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2025 January 1st - A tower, a spire, red and yellow ball creatures. Bad portent as "The Tower" tarot card, but more towards neutrality or positivity in potential. Year of upheaval and yellow (caution) and red (danger) thoughtforms in the collective psyche. A painting on a house, owned by a 'doctor' (possibly a negatively oriented Carl Jung) and a Minecraft pig. This suggests a message about what Leo calls epistemic pigs or an intelligence of malfeasance manipulating this New Year's day. A cardinal, representative of flight but also of the Catholic Church and rigidity, which will be a side character such as Squidward from Spongebob. Bubbles, jellyfish, Sandy, Spongebob. Significance of this day is that it is like a reef under water representative of the subconscious, leading to fields and rainbows of potential but with blackbirds portentous of trickery. Celebration and potentiality backdrop context for the upcoming year, characters preparing with this context as background. January 2nd - Black bird, yellow bird, birdbox, nails, camp, summercamp, temporal hyper-interconnection, eternity, The Sun, baby, wealth, happy. Geopolitical events related to money, religion, and Cairo. Trump will say something related to death, red for blood and box for coffins. Fixation on possibility of war negative but overall positive, like Snape. Accuracy of war possibility not happening associated with positive vibrations and well-built, but with minimally good objects, accuracy of it happening associated with aesthetically acceptable men with boots, but mostly paucity. Car crash deadly. Incidents related to Twitter, Bluesky, and SCOTUS. January 3rd - Piracy, crime, sex crimes, kinks, Michelle Wu (mayor of Boston), mountains, rivers, Mulan (androgyny?), buildings, family, chastisement, specific events related to frugalness of economy (so high spending but low prices or high prices and low spending), lions, girls dressed as lions, girl dressed as lion saying "I have a lot of money" where money is a metaphor for subtle energy expenditure, lions represent bravery and beauty / decorativeness. January 4th - Darker day, leadup to Jan 6. Trump on phone, making aggressive or neutrally confused call. Picnic on one hand. One woman and one male as well as me and one other person have some cosmic and planetary importance. There is a dark manipulator behind the scenes even as people try to use positivity as a context for the upcoming event-perspectives. The manipulator is associated with snakes. Leo will disbelieve the prophecy but believe as he reads on. It is too much for it to simply be random. It needs symbolic associative significance. January 5th - Pyramid shaped mountains. Suggesting energetic working upon Iran. Weakening of the IRGC. Ali's inevitable conversion to intuitive sufiism. Iran on path to become social democracy by 2050. On this day mountains of evidence of this inevitability or necessity in 89,000,000 Iranians. January 6th - Earth pleasurably massaged (like a prostate). Orion constellation triangle-shaped craft. Desert. Function. Nickelodeon playing frequencies that hush. Ra Egyptian related to human sexuality. Manipulator may be related to kundalini or root chakra. Images associated with manipulator: Trump, Vaush, my parrot, Jar-Jar, assassinated IRGC General Soleimani and assassinated Hamas leader Soleimani. On January 6th earth has special cosmic alignment, blackness behind sun, green happy and gleeful snake emerging from it. Word for certification of the vote: "Orionic". Big yellow bird, associated with ending of infinite intelligence descending into Israel on this day. No terrorist attack attempted on this day, though significant tension over possibility in collective zeitgeist. Small gathering outside Capitol. January 7th - White snakes. Fourth density positive birds. Snakes, juvenile playthings of gods. Swords. River running with blood, suggesting sexual connotation rather than literal violence. Extreme wealth and sexuality on this day for earth. January 8th - Darkness sopping. From Ukraine-Russia. Crayons suggesting creative diversity of events besides that. Trump losing weight, checking weight on scale to prolong lifespan and reign. The nature of the manipulator is a fourth density being, Gonzo from The Muppets (mental image form), which has attached itself to Trump, to me and my thoughts or paranoia, and through various emanations to the world. The only way to stop it is through violence against it, red (color of grounding and root chakra), purple (color of higher consciousness and unity and sight), mixtures of these colors, the root chakra and the chakra above the head. January 9th - Hot, heat, Ripley and Noot from Aliens, screaming, xenomorphs, attack, reality system difference or divergence, Trump embarrassed but not so too too much less emboldened by reality, manipulator has been on earth for 64+ years, manipulator has morbid associations with reptiles in relation to death and stagnation and unencumbered darkness, high-vibration birds and electromagnetic highness are "concluding" counterbalance. January 10th - Basket of naan. I will probably eat Indian food that day. January 11th - Road, operation of "the devil" entity from my dream, phallic imagery. Dark day for the world. Emergence of warring entities upon the earth (attempt deflected). Entities that are so evil it's impossible for them to physically exist; that level of negativity could not physically have a body or be compatible with our physical reality. January 12th - "sick" January 13th - Ra, good guys hiding undercover, like Lando at Jabba's Palace. Manipulator in silly ridiculous form. January 14th - Good guys infighting. January 15th - Patterns and habits continue much as usual across the globe. Dark aliens energize and power above the glove but don't do and can't do and don't know about doing much. Progress with Iran and The White House in preparation for Trump. January 16th - Actualized.org becomes bastion of beauty. Randomness in relation to entities, needs extrication from bad reality systems and uptick towards beauty, protecting beautiful entities from poor environments, beautifying environments and entities. January 17th - Squirrels, representative of vital beings and parasite and buggers from the nervous world or the astral plane, clowns like cotton candy, rainbow curly hair, rainbow suggesting LGBTQ renewal in face of mockery or adversity, bridge to vital world, vital buggers stale tickets, meaning, meaning changes according to retrocausality and which year the meaning is selected according to. Trickster archetype. Anakin saying, "You underestimate my [WOER AAAAAAA" January 18th - Joaquin Phoenix shutting his eyes in scientological-esque auditing. Joaquin is symbol of actor, good actor, where good acting is realistic replication of personal and situational energy patterns. Negative side he retreats inward (shutting eyes situation). Positive side he exists in action-laden and -upcoming situation but with "conclusion" of sexual assault (a la Joker Volie a Deaux) leading down into the negative path (eyes shut). This transforms extreme energy and meaning to the negative path, extreme power. This is related to the archetype across the world in the form the trickster [or joker, if you will]. January 19th - As to whether Luigi would get jury nullification, image of shovels and spades. As to no, large pyramids. This is a contrast of local small tools moving versus nonlocal large tools stationary. Clarification: He will not get jury nullification. Likely will get mistrial, due to intensity of probability in meaning. Jan 19th melting glittery furnace light and lava. January 20th - Luigi will not be assaulted in prison, as this is not a full repeat of Volie a Deaux, or Volie a Deaux is not a direct oracular comparison, Luigi is more positive and Arthur Fleck is more negative. Jan 20ths curtains, theater, the show beginning, people in seats, Thomas Campbell physicist appears on JRE, Trump inaugurated, experiments with crystals continue above the earth. Infinite intelligence having casually restarted descending into Israel slows before stopping when Trump touches the Bible. January 21st - Obnoxious Trump speech, incompetent bumbling, nonsensical ineffectual transition as all competent people file out or do nothing. High schoolers' lives continue with new background. Image of soup with eyeballs, suggesting "Kronos" the Greek god eating eggs and sperm (eyeballs = eggs, soup = sperm). Humorous. I really can't figure out what that means either. It suggests a corruption or ridiculous-ification of reproduction and production in society due to Trump corrupting the human race's context (for the next four years). Positive souls make positive humorous use of it. Manipulator less powerful than deviations from truth due to Trump. There are two bowls of soup, a larger one for those who either duped or sardonically-satirically accept the nonsense and a smaller more sensible one for those who don't, who are serious and can't really handle it that much. January 22nd - Crucified Columbia angel. Recognition of Trump's foolishness sets in. January 23rd - Goldengate Bridge, represents suicide. January 24th - Looting, theft, burglary themes. January 25th - Trashy angels, clock, alarm clock, improvised biological alarm clock, injections and veins, RFK Jr., melting, Big Ben, Uri Geller telekinesis and foolishness, Uri Geller telekinesis despite delusional belief in Trump, grassy knolls, teletubbies (media?), The Sun. Connection to 2017. January 26th - Telekinesis, telekinetic practitioners, tele-whatever hills, telepathy and telekinesis baked right into the environment of a specific location in Himalayas. January 27th - Croc or alligator on Trump golf course. January 28th - Swimming pool seemingly abandoned but clean. January 29th - Trophy on end of pencil presented to girl for academic achievement. January 30th - Teen suicide, overdoses. January 31st - Candace Owens, pervertry, stupidity, goldengate zero (cosmic intelligence).

I meant in case I commit suicide lol I can have those thoughts but im fine now

Where did you get suicide from? Nvm I’m guessing you meant that his mod life is over

You are literally commenting this in his suicide thread insulting everybody but you... Have some respect for the members of this forum

Sometimes it seems like op is a crazy leftist on clomid or aromatizable steroids lol. Men cry less for biological reasons, and because their nervous system learns that it is useless to cry in x situation in their case. Women should not be in the military, they are weaker, will not be respected as much, and are less able to stand war scenes. The one who inspired my seminal retention adventure had a military friend who committed suicide for this reason.

I have had full-on awakenings where I was laughing my ass off. I was not under the influence of psychedelics. This was about 6 years ago, and it was an amazing time in my life. But enlightenment does not create permanent happiness. If anything it makes you more isolated, and unable to relate to "normal" people and situations. I never made a big deal about my enlightenment. I told a few people and they probably thought it was the rambling of a madman. Since then I have had two suicide attempts, experienced psychosis, and struggled with alcohol. Currently, I don't enjoy what the world has to offer. I live an ascetic, contemplative life. I don't have many friends. It's not depression, it's more like anhedonia. That's why I drink sometimes, because I can enjoy things more. I always imagined that enlightenment would lead to permanent happiness, but as you can see, this is not the case. I wonder where I have gone wrong. If what Leo says is true, then I am one of only about 10,000 people on the planet who have awakened to this degree. I wonder what I am supposed to do next.

It seems like it would be political suicide, but so did trying to coup the government. The fact of the matter is, the citizens are too caught up in their own lives to care about a nazi salute or a government coup or a convicted felon with a several decades long history of con artistry . Half of them probably don’t even know what a Nazi salute or a Nazi is. The majority don’t care but the vocal minority opposition does, which is who the salute was intended for.

I think that love is something very normal, is what you are, what reality is, but it's veiled by the self. The self is the bias, the survival machine. If you can remove the bias for a while you realize what you are, it's just openenss. If you are not used to it you do 5meo and you get crazy of love, but if you realize it often it's not no crazy. About Osho...who knows, it's very difficult to judge people, but I have the feeling that Osho is narcissist and shallow, and it's impossible that a shallow narcissist is opened to the real thing. But maybe I'm totally wrong, there are many angles to see a person . Could you imagine Osho being humble in real suffering? Life is not just a game to enjoy and have nice feelings, it has another face either. I think that Osho committed suicide when the things became ugly. They said mashamadi, but I'd say morphine

disclaimer: OK..I've started a thread about suicide yesterday but it got locked because some mod thought it might be dangerous to say this to people here who might be having trouble living in the world . So please understand I'm not advocating suicide or urging anyone to commit suicide. This is just my thoughts on the subject . So I said In that post : the idea that i could be trapped or forced in a situation against my will with no way out is one of the more truly horrifying things that i try not to think about. certainly the ability to "will myself dead" with no way for anyone else to stop it, would give me a certain comfort. I'm a proponent of the right to death idea. I have an agreement with myself if I become terminally ill I would exit on my own terms. You gotta really think why is death and suicide considered bad or wrong ? It's only because of social brainwashing . Life is not always better than death . Sometimes the suffering can be really intolerable. I've actually made peace with the idea of suicide and that's the only reason I no longer fear death .

Sucide hotline: "What happened to you sir, anything can be worked out and your life put together again" "I was rugg pulled by the US president." Suicide hotline:

Something I think about sometimes is what keeps people going through adversity. And about maintaining a strong mindset. This past year has been the worst in my life, and I have been having regular suicidal thoughts. Sometimes it’s so bad I’ll have suicidal thoughts from the morning I wake up until I go to sleep pretty much. I have like two sides of me. One that has some strength to keep pushing forward, and another that is “weak” , has no strength and wants to end my life. I don’t even wanna call it weak, I see it more as a reasonable reaction to the circumstances I’m in which I won’t go into here because it’s too weird even for this forum. Maintaining a “strong” mindset is so hard and I feel it doesn’t last long until it crumbles. What I mean by a strong mindset is a mindset that makes you persevere through adversity. The opposite would be a mindset that wants to end your life instead of persevering through the adversity. I manage to maintain this “strong” mindset for a little while, then it always crumbles and I’m back in suicidal thinking. And so it goes, oscillating between the two. I have wondered to myself what keeps other people going through adversity instead of ending it or at least thinking of ending it. I hear of cases worse than what I’m currently in wondering how those people keep going while I can barely stand my own situation right now. I have some theories. 1. Attachments. I feel peoples attachments could keep them going. For example being attached to their own family, and not wanting them to suffer if they die. This is something I lack, I’m not attached to anyone so no person is a reason for me to keep going. 2. Other attachments. I wonder if people have a kind of attachment to life itself. Or to themselves. They are attached to living, to being a person that is a part of the world, being a part of society. They have a “life” in the conventional sense, having friends, hobbies, partners, interests and they are attached to experiencing these things. 3. Good mental health. When people are dealing with physical pain but have good mental health then their good mental health is like a good foundation they stand on and the physical pain is something that bothers this good foundation but not enough so it crumbles and as long as they are able to maintain good mental health it’s a good enough foundation that gives them a reason to keep living. 4. Having a reason to go through the pain. Sometimes great pain comes from something great. So for example if a woman is giving birth and is in great pain, her reason for keeping going is that she will have a wonderful baby out of it. Also if someone has had a surgery and are in great pain their reason is that they are in the healing process. 5. Attachment to self image. Im going to use David Goggins as an example here. He has this desire to be “the baddest motherfucker” that is a self image he desires to have, and having this self image entails he preserves through adversity and in his extreme case ever PUTS HIMSELF through adversity (the extreme training) . So he needs to do those things to maintain this self image he has created for himself that he is attached to. He is even afraid of not achieving this greatness, of being old and not having reached his full potential. His case is extreme, but I’ve seen some cases of people having this self image of being “tough” and being attached to this image so this keeping them persevering through adversity. I don’t have this as I don’t have a desire to be “tough”. 6. Knowing it’s temporary. This one is a bit difficult for me to swallow. Some things for me are too unbearable to go through even if they are only temporary. So I’m having a hard time seeing how someone could have this as a reason to keep persevering. Because when something is horrible time slows down and it feels like forever. That is a very strong mindset to have, this mindset of it only being temporary. In my case I feel the only reason I’m alive today is that my situation hasn’t become “bad enough”. I don’t have a reason to live, there is nothing that I love, there’s no self image I’m attached to , nor a person, or other things. I don’t know if I would wanna switch places with someone with a “stronger” mindset, or who has attachments, because I hear about these horrible things people go through and I know myself enough to know I would much rather die than go through that. For example there’s this disease called trigeminal neuralgia which causes horrific pain regularly. Many people with that disease commit suicide apparently, and I know myself enough to know I’d be one of them. I don’t really understand those who persevere through that, but I can imagine that some of the reasons I highlighted above could explain it a little. Hope you enjoyed reading. Thanks

If there are no hostages to “rescue” even less will report. Recently one soldier committed suicide after being called in to go back. What is planned is probably another “mowing the grass” operation which would be smaller like in 2014 or 2008. But in a few years time, and there is no telling what happens by then.

I bring that up? When someone tells you for 5 years now as I earlier recall, that you enslave others, you are the sole reason why there is suffering on earth, you create junk and pollute the planet, that you are the devil and so on. Now tell me, what other solution can those teachings lead to? Leo never encouraged anybody to do self harm or suicide, on the contrary, he always told us to not do that. But his teachings have always left me with an after taste in my mouth of killing myself. He made me realize that I am indeed the devil and I thank him for that, but you have to draw the line somewhere! To me he crossed the line when he said that having a pet is slavery for the pet. With that statement, he made me feel like I should stop breathing also! Because I am also enslaving the oxygen to make my body function... I honestly love him for everything he thought us but sometimes he is downright making me jump off a cliff. STOP THAT. At least if he was right, but in that case he is dead wrong.

Probably because the average person has an average psychology and circumstances so it isn’t so bad for them to consider suicide. And they’re attached to their average life so bad times are like passing clouds that dont shake that solid foundation and if it does it’s only temporary. I don’t think the average person is particularly “strong” so it’s a bit mysterious to me if they don’t consider suicide when things get really bad but I’m guessing it’s that attachment to their “life”(everything that is considered in having a “life) that’s one of the reasons. And having problems that have solutions. Also there’s a big difference between just having suicidal thoughts and vs going the length of actually trying to kill yourself so I’ve had a lot of suicidal thoughts but I’ve never attempted Yea those things are usually what cause people to suffer Yea you covered the most basic things with your reply. I’d agree

Notice that you are the one bringing this suicide talk to actualized.org right now. Not the other way around. You are inventing this black & white moral interpretation that either the devilry, slavery & suffering ends or you kills yourself. Why?

That’s deep. In this case, valuing survival & fantasy over truth shouldn’t be judged as a moral failing of some sort. In a sense, Jail breaking the mind is a good thing only to those who desire it. Truth would indeed look like suicide from a POV that has no desire for it. Desire/bias very much drives our values, how we act on those values and how we judge our actions (actions of others).

The alternative is to do what? Kill myself so that I no longer inflict slavery towards other beings? Someone said sometime ago that Actualized.org teachings are suicidal. And I couldn't agree more. All this talk you guys do creates suicide as the only alternative to end all this devilry and slavery and suffering! Honestly, suicide is the only alternative if I'd follow your reasoning and bias. I die and I no longer kill a chicken to feed myself, I die so that I no longer provoke suffering towards other beings and so on. I'd suggest Leo, and everyone else on this forum to check yourselves before you speak. Raising animals ain't no slavery. The alternative is to starve to death. You have no clue of that because all you do is go to the supermarket when hungry.

@Bobby_2021 yeah lol long time .. and I just saw the full thing, there's just too much evidence to conclude that this is not suicide, likely a murder of some kind .. I think its def more than vibes although yeah the vibes suggest murder as well lol .. Its just so hard to believe a company like OpenAI would do that. It seems she has a lot more investigating to do, so maybe we'll get our answer soon.

Normal people don't think about killing themselves. If life sucks, it just sucks; suicide is not their solution or a path they ever see themselves taking. Real suicidal thoughts aren't as widespread as you think they are. You see it as a constant option, someone next to you has never considered it. If you're suicidal, you're probably missing some very foundational qualities of life, like 1. romantic and friendly relationships, 2. mental and physical health, and 3. a sense of direction and purpose, to say the least. Other reasons might include being stuck in a hole you or someone else put you in, like trauma, learned helplessness, and stress. Ultimately, you have to solve your issue head-on if possible. It doesn't help to give yourself some long-winded reason for what the cause of your depression is; you need to be specific. When I was majorly depressed about 5-6 years ago, it was because of a girl, and I didn't want to admit it to myself. I had a months-long feeling of sadness and an absence of desire for any activities, which is what depression is.

@Bobby_2021 what's up man, about to watch this .. you really think its a murder? What frustrates me sometimes is not being able to figure out what is true and what is false. I listened to 5 minutes so far, and the mother seems very well versed in these matters, and it definitely doesn't make sense about the suicide (no suicide note, super accomplished dude) .. but why in the world would Open AI have him taken out? Just doesn't seem convincing. Not sure

Haha that's good ,me too. I was thinking that maybe committing suicide is stupid. If karma has dealt you a bitter pill, swallow it. Reality is the whole package, we have to open our heart to everything, understand that it is part of the path, integrate it and place ourself on a higher level. It is possible.

I'm working on a compilation of fallacies, tactics, and phrases that leftists use to defend their ideology. Here are some patterns I have detected. *** #1 - The Iron Man Fallacy This isn't a formal fallacy. It's not a term used by academics. But it essentially means that one is distorting their own argument, or an ally's argument, to make it sound more reasonable than it actually is. Example #1: Brie Larson: "If you're a white male and you didn't like this movie, your opinion doesn't matter!" Critic: "That's both racist and sexist". Defender: "Brie Larson isn't being racist or sexist. She is expressing concern over the fact that in the movie industry, there is insufficient representation of females and ethnic minorities within movie critic communities. Not only that, she is explaining how white males aren't the target audience of this movie. Each movie has a specific target audience, that's how marketing works. It is perfectly expected that if you are a white male, you didn't enjoy that movie." Essentially, you can be an ass, as long as you're coming from a woke position, and someone will defend you and portray your argument as reasonable and fair. Example #2: Professor Flowers: "I literally want all whites to be deported from the places they invaded. The USA belongs to the natives, not to whites. Same with Africa." Critic: "That's very racist, toxic, and hateful". Defender: "Professor Flowers isn't racist. She's a black activist! She fights for equality of race. And she is criticising the issue of colonialism. To this very day, third world countries suffer from it. And ethnic minorities suffer in first world countries. A lot of the injustices are inherited, for instance descendents of slaves. To this day, there is a lot of racism and she is proposing a solution for the issue which involves separatism." Doesn't matter if you're white, poor, working at Mcdonald's. If you happen to have been born in USA, your entire family should be deported. You disgusting white! Example #3: Feminist scholar: "I literally hate men. I believe toxic masculinity is a trait universal to all men. I have studied Feminism for years and I know what I'm talking about. I literally believe that in order to be a true feminist, a woman should never have sex with men. And women should always look at society from the perspective that their are the oppressed and that all men are oppressors." Critic: "That's sexist, hateful, and very reductive. I don't think all men are toxic." Defender: "This person is an academic! What degrees do you have in Feminist studies? This person is highlighting the SYSTEMIC - not individual - oppression caused by men. She isn't saying that literally every individual man is evil. She's just pointing out the ways in which men benefit in society and women still have issues to be resolved. She isn't saying all men are toxic. She's saying that toxic masculinity is INHERENT to men. Only men have toxic masculinity, not women. You're misrepresenting that scholar's ideas." *** #2 - The Association Fallacy This is the notion that whatever some idea or argument is associated with is more important than the argument itself. Example #1: Critic: "I agree with Elon Musk that free speech is important and that anti hate speech laws are going too far." Leftist: "What? You agree with Elon Musk? The multi billionair egomaniac who is supporting Trump?" This one is obvious. Both the content and the structure of the argument are associated with the evil right. Example #2: Critic: "I went to a Jordan Peterson lecture in person last year. I enjoyed it. He gave some good life advice on how to gain self esteem and find meaning and satisfaction with the work you do." Leftist: "You like Jordan Peterson? The Alt Right guy? Don't tell me you're an incel or something". This one actually happened to me. And in case you're curious, Peterson spent 99% of the lecture talking about psychology and self help. He only spent like 2 or 3 minutes at the very end talking about the woke stuff. But of course, because Peterson is associated with Ben Shapiro, the right wing, and all that, it means he's Satan himself. And everything he does and says is evil and stupid and wrong. *** #3 - Applied Scientism™ Scientism is basically a misapplication and/or a reductive way to approach truth, as though only science and rigorous academic scientific methods are applicable to discover truth. Example #1: Critic: "I'm concerned about young men. I feel young men are feeling confused and frustrated nowadays. People in my social circle, my younger brother, young men online, I see a lot of young men experiencing depression and anger issues." Leftist: "What's your scientific peer reviewed literature on the topic? Your social circle? Pfft how unscientific of you. That's a very small sample. Do you want to look at these statistics I found from a Feminist book on why men in general have life a lot easier than women?" So it doesn't matter if there's evidence. It doesn't matter if you have lived experiences. Direct evidence. It doesn't matter if you have anecdotal evidence. It doesn't matter any kind of evidence. The only evidence that matters is peer reviewed, from Harvard, from the Sociology or Feminist department. If you give them evidence, but that comes from a psychology author who "isn't an expert in social psychology", then it's invalid. Because if you go against the narrative in any way, you need 100% quantifiable, peer reviewed, double blind experiments. Even if you give evidence (say, statistics on male suicide) it will always be nitpicked. "Oh you're applying a lot of interpretation from this data. You can't infer this from these statistics". So it doesn't matter, the excuses are endless. Meanwhile, if there's one single study that says trans women don't have advantage in women's sports, to them that's enough. One study on puberty blockers. One study on DEI. One study or one statistic for this thing they agree with, in that case it's not worth questioning it too much. *** This is going to be quite the long list. What about you? Do you have a favorite leftist fallacy or phrase?

Thanks Sorry youre going through that. But hey according to the Tao guy pain isn’t suffering so if we could just somehow stop suffering the pain😹 Suicidal thoughts are like a cope. I remember having at least once suicidal thoughts when younger but nothing serious . Now it’s more serious It can be weirdly comforting to think of suicide. But I try to maintain a strong mindset as I said and it works sometimes.

Sorry to hear that. Me too recently i have this chronic fatigue and chronic pain and caught a flu or something two weeks ago and since then the pain got much worse. And then suicidal thoughts just come up often. But for me the funny thing is that was always my go to. Whenever i suffer i think of death and not wanting to be here. Like when i was 9 some stuff in my family happened and this horrible kid bullied me at school and then i basically threatened the school with suicide already at 9. But so far it has never really come very close. I just want an exit strategy.

I am still young and working through my unique developmental deficiencies and human problems, and i am dedicated to going all the way spiritually. It is such a long process, because the foundation needs to be solid. I have been watching Leo for about 8 years. I found out about spirituality 10 years ago. I'm just getting started. Recently i've spent time with Ayahuasca people. They are so full of self deception it's crazy! If it were not for (mostly) Leo's videos i would've been sucked into cults, gotten into horrible relationships, would've gotten deep into debilitating addiction, or even suicide. As much as i love advanced metaphysics, practical videos are welcome and essential, imo.