modmyth

Member
  • Content count

    2,358
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About modmyth

  • Rank
    - - -

Personal Information

  • Location
    Vancouver BC
  • Gender
    Female

Recent Profile Visitors

7,517 profile views
  1. MIND-BODY SYSTEMS: When I was 15, I learned some Tai Chi from my martial arts teacher. The essentials, I guess. It really wasn't my thing then, and I didn't take to it naturally at all. (I still associate with something that 90-year-old something, 5 foot nothing Chinse people). It was just too... mellow? And I wasn't sure what the point of it was exactly other than the "cultivation of life force". Nothing was explained at all (other than that Qi Gong is the foundation of all Chinese martial arts, but not why). The traditional Chinese method is basically the physical version of rote learning, which does have some advantages in terms of naturalizing physical movement patterns, especially the younger you are. It's learning by demonstration and example, having your form corrected directly (through physical movement rather than explanation unless it was really necessary), and rote repetition. There are endurance exercises (e.g. holding the horse stance for a very uncomfortable length of time, and if not, WHY ARE YOU SO WEAK?! in the form of the Asian sifu stare of disapproval). There's not a whole lot of WHY (which is something that has never sat well with my personality) and asking too many questions is just... not the traditional way. It tends to be interpreted as insolence. >>>disapproving sifu stereotypes<<< I did start to practice kundalini yoga around this time period along with doing Chinese martial arts very seriously despite this... being a really awful time in my life emotionally due to the shellshock of a recent trauma plus my living situation and relation with my parents. It's not just that I was universally undisciplined, haha. (Actually, my sifu was a lot less strict with me that my parents were; I would say he went pretty light on me in general.) If qigong was introduced as moving meditation rather than focusing on flapping my arms around repetitively (feeling and embodiment over.. psychological externalization?), I might have taken to it differently. (Offtopic Side Note: I also started doing pilates around this age, my mom bought me a book which I still have in its original, completely tattered form. This is something to be grateful about, although I was not particularly disciplined about it. However, this book was great.) There's a pretty helpful reference page once you memorized all the exercises: (Why is there a wrench in this picture? ) For the instructions for the specific exercises, the pages were like this. On the left side were the physical instructions for each part of the exercise. On the left side were tips for finetuning your form, what to visualize while you were exercising in order to engage your muscles correctly, and how to coordinate your breathing. The last part I never quite got a hold of, in terms of putting it all together. Brook Siler, the author of this book, teaches Pilates in the traditional method as it was inherited from one of his disciplines, who I believe was considered the authority on the method until she died. For what it's worth, Pilates was originally designed tightly as a mind-body system, with the coordinated visualization and breathwork, but now that's mostly been taken out completely just to focus on the physical fitness aspect! (Seems to be a waste, IMO. You might as well go for the full package, but it does make it harder to memorize.) For the most part at this age, I did have trouble with really repetitive physical exercises, and this is the essence of Kung Fu training, but also Qi Gong. Kung Fu is a rather traditional way of teaching your kids discipline and to channel physical energy. I'm not inclined to criticize it as a sort of approach to anger and emotional management (although I had issues that needed to be resolved and addressed directly, not ignored). Anyways, Kung Fu is something that you can kind of force yourself or someone else to do at some level, especially if you're young for the mentioned reason of teaching discipline to youth, though not with optimal results, haha. Qi Gong? Not so much. It doesn't mesh with the Daoist spirit of it at all. (This kid... has been learning kung fu since he was 3. Learning pretty much right after or as you're starting to walk is not uncommon; probably most of the best martial artists started this young and doing martial arts is like walking or breathing to them. I knew someone like this and it's intimidating, not just because they're ridiculously good at what they do, but that blank look you get when ANYTHING is difficult, haha... But anyways, learning at the age of 3 because he was an unruly 3 year old? I honestly don't know how I feel about this ....is this too much discipline at too young an age, developmentally speaking?) I was looking again at the Shaolin/ Wushu school tonight, and then I came across this: I thought I would give Qi Gong another try, over half a lifetime later from when I originally tried it. Huh. Something clicked for me instantly. I can pretty effortlessly hold absolute open consciousness (which I define as a sort of psychoemotional stance/ attitude/ orientation and openness of the body, psyche, and energy systems across the board) while in movement doing this. Oh. This is going to be the gamechanger for me, isn't it, for yet another shift in "normal consciousness"? (Which is how I feel at every waking moment, but actually includes every nonwaking moment since it's all kind of the same shit TBH.) There is gap between when I intentionally focus to meditate still, and when I'm doing things at other moments in the day, though it varies between activities. The use of technology tends to draw me back into a sort of psychoemotional insularity ("containerism") that is not quite a resolved state. What's more, I can "do stuff" with the energy pretty effortlessly in this state. I'm not just shifting it around my body... I'm making something with it. What... do I call this? How do I describe what's happening? And yes, for what it's worth, I do have a past life link to the Daoist tradition plus memory of it, but I don't normally make an effort to draw from the past unless for a very specific reason. (I got around, I liked to do the stuff and be the things. I was pretty prolific.) The crossover will probably be expressing itself pretty effortlessly, I think. Maybe after about a week I'll be able to say very clearly what I can do with this now, what exactly is happening, and what it's for (other than the objective I mentioned above). Another side note: I wanted to make my own sort of mind-body system as a sort of cumulation of my own experience over this lifetime, plus whatever cumulative knowledge I have. I had been jotting down a bunch of notes and then got stuck. Something clearly is missing in the practice department. Perhaps later. Anyway, it's for personal use first and foremost.
  2. CAUSE + EFFECT// THE EXCHANGE, TAKING INVENTORY: don't take this super seriously, haha. I never actually write public posts if I'm legit annoyed/ angry for the most part. (Not because I have anything doing this, but because it tends to be a lot more incoherent for this purpose of "making sense" or generating perspective about the past. What should I call this, retrospection?) You blamed me for years, and I had no idea. You blamed me for ruining your whole life. I walked through your steps as best as I could because I wanted to understand you, what your life had been like. Many visions of your life had been recalled to me (and after everything that had passed, I started to doubt my own ability to see and judge clearly, like are these types of visions possible to fake once you bring desire in the form of excessive attachment to the outcome? But now I have greatly repaired my relationship with myself in this way.) I blamed you for the way the past 3 years had gone (and by extension, the cumulation of my whole earlier life in general as I assigned you the meaning of "act fo faith". You had no idea, or zero self-control or care (to whichever degree it was, I suspect it was mostly the first two). Much ranting was done about this online. When I was angry, I thought you were malicious. When I was less angry, I thought you were useless. Like... worse than useless. I wanted to understand you. Truly understand you, apparently including as best as I could directly from your perspective what you felt like through my own experience. You said you weren't in me, right? You thought I didn't understand or empathize, or I was lacking in this? Oh no, what did I get myself into. Haha... watch what you wish for. I thought I was no good at certain roles in life, regardless of what I wanted from life. Certain options always seemed off the table for me (e.g. the whole standard settled down lifestyle with a spouse and kids and a nice house and a pet, blah blah blah), and my own notion of "choice" arose from relatively limited options. "What I want" does not come up when you're digging up and resolving whatever must be resolved, whether you want to or not, or when you're wholly devoted to the idea of following fate, even if you feel like fate chained you up (and ultimately, yourself). I guess we used to have this in common? The takeaway from this? It's an example of being split or fractured in identity and purpose when you think you want something, but you want something else that contradicts and negates that desire. It's very very common. UNCONSCIOUSNESS: It seems that I thought on some level I couldn't face that it would be better if you had someone who could give you what I clearly couldn't or didn't want to because "life's work". Whatever. Maybe it is better; don't die alone, right? You said that you gave up everything for me. Bitch, really? You haven't had my life; you want to switch places for real? You pretty much always can give up more than whatever you originally thought was all you had to give up. But that you said you had meant something to me originally, for whatever that's worth. That's life. You assign meaning in this way and you give away your power because you're desperate; this can be taken away at a moment's notice. Relatable? So say you're me and you're back in my shoes, approaching things wholly how I approach it generally in almost all normal cases (and did in the past too, despite feeling very limited in some ways). You're responsible for how you reacted to me, the way I made you feel originally, and the meaning you made out of it, right? You bound yourself up that whole time, all of those years? Do you identify and accept this wholly, can you work with this well, or does it just make you feel like shit for what is perpetually beyond your reach? (Or something else?) I spent time wondering why someone who said he apparently waited at least 20 something years for me, would turn around and do what he did. Makes absolutely no sense from a personal perspective at all. It makes you want to go bang your own head into a wall when you're being too myopic in your way of looking at it all, in the hopes that maybe things will make more sense afterward. Are you responsible for the effects of what you said on me even a bit, or am I wholly responsible? These things need not be in conflict. I loved you (referring to this in a "personal" sense, obviously), but you're a bit of a lemming, you know that? But it was different when I thought you were my lemming. As opposed to a lemming that ran around doing whatever. So I'm responsible for you, but you're not "mine". Great. Well, here we are. Time to clean up the mess. At least lemmings are pretty cute.
  3. Creepy stalker anthem repost:
  4. RULES OF THUMB: It's been my experience that you know you're about ready to wrap something up (at least from your side) when resolving or releasing an issue is no longer such a big deal, but this feels naturally this way. You don't have to push or pull against it. There tend to be more and less effective ways to make something no object. Negotiating with "fate"/ reality as you find it tends to fail because of the structure of intention itself. If you could examine any intention or desire directly within yourself, you would see that this is the case. You can do the same thing with others; that we are social, mirroring beings (particularly with our own species) makes this fairly accessible. If you have clear, discerning sight with yourself, so you can with others, and vice versa. (Inevitably, this draws you back to the question, how can you discern the quality or value of what you perceive and intend, ultimately?) Anyway, the more you approach "higher levels" of discernment and judgment, the more you can perceive the quality of an intention by being aware of it rather effortlessly. This is... something you can train yourself to do if you believe it is possible or are open to the possibility (the latter being in the vein of "true skepticism"). Likely is it many years of work, but hey. Much more is possible in "practical reality" than we give ourselves credit for. The issue is not intrinsically about wanting to change anything or not. From "purified consciousness" rises purified intentions, right? Sort of, I mean... it's not intrinsic. You can just as easily continue doing what you've learned at earlier points in your life, to pick up your own bad old habits if you have lingering emotional intrigue to the past or through social osmosis and to refill yourself in this way. Or in a reverse, a child of high awareness can pick up the ways of the world, and essentially has no choice. This happens all the time. You stop calling it "negotiation" at all because of what this represents, or you give negotiation an entirely different meaning. There is a practice of intending freely, as if creating from a relatively blank slate. Desire itself is no object. There is also a flavour of possible development in here: fake it until you make it! Purify and liberate intention itself, not just "awareness" (as there is the tendency to draw a line here), and impossible things become possible. ...It's worth noting that we have lost belief in the ability to give words and ideas meaning, truly, and for this to mean exactly as we intend it. (But we tend to think that it is does because delusions.) To give words and ideas meaning is to give them power in any sense of the understanding of POWER. When I've said that belief is useless, I meant in the position where we tend to find ourselves by default, even after a lot of work on the self. Skepticism (both in the common usage of it as well as "true skepticism") and cynicism tend to be a universal feature of modernism and post-industrial societies, as well as a certain flavour of detachment from our bodies and our environment. In order for our words to have power, we have to say what we mean, and mean what we say. We have to be consolidated in our ethics and value systems, to be converging towards the unity and boundlessness of experience as well as personal and Universal self (me, you, everything, etc.) in all ways, which also means not being one person in one place and another person elsewhere (even if "place" is defined as solely within your individual experience of having a psyche, so it might not be visible to anyone else). Honesty, integrity, openness, and consolidation is actually the golden ticket, and there is no way to cheat this ultimately; if you "get away with it", all you are is buying yourself a little more time at best. What are you purifying anyway? What arc are you taking? Do you have the ability to recognize if something is going to be a failure before you've even started it, a knowingness, and an intuition? And how clearly do you see it? Do you know what it means to see more clearly in normal consciousness all the time? To potentially see the true cause and effect in anything that enters your field of perception? To be without the need of doubt, either as a more direct emotional addiction or as a sort of practical safeguard to prevent you from blindness and myopia (which also ultimately, the belief in the need for this is a sort of emotional attachment). Do you know that intuition unveils itself properly as absolute clarity if you can let it? Do you know that this is the direction and future of humanity? (As a side note: do you believe that you need safeguards, self-moderation, and self-restraint or censorship only because ultimately you can't trust yourself? Do you believe power intrinsically corrupts? Think about it: who implanted this lack of trust in you, and why?) There is no difference between awareness of causation and true intuition, ultimately. I have always had a good sense of this (intuition and cause and effect between various aspects, as well as a sense of the structure of the whole), but changing this into what it's become has very much been a choice, a series of choices, really. I return to once was myself, but for which there were no names, just a general awareness. You, dear reader, have the ability to see with a degree of clarity the mind scarcely dares to believe in it. It is against everything we tend to be taught. MORE IDEAL CORE BELIEFS: From my perspective, of course. They are all interrelated and relate to what I wrote about above. *I am aware of absolute cause and effect on any level. *I am totally aware of my own motivations and desires, and the outcomes of my intentions and actions in this world. (This is true freedom from “karma”; I myself define karma as absolute cause and effect, and freedom from it is merging with the awareness of this, which first starts with proper orientation.) *I see with absolute clarity. *I can trust in myself, and in my own judgments and perceptions fully. *I am always on my own side. (related to this: "people are on my side", or "people are not against me"; if there are issues with this. It's better to frame things as being without intrinsic conflict... unless you want conflict.) *I am in a state of total consolidation, wholeness, and openness. *My understanding and awareness is without limits or borders. ("inside" and "outside", if you still take this idea super seriousness. "Absolute openness" means you only make this distinction in language when you talk to other people.) *I mean what I say, and my words have power in this world. *What I want/ desire matters (which is always related to setting intentions, or intending anything, as desire is motivation itself. Also, you need a certain naturalized confidence and sense of purpose in order to get things done properly.) *My emotions and thoughts are on the same page (if you have trouble with the conflict between emotions and how you think or want to think, as mostly we all do). (***There is a deep-seated barrier of unbelievability that needs to be pierced one way or another.
  5. I remember when I tried too hard to be good for people, when I should have been real with people and good to myself first. It's not that I wasn't that way before exactly, but the more I see you like family, the more I tended to screw up that balance. Everything else tends to sort itself out. The more it's all at a sort of automatic and resolved level emotionally, the better it tends to work out in reality for you without needing to fight with people about anything, really. People are far more likely to accept your truth. "Outer" conflict as expressed in people and in your environment is a reflection/refraction of yourself, remember?
  6. THE TEST/ STUPID TESTS 2: For better and for worse, your actions from this time period actually determine the direction of the rest of my life significantly, in terms of what I will prioritize (or at the very least, the next 20 years or so). There has still been the need to sort through and make sense. I gave up a certain power for a time. It was too early, so I thought. So for that time after 2017 where I really believe you were truly on my side (in a personal way, like you were fully committed to my personal wellbeing and our life's work above everything else), I felt there was not much else but to observe, interpret, wait. Rinse and repeat. After a certain point in time, there would be nothing left to do from that vantage point. Our failure to connect and make sense of each other properly is a direct measure of the way the world is now, of both the structure of individual and collective psyche. Are you aware of that? And your inability to do what I wanted in personal sense, or to know what I was really thinking and feeling or my motivations? I mean this in the most literal and direct way of course, mind to mind. This is too much responsibility to put on you, I know. A certain degree of failure was unavoidable. I believed that a certain amount of devastation on my part was necessary should connecting fail in an essential way from where I was, which it is. I was prepared for that. I was actually, seeing and preparing for an infinitely better outcome. You know nothing of that, right? The thing is that... I could not speak of it then. What I was not prepared was for you to commit fully to the life you had apparently chosen. Also, EVERYTHING failed down to the last detail. What stuff you chose to show about me was inevitably the stuff that in my eyes, didn't define my experience very deeply then, because it did not touch on the WHY of my behaviour. You were probably the most important part of the WHY then. Without the why, it's superficial, which is understandable if you are only observing a person from a distance. You pretty much did the opposite of everything I wanted in a personal way, the more time went along. I am responsible for the ways I things turned out, even if there was a lot that was impossible to see at that time. I felt that it was my fault that I was not open enough, and could not be open and direct and clear enough in a very absolute way, like literally it felt insurmountable. But ultimately, you must take responsibility for the past, the present, the future. And when I go through the effort of blaming still, whenever I do, to do honour to my personal self more than anything else.
  7. THE TEST/ STUPID TESTS: There were aspects of myself that I was trying to gain clarification about over the past 3+ plus years, but I am mainly referring to the time period between early 2017-2019. I was waiting for a sign, you know? When it was the summer of 2015, I saw you from a distance, and I felt like lightning hit my body, and my awareness of being a normal, contained human being completely dissolved (even though my normal capacities have always tended to be a bit... different, or really different). It was very extreme, very total. And for a moment like I was absolutely conscious of everything, but especially that whole room. Absolute Self. I didn't say anything to you. I spent most of my twenties (particularly after 22-23) looking for the person (or people) who would help me make sense of what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life (remember, I exist to serve, and have always been of that mind). Look, no matter how desperate you are in a personal, emotional, romantic sense, it is impossible to synthesize that kind of experience for the purpose of emotional fulfillment and life purpose, haha. It is far beyond the limits of normal imagination. I knew instantly then that you were the person I was looking for, no question, despite the good handful of mindrendingly intense connections I have had with other people. You were the sign I was waiting for. For whatever reason, I had left it in you. I am inside you; I know. I could feel in then, and I could feel it before too. Also, you said so yourself. You said you needed me to find you, that you were waiting for me too, right? I was never looking for a square peg to stuff into the round hole, you know? It was not so personal back then though, despite what I had known and felt about you already via ESP. Dude ok. About past life connections. Just because something existed in the past, that there was a personal moment or an experience, doesn't mean that it should exist in the present. AT ALL. Sometimes connections are meant to exist for a few moments, and then to never happen again. There are people who I have been sad to let go of, like it did hurt a lot, and people who letting go of was more effortless. But I have known for my whole life that I have serious work to do, and I know that even if I find myself alone in my work at different points of my life, ultimately I need to be with people; there is a lot I can't do by myself. You could be the most powerful person in the world in any sense (including spiritually/energetically, if you believe in that stuff), and you still need direct contact with people to create change. Maybe not in the future, but now. You know, before early 2017 happened, I was of the mind that past life connections were pretty useless in the present. Like, I don't care who is looking for me, honestly. Or what you need from me unless it's in higher alignment. You don't know me in this life; you don't know why I do what I do, even if you know that I've been burdened. You don't know what I'm protecting you from (so you believed). You probably don't want to know me, it's probably not going to be of net benefit to any of us. Also, maybe I want to start over with new people too? I have had intense connections as a teenager, and honestly it just left me weary emotionally. I crave the intensity and purity of some of those connections, and was also tired of them, and tired of myself. Like... you're "mine" in a way and I'm absolutely responsible for you, but you won't even do what I want and need you to do. Do you know what this actually does to me, what this feels like? Do you know what you take from me? That it is possible at a certain stage to use your "free will" to fragment me, especially by walking away or cutting yourself off? The more you approach real oneness, the more it can get really scary especially if you have sort of unresolved or incompatible baggage. This is the difference between absolute codependence and interdependence. With "love" like this? I might as well just have "normal" connections then. I was of that mind originally. It disrupts my life too. Look at this and consider this carefully. All of our problems with oneness and connection are here. Just in general now, for what I have observed in the world which was said about me: some people talk SO much shit about me especially when I'm not there. Like you just expect me to fix everything. Being watched does nothing to make my life better, maybe you have no choice, fine. In the cases I have been written about, I have been more or less flattered, but like... ok. It's not personal to me. At this point, I rather you would just GET IT RIGHT or stop. You may find yourselves with no choice regardless. I am the way I am in this form and body for a reason, my whole life bends me towards the purpose I have come here to serve. I don't need this, it doesn't help me with my work, but hey, life goes on and so does your careers, right? I'm not in a great mood about a number of things; what do you expect? A shower of sparkles and a parade? Look at the world?? Do you know how much we have to change and how quickly this must happen? No matter how capable I might become, and indeed any of us might become, we all have our limitations working in form. There are logistics involved in getting anything done; you're kind of stuck with trusting my judgment about how things should be done in the end regardless. And we all must make sacrifices if we're serious about this work. We have no other choice. Collectively in general, you ask and expect too much of me (a personal, emotional sense, considering how my life has gone), and you haven't given me back exactly what I was looking for either (which I understand for when it wasn't possible anyways). Like I can just snap my fingers and feel like I've not been in the trenches, as if I don't need direct reference to what I've been through in order to make sense of...anything. You need to blame and get that out of your system, I understand. Anyways, I broke my rules for this man. I put him in a special category. In a personal outcome sort of way, he was absolutely not worth it, but the work continues. Remove how I feel about my personal, romantic life altogether; it's understandable that I would be preoccupied with this personally, right? Also, there is no option to eject this relationship, so I am connected to myself, so I am connected to people, some people more or less closely. The rules change completely. Like, imagine what it would be like if you had some annoying and disruptive ex you could just never get rid of because you changed too much ("we are always connected" to all things, past present future.")
  8. Once you have nothing to hide, truly, it is impossible for paranoia to exist.
  9. THE RESOLUTION OF ISSUES: Boy, you should have given me everything you have to offer. Your mind, your heart. Your body. All of it. I was worth all of that and much more. Also, if you were mine, you were not yours to give away in the first place. (Alert!! Entitlement mentality! "Possession" makes the world go round.) My work matters and the support I get in the way that I want and needs MATTERS. I am learning to change the way I think about myself still, in all of these nooks and crannies, from moment to moment. I think I have mentioned that I have found this process strange and backwards at times, like be more selfish in this case, really? Yes. Counter the effects of my whole childhood and attachment related issues entirely until it is no more. DIRECTNESS is the name of the game here. I have learned how to be very attentive to the many facets of intention and giving something meaning I will be able to look at you, and feel like I am lacking for nothing, that I am not weakened in anyway, so it would not occur to me to be angry or blame you. That's freedom. Not avoidance. I wish you wouldn't behave like an ant underneath my foot, but an ant you can be. Have your other ants and do your ant things. If there's anything that will get done between us, probably it will be when I feel like we're done. You are very helpful as a mirror, but you did not really choose that anyway, did you? Even I didn't know exactly the scope of what I was getting into fully. Yes, you matter. But your "choices". Be careful; so much of the world gets resolved from between us, I could have told you that 3+ years ago. If you are not by my side, not truly, not as I like, consciously and out in the open and with a free voice to say WHO I AM properly to this world, then you are the understudy, the shadow still. I am not an object of concealment and secrecy; I will not be treated like one. Is this better for you like this? I care but you are not worth the pity (some say all pity is a false virtue, you don't need or want this anyway do you?). It took me so many times to get this right; don't treat you like I treated my family, both making excuses from the get go, feeling walked over by your choices and actions, and then blaming you from a distance, trying to be happy for your and virtuous while nuking myself by default. I have empathy. I have had many different interations of having no voice. Still... Given any degree of choice, I would have done differently in your shoes. Ah ok... where's the real point of comparison here? I've heard what was said about me ancedotally, not just from you. It's said that I simply just take whatever I want, at least in some cases. That I'm cruel and heartless. Please. Say that I wasn't, where did that get me with you? Giving you the "choice"? So now I am more collected and unified, I can get what I want. Woop-dee-fucking-doo. That was totally expected. I inevitably become more this way with time. Practically speaking, changing the way I think may not make much difference in the outcome of events materially (what is the point??), but to resolve myself. And that's ok.
  10. THE SOCIAL DILEMMA, ON PARANOIA AND BEING MANIPULATED: So I watched this documentary tonight. So, I'm not going to make too many comments about the the structure or quality of the argumentation or too many other specific comments about the documentary, but I just wanted to share some related thoughts. I have never been one to have very strong fears about technology, and I'll admit it's something I've never empathized with fully when I was younger either, but I have been doing my best to try to understand from others' perspectives. The fear of the supposed intrinsic mega addictiveness of social media is .... ??? for me, but I've always had one foot back from it. How do you not shove ice cream or pies into your face everyday or stop yourself from getting super fat everytime you feel bored, hungry, or get an empty feeling inside? It's the same deal to me. I guess it's harder for people who are not used to being alone, or never learned how to deal with feelings related to that. I can empathize with this. I used to have a prof who grew up in a different generation, and he was very worried about being brainwashed by television ads, big advertisement, etc.; this was even before everyone insisted on joining Facebook in the late 2000s (which at the time, I pracically avoided on principle; my reaction to new technology and mediums when I was younger was usually to watch for a while, and then eventually to join it a year or two later than everyone else, to dabble in it for a while, and then to get bored with it. Anyways, Twitter was always Twatter for me; I refused to join.) Said prof was from an era where the structure of advertisement was profoundly different and arguably was more identifiably monotholic in its interests because of the amount of money needed to participate in big advertisement, national scale ads, etc. Hey, everyone! It's actually pretty simple! There is no fairy hoodoo magic that forces you to give up your power and become brainwashed even though you may be inhabiting a reality which gives you that impression that this is the case (as if social media, advertisers, and the forces behind it were in control of you and that's that. It's paranoia. It's fear. It's understandable.) This is even still true as the nature of advertising changes in becomes more targeted. Maybe I am an extreme optimist because I am practical and we need to figure out all of these related social issues regardless, but the fear of algorithms and being outsmarted by technology which will inevitably end in castrophe, really? Please. I am definitely no expert in computer science (although I would legimitately love to learn more, it's been a fascination of mine for at least a decade, and I'm fairly well read on the history, philosophy, and a few of the social issues related to the field). I'm trying to figure out why people are reacting to these issues as if human beings are on the path to get turned into batteries and harvested Matrix style. .... That movie was already a fine a metaphor for what happens when you live enculturated in society and simply accept what is given to you as is. (Fears... tend to have a nasty way of being reflected in your current experience.) A better metaphor for the algorthimic aspect of social media which reflects us in increasing tight and precise ways via targeted ads: it is like a mirror that not only reflects us but talks back but in a somewhat fragmented way ( but this precise targeting to the point of creating or tapping into unconscious demands... has always been the intention of advertisement though). People who are interpreting the feedback of algorithms are still... people. Even teams of people. Looks guys, there are only so many groups of evil supergeniuses to go around! Be mindful, but there is no reason to assume that they are intrinsically more intelligent than you. If it bothers you, educate yourself on the methodology of persuasion and deal with your emotions and unconsciousnesses properly and thoroughly. (Admittedly, I am and have always been extremely unparanoid at the thought of people or companies having data about my interests or forming perceptions or interpretations about my moods or what interests me. Bitch, have at it, haha; I could probably do your job better than you anyways.) So it is true that there are more opportunities for us to be advertised at now quantatively, I'm sure, and arguably it's much more discreet and integrated than it used to be (do people here remember the days when there was far more clickbait and popup ads). Anyways, I understand why that scares people. But still, I wanted to point out. You have just as much control and the ability to adapt and filter out right now as you ever have. Extra white noise is not as powerful as people think; there is a reason why are minds are so good at identifying and drowing it out. The ability to chance the effects of this exposure simply starts with the commitment to these beliefs: you have that power, you make that decision (or can), you have the intrinsic value which advertisement trying to get from you in the form of your attention. There is nothing that makes you intrinsically hookable beyond redemption. That we are social beings with certain predispositions that crave connection? Yes, sure. And from another perspective, it is highlighting what is lacking sorely in your life directly if you do find yourself hooked, so perhaps you should just observe it, and even consider thanking it as a sort of practice, so that you might have an actual perspective change. About fear: Always, always, face fear as directly as you can from moment to moment. The ethic of facing fear causes it to lose the power that comes from avoidance. You want to get closer to the Source? Face fear. Face anger. Face the ugly stuff. For society? Face the dark underbelly of it. Face sexuality (don't just make use of it: like get off and forget about it; if you are, I can practically garuntee that you are you are following a socially predetermined narrative about it if you don't investigate it directly, so then you give your power away here). Face the marginalized, the unacceptable, and everything you would rather ignore or which is way too easy to ignore because your environment does tend to structure and inform your reality about what is worth paying attention to. Face inconvenient truths. Learn to know the difference between making space for everything to be seen clearly under the light, and creating more conflict and paranoia in the search for truth in both yourself and others (and so, you MUST be committed to examining your own intentions with unflinching honesty, and also to do this even better: is to put no emotional distance between yourself and any of these discomforts.) The better you are at all of this, the more you are unified, and capable of seeing clearly and making accurate judgements. INTENTION: Again with this idea: repetitive, mindless advertising, for example, isn't as powerful as some people think it is. In any case where someone fears something to the point of paranoia, generally, facing it directly in relatively clear consciousness and in unified intention causes the so-called spell to break. If it's a deeply entrenched habit, it may probably take multiple times to start a new habit. First though, you must find away to break away from the hold of fear; as it takes a lot more energy to step out when quite literally, you feel so confined that you feel you must use force to break out, or simply give up preemptively, due to starting with a weakened intention, you already felt trapped to start with. For at least a moment, convince yourself you are not, or that reality is open ended, and there are always other choices. Conscious, unified intention is ALWAYS much more powerful than environmental debris. Lifelong habits can technically be broken in a very short period of time, almost instanteously, with right intention and consolidation with yourself. We tend to have trouble manifesting the most positive aspect of self belief here though. I don't know, you tell me; what is it? Either we are directly trained to think it was never possible in the first place, or it was never actually on our radar. With the latter, it was never part of the actual conversations we had (familial socialization, social dialetic/ discourse), or the questions we may have asked ourselves then; it's ourside our own labrinyth of experience and cultural matrix. Ok, this too can be taught to yourself, or heavily reinforced. Why the hell not? And if you believe it is not possible, why? If you are resistant to this notion? WHY? This is what you need; this is an example of honest introspection too, if you can answer these questions. There is no need to just believe what I say when you could answer your own questions better than I could. Build your relationship of both trust and the ability to perceive clearly and accurately with yourself. Hone the skill of judgement; you're gonna be doing it anyways; we're pretty much doing this all day long! Then also, you will have no conflicts with the world as presents itself based your own inability to judge truth from nontruth. This is so often a pillar at the root of paranoia. Anyways, I have gotten rid of lots of crap conditioning, which is very much like environmental debris. Directly, I have found the experience of it to be more fragmented and causing of distortion than anything else, when observing the phenomenon carefully. I have noticed that when people are fearful of a certain phenomenon, they continuously assign the object of fear an almost god-like power of omnipresence and omnipotence; this is the essence of paranoia (note: paranoia may actually be justified in some cases, but living in fear blows!). I am refering more to an emotional quality and perpetual imprinting of it on your limbic system rather than the content of conditioning. Feeding it more fear makes it immensely more powerful. Here is something to remember: all interactions of this sort always go two ways, and you are making a bunch of decisions in real time constantly for which you have forfeited your power, unless you have had a phenomeonal upbringing or you sorted this one out already. Attentiveness alone is more of an automatic overrule than people realize (and from this, comes the notion: do all of your so-called vices and sins hyperconsciously, and see what happens and if you can manage to sustain said vices/ sins. Newsflash: you can't!). The idea of the big bad evil reaching through the conditioning media and hypnotizing you; just no. Start by not buying into that bullshit, as in face it in openness and in honest spirit. You play starting with this premise, you give it power. "Live intentionally." With advertisement, remember that you are dealing with people who are also the sum total of their ability to set intentions, and when you feed yourself quality focus, this overrides relative unconsciousness, habituation, etc.) And be very very mindful of feeding into your own fear. Be very mindful of your own intentions and true motives for well... doing anything (the ULTIMATE karmic unravelment is all here). Learn to spot the difference between exploring fear and feeding it, and when in doubt...create a better frame for dealing with fear. (Which is what various designated "masters" have been helping people do in their work with psychoemotional integration.) ***I might create a list of core/ related beliefs related to this issue and explain a few more interrelationships for public reference, like I did for a few of my previous posts. Then it's negated, and you're done with it. FYI as far as reconditioning goes, I think it can be a lot easier than anticipated, as in this kind of conditioning doesn't exactly go as deep into the limbic system as people might think, most of the time. But if you are predisposed towards believing it's this massive, insurmountable obstacle, well that never helps. There is also an art to convincing yourself and therefore predisposing yourself into believing that everything is easy and more effortless. So as long as you can deal with reality as it presents itself, watch reality line up to this presuggestion.
  11. @Megan Alecia It can be oddly reassuring if you actually do believe that you are screwed either way; or from where you happen to find yourself currently, you gain some and you lose some, and you're not sure about the wins or losses. ...If you feel sure enough of it, that is. It saves the time thinking about what could have been or second guessing yourself.
  12. YOKOYAMA TAIKAN (Nihonga, the traditional Japanese arts revival, in contrast to the Yoga/ western-style paintings two posts above.
  13. YUKO SAEKI: Considered part of the Yoga movement; he helped develop modernism and Fauvist expressionism in 20th century Japanese painting. Two self portraits:
  14. MEIJI RESTORATION 2, "YOGA STYLE": This was influenced by studying the European Academic style of painting, and used oil paint, watercolour, pastels, ink, etchings, lithography, and other nontraditional mediums. It was officially promoted by the Meiji government as a form of modernization, and Japanese artists who wanted to continue painting in the traditional style split off into a seperate school ("Nihonga"). I'm documenting this for my own interest in art history more than I am for art reference. KURODA SEIKI: ASAI CHU:
  15. JAPANESE ART, MEIJI RESTORATION: Here is a small selection from after the country's modernization post-1868, after Emperor Meiji brought the shogunate to an end, and Japan opened its borders to Europe. European artists came to Japan and shared their skills, while Japanese artists were sent to study in Europe (I believe they studied in the French Academic style like Bouguereau, but I would have to double-check.) There was a rapid exchange of cultures and ideas between both cultures; this is when traditional Japanese woodblocks started influencing Art Nouveau massively, for example. CHIKANOBU TOYOHARA: I'm not a manga reader, but I definitely seen the influence here in the style of the frames. There are more than I can post, really.