fopylo

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About fopylo

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  1. @Nahm However when focusing on the experiences you don't have (basically focusing on those experience with the added thoughts that you don't have them) then you will experience insecurity/powerless. Not all experiences though. I cannot experience flying, being in a cartoon, the desire to still have my room (parents are getting divorced), to build a space company. And this also depends on whether you know what you want. Many times I have a quick thought of something I believe I want, then write it on the dreamboard just to realize it doesn't actually feel that good. Oh, and many times after I write it on the dreamboard I feel like I'm suppressing this desire, like I tend to not focus on it anymore, sometimes by force, because like I already wrote it down. Before I write it down usually I am still fantasizing about it.
  2. @Nahm Hey that's exactly the message you sent me
  3. @Jordan Thing is that my jaw area tends to tension when I focus on my breath
  4. I've been trying the basic meditation of focusing on the breath from the stomach. As I've understood already, thoughts are and will not go away by "pushing" them aside. I just let them be. But when I'm focusing on the feeling, I've realized I still have thoughts, very vague, about the general course of my breath and maybe some dots resembling the tingling of the feeling. How can I focus on the feeling of my breath without having thoughts? When I let go of those thoughts by returning attention to the feeling of breathing, different thoughts arise. It's quite trippy. I feel as though I'm trying to control my attention, monitoring my breathing as a result. Oh, and not to forget that part of that meditation is that you then focus on the tensions in each body part and 'release' it by letting it go. Bottom line is, always when I return attention to breathing I still have thoughts, and many times discordant thoughts. I don't know how to meditate or to do this "letting go" shit
  5. "The right response is still the ticket to heaven, nirvana, or at least to a happy and secure life. What a trap that can be! What at first seems to free participants ultimately binds them. Such approaches - releasing repressed areas of consciousness, positive thinking, transformational experiences, accepting things exactly the way they are, 'creative' problem solving, situational management, behavior modification, stress reduction, 'new' styles of thinking, and even certain forms of meditation - all attempt to teach people to respond to life or to the universe as if the circumstances were dominant. After years of practicing these various disciplines, people often still have not learned to create what they most truly want. All they have learned are textbook responses that promise, but do not deliver, success or salvation. This is because creating and responding are completely different species." This is powerful, I believe. It just shows us how much we try to solve our "problems", which is different from creating. When you try to solve a problem you are taking action to have something go away, the problem. When you are creating you are taking action to bring something into being, the creation. The quote above has really struck me, as I've been spending so much time (and still do) trying to "solve" my situation so that I can create music, via those beautiful deceptive methods that make you think you'll get the result you want (the methods in the quote). This is because deep down I feel powerless against my situation. @Nahm Would like to know what you think about this quote. I'm still not creating music by the way, still searching for stuff to solve, in the reactive-responsive orientation..
  6. @Nahm @Nahm The thing is that wants change over time, so since the dreamboard is always next to me and I can see everything I wrote, should I erase the wants I no longer want?@EmptyVase Then what was the fucking point lol. Aren't you supposed to keep your dream board?
  7. @Nahm But you do suggest I write it by hand (pen & paper) rather than on a note on my phone, right? What do you mean?😮 What if I write something specific but then after a few minutes change my mind? Also, instead of 'a girlfriend' could I just write 'girlfriend'?
  8. @Nahm I'm leaving tomorrow to camp for another 2 weeks. I don't have a dry erase board at home. All I'm taking with me is my phone, although I still have a pen with me and I believe I could easily find a piece of paper. So what now? Oh, I get it. So to just write down anything I want regardless of the emotion I'm experiencing (meaning, without it having to necessary be the emotion of positive belief). Should I write each time "I want ___"? I have a speculation (I'll anyways try it out): Since I'm becoming more aware of what I want, I'll develop an instinct for knowing what I want, and I'll therefore be more clear, decisive, and truthful to myself. Since the focus is on "what I want" I may develop greater emotional understanding depending on what I want. I'll try not to think about it much though
  9. @Nahm And in it I just write anything that pops to mind that I want... But what if it's just a quick thought of something I want for this moment which then goes away in seconds? And what if it's a long term goal? What if it is something I want out of jealousy? What if it involves other? What is the criteria? So then how could a dream bored help me in my life?
  10. @Nahm Even though you haven't read the book I know that your understanding on this is great. Perhaps you could help me with the question of how do I find what I want? (and maybe you could add some wisdom of why it's important to know and note what you want...) thanks
  11. I must say that this is one of the most eye opening books I've ever read, like EVER. Seriously this book goes in depth about our structural orientation in life. Talks a lot about the difference between the reactive-responsive orientation and the creative orientation. Anyway he talks about the importance of focusing on what you want, or at least, be true to yourself about what you want and know that. He says that at any given moment you could answer the question "What do I want?" Now the problem that many people face is trying to find the "What" in "What do I want", by trying to look deep inside them, trying to search deep within their soul. This process doesn't work since you're essentially trying to solve a problem, trying to eliminate your barriers. The author says that the way you find your what is that you simply make it up. You simply make up what you want. This notion can be quite unusual, and I still find it hard to 'make up' what I want and still have the tendency to try to search deep inside. For anyone with a very good understanding on this matter, I'd like to understand what he meant, and it would be even better if you had read that book
  12. @BipolarGrowth So basically you're saying that your hatred doesn't have to come from jealousy at all, but in the case of being jealous you can express it through hatred. The only emotion that you need to care about and has any relation to your current emotion is the next one on the scale. Right?
  13. @Tristan12 But you can't get into deep hate without going through jealousy. You need something to really hate, right? @Nahm
  14. @Nahm I would like to know what you think about it as well: So you start from the lowest emotions - fear, despair. Then you become insecure about the fear, despair. Then you become jealous of others because of your insecurity. Then you start hating your jealousy and you can get into a rage. Then you are angry from all this hate. Then you are discouraged already from all this anger. Then you want to blame someone or a situation from all this discouragement. Then, because that you blame alot, you worry because of all the blaming you believe to be true. You worry about your blames. Then, all this worry gets you to doubt yourself, someone or a situation. You doubt your worry. Then you become disappointed from doubting a lot. Then you become overwhelmed from disappointments. Disappointments about stuff you realize you can't do, can't achieve, and it overwhelms you. Then you get frustrated from all this overwhelment. Then you become pessimistic from all your frustrations, irritations, and impatience. Then you become bored already from all those pessimistic thoughts. Then you become ok (content) with this boredom. Then you become hopeful with this contentment. You begin to sense inspiration. Then you have a positive expectation/belief from/about this general inspiration that this moment brings. Positive expectations arise to those hopes. Then you get enthusiastic about your positive expectation you have, especially when you start having more positive expectations that build on each other. Then you become passionate about/from all this eagerness, excitement, enthusiasm. And then you become joyful from this passion you have. All this passion brings you to love this passion, appreciate it, feel the freedom it gives you. Basically this model I've tried to create is about showing how the emotions play meta on each other. How actually each emotion, when realized, is a part of the higher emotion, and going up the scale means realizing the emotion more. It is like a meta-chain. But going up the scale is only possible if you prefer to put how you feel before what you think. To care more about feeling good than being wright.