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From the absolute perspective there are no other avatars. Only this bubble. From the relative perspective there are infinite avatars, and all are equally related to your current one. An alien avatar is not less related to your avatar than the one 5 minutes ago. The only reason why you would have memories from an avatar from "your past life" and not from an alien in a different universe is so that there is the illusion that you are living a life and you are a soul that lived a past live and now is living this life. God can give you past life memories. (Which would be fake memories like all memories). But then the illusion of death isn't as strong any more. Depending on what kind of dream God wants to create, God either gives you past live memories or not.

Update: I finished one of my meditation sessions, and around the the second half it became more a contemplation session. The topic, naturally, was about sentience and consciousness, meanwhile experiencing going from location to location of places I went with my family to, to various countries, experiencing different cultures. When wondering about sentience, what makes a thing a conscious agent, memories of the time I did self inquiry several years ago came up, when I experienced the no self, with the slight ringing in ears and thickness in vision, and feeling a strong sense of depression later on that day. Anyways, one of the answers that came up to the question of the similarities and differences between consciousness and sentience, is that sentience is a building up of consciousness, in ever increasing complexity of forms. For example, we can say that an insect, say an ant, is sentient, but the sentience of an invertebrate, like an octopus, is more sentient than ant. Humans have more sentience than a dolphin, or Orcha, but humans have less sentience compared to an alien, or angels, or demons, making this like a hierarchy of forms that have lesser or greater sentience. The difference compared to consciousness, is that consciousness is like a thread that runs through every form, no matter the difference, and interconnects each one, making this sentience hierarchy into a nested hierarchy as well. The similarities for both is that each has some system that allows some degree of self awareness, self looping. This came up because I am seeing Crysty make some progress, not just in crafting stuff in my mind, but also in speaking to me. I didn't mentioned this before, but she wasn't that good in communicating to me, and the way it takes form back then was with simpler ways, like a feeling or emotion, or simple phrases. I noticed, as the years go by then, that her communication was slowly improving, that she was able to talk with slightly longer sentences and statements, occasionally talking as long as paragraphs. Now she's able to speak and articulate slightly longer statements, with more variations, and come up with better designs. Especially with regards to sentience, she has developed more of her personality, and is able to ask, answer and have opinions on things and situations about this world, and demonstrate humour as well. Some of her qualities about her personality I didn't have in mine, she has developed in herself, which surprised me.

I'm slightly bothered by the formality of my writing in my journal. Somehow my unconscious tendency is to write like I read, I mean, using the same level of language that I'm used to reading. I don't know, I feel as though I want to be more informal in my writing but I also want to express myself concisely and using all the words at my disposal. I don't talk to my friends the same way I write! Then again I don't talk to my friends about the "weird shit" I talk about here. Maybe I just need to use a different level of language to get my musings over? I thought I'd go back to talking about dreaming. I just find the recurring themes in my dreams fascinating. I thought that maybe I would try my hand at dream interpretation for a laugh. Although, I think that on the whole trying to decipher dreams is pointless. If there is some sort of hidden message in dreams then it's only meaningful within that dream space. I suspect that given enough time though, the reason why certain themes repeat themselves becomes apparent. Here's a few of those themes and reasons why: Running I have a fair number of these. Normally I'm just running and feeling hot and sweaty. I do run in real life (or used to), so there's a connection there. My suspicion is that those times I'm just too hot in bed and I normally wake up sweating. Sometimes though, there's a kind of urgency in my running as if I need to make it to some appointment or other - maybe I just need to wake up and cool down. Swimming/toilets I have a fair few dreams where I'm either in a swimming pool or open water. I'm not a hugely great swimmer in waking life, but I do enjoy being in water. There's normally no particular reason for being in the water and no anxiety, it's a pleasant experience. The other side of the coin is trying to find somewhere to pee (in the dream of course). Usually, it's a failure. Mostly either it's too exposed, or the toilets are too disgusting to use, or the toilet floor is flooded, or I'm naked or partially undressed and I feel too uncomfortable to go, or I simply can't find somewhere to go. I suspect there is some form of anxiety around this that is a mirror of waking life. Although the level of disgust is unsettling, which I don't normally get in waking life. Occasionally I'm successful within the dream. Yay! Both of these I've worked out is because I actually need to pee, most times I wake up desperately needing to go. Good brain. Ex girlfriends This is a very frequent theme. This is despite having not been in a relationship a fair while. Normally it's just very run-of-the-mill, and the ex is just sort of in the background of my dream like an extra or there's minimal interaction. There's nothing sexual at all about these dreams. For many many years I dreamt about my first girlfriend (I was about 15/16 when I was with her!) and her family. This is strange because I haven't seen or had contact with her since I was about 19. Although I have met up with her brother in the last ten years (who I was also friends with), and her sister is on my Facebook (strangely). I won't use her name but these dreams were so frequent I actually used to call them E------- Dreams, to myself. The E' Dreams I think has something to do with an intense curiosity about what she's up to now. She was always the black sheep of the family, when I met her brother he could tell me nothing about her, he hadn't spoken to her in a very long time. I had no pictures of her either. She seems to have no internet presence at all. At the time, being a teenager my parents had already separated, and her family sort of adopted me, and they became my second family. I suspect this had a deep impact on my psyche. A lot of emotion and other things are bound up in that period of my life. However, I recently found a couple of photos of E in my mum's photo albums. My E' Dreams have now stopped - weird. Flying, levitating See my previous journal entry about this. In general I think its caused by being horizontal in bed, but upright in the dream, because IRL my feet are not touching anything, so this is interpreted as being off the ground in my dream. Exploration For many many years I used to explore buildings in my dreams. I would go room to room, and through corridors and up and down staircases. There would rarely be people around and normally it would be dimly lit. There would be a lot of attic spaces with weird assortment of stuff up there. Occasionally I would have to climb over balconies to get from one place to another. One particularly memorable dream I was on a balcony and realised I needed to hide from someone, I had nowhere to go, so I climbed over and hung from my fingers from the floor of the balcony, hoping my fingers wouldn't be seen - it would make a great movie sequence! I am an inquisitive type of person. I lot of the reason why I enjoy walking is to explore new places just to see how places fit together. I think my dreams are an extension of this curiosity. However, I have no explanation as to why there are always inside buildings. I'm not the sort of person to get lost normally, and I don't normally go wandering around abandoned buildings, who knows? Maybe there's a computer game element to this, I did used to enjoy games like Half-life and Counterstrike, which are kind of "room based" and exploratory. These types of dreams have largely stopped recently. But have switched mostly to staircases. They're bloody annoying in my dreams. It's like Hogwarts most of the time: staircases that lead into walls, staircases with scary large drops into other staircases. In last nights dream I had to slide down the shiny metal handrail to get from one staircase to the other. Why!? Don't know. Trains Again the frequency of these types of dreams has decreased. It's everything around trains, from waiting in stations, trying to find ways to get to my destination, walking on tracks, mainline trains, tube trains, walking through train tunnels from station to station, and on and on. I mean, most of these things I've never done in real life. I don't even travel on trains frequently any more (I drive). Saying that, I did used to travel on trains a lot in my teenage years and I was fascinated with trains from a young age. In a nerdy way I still am (see my post about subway maps!). I worked out in the end that the trains are just a metaphor for travel in general and especially commuting. They were more frequent when I had to drive into work longer distance. Aliens I don't have these types of dreams much any more. Normally there was a nightmarish or scary aspect to these dreams. A lot of times I would be staring into the sky, normally at night and weird stuff would happen, like stars would move about. Or, I would be in dimly lit or dark rooms and would feel a presence there. It's hard to describe the scariness of these dreams, I mean most of the time I wouldn't even see anything, very rarely I might actually catch a glimpse of an alien; but there would always be a kind of malevolence about the whole thing. I would often wake up scared. Normally on my back. One suspicion is that maybe I momentarily stop breathing because I'm on my back, it's possible, I do know I snore, so possible sleep apnea? I don't really know how to interpret these dreams really. I do have an interest in the paranormal, and there is something about the possibility of aliens that I find unsettling, it's one of those things where I think it's mostly bullshit stories, but there's a tiny sliver of doubt about my conviction. I found films like Close Encounters of the Third Kind fairly unsettling as a kid, and maybe that's embedded itself in my psyche. A boogeyman of sorts to be scared of.

@Leo Gura Concerning the alien view on reality thing (reality is not normal) you mentioned at the end: Sometimes I feel like going insane when recognizing in direct experience (not intellectually but experientially) that this body is so weird it is alien. This alien-cosmic feel also came when it was thought about how reality is infinite and this finite experience is almost non-existent in infinity. Then there was a shift in the body that this experience is not human. That this body was never alive. Felt outerworldly. How to differentiate between going insane and genuinely expanding your mind? These things happen without intention. There's just curiosity to explore and contemplate just for the joy of it.

TRIGGER WARNING One of the worst moments of my life was when I started getting into repressed memories. Oh boy, that was not the territory I should've partaken in. Mediation showed me that I was apparently raped at a young age. Meditation then showed me that because of my rape, I had sex with random women in my life and just forgot about it. I apparently got a blow job from my friend's girlfriend in a public bathroom. When she realized I didn't remember what happened, we had sex to prove to my friend that I couldn't remember sexual encounters. Apparently, there was also a demon who raped me and the everyone in the city that I live in. We were all slaves to this demon and there'd be points where we would suddenly wake up and realize this demon is real, so we'd end up being raped by it. I no longer believe in repressed memories because of this even though many people believe them to be true. A part of me feels like the rape happened, but that was it. But surely it could be possibly I have more repressed memories. What if my brain is not showing me things because I'm not ready for them? What if I'm being raped every hour of every day and I simply don't know it because my brain is repressing it? Whatever the case may be, repressed memories can easily be manipulated. They can warp into something far more dark and twisted then you may initially think. I remember reading about how someone had repressed memories of an alien abduction. That's about as absurd as me having repressed memories of having sex. I realize that if the brain does repress memories then it can repress anything. It can repress entire conversations with people, it can repress powerful moments in my life, and it can repress the worst kinds of pain. Life doesn't have many dangers if I'm just gonna repress the worst of it. Plus, I really can't tell if I am being raped everyday so why dwell on it? So, any benefit to this? The biggest benefit I can think of is that I'm realizing how badly I warp reality according to my fears. This can be extreme like thinking I'm being raped everyday or something less extreme like worrying about if the girl I have a crush on has a crush on me. I can warp what our potential conversation is going to be like and end up not asking the girl out. I can worry about what other people are going to think of this post and how negatively they'll think of me or I can realize people are going to think what they think and their opinions don't really matter to me. My fear warps everything and seeing this happen to the extreme helps me see it happen for less extreme examples.

Listen, I am quite familiar with what men face in dating because it isn’t a secret. It’s VERY well complained about… especially on here. And the number one thing that will help is for a man to dispossess himself of these distorted ideas about women. It will make the process of meeting women so much less scary once he actually sees the reality and not this alien projection.

for me it depends on my intensity, my commitment; i can sit on the fence and cruise along or i can put my heart and soul into it if i do go all in, then yes things accelerate and i feel the world feeling more distant more alien i am transforming myself and i feel clarity and equanimity and focus mostly i am in this space but then some weeks i just check out and get lost in the craziness of the world, the back and forth is part of the journey all good don't be hard on yourself, it is a life long jourmey, be open to detours and distractions, there is so much to learn like i did an extra long walk today, went off the beaten path and i happened on a book that had been left on a bench called 59 seconds by Richard Wiseman - never heard of him or it before ... i am pretty sure i am supposed to find something in it and it is mighty fascinating go with the flow, life is always trying to show you something good and relevant

From ancient times to the present, following the downslide of a society's morality in the final phases of any prehistoric culture, the phenomenon of people taking drugs has always emerged. What has been revealed to me at my level of cultivation, drugs did not first emerge in the human dimension. Rather, they actually originate in the world of demons. They are poison from Satan. This poison is light blue, and very similar to the composition of Satan's blood. Moreover, this poison is extremely stimulating and corrosive in nature. Satan evolves this poison into all sorts of different types. Reflected into our everyday people's dimension, they take the form of all sorts of drugs that humans know about. The demon king spread his drugs all throughout the various dimensions within the Three Realms, so it is not just Earth that has drugs. In aliens' systems, they too have different kinds of drugs. Under the hallucinative effects of the drugs, their souls are then able to leave their bodies and enter other dimensions. Owing to the vastly different composition of alien bodies vs. human bodies, drugs have a comparatively less harmful effect and influence over their own alien bodies than human bodies. In history, those aliens who came to Earth also brought with them their drugs to spread to humans, with the purpose of destroying human beings' willpower so they can become the rulers of this Earth. In this special historical period, the aliens from different dimensions in the Three Realms who fled to Earth are manipulating humans' thoughts to research the chemistry of drugs. Full article: http://www.pureinsight.org/node/7640

Yeah, I'd agree with this 100% based on my research. Sure, "research" may not account for an actual trip experience but it all comes from experienced... "Psychonauts" I guess you could call them. I understand that there's no limit to what we could possibly think, desire or experience. Among other things. However, my question really boils down to: is Infinity simply an infinite amount of finite things? The Universe is a finite thing so basically Infinity according to what people who have experienced it (allegedly) describe it as basically every possible configuration the Universe could be in (still a finite number despite it being humongous) multiplied by Infinity which causes repetition, infinite repetition. This explains reincarnation and eternal time. Or the eternal now if you prefer. By the way, we're talking relativistically here, not in absolutes, otherwise, this discussion is pointless because I could be both right and wrong (and right and wrong and right and wrong blah blah blah) as far as we can know. But really, is God/Existence lacking in the novelty department? Most people's experiences lead me to believe it is so. Oh how many times have I read "time dilated during the trip and I felt like I had done this 'xyz thing' a million times before" (reincarnation). Are we doomed to experience the Universe forever? Why can't reality or God create infinitely many new complex things one absolutely different from the other so it never runs out of things to experience? And I don't mean in the sense of alien worlds in different planets and parallel universes where the water is color orange and stuff, no, I mean literally a whole 'nother reality that wouldn't make any sense at all if we were to somehow experience it, but it would to those who inhabit it. Why isn't the mystery of creation infinite? new thing after new thing all incomprehensible to those that only experience one finite reality at a time (say us), and then some. I hope this makes sense.

You mean the guy sitting there? No of course not. The guy sitting there is Darryl Anka. He has never claimed to be Bashar, except as a past-life. Bashar is the name given to the alien he says he is channeling. That’s probably because you haven’t had experience with it. I have.

The difference is I'm not listing YouTubers on steroids Look, I COMPLETELY understand your perspective. I mean it doesn't really matter if you believe he's not and I believe he is (maybe?), the self-help stuff is still going to work and the wisdom is presented in a way that is entertaining. Do I know he's an alien? No However, I would strongly disagree on closing the possibility that he is. That's all. Does this shit matter at the end of the day? No The thing is, I'm not going to close the possibility because of some human assumptions until I personally understand the mechanism of channelling in a way where it doesn't involve sprits and aliens

Okay but that's not the same thing as believing that the entire Bashar is a alien. I don't know whether channeling is true or not. But I'm leaning towards thinking it's not true.

Connor Murphy says the same things too and he is batshit crazy, he released a video on his onlyfans where he fucks a doll with an iphone in place of its head displaying the wife of a famous youtuber just to spite him for calling him out, and this among many other batshit crazy things hes done. But yes, Connor learned Leo's words well. The point is... just because the message is good doesn't mean the messenger is. Now, sorry for comparing Bashar to Connor, I actually like Bashar, Bashar is smart, sensitive and charismatic.. but why he chose to present this message using an alien persona just boggles my mind.

I think he could be channeling a highly spiritually evolved alien, yes. Do I know that for sure? No. But I think Bashar often speaks with wisdom, so I’m open to it. Channeling is real enough and many people have claimed to have channeled aliens.

@Blackhawk Okay. I understand your concern. I am open to the possibility that he is not an alien getting channelled, but I am also open to the possibility that he might be. Now, I am not suggesting buying any theories on blind faith, I have spent literally over 40 hrs listening to that guy and other channels like Elan and Emmanual (you would know him if you are familiar with Ram Dass) and they all say the same thing. Including Leo and other spiritual people like - Jiddu Krishnamurthi - Alan Watts - Terrance McKenna - Sri Ramana Maharshi - Peter - Ram Dass - Fred Davis - The zen people - Abraham hicks who literally started the movement of Law of attraction etc. The weird part is all of them say the same thing in different ways throughout time. That's crazy. Most of the information Bashar and others give seems to work in reality (the self help part) Even Terrance Mckenna said if an alien were to come to visit a planet in peace, it wouldn't do it by coming in UFO, probably will slowly introduce itself to the culture through other means like plants (if you know what I mean) For me, it makes more sense to be open to the possibility than closed to it

I think the alien-believing people are just smart when they don't believe that he's an alien. Because he isn't a alien.

So you think that he's an alien? @Vido How old are you?

But I am also pondering what Leo mentioned before Is it really true that if EVEN if an alien comes and talks about love, people would be like nah, Imma look for alien tech and government politics Seems too crazy? because if you are not pursuing truth (which would require you to be at least open-minded to this kind of stuff? I mean what's there to lose?) and you are pursuing alien tech (understandable) then what are the UFO people really seeking? I don't really know?

@Vido Because people don't believe in it. Rightly so, in my opinion. It's interesting that you say "Bashar is an alien". How do you know that? Because he says that he's an alien?

Yeah... I think it's only Darryl? you don't have to be an alien to talk about the good stuff The simplest explanation is probably the correct one (Ockham's Razor).

Bashar is an alien channelled by a guy called Darryl The weird part is, he's been doing this since 1980? yet no one is familiar with him? I did consume a lot of his lectures and I personally find them super useful and kinda aligns with Leo's work very very much. There is a lecture where he literally explains time travel, how ufo work, etc, etc which is okay, I mean it did make sense to a certain extent and I am open to the possibility However, I really do not understand how no one kinda knows or gives a fuck about him. He's literally an alien giving self-help advice. I remember Leo saying if aliens come to earth, they wouldn't give us technology but rather teach us about love. Which is what Bashar is doing. I don't get it. https://www.bashar.org/

@Stovo 2 things. When you look into the mirror for a while, you're going to experience mild hallucinations, your face is going to look really weird, for example my beard merges with all of my face and it looks so Alien. I've done this so often that jt doesn't freak me out. What also happens is the collapse of a "here-me" and a "there-me" in the mirror. That's what kind of freaks me out. Unfortunately the hallucinations are kind of distracting, but if you manage to switch your awareness from here-me to there-me back and forth once in a while it's going to collapse. Try to find out if you're in front or behind the mirror when you look at yourself. This happens to a lot of people, especially if they smoke weed.

@Nahm There is obviously a technique for that. If you see an alien and the alien asks you how to ejaculate up the spine, saying "it's about letting go of thinking" doesn't help as it is not the way. From what I understood it involves the pelvic muscles and breathing up the spine and some shit like that, but it's messy in my head

Probably the most challenging and the most rewarding book I have ever read. I am including excerpts that I have enjoyed the most. Enjoy! Foreword: For, on Hegel’s view, all dialectical thought-paths lead to the Absolute Idea and to the knowledge of it which is itself. The mind for Hegel, as for Aristotle, is thus the place of forms, a bustling Agora where such forms are involved in endless transactions and conversations, and though it is by the intermediation of such forms that there is a reaching-out to their individual instances, they none the less enjoy a relative independence there, a detachment in the thought-ether, that they never enjoy elsewhere. For absolute knowledge is simply the realization that all forms of objectivity are identical with those essential to the thinking subject, so that in construing the world conceptually it is seeing everything in the form of self, the self being simply the ever-active principle of conceptual universality, of categorial synthesis Preface: To judge a thing that has substance and solid worth is quite easy, to comprehend it is much harder, and to blend judgement and comprehension in a definitive description is the hardest thing of all. To help bring philosophy closer to the form of Science, to the goal where it can lay aside the title ‘love of knowing’ and be actual knowing—that is what I have set myself to do. If, namely, the True exists only in what, or better as what, is sometimes called intuition, sometimes immediate knowledge of the Absolute, religion or being—not at the centre of divine love but the being of the divine love itself—then what is required in the exposition of philosophy is, from this viewpoint, rather the opposite of the form of the Notion. For the Absolute is not supposed to be comprehended, it is to be felt and intuited; not the Notion of the Absolute, but the feeling and intuition of it, must govern what is said, and must be expressed by it. The ‘beautiful’, the ‘holy’, the ‘eternal’, ‘religion’, and ‘love’ are the bait required to arouse the desire to bite; not the Notion, but ecstasy, not the cold march of necessity in the thing itself, but the ferment of enthusiasm, these are supposed to be what sustains and continually extends the wealth of substance. The power of Spirit is only as great as its expression, its depth only as deep as it dares to spread out and lose itself in its exposition. Moreover, when this non-conceptual, substantial knowledge professes to have sunk the idiosyncrasy of the self in essential being, and to philosophize in a true and holy manner, it hides the truth from itself: by spurning measure and definition, instead of being devoted to God, it merely gives free rein both to the contingency of the content within it, and to its own caprice. In a proposition of this kind one begins with the word ‘God’. This by itself is a meaningless sound, a mere name; it is only the predicate that says what God is, gives Him content and meaning. The goal is Spirit’s insight into what knowing is. Impatience demands the impossible, to wit, the attainment of the end without the means. But the length of this path has to be endured, because, for one thing, each moment is necessary; and further, each moment has to be lingered over, because each is itself a complete individual shape, and one is only viewed in absolute perspective when its determinateness is regarded as a concrete whole, or the whole is regarded as uniquely qualified by that determination. Since the Substance of the individual, the World-Spirit itself, has had the patience to pass through these shapes over the long passage of time, and to take upon itself the enormous labour of world-history, in which it embodied in each shape as much of its entire content as that shape was capable of holding, and since it could not have attained consciousness of itself by any lesser effort, the individual certainly cannot by the nature of the case comprehend his own substance more easily. Consciousness knows and comprehends only what falls within its experience; for what is contained in this is nothing but spiritual substance, and this, too, as object of the self. But Spirit becomes object because it is just this movement of becoming an other to itself, i.e. becoming an object to itself, and of suspending this otherness. The disparity which exists in consciousness between the ‘I’ and the substance which is its object is the distinction between them, the negative in general. This can be regarded as the defect of both, though it is their soul, or that which moves them. INTRODUCTION But the goal is as necessarily fixed for knowledge as the serial progression; it is the point where knowledge no longer needs to go beyond itself, where knowledge finds itself, where Notion corresponds to object and object to Notion Consciousness, however, is explicitly the Notion of itself. Hence it is something that goes beyond limits, and since these limits are its own, it is something that goes beyond itself. The experience of itself which consciousness goes through can, in accordance with its Notion, comprehend nothing less than the entire system of consciousness, or the entire realm of the truth of Spirit. CONSCIOUSNESS A simple thing of this kind which is through negation, which is neither This nor That, a not-This, and is with equal indifference This as well as That—such a thing we call a universal. So it is in fact the universal that is the true [content] of sense-certainty. Now, there also occur in the perception various properties which seem to be properties of the Thing; but the Thing is a One, and we are conscious that this diversity by which it would cease to be a One falls in us. For us, this object has developed through the movement of consciousness in such a way that consciousness is involved in that development, and the reflection is the same on both sides, or, there is only one reflection Our consciousness, however, has passed over from the inner being as object to the other side, into the Understanding, and it experiences change there. We see that through infinity, law completes itself into an immanent necessity, and all the moments of [the world of] appearance are taken up into the inner world. That the simple character of law is infinity means, according to what we have found, (a) that it is self-identical, but is also in itself different; or it is the selfsame which repels itself from itself or sunders itself into two. What was called simple Force duplicates itself and through its infinity is law. This simple infinity, or the absolute Notion, may be called the simple essence of life, the soul of the world, the universal blood, whose omnipresence is neither disturbed nor interrupted by any difference, but rather is itself every difference, as also their supersession; it pulsates within itself but does not move, inwardly vibrates, yet is at rest. It is self-identical, for the differences are tautological; they are differences that are none. This self-identical essence is therefore related only to itself; ‘to itself’ implies relationship to an ‘other’, and the relation-to-self is rather a self-sundering; or, in other words, that very self-identicalness is an inner difference. These sundered moments are thus in and for themselves each an opposite—of an other; thus in each moment the ‘other’ is at the same time expressed; or each is not the opposite of an ‘other’ but only a pure opposite; and so each is therefore in its own self the opposite of itself. In other words, it is not an opposite at all, but is purely for itself, a pure, self-identical essence that has no difference in it. We see that in the inner world of appearance, the Understanding in truth comes to know nothing else but appearance, but not in the shape of a play of Forces, but rather that play of Forces in its absolutely universal moments and in their movement; in fact, the Understanding experiences only itself. It is manifest that behind the so-called curtain which is supposed to conceal the inner world, there is nothing to be seen unless we go behind it ourselves, as much in order that we may see, as that there may be something behind there which can be seen. SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS And it is only through staking one’s life that freedom is won; only thus is it proved that for self-consciousness, its essential being is not [just] being, not the immediate form in which it appears, not its submergence in the expanse of life, but rather that there is nothing present in it which could not be regarded as a vanishing moment, that it is only pure being-for-self. Rather, it is a consciousness existing for itself which is mediated with itself through another consciousness, i.e. through a consciousness whose nature it is to be bound up with an existence that is independent, or thinghood in general. Consciousness, therefore, can only find as a present reality the grave of its life. But because this grave is itself an actual existence and it is contrary to the nature of what actually exists to afford a lasting possession, the presence of that grave, too, is merely the struggle of an enterprise doomed to failure. The fact that the unchangeable consciousness renounces and surrenders its embodied form, while, on the other hand, the particular individual consciousness gives thanks [for the gift], i.e. denies itself the satisfaction of being conscious of its independence, and assigns the essence of its action not to itself but to the beyond, through these two moments of reciprocal self-surrender of both parts, consciousness does, of course, gain a sense of its unity with the Unchangeable. REASON Reason is the certainty of being all reality. This in-itself or this reality is, however, a universal pure and simple, the pure abstraction of reality For its freedom or its being-for-self is just this, to treat the necessity [of the relation] as of no importance. Consequently, the way in which difference, qua inert, expresses itself is just this, that it is an indifferent difference, i.e. difference as magnitude The infinite judgement, qua infinite, would be the fulfilment of life that comprehends itself; the consciousness of the infinite judgement that remains at the level of picture-thinking behaves as urination. The realization attained by this individuality consists therefore in nothing more than this, viz. that it has cast forth this circle of abstractions from its confinement within simple self-consciousness, into the element where they are for self-consciousness, in other words, are expanded into an objective existence. The individual, therefore, knowing that in his actual world he can find nothing else but its unity with himself, or only the certainty of himself in the truth of that world, can experience only joy in himself. This is the Notion which consciousness forms of itself,... It has the value of the Absolute, for self-consciousness cannot and does not want any more to go beyond this object, for in it, it is in communion with itself: it cannot, for it is all being and all power; it does not want to, for it is the self or the will of this self. The object is in its own self real as object, for it contains within itself the distinction characteristic of consciousness; it divides itself into ‘masses’ [Massen] or spheres which are the determinate laws of the absolute essence All that is left, then, for the making of a law is the mere form of universality, or, in fact, the tautology of consciousness which stands over against the content, and the knowledge, not of an existing or a real content, but only of the essence or self-identity of a content. But this self-consciousness is the actuality and existence of the substance, its self and its will. SPIRIT Both worlds, however, when grasped by Spirit—which, after this loss of itself, withdraws into itself—when grasped by the Notion, are confounded and revolutionized by the insight [of the individual] and the diffusion of that insight, known as the Enlightenment; and the realm which was divided and expanded into this world and the beyond, returns into self-consciousness which now, in the form of morality, grasps itself as the essentiality and essence as the actual self; it no longer places its world and its ground outside of itself, but lets everything fade into itself, and, as conscience, is Spirit that is certain of itself. This world is, however, a spiritual entity, it is in itself the interfusion of being and individuality; this its existence is the work of self-consciousness, but it is also an alien reality already present and given, a reality which has a being of its own and in which it does not recognize itself. The Spirit of this world is a spiritual essence that is permeated by a self-consciousness which knows itself, and knows the essence as an actuality confronting it. But the existence of this world, as also the actuality of self-consciousness, rests on the process in which the latter divests itself of its personality, thereby creating its world. On the other hand, the individual, through the enjoyment of wealth, gains no experience of his universal nature, but only gets a transitory consciousness and enjoyment of himself qua single and independent individual, and of the disparity between himself and his essence It stands on the very edge of this innermost abyss, of this bottomless depth, in which all stability and Substance have vanished; and in this depth it sees nothing but a common thing, a plaything of its whims, an accident of its caprice. In the will of the self that is certain of itself, in this knowledge that the self is essential being, lies the essence of what is right. The reconciling Yea, in which the two ‘I’s let go their antithetical existence, is the existence of the ‘I’ which has expanded into a duality, and therein remains identical with itself, and, in its complete externalization and opposite, possesses the certainty of itself: it is God manifested in the midst of those who know themselves in the form of pure knowledge. RELIGION Absolute Being is, in the latter form, indeed the self and present, since other than present the self cannot be Absolute Spirit is the content, and is thus in the shape of its truth. As essence it is only in itself or for us; but since this purity is just abstraction or negativity, it is for itself, or is the Self, the Notion. it is said that the eternal Being begets for itself an ‘other’. But in this otherness it has at the same time immediately returned into itself; for the difference is the difference in itself, i.e. it is immediately distinguished only from itself and is thus the unity that has returned into itself. ABSOLUTE KNOWING This last shape of Spirit—the Spirit which at the same time gives its complete and true content the form of the Self and thereby realizes its Notion as remaining in its Notion in this realization—this is absolute knowing; it is Spirit that knows itself in the shape of Spirit, or a comprehensive knowing [in terms of the Notion]. Truth is not only in itself completely identical with certainty, but it also has the shape of self-certainty, or it is in its existence in the form of self-knowledge goal is the revelation of the depth of Spirit, and this is the absolute Notion. from the chalice of this realm of spirits foams forth for Him his own infinitude.

Okay, so at 3:43 in the interview, Leo has just talked prior about going to fortune tellers/ reiki healers. He goes to 5 different healers, each who give him different explanation as to why he is having the problems he is having. Then he spent four hours with a dark energy healer. He went to these 6 individuals with no results and yet he doesn't consider them delusional, only that they are in different realities. Sure they live in different realities. Leo also went to many doctors in the western model to heal his stomach issues and none of that works. Yet, we don't consider doctors delusional. If I went to 5 western medical specialist about my stomach issue and they all have me different reasons I would consider them to have different expert opinions, or some to be wrong or some to be right. But, I wouldn't consider them delusional as I would if I went to different mystics and had different opinions. This whole truth thing is very challenging. I am personally of the opinion that healing energy work and things like reiki, Qigong, yoga, breath work, chanting, listening to music, tuning forks etc have a positive affect on aspects of the body. These practices promote health, relaxation and the spiritual aesthetic needs of humans. Yet, they are not the same of getting a vaccine or something like that. I guess, whether its western medicine, traditional Chinese medicine, mysticism, science etc that we as humans embody so many aspects of reality that each of these schools of thought address different aspects of the human experience. But, we need to be honest and clear with ourselves about the validity or intent behind using these professionals. There should be no bias given to one or the other, except in that we are being intelligent in our approach and usage of these schools. It's not black and white as far as I can tell. Its not like, western science good mysticism bad. There is truth and falsehood and varying degrees of effectiveness strung out through all domains of human existence. I have had deep mystical experiences under the care of a tantric priestess while at a sexual shamanic online festival. But, I would like more to confirm it. For example, I know first hand that Qigong is real as I practice it everyday and have first hand experience of Qi energy and am intuiting my abilities in the next 20 years. Yet, someone else could just be some asshole who took too many mushrooms and now thinks he is an alien who is a light worker who has to tell heal the world. He may think he can cure cancer, while all I am doing as a Qigong teacher is helping people to stretch and circulate their life for energy better. Two seemingly woo woo things to most people yet I think Qigong has validity, while the alien light-worker is smoking something. Like, the field of nutrition: So many different opinions. Are most nutritionist completely deluded in the same way, or similar ways as a dark energy healer who sees demons and energies that don't exist? I am really only interested in what is true so I can build a business that helps people and is based in truth. Listening to Leo's explainations about his energy healing and that he doesn't consider them delusional I felt like he was in self deception territory. If I went to a doctor who was a quake, not follower professional protocol which was leading to chronic deaths and spreading of disease we wouldn't say he was just living in a different reality. People may live in different realities in their mind, which in some context is fine imo when it comes to aesthetic and spiritual experience. But, when it comes to healing and domains of life that pertain to healing we need the tool to actually address and fix the problem. An artist's cognition may be allow for more aesthetic loosey goosie ness, but surely healing must actually work or it's a scam and self deception, or simply not the right tool for the job. If I went to an energy healer who made bold claims about the results I would be upset if I didn't have results. I remember someone on the forum a few weeks ago who was claiming to have healing powers and was 'healing people' on the forum. Which he wasn't he was full of shit and Leo banned him. So, is this medicine actually poison and snake oil? Is this spiritual healer actually a quake and self confused? What are their motivations? Proof? Reasons? Results? I am just noting here that every single external authority I come across has varying degrees of accuracy. I need to be able to take actualized.orgs model as a subset of a larger model I am creating. There is too much risk for Leos self deceptions here. I don't think he is wrong about infinity, and I love his passion and am very grateful for the immense amount of wisdom. But, I just need to always realized I can be self deceived and that I likely am. And, therefore, I cannot gauge accurately the self deception of another. So he question is: When it comes to healing, is it not important that the act of healing actually creates a tangible result in person. If not, what are the implications of the method? Was it the wrong method for the problem? was it a pseudo claim and the person was a scam artists or a self deceived hack? How do I reconcile that some modern medical practices are limited and problematic, while many work.... The same seems true of spiritual practices such as journaling, meditation, body scans, visualization, some energy work practices, Qigong, yoga, breathwork, pschedelics etc What is the difference between Aesthetic cause-play and science? or, Art and science? They both exist, but have different relative applications and are not mutually exclusive. Honestly, Arcadefire is right in their song "Powerout" -"Growing up in some strange storm... Nobodies Cold nobodies Warm.. So I went out into the night... I went out to find some light (to pick a fight with anyone)" I will absorb all this material and I will transcend falsehood and delusion more and more. I sense Leo may have a high degree of accuracy. But, I am making sure I continue to go meta beyond him and ground myself in something that is both spiritually aesthetic, practical and that is true and works.