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About mandyjw

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  1. And on the seventh day God rested, and thought to herself "What have have I done? I'm not going to sleep for the next 18 billion years. "
  2. Well see, I already decided it would be more fun if you seem to have your own free will too.
  3. I guess we just need to get @Mikael89 and some others a little bit oneness drunk.
  4. Yes Mikael, I forgot FREE WILL! Thank you! You are so free that you can deny all the wonderful implications of oneness, so free that you can choose bondage. I am magic every minute of the day, and so are you.
  5. Symbolism is powerful, always pointing to something deeper, but it's popular to disregard it as silly, or simply a marketing technique. Why do we assign the meaning to colors that we do? Is it possible they have meanings and invoke reactions deeper than we are aware of on the surface? This is one of my favorite quotes from Moby Dick. "But not yet have we solved the incantation of this whiteness, and learned why it appeals with such power to the soul; and more strange and far more portentous – why, as we have seen, it is at once the most meaning symbol of spiritual things, nay, the very veil of the Christian’s Deity; and yet should be as it is, the intensifying agent in things the most appalling to mankind. Is it that by its indefiniteness it shadows forth the heartless voids and immensities of the universe, and thus stabs us from behind with the thought of annihilation, when beholding the white depths of the milky way? Or is it, that as in essence whiteness is not so much a colour as the visible absence of colour; and at the same time the concrete of all colours; is it for these reasons that there is such a dumb blankness, full of meaning, in a wide landscape of snows – a colourless, all-colour of atheism from which we shrink? (42.25-26)"
  6. All your favorite childhood stories and dreams are real. You can be or do anything you want. You are never alone, angels, God, spirit guides, source, whatever you want to call it or form you imagine is takes is always there. You can tap into all the happy memories or future bliss anyone ever had or will have, now. Source/God/Oneness has infinitely different flavors and resonances as it comes through to us, it's not just like having one boring flavor of ice cream all the time. You imagine your reality so you have the power to guide and hold your focus toward the most beautiful visions and feelings you have, and in doing so guide the manifestations of reality towards that. A chipmunk in the woods eating a pine cone is as important an event as a meeting of the world's most powerful leaders. What do you have to add?
  7. The most horrifying thing that I've experienced as a mother is that unconscious love for your children is such a violent back and forth that it causes a lot of suffering. Unconscious love means that you are terrified that something will happen to your baby, and you spent more of your time imagining all kinds of awful things happening rather than in appreciation of this new life. Our culture plays into this, and sells new moms all kinds of products to prevent SIDS, etc, that actually only serve to increase anxiety. You realize that you are now handicapped in taking care of yourself, yet you must take care of yourself for the survival of your infant. Postpartum depression is an interesting manifestation, and so poorly understood.
  8. I'm continually having dreams about being frustrated. I try to do something I've intended and taken steps to put into action and my plans last minute get ruined by other people. The strange thing is that the things I'm trying to do in my dreams aren't even things I really want. Or do I?
  9. @Leo Gura You know the red queen effect with survival? That the more survival plays out the more other things catch up to it? What is the relationship to survival and love? For example from a woman's/mother's point of view, how much of her love for her partner and children is survival and how much of it transcends that. Does she logically have to know there's a difference to transcend it? Or does love transcend it in itself. Is love itself the structure? Can love not also be the content?
  10. Very cool. "Well, in our country," said Alice, still panting a little, "you'd generally get to somewhere else—if you run very fast for a long time, as we've been doing." "A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"
  11. It's more about how you contemplate and "see" the event, rather than the action you take. For example if someone crosses a line and is using you, you take appropriate action to protect yourself and prevent it from happening again. But instead of blaming them for the event and being reactive you contemplate how you might have attracted the event and how the event may have served to show you something about yourself. It's less about the action you take and what happens and more about being present enough to witness how you feel about it, and how you can take responsibility for it. Blaming and going into stories of self and other is our avoidance of witnessing how we really feel and misses the opportunity to see how we are creating or attracting all the interactions we have. We can however remove ourselves from situations or speak up for ourselves just because it's the appropriate action to take, and we can do it without blaming or suffering ourselves.
  12. I realized that it requires infinite intelligence to be as dumb as a rock. Makes me feel better about my SAT scores.
  13. First of all you are going through a major transition and most people your age have depression and weight gain when they move out for the first time. You've heard of the freshman 15 right? Its actually a really big life change so give yourself a break and focus on the things that are going right, so matter how small. I second the exercise suggestion a short run or walk daily will improve so many of those areas at once. Good luck!
  14. I've had this happen too. I focused on the background sound (or silence) while mediating or meditated while running for a while and then eventually was able to focus on my breath without hyperventilating. You can also do Wim Hof breathing, or shamanic breathing while laying down, where hyperventilating is the objective.
  15. There's a tendency to want to lock into a way of acting, having no drive to want meaningful relationships is something that can only be in the moment, we can never become someone who has no desires. Wanting itself is not from the ego, the idea of the one who wants or does not want is the ego. Wanting arises or does not.