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Ok, so for most of today I’ve felt this weird kinda of refreshing emptiness, it feels weird to feel different in the same places you always are... It seems that I feel differently each time I walk from the studio to the house. There is infinite hope, but pressing acknowledgement of the dissatisfaction I feel towards the level of progress I’m making... I am aware that I ACTUALLY CAN have everything I want spiritually as well as materialistically, but there is an invisible barrier... a barrier that is clearly understood to be emotional (I find this as I meditate) I meditated this morning as soon as I woke up for about 14 minutes... it was strenuous but dude you’ll get there MATE you will one day be meditating for an hour a day, and experiencing the effects. You will be able to EXPECT shit you want to happen JUST like you currently expect to be an awkward fuck, making an alien outta yourself, not expressing your true self. You have the power- and I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks- to induce happiness in EVERYONE you interact with, by just relaxing. Funny shit comes when you feel comfortable in the situation. What seems to make you feel uncomfortable? (All of which are actually as completely natural and divine as bacon) • Fucking incest. • Engaging in the social hierarchy, actually being the hotshot in the room, and in doing so being able to reveal the true nature of everyone in the room (choosing to boost everyone’s self esteem) • Understanding that at the most simple level reproduction is powering everything everyone does • That I am not actually being arrogant when I have the thought ‘I can make friends with, attract, and have sex with ANY girl in here’, I can actually CHOOSE. Who else but real alphas and rapey betas feel they can choose who they mate with? Even repa’s can only choose females that they can physically access But yeah anyway I’m on the studio couch at the moment, the piss I accidentally pissed on it is starting to rot or what ever, the smell is strong I got my guitar back the other day, so now I can record that song (I could’ve anyway really couldn’t I?) I am wary not set any limit on bad boi davvy dav to: only be a musician, all mastery is, is being able to use something to sufficiently express yourself, like how you become a slave to a devil as it possesses you, fuckin possess the guitar how to find genuine, down to earth musicians? Be genuine and down to earth This means live true to yourself which means you can express how you feel Also- no fap bitch I’m on like 2days, on probably my 20th try, it’s get hard af once your favourite genre becomes alien porn. As soon as I give myself 5 seconds to observe my mind activity it’s just whirring audio memories like the chorus of happy house, and I know there is invisible video memory overplayed of even my keyboard as I type. I am fearful of getting shit I want because I’m fearful of the emotional discomfort I might experience to get it- 2 years ago I would have said shut the fuck up to myself you are fuelling the problem by believing it is integrated into you. What is YOU? Let go of being just this person, there is nothing you are not, you are the smell of piss I am so insecure ^^^^^^ ‘I’??? You’re believing again... human, be freee imagine if I said ‘you don’t have to give a fuck about David anymore, him, his neighbours, his friends and the global population are gonna live their lives and you get to watch’ Meditate meditate ate meditate meditate meditate meditate meditate one last thing- when you truly express yourself, I bet you’ll find that you’ll get people reacting like ‘oh damn, he just said exactly what I was feeling!’ ‘He understands me’. This is because the greatest illusion of all is true: what everyone believes they are... IS THE EXACT SAME (non)THING!!!! a shitty green Volvo and a nice slick black Volvo are both Volvos literally, when you see people walking down the street, the psychological apparatus you are using to be aware of them is identical to what they are using to look out at the passing Volvos Until tomorrow ??

@Dodo when I say Alien, I mean an unknown entity/ being/ consciousness. Be mindful of what you consider an alien. Some people have fear of the world alien because of cultural background subconscious. And it's real to my experience. What do you call real? It's not real as your grandmother. It's another level of reality. Reality have so many layers, and none of them are totally true . The totality is the truth, not the individual. All I say to you is that it's not creepy. It's so loving and motherly. You don't need to do it. You will get a calling when if you are ready one day, and you can choose your path. There are many paths. There are many teachers. And yes, it did left me. We have a mutual understanding. She/he/it is not there to harm me. She is here to teach, heal and make you remember.

Hey guys, I thought that this might be interesting for ya'll, so I wanted to share my experience from yesterdays involuntary Weed trip. I've never been into Weed as I view it as a distraction, however yesterday a good friend of mine asked if I wanted to chill out in the park and smoke some of his "best stuff". So we did. I took about four hits (no tobacco, approx. 0,15g max.). First thing I noticed was that I instantly relaxed. All the tension in my body just melted off. Quite similar to a mushroom trip. Then the Oregano went off... When looking at the plants in the park my perspective shifted inside out. I literally was that which I was looking at when I looked at it long enough. Not like "focusing on it". It was like "I am everything all at once". It felt like a switch being flipped. My body was just a part of everything. Like something carved out of consciousness. It even felt a little alien. It felt like I was everything that I could sense and my body feelings where just "in the mix". No separation. It could have all been a painted picture. No thing as empty space. No three-dimensionalty. Just all made of the same stuff. And kinda wonky too. And when my friend said something there came a small thought like "Oh, now it would be appropriate to say something... so put on your human hat for a second". That was rather surprising, not even shocking... more like "how could it be otherwise?". Interesting to note is that my breathing stopped completely when I was in this state. To get into it I just had to look at something for 5 seconds and then the switch flipped. I had to remind myself to breathe cause I was worried I might die. Also I was completely still. No movement at all. I think this was because Weed kinda dumbs down the senses and makes everything slower. Quite the opposite to "real" psychedelics but still far from your regular state of consciousness. Another thing I noticed was that I could feel my chakras ALOT. Later that evening I was lying on the couch and thought to myself "Hmm, I haven't done my 2nd meditation of the day... so I might as well do it now.". So I went into meditation just lying there and visualizing my chakras opening one by one. I could feel every single chakra immediately. Might be bc. of Yoga/Meditation but this was very surprising to me. I also learned a bunch. Here are my takeaways: I carry around ALOT of stiffness (walking, talking, being). If I want to be more comfortable with ppl. and have more fun in general it's crucial to get loose. I go hard all week with my practices, yoga, business and dayjob... sometimes it's good to just relax and be in a vegetable state haha. When you want to improve your talking skills get rid of tension in your body. Especially in your jaw and throat (tension is unconscious, relaxation requires consciousness + work on your throat chakra). If you're a little stiff when talking to ppl. RELAX. Get loose. And especially: Lower your standards of what you say out loud. Just talk and amuse yourself. And when it's time to listen and connect, listen and connect. (This was a big one for me as I invest most of my life's energy into work and self actualization. Having fun is important as well haha). My favorite insight: Every single instance of your life is a little adventure and journey. I was sitting with my friend in the metro and it just came to me that we were both just 100% in the moment, not giving a shit, having fun, cracking jokes, talking about life and it just felt magical. Not even because we were together. It would have been the same if I was alone. It would just have been another kind of adventure. I felt like a hobbit from Lord of the Rings lol. Every instance and even the most ordinary moments are magical. Our ego just drowns it out. I realized that this is one of the prime directives in my life: Make life magical again (If anybody got practices for this, let me know!) Material life kinda sucks. I imagined myself having a trophy wife and going to a fancy dinner with another couple. All stiff, glammed up and talking about boring business stuff. Holy lord... this would suck SO bad. You can have so much more fun spending tim in nature, deeply connecting and just being. Be spontaneous. Listen to what your emotions are telling you and then just go with it every once in a while (maybe even all the time, once your intuition is sharp). The power of SOFTNESS: This one sums it up for me. Softness is a much more fun and effortless way of life. As a guy I always unconsciously thought I had to be alpha, stiff and keep my shoulders back and chin up. This is a fucking joke lol. Once I commited to softness I felt literally a shell break in my body. It was about a centimeter below my skin. It was hard and thin and then it broke. After that I was just completely loose. Not resisting. Just myself. We talked to some girls and spent the evening with them and I just felt no pressure at all. We just talked, had fun and enjoyed it. I realized girls don't want that stiff gym rat. They want to be silly. Like kids. Just like a real man So all in all this was quite a journey. The peak was about 40 minutes, then it went down but lasted overall for about 5 hours. I'm still not really a fan of weed. And I will stick to the "good stuff", however don't underestimate it... Hope you enjoyed! - Cheers

@Samra So there was an alien who went inside of you and sort of like possessed you? If I understood correctly. Was that alien only part of your imagination do you think or was it as real as I would say my grandmother is? That sounds creepy as hell. Do you think, if it is a real entity, that it has left your system? Sorry im a newbie in this area.

That's mostly advice for guys. Guys we are not born with sexual abundance like hot women are. A woman who is hot like you, you go out tonight with a pretty little dress on and some make-up and you are going to get fucked by a guy who is atleast 8/10 attractive if you just make it a little bit easy for him. 100% guarantee that will happen. But let's say me, I am not a bad looking guy, and I got some game. But it's in no way a guaranteed that if I want to have sex tonight I will get it. Between 7-14 days from now, yeah I would say it is guaranteed. (Considering I have to go from scratch at this point in time.) But tonight? No way is that guaranteed. It's a very different thing. I think it's hard for both a guy and a girl to really walk in each other's shoes on that point. It's like Alien.

@Xenomorf I am not offended or discouraged at all. I don't quite understand what you mean by managing love or the subtleness of believing in good/bad to the extent that you sacrifice too much. Could you please elaborate? From a dualistic perspective, I do believe that humanity, nature, and earth should continue to grown into a singular organism. Society should begin to function as well as individual living organisms already do. We are the cells forming a more macroscopic organism, we just aren't cooperating as well as the cells of our own bodies. Surely we aren't the only organisms in this Universe on the same path. Maybe organisms grow into infinity both micro and macroscopically. Maybe we'll merge into an even higher organism with an alien organism. I can only dream... haha. I really admire your mission to unify Science and Spirituality. I think science has turned a blind eye to the intuitive side of things. Yin needs Yang and vice versa. Humans usually find some sort of truth before science is able to explain it in any materialistic capacity. I don't have enough experience with nonduelism yet to deeply grasp spirituality. Just some hints of experiences. Yeah, I am a programmer. Actually I am focusing on AI. I want to be part of using it for good and mitigating its dangers, because whether we like it or not, it's already impacting our society. It will be the most powerful tool humans have found. Maybe, eventually, even the new brain for our Earth organism .

@Alien Same. But for me Spirituality is an English-only thing. Contemplating or talking about any of these concepts in German feels just wrong and even kind of silly tbh.

@Nahm Im not looking for a way to enter the Now. Maybe this is not the right discussion board. I can let my "why" go, its not bothering me. Im just having fun with my mind here. Like Leo had in his last episode about context. Where he challanged the context with the fun example of alien life feeding on human emotions. What you are telling me is, that we can never experience or understand why infinity exists, in existence, because the question becomes redundant/can not be as soon as you experience infinity?

Yesterday I smoked weed, like I've done so many times before, but it hit me pretty hard. I started hearing a high frequency noise that sounded very Alien that kept going on in my left ear. When I stood up, I fainted and blacked out on the coffee table but got back up. Then I walked up the stairs into my bedroom and fell on the floor and hit my head and back (I assume pretty hard). All of reality became a blur and I fainted. My housemate got me a glass of water and took care of me. This is where the experience started. First, I experienced an infinite loop that I couldn't get out of. The same image and the same words kept reappearing and all these visuals spawned out of itself, for infinity. I had to deny something. If I didn't deny that particular thing / phrase / sentence, fear would take over my reality. By constantly denying this phrase I could reach the light. It was very difficult for me to deny this phrase, whatever it was, but eventually I denied it so many times I escaped the loop. Slowly my visual field kicked back in but it was different this time. I was sitting on the floor in a meditative position and I had the deep realization that that moment was all there ever was. My whole life as a story was complete BS and all it ever was was me sitting on the floor in that position. Every human ever has only ever sat in that meditative position. I was still in childhood. I FINALLY realized the nature of reality. All it EVER was was that. Time was a complete joke ... the funniest joke I'd ever heard. I said to my housemate that I finally understood the comparison between enlightenment and an orgasm because a few minutes of this were absolutely orgasmic. So, what on EARTH should I make of this?

Man... I guess you're right... I mean most of our medical discoveries, especially plastic surgery, came about because of Nazi Scientists in WWII... I guess I do see the "benefits" we have received from it, but it doesn't stop it from feeling so wrong and alien to me... I hate how many people have to die because of greed and fear of one group getting more "powerful" than us.. It feels like there is so much evil in the world and I know it's only like that because of the access we have to all the information online.. Truth is, I think we are living in the best time, so far. Like what would be the alternative? I'm often mistaken for African American so there isn't really any time in the past that would be too inviting to me lol Man this whole thing has my mind spinning guess I'm just too low on the "Spiral Dynamics" spectrum to see the big picture. It just makes so much more sense to just be indifferent towards each other. We don't have to agree of like what others do or believe, but it's their right to do it, just like it's our right. Plus it takes so much less energy to just not care about our differences. I don't know... Maybe I'm just too naive and idealistic....

yes, times when I am emotionally disturbed the changes are integrated differently I've had times where I barely felt could walk straight, having to get used to how my legs feel and move, at worst I almost felt like a lost wild animal in a city, completely losing my composure and feeling like an alien in the city, standing out when I go through changes, its everything at once, new visuals, new body, new senses, new time, new space,for the most of it this happens comfortably actually , Im in a stream most of time, out of thoughts, but during emotional disturbances it can get different but it always ends well this is literally non-duality, I feel people's bodies and emotions a thousand times more then I felt my emotion and body before I began consciousness work Im literally being other people far more intensely then I was being myself in the past the people that I see now are entirely my own perception, their faces and bodies have evolved in rythm with my consciousness and chakra blooming, the human body feels entirely connected to me I do not have an idea what people looked like 2 months ago, even less 2 years ago before all this, if I were to make an honest comparison from my memory, human beings 2 years ago, you can take a kids 2D drawing of a tree, a drawing about the size of your thumb, and put it next to a gigangic real life tree , this is humans now, this is the comparison,not even exaggerating, unimaginable these are the dimensions in which the human body has changed for me, in terms of liveliness, colours, details, volume, the increase in space is seriously the most mindblowing factor so I know what I see is entirely related to me, and I do not have a clue how other people see the world,and in a week I'll be seeing other things, I legitly feel like im looking beautiful mythical creatures,elves and trolls and aliens yet still human the concept itself of other people is starting to sound very vague, if I were to meet anyone on this forum I know I would have the same feeling as the one I do when I look at the mirror in private if anything this forum might be one of the last places where I do not see myself and I feel like there are "others" out there anyone I see I live them as me, ive long stopped meeting strangers, that illusion stopped somewhere along the way online though I cant see you so I cant live you, its not as simple, this forum is seriously the last place where I can meet so called others lol, honestly, its like the last bastion of earthly human beings for me, out there its just full on dreamscape

Hello ! I have a few and try to keep them simple Yes/No Have your eyes change color from blue to green ? ( Based on observation from older to newer videos ) Have you listened to Black Metal when you were an atheist ? Have you considered the importance of good use of Sacred Geometry in multiple disciplines ? One word answer Horde / Alliance ? What Science Fiction/Fantasy character you empathized with most ? What is alien : thought or material ? Do you think thoughtfully applied Artificial Intelligence will destroy the world or humans will do that job in their blindness ?

the truth of the universe is inside you have never lived outside of it, you have never been outside of it, that is what makes the truth the truth, it is what is regardless of your thoughts, beliefs, world views, concepts, age, whatever it is, it has always been part of the truth when you were taking your first steps as a toddler, the truth is there when you eat ice cream, the truth of the universe is right there with you when you walk outside, going through some thoughts of listening to music, the truth of life is with you when you're with friends or family, sharing a moment, the truth is here when you're on the toilet, peeing, shitting, here is the truth of all things can you look for and find the truth at the end of the universe in a exotic alien civilization?yes at the end of many thoughts and concepts?yes, in your favourite guru? after many mushroom or lsd or dmt trips?yes, yes the truth is everywhere, so it will be there as well the truth is always with you, like your best buddy, perhaps we are unconscious of it, we dont notice it, get to know this friend, that is with you every moment yes, we might not be fully aware of the truth, but its not to be found outside of what we have, no guru or dmt trip can give you whats already there, they could open your eyes more to the fact that its here that you will find truth, still it is up to one to open his or her eyes to what is here the truth of the universe is literally in one of your feelings right now, it is something you know and experience now the truth is very familiar so my advice, when you're out and about in your daily life, take a small moment to recognize and be aware that the truth of the universe is with you right here, right now, it is somewhere here, it might not be felt fully, it might be a small sliver of truth, but it is here, somewhere in this moment, you are feeling the truth of the universe, the connection to all life, to all of creation, the universal beingness somewhere in your feelings, here, now

They aren't a cure-all, but their potential has been waaaay underinvestigated by modern methods. And Leo looks like a Zen devil alien in that picture.

Yeah that was one of the most creepy scenes. Definately a creepy spiritual / evolution / alien / sci-fi movie. It has so many subtle stuff that you may miss and the meaning behind the scenes are vague. This is the kind of movie i would have disliked before I got to know about all the stuff Leo talks about This scene was pretty much spiritual, a fragmented mind: @Quanty Did you notice the subtle things happening with the the ouroboros infinity tattoo?

@metwinn yes i guess so! So Alien is the the other I that you cannot switch roles with it. So the question is, can I switch my role with an existence such as a microbe? I think so. @Preetom Thank you! But i need to contemplate on this more. I want to be skeptical about this. I want to be 100 percent sure, that there is no other type of "I". "The fool who persists in his folly will become wise." World is a mysterious place. You can't find something you are not looking for. @Highest Physical world is not a certainty, but awareness is a certainty? how you know awareness is a certainty? I'd like to know. @Danelius Thanks for the reply. I need to think more about what you say.

There can only be one "I" because consciousness is the substance of everything. Whether you experience an alien, an entity, X dimensions and / or multiverse etc. it shall still be the same. From nothingness to 1, 2 these shall always exist otherwise you'll never be able to communicate between one another. We as people are mere divisions of the whole.

@Samra So by alien I you mean something that has a completely different sense of self?

Oh man. I'm trying, but I'm not very good at explaining. There is only one type of "I" . Even a mosquito is the same "I". Have you ever experienced any other type? No! An alien "I"? And I don't mean alien not from earth. I mean like mother Ayahusaca alien. A completely different entity that you cannot comprehend as your own "I". It doesn't exist. There is only one type of exsistance than I know of.

I have taken 12 grams of dried mushrooms Once. Not really planning to get back to such a dose as it's just not that much more useful than 3-5g well executed trip. Generally the bigger the dose the harder it is to extract lessons from the trip as the mind gets really "unstable". I would say do it if you have built your way up to it with the doses of 2-4-6-8 grams, otherwise the jump might be too big as the experience you get can not be mapped to anything else. Would be the same as trying to read scientific papers in a new language you just picked up one week ago. Trip itself shortly... On 12 grams I felt like some kind of alien intelligence took over my body. I know it sound weird. On higher doses of LSD it still feels like you are in the driving seat if you want to. There is a chance to contemplate, inquire. Mushrooms on the other hand... different beast. Unpredictable, wild. It takes over. It enjoys tripping you. It shows you what it wants you to see.

... After the Shamans sang our songs, I went back to my mattress. I could feel vibrations and the effects of the songs within me. They were working their magic. I started seeing and becoming one with the plant. The plant showed me that my mother is not a human. No ones mother is a human. There is no human. And everything starting going back in time. And everything became one simple plant. He/She said, I am your mother. You are me. Then everything started to go even further into nothingness. And all sensory systems disappeared. I started seeing the original fabric of existence. It was made of two linear lines. Floating and dancing, changing colours, playing with each other. Sometime after that the ceremony ended. I through up right before the last song at the request of the alien within, and it made me feel better. As i walked out of the spaceship, I was blown away by the stars in the night sky. For the fist time in my life, I could see the Milky way. My friend joined me soon after. We picked up bunch of blanket, went on the big porch balcony in pitch black, and slept under the stars for some time. Day 2: In the morning, we all gathered in the same room, cleaning up after our own mess, and cleaning our buckets. We all shared details of our journey to each other and to the Shamans. To my surprise, most people didn't have any visuals. Most people had physical and emotional insights. Some just had a hard night, throwing up violently. That somehow fed my ego. I was proud of myself for seeing so many beautiful things, whilst others didn't. I though to myself ( that's because I am an artist and I have a super creative mind). This ego backlash came to hunt me at night. On this day, I made couple of mistakes in retrospect. I slept in the afternoon, from 1 pm to 5:30 pm. Although the Shamans suggested that, it made me super drowsy. Also I think i ate more than I needed. So by 9 pm, i was still not hungry. I started running around the retreat, trying to burn some energy and feel more alive. Nothing really worked. I went in the ceremony not in a great mood. Like the first night, Ceremony started and everybody had a cup of the medicine. I soon started to feel the effect. However, no visuals. I wanted to see. I needed to see the visuals again i thought to myself. My ego took over, I was in so much control. I was so frustrated at myself. After sometime, the Shamans offered a second drink, no one went for it. So even though i wasn't really feeling high, i didn't go either. An hour later, two guys went for a second cup. It was then that the plant ( or the ego) asked me to for the second cup. I was in doubt, but i heard the voices in me, "i thought you are ready for this. I though you wanted an ego death. I though you wanted to know me. Why are you being a pussy now." So i went in front of the Shaman for the second cup. The Shaman looked me with doubt. But he offered me a little bit. I literally had a sip, half the amount the Shaman offered me. As soon as i got back to my seat, I started seeing visuals again. "Now we are talking!" I though to myself. But the visuals were in pure. They were forced. They were mine, not a gift from the plant. I accepted that and enjoyed my trip anyways. Sometime after that, the ceremony ended, and my trip didn't. I tried throwing up, nothing cam out. I was so dizzy. Everybody left the room. I went to my room to my friend. She had an amazing night. She had cried and felt so much love. And she had seen so many beautiful visuals. I hadn't experienced any of that. Jealousy took over. We went to bed, and my real trip started. I had heard about bad trips before, but i have never really experienced it. I now know what hell is like. I was in so much agony. Physically, emotionally , spiritually. I could see darkness taking over me. My breath became toxic. My blood pressure dropped. I was dying, but not in a nice way. I was fading away and joining the dark forces. Light was gone. And thats when i started getting a lot of insights. I told myself: You have brought this on yourself by being a control freak, you accept the responsibility. Face it all. Face this moment. And i faced all the sadness, hate, suffering. I faced my ugliest form: I am impure. I am weak. I am alone. My parents are dying. War is coming. No one likes me. I have no friends. I have no talent. I am such a mediocre artist. I am a failure. I dont deserve love. I dont know love. I dont deserve a good life. This is all fake. I am so fake. I am such a pity. Nothing matters. No one will save me.... I faced all of myself. I was dying. From inside myself, I called up thousands of Roman soldiers to come to my protection. All these gladiators surrendered me. But a powerful female entity appeared, and melted all the soldiers away. She said there is no escaping this. Face it. So i faced it all. It never got easier. This went on for an eternity. I though i am lost in this madness forever. To be honest, even now, i am still not sure if I totally got out. Sometime past. I was able to get out of the bed. I needed to get the alien out of body. My friend woke up as well. We went to kitchen, and i had gallons of water. Finally something came out. Still feeling dizzy and weak, we went to our room. My friend came to my rescue. She so full of love, lied beside me, gently cresting my hair, telling me it will be alright. I let her go to sleep, and i went back to my own darkness. Around 8 am, I fell sleep. I think i slept for an hour total that night. Around 9 I woke up. Feeling dizzy and weak. But I was reborn. I survived the night of the dark soul. I congratulated myself. Went out of the room. At 10 , we had breakfast and shared our night experience. Most people had a fantastic night. So many insights, so much love. So many beautiful visuals. My night stood out like a swore thumb. I cried and was shaking the whole time describing my experience. Both Shamans looked at me with their wise eyes and smiled. I was so humbled. I am just an old child. Thank you.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/paranormalnow/2018/06/29/an-alien-story-with-reed-summers

Heck, no alien's for me! I have enough trouble figuring humans out.

@Hotaka I don't know. Let's see if you can relate: I always come out of thought into the crown, or third eye. From there I can shift between the two down to the throat and no further. It is stuck at the throat and if I leave it there, it silences the mind. It feels like a blockage, because I cannot move it down below to other areas. It can also be interpreted as an excitement of the throat because of a constant flow downwards. It doesn't seem to be directed towards anything below. As if the capacity of spaciousness of the chest was too great to be filled with this flow. When I let the crown go through the throat, I can simultaneously focus on the breath. With the throat active, as I exhale, I can 'pump' the spaciousness through my spine downward, towards the root (anus?). As i do this, I feel pleasant vibrations throughout the spine. It feels as if the space reached the root and reversed, shooting upwards. I wonder if I can reach the heart this way, or there needs to be a third movement, irrespective of the throat and breath. At the early stages of my meditation practice, I felt two movements of this space that I can relate to now. Both felt as if I was a superconductor for the space. One was like the space shifted through me downwards. It felt as if I was infinitely heavy. Pinned down to the ground. It did not even occur to me to move in this state. It was like I was eternal, like the space itself. My whole body, every inch of it, became aware of the movement down. The other experience was when the space moved upwards. It felt then, as if I was weightless. As if my body didn't exist. This body feels like a gland of the space, yes. It is a way to pump it. It feels as if I was an organ within the cosmic body that influences this space. The cosmic body being me. It is not something other/alien, but me. I can shift from the mind-perspective into the body-perspective that I just described. I have come here by developing the mind-perspective to the point in which it became similar to the spaciousness. This is how it was possible to me to cross the body-mind barrier. This barrier is what I call the identity. Psychology operates on this boundary, where the mind and the body meet. Yes. Everything about me is arbitrary now. The self-story is a matter of choice. It all became an intertwined mess of events with no apparent causality. I don't see auras per se, but I can recognize forms of energy in non-scientific terms. People seem to have problems with funneling some forms of energy into other. Like connection with people into money, or money into understanding. We're too heavily grounded in objective perspective and cannot deal with money properly. It stagnates and builds up. I haven't thought about the space-time correspondence in-depth yet. From the body perspective, everything is here and now. There is no time in this domain. I think that you will find this graph useful:

Ayahusaca Trip report : June 2018 I arrived in Lisbon, Portugal on a Wednesday and met up with my friend who has flown from Canada. We had lots of fun exploring the beautiful city of Lisbon and catching up. Next day, we rented a car and drove three hours to our retreat. We met with all the other super interesting people who were there for the ceremony. There was a total of 12 of us. I had an interview with one of our Shamans. She asked about myself and my intentions, as well as any previous experiences with any drugs or psychedelics and all the other important details. Around 9 pm, we all gathered around in a beautiful glass room called Spaceship for obvious reasons. We had our Purge ceremony. Basically, you drink a horrible Tobacco medicine, and after some time, you drink gallons of water, until you throw up. It is not pleasant, but after you are super clear and you have this amazing sensation. Bunch of us gathered in the backyard, and talked about ourselves and intentions and experiences. I made couple of lovely connections which i will never forget. Next day, we had a very healthy breakfast. No salt, no suger,.... We had an even simpler lunch at 1 pm. Around 3 pm, me, my friend and bunch of other people went to a beautiful beach near by, high above the cliffs. The beauty was mesmerising. I sat on top of the cliffs, and meditated and contemplated for a while. Once we got back to the retreat, I found another glass meditation room and just stayed there by myself, trying not to get tangled up with conversations with other people. Most people were doing the same thing. We were all preparing for our journey. Around 9 pm, everyone gathered in the Spaceship. The Shamans told us were to sit. The had paired people up for based on some sort of logic. The Shamans who are a couple, had a very interesting of singing their Icarus songs. They each sing a different song with a different beat. At first it was very confusing, but soon it made my brain do a funny thing. It would split my consciousness and brain activity in two. I got to love it by the end. After an hour of taking the medicine , I still couldn't really feel anything. People were already throwing up, so I though something must be wrong with me. I was getting frustrated and thought maybe i am not worthy. It was then when the Shamans called for anyone who wants a second cup. Almost everyone got up. I managed to go as well. This was quite surprising to me, since i had a very hard time last year. It seemed that my body and mind have become much more tolerant and stronger. Within minutes of having the second cup, the plant started talking to me. I started shaking and feeling pain all over my body. I felt an alien going through my veins. It was a horrible pain. I realised this must be how a heroin addict must feel like. And I learned compassion. The plant told me if i can't take it, I am allowed to through up. I told he/she I am ready, so Bring it on. Right away, a light burst out of my chest, and I saw a portal opening, and the alien entered my being. It took control. I started seeing a lot of visuals. Beauty, destruction, death, life, horror, pain, fear, love. Everything was visual and sensual. I was in bliss and pain at the same time. I asked her what is my purpose in life? He/she said why don't you become a Shaman? And i said no way. Im not strong enough. And she said fine, then i'll give you an easier purpose. Just draw me. Just paint me. Show people my beauty, and that will alone will bring light. And he/she showed me all her incredible beauty ( which i m already starting to forget) . She also told me that she is not only light, but the opposite as well. And all this dark forces appeared. So powerful and masculine. I was terrified. But she said accept. So i did. There is beauty in horror. He/She has no preference, and so I should learn not to have a preference either. And then I here the Shaman calling my name. I walked in front of him, and my friend was called by the female Shaman. Then they Sang a song specific to each of us at the same time. I was blown away. Sharing this experience with my friend is priceless. To be continued ...