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About RickyBalboa

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  1. @undeather I'm curious now. I'm potentially one of these idiots. Assuming I was, what would some of the common blindspots and biases be that would reveal that I'm not where I think I am?
  2. @Elham Behold the rare and elusive Turquoise!
  3. and which qualities actively trigger you? Hope I'm not starting a war by posting this.
  4. @ivankiss I get occasional downloads. My downloads are usually more centered around what I'm doing in my life the most at a given time. For now that's painting so I get visions of certain color pallets interacting amongst itself with specific flowing motions. This happens most often before I fall asleep. My issue with the music downloads is that they literally fade from memory as quickly as I can get up and even figure out what it was that was going on rhythmically and melodically. Maybe I need to improve on music theory so that I have a template for what is actually happening and I can more easily get those ideas down before they fade so quickly. Times I have tried in the past fail miserably. I have gotten into meditative states where I am able to compose music in real time in my head that is so alien and avante garde that I fail to understand how its happening. The more I try to break down whats happening the more the music starts to disappear. I have to kinda not care and not judge the composition for it to continue happening. Weird how that works. I'm also very slow in tableture programs like guitar pro so that doesn't help. Yeah, I'd love links to that. I Have had my 8 string a couple years and really all I do with it is try and play meshuggah songs and cover my favorite snippets in Audacity. I'm still learning how to record, shape tones on my amp and edit within DAW. I struggle with Eq'ing with balance. I also just started to understand the anatomic mechanics of how to scream/growl maybe a year and a half ago so I try to mix my vocals with my guitar playing and its a damn mess XD. That as far as I have gotten with playing and producing
  5. @SoonHei Agreed! Just looking to hear users examples of doing this. Do you have any you'd like to share?
  6. I've been experimenting with Metocin(4-HO-MET) in increasing doses over the past couple months. First 1 mg for threshold effects/allergy test. 3 mg for experimenting with microdosing potential. I find metocin to be one of the best psychs I have come across in terms of microdosing. It's noticeable at very small amounts and gives me a very obvious increase in mind-body connection/ proprioception and energy. It's absolutely fantastic for yoga. From my experience I recommend no other psychedlic for microdoing above metocin. Simply fan fucking tastic. Dosing is a bitch with powder and scale so you must dose volumetricly. 10 Mg syringe with alcohol and your desired ratio for microdose. Anyway, after a few microdoses I tried 10mg outside at a music festival and got slight but shortlived visuals and all the things that come along with microdoses as well. Very manageable. The most recent experience involved 15 with a bump of psilocybin to get my off the ground in terms of headspace which I am told Metocin can lack. Alot of reports of a "hollow" experience. Involving no heart or spiritual influence. I found with a small amount of psilocybin that there was enough there to explore some interesting areas. My experience lasted about 4 hours and I was able to notice things that would normally be "sub-perceptual" influences to my flow of thought. For example.. I noticed how often I am grabbing at my gentials. Scratching, cupping, tugging at, and just generally encapsulating the intirety of my junk with a semi-clenched fist. I noticed a mental tug as if there was some even more unconsious reasoning why I might be doing this. I haven't gone to deeply on this topic on my own or even with others, but I've seen enough people bring this up to know I'm not alone. Heck you might be grabbing your giblets as I speak while you read this. If my talking about the subject hasn't already sort of influenced you to do it sub-consciously. Mind you this is not a sexual thing I feel in terms of arrousal. My penis stays fairly flacid while doing all this. I feel an underlying sense of security though when doing this so that might be a thing for me to explore next time I encounter this topic in my next experience I noticed also my minds underlying aversion to putting my finger near or around my mouth after said touching. Usually being cautious and using my knuckles or the back of my hand to satisfy any itch or task that involved the placement of my hand on my face. Clearly there is some processes with regard to hygiene that my mind trys to uphold as to not risk getting sick or whatever. This is most likely also a relation to touching of my ass and or armpits as well. Within these urges and aversions I noticed that all these processes exist simultaneously and that my body is a sort of unconscious Survival mode at all waking moments. That alot of my actions and choices are simply a consciousness trapped in a spectrum of extremes simply trying to find solace and consistency. A perpetual balancing act that keeps my consciousness intact. The themes in Leo's video series on Survival really started becoming a real force I can feel acting on me. The videos made perfect sense when I watched them but implications of them became so intrinsically real. I see now that I have to dedicate lots of time to understanding myself and elucidating all the facets of my daily habits and choices with regard to this topic and its relationship with motivated fear and love. The last thing I became curious about was my reactions to people when I'm not alone. How my mind allows itself to function and orient itself when In the presence of others. The themes of survival and authoirty began to feel very relevant here. I usually try to be alone when tripping as it feels most conducive to achieving understanding but I still had an urge to mimick the experience of being around alot of people and observing how my and other peoples thoughts are influenced by each other. I'm a fan of stand-up comedy becase I find the social dynamic between crowd and performer very interesting. There are so many things going on in these interactions so I decided to explore that by turning on Kill Tony, which is live podcast taped in the Comedy Store, a comedy club in Hollywood, CA. It involves bringing up novice comics up on stage to preform for 1 minute (which usually is a mess) and the judges/comics sort of pick apart their set and proceed to make jokes about the novice. It can be brutal. It can be a very emotional experience as your mind is being jerked around not knowing whether to feel empathetic for the novice or whether to laugh at the judges remarks which can be truly funny at times. There's a battle of authority going on. Your mind begins to reacto to and ask all these questions as volleys are being thrown back and fourth. "Oh, that was harsh, did he go too far?" "Did the crowd really not get that joke?" "is this material too taboo to speak about?" "Should I not be laughing at this?" "HA! That joke is only possible to understand with knowledge of X and Y. That was really clever" "Wow, that's embarrassing. I would have walked off the stage after that remark. How is he able to take that critisicm" There's so many ideas worth focusing on and trying to pick apart when watching these reactions in its explosive high energy environment. Paying attention to your reactions and how a simple slew of words can send you howling and bent over wheezing. Its just like BAM! It hits you and the combination of your expectations of whats going to be said and your past knowledge sends you into an uncontrollable fit. I felt myself being tugged around like a ragdoll and loved being able to notice my reactions more carefully and trying to pick them apart. I know many might have seen this activity of watching standup as indulgent and a waste of time but I find low doses such as this to be valuable in practicing your daily habits and being able to consciously break them apart step by step with feedback while doing said thing. I leave full on contemplation to higher doses where tasks start to become impossible. At that point it seems trying to uphold a task is really not of value anymore. Thats it. Hope you enjoyed the read and that I have given you something to ponder that you hadn't already thought of yourself. Any feedback or questions is encouraged and appreciated!
  7. @Strangeloop Let me clarify. So for example you see a large platform in your dream. Within that platform there are several sub-sections of the platform that rise and fall. Once you awaken from your nights slumber you go and you take the piece of technology or artwork you see and you make it exist in your waking actuality via creation. You build something you have experienced in dream that you didnt originally create but just showed up in the dream. I'm not referring to like premonitions of events that happen. For ex. in your dream your cousin dies by gunshot wound and then 2 months later it happens. @ivankiss Do you ever do it via your music? Which is really awesome by the way. I have over the past few years have increasingly become a bigger fan of more instrumentally focused artists (Pelican, Animals as leaders, CHON, Hiromi Uehara, Tigran Hamasyan, Mahavishnu Orchestra, Nova Collective, Secret Chiefs 3). Is this your website ??? https://www.studioivankiss.com/new-page-2 Would make sense as it's inline with bringing physical forms into reality. \m/ Meshuggah is right my friend. @JustThinkingAloud Sounds right to me!
  8. YES!!!! Nice work and thank you.
  9. Have you every had a dreams.... that um.. that you had.... Where you were able to manifest an original Idea into something tangible? For example an invention or piece of art? If so what was it and does it have significance in your daily life? Do you have techniques for recalling these ideas and trying to implement them? Tell us your stories.
  10. I started painting this month. Here is some experimenting i've done with different styles. Enjoy. I
  11. I love when these come up. Remember the one Leo closed for discussion after a guy said Leo came on to him and said something along the lines of "Once your enlightened there is no straight or gay". Gave me a real hoot. Keep em comin.
  12. @modmyth (Offtopic: I just browsed the "share your art" thread and enjoyed your eh "thing" hehe. I've been debating getting a drawing tablet recently to start playing with the digital side of art. I too have mostly dabbled in more traditional mediums. I get really interested in this topic. The managing of our different selves and all the meta-processes of how we employ them. Its so variable from one person to the next. It seems like a conversation topic that's rarely discussed. It's just one of those topics that if questioned too much has the potential to threaten commonly adhered to social and power structures. Its kinda obvious why its not talked about once you think about it. I'm very conflicted on the subject of compartmentalizing myself or trying to form a fairly solid single identity that can appropriately interact with most of other lifeforms.