Benton

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About Benton

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  • Birthday 08/26/2000

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    U.S Utah
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  1. I am taking a break from this forum.
  2. I was just reuploading these poems from my old journal that I deleted. They were not for anyone. Except the last one. It's new. And it's about spirituality.
  3. I wrote this listening to this. Nodding my head I can hear my tiny voice, whispering in my ear. I say to me oh how gayfully you play to be this one and only. But only if you could understand. I open my hands and I pray to be. My mode is honesty. I write this in truth... But in sooth it might not be. See I write this in honesty. Oh! what a travesty to me that was! Who am I to say what is and isn't honest. I can only find to understand. That reality is even more grand than what it meant to me. My meaning is fake. You only know what you take. And at this rate we are going to make a mistake. Great. Now look at what was meant to me. It has gone away never to return again. I don't even have enough of a concept of a head for mine to spin. It looks like life is a win-win. But what is that in the distance...? Nothing? Good riddance. What is left.
  4. None of us are, better or worse than another. We are exactly where we need to be. And wherever you take yourself is where you are supposed to go. This point in life is learning. This point in life is when we realize things about ourselves. The pain, and trauma being recognized. As Sadhguru says it may seem like shit. But really it is the fertilizer for your flowers. This is when we realize that we are our own freedom. It is when your desire, for the ecstasy of who you are burns. Do you want bliss, ecstasy, Divine Love? Do you want that love for yourself? Do you feel you are missing something? Like you aren’t whole inside? Do you wish you could finally feel whole inside? Feel that burning desire for this. Just stoke that desire for the truth of what you are. For your own love. Feel it burning inside, as intensely as you can. Feel it burn, because you know you deserve love. Even if you don’t think so, that pain is you knowing that you do. That desire will set you free. That desire is the freedom. Love thyself, and know thyself through this love. It is what you are. Know the Divinity of You. Not some you, out in the distance. Not some outside ecstasy in some other you. Not some you in the future. It’s the You right now. Yes You, the one who heard me. That is the one I am speaking too. You are the God Leo refers too. You are the one we where all pointing too. You. You. You. Love. Love. Love.
  5. So yes, it’s just me. Classic. I only have my own pleasure. It is only my own ecstasy I can be drunk off of. I am the one who savors myself and my time. I will always be disappointed if I expect to get my love from “other”. I have really been humbled. Yes, I am speaking to myself. With the way I feel rn, what would I want someone else to say to me? Its ok. Your are included. Your are not insane, no need to be so defensive. I love you. Whichever way you are. It’s ok. Whichever way you choose to be. It’s ok. I still love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. Be at peace with presence. I deserve my own love. Drink from me, and take your fill. Sit with myself. I am my own thrill. I am the one who feels. That’s ok. It’s ok to feel. whichever way you are.. Its ok. I love you. Savor this moment.
  6. Death is Bliss, Love is God, God is Bliss, Bliss is Death. One Love. And in Death God discovers himself. In Death I discovered Bliss. Divine ecstasy that pops my bubble. And leaves me as groundless, as I am boundless. There is no space here. Only Being. I am not here, or there. I am not anywhere. I can only say that I Am.
  7. Allowing my thoughts to fly: The earth is aether and either is or. Life is my lady and nature my whore. I treat her well as long as she fills my well. But after the fact, I drill, and drill into her empty shell. Life on earth is heaven but for most it is hell. Luckily I am neither and both, and find everything to be swell. The world sings sweet songs to me echoing through my mind. I hear it in the sounds of workers digging through the mines. Crying and toiling with effortless, effort. lines and divides cease to be. Kneeling, dirt rubs into torn knees. Into the earth I bleed, and into the earth the liquid fills turning into seas. Maximum efficiency is our only desire. Through the earths bones, we run our wire, labor is cheap and always for hire. Drive the costs and prices up higher, and higher. The world sees itself and knows it’s situation is dire. If I could take myself to be by any means then I would mean to be me. If everything feels as everything is then I am seeing as feeling. Words flutter likes birds are thoughts. Gliding effortlessly across the surface of my mind. The times may be trying but only as long as I am trying. Is that true? Is it who, what, when, or where? Wearing forms like suits, I am the ultimate liar. Let’s see what I got here. Ok I edited it somewhat but I’m ok with how it is mostly. I was just letting myself type and seeing what I said
  8. love is like the air in the wind. I’m always here even when you don’t think you feel me. I am the Earth, and you are looking at my rocks. I am the sea, and you only see my fish. I am space and you are only looking at my Planets. I am the rocks, the fish, and the planets. I am that which holds everything within its embrace. I am everything held within my own embrace. I am God holding you, as myself. The wind around your face in a pleasant breeze. I am your longing for something more. search your longing and you will find me. You will find me as the one who allows for all things. And who is all things allowed. I am personal, I am abstract. I’m so close I’m in your breath and beating heart. I am your fantasies and dreams. And I am real. Just as the Earth holds all the rocks. And is those rocks. I am the Universe holding you, I am you being held. Love yourself. For that is what you are. The one who holds, and the one who is held. Their is only you. So Love yourself, and feel your own embrace. Their is only you.
  9. I take my time. I have a limited amount, but oh so much. I am my own rhyme, and rhythm, and reason. I gaze into my eternal solitude. And I salute myself. Because even though I don’t know. I give myself a cheeky wink to let myself know, I’m aware. What is my love? Do I see it in your eyes, or my own? Can I even tell the difference? Not so long as I see myself in all of you. What is my love? Is it in the constellations reflecting off of a still mountain lake? What is my love? Is it the wars, and the hate ,and the violence? I see myself in you so I see only love. My Love, It is all a dream my child. It shall soon pass. Your fear is my love so fear not. Your fear is your love so fear not. Cant you see it? It’s right in front of you. Divine ecstasy in every facet of reality. It’s yours, it’s your home. To love your hates, and fears, and grievances is to come home. So come home to yourself, Love. I’ll be here to hold you in my arms.
  10. I meet myself in the middle. I’ve never found a point outside of this. Candidly I look at reality. I see a self reflecting eye. It looks upon itself with wonder. It cannot help but fall in love with itself. It sees what it has done for itself. Namaste. So very deeply namaste. I understand that true faith comes from self. Every part of myself is as grand as it’s own universe. The light is reflected upon the eye casting the image of what is seen upon it. A tear falls, it never knew how good it was to itself. It is enraptured, with its own love. Allowing itself more, and more. Love has no end or beginning. right now is the moment the universe was created. The eye is empty so it can be full. This is my love. Can you see me? Can you see me? Or do you sleep restlessly, or peacefully? It is all ok my son. All that was done. Was done for you.
  11. The stars have never really been alone, they have only ever been as they are. The sea turtle has never been lost. At home as long as she is at sea. The rain never mourned it’s distance from its sisters. It knows it will meet them once again on the ground, and again in clouds. Never has my pride sought to remain, to comfort me in my wanderings and account for my pain. Always has everything been true, seeking to remind me that above the gray skies Is blue. And beyond that, stars that are never lonely.
  12. The moon full of light, the birds circling far of sight. A ship sails, deep into the night. Dipping, in and out of inky black waves, never touching the moons light, for of its warmth it was afraid. The ship had no need of sails, for her captain was love. And love always prevails. The crew soon feared, for close to the moons light, their destination neared. But then again the ship found only shadow. The crew wondered, despite the knowledge they had gained, they had still been lead astray and asunder. They sat still, presently in time. And as the nights passed, the crew forgot all they had known. And remembered the divine. Following their captains gaze. The crew looked inside. And found that the light had been inside them. Blinking stars, in the mind.
  13. I wish I didn’t have to go so soon; but it is the way things are, like when the sun comes after the moon. I wish it wasn’t left to my remnants to mourn, to look back on the things I have done and the day I was born. I’ve always known what it means to be alone. But never felt the true pain of leaving a familiar home. As I change, I never expect to die. The moon always looked the same after all the times it waxed, and waned. As years and years of my life are concluded, I look now into time. I see now what I had was everything. And never was mine.
  14. Man it is actually beautiful today. And also shpongle. I am curious what it would be like listening to them on pharmuasca. If it's anywhere near as strong of a trip as it was last night then probably a little too crazy haha
  15. @seriousman24 I am very aware of the full moon. It was last night where I live. It was a buddhas moon too. I actually did a pharmuasca trip last night for it. It was a good but knarly trip. She has been harassing me for a while. As long as she doesn't message me again all is well. I want this thread to be about the topic above not drama. But I appreciate your concern.