Realms of Wonder

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About Realms of Wonder

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  • Birthday 02/08/1998

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    Portland Oregon
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    Male

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  1. Hi, Actualizing crew, Lately I have noticed my mind really looking for and finding ways to distract myself, with shallow pointless YouTube videos, porn, watching more movies, and generally speaking, feeling drawn to keep my mind busy. I am looking for perspective, higher level wisdom or personal experience to shed light on what could be happening, why my mind is trying to distract me, and what mindset shifts may need to happen to pass through this. For context I am Working 26-28 hours a week Going to school around 23-26 hours a week, (18 hours of class, 5-8 hours of study/homework.) Investing around 50-70 minutes into meditation, stretching, and going for walks as my morning routine Playing music around 3-6 hours a week There are a few different perspectives I am recognizing/actions I could take. To accept what I am doing, the behavior, and try to exhaust it. To force myself to quit them all To cut back on my time with those distractions and make more time for other, more productive and fulfilling things. Judgment for not living up to my ideals, of filling my time 100% with productive and life purpose related things, meditating more, playing more music, etc.. Seeing it as a phase I am going through on my journey, not to freak out or take any drastic action, but to experience it and try to learn from it. Question deeply why I am distracting myself, this one is scary and seems like a lot of work (especially in contrast to the high pleasure activities my mind is filling with.) Look for the needs these behaviors are fulfilling, try and meet those needs in more conscious ways. Big picture, its all good, I intuit that over the course of 5-20 years, it will become clear what stage this is, what to do or not do, and I will continue with my routines, and this path, curious to hear what you have to say!
  2. Big picture, taking a gap year may be a huge positive, if you work towards moving out, you will learn so much about yourself, you will become more independent and start to experience more of life. Graduating at 23 is still very young. It sounds like there is a lot more going on then just failing the exam, I would say, at 18, start building a clear vision of what you want in life. First practical step? make the decision to move out, then work towards it, if that means getting a job, saving money, etc.. do that. You have no idea how big the world is when you live with your parents. I moved out at 18, and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
  3. Only danger I can think of is increasing doses over time into actual mini-moderate doses could hinder the day to day.
  4. Don’t be toxic to eachother. Do your best to understand where they are coming from, it does not need to be an argument.
  5. I had a similar question, here’s the thread, great stuff on here.
  6. Do you meditate now? how do you know that many people do that?
  7. What do you think? What have you experienced in relation to this query? What has your research come up with?
  8. Thank you all for your input, Especially @puporing @Michael569 @museumoftrees @thepixelmonk @King Merk @Asayake With your perspective plus my personal experience of this, I realize I am taking on too much at once, working this much plus everything else is really taking its toll, its not allowing me to take care of myself the way I want to, or to really enjoy schooling. Thankfully, my parents swooped in, and are giving me financial support during this chapter, I started crying when they offered, ugly crying, snot and tears running LOL, for a solid 3-4 minutes as I realized just how emotionally spent I was, and how big of a difference it would make to cut my hours down to 26 per week at work. They saw me burning out and extended it to me, wanting the process of learning, growing and becoming a massage therapist to be more enjoyable, that's Love, they aren't telling me what to do, just cheerleading my dreams, wow. This will give space to play music a bit more, make some time for nature, and study the way I want to, enjoying this journey. Ultimately, going to school to be a massage therapist is the foundation of my future Life Purpose, to be financially free, independent music artist. Thank you for that perspective, you're right, its not a sprint, but I have been treating it like one.. No wonder I have been burning out
  9. I think you are saying to let go of anything other then the most important thing to master in this chapter of life, to give my attention fully to that and see it through till the end, then move onto the next thing, am I understanding you? Not sure how I am being impractical, working a cooking job is unfulfilling, and it keeps me mired in my zone of competence. Going to school for massage therapy is my focus, and is the one thing my effort is going towards building for the next 15 months till I graduate and then pass the MBLEX to become licensed. Why? Because through that process I move into my zone of excellence, and to have more time to focus on my Life Purpose, (play music that expands peoples consciousness of their self by expressing Authenticity with Music,) and zone of genius, Songwriting. You are right, it wont be quick, it will take almost a year and a half to build a foundation (career wise,) to engineer a situation that allows me to focus 20-25 hours a week on my calling, being an independent music artist. I am doing my best to think big picture, yes, right now I am not able to give much attention to music, but in two years, when I am practicing as a massage therapist I will be able to pay my bills well by helping others, and working 20-25 hours a week, that's an ideal situation for me to build my fanbase, continue to hone my skills and develop mastery. Long term, this is a stepping stone, I recognize that. As far as plans go...You have no idea
  10. Applying this advice tomorrow, no goal related activities aside from meal prep. Thanks for the advice
  11. Important to understand for yourself why you want an Instagram account at all. Why do you want to be on Instagram? What are you hoping to get from it? Instagram is marketing, what you market is dependent on WHY you are even there.
  12. @thepixelmonk Thank you for pointing that out, its easy for me to forget to appreciate myself for the work being done. Love that Video, its what led me to pulling the trigger to go to school. That's really good advice, I think you're saying to focus in and connect with why I made the decision, and move/do from that place, am I understanding you?
  13. Thank you may help release pent up emotions.
  14. Hi Actualizing crew, I am starting to burn out, and I dont know why or what to do. I am finding myself more and more drawn to distracting myself, procrastination, and unfulfilling activities when I do have any "free"/in between time, and it is leaving me drained, emotionally, physically and creatively. I am also noticing my sleep schedule as being off, sleeping less then necessary to perform the way I want to at school and work and in my personal life. Context: (where I am at/What I am doing) 24, decently fit, eating decently healthy Working 35 hours a week as a cook. Going to school full time for massage therapy, now 4 weeks in. (18 hours of class, 10-16 hours study/homework.) Continuing to meditate at least 15 minutes in busy days, up to 30 on others. Taking a walk in the morning 4 times a week. Creating music around 2-3 hours a week Meal prepping around 2 hours a week Biking to school 3 days a week (around 2 hours of biking) Reading (outside of textbooks) around 2 hours a week. YouTube, Averaging 2-3 hours a week Phone, averaging 1.2 hours a day Watching about 1 movie a week Jerking off 3-7 times a week Context: (Why I am doing it) I am working full time to pay my bills, and going to massage school to become a LMT. My long term vision is to be an independent Music artist, to play music that expands peoples consciousness of their self by expressing Authenticity with Music. I want a stable, low hour, high impact, well paying job as the next chapter of my career, allowing me to invest 20-25 hours into my Life purpose (Music.) I want to impact people with massage, I see it as a manual/physical way to bring awareness back to their self, for them to experience themselves from new perspectives and understand why they are the way they are. I want to be financially free, stable, and have a healthy psychology of money. I want to meet my basic needs so I can Self-Actualize on a new level. I see this chapter as setting up the foundation to build my life into my Zone of genius (Songwriting) I am feeling overwhelmed, unsure whether I can keep it up for the 15 months of school, scared of what would happen if I burn out, excited for school, sad I am not out in nature more, I miss playing music every day, I miss having more free time, I feel my mind is breaking itself trying to figure out what is going on, I feel myself changing, I feel ego Backlashes like I haven't felt before. And I am not sure what to do. I am really trying to accept myself through this, love myself through this, remove the NEED to perform or be perfect through this, to allow myself to express my feelings and love all of that. I know that I will be okay, maybe this is just a transition period, or not, I dont know, either way, I know in the end I will be fine. What do you see in this? What perspective/wisdom would you add? What would you do differently? What resources have helped you with burnout? Thanks for considering replying, All the best, I send to you desire to be authentic, and love <3