increase the difficulty of every exercise. In a couple of minutes I will have a drinking game with fellow dorm students, that's an opportunity to socialize for me. Meditation went bad, because I was more distracted than average. My Primedynamicwisdom instagram page has a little more followers now so hopefully I will walk in my brothers footsteps and positively influence the world.
  15. 26 - 11 - 2019 I failed two thing. No-fap and watching a movie again. I also felt down, is this a homeostasis symptom or not? Wing chun was fun though despite not having much motivation to go. I also listened to some love songs which I rarely do, might this be the cause? On the positive note, I have more belly fat, which is great! It means my BMI is getting healthier.