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About Timotheus

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    Aspiring Baboon

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  1. @Socrates I find the movie Collateral(2004) to be quite beautiful. Don't get discouraged by the official trailer though. This movie greatly points out our isolation, anonymity and illusionary divisiveness especially in big cities. It also lets you question what's good and what's evil and in general what's meaning... It really is a beautiful movie. I can also recommend the movie "Tree of Life". Makes you reflect on life..
  2. "In each individual the spirit is made flesh, in each one the whole of creation suffers, in each one a Savior is crucified." "Only the ideas that we really live have any value. " - Hermann Hesse
  3. Quotes from the movie Collateral: Vincent: Most people - same job, same gig, doing the same thing 10 years from now. Us, we don't know what we are doing 10 minutes from now. Vincent: Someday my dream will come. One night you'll wake up and you'll discover it never happened. It's all turned around on you and it never will. Suddenly you are old, didn't happened and it never will, 'cause you were never going to do it anyway. Vincent: Get with it. Millions of galaxies of hundreds of millions of stars, in a speck on one in a blink. That's us, lost in space. The cop, you, me... Who notices? Vincent: Max, six billion people on the planet, you're getting bent out of shape cause of one fat guy. Max: Well, who was he? Vincent: What do you care? Have you ever heard of Rwanda? Max: Yes, I know Rwanda. Vincent: Well, tens of thousands killed before sundown. Nobody's killed people that fast since Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Did you bat an eye, Max? Max: What? Vincent: Did you join Amnesty International, Oxfam, Save the Whales, Greenpeace, or something? No. I off one fat Angelino and you throw a hissy fit. Max: Man, I don't know any Rwandans. Vincent: You don't know the guy in the trunk, either.
  4. From Dhammapada verse 178: Sole dominion over the earth, going to heaven, lordship over all worlds: the fruit of stream-entry excels them.
  5. "Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
  6. Time To Say Good-Bye Andrea Bocelli ( Featuring Sarah Brightman ) Time to .. just let go
  7. @Psyche_92 I've been there too. Have a bit of faith in this whole journey, be as conscious as possible as you meet those people or remember shit of the past. Soon it won't affect you anymore and you will even love these people for what they truly are. And remember they probably also went through some traumatic events which motivated them for these actions. This too shall pass. Love.
  8. Shit food makes me feel like shit. However when I am in a high concentration state of mind it feels like it is not dependent on anything "external". I'm not sure about going full vegan, since I tend to get iron deficiencies. I get easily tired and easily fall asleep when doing any practice under these circumstances, but I am not sure wether this might actually be a plateau to push through, since whenever this happened and I almost fell asleep or half asleep I just got this knowing I am THAT, but always very short lived and not "life changing". When I am well fed, natural foods and also eat slightly less calories than my body needs a day, then my focus is just epic in contrast and also of course peace of mind. I can sense the stillness throughout the day more easily. So I would say 80-90%. However, if grace comes in, it's not needed, that's what I would guess due to my experiences in high concentration states of mind.
  9. Eckhart Tolle. I've watched and listened to almost 100 hours of content. Just hearing his voice makes calm and peaceful. His level of empathy and compassion is enormous. I love his humour. Rupert Spira, as already mentioned. Such eloquence!
  10. Trip report - 300 mcg AL-LAD – Everything is made out of sexual energy This was the first trip, in which I didn't suffer. I have tripped about 10-12 times before, mostly on shrooms and LSD. Every time in those trips I sensed this intense feeling of fear and terror(sometimes deep sadness) in the first half of it, which by times made me roll on the floor shivering and sweating. The second half however was very peaceful. This kept me going. I've never experienced ego-death, probably because of this shit preventing me from going deeper. So, I already expected some shit coming up, but I was quite fed up and thought:"Okay, I don't care, even if I'm gonna die tonight, there's nothing to lose." I was lying on my couch waiting, being mindful. One hour after dropping it still no effect. "Did I eat too much and too recently? Did I buy some low quality shit? Bla bla bla.." But then..., well then there were some kind of visuals. A fractal structure. No typical geometrical fractal, more organic, alive, elegant and beautiful and so so VAST. "Is this the absolute? I mean look at this these are entire worlds! Are they? But it's not yet clear enough... What is this shit!?". I got interrupted by some intense acoustics. Sexual acoustics, and also this intense feeling( of love?) in my chest and belly. Although I didn't orgasm, this was quite nice. Then I got back again to this fractal structure. "Wait. All of this is made out of this intense feeling. This energy. Sexual energy! How epic is that!? I AM MADE OUT OF THIS. EVERYTHING IS" I watched myself laughing. It felt like hours."How could I be so stupid by taking life so goddamn serious? It's all fine. Even better, it's all epic and with every step on this journey it's getting even better!!" "Wait.. I watched myself laughing.. who was watching?" - I embraced not knowing. A thought came up. I remembered this strange intuition of: "How do I know my thoughts are as private as I think? How do I know these are MY thoughts?" Then it felt like I could listen to some of you guys' thoughts. Some questions came up, which have been actually posted shortly after this event on the forum.. Am I just deluded? Who knows. "I" thought about a coach I follow since years. Thought about his history, how he achieved what he achieved, his impact. The next day he posted an article describing exactly that.. Some time after, no more visuals, acoustics or "thoughts" as mentioned above. I went to my meditation cushion to do some concentration practice. It got SO FUCKING INTENSE, that this intense feeling of sexual energy returned( I actually got sexually aroused on my cushion, but nothing can distract me! ), but like 10x. I realized that I and everyone else can just fucking create energy out of NOTHING. Low self esteem? How stupid, your are already godlike! I remembered @Nahm mentioning how beautiful Leo is and him saying he's just as beautiful as everyone else. I glimpsed what he meant.. . Everyone of us is an entire universe of itself. Look at you. BILLIONS OF CELLS you know nothing about! Later I listened to some music. Every piece of it made me shiver. Never experienced such beauty before! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRfGG9XxJ3Y Life is meant to be enjoyed. Accept every moment of it as it is. Enjoy it! Life is such a special oppurtunity, live it! Don't let your fears drain the life out of you! Thank you to all of you guys for existing!