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About Freakrik

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  • Birthday 02/11/1999

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  1. Tbh i both and neither. I Don't know. I just had a feeling that everything could be ripped away
  2. just had a mini panic attack. my ego is confused about reality. Feels like all of the things i looking forward to. Earning money so i can travel europe with my friends, Doing pick up, meeting women that i can connect to on an authentic connect to. Having fun memories. Just in a second can be ripped away as meaningless and i will be left with an empty reality that lost its magic. Is this a side effect on meditaion? i remember dark side of meditation. I am not ready for awekening. I got too high on weed an that was too much for me. I love this reality too much.
  3. Leo said god wants to experience everything. I was a bit unsadisfied with What is god part 2 because he did not Give a Good explanation of direct experience of being reborn. Does that mean i Will have an direct experience of everthing? @Leo Gura can you explain this?
  4. Ah moving to the countryside That's the exact thing i realized i wanted to Move to "take me Home" made me realize that. And ofcourse i want to set true meaningful with a few ppl. But i am still Young and i need to find the ones i want to connect to. And game is the way for that plus i want to game for a couple of years. (If i Don't find a girl i click with) and if i break up Then back to game
  5. Follow up to my other post. Long story short i took alot of weed. It felt like going from zero t 100 at once. When i got high i experienced something that i called uncanny beaty. It was beautiful But it was something off about it. I feelt happy But it was dirty happines. This happiness felt uncanny and has made me skepical to the kinda of happines of 5 meo dmt/god etc. Because i felt No matter how Strong this happiness it is not gonna feel Good deep down. The kinds of happiness i wanted to experience was for example when i was a child and swimming in the big Waves with my cousine. I want it to feel real. It also felt wierd and made me hate this kind of "happiness". The Word "uncanny happiness" just came to me. I know this post it's similar to my last But i want to talk about this
  6. Hahha It's probebly gonna Take a Long time for that. A Long long long long time. But Things like meditation can to good to make me more present when i am going to nature. I became more thankfull to be able to live this live. When it kickad in i experienced something that i can only describe uncanny beauty. It was beautyfull But it was something of about it. I realized how much i disliked this type of happieness. It was weird and i hated it.
  7. Feels like this thing with enlightment is Fake happines. Like Taking a drug. You feel happy But deep down inside it Feels Fake. Or atleast that is my experience
  8. With game my highest goal is that I want to connect with women that have chemestry with me. But in order do that i need to find them and learning to show them i am amazing guy. But it Also include meaningless one night stands.
  9. I got really high and i started to realize that i exist in consciousness. I did not like it. I mean it was cool But i wanted to go back.
  10. I realized i Love my sober self and the material world. I realized as Long as i am in my ego form i cannot go to Hell because if am not dead i cannot get trapped in a Hell realm with infinite suffering. I realized i really want to go to belarus and meet beautiful women with great personalites. When i was on the back down i was lisening on "Take me Home country road". I thought of how much i am gonna Love the nature biketrips next summer. I realized how lucky i am to live this life. How much more present i was gonna be with the Things i Love. Until i die and have No Idea What is gonna happen or if i ever get to live in such a beautiful world ever again. I am not gonna take more drugs. I Don't think spirutuality Will bring me true happiness. Edit: i also realized i need to Move to a bigger city asap and start to get really Good at game.
  11. How often do you do it btw? I thought when you see god everything else loses its value
  12. @Leo Gura are you still daygaming? I thought you had grown out of pick up years ago
  13. @Leo Gura in your death video you said nothing can disturb you anymore but in what is god part 2 you said if you kill yourself you might get reborn as a bird and god is constantly recarnating himself in diffrent forms. What do you mean?
  14. @Leo Gura is there a way to break the cyckle?
  15. yeah why does he allow suffering