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Carl you literally think someone telling you that you need to awaken is condescending? Dude you are literally creating that. When Leo has stated multiple times that people needed to awaken to experience certain things I never took it as condescending. I did my own investigation. You know what is condescending when you referred to me as "people like you" and you know what I could have taken offense to that, but I didn't!! You know why? Because all offense is EGO!!! Anytime you have a problem with anything that happens in life that is self-bias and that=DEVILRY. The only reason you have a problem right now is because you are projecting your own devilry onto me. When you referred to me as "people like you" I had no reaction whatsoever because I understood the SPIRIT from which you were communicating from. I knew you were coming from a place of good intention. What you have failed to do Carl and you have been on the forums for years, is rid yourself of self-bias. Notice how you project ill intentions onto me. You really think I'm a Narcissist and I'm here for some validation? LOL that is the funniest shit ever!!! I could care less how someone feels about me because I have complete acceptance of what I am. The ONLY reason I post here is to facilitate the spiritual path of those on the forum. I studied Leo's content and many others with an open mind even when I thought they were off their rocker and I discovered they were actually telling the TRUTH. Solipsism is a realization into the TRUE NATURE OF NOTHINGNESS. This can only be realized through a STATE CHANGE. Anytime anybody argues about anything in Spirituality they are always arguing from a position of STATE. To reach a new state requires an AWAKENING that is how state changes occur. For example Leo claims to have become aware of ALIEN LOVE, I have not had that awakening so it would be accurate for Leo to tell me I have not had that awakening because I am not awake to that particular state. This isn't condescension its whats true. HELL CANCER, DIABETES is a state!!! You could say I haven't awaken to cancer and diabetes. Sure I know it conceptually, but I do not know it experientially. Being=Experience. So instead of assuming ill intentions on my part you could realize I am acting from good intentions as I know you are. Because I know you really think I'm some flaming Narcissist who gets his kicks off on coming here claiming someone isn't awake. But the truth is, you are just creating that. After all. I am just your mirror. How you choose to interpret me, that's your business.

Psychedelics fried the brain. Spirit is alien. But Consciousness isn't.

These are side topics not advanced topics of Consciousness they are bonus rounds you can take. Let's be clear. Alien consciousness is not an additional facet to awakening nor is insanity.

I plan to include this topic in my Awakening course which will cover advanced aspects of consciousness like insanity and alien consciousness.

Sometimes we ask questions on platforms not because we necessarily seek an answer, but because we are drawn to these places because of the people here, and as a form of self expression. You seem pretty clear where you stand in this. But I’d suggest pay attention to yourself if you feel drawn to places like this forum because that could suggest you have a craving (or even a need) for social interaction but that the ones you have irl is just not with the right people, hence unfulfilling. You can also have a craving without it being a need, meaning that your mental health won’t be worse off without it. That’s where I stand with socializing. I’m a bit of an alien. Most people are wired in a way they naturally need a degree of socialization, they would go crazy alone. You really have to dig deep into yourself. Do YOU need socialization, irregardless of what the science says that the brain needs, or what people here says is needed for development. Even if something has an effect on the brain, it might not be significant enough to have an effect on your conscious experience, hence it can be ignored. Also, craving/needing friends for “egotistical needs” like your own development isn’t wrong. People have friends to fulfill their own needs. Developmental needs are also needs. Having friends to learn more about yourself, to grow, to develop emotionally, spiritually, it’s all acceptable ways of relating to people. It might be different and extra self centered but it doesn’t make it wrong. The other person is also getting something out of it. Also pay attention to if you engage in “social” behaviors in your brain, let’s say if you find yourself talking to yourself, imagining debates, imagining convos. It might suggest a social craving/need So basically id say the vast majority needs a degree of socializing, be it from family, friends or a partner. It’s exceptionally rare to not need that. But you’re the only one that can find that out for yourself which category you fit in currently in your life

Shika-chan is the type of girl I feel compelled to impregnate. But this post is not about her. It’s about why all or almost all people from both the Northern and Southern Hemispheres have summer as their favorite season. According to her, summer is different from the other 3 seasons. It’s also the most active season because people tend to go outside and have fun. When I used to stroll through my regular winter walks in Japan, I often wondered why people stayed inside Conceptually, I knew it was because of the cold, but it never truly registered in my mind because I love the winter cold. With my down jacket insulating my body, the contrast of warmth around my torso and the crisp chill on my face became an enjoyable experience. Also, I became more active and productive in winter than summer ever did. I loved going outside precisely because of that invigorating cold. It rejuvenated my body and mind, spurring my energy and focus. I used to end my long walks with push-ups and pull-ups in the park and I noticed that I would naturally add an extra set during winter. I also loved the fact that I always found myself solitary. My usual walking paths weren’t in bustling city streets but in quiet suburban roads and parks. I barely saw people outside in winter, making my walks feel more spiritual. I feel as though I were solitary in the world and in the universe, which is probably the case at the highest level, because in the end, there is only God. Who else could exist but God? I have always been very different from the crowd since I turned around 20. As a kid and a teenager, I was normal and similar to everybody else, except for two moments: when I was 8 or 9 and asked my mother where money came from and who created it, and when I had a “schizophrenic” experience of my human life being a dream and that my parents were illusions pretending to be real. But overall, I was a normal kid. I watched and played ball games. I watched dumb TV shows and admired dumb celebrities. I was also a serious Christian, and my worldview was that of Stage Blue with a bit of Orange. But I changed when I turned around 20, without any effort on my part. In fact, I hated becoming so different and felt ashamed of it. I thought I was lost and had gone crazy. My question to God is “Why did you drop me on Earth?”. I feel as though I’m an alien. Even on this forum, which is supposed to be filled with non-normies, I still feel different.

@SandroewThe fear people have of solipsism is the same fear as the fear of death. Two truths you cannot handle. But once you become okay with one you become okay with the other. Something is telling me if you can see death is not real you must also be able to see solipsism isnt real. Or the universe is so way way bigger and exciting that it dosent matter at all. Just like death will be exciting. Scary but wow factor x 10. Leo has no idea that dmt is truth. Truth is something you see without a substance. Maybe a substance can make you see it but without him doing it solo he dosent know. I heard something crazy a dmt scientist say. He said when you smoke it an entity appears outside your body and you are actually expericing the entity. Basically you dont see out your eyes and light is shining through your eyeballs and projects into your brain and thats what you see. The DMT scientist said that when you smoke it an entity appears outside of your body and its so alien to any entity on earth, you see something that your body cant decipher and you are taking the alien into your body. The other person dosent see it cause they didnt inhale the entity (ghost) into their body. This makes sense why the native say spirits and shit because we are consuming alien entities that are interacting with us. If you smoke a drug you are creating a ghost essentially, that our eyes cant see.

I mean, macho guys can also get on my nerves when I've interacted with them in day-to-day life. Though I've never been close friends or had a romantic partner who was particularly macho, because of divergences in values. So, I don't really associate macho men with pain and trauma. They're just a bit annoying sometimes because they can sometimes be a bit bone-headed. But on this forum, I can't recall ever having any debates or disagreements with macho guys. There's really only a couple guys on here that I'd put anywhere near the macho category, and they're mostly pretty reasonable. They seem less likely to get in their head about women. It's usually the "brain in a jar" nerdy guys who come up with all sorts of weird gender ideologies (in lieu of real experiences with women) who I end up debating with. And they tend to have particularly inaccurate views on women as they tend to see us as a totally alien species from themselves and are always trying to understand women through complex intellectual frameworks that exaggerate men's and women's general differences... rather than through direct experience where a common humanity can be directly recognized. And it's difficult to reach them because they believe these ideologies are serving them, as it feels empowering to them in framing them as the stronger and superior ones. But these narratives don't serve them and are really just soothing their ego and holding them back from fulfilling experiences with women. But then it's also annoying and genuinely scary from the female perspective because it's like having all these distortions and inaccuracies projected onto you, as it makes it impossible to be seen and understood. And common humanity gets overlooked. Men who have these projections tend to have an idealized notion of femaleness and Femininity that conceptualizes of women's nature as something that fundamentally exists to serve themselves and to exist in an inferior role to them. And they project their self-serving narratives right over top of the authentic things about women's personalities... and frames real female authenticity as somehow Masculine or as a sign of societal corruption or as a trauma response. It's like the idea that, "If society was operating like it should, women would be Feminine (in the way I define it) and would exist to serve men." So, it views the real humanity of women as an aberration and mistake that humanity is making rather than as a reflection of the ordinary human nature that has always been there. And it aggravates ancient collective wounds because women have collectively suffered a lot because of the strange psychological projections and misunderstandings about women's nature. And that's because this projection phenomenon and the misunderstandings that it produces, has had such an insurmountable influence on culture and politics in a way that squelches women's capacity for authenticity, sovereignty, freedom, and personal expansion. So, it feels genuinely politically unsafe when a man is really up in his head about women because he's doing nothing but shadow boxing. And it's a really common pattern... and not just one-off instances of ignorant arrogance. And you can see how much these projections could lead to a loss of human rights for women. The way that we're going, I give it another 10-20 years before women's right to vote gets called back into question because of all these distorted notions people project onto women in order to try to "understand our nature". You just might not necessarily see the political danger of these projections and intellectual narratives when they infect a society, as you feel that they won't affect you. And you may even assume that women will be better off anyway if these projections are applied... as you believe it's a movement towards a more accurate framework of female nature. (Hence the danger) Consider how races and ethnic groups can be exploited, enslaved, tortured, and killed when another society projects over top of them... and uses those projections to justify their own terrible behaviors. Remember that white slave owners projected onto black enslaved people that black people are not full people and therefore lack the capacity for self-governance... therefore white slave owners are doing something charitable by governing the enslaved people. That's the unconsciously self-serving way that people operate when they have a collective interest in controlling and exploiting a people group. So, if you consider men's collective interest in controlling and exploiting women for their own gain (especially when those men struggle with meeting women and getting a girlfriend), you will understand why I push back so much on the perspectives that I do. So, it is the future collective political harm that I fear... not some upset feelings towards macho guys. It's not even remotely about relationship-related stuff.

Bruh. Stange-loop is the exact opposite of that. Strange-loopiness is what prevent GOD from fully knowing itself, even though GOD needs to be omniscient and fully sovereign by the logic of Oneness. It's the very definition of Mystery with a capital M. It's the transrational factor. It's what makes GOD to exist and not exist at the same time. Yes and No. God is one thing, it cannot be multiple things. But at the same time, it can. No. God is absolute and needs to be at all places at all times, there's no room for disconnection and not knowing itself. But at the same time, it can. No, everything must be the same thing. Everything is absolute. The words you are seeing on the screen is the whole reality. The whole universe is here. Did you grok what sameness is? The thing is, GOD must not be bound by rationality. I know it sounds bogus to our human minds, but GOD is beyond all limits, including logic and coherence. Everthing is known to GOD, but if that was the case, if knowing ends, that's a limit. It cannot happen. So GOD is always knowing, its a process, fluid and flexible thing, like water. It must be so because of infinity and the absence of limits. So in a sense GOD is not omniscient, it is always learning, and going, so this leaves room for unknowns, hence the Infinity of GODs awakening. I don't think Leo contacted Aliens perse, like some entity outside talking to him and giving him wisdom. It's just that I presume he discovered a radically new field of consciousness that allows for new sense-making and insight; and that it must be so weird that he named Alien.

"Strange-loop" is an euphemism for "superfluous". Can God be absolute and multiply itself? Yes. Can God create multiple things that don't know each other? Yes. So what is new here? The trouble lies in treating the things that are multiplied as their own absolutes, which is contradictory (as "absolutes" is relative). What you're actually pointing towards is the concept of the unknown, of postulating something outside what is known. If you're God and you know yourself as the absolute (empirically, through direct experience), you can theoretically postulate something (hypothetically) outside of that. But if you approach it rationally, for something to exist outside of God is antithetical to the concept (it's also ironically a kind of human neuroticism that gives birth to the entire exercise; a thought, hypothesizing, putting up a boundary, a limitation, often about the unknown and its associated fears). You might not know for sure whether the absolute you experience is indeed truly absolute, but rationally, the absolute has to be absolute. Rationally, God has to be the one true God. So the Infinity of Gods thinking essentially just entertains the unknown as a hypothetical while equivocating around the concept of God. If you want to cut the fuzziness and just get the bare points: yes, you can entertain the unknown as a hypothetical, but empirically and rationally, God is still the one true God. I think it essentially is. Aliens are not private property. But hey, I'm open to be absolutely blown away. The common thread through all high-dose, breakthrough, alien encounter trips, is "I communicated with and downloaded an immense intelligence that I have no way to communicate or even remember fully, but I know it was awesome". I think that's what this is.

@Carl-Richard I think you didn't quite grasp the significance of the Infinity of Gods video, otherwise you woudn't make this sort of comment. The Infinity of Gods video is the ultimate strange-loop(period). Can GOD be absolute and multiply itself in other absolutes but never truly know? Never truly encounter other Absolutes but intuit that it exists? But if GOD could do that would it be truly absolute and omniscient? Well that's the strange-loop and a consequence of unlimitedness. Yeah no. I don't think alien awakening is machine-elves or anything of the sort. Science only investigates, discover and understands things about reality. Carl-Richard: Are we supposed to be amazed when science investigates, discover and understands new and original things about reality?yes, dUh. What is there to be amazed in life if not to understand and explore new stuff? Just because pyschedelics increases consciousness, from that it doesn't follow that you will understand the same stuff I understand, and that it doesn't have uncharted territory never explored before. And definetly doesn't mean it easy to get there.

It's worse. I think the thoughts are superfluous. You can have an "unoriginal" thought which is straightforward and not all fat and no meat. Infinity of Gods to me is "if God is infinite, did you know we could have infinite cakes too?". And I'll be like "yes, infinite cakes, sure. Anything else I didn't already know?". Alien consciousness I suspect is something like "I took DMT and I realized there are intense levels of awareness and intelligence beyond our own", which is not even just literally what Terrence McKenna has said, but it's virtually the a priori of psychedelics gnosis. Psychedelics do virtually only increase consciousness. And we're supposed to be amazed when somebody says we can discover radically elevated levels of consciousness and radically different states of perception and thinking on them? Beyond human perception? Yes, dUh.

Lol, Infinity of Gods is "God is infinite" with extra steps. Alien awakening has not been laid out. But my feeling is it sounds like a standard DMT trip report with extra steps.

Well, ultimately nothing is independent because everything is connected -- Karma. But I would say here would be Infinity of Gods, and Alien Awakening.

There has only been talk of the remote possibility that comet 3I/ATLAS is an alien spacecraft approaching Earth. This appears in an article by astrophysicist Avi Loeb. But not everyone in the scientific community agrees, obviously.

This is so cool, thank you. Reminds me of stories I've heard about the space ships used by certain highly evolved alien species. Apparently these UFO's are like living organisms themselves, ie organically responding to its crew. Some are called light ships. @tvali

Denial of your human nature is low consciousness spirituality. Alien consciousness and shit is bullshit as long as you can’t upgrade your human body.

Most claimed originality is rather uniqueness. You didn't create it, but the way you express it, it's yours. It's rare to get such topics in spoken long-format video, with high production value, and by somebody who knows how to speak clearly and actually make themselves understood, without superficial or roundabout stuff (except the Infinity of Gods video, of course 😉). As for "Alien consciousness" or "Leo's deepest awakening yet which cannot be communicated" etc., nothing has been said there, nothing to say there.

@Someone hereNo identity but stuff is still there. Your parents created you via black magic. They stared at an object and pretended it existed as a word. The human brain is very powerful that it can create an identity about itself and it can be anything with imagination. God can go into any object and witness its inner working. The inner workings are ego, a repeated story about what has happened to that object. thats how the object holds form (exists as a space inside of God). Your keyboard is telling a story to itself about where it came from and what is happening and happened to it. It keeps doing it that's how you can use it. When people use drugs and go into objects they know instinctively Oh no I am trapped here forever! But the human is special it goes Oh no I am specifically not going to be trapped in here forever! Every object will have a thing in it that goes I am something, the human body is capable of witnessing the I am that is in everything. The thing that is not the ego, in every object.The constant between reactions. Death is just not reacting. When you stop reacting you can then go into objects as you will see you are that dead space between objects, not the objects. You were just experiencing the ego (story about the object) of the object you created. The human being has the power to say I am whatever I want where other objects do not get that power. The human can say I am a powerful alien on another planet and nothing else can do that. A cupboard cant say I am not a cupboard its stuck telling itself a story about itself.

Alright I was thinking about writing in the Journal and finally I got on to do it. So I guess I wanted to start off by attempting to explain my Awakening experience. The trigger point moving from Human Concsciousness to Universal Consciousness. So I keep using this term and I feel like it explains what I’m trying to say but I also understand we are going to interpret this as many ways as varied as we are. I was speaking with a woman that I met at the hostel last time and we’ve been writing over email back and forth. And I found that when I was speaking this type of language that she assumed differently than what I meant. I was telling her that I don’t completely identify as Human. And she said that she’s been saying this all of her life and even her children feel the same way. She was saying that she is from a different galaxy and she’s getting the opportunity to experience what a Human life would be like. But she’s not of this planet and looking forward to move from this planet and human experience. And I am open to people’s experiences and I went through the whole belief and direct experience explanation… which I know I’ll probably have to do again if we continue to have conversations. But I said I would like to hear how she gained this understanding. I told here there are so much I haven’t experienced for myself and I’m open to hearing all the unusual phenomena that we have. So I asked her what was her experience for her to understand that she’s from a different galaxy. I told her that when I say that I don’t identify as Human that I wasn’t saying that I’m an alien… or from another galaxy… or that I don’t completely love the opportunity to experience this Reality which we call Earth. This is not what I was trying to tell her. And I found myself trying to explain this trigger moment. And then I have been thinking about this approach as to how I’m trying to explain this experience. And I’m going to try to approach it differently on here. I’ve already tried to explain this multiple times… and I also understand that if one of us haven’t had this experience we willl not be able to understand what my words are trying to imply… but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to practice to clarify a bit more. So… fundamentally…. What has it been like to be Human? And we can talk about living and making decisions for survival… being me versus other and all of that…. Which applies in many ways when I’m talking about Human… but I’m just talking about my daily mundane and many times overlooked and not observed of being a Human. So every day as a Human I have thoughts that are going through my mind for me to understand the context of my reality. Sometimes there are unconscious thoughts that have been established and isn’t really noticed anymore. Let’s give an example… I’ve been waking up in the same room for about a year now. And this room is in a home and this home is in a town and this town is in a state and this state is in this country and this country in on this planet. Right I don’t have to consciously think about this every day… however; there is an unconscious context that places me in a location when I wake up on my bed. I open my eyes and my mind has filled in all the context that solidifies my location and since it’s a familiar location it’s ignored however it’s a hidden underlying security for the Human. Another given as a Human is that I have a body. With this body in my experience I have a head that has eyes and they see things… and when I’m looking at familiar things again things get ignored or become unconscious but when I see something different or new… my mind starts to want to figure out what is this new thing it starts to look at the surrounding and memories of past experiences or theory and ideas to see if I can figure out this new and different thing. I can remember that when I first saw a capybara… I had no clue what it was. And only recently did I remember that I actually had seen one before. I have started to see them online and thought it would be so interesting to see one and I in my understanding that they don’t really give out predator or prey vibes… many predators are not triggered by a capybaras presence… and I was talking to people about wanting to see one. And one knew what I was talking about and one did not… and as I was describing it… I realized… wait a minute… I have seen one of these guys when I was in Peru last time. But at that time…. I didn’t know what a capybara was or at least I didn’t remember it and it looked like a large hamster thing to me that didn’t seem to have a tail… it was in the distance and it was crossing the road and I remember trying to figure out what the heck was that. And there are many things in the jungle that is new to me… but I remember trying to figure out what that was and trying to place all the information around it to figure it out. And this again happens automatically for me as a Human. We can use this as another example of automatic Humaness is emotion… I was curious… I was wondering what is that? And I saw something new and unusual and thought it was cool and so happy that I got a glimpse of a new animal… I was relieved because it wasn’t dangerous and it wasn’t threatening… and so there were emotions and thoughts that automatically came and gone. There are so many fleeting emotions coming and going and thought coming and going… that it just seems like it’s always there and will always be there. It happens so much that it’s not noticed at times and taken for granted that this is something that just happens because we’re Human. It’s a Human thing. So this is what I’m trying to point to as not completely identifying as Human anymore… because I’ve had an experience where this was not present. None of this was present. I’ll go ahead and try to explain this trigger moment again and try to explain this after I’ve given this context. Can we try to understand what I’m trying to say? I’m saying that this is something that happens so frequently and abundantly that we experience Human-ess all the time. Well my trigger moment removed this Human-ness from me. I’m going to try to explain this but again in the moment… thoughts were not existing… so without thoughts there are not language or communication or words that were present. So all of this explanation came after this experience not during even though I’m trying to explain something as if it was being explained during the moment however this was not present because this defeats the explanation of having a non-Human experience. Why I’m trying to preface that if this is happening that I would have still been in a Human experience. If we find ourselves overwhelmed with thoughts, emotions, background context of our location in this reality and having a body… and it’s tied to a Spiritual Insights… than we are having an “awakening” experience… if this has been removed from our direct experience than we are having an “Awakening” experience…. So let me try to attempt the explanation with this in mind. I opened my eyes as if for the first time. First of all… I had no clue that I had eyes that were opening… I didn’t have a clue that this visual perspective was happening because I had a tool that is a body. I say for the first time is because it was my first time that I was just seeing whatever it was in front of my visual field was unknown to me. I had no background context to place me in a setting. I didn’t have memory of a location… i didn’t have an automatic thoughts of figuring it out. It was pure sight with innocence. People I say this to are like oh man isn’t that scary? And I remind us that scary is an emotion… I wasn’t scared… there was no fear… but I also have to explain that doesn’t mean that I was excited or curious or happy or anything… emotion was completely wiped away from my existence. There was no memory of emotion so again I was innocently seeing what was in front of me for the first time…. Regardless if I’ve been in the space for a month before I had this experience. In that moment it was extremely pure. Now this visual field for me started to move… again… I didn’t have conscious or unconscious thoughts of oh… my head is moving my eyes which is moving my visual field… I was just allowing this visual field to move and continued to watch. This visual field starts to move and it ended up landing onto a “body”… again in that moment I had no clue what a body was… and didn’t know that this visual perspective was connected to a body that was allowing me to see. It was as if I was seeing my body for the first time…. Pure and innocent without memory or context. For me it was just watching a screen with things moving… these things that were moving happen to be hands that was connected to a body which was connected to this visual field… but none of this was being explained to me with my thoughts. There is a blur in my memory at this time. Because I’m not sure if this was the first time I ever felt touch pure and innocent. I feel like my mind wants to fill in this blur as if it was the first time. Because I do remember these things in my visual field that we call hands ended up touching my body. I remember the visual field watching this happen and the hands touching my body and it was as if it didn’t really understand what it was touching. For me as I was thinking about writing this… that my eyes my visual was the main sense that was giving me the example to help my observation of this experience being dramatically different than what I’ve experienced before and also my thoughts and emotions… I feel like sometimes when I explain this that I say this is my first time I touched but honestly I’m not sure if I remember understanding this… because this again words to explain this is coming up with the resolution and solving the problem and filling in the gaps… and it sounds so much better to have a better cohesive story than saying that I really don’t remember these sensation of touch for the first time. Because I remember watching the visual field and it again was touching my torso and then started to touch its hands together and started to touch the arms that it was connected to…. My mind after recalling this moment wants to fill in the gaps that it was the first sensation of touch and wasn’t sure what the hell it was touching and continued to do it… and it wasn’t again doing in a scared manner or a gentle manner it was doing it and it continue to do it… and again my mind wants to say that it started to realize that not only was I having a visual experience but I started to have a tactile experience… started to explore and realize that all of these things are attached that this visual field is attached to this thing above the torso and it rotates and makes the visual field move and see different stuff. This visual field moved to see a person for the first time… and again it wasn’t curious or scared or understanding that it was looking at a human…. But the visual field just watched…. And after watching for a moment…. All of the Human-ness started to flood back into my experience. For me the thoughts started filling in all the context…. Oh shit… you are in a maloka… you just had a ceremony… this is the shaman you’re working with… we are at his center outside of his village… you are in Peru right now… you’re doing your dieta… what you were looking at was the malokas structure.. the screened windows and wooden walls and floor and this is your body… everything started flooding in and then my Human-ness was overwhelmed with what in the hell oh my god laughing and shaking my head in disbelief and toughing my head and face and body like what the hell just happened… oh my god what was that? Wow that was amazing holy shit what just happened to me? That has never happened before… Once I started hearing my shaman he was telling me that is “Passe”… this is what he was trying to tell me I have to do… And he said I learn fast… I just continued to be stupefied and shocked and ecstatic simultaneously. I had no clue what had happened but was so grateful to have gone through it. I knew there was a shift a very profound powerful shift that has changed me completely, but I still didn’t know it was Awakening. I had a completely different idea of what that was so I didn’t understand this…. But I knew something just happened… but what? I am very passionate during ceremonies and powerfully driven and moved by ceremonies. I get to the point of feeling invincible and motivated. I find myself wanting to share my love and care for everything and since this was the first time it had happened in this manner I didn’t understand that there was huge changes going on… but again my human—ness came back to me and so that includes memory and habits and conditioning… so I automatically started to focus on all the people I was with in this location. I wanted to share myself completely with everyone… I was going on and on for months and finally realized how extremely exhausted I was. And there were issues with my legs that were getting infected and I wasn’t caring because again I just didn’t grow up caring about myself over people. And a long story short I had to find a space where I could stop putting my focus on everything and start to observe myself. Now I do have experience doing this… hell I think this is what I’m a master at is observing myself… this is how I was able to get to experience this… was by observing myself throughout all the things. And this is how I could see how different I was approaching all the things… hehe… I think I thought about writing in my journal was because I watched Leo’s video about Fake Spirituality again… and there are just things that are brought up to my mind. Now I have to say this over and over again how much I respect and am grateful to have a Leo in my Reality… but I do see myself much more open to Fake Spirituality being important as well…. Hehe… I whole heartedly agree that many of us are caught up in our own “beliefs” and we really need to get more clarity on what “beliefs” are… specifically what our “beliefs” are and open ourselves to be able to have direct experience to validate whether our “beliefs” are valid, not valid, or don’t care to validate it… hehe…. I feel we could do a better job a communicating this to one another… I’ve been getting so much better at this as well when I’m communicating especially when I’m trying to explain the importance of understanding “beliefs”. When I’m talking about something I will give examples of what are beliefs… what started as belief and now found it to be an understanding and will continue to gain that understanding and what beliefs I have and really don’t have a desire to validate it… hehe… I don’t really have a strong desire to go onto a spaceship to validate this planet Earth is round or not… hehe… but I am open to having this experience… and if i do get a chance… then I can change that “belief” that I don’t want to validate to a direct experience that is not building on my understanding of the is Reality that has and is being created. I also understand that what I’m saying is not anything different from what he was saying… I just might say it differently… and I also might not be as pushy (not really sure if this is accurate but what’s coming to mind at this time) for people to Awaken. Just like the woman I’m emailing back and forth to… I was trying to get her to understand that we both do not identify as Human…. But how we came to this conclusion was different. She has not shared any direct experience of her being from another galaxy. She didn’t tell me that she’s been on a spaceship traveled to the galaxy she came from and felt her soul sing the language of this galaxy… hehe… or that an alien or entity of this galaxy approached her and was able to communicate to her that she’s not of this planet… she never responded with a direct experience and only commented on my experience…. And I probably shouldn’t assume, but she omitted a direct experience, because likely she hasn’t had a direct experience… it is some idea that she thought of from gathering theoretical information from multiple sources. I was waiting to hear something about intuitive download or something as well… I’m one who wants to open up any possible way to hear explanations… but so far there was nothing. The only thing that was on my mind was… man… is this the way we should be teaching our children? This is the way we teach our children, but if I get the opportunity and I do at times… this is not my approach. Now creativity and imagination is something I love to do with children… but there’s a difference. And I guess that is what is possibly why I want to touch on the Fake Spirituality… there can be a difference regardless of the approach. The difference is Us the ones who are experiencing the things we are doing…. We are at different degrees of Concsciousness participating in activities. We might agree everything is Spiritual…. And that is only determined by who is observing ourselves consciously in these activities regardless of what the activities are. And I trust we are all capable and are to whatever degrees increasing our Consciousness levels… we might be better in some areas than others… but regardless if we are increasing in one area… it spreads to all areas. And if we are drawn to explore different activities than do it and observe and watch ourselves and how we are either reacting or responding to it…anything can be a Spiritual practice to where everything is Spiritual. It becomes natural and what it is eventually… but until then… practice… hehe… in whatever we are participating in…. Hehe… fake spirituality or not… I guess I would have never guessed the insights I have gained by all the variety of activities I’ve had unless I tried them… and I guess I want people to try all the things and see where it leads us. I love how imaginative and creative we are… and excited to see how this morphs my Reality as well. We’re not making mistakes we are learning and discerning… and what might work for us might not be the same always…I guess I’m finding myself trusting the Universe more and more and maybe that’s why I’m not as pushy per se. Hehe… I’m not sure if I’m getting my opinion out there correctly but I can feel myself getting tired… hehe… and feel like I should be wrapping this up for this session. I have other thoughts I feel like I want to express… and honestly I’m not sure if tonight is the night to do it. There’s things happening in I guess my romantic life that I want to get off my chest but sleep sounds sweeter right now… hehe… alright yeah… this is where I’ll end it for tonight. Until next time… enjoy ourselves

"SPRING SUICIDE" Dosage: 75-150ug Height/weight: 6'1, 140lbs Setting: Public Beach Time: 8:00pm Mindset: Calm. Excited. No current major life events. Hopeful. A deep sense that today is the "right" day Intention: Wanting change, no matter it's form This would be my first time trying any psychedelic. I had decided on this day approximately a week in advance. One of the reasons I chose this day was because the full moon was supposed to come out that night. I guess I thought it would make it more special. In the past, I had read extensively about LSD, many trip reports, and understood its safety parameters, typical/atypical effects, and potentially significant risks--including brain damage and losing grip with reality. I've read about nonduality, panpsychism, and the limits of rationality in the past-- but on that particular day, much of that knowledge was not on the forefront of my mind. The day itself started off fairly normal; I had gone about my duties calmly and slowly--with intention. I don't know why, but I had skipped breakfast that day, which was unusual for me. For lunch (12:00pm) I went to the grocery store and bought myself a familiar meal I've eaten throughout the years—one that brings me comfort: Baked chicken thighs with fried rice. I slowly and deliberately enjoyed every bite of it in the peaceful solitude of my room. I remember watching Squid Game Season 2 while I was eating. For those familiar with trips—this may have been a bad idea, the violence of that series is not something I potentially needed in my headspace. I remember a song played during the episode, it was a cover of the Frank Sinatra song, "Fly Me to the Moon". I thought that was funny. I took a relaxing, untimed nap after my meal. Waking up, I felt amazingly refreshed and strong. Let us now skip to the evening time. At 7pm, I placed the ziplock bag containing the blotted paper LSD tabs in my pocket and set out on my walk. The walk to the beach was a little less than 1 hour, and I had checked that the sunset was happening around 7:50. Perfect. The weather was calm, clouds and deep blue skies with warm temperate air. It was spring! The walk itself was tranquil and memorable. My neighborhood had such colorful flora blooming in full glory that month. I walked with a slight smile. **When I finally arrived at the beach, I selected an isolated spot near the shore and on the rocks-- away from people. I wanted to be as alone as possible. I sat comfortably, and watched the sun start its descent. At 8pm I placed one of the tabs sublingually. I waited. The sky was starting to become hazy. Soon some stars emerged. Then, at about 8:30pm I noticed something. The waves in the distance were undulating, rippling in an impossible fashion. They started to ripple heavily into the air, as if the entire body of water was boiling and slowly evaporating into the air. This effect got closer and closer until it reached the waves closest to me. I was shocked. My eyes widened in amazement. I looked up at the clouds, they seemed normal. I looked away at the now darkening sky. It started to feel as if I was looking at it for the first time in my life. When I looked back at the clouds, their shape had completely changed from before! It had only been a few seconds since I last looked at them. It was, sort of funny. I attempted to reproduce the effect and looked away and then back at the clouds. It happened again! It was a slight distortion of the shape, nothing dramatic. But all of this felt as if the clouds were playing a big game of peek-a-boo, and I was the baby. It was kind of, hilarious... I started to chuckle. And then I started to laugh. I couldn't tell you why it was so funny. I started to laugh harder and harder. I couldn't stop. It was uncontrollable. I don't know if I've ever let out such deep, guttural laughs in my entire life. I felt like the Joker character, when only he's privy to a certain joke. But what the hell was the joke here? I suppose the clouds and I were just playing—like children. I continued crying and howling in laughter for almost 30min, attempting to suppress it in the in-between moments—but to no avail. Next, I gawked at the stars. One particular group/constellation stood out to me. After looking it up later on, I believe now that it was the Big Dipper. The stars Dubhe, Megrez, Phecda, and Merak stared back at me with an unimaginable and glaring intensity. Have they always been that bright? I could feel them looking, observing me with wide eyes. They gazed with a fierce, hot-blooded quality about them. It was almost terrifying, but impossible to look away. It was like this for a few moments. Then, just then, at that moment, they spoke something to me. Not in words, no, they spoke despite anatomy. Without vocals, sounds, or a chance of misunderstanding. At first, I didn't understand what was said. And then, horrifyingly, I do. Tears streamed down my cheeks, replacing the joyous ones from before. Sadness, with a staggering depth of which I didn't know was possible, enveloped me completely. I sniffled silently at first. The shape of the stars began to slightly melt. A few moments later I started to sob. I cried and cried until I was a wailing mess. I roared out sounds from deep within my diaphragm, sounds I didn't know I was even capable of producing. The stars now looked like wax dripping from a candle. They were crying too. They cried alongside me, with me, and for me. But why? I turned my sniveling head and soon heard the trees, grass, waves, clouds...everything, starting to cry. Weeping the saddest song I have ever heard in my life. It made me cry even harder. We were all in unison now. Like a chorus of melancholy. But why? What were we crying about? I continued to weep until I was keeled over and shaking; I wanted to ball up into a fetal position to feel safe. As I looked around, there was something there... I detected this presence. It was scary at first, but soon became comforting, as if to say, "it's ok, you're ok". I felt "myself" slip away in sadness as the universe and I continued to cry together. The process continues to occur inexorably. Around maybe 30-40 more minutes of this and it finally dawned on me what was happening. I understood. Of course, we were, all of us, mourning. Mourning a death. The death of "me". No, not my body. That was still intact. My heart was still beating. It was the death of me. The identity, the problems, the stories, the lies, the truths, the ugliness, the beauty, the memories, all of it, was dying. All of it was being burned into ashes and thrown into the wind. I found no reason to resist. I surrendered. On April 12, 2025, I died. As I calmed down, I could sense "my" mind working faster than ever before. Allowing it to happen, the lethal realization of before settled into me. I stood up, as if born again. I understood the "joke" the clouds were babbling about earlier. It was my life. A grand joke in its entirety, until now... and today, the punchline was grasped. Nothing could be funnier. I let out a contorted chuckle. I could now view myself from multiple perspectives. The vantage point of the stars was now mine. Same with the trees. "Nature" was, in every essence, me. I looked down at the grass, and I could see myself! As if looking from behind the mirror. I walked and the grass beckoned for me to touch with my bare feet. I "spoke", "maybe next time!". The grass laughed. I heard the waves crashing against the dock and it called to me. I walked towards it and reached the edge. Looking above the water, the night sky was so brilliant now. I was thankful for a clear night. I did a 180, turned around and then saw it. The full moon, teased just slightly above the tree lines of my neighborhood. My jaw almost hit the floor as I beheld it. Such absolute beauty! I knew it was on the rise and I wanted all of it. I walked toward the local hot dog store and called an Uber. I knew I was in no condition to undertake the hour walk back home. I waited. My mind grasped the trees. They whispered jokes. I snickered and chuckled like a madman. The stars, clouds, grass, and trees all claimed that they were always here! That it was always like this. That I just never noticed them They asked if I would kindly return one day. I promised that I would. I probably looked insane to an outside observer. I exuded disorder. Finally, when the driver arrived, I entered after asking the name, and we took the drive to my address. We made some small talk. I tried to behave and keep repressed the emotions that were rising inside me. I remember the driver commented on the moon. I let out a contorted chuckle. After we reached my home, I thanked him and wished him a good night. As I walked up the driveway to my stairs, I could feel something, this energy rising inside me, I knew it would surface soon. I. HAD. TO. GET. IN. MY. ROOM. I opened the door to my house and, unfortunately, my roommates stood there, one in the living room, the other close to the kitchen. I will refer to them as (not real names) Abe (he/him) and Zoey (she/her). I had told Zoey about my intention to use LSD that day, but the only thing I wanted at that moment was solitude. Abe: "Hey bud" Zoey: "Get any cool visuals!?" Me: "Oh fuck". Abe: "Alright, let's get you grounded" Zoey: "Nope" I left immediately. I walked outside for a bit, unable to take my eyes off the moon. It was SEXY. That was the only appropriate word. I wanted to fuck its brains out. Like my survival depended on it. I needed it. But I also wanted to make love to it slowly... That energy inside me threatened to let itself out. I knew I wouldn't last long now. I decided to wait outside in the backyard until my roommates left the living room because I didn't want them, or anyone for that matter, to see me like this. The backyard we had was large. I stepped into its clearing and sat under the trees and flowers. The tree branches were lit by yellow wire-lights set by our neighbor. It looked so beautiful. As I sat there, the fallen leaves on the floor started to move and shift their shape. They matched my breathing. Every breath I took in, was an inhalation mirrored by them. I exhaled. The shapes of the leaves twisted and bent into serpents. Luminous, bright serpents, about 1 foot long, now slithered toward me. I welcomed them. They appreciated my permission, wrapped around my legs and slowly made their way to my torso, arms, then head. They were divine. I could hear them next to my ear, whispering secrets which seemed to "reprogram" my neurology. My thoughts raced. My breath quickened. I could feel my pupils dilate to their maximum capacity. I was becoming inhuman. I felt like a painting or a piece of art. I never felt so beautiful. Not in a vain sort of way, I just felt no shame in that moment. I could have been naked and it wouldn't have mattered. Then, I remembered my objective. I stood up and started walking. I made my way to the driveway again and caught sight of the moon. It was comically large now. I've never seen such intense glow. It was almost too much. My heart beat faster. I was completely seduced. I squirmed at the sight of it. I tried to calm myself. It screamed for me to come. The energy inside of me was rising up my spinal column...I didn't time this correctly, did I? I knew I had to go into my room and be in privacy. But I decided to wait out a little longer outside. I went to the local park next. Luckily nobody was there. I stood on the grass, breathed deep and sighed. There was one dim white streetlight, but everything else was very dark otherwise. However, the trees and the grass in the park were soaring with vibrant green. It was stunning. I wanted to sink, to be fully gone and be one of them. The beauty was too much for me. Barely able to stand anymore, I dropped to my knees. My palms found themselves placed on the grass. Both hands start to meld and dissolve into the earth. I was frozen. I let it happen. I didn't want to move. And the moon watched all of this. The energy rose higher up my spinal column. "I. MUST. GO" I power walked back to my house. As someone who gets cold very easily, I could feel my body perceive the outside air as too cold, but the energy inside of me burned with such heat that it didn't matter. As I walked, I exclaimed every couple of seconds, "Ah I get it! Hahaha, I get it now!" "Oh, you sexy thing", I kissed the moon goodbye, she winked back. I opened the house door and quietly crept downstairs to my room and locked my door, hoping not to disturb anyone. FINALLY. My light was on. It NEEDED to be turned off. My clothes were on. They NEEDED to be stripped off. I felt the rush of that "first time" feeling when you are about to have sex with someone you've been having intense feelings for (if one would be so lucky as to experience this). I turned on my corner fan to drown out any possible noises I may make. My bed is essentially a sleeping bag and mattress on my ground carpet. I crawled into a ball on the far corner of it, naked as the day I was born, and felt safe. There was no turning back now. My mouth dropped open from heavy breathing. Despite the cold, I started to sweat. My heart was pounding faster and louder. My brain was on fire. My spine burned from the rising. I perceived that this may get violent. I felt near apoplexy. I was blind, yet my vision was supernatural in its clarity and realness. I hallucinate. Scenes of psychic divinity stretching onward into geometric patterns of unwinding infinite complexity. I grasped the wholeness of it. The room was not my room anymore. It was alive, breathing deep alongside me. Everything inanimate was animate. Everything "other" was me. We were intertwined, inseparable, and as one--similar to the nature I perceived outside.Then, a thought occurred for a fraction of a nanosecond, "WAIT...ALL OF IT?"..."ALL OF IT!" I became extremely lucid, then broke through a threshold. Human larynx and language limited me now. There was only one word I couldn't help but utter after that. "GOD" Coiled and wrapped around my cervical vertebrae, the "energy" vibrated, then leapt, and finally latched onto my brain, proceeding to penetrate my very soul. My eyes rolled up and back. I went limp. My body convulsed and shook. My mouth gasped at air. My legs started to shake. ORGASM. As I exhaled, every few minutes, I moaned out softly, "OH..MY...G-O....G-OD..GOD". I dared to scream until the neighbors called the police. "OHHHHHHHHHHH GODDDDDDDDDD!" There were earthquakes all over my body. Every cell of my body pulsed, achieving orgasm simultaneously. I writhed uncontrollably, violently. My abdominal muscles contracted and went into spasms. At long last, I penetrated the moon, a conjured substitute for the universe, and each micro and macroscopic part of my soul ejaculated. And yet I was being penetrated and having a double orgasm at the same time. How paradoxical. How appropriate. I understood the phrase "mind-fuck". My body was drenched in sweat. I heaved and gasped hard to keep up. This lasted for the next 7 hours, with each orgasm pushing further and further, crashing through me like waves on a shore-- to ever increasing heights of bliss. I felt love. It traced my form like soft fingers. It felt like that once in a lifetime kind of love. That first reciprocated love. To love completely, and be loved unconditionally in return. Everlasting. Fireworks. I understood the Hindu word, "ananda". For brief moments, my normal perception returned. Brief respite, but pained frenzy. My tongue drooled. Every fiber of my muscles twitched in post-orgasm. It was almost too much to bear anymore. How can something be THAT pleasurable? Terror and hysterical laughter at the thought...Then back to a perpetual explosion of fucking and being fucked. I achieved critical mass. I became an infinite dragon. Clad in turquoise armor, completely dilated black eyes, and possessing breath of creation and destruction; but granting immortality unto itself. A humming echo returned, as if always there, but remembered only now, like a triggered memory. My mind raced further-further back. The story of my life? Where was I from? Really, truly, from? A womb? But what about the source? Infinite regress. My vagina stretched wide as I screamed. A distant memory. I then gave birth. To a child—myself. MOTHER AND EARTH = I. The solar system, galaxy, clusters, void...I expanded further and further to include everything. Everything that has, is, and will ever exist. I was all and thus was the same for every "other". But we can go even further beyond. I willfully [hallucinated] existence. Alternate timelines—infinite possibilities and universes. Infinite variations in the laws of math, physics, chemistry, biology. If it is imaginable, it exists, somewhere, sometime, someplace. Minutes passed. I could hear the morning birds. As I creaked open my eyes, I was still on the mattress, hands clenching my hair. My sheets soaked in sweat. My throat was raw, probably from the screaming. I sat up and then stood. It was around 8am. The trip had lasted approximately 12 hours. A wave of tiredness came over me. I'd been awake all night. I looked at my hands. They looked foreign. Alien. Then came slow revelation. "I" understood now the mechanism of my thinking. I knew precisely how understanding happened and how it is recursive. "Self-aware" and "awake" are words that found new meaning. I felt more "sober" than I had ever been. I could see now how my mind operated. With almost every reaction to "reality" being a process born of identity and trauma. I saw the mental connections forming, interacting, and how every person is like this. We are the same. Seeking to love and be loved. Our survival depends on it. I was overwhelmed by all this new input. It was days and weeks before I controlled this new flood of filtering; underpinning sex, aggression, self-preservation, all the while disguised as "rational thoughts". I recognized how much of this is the cause of my mood, my motive-- behind every micro-action or decision. My memory and ability for pattern recognition felt easier and faster. Put simply, I felt more "aware" than before. I could see so clearly now that societal constructs, socialization, and socializing was-- low-- and at times--- high-stakes, survival. Survival of ideology, identity, goals, hopes, dreams, and stories we tell ourselves. These were necessary. A perfect balance of life. It was perfect. I do not claim to know the entirety of absolute truth/nature of the universe or that I am now all knowing. After contemplating, many questions still linger: The "perfect balance" of life is perfect and undoubtedly has meaning, but what is the meaning behind it? I do sense that what I grasped was merely one facet of a larger truth. This truth, I intuit, has infinite facets. Grasping them all in a lifetime is [impossible], but exploration/curiosity does drive me to seek and grasp further. Continued exploration of psychedelics [more responsibly next time] is needed. But for now, gratitude filled my cup. I had more to give. -Thank you for reading

If you don't have women in your social circle, then your social circle is just incomplete. The social circle is ideally meant to be like the village... and that has always been the way we've co-existed throughout the vast majority of human history. Before going through all the approach methods for dating purposes, I recommend interacting with people in general (men and women... ideally a mixture of peers and people of all ages). And just focus on building acquaintance-ships and friendships with men and women... including women that you don't find attractive. When you don't have a particular type of person in your social circle (in this case, women) it will make you feel like that kind of person feel is like an alien "other" to you, and it will feel difficult to relate to them beyond one specific agenda or idea. I see a lot of young guys who don't socialize or only socialize with men having this problem with meeting and interacting with women. You can resolve this issue by building yourself a more complete village-like social circle as your primary social goal. And that will give you a more platonic and detached habit of making connections with people without an agenda. And in that process, you will get better at socializing in general and you will come across as more normal and socially adept to women. Overall, it's kind of like the advice of "Don't go to the grocery store when you're hungry"... only it's "Don't approach women when you're starved for basic social connection (or basic social connection with women in particular)."

@Inliytened1 But there would be. It's the logic of God and (non)duality. For example, length only occurs if there is a separation between two points so that you can measure from one object to another. Otherwise, you just get infinity in all directions, which is essentially infinite length. Now, sure, can you create alternative realities where lengths are measured in centimeters, millimeters, elephant stomps, golf carts, alien ⠋cryptic ⠋⣁⡞⠁language, etc.? Yes, of course, but the universal principle of needing two separate points to define length remains, no matter which reality you go to. The same applies here. You can imagine infinite absolutes and countless more infinities, but the fundamental principle remains: for a separation to occur, there must be a separate 'boundary' or something 'separating' the difference. And the key question is: what is that space made of? Vacuum? How did that appear? Intergalactic alien fluid? Who created that, and what's the substance of it? How did that come to be? If you say God made it, then it's God, God separating Himself into gods. This still falls heavily into duality. "Each their own entity" still means there is an 'end' to one and a space between the 'start' of another. Again, the question is: what's separating the two? Hence, repeating the same question. As I acknowledged above, I accept the notion that within God, there can be infinitely many absolutes separate from each other, but not outside of God. That is false.

@Natasha Tori Maru Yes, he claims using psychic abilities to contact Alien intelligences.

I shared it thinking they were going to be as invested as I was. I was wrong lol. My father's gf said Leo was an alien