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  1. @QandC I experience being alien to this world. Everything feels weird and new. A great sense of wonder arises. I feel disidentified with everything, like I'm a newborn, like how could any of this be possible?! How could I be here?! And how did things get to this?! It feels weird to have thoughts. The mind becomes spontaneously still, yet the sense of wonder remains. I realise that all the stories explaining existence are futile and nowhere near true. No positive or negative emotions. Just neutral. Is this or something similar the mental state you're talking about?
  2. I just watched this documentary and it dovetails nicely into spiritual work, specifically, the connection between spirituality and contacting alien intelligences.
  3. @Nak Khid that's an interesting quote from Leo. Where did you get that from? What was the context? I actually thought maybe my solution was TO take psychedelics, rather than a break from them. ? well you're doing it pal. There's lots of room for misunderstanding and interpretation in communication. If you were born into space invaders, and shot aliens your entire life, survived and persisted through your ability to shoot aliens, all of your friends survived based off how well they shot aliens, you were taught in school on the best ways to shoot aliens and the elites were the ones who could shoot aliens the best and the poor were the ones that couldn't shoot aliens that well. Then you somehow got into this human life where there's eating, sleeping, fucking, would you have the same view about your space invader friends and society? Would you still place a lot of importance and value in shooting aliens after seeing that shooting aliens isn't the only universe that exists and the only way to survive? Would you still place a lot of importance of not dying in space invaders? Being scared shitless of an alien landing on the ground? Would you even care? What if you did Leo's life purpose course on the best way to ace shooting all the aliens? Would you still care?
  4. Evolution is simply random and favours genes of survivors. ( Simply because only survivors are able to pass their genes to their children since they have more time to mate ). But, now we have reached a state where we no longer need to worry much about survival like other animals. This allows both the strong and weak to survive, and so I think we will be evolving in different funny random ways in the next 100000 years. When it comes to weapons, they may not favour creation now, but they will be really helpful in protecting all creations, during unpredicted events like am asteroid impact our alien invasion.
  5. @acidgoofy Just because it's physically safe doesn't mean it's necessarily healthy for you. The overstimulation of serotonin is like shooting meth except its not dopamine. It's such an alien high you can become insensitive to feeling it the way nature intended. I'd stick to 1-3 times per year max. Correct me if I'm wrong, just my two cents.
  6. You do know what I mean? I know that some things are very difficult to explain in wording them. For example, I can describe to you a butterfly, another is that I could show you the butterfly. This thing I experienced, I can't tell or show to you at all that is remotely in any normal experience on earth, and I'm struggling to make sense of it myself. I recognized a pattern in that experience that resembles a Samadhi and what I've heard about it so far related to a little bit of that experience, but a lot of it was alien plus a 'merging' happening. Maybe I started off too difficult. Have you ever down any concentration exercises on mental objects? This was prior to this internal Samadhi.
  7. Hello all! Been busy for the past month, am working on some unique practices with my tulpa, and other projects for some other parts of life. I hoped you've done some of the exercises in section two: developing your mind's ear. I've done most of the exercises in formal meditation, but also while going through my day. I could cycle through songs and include natural sounds, and conjure up sounds of thunder and rain. Let's move on to section three: developing your mind's skin. We've all had some experiences with meditation, spiritual practices, visualization practices before, we've encountered at some point, especially when we imagine ourselves in a location, encounter some problem when we're trying to use our mind's eye to locate our 'body' in our 'mindscape'. Funny thing is when we try to interact with objects and travel/motion towards mental locations, because our mind is very picky with the body we have currently and the remembered somatic/auditory/visual experiences of our real body growing up, we end up struggling to fully immerse ourselves into a visualized location/mindscape. Much of the somatic memories our minds have is filtered through our real body's skin, which the brain collects as information towards our mind's ability to separate my body/others' bodies/objects/surroundings. Spiritual traditions like Daoism, with their methods like chi gong, tai chi, microcosmic orbit system, standing postures, and more, make use of external/internal somatic experiences of the mind's skin to do their energy/spirit work. Also, Hatha, Kriya, karma, and kundalini yoga, done properly, make use of mainly the mind's skin for energy/spirit work. Paranormal phenomena can involve the mind's skin, like the ability to 'sense presences', 'feel an emotion', 'feel a raise/drop-in temperature' of spirits, and ghosts in the room, aka goosebumps/chills down your spine. Demons/archdemons and deities channeled into the room have this 'heat', and 'heaviness' feeling in your mind's skin, while angels feel the opposite. Contacting entities from other realms or galaxies have this 'alien' feel, and various healing energies, and other energies could be felt. If you're interested in developing your tulpa, then having a well-developed mind's skin is great for when you want to interact somatically with your tulpa in a mindscape, or when you super-impose that tulpa to your physical location, you can then feel their touch onto your skin, or guide your hand while auto writing, whether it's real-time or while visualizing. In my opinion, this is perhaps the most rewarding experience in this field, because if seeing and hearing a mental entity isn't enough to geek you out, then wait for when the interaction includes feeling. If you're not interested, then the effort is not wasteful. You can experience more detailed, somatic experiences in your visualization, say, the texture and pressure of your pencil, as you draw a sketch for your dream house in your mind, or doing mental rehearsals on martial arts, sparring an opponent, and simply walking on a sunny beach, feeling the warmth and coolness of the breeze. If you're struggling to develop your mind's skin, then start doing isolation training on what aspect of that somatic experience that you're having difficulty in. I recommend some somatic exercises like yoga, chi gong, fitness, martial arts, dancing, and other practices like these to pick up as a hobby, and then remembering what those felt like, what pressures and textures you felt. Be specific. I've written instructions on the original post, so here are some changes: if you can do 5-10 minutes, increase by 5 minutes for each exercise (or 1 if you're really struggling), and please feel free to add another exercise appropriate to what you're working on, in this case, it's relevant to the skin. However, if you wish, go multi-sensory on some exercises, but beware that you won't progress slightly faster than another that uses deliberate practice on each element of visualization. Exercise 1: Standing feet. Begin after a meditation session. Shift your attention, eyes closed, to a place you're familiar with. In this memory, bring to mind what it feels like beneath your feet, the texture of the ground, and the weight of your body. Try as best as you can to remember every detail of those feelings. Exercise 2: Walking on the beach. Begin after a meditation session. With eyes closed, bring to mind a beach you visited and walked through. Remember every sensation beneath your feet, and how much pressure is shifted from foot to foot. Exercise 3: Body flows. Begin after a meditation session. If you've done some chi-gong, or not, bring to mind your body's position. Commence with your practices, and pay attention to how the air feels against your flowing body, how you shift your balance, from movement to movement, from head to arms and legs. Exercise 4: contact points. Begin after a meditation session. Pay attention to areas of your body that contact parts of your skin, when skin overlaps with skin if that makes sense. Now bring to mind how your clothes feel on your body. Later on the day or next day, in your mindscape, bring to mind yesterdays' clothes and contact points that you've felt. Exercise 5: touching hands: Begin after a meditation session. In a mental room, imagine sitting there, and you see some floating hands, like yours. Pay attention to how it feels when a hand rubs, back and forth, along your arm, Repeat this cycle 5 times on the arms, then the legs, then the entire torso and head. Notice the coldness/warmth and texture of those hands on your body. Exercise 6: blindfolded fight. Begin after a meditation session. If you've done dances, fitness exercises, or martial arts training or any combative movements, first bring to mind what textures, pressures, and force felt, tension or looseness, you can remember. Now bring to mind a mindscape of some training ground and you see your partner. Your partner could be a human, a beast, an alien, a demon, an angel, or whatever you want to spar with. The sparring session could be about dancing, wrestling, or judo, or aikido, or Jiujitsu, or wing Chun sticking hands, or Tai chi's push hands. Place your hands on theirs, or an arm, shoulder, or lower torso. Notice changes in textures, pressures, and tensions as you are mindful of those feelings. Exercise 7: Take a shower/bath. Begin after a meditation session. Imagine taking a shower/bath, with whatever types of oils, soaps, and scented candles you use for yourself. That's it for this week. In conclusion, not only is training your mind's skin important for feeling to your Tulpa's touch, but it also trains your ability to recall memories of different somatic experiences you've had. Also, this training may develop your mental body, to the point you could become more creative with movements. Developing your visualization skills will allow you to keep making further distinctions with each element of that visualization you're developing. Keep going, until eventually that vast difference between external and internal sensations become more and more similar until you reach realistic levels of depiction. Have a good month, hoped these exercises are simple and enjoyable, and never forget; Destiny is ALL!
  8. WOW! I've been trying a lot to vape NN-DMT through a glass pipe the past weeks and finally got the hang of it! Here's my trip report: Today I tried vaping 30 mg of NN-DMT with a regular glass pipe. Thanks to using a new and better gas lighter I was able to keep the heat more consistent and could therefore inhale a lot more vape than in my past tries, without coughing much at all. I took some hits and I could feel myself coming up gradually with each hit. I then took one hit where I somehow inhaled a lot more vape than before. Suddenly it just hit me like wham! It was like coming up on a serious dose of LSD in 5 seconds instead of two hours. I laid down realizing, “holy shit, that is how to really inhale it”. The wallpaper was like electrified neon signs, flashing wildly. Fractals and colors everywhere. The music was blasting “forgive” over and over. I was both exhilarated that it finally worked and at the same time shocked how powerful it was. I felt like I had been shot out of a cannon. I was still in the room but it felt as if it could all disappear at any time. It was quite frightening. I suddenly had a sense of relief as I remembered how it’s all Love, and I cried at how miraculous and magical it was. My body started to vibrate calmly. As I started coming down I turned the music off and listened to the silence. There was the classic DMT noise low in the background which I’ve heard on mushroom trips and in videos on YT. I was laying looking out the window, realizing how damn powerful DMT is. I looked at the clouds in the sky and thought, this is a window of opportunity for me to blast away. It literally felt as if I was about to light a rocket and fly into interstellar space. There was both fear and excitement. I was contemplating what I might see and who I might meet. I got the sense that somehow I am from “out there”. It is like going home, even though we are always home in our hearts, in the present moment, something about “out there” felt more like home than here on earth. It felt very intriguing to go deeper, with hesitation like can I handle it? So I loaded up the cannon (glass pipe) with 60 mg of NN-DMT. I took a few hits and again got a bigger one - whaam! It came on so fast. I laid down with closed eyes and went to some incredible place looking like an Alex Grey painting. Like being inside of a psychedelic doughnut. Lot of patters, shapes, colors, really difficult to describe. I opened my eyes and the room was flashing all over, colors, fractals, geometrical shapes. There was a great sense of joy which came over me. As I started coming down I played music and eventually started dancing and singing and kept going for some time. Lot of happiness and joy. Lot of energy. I then did some smaller hits. I was looking into the clouds and contemplating about meeting aliens. I realized that to meet aliens you have to have an intention to do so. So I worked out my intention and kept staring into the clouds, almost expecting to see an alien space craft. I took a few more smaller hits and kept looking. Besides some incredible cloud formations and colors - nothing. So I realized how I’d love to have an alien friend, put it on my dream board for now and called it a day.
  9. I guess this guy is stage red or I suppose he could be blue or orange as well I could see humans being him and hunting alien creatures for sport if our technology was advanced enough
  10. I live in the balkanized hellhole of Serbia. My parents are dysfunctional and i live with a single mother, while the father is absent. I wasnt socialized during childhood and bow I am expected to get through job interviews where emotional intelligence is a key factor. I dont have a diagnosis, but i dont need one because i know how alien i felt from other people and how everyone either ignores you or bullies you. There's more to it than just a gut feeling. I consider myself to have Asperger syndrome. I was a heavy gamer during entire teenage years. Not because I was lazy or hedonistic, but because I wanted to escape the suffering from being ostracized, mocked by peers and because of bad grades which I couldnt control because I believed I was stupid and helpless to change anything. The education system ruined my self-esteem, personality and mental health. The vicious cycle of learned helplessness and a dangerous lack of faith in myself destroyed the chances for me to have a good life. I had only one close friend in my entire life and this sadly lasted only 3 months when I was 12. Other than that I didnt even have people my age to talk to. I was so miserable that I spent in front of computer every day which resulted in physical deformities and chronic back pain. I quit the gaming/internet addiction when i was 21. I had an ego death as a result of chronic back pain and survived through hellish suffering. I am enlightened but enlightenment alone wont protect me from chronic unemployment, it can only show me the truths. I dont have faith anymore in myself after so many extreme disappointments (justifiably). All I have left is hope. But if you kill hope, only suicide is left. I wish to have faith again and be semper fi. But i cant when nothing works out in my life. I need proof to regain faith in myself again. Now i am 24. And the alienation between me and other people is surreal. Seeing groups of adolescents hanging out is something I cannot relate to because I never had a group of people to hang out. I feel i dont belong to the same biological species. They say this is the best time in history but nothing can be further from truth. Although some periods are justifiably better than others, for the individual there is no best time in history, its all relative. In fact today people have become so decadent. 1.The world is lacks love more than ever that its ironic that most songs nowadays are about love. 2. Social media corrupts young people and makes them have unrealistic expectations about life. 3. Everyday we stray further away from God. 4. People spend more time texting than speaking each other in the face. 5. Weak effeminate men who are insecure and technology dependent. 6. Atomized families and single mothers who treat their children like wasted medical products instead of genuinely caring about them. 7. Mindless entertainment indoors is preferred over hanging out. 8. We are polluting and overpopulating the planet but have no means to reverse the damage done to nature. 9. People only take and take, but give nothing in return. The last paragraphs may seem misanthropic and thats because they are. I dont hate anyone nor humanity, but rather life experience, distrust and cynicism made me such a person.
  11. I think that I was born with siddhis and I doubt that my consciousness was advanced since birth. In my opinion, it is a cluster of many factors such as environment, mindset, food, air, health etc. Most likely, humans already have the potential but don't use it because they are not aware of it or don't know how it works. It should come effortlessly, so it's not really an act of will. As for the future, sure there are correlations but there may be infinite future realities. Let's say that you meet an alien and it shows its world inside a really advanced simulation, it's just the same as time travel since you are in its future. I wanted to re-watch it yesterday lol. I have seen it a few years ago but I don't remember much.
  12. @Anderz Time travel depicted in sci-fi is shit imho, we have no idea what that means actually. We can only imagine that we're switching between sceneries and teleport to some utterly alien place where lots of weird lifeforms exist. I think it's way more strange than that. And it's not only about being able to manipulate spacetime, it's about evolution - be it either spiritually, physically or whatever. We just assume that evolution requires some kind of mutation or genetic engineering that occurs in a objective 3D spacetime reality but what if it's all in the mind?
  13. Ah... okay, fair point. So what I mean is NOT that one nation will become so powerful as to physically dominate all the others into one global empire. No! That cannot happen because we are too developmentally evolved as a species for that. Global unification will happen along the lines of how the 13 colonies became the United States. There was no bloody war to force the colonies to unify. They did it peacefully and willingly. So what will happen is that all the countries of the world will start to unify through a natural desire to do so rather than through domination. It will so be obvious that having a unified world government will be a net gain for all parities who join as it will bring great cohesion and peace and prosperity. Another possibility is if there is an alien invasion. This will force nations to unify in self-defense. But I think most aliens are going to be far too conscious and selfless to invade us. An advanced alien species who can build fast ships will have to be extremely conscious and loving and shouldn't even has a desire to harm us.
  14. @Robi Steel your country germany but you vote in the usa? interesting standpoint. are you then actually also voting in germany or is that a conflict and are you voting for trump to get better politics in germany or in the usa? and are you actually german or american? don’t you think europe is already americanized enough or do you think because we are so islamized we cannot think straight anymore and forget what a huge positive effect fascism had on europe? do you think if i would deny maybe being a human, i could make you believe i‘m some kind of alien on this planet full of ******* fill in whatever you think would fit the majority in terms of consciousness.
  15. I didn't see this earlier. The reason for the belief that others inside my dream don't have subjective experience is because they were created at the moment when I began the dream. They did not have lives before I went to bed and began dreaming. Nobody ever inside my dream has claimed lucidity or awareness, other than myself. However in the waking reality, all characters which I meet imply lucidity of their own and, in a way, that they exist even when I am not in their field of perception. For example that dream dog that was chasing me that one dream did not have a subjective experience of chasing me. That would require a dreamer on the other side, who is dreaming to be this dog and is the aware space in which that dream happens, but is dreaming it from the point of view of the dog. But that would then require every other character to have that as well. And since I can turn this dog or any other character into a candy inside that dream, that means that even inanimate objects then require a dreamer in order to have a subjective experience as that inside the dream. Do you think lollipops dream? But if a dog chased me in real life I will know that the dog has a subjective experience of its own and it is a real creature, not a figment of my imagination. For one, I will know it, because I will not be able to simply wish it away or just switch my dream or defeat it with superhuman strength which I can use inside an actual dream. If it can go poof just by me wishing it, it probably doesn't have a subjective experience. I know it doesn't sound very scientific, but I think it's the best way to explain this belief. How do I know I am now in the waking state or sleeping state? When you want to know that, you just have to look for the logic. If it's not there, you're in a dream. If there is logic, then it is the waking state. What do I mean by logic? That part of reality which does not allow you to fly at will without the necessary gear, which you can do inside a dream. In the waking reality you have to adhere to a specific set of rules and also there is much stronger continuity. There are also consequences of actions which you may pay for later on. In a dream you can murder everyone in cold blood and the next thing you know you're being crowned the King of Peace by an alien race of giant ants. That's how you know you're in a dream. If you end up in a high security prison for 40+ years, then you know you're in the waking state. youknowwhatImean How do you know other people are also aware in the waking state? How do we know? Easy!! Can I ask you, are you aware? The way you answer this question and the way I answer this question, if we are both honest, will be the same or very similar. Also if you are asked to describe this awareness, there will be striking similarities. It will turn out, me and you can both write about this separately, then compare notes and see that we are having the same experience of consciousness. This question has been asked to many inside this "waking dream" and I can tell you, you cannot get the answers from someone who is not aware. Ask someone in your actual dream that and you will see what the difference is. Try to ask Siri too. Or google. Google "knows" a lot of things, but it doesn't know shit about being aware and will never know. But really, after saying all this, it is not even important to know whether this is "waking" or "dream" reality. Those are just labels and reality could be either. I am not denying this could be a dream with logic. But whether it is a dream or not, there is something which is always real, in any state. The dream might not be real, but the you that experiences the dream IS real. Did you dream your dream last night? Yes Was it the same you that is on the forum right now? Yes Those two events happened in a different state, but there is something there which unifies both. That's the reality, not the waking or dream by themselves. I hope my answers are sufficient.
  16. But trying to remove the mind is like erasing the whole universe/you/everything. It seems pretty unlikely that inanimate objects would exist on their own without the mental or thinking process. From my perspective, the root of all suffering is a misunderstanding of all these mental processes that appear as being located in the homo sapiens brain, while truth could be a lot more alien than that. So why we should retain these primitive/self-limiting beliefs that reality is all there is and not try to expand our minds further? That's how evolution works. But since humans seem to suffer from Stockholm syndrome/there is no free will/it's all death and diseases mindset, there's no true understanding or novelty besides boring repetition of different patterns.
  17. I smoked 15mg of bufo this weekend, which I know isnt a lot, but it was still very intense. Ive done 7gs of shrooms 4x and have had ego death, and even just 15mg of bufo was WAY more intense. During the trip, it felt like i (james) was communicating with an alien superintelligence, and it wanted me to completely surrender to it and maybe give my soul to it (idk if i believe in souls, but thats what it felt like). However, it didnt seem loving at all - it seems very threatening, like it was coercing me to love it and surrender to it ‘or else’, and it also seems like if I fucked up this exchange somehow it would sent me straight to hell forever. Im aware that this could be my ego playing tricks on me, but the threatening thing felt outside of me versus inside (maybe its still my ego though, idk). It’s easy to downplay the gravity of this when I’m sober and say “oh thats just part of the experience / its your subconscious / etc”, but when youre in that space its the realest thing youve ever felt and the stakes are everything. I decided that even if theres a 1 in 1000th chance that i literally get sent to hell forever, its just not worth it. That said, i still want to do it again (lol), but before i do that i want to make sure i dont figuratively or literally get stuck in hell forever. If anyone has thoughts on how to do this, id love to hear your thoughts and im sure this would help a lot of others too. Here are some ideas i have so far: -Work on overcoming this fear of hell with my therapist. -Talk to a bunch of ppl who have experienced hell on 5meo (my key concerns are that you get stuck there for what feels like an eternity or actually for eternity, or its so unbearable that it destroys you, or you get possessed). -Talk to more ppl in general who have done 5meo. -Try 5meo via syringe instead of smoking. Would appreciate any thoughts! And to preemptively respond to many of you, i am logically on board with “its all you!” and the general oneness argument, but that doesn’t help me solve this on an emotional level. Thanks again!
  18. Thanks everyone ( @Nahm @StarStruck @dimitri @Serotoninluv @Corpus @Jacobsrw ) for your advice! Greatly appreciate it. @Nahm - Good question re how I'm able to do a ton of shrooms and have ego death no problem, but struggled with 5meo. A few thoughts: 1. I did the heavy doses of shrooms during the first half of 2019. I had an ego death where I became all of my surroundings, and it felt like the source of all energy was flowing directly through me and everything around me, condcuting everything in an asbolutely perfect harmony. It was easily the most beautiful and mesmerizing experience I had ever had. I also had this distinct knowingness that I was one with everything around me, and that I (my highest self) had created all of this. However, I did not experience infinity - while I sensed that I was one with my surroundings/simulation/dream, there still remained the possibility that there could exist other realities/beings outside of my current dream/simulation. My understanding of 5meo breakthroughs is that you realize that you are not only your immediate surroundings, but also literally all of existence for as far as existence extends - beyond your own surroundings / simulation / dream all the way to infinity. My experience on shrooms still left open the possibility for the existence of an 'other,' even though I did had some level of ego death. 2. A few months after this experience, I was doing some weed (I rarely smoke - maybe a few times per year) and my mind sort of got back into the space described above. I had this very strong sense of connecting directly with GOD (this was actually different from most of my shrooms experiences - where I didn't clearly identify the source energy/signal as being THE god/creator). It was profound and seemed unmistakeable - like, "OMG, it's fucking GOD." It felt like the most pure, good, all-knowing, all-powerful thing imaginable, and like it was impossible for it be anything but god. I actually started crying when I felt its presence / my connection to it, because I felt like I had been connected to this energy as a child, but society had pulled the wool so fucking hard over my eyes that I had forgotten about, and even shunned, this utmost truth. I didn't have the experience of being one with it though - it was very much the sense that "I am this puny human, interfacing with the almighty god." I called my mom in the middle of experiencing this, still very high (really bad idea - never ever do this lol), and I profusely apologized to her while crying, because her relationship with God is the most central thing in her life, and I had completely written it off and had even been dismissive and condescending about this for the past 15+ years. While I was talking to her on the phone about this, things took a turn for the worst, and this is what I think fucked me up (and culminated in me having difficulty letting go on 5meo). My mom (who is a very conservative and somewhat strict Catholic), wasn't happy that I was high, and seemed extremely concerned that I was tapping into this energy. She said something along the lines of "Yeah, James, god is real. You figured it out. But now you're REALLY playing with fire, and you better stop going down this path." I interpreted her tone as indicating that I was in dire danger (it was honestly like that though - like if she said the wrong word in the wrong way, or if I made the slightest mistake... it was all over). I also interpreted her tone and language as implying that not only were God and heaven real, but also the devil and hell were real. And now that I had poked around too much and had tapped into these things, I was on the radar of the dark energy. She also seemed to hint that if I crossed some kind of line, I could get sent to hell forever and there was nothing anyone could do to ever get me out. This was the most serious that I had ever seen my mom - as if she had known about the gravity of this my entire life, but had been playing a clandestine role to protect me (and herself) from the unfathomably awful consequences of screwing up (ie getting sent to hell forever) because the truth of what sandbox we were playing in (purgatory) was just too damn scary and the stakes were just too fucking high. She then instructed me to follow specific guidelines in case I bumped into demons / dark energy or something, and said she would send guardian angels to watch over me (she's pretty hardcore Catholic). I've been a pretty staunch atheist/agnoistic for most of my life and had completely written off the possibility of all these things being true, so the sudden realization that of all this stuff might actually being true - hitting me all at once - was a bit too big of a pill to swallow. At the same time as all this was happening, a very dark energy seemed to start honing in on me - like the polar opposite of the good/god energy that I had encountered earlier. I felt like I had been poking around the nature of reality too much, had discovered something that I wasn't supposed to know about the simulation/dream I was in and the spiritual overlords who controlled it, and now they were unhappy with me and were coming after me for my punishment (I know none of this makes any sense rationally and doesn't make sense to me at all when I'm sober, but this is what it felt like in the moment). Over the next half hour or so, I became consumed by an increasingly intense dark energy and fear that seemed to be threatening to remove me from this sim/dream and transport me to hell now that I knew too much, and the fear became so overwhelming that I literally started to feel like I was sitting in front of a bonfire and I even called out to Jesus to protect me because fucking going to hell lol. On a subsequent weed trip a few months later, almost the exact same thing happened. I connected with this dark superintelligent/superpowerful energy again, that seemed to be threatening me to stop poking around the nature of reality or else it would send me straight to hell (I'm assuming this was my ego, but it felt a lot like the alien telepathic signal that I referred to in my OP). I think a lot of these experiences/beliefs resurfaced when I did 5meo this past weekend. Again, I was raised in a pretty strict catholic household, so a lot of these beliefs were probably ingrained in me as a kid (even though I've been atheist/agnostic for the past 15 years and don't have any awareness of these subconscious beliefs when I'm sober). Pretty long-winded response, but you asked for context on how I was able to do a ton of shrooms and have ego death while struggling with 5meo, so there it is! Maybe if I hadn't done the weed and been spooked my my mom / triggered a lot of religious beliefs that were unknowingly instilled in me as a child, then the 5meo would have been smoother sailing. Nonetheless, I am fucking doing 5meo again lol. I'm way too curious and it's way too profound for me to shy away from it. I'll just have to go slowly/gradually and not push myself too far out of my comfort zone each time as I build up my tolerance. Even though it was very scary, I still found it profoundly insightful and equivalent to crushing through something like 100+ layers of my psyche, which probably would have taken years of therapy to work through in a sober state. I'm also very excited and grateful to have the opportunity to figure out how to overcome the fear of hell and get to the breakthrough state of 5meo, because then I will be positioned to help many others conquer their greatest fears and radically level up their consciousness. I'm just going to take the process VERY slowly and carefully - one milligram at a time, and will be sure to give myself as much time as needed to fully integrate everything that I learn in-between sessions.
  19. Wow, I've tried that but you know it seems too good to be true. Like it truly feels like freedom, when I let go that "there is a problem" and instead I 'give it to God'. Feels good, again, like freedom. But this freedom feels alien too, like "this couldn't be this easier, right?" so I usually end up going back to the same thought stories.
  20. Yeah... that's fear. You've got a lot of fear to surrender before you are able to realize the Love of that alien super-intelligence. You're not going to get stuck in hell forever. That's just one of your deepest fears, so of course it hits you hard. The reason it feels forced is because YOU forced! LOL. That's what 5-MeO-DMT is! When you sit down to smoke bufo what you are basically saying is: "Force God upon me." And so it is. Then the question is are you able to handle what you asked for? Are you able to chew what you bit off? Which is why moderate dosing is crucial. You can certainly traumatize yourself with God by taking a large dose because by putting a chemical in your system you are brute-forcing awakening at the material level. And the material level tends to be ruthless. Gravity is not going to have compassion for you if you jump out of an airplane. Gravity will feel unloving in such a situation. But that's because you were crazy enough to jump out of an airplane. It's your job in this situation to ensure you have a parachute and know how to deploy it. Definitely try plugging it. Much gentler and smoother. Lower your dose. Don't be macho. This is not about who can do more. It's about finding the perfect dose for your current station in life. You will also get used to 5-MeO-DMT the more you do it. The first few times it just feels so alien, otherworldly, and confusing. Go slowly. Be patient. Play the long game. Take time to integrate. Trip only when you feel like you're ready for another dose of Truth. Sometimes I have to take months between trips. Don't be trying to copy me by doing some 30 days challenge bullshit. That's way too much. You should not be taking that as the standard example of how to trip. I was doing very hardcore stuff there because I wanted to test the limits.
  21. Title says it all. I feel bad. It's like promises are really bad to break, like, promises by definition do not get broken. Nobody can predict the future though, nobody I know of lol. Soo, not sure what that means in regards to promises lol... Who knows mb there is a secret law to the universe that makes it so that the promises made are ones which could actually be upheld. But what if a promise was broken more because of deliberate disregard for it rather than miscalculation of the future, like not knowing alien invasion was about to take place or that your car would be hit or something....In other words, what if a broken promise could have been saved? Does that mean the break is worse or is it like the worst thing ever either way? Anyways, I dont really know what to think or how to handle this situation. It seems serious.
  22. @An young being from the Absolute POV yeah You are designing it all so that it unfolds perfectly into discovering you are Infinite Love. In your Infinite Intelligence you had to forget you were infinite in order to experience it and know that you are Infinite experientially. So You designed and created all of this. Time, evolution - the advancement of humanity - even alien beings far more advanced than humans. If you knew up front that it was being designed and imagined by You it would probably take all the realness away. Like spoiling the end of a good movie. So relatively speaking, yes, the evolution of time is moving us towards a higher state of consciousness. A more advanced society. Ultimately a society of mystics that can access multiple dimensions. That can communicate telepathically. That grasps that Love is the essence of their being - and goodness must prevail. That is what You are dreaming up as Infinite Mind and that is ultimately what is destined to come to pass. Ta da!
  23. Its possible but the only way you can discover for yourself is to experience a nondual experience. You are assuming or entertaining there are separate universes. The sheer act of looking outside instantaneously creates another universe. Its the ego that is looking ahead that is the creator. It will be a never-ending loop until you realize in full circle its you. Sure there might be aliens, and if they ever get in contact with us, despite them being more technologically advanced than us they will be more primitive compared to a human that has awakened. If they never woken up to the importance of the observer then they can be considered less advanced metaphysically and spiritually. This will hold true even if the alien race created earth and humans eons ago.
  24. This is something I could never understand in a long time. I can see how someone can be "unconditionally loving". But I fail to see how someone can unconditionally love someone or something i.e. I don't see how unconditional love can be objective. And this boils down to a problem with identity. Let me elaborate. Consider that you, the subject, unconditionally love Leo at some timestamp T. Sometime later, assume he said something really bad to you, but you still love him because your love is unconditional. Now tomorrow, Leo uploads a video saying he was bullshitting you the entire time, that all this enlightenment stuff is nonsense - quite a radical shift in the man you thought was Leo, but you still love him. The day after, you find out that he is a raging psychopath serial killer, but you still love him, because it's unconditional. Now I will take the liberty to get a little crazier, it's a thought experiment after-all. Let's assume Leo is in-fact a shape-shifting alien, and he changes his body into that of an alien, completely unrecognizable. At this stage, both Leo's mind and body has changed completely from what it was at time T, wherein you were 'unconditionally' loving towards him. In other words, every identifying characteristic of the entity 'Leo' has completely changed. But your love is unconditional, so your are still loving towards this alien entity ... okay. Now tell me, is this entity even Leo anymore? No it's not. Leo's existence in the universe was always a conditional reality. That is, if{condition 1} AND if{condition 2} AND if{condition 3} are true, THEN "Leo Gura". It doesn't make sense to "unconditionally" do something to a conditional object. So unconditionally loving someone or something fails at the logical level. Either this, or I'm missing something super obvious.
  25. Maybe this line gives a clue about what's happening in the movie: To me, it's more about perceptions and how reality could be totally different from what we're used to. Perhaps that color was an alien dimension that once perceived, it led to insanity because the brain was not accustomed to it, thus provoking some sort of collective hallucinations. But there could be multiple interpretations, hopefully someone could enlighten us about the true meaning. Edit: "The Mist" is another awesome movie about alien dimensions and absurdity of the human existence ?