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Why don't I connect with people? 1 Concious step closer Background I dont(and haven't since I was a child) felt connected with friends, relatives, etc. The biggest issue with this is I care deeply about my career, and not having the charisma, or ability to connect with people affect that. People don't trust me, aren't interested in talking to me, and don't help me. I have no idea why. I can feel I don't connect, that I don't relate. Everything he or she cares about, I don't care about. His/her opinions about life do not align with me. She/he sees the world one way, I see it another. The person cant find a common thread to connect with me in, to share a common experience, im different in every way. They feel like they are talking to an alien, someone outside the social norm and this scares them. Its uncanny, something isnt right. They can sniff im being inauthentic, trying to be normal when im not. They hate being in this feeling of uncanny. Am I wasting my time with this person? Is this person safe to talk to? Is talking to someone as uncool as this affecting my social status? They leave at the first instant possible. Having said that, it's not like this with everyone. There are some people out there that are just so joyful, so charismatic, so happy that they can turn the uncanny sensations they feel from me into something comfortable - if they even need to consciously put effort here at all. But this is 1/10 people. Insight What i experienced today was awe striking. I was at a networking event. I was alone, which is quite normal, watching everyone around me having their conversations over beers. There were clusters of people all mingling together. As I was listening to their conversations, suddenly all of the semantic meaning of their speeches just dropped. Instead of listening to their words I listened to the energy that their words were spoken with. I became conscious of their auras, their vibrations. And I saw with my own eyes, that rapport was not being developed by what they were saying, but rather by the orchestration of people's energies/vibrations dancing with each other in a synchrony. Wow all your life you've been brought up with the importance of the words you use and how you use them. Then I just had the experience where the semantic meaning of what people said was not a cause, but a side effect of the interactions of energies between people. Why can't I connect with people? Its not my body expression, it's not my smile or lack of, it's not the way I dress. Its non of that stuff. Its my energy, my presence, my aura. What I say is almost unimportant(surprisingly!). Its literally the energy in the words i say that count. I could say "your dick is quite small but i like you" and if i say it with a strong, present, comfortable presence and energy, they wont feel uncomfortable. If i say "Hi pleasure to meet you" and say it with an anxious energy, they will run a mile. At the end of the day, it doesn't solve my problem because my vibration/energy does not resonate with theirs, but it gives me a deeper appreciation for what is causing me to not connect with people, which is significant for me personally.

Over the past five years I have been diving deeply and consistently into the nature of reality and myself. They're both the same thing. I have had several deep and very profound and indeed life changing nondual and psychedelic experiences at this point. I understand that everything in the totality of existence is all fundamentally and inexorably one. I have traveled to places within consciousness that are beyond the human imagination. I have had my sense of self and eradicated and reformed several times now. Looking into the viewport of infinity is indeed breathtaking beyond all comprehension. You really are absolutely infinite and so beautifully glorious beyond what our bodies and brains are physically evolved to comprehend right now. However there is something within me that is seemingly contently disinterested with phenomenological existence. I do not want to play this game anymore. I feel like no matter what I experience in this life, no matter where I go there will still always be a part of me that is just over the experience of existing as an individuation of consciousness at any level whether it be at a human level, bacterium level or godlike cybernetic alien level it’s all not the absolute truth, just more of this multiversal, multidimensional game of exploratory consciousness. After I live my life and die there is a very strong feeling at the “core” (there is no core) of my consciousness that I never want to reincarnate in any way. While that is an ego driven statement I feel that there is something within myself that this is coming from a place of much deeper much more comprehensive inner standing and understanding of phenomenological existence and it’s alternative merging COMPLETELY into God consciousness so fully that any hope or possibility of incarnation into the realm of form is entirely extinguished. No thought no mind, no form no play, simply infinite incomprehensible nothingness, the purest expression of God. Over the past year a feeling has arisen within myself that wants this life of this specific individuation of consciousness to be the last physical expression that this individuation of consciousness ever experiences. The feeling and sense of relief is what I long for. I long for the ending of all experience by this individuation. The thought of an I experiencing reality no longer is the all encompassing thing that it once was. Now the idea of an I experiencing reality seems so superficial and somewhat shallow in a sense. I enjoy life and its many phenomena but I can so clearly see ( at an increasing rate) the illusion of all of the realm of form. Expression, experience and phenomenological existence go together. And there is such a powerful longing within my energetic composition to just have relief from being, relief from form, relief from experience I feel like I have done this so many times. I feel that I have played this game an infinite number of times. Now there is a tiredness to it all. I am all,every subatomic particle, every atom, every cell, every organism in the multitude of multiverses every object in all of existence. I am the infinite Holon. I am immortal, timeless, and infinite in every way. Yet and still within this body, within this specific individuation of consciousness, within this trans-temporal energetic being I feel a strong urge to never want to return to this place. It matters not what form consciousness takes it all boils down to this. Same shit different form. You are God experiencing itself in every way that there is and isn't. After you have seen into infinity and lived in that place all of the forms become trivial they are no longer something to go after or to awe at when gazed upon. Its all infinite and there are never-ending forms but it all becomes ‘predictable’. You predict the outlandish and the mundane to the point where it becomes all just “meh” at a certain point of being blasted into infinity so many times. Viewing and being the infinite myriad of forms organisms, technologies, energies eventually it reaches a point of simply a pretty existential first person light show. The illusion is seen through and compared to truth the realm of forms and limitation becomes shallow in its substances. The transcendence of survival is a necessary place to come to in this work and an inevitable point. I have not transcended survival and am still subject to it’s whims but there are times ( and they are becoming increasingly more common) where I can get into states of consciousness where in those moments I would be 100% OK with dying. However I am only 22 years old and thus I would like to complete my bucket list before I leave this place and I have so much work to do on myself in this life; and so much more fun to have; and so many more things to explore. I do not hate life I enjoy it and all of it’s beautiful weirdness but it’s illusory nature no longer has the same charm and allure as it had before in my perception. The world of form is BS and while it is truth on a relative level it will never be the absolute truth due to the fact that life is navigating forms, whether they be physical or nonphysical. It is because of this why “I” (at a level beyond ego that is inexplicable to me currently) want out of this game at all levels permanently. You could incarnate into any multitude of alien species, Tryptamine entities, light beings, demigods, lichens, molds, insects, bacterium. While it is all you exploring and experiencing yourself once complete nondual awareness is had this experiencing looses it’s allure. It doesn't matter what form you take anymore. The destination and “point” of it all is the same. Simply put ULTIMATE UNION WITH GOD. This means a complete secession of all types of form and all types of experience, it is the embodiment and paradox of absolute nothingness. Not nonexistence, because God is infinite and thus nonexistence cannot exist; but nothingness in the sense of no longer being an individuation of consciousness bound to form and experience of any and all kind. It is this secession which is the omega point of this creation of this game. According to Buddhism the entirety of the realm of form is suffering in some way. This is Samsara. Nirvana is the release of this and the permanent secession of the individuated conscious experiencing of phenomenological existence. Absolute union with God. No more false boundaries, no more illusions. Just the simple truth. All incarnation is an infinitely intelligent yet amnesiac God exploring to know its infinite self. However there comes a point where for individuations this experiencing of fundamentally illusory forms is no longer necessary for understanding. There is a transcendent something beyond being, beyond phenomena. Phenomenological existence is not the only way that God can know itself. However it is the only way that we can know ourselves. As lifeforms we highly value life to the point of delusion. I have no way to back up what I am about to say here; but life and the totality of phenomenological existence in my experience feels like a preliminary training ground for something else. This place is illusion and with illusion comes pain and suffering in one way or another. At the end of the day all holons of existence especially organisms organisms “want” to be happy, and to know that they are God. I do wonder if there will be a point (Yes I know time does not truly exist) where all individuations of consciousness in the totality of phenomenological existence will realize and embody God consciousness and this section of the game will end. It’s just a thought I have sometimes. I know that God is infinite and thus I am infinite.

How could God not be curious about itself? God is too amazing and too mysterious to not be curious about itself. Imagine if you went to sleep in your bed and then magically woke up the next day on an alien planet. You would naturally be extremely curious to explore it. You wouldn't wake up and be like, "Oh, it's just some alien planet. Boring! I'm going back to sleep." Instead you'd say, "OMG! WTF is this? Let's look around. This is amazing stuff!"

natural, fresh, and whole, is a perspective, to lack something, you need an understanding of lack vs full. whole, vs empty. to see something as big you need to create a duality. between a full cup and an empty cup. from a god perspective, there is no chemical, everything come from "here" and everything is alien. food is alien, whole food is alien, looking at your hand is not physical, if you look at it for like 200 seconds, and don't try to think, you'll MAYBE get the ultimate. Then project this ultimate awareness of your hand, and imagine all "science actuality" is in fact, deeply created by minds, minds of human, that are picking tiny fragment of infinite interpretation of the nothingness. Nothingness that is all the things around you since you're "born". Until you realise ultimately that being born is aswell a thought in the now. there is food bad for some, good for others, and there is almost no way to know for sure what's good, that's the ultimate mindfuck, that's why thinking looks more & more like a tool and not like a toxic need that will help me figure out reality. It could, but for this, I need to be aware that I m handling a tool, that I m and I m not the thought. The most self belief people inflict to themself is believing being this or that, like, I m a black, I m a french, I m a dentist, those sort of things, but in nothingness that is the ultimate reality, there is no such thing, and you'll ever be nothing, just like everyone else. & a carni or vegan diet, both could be healthy or killing you, it will depend, of your personnal reaction. Poison is Cure, the cure is sometimes poison.

I am saying exactly what I am saying. We keep looking for what make us different, we keep getting away from oneness. It is simple. No much to explain. Actually I don't like talking about this subject because once people start separating their sex/mind/body this way, it becomes a complex net hard to get out of, and in general they don't want to get out of it. You keep thinking I don't understand you, and you start being ironic and talking to me like I was stupid. I don't really know your real intention on this thread. I thought you were looking for an answer (or at least for different opinions about) for "is thinking you are the opposite sex unconscious?". And my short answer is: yes. It's like thinking you are a cat or an alien, just because you are not. I carefully measured my words trying to be the most polite and compassive I could. I'm sorry if they can't help you any way. I understand it's not easy to consider different points of view about a thing we are so attached to. If you allow me giving you a piece of advice: keep exercising it with truth deep in your heart. You don't have to defend yourself of anything, you don't have to fight. You only have to sincerely consider. Peace.

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I won't go into details (which is huge. Buddhists have done investigation for 1000s of years) For starters, I will say, he walks and talks like the Buddha. He is calm all the time, and never angry (just an example, it's not confined to this alone) With that logic, you also don't know whether I am an alien or a human and vice versa. This is a problem discussed by Neil de grasse Tyson in a youtube video that I don't remember.

Thank you. I wasn't aware it was a "thing". Yet I think I took it one step further with my alien society, lol.

@Hansu This might lead a way. Just a small exercise while you are exploring this subject: You may do it as long as you want. Go make a list of lets say 20 right and 20 left wing videos or websites. Watch them with complete presence. Try to see what they see. Why it is important to them, why does it make sense to them, what did they see so that particular thing clicked with them, what do they love, what hurts them. What are the healthy chunks, what are the neurotic ones. Do it with depth, sink into them, forget what or who you are, sink into them, be present 100%. You'll notice that these people will become extremely weird, even alien to you. That is the point where you have heard them. And will understand them. It will than be easier or even automatic for you to reflect on the shortcomings of your current political stance. I'd say it is better to move away from it and see it from another point. You cant really see it if you are standing on it. I also think it is better to just see it, than to analyze it. Its based on things people feel deeply about after all, so its a good start. Too much thinking can tie you in a knot It clicked with me, it might with you. Hope it helped.

I like the comment in the video "How would you design a society if you did not know your place within that society?". If someone can truly surrender into this, it is a great frame to reveal personal dynamics. Imagine designing this society. . . be careful, you don't know if you will be a gun advocate or a victim of a mass shooting. You don't know if you are an insecure hyper-masculine male or an LBTQ that has suffered stigmatization and attempted suicides. You don't know if you are a criminal, a victim of crime or a police officer. Whether you are black or white. . . The hard part is fully surrendering one's identity. For example, a privileged white person may say "OK, I can imagine that. . . I don't know what person I will be in the society. I will design a society with "equality and justice for all" that way, whoever I am, I will have equality and justice". Yet what this person doesn't realize is that "equality and justice for all" is going through a privileged white filter. "Equality and Justice for all" will appear very differently through an LGBTQ, female, POC filter. That is the second level of realization. A half step might be image you have to design an alien society of the "paltik", "smethod" and "rifblin" beings. Since we don't identify as "paltik", "smethod" and "rifblin" beings, we would start off without identifying with any of the groups. They all start off equal. The challenge is to maintain this non-bias as we begin to learn more about each group - as we learn about each group, the personal/human tendency is to start identifying with one group. For example, the paltiks may have black hodflets, while the rifblins have white hodflets. This would introduce the first opportunity for identification/bias toward one group.

@kieranperez Hahaha like I said in the video, I’m able to function because of how well all of the experiences are meshed into one singular overall “experience.” The downside is that this makes it virtually impossible to dial in on each piece and accurately distinguish or manipulate it. However, I still feel every sensory perception of every experience (including yours). It’s all in there. Even the experience of what it’s like to be a wall. That experience is nothing like a human experience. I can’t explain it to you because the sensations of a wall are radically alien compared to human sensations. My relationship to Liberation and self-survival isn’t something that I get into with anyone really because it excuses one from self-work. So how do I know this is all true? How can I be sure that this experience isn’t a delusion? The first answer is that this experience is infinitely more tangible than each of the pieces where someone is asking me how I know it’s true Lol So if I cross this experience off the list as “unreal,” I would have to do the same with you. Even calling this an experience isn’t enough. Experiences rely on Awareness but this goes beyond that. An Awareness can be unaware and deceived. But this goes beyond knowing and awareness. It gives me a sense of certainty that knowing can’t.

1. Come up I was laying in bed with an eye mask on, listening to the John Hopkins spotify playlist through headphones. Pretty soon I was tearing up a bit by the music. But after a while I stopped paying attention to the music and instead was confronted by the strange and alien seeming situation that I was in - I was a biological creature needing to drink and eat, a young man laying in bed high on acid listening to classical music, the son of a single parent mother who is in a different country, a brother of two siblings. All of this seemingly obvious observations and facts, suddenly turned into an alien whirlpool of random thoughts that I had no connection to, I could not relate to them anymore. 2. Confusion Suddenly I had no idea why I am in this situation. Why did I take acid? Why am I listening to strange sounding music that I enjoyed just a few minutes ago? Why am I so confused? I had zero context to what I was doing or why. It seemed completely bizarre. I had no ground, nothing I could be sure of, everything seemed alien, even the thought that I am part of a family. It felt like something has slowly showed a crowbar into my mind and then, with a sudden jerky movement clamped it sideways. I tried to get a grip on reality by thinking about my little brother which normally brings about positive, warm associations in me - but not this time, I felt like a cold alien creature. I tried to eat the food that I love most, delicious mango - but it tasted like soap. 3. Psychotic reaction I was confused beyond comprehension. I thought that I must have taken something that was not real AL-LAD, something that fucked up my psyche, because this experience seemed to have no beneficial elements at all. I had no insights, no emotional releases just stupid confusion. It felt unbearable, I was convinced that "I did it this time". I have come to the logical conclusion that I must have taken a substance from a untrustworthy source (even though a tested the substance) and that I am legitimately mad now. At this point I had no hope that things can get better, I accepted that my life is over and that I will be in a madhouse from now on. I knew that I am not able to take responsibility for my own survival anymore and that I should contact a friend who can bring me into a hospital and help to distribute my materialistic possessions to my family members. 4. I called a friend By a miracle I managed to use a smartphone to call a friend to put the responsibility on her to hospitalize me. I was talking completely gibberish which made her laugh. For me it seemed rude that she laughed at my condition but it helped me a lot to hear her voice and to see her face (video chat). After about one hour of total confusion and alienation from everything I began to notice that by talking to her I was slowly regaining my cognitive abilities and after two hours I felt quite normal again and could laugh about it. 5. What was that? I don't know what to make out of this trip. Was the dose too high which caused my ego to snap? This theme of confusion is something that is recurring in some of my trips, this time it was by far the most intense. Some trips are very insightful and healing but sometimes it is just confusion. Do you have any similar experiences?

Because you are hit with such a powerful force you need to be alone to learn to stabilize the energy and balance everything and be the master observer you are out or you will be too Alien for the rest of the world. If you come out prematurely, everyone will think you are insane and crazy and it could backfire if you are not wise enough, no one will understand you nor will you be able to relate much to what's now so small and insignificant to you.

@GromHellScream ? Noted. You’re on my list of selves to dial into. Hopefully it turns out to be you you Lol Ethan’s life is quasi-normal Lol He attends the University of Oklahoma as a Philosophy major and student-athlete (gymnast). He watches YouTube, movies and TV shows in his free time. Sophisticated stuff like Science or History Channel shows but also more crude stuff like Family Guy, American Dad, Rick & Morty etc. He hangs out with some friends and teammates. He’ll drink occasionally at parties but has only gotten black-out drunk once. He usually just shoots for a nice buzz rather than getting drunk Lol That’s about where the normalcy ends... Ethan’s not a virgin but he’s never had a girlfriend. Not because he doesn’t want to, but because other people have a hard time relating to him. Relationships are built on the root word relate for a reason. It’s difficult to build up relationships with people who can’t relate with who you are. The reason that most people are unable to relate to Ethan isn’t because he constantly brings up existential topics. Ethan has tried to act as “normal” as possible around other people but his vibe is so strange and different that they get an immediate sense of something unknown from him. He knows this because he’s asked friends about what sort of vibe he gives off and his own parents have always jokingly called him an alien. Even his friends referred to him as an alien before they ever even heard him talk about existential topics. Nobody says these things with negative connotation. Ethan’s friends and family love him and show him respect but at the same time, they just don’t know what to make of him. But, Ethan is making more and more connections and relating to people on more and more levels to take care of this. There’s deeper strangeness in his life but this post is already long and I don’t want to bog you down with too much here. But feel free to ask me more anytime! I’m always down to get to know people? As for your last question: Yes, some of these other lives are concrete and physical in the same way your life is. Some are lighter and less physical while other are even heavier and more tangible. There’s infinitely many degrees of this tangibility and how real each life can feel

I hope I recall the exercise correctly otherwise I want to first reflect upon my small decision I made yesterday and that I in general feel more happy working and being at the workplace then being at home or in my home town. So I deleted all games again from my laptop and will care more about things that are fun to me that I feel, like reading a bit, journaling, programming etc. So, I can work on these things including the gym and ideally also find a routine that is not 1h long. (The more toxic video games that where I am not consciouess enough...) I also found a psychdelic that "should" still be legal here in Germany through the forum here and a quick search, yet I will postpone all of this because of my bachelors degree. I dont think it is wise or smart to do this when nothing of it is done and I need a week or longer to recover when a normal video can knock me out for 2 days. There will be some video games that I still will be playing since I dont know what else to do with my time here there are no proper hobbies or distractions that I could start such as going to the museum or smth similar. ( And they are more conscious like Divinity 2 Original Sins) So the task was to observe microfears for a week ? Not sure anymore about macrofears. I figure most wont do this, I wrote down my fears in my physical journal and I dont have it with me now so I will write down my macro fears here and will do a quick rewatch of the task. I will write down my macrofears here first from what I can recall and new fears. - Fear of failure - Fear of being ridiculed - Fear of being great - Fear of performance - Fear of looking stupid - Fear of wasps... - Fear of my own power - Fear of my own anger and impulsivness - Fear of darkness - Fear of my illusions - Fear of pain !! - Fear of overcoming obstacles - Fear of death - Fear of life itself - Fear of being inferior - Fear of being incompetent - Fear of being not intelligent - Fear of feeling vulnerable - Fear of being better than others and showing it openly - Fear greater people diminishing me - Fear of feeling small - Fear of not being satisfied - Fear of boredom - Fear of showing up - Fear of being alien to others - Fear of showing my highly compassionate nature - Fear of being a kid - Fear of excitement - Fear of being couragous - Fear of being seen as weird - Fear of being a nerd - Fear of racism - Fear of ethnocentrism - Fear of "pultocracy" or yuppies who do everything to gain status - Fear of modern family lol Microfears: - Fear of getting to know people - Fear of people recognizing me - Fear of social rejection - Fear of talking to people - Fear of being made fun out of - Fear of not getting enough sleep - Fear of not being good enough - Fear of rash decision which are made against me - Fear of the reperucssions of my actions - Fear of women making me feel inferior because I am a minority - Fear of being treated unjustly - Fear of eating unhealthy foods - Fear of eating to much meat - Fear of not eating healthy enough - Fear of not making any progress - Fear of stagnation - Fear of feeling overwhelmed - Fear of not doing enough work - Fear of not having enough fun - Fear of missing out - Fear of not taking action to travel more - Fear of to much safety - Fear of specific people with names - Fear of being seen as to weak - Fear of not persevering - Fear of projection - Fear of being misunderstood - Fear of people liking me - Fear of abusing my power and control over others - Fear of having to much impact - Fear of correcting and critizing others - Fear of causing drama - Fear of drama causing people This is enough the day is not even over and I listed all of this what I feel and felt in general through out the day toady and the years before. How are these microfears related to my identity ? They make me feel identified with the particular pain that I feel and therefore create a body mind concept, meaning, thought, feeling and the sensation itself build the identity, it is constructed in that particular way and by witnessing it it is actively deconstrcuted as well as the debris of the deconstruction shows what has been constructed in the first place. So, how else are they related ? To my behaviour, to me perception of myself, to the people I attract and what I avoid and how I see myself. How are my thoughts shaped by fear ? They are shaped by fear in a way which makes me feel depressed, avoidant, angry, resentfull, bitter, hateful, arrogant, spiteful, complacent, justified, vulnerable, despondent, deeply in pain, tortured, and they shape these feelings, they generate a victim mentallity that wants to sustain itself and when noting it it even hurts sometimes. What am I unwilling to experience ? Pain, uncomfortablness, exctasy, bliss, dying, death, justified hatred, vulnerability, tears of release and joy and pain, emotional freedom. Note: I decided to split up my meditation sessions into two times 30 minutes one time mindfulness and the other time behaviour change meditation and try this structure now, to change behaviour.

@Waken No problem. Let me know if you have any more questions! @traveler There have been times where he’s lost motivation. A lot of feelings like that came up for him throughout the Fall of 2017 (when he was 19). During those months, he was just floating through existence. He didn’t turn nihilistic or violent. He still treated everybody respectfully because he felt them (whichever them they were). However, the lack of motivation, ironically, came from that drive to treat people well and make their lives as good as possible. With this experience of Me, Ethan’s always trying to dial in on more parts of Me and erase the suffering in their lives. However, the reality that I have infinitely many facets to dial into and, as such, have too many for all of them to ever be dialed into came crashing down on him. He always knew that but now it was something he focused on. This is when he felt the emptiness and lack of motivation. No matter how many parts of Me are made blissful - even if it’s infinitely many - there’s always going to be infinitely many more left to work on. Again, Ethan didn’t stop treating people well just because of this lack of direction. In fact, this is what helped him find purpose again. He realized that no matter how he felt, he was always going to be this way. Treating people respectfully was second nature to him and nothing, not even lack of meaning, stopped him. The meaning he chose to follow at that point was to keep playing the role of Ethan and keep maximizing bliss within Myself. I may never fully be blissful, but this never-ending Game of expanding it further and further will always keep me purposeful. So to your question of whether this feels like freedom or an infinite trap, it feels like both. Infinity, by nature, is inescapable. Yet, it’s inescapable because it’s boundless. So from the perspective of its inescapability, it’s a prison. However, the reason for its inescapibility (its Infinity) literally makes it free beyond limits. As for teachers in this plane (like the ones you mentioned but also alien teachers) Ethan doesn’t listen to them to learn anything new. If he does that, he finds himself utterly bored. However, when he listens to them just to immerse in the nature of spirituality and existence (like being immersed in poetry) he finds enjoyment.

Yes, because there is no better place to be. Every life has some pros and cons. But ultimately everything is equal, because everything is One. Being limited human is not worse than being limited alien with 10 dicks and 30 hands . Or being Angel is not better than being Human.

@MuddyBoots And that's the problem. Being "enlightened" is actually being more lost than being unconscious. You'll comprehend that sentence AFTER your 387th insight . The world around you, society, money system, jobs etc are not made for awakened people... I have been searching for happiness, but found Truth instead ...Truth does not mean happiness. Many teachers said Don't confuse Truth for happiness. And I did that very thing and than I was disappointed after. Awakened, but still in limited human form, feels like being an alien in today's world, where 99,999 people around you are unconscious. Helping others may be a Trap. It's a paradox. many times by helping others you are preventing them to learn their lesson from their suffering. Being "healer" is in many cases a trap in my opinion. I need ordinary people to put me back on track being normal human again.

Do you have any experience with that? I get your point, but why not get lost in some other dimensions and talk with alien's. Is like getting lost and chasing girls. I may wanna get lost and learn pickup this year. For no apparent reason just for "me" When i study this i can not be as mindfull , i see that , i start searching for meening. //////////// Anyway is all bullshit, but i will like to have sex tonight. And enjoy my meal. Or Maybe go live in a cave. I understand that that's the base line of still remaining a living organism. The basic stuff. You are right, but we are not supposed to dig into this bullshit?

Perhaps she is an embodiment of the message she brings forward. To go forward, despite fear and doubt. That is the Warriors way. For a sorcerer, reality, or the world we all know, is only a description that has been pounded into you from the moment you were born. The reality of our day-to-day life, then, consists of an endless flow of perceptual interpretations which we have learned to make in common. I am teaching you how to see as opposed to merely looking, and stopping the world is the first step to seeing. The sorcerer's description of the world is perceivable. But our insistence on holding on to our standard version of reality renders us almost deaf and blind to it. When you begin this teaching, there is another reality, that is to say, there is a sorcery description of the world, which you do not know. As a sorcerer and a teacher, I am teaching you that description. What I am doing with you consists, therefore, in setting up that unknown reality by unfolding its description, adding increasingly more complex parts as you go along. In order to arrive at seeing one first has to stop the world. Stopping the world is indeed an appropriate rendition of certain states of awareness in which the reality of everyday life is altered because the flow of interpretation, which ordinarily runs uninterruptedly, has been stopped by a set of circumstances alien to that flow. In this case the set of circumstances alien to our normal flow of interpretations is the sorcery description of the world. The precondition for stopping the world is that one has to be convinced; in other words, one has to learn the new description in a total sense, for the purpose of pitting it against the old one, and in that way break the dogmatic certainty, which we all share, that the validity of our perceptions, or our reality of the world, is not to be questioned. After stopping the world the next step is seeing. By that I mean what could be categorized as responding to the perceptual solicitations of a world outside the description we have learned to call reality. A man goes to knowledge as he goes to war, wide awake, with fear, with respect, and with absolute assurance. Going to knowledge or going to war in any other manner is a mistake, and whoever makes it will live to regret his steps. When a man has fulfilled those four requisites there are no mistakes for which he will have to account; under such conditions his acts lose the blundering quality of a fool's acts. If such a man fails, or suffers a defeat, he will have lost only a battle, and there will be no pitiful regrets over that. * * * A man of knowledge is one who has followed truthfully the hardships of learning, a man who has, without rushing or without faltering, gone as far as he can in unravelling the secrets of power and knowledge. To become a man of knowledge one must challenge and defeat his four natural enemies. When a man starts to learn, he is never clear about his objectives. His purpose is faulty; his intent is vague. He hopes for rewards that will never materialize for he knows nothing of the hardships of learning. He slowly begins to learn--bit by bit at first, then in big chunks. And his thoughts soon clash. What he learns is never what he pictured, or imagined, and so he begins to be afraid. Learning is never what one expects. Every step of learning is a new task, and the fear the man is experiencing begins to mount mercilessly, unyieldingly. His purpose becomes a battlefield. And thus he has stumbled upon the first of his natural enemies: fear! A terrible enemy--treacherous, and difficult to overcome. It remains concealed at every turn of the way, prowling, waiting. And if the man, terrified in its presence, runs away, his enemy will have put an end to his quest and he will never learn. He will never become a man of knowledge. He will perhaps be a bully, or a harmless, scared man; at any rate, he will be a defeated man. His first enemy will have put an end to his cravings. It is not possible for a man to abandon himself to fear for years, then finally conquer it. If he gives in to fear he will never conquer it, because he will shy away from learning and never try again. But if he tries to learn for years in the midst of his fear, he will eventually conquer it because he will never have really abandoned himself to it. Therefore he must not run away. He must defy his fear, and in spite of it he must take the next step in learning, and the next, and the next. He must be fully afraid, and yet he must not stop. That is the rule! And a moment will come when his first enemy retreats. The man begins to feel sure of himself. His intent becomes stronger. Learning is no longer a terrifying task. When this joyful moment comes, the man can say without hesitation that he has defeated his first natural enemy. It happens little by little, and yet the fear is vanquished suddenly and fast. Once a man has vanquished fear, he is free from it for the rest of his life because, instead of fear, he has acquired clarity--a clarity of mind which erases fear. By then a man knows his desires; he knows how to satisfy those desires. He can anticipate the new steps of learning and a sharp clarity surrounds everything. The man feels that nothing is concealed. And thus he has encountered his second enemy: Clarity! That clarity of mind, which is so hard to obtain, dispels fear, but also blinds. It forces the man never to doubt himself. It gives him the assurance he can do anything he pleases, for he sees clearly into everything. And he is courageous because he is clear, and he stops at nothing because he is clear. But all that is a mistake; it is like something incomplete. If the man yields to this make-believe power, he has succumbed to his second enemy and will be patient when he should rush. And he will fumble with learning until he winds up incapable of learning anything more. His second enemy has just stopped him cold from trying to become a man of knowledge. Instead, the man may turn into a buoyant warrior, or a clown. Yet the clarity for which he has paid so dearly will never change to darkness and fear again. He will be clear as long as he lives, but he will no longer learn, or yearn for, anything. He must do what he did with fear: he must defy his clarity and use it only to see, and wait patiently and measure carefully before taking new steps; he must think, above all, that his clarity is almost a mistake. And a moment will come when he will understand that his clarity was only a point before his eyes. And thus he will have overcome his second enemy, and will arrive at a position where nothing can harm him anymore. This will not be a mistake. It will not be only a point before his eyes. It will be true power. He will know at this point that the power he has been pursuing for so long is finally his. He can do with it whatever he pleases. His ally is at his command. His wish is the rule. He sees all that is around him. But he has also come across his third enemy: Power! Power is the strongest of all enemies. And naturally the easiest thing to do is to give in; after all, the man is truly invincible. He commands; he begins by taking calculated risks, and ends in making rules, because he is a master. A man at this stage hardly notices his third enemy closing in on him. And suddenly, without knowing, he will certainly have lost the battle. His enemy will have turned him into a cruel, capricious man, but he will never lose his clarity or his power. A man who is defeated by power dies without really knowing how to handle it. Power is only a burden upon his fate. Such a man has no command over himself, and cannot tell when or how to use his power. Once one of these enemies overpowers a man there is nothing he can do. It is not possible, for instance, that a man who is defeated by power may see his error and mend his ways. Once a man gives in he is through. If, however, he is temporarily blinded by power, and then refuses it, his battle is still on. That means he is still trying to become a man of knowledge. A man is defeated only when he no longer tries, and abandons himself. He has to come to realize that the power he has seemingly conquered is in reality never his. He must keep himself in line at all times, handling carefully and faithfully all that he has learned. If he can see that clarity and power, without his control over himself, are worse than mistakes, he will reach a point where everything is held in check. He will know then when and how to use his power. And thus he will have defeated his third enemy. The man will be, by then, at the end of his journey of learning, and almost without warning he will come upon the last of his enemies: Old age! This enemy is the cruelest of all, the one he won't be able to defeat completely, but only fight away. This is the time when a man has no more fears, no more impatient clarity of mind--a time when all his power is in check, but also the time when he has an unyielding desire to rest. If he gives in totally to his desire to lie down and forget, if he soothes himself in tiredness, he will have lost his last round, and his enemy will cut him down into a feeble old creature. His desire to retreat will overrule all his clarity, his power, and his knowledge. But if the man sloughs off his tiredness, and lives his fate though, he can then be called a man of knowledge, if only for the brief moment when he succeeds in fighting off his last, invincible enemy. That moment of clarity, power, and knowledge is enough. Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition. I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. This question is one that only a very old man asks. Does this path have a heart? All paths are the same: they lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own life I could say I have traversed long long paths, but I am not anywhere. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn't. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you. Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him. At that point very few men can stop to deliberate, and leave the path. A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it. I have told you that to choose a path you must be free from fear and ambition. The desire to learn is not ambition. It is our lot as men to want to know. The path without a heart will turn against men and destroy them. It does not take much to die, and to seek death is to seek nothing. For me there is only the traveling on the paths that have a heart, on any path that may have a heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge for me is to traverse its full length. And there I travel--looking, looking, breathlessly. From: http://www.prismagems.com/castaneda/donjuan1.html That is why this woman gets it. It's not just about the men.

@howdoistopobsessing I think I understand you immensely. The confusion, the indecision, the uncertainty, the fear, the paralysis, the stagnation. Not knowing which path is right, not wanting to commit down the wrong path, the differing of perspectives, contrasting sources saying to do various things. The fears on reality being sasdistic, god being an alien, enlightenment being wrong. I also thought I was the only one. There is a solution however. Regarding the confusion --> journal, research, comtemplate, post to these forums (what you are doing now), etc. Also it seems as if there is the issue of fearing that god is limiting you and also the issue of being afraid of negative consequences of a path and indecision.. For the issue of god limiting you After researching/learning/trying to understand, the next thing is just testing these fears to see if they are true For the issue on indecision I recommend watching Leo's video on "How to deal with confusion" I also recommend taking action regardless of these fears The only thing you can do is take action based on what you know is the best path at the moment, there is no way to know the perfect path right now Know for every practice, even meditation, even self-inquiry, even exercise there will be people who claim it is bad/negative, you just have to use your best judgement to choose whether you are going to do it or not. But don't let your ego trick you into inaction do something Regarding the Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Ji of Art of Living meditation in person, it is rare to have some profound effects after meditating for a short period. I recommend tomorrow you start 1-3 practices. It can be meditation, wim hof method, approaching females, etc. It can be from the list at the bottom of this link https://www.actualized.org/start. Determine to do these practices for a month (or less if that seems daunting) and see if anything improves (Spoiler alert: It will)

Co Author of CHANCE and CHOICE explains in a concise article the Gurdjieff idea of our multiplicity. The Problem of the Subtle Sybil Effect By: R.C.L. The underlying reason the big questions are so difficult to answer is ultimately personal ñ we are swamped in a plethora of identities, most of them false. These false personas were imposed upon us from the outside by society and from the inside by our own muddled thinking. For most of us there is no single unified self, no uniform field of continuous consciousness. Our "common sense" notion to the contrary, that we are one person with a singular identity, is based on a false assumption. In the words of psychologist Charles Tart, Ph.D.: We just assume that a given person is relatively consistent with himself, that he constitutes one person with various characteristics, traits, and so on. Thus you call yourself by one name, with the implication that you are indeed one person even though you have a range of moods and feelings. .... we actually have many quite discrete subpersonalities, each of which calls itself "I" when it happens to be activated by appropriate environmental stimuli, but we have no unity of personality at all except in the sense that all the various subpersonalities are associated with the same physical body and name. (1) As Professor Tart and many others have found, by the time we become adults our identity is disjointed, fragmented, perhaps even fractal, like a "Julia Set."(2) We have one series of identities and personalities inherited from our parents, fashioned to meet their expectations, or to rebel against them. There is another series of personalities acquired in the course of schooling, another while dating, another at work, another in a sport or hobby, etc. Close observation of yourself will reveal that you are different people at different times. There is precious little continuity between your different states of consciousness. When you are one person one moment, you have usually forgotten that you were a completely different person a few moments before, and will be yet another person later. You are consumed by the personality of the moment. The personalities are isolated from each other by barriers of unawareness. There are defenses or buffers between the many "I's". There is no underlying actor to play the part. No one who remembers and coordinates all of the roles. It's as if a series of different people - acquaintances, not friends - took turns inhabiting the same body. We are one person when we first wake up, another person to our children, another to our spouse, another to our boss, etc. One "I" may make a promise, but the next "I" will not remember to keep it, or will not want to keep it. We live in a chaotic world where an endless series of things happen to us that do not fit together, do not make sense. Many important things seem to be the result of chance or luck. There is no conscious being there to see the "big picture" so that it can all make sense. There is no center, no empty hub uniting the many spokes of the wheel, the many fragments of self. The conscious states alternate unconnected by inner silence. It is like hearing foreign words or sentences without any underlying comprehension. The underlying being who comprehends and integrates is unconscious. The actor is asleep. The play goes on mechanically, uncomprehendingly. For such a one the "scientists" are correct, man is a machine and enlightenment is impossible, or merely a delusion, another fleeting role. Since most everyone suffers from weakly-connected consciousness, this appears to be natural and normal. We only recognize it as a problem in its most extreme forms, where there is total and complete disconnection of the different parts of the self. These are the cases where the different people inhabiting the body are complete strangers to each other. This is the pathological disorder of multiple personalities made famous by the case of Sybil.(3) Sybil Dorsett was a woman with sixteen separate personalities. At first none of them knew or remembered any of the others. For instance, one personality named Victoria Antoinette Scharleau was a self-assured, sophisticated, attractive blond, and another named Mike Dorsett thought she was male, a builder and carpenter. With multiple personality disorders it is not uncommon for the shy personality to be shocked to wake up naked in bed with a man the sexy personality met the night before. One personality shifts with another and there is no recollection of the prior person. There is a complete discontinuity of consciousness. This kind of multiple personality disorder is often caused by extreme negative events as a child. In Sybil's case, she was tortured and sexually abused as a young girl. This caused her to break up, literally, because she could not bear the extreme abuse she was subjected to. Through years of therapy Sybil was able to confront the memories and eventually integrate the separate personalities into one. She became a whole person. INTEGRATION OF CONSCIOUSNESS Personality dissociation in its extreme form is obviously a problem which must be corrected. But the less severe manifestations - the "subtle Sybil" effect, wherein we are disconnected to a certain degree - is a problem unknown to most people. Psychology is just beginning to recognize this as a root problem which underlies many others.(4) Most people do not know they are shattered. They treat themselves and others as if they were one person, already fully integrated and whole. In fact, most people are just integrated enough to function in society. They are not solid enough to answer the big questions for themselves, to make sense of their lives, and know who they are and what they can do. If we stop to think about the discontinuity - the differences in our moods and personalities - we just assume it is natural and of no importance. For instance, who can constantly recall their dream selves, or who they were in deep sleep - unconsciousness? We accept the barriers between our waking and sleeping selves as natural, inevitable, just like the barriers between our left and right brains. We fail to recognize the significance of the basic discontinuity between waking and sleep. Even the lack of continuity in waking consciousness - which occurs to everyone in the course of a day, or even a few minutes - is accepted as natural. We are sad one minute, then the next we are happy, in the next reflective, in the next absorbed in music, in the next answering the phone. When we are with some people we have a submissive personality, with others a dominant persona comes out. Is there a conscious being underlying all of these different states of consciousness? Is there a center unifying the multiple personalities? For almost everyone the answer is no. Their consciousness is not fully integrated, and they do not even see this as a problem. How is the actor to awake? Recognition that "integration" of multiple selves is a problem is the critical first step in the solution. It is also the first step to answering the question of who you are. Only you can discover who you are, no one can do it for you. The discovery comes from observation of yourselves - all of them - and then integration into a conscious whole. This requires bridging the great divide between the waking self and the sleeping self. The corpus callosum dividing the left and right brains must be transformed from a wall into a highway. Then you can start to understand who you are, and begin to integrate all of the many snapshots of your life into a flowing movie. Until you attain this continuity, your true identity will elude you. The meaning of life will remain an enigma wrapped in a mystery. Your true desires, your real potential, will remain hidden between the intervals of your many selves. You will be incomplete, asleep. One reason most of us fail to notice the lack of continuity is that one or two personalities - and the states of consciousness that go with them - tend to dominate the other weaker personalities and their consciousness. They hide the gaps, cover up the problem. Frequently the dominant personalities are imposed upon us from the outside. The strong alien personalities - the dominant consciousness states - frequently overpower and sublimate the other parts of our self, the other states of consciousness we experience. The weaker states are then forced into subconsciousness or unconsciousness. They are forgotten, disassociated from the conscious identity. One or two of the many personalities act in place of our overall Self. We do not know the plethora of possible personalities, unified and integrated in one being. We do not experience a healthy variety of conscious states. As a result our potential is artificially limited. We experience only a small slice of life. We see the rest as if through a glass darkly. Consciousness of the other parts of our self eventually becomes forbidden. They are not even recognized when experienced. If they are consciously experienced, they are promptly forgotten. They become "altered" states of conscious, momentary lapses of character. This dissociation and imbalanced dominance of one personality and consciousness over all others - a kind of psychological cancer - frequently leads to illnesses, psychological complexes and neurosis. The underlying being aware of the many sides of self is asleep, relegated to the unconscious. The strong role has taken over the actor and prevents him from waking. For most people the dominant personality is not even their own. It is a false personality imposed on them from their parents, friends, job or society. The false personality is a muddled thinker, with no connection to the other innate capacities of the whole being. The false persona is not linked with the true Self, it is not naturally a part of the underlying being. It is instead linked to the cultural consensus, the mass hypnosis and pseudo-thinking. If the actor should awaken he would not play that role, he would not accept that thought. People dominated by false personalities are usually weak, with little energy or vitality. Usually, only personality which is in connection with a person's potential - their true inner Self - can vitalize and naturally make room for the whole Self. Only a real persona can accept and try to integrate "altered states". The false, unconnected personalities only block energy. They act as a negative mask to hide true potential, instead of expressing it. The recognition and dropping of such lifeless personalities is the first step in discovering who you really are. It is the first step in "waking up". As you wake up you begin a conscious journey to realization of your full potential. There are many ways to wake up, many procedures. You need to find a procedure which is good for you. In that way you can move beyond legal study into the actual "practice of the Law." With an effective method, and adequate teachers and counselors, you may be lucky enough to wake up. You may be able to tap your inner essence and develop a true personality. That is just the beginning, however, not the end. At first, there are many dangers. You can still be dominated by the first real aspect of your self that wakes up. The first strong fragment personality to awaken may try to block the awakening of the rest. Still, it is easier to awaken to the full dynamics of yourself from out of a true personality than a false one. The actor once stirred may awaken. Once awakened, the road to self actualization may be traveled. Another danger that remains after the journey has begun arises from cultural restraints and muddled thinking. This can cause you to awaken only certain socially-acceptable sides of yourself and repress the rest. You may be afraid of parts of yourself or be prejudiced against them. For instance, you may have been taught as a child that sex was bad and so refuse to awaken that part of your human nature. If the real and awakened personas don't know any better, the phony censor persona may continue to have real power. Objective, holistic thinking is the answer. It can counteract the censor, the cultural restraints and inherited beliefs. Once your real personas are taught to think straight, they will see through the muddled thinking inherited from the past. Unlike the false personalities, the real personalities have the power and courage to act on their thinking. They can transcend the hindrances of the past. Armed with true thinking, they can overcome the cultural censor, and liberate all parts of your human potential. THE CASE OF CHARLES T. TART v. NORMAL CONSCIOUSNESS Professor Charles Tart is an American scientist and academic who has thought deeply about these topics. More importantly, he has taken action and tried hard to clarify and solidify his own consciousness, to take it out of what he refers to as the "cultural consensual trance" of so called normal consciousness. His careful scientific research has shown that what passes for normal or average consciousness is just one possible form of consciousness among many. He found that normal consciousness is actually quite limited, subject to many artificial constraints and disruptions. Professor Tart is one of the pioneering scientists in the new fields of altered states of consciousness, hypnosis, cultural consensus trance, multiple personalities, transpersonal psychology, being and the procedures or technology of "waking up". Born in 1937, the son of a musician, Charles Tart grew up as a Lutheran with deep religious convictions and intellectual interests. As a precocious teenager his eyes opened to science. A strong conflict then developed in his soul between the differing world views of science and religion. The resolution of this conflict has proven to be the driving force of his life. As a teenager looking at the hypocrisy he saw in religion, and the strength and elegance of science, he went head-strong into the modern scientific world. He became particularly fascinated with electronics, earning a first-class radio telephone license while still in high school. He also began to read widely in the field of psychic research or parapsychology. In this one field of science he found some kind of a link between his new found love for science and his earlier, deeper thirst for spirituality. In 1955 he was admitted to the premiere engineering school in the country, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Then he ran into calculus and his enthusiasm for engineering began to flounder. At the same time his high school interest in parapsychology blossomed. He started a psychic research club at MIT and connected with the dynamic cultural life of Cambridge. He then had an opportunity to meet many of the leading psychics and parapsychologists of that time. When he discovered that you could actually make a living at psychology, he decided to change career tracks. His ideal was to try to apply the methods of science to the general field of religion. He wanted to use science to start separating out the superstitions and nonsense in religion from the core of important truth. That ideal fired him then and has remained as one of the main guiding principles of his life. His opportunity to change came from famed parapsychology scientist Dr. Rhine, who helped Charles transfer to Duke University in 1957 to major in psychology. In the parapsychology labs at Duke he met Judy Bamberger, the girl who would later become his wife. A few years later at age 22 in these same labs Charley became the "first American psychedelic guinea pig", taking mescaline for the sake of science. It all came about quite by accident. Dr. Ivo Kohler, a Professor from the University of Vienna, was one of the first scientists in the world to experiment with psychedelic drugs. He began experiments with mescaline in Vienna, Austria in the nineteen thirties. These experiments were unknown in the United States. Professor Kohler was visiting the Duke parapsychology laboratories and there started talking to a young graduate student named Charley Tart. Charley had read Aldous Huxley's book on taking mescaline, The Doors of Perception and was curious about Dr. Kohler's experiments. The Professor mentioned that although he had tested many subjects from all nations in Europe, he had never seen any experiments with an American. Professor Kohler was curious to see if an American would have any different psychological reactions than Europeans. Charley bravely volunteered to be the first American test subject. In 1959 psychedelic drugs were almost totally unheard of (these substances were not outlawed until the mid nineteen sixties) and the good Professor happened to be traveling with a large quantity of chemically pure mescaline sulfate. After some preparation Charley was given a large dose of the mescaline which he says tasted like vomit. He sat with Professor Kohler for two or three hours and nothing happened. The Professor was beginning to think that Americans were indeed quite different. They were ready to call it quits, but as one last try, Charley took still more of the drug. That put him over the edge and all at once his psychological resistance to the drug broke down. A few moments later he went directly into the peak of a psychedelic experience. His consciousness expanded tremendously and he had a deep and profound experience which totally changed his life. Professor Kohler found that Americans were just like Europeans. A small step for science, but a giant leap for Charley Tart. A few years later while a graduate student at the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill, Charles again had an opportunity to participate in one of the first scientific experiments with LSD and psilocybin. A private foundation began funding a series of experiments with psychedelic drugs. Naturally enough he volunteered for many of the tests. Again he had deep and profound experiences with artificially induced altered states of consciousness. The conflict in his soul between science and religion was bridged in these scientific experiments. This proved to be the guiding light for his later scientific work, where he became the unquestioned leader in the scientific exploration of spiritual experiences. Only years later did Professor Tart learn that he had the CIA to thank for all of the LSD he ingested in those experiments. In the early nineteen sixties the CIA had set up dummy foundations to secretly fund research into psychedelic drugs. They wanted to know if there was any military potential to these strange new psychological drugs. They found the drugs were powerful, and potentially dangerous, but the experience of God was found to have no military value. Although not all unwitting government guinea pigs were as fortunate as Charles Tart, he, at least, was eternally grateful to the CIA. In 1963 Charles Tart received his Ph.D. degree from Chapel Hill. His special interests then were research into personalities, dreams and hypnosis. Dr. Tart was virtually alone in these fields at the time. His work has pioneered what has since become known as the study of altered states of consciousness, consciousness other than the average consensus trance. By 1969 Charles Tart edited what was to became a landmark book in consciousness research Altered States of Consciousness. This was the first publication to bring together scientific research on dreaming, hypnosis, meditation, yoga, psychedelics and other expanded states of consciousness. He has since written many other books, including: Open Mind, Discriminating Mind (1989); Waking Up: Overcoming the Obstacles to Human Potential (1986); States of Consciousness (1975); Transpersonal Psychologies (1975) (1990). When not writing books and researching into these fields, Professor Tart has been a teacher of Psychology at the University of California in Davis for over thirty years. Tart transcends the narrow confines of academia and science, and uses the scientific methods and independent thinking to tackle the really big questions. In the process of formulating his own answers, he has gathered information which helps us realize that "discontinuity of consciousness" is the essential threshold problem. The problem must be addressed - we must "self remember" and wake up from out of the cultural consensual trance - before we can ever know ourselves and find the answers within. One of the basic procedures he employs is called "self remembering" or "self observation". It is a process where you impartially and dispassionately observe the false personalities in action. His quest for answers necessarily led him beyond the confines of academia and science into the martial arts, where he now holds a black belt in Aikido. It also led him into the world of esoteric spiritual philosophies and psychologies, exemplified by the work of the great Russian mystic and philosopher, G. I. Gurdjieff.(5) It was Gurdjieff who first brought the "self remembrance" procedures to the West. Charles Tart discovered that there is a basic resistance in our culture to self observation. We tend to equate self observation with judgmental self criticism, with feelings of inadequacy, punishment, shame and guilt. To be effective, self remembrance procedures should be devoid of all judgments and criticism. It should be a neutral process of objective, detached observation. This requires tremendous commitment and honesty. In self observation you essentially try to observe yourself and your world, no matter what it is, good or bad, ugly or beautiful, happy or sad. You don't just observe yourself only when you happen to be doing something you like, or in order to support something you already believe in. You try to observe yourself in your world to see what really is. To convey the kind of commitment required to remember to observe yourself in all situations, Tart likes to quote a famous American spiritual leader of sorts, Patrick Henry: Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom. Tart found from his own experience and from working with hundreds of others, that if you aren't vigilant about yourself - with a commitment to knowing reality as it is - you build up fantasies. You forget yourself, like the actor asleep. You live instead in what he calls "consensus trance". You are lost in fantasies widely shared in the culture. Tart's research has shown that although everyone thinks they are normal, they are actually seriously cut off from the world around them. As a result people do a lot of stupid things. Observing the great difficulty of the self observation process, especially at first, Tart emphasizes the importance of personal training and group work to begin to use this procedure effectively. But once the skill is learned, Tart and others have found that it is a powerful tool to awaken the actor. With it you can begin to integrate the many roles - the many personalities - into a play where life has meaning. The actions of the moment then begin to make sense by relation to the overall drama. The actor begins to know herself, to know the myth of her life, the plot and potential destiny, and then to write her own script. Without such an awakening the actor meanders aimlessly through life. They keep repeating a few lines, a few roles, over and over, never realizing their full potential. Tart found that self observation can awaken us from consensus trance. It allows us to get a much wider idea of who we are, and to dare to fulfill potentials and dreams we never even knew we had. This is because the consensus trance into which we were hypnotized as a child significantly narrows our human potentials. We could be so many things, but society tries to fit people into preconceived molds. Our self-concept gets narrow, squeezed and tight. Tart likes to quote Gurdjieff's observation that a lot of people you see walking around in the street are dead. They have been so squeezed in terms of their inner psychological self, that it is all habit and conditioning, and the essence - the vitality - is dead. Tart was first exposed to Gurdjieff's ideas in 1966 and his ideas and spiritual practices of self observation have had a continuing influence on him ever since. Tart says that he still uses Gurdjieff's "trying to remember yourself in everyday life" as his principle spiritual practice today, even though he is no longer involved with Gurdjieff groups. In my interview with Charles Tart in late 1993, he described in some detail the process of how as young children we are entranced into the local cultural consensus in which we were born: When we are born each of us has the potential to be a human being which means thousands and thousands of things which could be developed. But each one of us is born into a particular culture, and a culture is a group of people who know about certain human potentials which they think are good and they cultivate them. They draw them out of people and reinforce them in people. So when a little baby looks at its mother and its starting to make sounds like "ma ma ma," people smile and encourage the baby. A given culture knows about other potentials which they consider animal or evil or something like that, and they actively discourage them. So if the same little baby looks at its mother and starts to go "shi shi shit", he doesn't get encouraged, and that kind of thing. Any particular culture is also ignorant of all sorts of human potentials and they don't draw them out of people simply by neglect. They have no idea its even possible. In order to survive you have to fit into your culture. The adults who only want a certain set of potentials developed keep pressing on you, drawing those out and discouraging the ones they don't like. In a very real sense, the "essence" of what we are when we are born, to use a Gurdjieff term, gets shaped and shaped and shaped and eventually evolves into what Gurdjieff called "false personality." That means as part of defending yourself against the pressure of adults you come to adopt their way of thinking. A baby can't really say, "Gee, I've been born into a weird tribe this time, here's how I'll have to act in order to get by, but I don't believe a word of it." The baby is pretty helpless, absolutely dependent upon the giants, the gods and goddesses, for its survival. So the baby and the child internalize these things, they start thinking like the culture expects people to think. To the extent they don't, they feel guilty about it and hide it. We develop what I call "consensus consciousness" to reflect the fact that our so-called ordinary state of consciousness, or "normal consciousness" (which is a culturally-relative term of course) means we have actually constructed the habits of our thinking and feeling and perceiving to reflect the consensus of what our culture thinks is important and good. It is an altered state of consciousness in the sense that it is not natural. Our ordinary state is not simply the way consciousness is, it's a semi arbitrary construction, so that you fit in as normal, bound by the rules of your particular group. When I talk about this in a neutral way, and want to use this information scientifically, I use the term "consensus consciousness." But when I want to emphasize the cost of this process, that there is a lot of important stuff left out, then I say "consensus trance." I am using "trance" in the negative sense of the word: a state of less animation, being controlled by others and what not. I also asked Professor Tart what methods he had found work best to allow people to overcome their natural resistances to self observation, and enable them to awaken from the consensus trance. His answer expounded upon the theme developed by Gurdjieff as "intentional suffering." There are lots of ways [around the resistance to self observation]. Most of them depend on suffering. When things are going well, you don't tend to question the structure you're locked into. When things start going badly, usually we blame somebody else: "Its those damn republicrats in Washington." But when you get a little more mature, people begin to realize that "maybe I bring something to my suffering, just maybe its not all the fault of the outside world, but that I contribute something to it." When people are ready to work with their suffering like that, when they are ready to look at it more closely and see how they are creating some of it, then you have an opening for people to learn things. The suffering can motivate people to observe themselves, to take mental snap shots of themselves, and try to figure out what is going on wrong, what internally is producing the suffering. In self observation you will undoubtedly see many habits, attitudes and other things about yourself that you do not like. From an attitude of intentional suffering and responsibility, these insights into your mental machinery provide you with the opportunity to change, to escape from your suffering. As Tart says, we create a lot of our suffering quite uselessly. Suffering motivates you to change, to escape from the mental conditioning and false thinking which keeps you entranced, keeps you in needless suffering. Suffering thus opens up the possibility of real change. Charles Tart also speaks of another major way of escape from the culture trance, the method of "altered states of consciousness". If you think of your ordinary state of consciousness This article is from http://www.lawsofwisdom.com/course-overview/opening-statement/the-problem-of-the-subtle-sybil-effect/

@Zigzag Idiot I can feel it in my heart too what would you think and feel about humans as an alien? a spiritually advanced alien who encounters planet earth and its inhabitants for the first time?

a vision: I am an alien, encountering earth and humans for the first time what the hell are these creatures doing? no judgement here, this concept is foreign to me. just observing, sheer curiosity. I accept all parts of reality. for me, there is no good and no bad, only Good. everything just IS. these humans seem deeply engulfed in self constructed prisons. actual prisons: money, work, survival, rat-race, confrontations, wars, debates. they all stem from mental prisons, which in time materialized and have now become actual barriers and threats to them strange way to live life they have. caught in small little constellations of something they call "family", where they effectively pass on all their barriers and beliefs to their offspring. all divided in small little bubbles. sometimes they gather in bigger bubbles. those bubbles fight and debate. but what do they actually know? in the most developed societies beliefs are based on something they call "science". in less developed ones, they foliow "truths" provided from something like "religion" they mistake the relative for the absolute they actually think money and value/worth is a thing their perception is limited and caught in survival and reproduction. sometimes this is clothed in wealth and something they call "career" their ability to love is limited to humans inside their little bubbles. the smaller the bubble, the more they love or are attached. the bigger the bubble, the more shallow becomes the love. it eventually turns into hate for distant and contradictory bubbles they fight over opinions and possession. what is actually possession? strange things they invent. interesting those humans. I see big potential, but little actualization of that. millions of seeds, almost no full grown trees.

I did People have to understand that 5-MeO breakthrough have very little in common with the persistent state of no-self, non-duality like Eckhart Tolle is in. It has more in common with temporary states you can get in with advanced Samatha/Vipassana concentration practice. As for my experience, DPT and 5-MeO feel much more solipsistic, alien and energetic than what persistent states of non-duality are like. Also, I'm not able to function on higher doses.