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In theory this is a walk in the park. In direct experience it is extremely difficult. In practice, I've found it helpful to enter places of panic and terror to surrender and transcend panic and terror. Panic and terror equals peace. Yet this is infinitely more difficult to do in direct experience than thinking about it in the mind. This is why psychedelics have been helpful for me. . . . I had to directly face panic and terror in my direct experience to realize the absolute peace within panic and terror. I could not have thought my way through it. On my own, I will not volunteer to enter panic and terror - and surrender to it. Yet with psychedelics, I had no choice. There is a similar process with surrendering into love, peace and bliss. Yet this is much much easier to surrender into, ime. . . . If the above video was titled "Direct access to Terror", I doubt many people would watch it. If the teacher said "Rather than a meditation session of serenity and peace, we will now have a session of mental torture to teach you the nature of absolute peace. People would get up and run away. . . Yet, Terror = Peace. It's the same thing on an absolute level. Other beings may have different paths. I'm just speaking from my experience and I'm not saying it is the ultimate truth. For the vast majority of people, it is best that they relax the mind and allow the sense of peace to reveal itself - and to theorize about how absolute peace exists within trauma. Actually realizing this in direct experience is extremely hard on the human mind and body. My practice has involved what appears to be some irreparable damage to my physical brain and body. Yet there is absolute peace within that. However, I would not suggest my path for 99.99% of people.

Yes. I understand that. I think most people would interpret this "peace of our true nature" as a "thing". It is seeking the "peace of my true nature" and not seeking the "non-peace of my false nature". I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that. It's a wonderful space. Ime, there is a deeper level of an unconditional peace that is present regardless of what the mind and body is experiencing. That absolute peace is present during anxiety, panic, terror. love, bliss etc. It is unconditional. I don't think this is how most people would interpret the video above. I think most people would associate this "peace of our true nature" as a sense of serenity and peace. Absolute peace is present during those moments of course, because it is absolute. Yet it is also present when the mind and body is distressed. If I organized a spiritual retreat entitled "The realization of absolute peace while you experience panic and terror", I don't think many people would show up. Most people are seeking relative feelings of peace and thats totally fine. If I organized a retreat in a serene area of nature and called it "Discover your true nature of peace and serenity" - a lot more people would show up. The human mind and body wants to experience states that are pleasing. There is something to be said for that. It is very loving and healthy for the mind and body. I would not discourage someone from pursuing this.

This reminds me of an experience I had in Belize a couple years ago. I spent two weeks in an isolated village that was full of love and acceptance. The people had healthy diets - they grew their own fruits and vegetables and caught fish in the ocean. There was a man there from the U.S. that was a Wall Street Broker that had a nervous breakdown and went "insane". He was destined to live in an assisted-living home for the mentally disabled, yet found his way to this small community in Belize. After two years there, he was completely healthy again. That's how healing love and acceptance can be. For me, everyday was like a month of therapy. One day, I was floating in the ocean and had an experience similar to your MDMA experience. My self dissolved. All negative connontations about myself dissolved. There were no more mind attacks. There was simply beingness. This beingness of Now was complete as it is. In the absence of self and mind attacks, the default state of being is what is happening now and it was beautiful. Yet then when I returned home, self-centered thoughts would re-appear. Yet I know had a new perspective. Because awareness "above" these self-centered thoughts arose, there was now an awareness observing them - noticing how they form and the impact on my mind and body. It took some practice and effort - that self-centered attachment/identification and anxiety can dissolve. For example, I would be doing Yin Yoga and reach deep levels of relaxation and "I returned" to that space of floating on the ocean in Belize. . . in my living room!!! I didn't need to spend thousands of dollars and take to weeks off to go to Belize! This was great news. I would be mindful of creating a thing called "enlightenment" that I desire to attain, pursue and experience. In one sense, having an "enlightenment" goal can be motivating to do practice, yet in another sense - the mind/body can become desirous of escaping discomfort and experiencing bliss. This can lead to chasing experiences. For example, I may start thinking that "enlightenment" is that place in Belize, which is not Here and Now. Yet that place in Belize is always Here and Now. Certain practices and psychedelics can reveal this, yet it's very tempting to chase that and think "Here and now isn't it. I want a better here and now". For me, the process has included both: 1) To become aware of, and release, self-referential thought stories and 2) to become unconditionally present Here and Now, regardless of what is happening.

Leo's latest Video I see deep inner conflict and deep suffering in Leo's latest vid. I see someone not resting enough or taking a break from this work. Physical health issues are a manifestion of emotional difficulty. Next Steps- Walkabout In Australian Aboriginal society Walkabout is a rite of passage for young males to transcend childhood and make a transition into adulthood, usually as a spiritual practice. Its time for my own Walkabout. For so long I have been carrying weight from the past which has conditioned my current perceptions. After lots of deep inner work, where these difficulties have risen to the surface it is time to shed this conditioning to pave way for my higher self, my Truth. I will enter a new phase of expression and exploration without any focusing on end result. I have already begun to experience deep states of bliss but I continue to be pulled back to habits of the ego. From silence comes energy, healing, new beginnings and Truth.

There's a lack of focus occurring because there is large energy/bliss and a strong sensation of pressure at the forehead. And this is causing the stream of thoughts to disrupt every 30 or so seconds, which disrupts focus on everyday activities like work and driving. Anyone who has experienced this before, I would love for you to share your experiences on resolving it. Thanks!

@Jesus Daniel From what I know: Work your way up. Don't start strong. Start with training-wheels. You do NOT want to be scared of riding the bike because you had a near-death-experience when you fell off it the first time. 5-MeO-DMT is fucking strong bro, you will experience fear like never before. It is, like any psychedelic or drug, to be FULLY respected! But then again, I have no fucking idea or experience. Shoot for the stars and perhaps your ego will cave in and not-you will experience the highest bliss. Die safe my bro, you've got my best wishes

Thanks for the advice dude! A deep, kept secret a lot of people on here don't know, is that I had a session with Nahm back when i was almost suicidal, and I practiced a thing he taught, and as soon as i did that, all of this weird shit started happening hahahahahhahahahah EDIT/DISCLAIMER: Nahm's advice has helped me generate levels of bliss unimaginable, just from 1 session which was about my career and getting over suicidal thoughts, rather than spirituality. Definitely recommend him and not trying to say if you practice his stuff you will become psychotic. This is just personal to me.

Insanity doesn't exist. What seems to be insanity is the concept, mental construction of it. It felt so good going through it. Letting it go. Every trip I do lately gets me to a point where I literally feel like I am going insane. Automatically the question arises, what exactly is going insane and this just doesn't stop. The question is asked and it pulls me deeper into it. It's becoming harder and harder letting it go, symptoms of panic start coming up, these are hard to let go of too. It's like I reach "the line" of insanity, ask myself who reached it and what is this line, get past it and automatically ask the same again. This crazy loop. I was about to lose my shit, but am proud of myself I got through it.? Damn, so much heavy shit came to surface this time. All of my loved ones, characters that I am still attached to. My mother, my grandmother, my dearest friend, my ex.. All I had to detach from. This was very painful, however bliss is what I've found in doing so. I started contemplating after a while the appearance of other. This was so profound. I got revealed to a show, where first I was this being that realised it's existence. I was that for a while before I became everything I observed. Also, in that state there was no observer. Felt like I was looking back at myself and myself looking back at me. This state felt so powerful. Not long passed before this bliss started turning into deep, deep sadness which lead straight to Nothingness. I became absolutely nothing. And from this nothing, misinterpretations of it started appearing and before long I was asleep again. Everything just slipped away like nothing ever happened. This repeated some number of times. It was ridiculously beautiful and profound. What caught me off guard was that just 50ug LSD got me this deep. Had sample of 10mcg DMT mixed with vape juice, gave it a go too, that had to affect the trip I suppose. Thank you for reading. Something different is happening lately. Absolutely Love it.?❤️

Update: I posted here yesterday because I was having severe psychotic symptoms accompanied with extreme chaotic levels of bliss. Who I was, what time period I was in, what objects are, what space is, kept being forgotten every 2 to 5 minutes, and I felt like I was being transported to different dimensions and totally forgetting the dimension I was in the past. Motor function lost control for a few moments completely. It was like being in the last scenes of 2001 space odyssey. Fortunately it has passed now. Key learnings/change in consciousness: 1. became fully aware that there are actually 3 things operating right now: the body, mind and YOU; Who you actually are. You are creating the entire universe including the body and mind. The body and mind are tiny subsets of you. 2. As a corollary to 1, while the body is a subset of you, paradoxically, you are not the body. I now have a very strange ability to completely dis-identify with the body at will, just by focusing awareness on the body's sensations, physical look, and becoming aware that the body is made of consciousness, like everything, and that's me. I got a sense that this has very strong advantages to loosing weight and completely eliminating body image issues. As you are not the body, the physical appearance of the body does not affect self esteem. Also negative sensations with the body are not affecting happiness. Discomfort is not affecting me as I am not the body. Fear of death can be reduced, if not eliminated with dis-identifying with the body, as the body may be destroyed, but I am not the body. I became very aware that I do not want sex, the body wants sex, and I thought I wanted sex because I identified with the body. If you don't identify with the body, you don't want sex, your body wants sex. That's paradoxically does not mean you will never have sex, it means you will have sex for the sake of the body, not because you want it. 3. As a corollary to 1, the mind is the ego, and the ego is YOU getting sucked into thinking you are not you, but instead are apart of you. The ego is micro flashes of thoughts (falsehood or things pretending to be true but aren't true) which very subtly suck you into thinking those things are real for split seconds. If you have enough of them going on in awareness, you can maintain a sense that partiality is real, and wholeness is false. This is what people on here probably refer to as egoic consciousness. I became very aware that I do not care about how I look, how smart I am, etc. This is what the mind/ego cares about, and its what I want if I identify with the ego/mind. If you don't identify with the ego, then you don't want it. Paradoxically though that does not mean you will not care about survival of the mind anymore, you will, but on behalf of the mind, not on behalf of you. by the way, in this post I use I, me and you as interchangeable, because in reality they are interchangeable. 4. As a corollary to 2 and 3, the mind and body have their own needs and wants, and communicate that through feelings and sensations. while you are not the body and the mind, the body and mind are designed in such a way that they communicate what's necessary for them to survive or do what they want to do. If you are in egoic consciousness, you can actually believe that you are the body and mind (hahahaha) and then because you are the body and mind you literally feel you need to do everything the body and mind wants, because that's what you want, and you are the most important thing in the universe. This is the heart of neurotic behaviours. Having survival needs from the body and mind, and fulfilling them because you identify with the body and mind. 5. As an addon to 4, you (or god whatever you want to call yourself) also have wants and desires for the body and mind, but may have trouble communicating them if you identify with the body and mind instead of you. You have a very holistic, unified drive for a direction, which includes the body, mind, world, different universes, the whole thing, and the body and mind are small cogs in that big picture of what you want. If you can get out of egoic consciousness, you can align the mind and body to what you want, and this is pure joy and happiness. Your body and mind's desires, are deeply distorted representations of what you want. If you contemplate your body image issues enough, you will contemplate your way to your(gods) wants. And see that the body image issues was a badly described way of communicating you're not in line with what you (god) wants, as a whole. Some personal things: 1. I had a strong pressure and energy located in the 3rd eye for like 2 weeks and it was getting stronger. I dismissed/ignored it because I thought it was an innocent sensation. It is now clear to me that this sensation was a signal of a future psychotic episode, and chaotic bliss, and if I took that signal as a sign that I must prepare myself for such an episode, things would have happened much more smoothly. 2. I've been searching for psychedelics for past 12 months, and am actively finding them. I feel like this experience was a preparation for my entrance into the field of psychedelics. I've taken 1 psychedelic in the past and there were a lot of similarities to what happened on that trip and this experience. 3. I now want to discover/contemplate more on the body, mind and soul/me and how these guys relate, and how best to control the body and mind to do what I want. Not what the body and mind wants. I'm still not an expert in this, but that will be my focus for the next few weeks. 4. I'm now aware that I'm creating the reality around me, but I am not aware as to why I created this reality around me in the first place. That's another point of contemplation for me (or if I get psychedelics sooner than later, a question for them). EDIT: If I'm god, why can't I just make a Lamborghini pop up in front of me? Because 'doing' is an illusion/imaginary. Therefore God cannot do, because doing does not exist, God can only imagine to be in a universe (physical) where doing is seemingly(pretend) possible, and do as an actor in that universe. All God can do is Be, and therefore making a Lamborghini pop out of nowhere does not make sense absolutely. 5. While I'm aware that I am not the mind and body, I can very very very very easily slip into thinking I'm the mind and body for short milliseconds. Its very easy to slip into thinking you're the mind and body and you must put effort into placing awareness on the mind, body, and you(self aware) to maintain a sense of God consciousness. This may explain why some enlightened masters do silly things like make cults or rape, etc. So another goal of mine is to continue to maintain a sense of awareness 24/7. This also explains how you can slip back into thinking you're an ant: its easy, just stop meditating hahaha. 6. Enlightened teachers who refuse to say I, me, or you, or speak in 3rd person are idiots hahaahahahahahahhaha. Because you do exist lool. EDIT: fuck its happening again. Massive surge of energy just exploded my brain and I forgot who I was again. And I'm forgetting what's going on. Fuck. Wooooooow massive wave of energy, just engulfed everything. Soon this post will not be identifiable by me, and I will not recognise who wrote it. I better write the time is 3:41pm Sunday so I don't forget.

Also, check near death experiences reports on youtube, most people (high level old souls go directly to bliss/heaven) literally go to hell (not eternal though, so let's call it purgatory, thank God).

I know man... It's fucked up isn't it? But look at reality right now (google Venezuela on wikipedia) and especially in the past before global peace and medicine weren't a thing... Intense suffering is real, even for us: we think pain killers assisted clinical death is peaceful but check my signature website and you'll find that eventually all of us will go through that shit after death (this fear is not all bad though, it's the biggest pull to gather the courage to take high doses psychedelics and go from boredom to bliss). But I feel you bro... I'm currently the first one to say "fuck that shit" and I'm not taking high doses myself too.

Updates from the illusion... Sometimes you just need therapy! Well I've come to realise this and it's been a relief. A lot of trauma, stress, stories etc etc. However my baseline of consciousness has seemingly increased through the continued work. I feel myself resisting less and floating more through life. A spirit/consciousness having a human experience not the other way round. The "direct" path is the key. See the veil. See the screen. See the door. As I walk through years and years of conditioning I begin to reach the bliss. Keep following it. Let go of heavy expectations of yourself. Let go of resistance. Enjoy the journey.

Which chakra does the bliss emanate from?

1. I have extreme levels of bliss that are crazily and chaotically disrupting my focus, sense of reality and motor function. 2. I keep having moments, every 2 to 5 minutes, of forgetting who i am, what just happened, my history, forgetting the physical universe, etc. 3. I have totally forgotten what death is. If someone gets shot in front of my i would not give a fuck. ive totally forgotten who my friends and family are. They all just seem like me. I need help. Who knows a good online rasa, spiritual or reiki healer i can have a session with? I suspect, but not sure, i somehow contemplated my way into a premature kundalini awakening. Even though ive only taken psychedelics once in the past, i feel like I somehow contemplated myself into a big psychedelic trip. And its not going away.

An enlightened person is not necessarily experiencing joy and bliss 24/7, but he is aware/knows he IS joy and bliss 24/7.

@Girzo I could say(and feel like saying) that grasping absolute truth has nothing to do with enlightenment. Your psychedelic experiences have nothing to do with enlightenment. And i feel very strongly about that. But i wont say that, because there is a meta point that could be made here. You need to first consider that, who I am, and what 'Im living' is your construction. Its you projecting that. There is no human called electrobeam having experiences. That is all made up by you, constructed through synthesising spiritual information and various interpretations of meditative and psychedelic experiences you seem to have had. Whether im living in delusion or Im enlightened is purely determined by how YOU perceive me. Its completely relative, and whether im enlightened or deluded depends on your ideas or definitions of enlightenment, which are abitrary, not grounded in reality, and are not true. I did not say im enlightened. Because I do not think enlightenment is real. That is your construction, purely. In reality there is no electrobeam claiming to be enlightened. But it may be helpful to see me that way, because it helps support your ideas and beliefs of what enlightenment is, and do a sneaky sense of confirmation bias. I have a strong sense that you have experienced God, joy, bliss and unconditional love during a psychedelic experience, and labelled that as 'enlightenment'. I totally appreciate that you really do think this is enlightenment, and because the post above did not have the same vibe as that experience, you labelled it as 'not enlightenment' or 'claiming to be enlightened when living in delusion'. I would have done the same if i took psychedelics. If it was experienced sober, same shit. Same point being made. What you need to have the courage to do, not for me, but for understanding this meta point, and opening yourself up to greater possibilities in life, is to recognised YOU are the one who labelled this experience as enlightenment. And that was arbitrary. There was nothing about that experience which implied enlightenment apart from you CHOOSING to. You secretly, through indenial, constructed the sense of 'enlightenment' from thin air. There is nothing real about the meaning of enlightenment. What youve effectively done, is labelled a state of consciousness, enlightenment. You labelled properties of God, as enlightenment. When people refer to enlightenment, it is not a state. It is not a set of properties of God. It is a sense of completion, a sense of wholeness. And this experience can, but does not necessarily need to be joyful, loving, etc. The other properties. Enlightenment operates on a different plane to states of consciousness. Its totally different or beyond states of consciousness: joy, love etc. Just because you experience absolute joy or absolute love, or a strange loop, does not mean youre enlightened. And just because you DONT experience joy or absolute love 24/7 doesnt mean youre not enlightened. I guess this is the critique people talk about with psychedelics, conflating states of consciousness with enlightenment. Also be open to the possibility that enlightenment isnt achieved after finishing some sort of race to going meta on states of consciousness. Its not like after experiencing 10000 hours of absolute love, you are enlightened. No, you could be enlightened within the first 10 or after 100000. Because enlightenment is operating on a different plane. Also be aware that people define enlightenment differently. Self proclaimed enlightened teachers have different depths of enlightenment BECAUSE ENLIGHTEMENT AS A LABEL IS RELATIVE. Saying "you arent there yet, keep going" is ridiculously simplistic. And misses a lot of points.

I'm going to address the topic of 'awakening as awareness' as the 'ultimate goal'. Aside from the fact that the idea of an 'goal' is a self interested motivation, which doesn't mean it's bad or wrong, it's just that what it is. Eating is a self interest motivated goal, there are plenty of 'goals' that fall into this variety of pursuits. An 'ultimate goal' I'm going to surmise is one of ultimate importance, or a supreme pursuit. As far as 'awakening as awareness' as an ultimate one that is a matter of interpretation or preference, there is no authority to anoint it as such. That this 'no-self' just 'awakening to awareness' conceptual paradigm being anything other than your own perspective and preference isn't substantiated as any absolute truth. As someone who has explored this in my own experience I can attest there's nothing more 'absolute truth' about it, it's an imaginary concept. Even if there is perspective to be had in this imaginary paradigm of consciousness in reality it is also can serve as a denial of what is at all levels of experience. Just because one has a view from this perspective doesn't mean it is the absolute truth and the physical doesn't exist or isn't real. An acceptance of all experience in physical, emotional, intellectual and consciousness is the holistic approach even if one chooses to form their paradigm of beliefs from a portion of this experience or from all of it. A one-ness perspective wouldn't deny or dismiss any part of the whole since it is all one. Also, things like happiness, peace, fulfillment, bliss, joy or any of these types of descriptions of something we would experience are byproducts of our inner life. They result from the environment of our inner life and may not necessarily be in accordance to the circumstance of our outer life. Liberation is the cessation of self suffering and those things like peace, joy and bliss are an expression of liberation. In my experience anything that doesn't contribute to this presence of being can serve to be a distraction from it. Something to consider.

@Beginner Mind Sure. I’m just not a fan of bypassing. Seems that when we do, that ‘same old problem’ just comes around again. I favor deeper lasting wakefulness & bliss, and the creating of the life one most genuinely wants. I’d go so far as to say anything less is bypassing...which is fine too.

The problem with "any non-psychedelics spiritual practice" is that you think you are accomplishing something when in fact you are most probably not (unless you do it 24/7 but good luck with that). And NO, you don't need any practice to handle high doses psychedelics (which is what you need, lower doses only give you a relatively little taste of the real deal), at the right/high doses you have no control over anything, you are like an ant in the hands of a giant t-rex (or God after the bad trip eventually switches to bliss). All sources in my signature.

Mood: love. Love. And some more passion im journaling: 1) I have to shoot my self into this place of becoming my thoughts to talk to you. I can't leave the identity of thoughts which makes me but a thought and nothing at the same time. To talk to you I have to believe in. Thoughts. I have to have my world view. I have to have my understandings, values and belifes. 2) just be 3) I'm now going to identify with a thought. Earlier today, I studdly started becoming more aware and I just stoped doing my work. I blanked out. This girl was trying to comfort me and asking me "what's the matter" I felt amazing, but she thought I was suffering. I saw unconditional love rise inside me a little later and right when my eyes started watering from all the love someone grabbed my shoulders asking for help on some work. I was so attached to my work. Then I realized it all doesn't matter. Nothing matters. It's all perfect. No need to do anything. Just be. Enjoy the beautiful life that is right in front of us. I didn't want to work. I didn't want to do any of it. I wanted to just bliss out on these feelings. I wanted to leave and go home. I've done it before. I've left and really did the minimum I had to do for a few months. Then my consciousness lowered and I started doing it all again. Now that my consciousness is rising I see the pointlessness in doing it. It's already perfect. We can create reason, but that's just more thoughts someone's identifying with. Anyway, I stuck it out and just did everything I needed to do. I then did something I wasn't supposed to do by some made up standards people have identified with. I felt shame and guilt in my stomach. I didn't understand why. I know better, but I still felt them. I just watched it. 4) j noticed that the girl I used to love was thought of when I started to feel unconditional love. I'm thinking that it may have had to do with some past experiences. In the past I've often been talking to her when I suddenly was bitch slapped by love. I would just see the beautiful reality that was always here. I was just blind to it. I am noticing my awareness leave me as I stoped questioning thoughts, my existence and all that stuff. So I'll leave it for today.

I do not feel good. How do i feel better? Thoughts and emotion. I am relaxed I feel bliss through my body, i do not feel bliss through my body I am challenger in league of legends I run a website that makes 1 million dollars per year I am happy I love league of legends I am improving rapidly I enjoy playing the game I want to feel good What does it mean to feel good? I want energy I have energy I want my third eye to open I have my third eye opened I want my crown charka opened I have my chakra All the chakras are open I am jelous of everyone ahead of me on the path. This is fucking bull shit. WHy the fucl are these fking guys allowed to be enlightened. Fucking idiots aren't better than me why the fuck are they enlightened and i'm not. What the fuck. FUCKING IDIOTS i can't believe these fking fools are better than me at league. I am so fucking jelous of their fucking skill, how the fuck are they better than me. I am fucking better than them this fucking bull shit. I am better than everyone wtf. Fuck everyone. Fucking idiots, people are so fking stupid. If everyone had their fking shit together we would livein a better place and i'd already be enlightened Fucking fools everywhere don't know what fuck they are doing. Fuck them and efuck ereoone. I'll fking fix this shit, fucking fools. Fuck, mother fucker, fuck, idiots, cu**, fuck, bitch fuck.. lkdjfklajfkldajlfkdjlkfjdaklfjdklajflkadjflkdajfadjflkdajflkdjlkfjalfjdaklfjdaklj I am fucking pissed. I am fucking angry. I'm going to fucking kill someone, I'm going to fucking rip someone's thorat out . Mother fuckers everywhere, everyone pisses me the fuck off. Fucking fools eerywhere walking around, man i wish we were in the med evil times i'd be fucking killing people all the time, moter fuckers everywhere. I want to express anger and rage so I can move up the emotional scale. I HATE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS. ALL MY FUCKING IDIOTS TEAMATES THEY FUCKING PISS ME OFF. FUCKING TRASH CANS ALWAYS MAKE FUCKING MISTAKES FUCKING IDIOTS, I'M SO FUCKIGN ANGRY. FUCK ALL MY IDIOT FUCKING TEAMMATES, AND FUCK ME FOR GETTING BAD. I'M A FUCKING FOOL, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DONG. WHY DO I LET MYSELF GET MAD WTF IS THIS FUCKING BULL SHIT. I'M FUCKING PISSED. WHAT THE FUCK. HOW HFAOFHODHFDIAHFOIDFAIOHFIOADIHFDOIHFAIODHFDIFDIOHOI FUCK I WANT TO FUCKING DESTORY SOMETHING FUCK. I WILL FUCKING SHOW EVERYONE. EVERY FUCKING IDIOT WHO DOUBTED ME I WILL FUCKING SHOW THEM. I LOVE THE HATERS. BRING ON THE FUCING HATERS LETS FUCKING GO. ALL YOU FUCKING FOOLS WHO DOUBT ME I WILL FUCKING SHOW YOU FUCKING IDIOTS WHATS UP. JUST FUCKING WAIT. ALL THESE FUCKING IDIOT LEAGUE PROS WITH HUGE EGOS, OH FUCKING BABY I CANNOT WAIT TO FUCKING RIP THEM APART. I'M GOING TO FUCKING BREAK THEM ALL MENTALLY. I'M ITO FUCKING DOMINATE ALL THESE FUCKING CLOWNS, FUCKING RETARD IDIOTS I'M GOING TO SMASH THEM ALL FUCK. FUCK THEM AND FUCK ME. I'M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER ALL THE FUCKING LEAGUE PROS CUZ THEY ARE FKING IDIOTS. FUCKING VERMON. DOES THIS SELF ACTUALIZATION EVEN STUFF EVEN FUCKING WORK, LIKE WTF. I WANT FUCKING BLISS. I WANT FUCKING LOVE. WHERE'S MY FUCKING LOVE. WHO DO I HAVE TO KILL HERE TO GET SOME FUCKING LOVE. WTF IS THIS FUCKING BULL SHIT. IDIOT GOD, WHY WOULD YOU CREATE THE WORLD LIK E THIS. WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT GOD IS, GOD DAMM WHAT A FUCKING RETARD. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS IDIOT THINKING WHEN HE MADE THE WORLD. WHY DO IT LIKE THIS, WHAT A FUCKING JOKE. FUCK YOU GOD YOU FKING IDIOT. MAN ALL THESE FKING IDIOTS LIMIT. ME IDIOT FUCKING PARENTS, BUT THE BIGGEST FKING IDIOT IS GOD. GOD U FKING FOOL, WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU FKING CLOWN. I FKING BLAME GOD FOR EVERYTHING CUZ HE'S FKING RESPONSIBLE, HE'S FKING GOD. WHAT THE FUCK GOD, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING. FUCKING IDIOT. FUCKING FIX THESE PROBLEMS FOR ME, YOU FKING FOOL. FKING IDIOT GOD NOT HELPING ME OR ANYONE WHAT A FKING IDIOT THIS FKING GOD GUY IS. WHAT A FKING JOKE OF A GOD. FKING FOOL. WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE ME BETTER, YOU FKING IDIOT. WHY NOT FKING HELP ME WITH LEAGUE YOU FKING FOOL, I BLAME YOU FOR ME BEING FKING TRASH WHAT A FKING JOKE. FKING IDIOT GOD HELP ME GET INTO FLOW STATES. I WANT FKING FLOW WHEN I PLAY BUT YOU WON'T HELP ME BECAUSE YOU ARE A FKING IDIOT. FUCKING RETARDED GOD DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO HELP ME, FKING ALL POWERFUL BULL SHIT MOTHER FKER GOD DOESN'T FKING KNOW SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING WHAT A FKING FOOL GOD IS. I AM REALLY WORREID THAT GOD WON'T FKING HELP ME. I AM REALLY WORRIED THAT THIS SHIT DOESN'T WORK. I JUST WANT IT TO FKING WORK. I JUST WANT TO FEEL AMAZING THAT'S WHAT I FKING WANT. I WANT TO FEEL LIKE HEAVEN ON EARTH. I WANT HEAVEN. I WANT HAVEN, BUT WHERE IS IT. WILL I GET HEAVEN TODAY? WHERE IS HEAVEN? I AM WORRIED THAT I WILL NOT FIND HEAVEN TODAY, BUT NOW IS ALL THERE EVER IS SO IF IT'S NOT HERE THEN WHERE IS IT. WHERE IS FKING HEAVEN GOD? I'M FKING HERE WAITING, WHERE IS FKING HEAVEN YOU FKING IDIOT. I AM WORRIED THAT I WILL NOT FIND HEAVEN, WHERE THE FUCK IS HEAVEN YOU FKING IDIOT GOD. I AM FKING DISSAPOINTED WITH WHAT I'M SEEING HERE. I AM FKING DISSAPOINTED IN MY FKING EXISTENCE YOU FKING IDIOT GOD. WTF IS THIS BULL SHIT. I AM NOT CHALLENGER YET IN LEAGUE, I'M NOT DIMINATING EVERY GAME I'M NOT IN THE FKING ZONE WHEN I PLAY. WHAT THE FUCK, I'M SO DISSAPOINTED IN WHAT I'M SEE. I AM DISSAPOINTED INMYSELF. MYSELF NEEDS TO STEP IT UP, I'M SO FUCKING DISSAPOINTED WITH MYSELF LIKE WTF. ALL THIS FKING BULL SHIT IS OVERWHELMING. I WANT TO FEEL AMAZING. FKING IDIOT GOD HELP ME FEEL AMAZING. BUT YOU DON'T DO SHIT. I LOVE MYSELF. I HAVE COMPASSION FOR MYSELF. I APPRECIATE MYSELF. THANK YOU FOR THIS LIFE. THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY THE GAME I LOVE. JUST SITTING HERE WANTING TO FEEL AMAZING SO I CAN PLAY LEAGUE. I DON'T NEED TO FEEL AMAZING BEFORE I PLAY, BUT I WANT TO FEEL AMAZING. FEELING AMAZING IS FEELING AMAZING, WHO WOULDN'T WANT IT.

It's not meant for you or me or anyone who wants family, romance etc etc. It was designed for those gurus who sat alone meditating in the mountains and who wanted to live like a hermit away from cultural bondage. You need to account for the context here. They are not modern day motivational speakers with wife and family and a flying career. These were ancient hermits who lived and favored a particular lifestyle for themselves and their descendents It was a school and system that they followed very much like the rules or teachings of a catholic institution. You only have to apply nuggets that personally appeal and bring a progressive transformation in your life. Rest you need to ignore because it's not applicable to you but it was applicable to them in their time A lot of the eastern teaching of being away from society makes sense to Eastern people since back then (and even now but not often) societies were extremely oppressive and granted no freedom for spiritual exploration or even personal occupation of choice because of a rigid hierarchy. Hence running away from social burdens made absolute sense in terms of freedom and bliss

@Keyhole Yeah they CAN be distractions, but post-awakening life is literally meant to be enjoyed and embraced as it is. I know that relationships can be distractions on the path when you're a seeker, I considered this many times. If you don't think there's integration, then I'm sorry that's just incorrect, integrating awakenings is key. For example, Integrating 'my' awakening to love, involved a lot of changes in how I relate and my own relationships, as you literally know people are You, and operate simply from a place of love. Also, I used age to indicate the other guys' responses, as they were quite childish. Can you please explain what age has to do within my context? It's not like there's an age barrier to awakening, or realizing your own being. I am merely talking from direct experience of awakening to love, and the impacts it had and is having in my own life. Also, Distractions=The Path, if you can only live this understanding in a cave with no people around you then to me, that is not a complete understanding. True peace and happiness, is being at absolute peace and happiness, no matter the situation. I was like that for a while, I just wanted to sit in my room in bliss all the time, it is subtle denial of the 'world out there' instead of embracing this world as it truly is, here and now as The Buddha Planet itself. I'm also wondering about your own journey and awakenings if you don't mind sharing? Lastly, post-awakening what is there to distract you? Distract you from what? THIS is always it, here and now. But, I guess it's an individual thing like I said, not everyone wants or is ready for a relationship, it's like a must-have like our society makes out, it is simply about whether as an individual you wish to develop one, everyone is different.

Ayahuasca has helped me a lot. It's the only thing I have tried so far and it's cool. I get beautiful images in mind while tripping on it and I always get a sense of Bliss. Sometimes I cry on it.. This is how I feel on ayahuasca.

Ahhh. My awareness is shit! It’s so shit! I was looking at some old messages because now my life is not on the extreme happiness side and I saw how aware I was. I was so aware talking about things it triggered awareness inside of me. Now I’m sad. Like, throughout my day to day I am doing bullshit things to try and feel good. Why not just meditate or contemplate. Why Joseph? Why are you not enjoying life like before? Do you just get super happy and bliss out on life like before? No? What? You now sit down wishing for your old life back? Why? Why not just change it now. Meditation is key. Joseph just meditate and when you got a problem contentment that shit. Bring awareness on your problems and your life to make an amazing life. Clear the illusions. I used to be aware. I said things which I would not say now. I’m lonely as fuck. Today and yesterday I felt it. Before I could sit alone and laugh. I’m comparing myself to my old self. My life is honestly really great and I can do a lot. Just the lack of awareness. My goal is to increase my awareness as much as possible. Meditation non stop. Contemplating nonstop. I gotta get back into those habits which increased my love and happiness levels. To a place where I can stay and do nothing and bliss out on life. My new goal is to increase my awareness as much as possible. I’m done with low consciousness activities. I’m done. Edit: wow, just reading things I said from the past increase my awareness. I’m shocked by how much I knew! I’ve fallen. Ive become a fallen angel. Omg that is a perfect description. I’m a fallen angel trying to regain my holiness.