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About Mafortu

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  1. You are feeding the negative thoughts way too much. But thank you, I sometimes think similarly and reading your post feels almost like watching this aspect of myself in third person, I can now identify those thoughts and feed them less now.
  2. Morpheus, we gonna need more blue pills in here!
  3. If you want to make the most out of your psychedelics and have a true spiritual experience, there is only one correct answer: Heilung
  4. I clicked expecting to cringe, but this is perhaps the most valuable thread in years here. Unlike others in the path, I sense no delusion in your words. Thanks for sharing your insights with us.
  5. I for one am not entirely sure if I have seen the Ox or not. Took ayahuasca and it took me into a surreal journey into the realms of the abstract, great love, a mystical experience through and through. Took mushrooms and it showed me dream-like visions similar to ayahuasca, I felt immense love and respect, and overwhelming divinity inside me. Took LSD and it showed me how reality, time and perception can bend and stretch into unfathomable proportions. Then took 5-Meo-DMT... and my experience was black nothingness, as if I ceased to exist for some minutes and I was reduced to blank awareness. No emotions tho, I did not panicked nor did I felt any joy, it just happened. I came out of it feeling underwhelmed to be honest, but it was nonetheless a very interesting experience.
  6. A very interesting video showcasing one of the traps of enlightenment. See for yourself. The comments are praising him for telling the fashion-icon world how deluded they are, from another perspective, Jim Carrey went to an event, uninvited as far as I am aware, just to mock everyone in it for celebrating a passion he doesn't share. Is this what a woke person would do?
  7. Okay I have to ask Even if Bashar speaks some variation of truth, why go to him when there are so many other non-dual teachers that dont sully spirituality by selling magical crystals?
  8. To quote a suicide survivor “I instantly realized that everything in my life that I’d thought was unfixable was totally fixable—except for having just jumped.”
  9. each enlightenment experience increases your base mana by 200 points, and the more mana the more powerful spells you will be able to cast
  10. Like everyone else is saying, what is "right" and what is "wrong" are just silly ideas made up by men. Would any of your statements hold true if you were a manta-ray living in the ocean?
  11. Thanks for your info, feeling much more calmer now. I have had ego dissolutions before (one on 5-meo-dmt and one on lsd), but the dissolution came in naturally and without friction, there were no negative emotions, just peace and nothingness, and plain awareness of it. So yeah, yesterday took me by surprise. I am glad it happened tho, I needed this scare.
  12. Yes weed, should have clarified. Thing is, this has never happened to me before. If it was just a matter of the mind, I wouldn't have freaked out because I am a very calm individual and I love the abstract realm of awareness, it was my heart beating like thunder that made me panic x50, never have I felt such dread and scare in my entire life.
  13. And by faux-awakening, I mean I deluded myself into thinking I tapped into a forbidden hidden truth, and it went very dark and I am still trembling about it. I normally keep these things to myself, but I have done lsd, shrooms and other psychedelics several times in the past and all of them have been very positive and uplifting, to the point where I thought I as immune to bad trips. Today was like any normal Sunday for me, smoking and chilling in my house listening to instrumental music and getting into the vibe. I dont usually smoke a lot because I hate the sensation of smoke going into my throat, so I took two big hits and laid down in my couch thinking about reality, art and consciousness. All was doing well. I got to a point where I was thinking about humanity's suffering, about how life itself is an inconceivable precious miracle and how we as a species are desecrating our beautiful home and disrespecting what creation has gifted us. I had an insight about how all life in earth has a soul, and it was angry at us. I had insights about how this "soul god" is now actively working against us, through all sorts of shit; climate change, virus, cancer, bacteria, etc... as an attempt to remove the plague that we are. It went very dark from here, I deluded myself into thinking this is the BIG epiphany, the answer to the forbidden mystery of our reality, my heart was pounding so fast, I felt like I saw something that was not meant to be seen. I thought I fucked up. My heart was pounding, and I felt like I was going to die at that moment. I kept feeling overwhelmed by this false epiphany.. "I should have not looked, I should have not been curious, now I there is no going back, I cant unsee the truth". I was starting to go insane, my heart was pounding faster and faster, I was going to die for peeking into the truth, we fucked up, I fucked up. Our planet's soul is rejecting us. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack for real, the physical pain was overwhelming. I removed my clothes off and ran to the shower and took a cold bath. "This is it.. this is how I die" I kept thinking to myself. "I was going to die for finding out the truth". I was begging for a second chance. But I didnt die. I layed in bed and waited for my heart beat to normalize. The fake-epiphany didn't go away, I couldn't ignore the truth which I unveiled moments earlier, which made my heart race like crazy again in two subsequent waves which also felt like I was going to have a fatal-heart attack. These hell lasted for 1-2 hours. Its been hours since and I am feeling okay now, what a horrible trip... now, I certainly dont believe any of that was "truth", but it felt like it in the moment, which is fucking scary, I thought I was much better than that.
  14. RIGHT? More people need to listen to them
  15. I feel like most people on the path to enlightenment are seeking the truth to achieve one main goal: end suffering. I respect that, happiness feels awesome, but, my main drive has always been understanding the nature of reality and consciousness, for curiosity's sake. Not just a mundane "i wonder if it will rain today" curiosity, but this big thing inside of me what wishes to solve the big mystery. If the path leads me to happiness, cool, its a welcome bonus. If understanding the truth means sacrificing my happiness, then by all means I am willing. I see no higher goal or price, and I have learned to embrace sadness as one of the many beautiful colors that paint my life. I've had many fascinating spiritual experiences with psychedelics, ranging from movie-like fantasy realms to black void nothingness, I keep getting insights every day, big or small, but each day feels like a step forward towards the endless path to truth.