Durka_Durka

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Posts posted by Durka_Durka

  2. Posted

    I've realised more and more recently that I cannot navigate this part of my journey alone. I need help. The idea of working with a psychotherapist to me seems like the best idea to get through this stage of being stuck and going round and round in circles. I've only ever been to one therapy session in my life and it was given to me for free by my university and then they never offered me another, so I don't really know what I'm doing. 

    Does anyone have any advice on what to look for/what to be aware of when looking for the right psychotherapist? 

  4. Posted

    You're not alone in needing to raise your self-esteem. I've been working on my self-esteem after years of being around people that never helped or taught me to do anything, unwilling to treat me like a human being who matters. But it does get better. Your key for building self-esteem is Nathaniel Branden. Branden's whole life was devoted to studying self-esteem and ways to raise it. This is his work I am working on at the minute which is considering his seminal work: 

    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pillars-Self-Esteem-Nathaniel-Branden-Ph-D/dp/0553374397/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1533240988&sr=8-1&keywords=six+pillars+of+self+esteem+by+nathaniel+branden

    I'd highly recommend working through that book. And taking the book very seriously, it works, at least I've seen definite improvements and I imagine I'll work through it several times before moving onto something else. 

    There is also a list of further study in the back if you felt so inclined, but this book will definitely help and you may feel like it is enough at the end. 

    I wish you all the best and blessing for your growth

  6. Posted

    I've been reading Jack Willis' book on Reichian therapy and he seems to be rather vague about the types of problems that it can help. Does anyone have any experience of Reichian therapy and what it helps release? 

    My understanding is that it helps release a lot of unconscious blocks and trauma that you may not be able to release by other techniques like talk therapy, journalling etc. 

  14. Posted

    My thinking is just fucked. Every subconscious thought and action I take seems to drag me toward hell, and directly away from where I want to go and live. I self-sabotage is everything, even easy things. And the only way I can think to be free of all this is suicide. I just don't know what to do and my parents (especially my mum) are so fucking unconscious that they don't know that they've fucked me and my sister. But my sister is equally a cu** as well. I just don't kno what to do. Basic self-help stuff is so fucking hard for me, especially because I'm still in my family's house. Basic self-help stuff that everyone seems to be able to do and it helps them, I can't even do. Because my fucking programming won't even allow it to work. 

    I feel so helpless and I can't deal with the world. Suicide seems like the only way to be free

  16. Posted

    @denydritz I think you're probably right, I've bookended my day pretty nicely. It will probably feel more natural as I keep at it. 

    With the tasks thing, I want to leave the Life Purpose course so I can fully focus on it and smash it once I can. But I'm in my early 20's and still living in my parents' house, without an income at the minute. I want to find my purpose and passion so that I can move straight into it, but I'm also weighing up that it'd probably be better to do that once I have my own place and life free from my family. I saw @Leo Gura talk about this in another comment: 

    Quote

    Get a job and move out. Until then, you're in a coping holding pattern.

    It's important to break free of your family and forge your own life. Then you can set all the rules and values.

    In your early 20's the #1 priority should be to master making a living for yourself so you are not anyone's slave, including not your boss's slave.

     

  17. Posted

    Having read this over again, I should make it more clear what my question is. 

    In my situation, or do you believe in general, that it is better to do a lot of things reasonably well and let them develop over time or should I do one thing at a time and make sure that I absolutely ace it and then move on to something else?

  18. Posted

    @Ascend I think you're severely overestimating someone in red thinking. I'm in blue (moving into orange I think) and even I have some internal issues with some things that Leo says, I cannot imagine a Red coming on here in the first place, let alone sticking around. Also if it were the case that you were to subtract two then that would mean I would be purple moving into red. Sorry, I just don't think that's possible

  20. Posted

    @Nahm I've been thinking that. My mate and I were actually discussing starting a woodworking side business tonight and I was far more into the into than getting a part time job. I do think I'll get a part time job but I think you're right that I'm more of an entrepreneur than an employee

    @Sage_Elias That sounds awesome! :) I hope everything goes well

    @Timotheus I'm of this opinion as well. I definitely don't think I want to get a job that is going to be super long term, if I ever get a full time job it will definitely be purely to supplement my business that I will be building in my free time

  21. Posted

    I've been really improving my own productivity lately, and I partly attribute that to increasing my consciousness through the six pillars of self esteem but also due to the fact that I've been unemployed and looking for part time work and found myself with much more time. And I've found that I've been doing lots of things better like keeping my routines more strong than they were before. My issue is, is that I want to take the life purpose course, and during that Leo did make a good point. That doing one thing at a time is better than doing lots of things at the same time. So you can ace that one thing. 

    If I were to rate all the recent changes that I've been making in terms of how often I do them and the quality at which I do them, it'd be something like:

    • Changing my wake up time - 7/10 - I usually get up almost straight away
    • Eating breakfast every day - 7.5/10 - I always eat a plate of vegetables in the morning but sometimes not much else
    • Cold showers - 6.5/10 - I sometimes have lukewarm/warm showers but I have cold showers more often
    • Taking care of my face and teeth - 8/10 - I now almost never miss this unless I really, really am in a rush and I always brush my teeth before bed, which I didn't do before
    • Gym - 9/10 - I go 4/5 times a week without fail
    • A healthy dinner - 7/10 - I don't eat extraordinarily healthy but I always have vegetables with my dinner (even if they're just salad greens) which is so much better than I did before and sometimes I would just skip eating dinner altogether
    • Meditation - 4/10 - My meditation now is nowhere near as strong as it once was, I now hear my mind much more faintly, which in some ways actually seems like a good thing but at the same time, I'm not sure if that means that my awareness has actually reduced
    • Journalling - 3/10 - This is almost always the thing that gets missed if I am too tired or just want to get an early night.

    My point being that I am juggling all these things that are relatively new to me and I'm doing well in most of them, but I could be doing great if I stuck at it. I know how important the life purpose course is and I want to fully take it on, and I would definitely take it as seriously as I could. But would it be better to wait until all this stuff is at say at least an 8 before diving into something like the life purpose course? Which I could then totally fucking smash? 

    Thoughts would be much appreciated.