• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by modmyth

  1. @Leo Gura I don't really have too much to say about the video right now other than that I that you did a great job of integrating a lot of these ideas and frameworks together, interpreting them, and then presenting it to your audience in a very conscientious and thorough way. In particular, I think the linking of the progressions between phases of development was well done; you very much get a sense of focused clarity and of a path to take (that can actually be taken). People will catch up more to your way of handling these ideas with time.
  2. Is there a special woman you'd like to grind on in public?
  3. @mmKay Well, I've seen some guys that were all over each other at the annual Pride.... Lots of people have that resentment or hold onto that unempathy; it's like people are talking about a different species sometimes, haha. Of course, you don't have to do anything, as in be understanding or empathetic; I wouldn't say that it's owed. But it's hard to actually understand anyone when you hold onto your own perspective so tightly, or you see it first as an issue of their relative problems vs. mine and whether their feelings/ perspective is justified in comparison. People are people are people though. People generally have problems, though the perspective of what a bad problem is in one's lived in experienced varies widely. Rape is not just an issue with conventionally attractive people though.
  4. So, I deleted the last two with the same title name. I contemplated whether I should even bother continuing to do this at all, but it still might be of use. I need to lay a few strict ground rules, as in, they're not optional. 1) No ranting or perpetuating my own anger. As far as I know, I have no hidden rage locked away, so it is actually self-indulgent at this point and perpetuates it pointlessly for the most part. Surely whatever shock there has been has fully worn off because enough time has passed. 2) Limit any self-talk/ narrative/ rhetoric except that which is orientated in the most positive, direct way (which sometimes is a very negative expression, but I think I have a better grip on this now) To continue to take the most direct route possible when sorting out whatever needs to be sorted out. 3) To not allow fear or self-consciousness (or at least, to minimize it whenever possible) to dictate the choices I make in terms of what I do or don't say about myself, to just consider if it's for my own greater good. 4) To practice and internalize ruthless self-preservation properly (especially at the level of direct identification with myself in relation to others), so I don't need to compensate for it in external behaviors. Honestly, the more calculating and less unnecessarily emotional I guess (unnecessary being the keyword), the more cleanly this gets resolved and sorted out all around. etc. While I often prefer to have done this all in private (and to have simply pressed the delete aspect of every aspect of my issues with love and a specific connection which I have written about, which frankly, I have gotten overly attached to), my energy expression and my momentary goals in life have changed pretty drastically. The move back towards insularity doesn't really work in the long run. It's like Pandora's Box; I've broken too much open inside myself to go back to however I functioned before and for it to really make much sense, though there is the tendency to readopt and regress towards old habits.
  5. I know how to get "normos" on my side. And perhaps the "non normos" too. I do not intrinsically divide the world like this both ideologically and in practice. I follow the instinct for how much I can say and share with people, but this has tended towards conservatism and paranoia IRL. In the backstory of life, it is inevitably tied to the survivalist instinct. But that too must go now. Just generally, you might be surprised by how much one could make into orthodoxy within a relatively short period of time, but then, I guess this is my game. (You can't do much that lasts if you're not grounded though.) I've probably mentioned this somewhere: this is a long game of strategy, it always has been. A great deal has been sorted out years ago. Major details get sorted out in incrementally small amounts. I'm pretty sure I've said this: it's the same damn game every time, but the rules change slightly. People never change as much as I'd hope in my absence, but they change very quickly once I'm here and enough shit is sorted out. The long game = I plan 10-20 or even 40 years in advance. Have I mentioned that there is a point at which "seeing the future" and "planning for the future", it's one and the same thing? As long as I'm alive, it's the same thing.
  6. There is mostly for when I'm feeling like doing a feels dump, mostly I've been keeping in either private or offline.
  7. "SELF CENSORSHIP"/ IMAGE CRAFTING: I'm going over some of my journals and deleting some of what I've written, perhaps quite a bit of it. For example, SHOUT! I'm just closing entirely. I need to streamline my way of writing, thinking about, and presenting myself. Some of this stuff has no place in public and in the future, and goes against my own general agenda. It needs more metamethod/ attention to framing as I am now for it to really be of use to anyone unless it's just meant to be a gallery for curiosity and potential voyeurism, at most. It was mainly for myself, anyway. Not feeling the need to talk about myself as I have in the past, that's a positive. I suppose there are things about me that no one really needs to know. Like the past life stuff. I know that's for me, but what is the point of it, really? I don't need to actually comb through it in public to integrate whatever that is left that could use integrating. That business mostly got sorted out a handful of years ago, but to make sense of it and to lay whatever residual memory and way of framing it to rest (which involves mostly subverting the way I treated these things before). Drawing it out into the long form by writing about it is a choice. There are a number of "problematic" things I need to reframe as well, my tendency is generally towards presenting certain issues bluntly. Duly noting where this doesn't serve.
  8. @soos_mite_ah You look beautiful and so does your hair and makeup. And I feel like this is such a "woman" compliment, but I also really like your eyebrows, haha.
  9. I have asked myself a million times, including everyday, what my love is worth and to whom. Over and over and over again, a million different ways. Insert the terms, qualities, and conditions. At some point you just have to fucking stop with that shit.
  10. The dawn comes again and breaks and dissolves everything in its path, including whatever's left of me from the earlier hours. I have too many feelings and sensations to sleep yet again. It's long stopped hurting for the most part. You let it happen and move through you or maybe you don't and you fight for your dear life instead. I find myself recalling what that feels like: like an instinctive reflex and not much else most of the time. I feel like a phoenix, though a bit of a tired one.
  11. One does not simply forget the face of the primal masculine, in all its faces.
  12. Man. You say you are not beautiful because of who you are, and rather what you do and what role or function you serve, because that's how the world sees you. You know it's not true though, so the heart rejects it on some deep level. Surely you know? Anyway, it's just been a bit covered up, that's all. You are breathtaking, haven't I said that this is my secret? That I have to act as if you're not? What are you going to do when you find me looking at you the way you would want to look at me, in a more innocent life time, for absolutely no fucking reason at all? But... just because? Do you think I only love what I am told I am supposed to love or what comes easily? (Yes, I love that too. I absolutely do.) Here I feel some remaining pretense to pretend that I don't look at you or want to, the way you want to look at me? If we didn't have to play games of pretense and emotional distance and aloofness? Good lord. I am so shitty at playing coy anyway, as in aloof. I hope you know how to see through the act. I'm not cut out for much other than showing my hand over and over again. Free me from all of this. Life should have made more of a cynic of me, I suck at this too. It just doesn't stick deeply. It does not taste like the truth. Or like anything worth living for. Do I have to keep making excuses for love in all its possible and many and free manifestations? Well, we are all a bit childish in some aspects of love. In others, brutal and fierce. And all these aspects married and bleeding into each other, forever and ever. But it's the innocence that brutally murders me the hardest. It's always been so.
  13. Rape and molestation was not enough to make me stop seeing the truth inside. Nor did it really even make me bitter against men, not even for a moment. Angry at circumstance, being lied to, and specifically who hurt me, of course. I find myself stuck with these heavy words that have stopped meaning much to me, except they would get stuck in my throat and fingertips at the thought of what they must mean, what they were supposed to mean. But didn't. I did not have to try to not be bitter; I could not find it within myself. I also did not verge towards bitterness in my choices. But it could not change my mind. Perhaps I'm not capable of it anyway. Life... It could not break my spirit. Not really. And I don't know why. I'm grateful. Maybe because I feel love just because. I have seen: I cannot be deprived.
  14. My dear, would you be surprised to know that my Song of Songs is... a man? Don't you know that I loved you first, before you became anything or even felt the tinge and bloom of desire? When you looked at the world through fresh eyes, whether clear or hazy? (And your eyes, they were always in my heart, and so I see and feel through them.) You are... you were perfect. You are incorruptible.
  15. LIKE THE DAWN: I know that I will never touch you. I suppose that I am coming to terms. Imagination reaches beyond the impossible into periphery and back into reality again. I already tasted it: the feeling, the smell of you, the meaning I affixed to it, the way the light hits your skin, your movements slowing down as if everything is all out of time. I have borne witness to the most impossibly present “you” that I have ever seen. Embodiment. But my fingers have nothing to touch but shadows. These are all that remain of my dreams, hopes, and desires as I have known them to be. Why is it then, that I can create the memory and experience of you through these finger tips? If it is just an idea and a hallucination, then why have I already lived it? Why have I felt compelled to live it again, over and over? Do you know that I don't have to see the images through the senses to live it? To live in your truth? Why do I reach for myself through you? When it stops being a desperate desire, as I stop craving and seeking oblivion first and then from it to reach into clarity: I just ...stop. You were with me all along. In desire, I weave you around me like thoughts spinning cobwebs around me like a silk that soothes my skin, like clothes to wear. In your thoughts, architectures of feeling. And in feeling, I've walked through a million doors, have seen, have lived a million sights with you. I taste you, your will; we bleed together. Love, there is blood on your tongue and an open door dances in you: heart and mind. Where do your words come from? What moves your soul? Why is it strung together like strings of honey and music, gliding through my mind in flow? Spill to me your secrets. I will trace them back to the roots. I will taste you at your inception point. You taste of possibilities and dreams and desires still, like thousands and thousands of doors. Your soul, a song, a melody. A song of songs. And in my mind's eye, to travel through you; you split open like the green earth. Fertile with possibilities. Your love: it is a question mark. So tell me. What is the sound and the visceral feeling of words being pulled out like memories once-and-always made real? Why do you pull me back into the dreaming and the real? Do you... can you... If I stop reaching for the something more, will you be realized? Will you realize me, realizing you? Will you... Maybe one day I will wake up, and you will be here in the flesh, as if you have never left. As if leaving has no meaning. And you smell like the dawn; you always do. You smile and say it's me, that I'm poetry. I never have anything to say or do then, but to take in your words. Body and soul. We are bound together. Don't you know the truth?
  16. I keep making separate journals, even though this is also a sort of "coming out". I keep feeling like I won't be able to keep track of my thoughts/ practice in a cohesive way unless I keep splintering off, because I have a lot to say. 1) consolidating my sexual identity in a public way, because there's a gap between my "true identity" and expression of it still (social conditioning, what's left of personal limiting thoughts and inhibitions, etc.) All these divisions and barriers need to come down. I feel the need to take this idea of transparency to its logical extreme, and because I feel like it's essential for my own mental, emotional health at this point; I still feel far too constricted; I hate it. In general, I don't really believe in the need for such a thing as private thoughts, by that I mean thoughts or feelings that you HAVE to keep private. It's kind of a societal and personal illness. Not saying that you should want to do what I do exactly... 2) (Re)cultivating my own sensual/ sexual sense, or simply finding expression for what is already naturally and innately well developed in me. Doing this in an introspective and inclusive way, since I'm still a bit all over the place in my thought and expression relating to this. Creating my own erotic language (both in the descriptive and the creative sense), new ways of talking and thinking about this, if you want to call it that. Bringing together the intellectual/ anayltical, the creative (in my case, in prose/ poetry form, and possibly my visual art stuff too), the personal/introspective, the practical aspects of sexual/sensual development... all into one place. This is a bit of a project on its own, no? 3) "practical aspects", SEX MAGICK/ TRANSMUTATION: Exploration into the sexual energetics aspects of it, for knowledge and PSA reasons (even if it's really just consolidation and integration of my total body of knowledge/ experience... from what is technically multiple lifetimes). 4) This is somewhere where I'll stop feeling the need and inclination to give TMI trigger warnings, because I do in my original journal (Confessionals: Coming Out). And I have written about it, but I'm never quite as direct (which may or may not be explicit) as I want to be. (Sometimes I want to tease/ dance around the truth, and sometimes I really don't. If there's no choice to it, if it's because I feel like I still need to be proper in some way by maintaining some sense of withholding in this way (??), well then that just ruins the spirit of it, doesn't it?) TMI instances of my own sexual thoughts, fantasies/ inclinations, and practices in explicit and possibly extremely self indulgent detail. Because, direct experience, honesty, transparency, aesthetics, etc. In the end, people have the opportunity get to know me in a sexual/ intimate way possibly better than they know 1) themselves 2) whoever they are with intimately 5) Sexual/Sensual Aesthetics: Where is it in this world,as you look around it see it? The spirit and the soul of it? (IMO it's lacking a certain something something.) ***The phrase ars erotica comes from Foucault. I appreciate the sentiment and inspiration behind it, more than how he actually understands it and explains it (I may repost his ideas here later, for reference).
  17. @Leo Gura Yea, I remember reading that detail too, now that you mention it. It would be interesting to see a compilation of all the artwork that beat Hitler's and to judge it through modern eyes. (>>> and therefore WWII as we know it happened<<<)
  18. The skill is undeniable, I always found it a bit strange people said "he couldn't paint", and then I actually saw his paintings. By whose standards, exactly? There is also really sound architectural draftsmanship going on there. I'm sure if he wanted to be an architect instead, maybe we wouldn't even be having these discussions about him, heh. From what I remember, I don't think he had the right aesthetic for the time period and what art schools were looking for then. I also don't think he was super interested or specialized in painting people either, which was probably what they were looking for, but you need training (probably in something like the French academic style) to be extremely skilled at it. Everyone does. No one is magically skilled at anatomic realism without practice and the right background knowledge.
  19. @Tim R They're not technically shitty at all, they're just kind of boring and super kitsch, kind of like every single Thomas Kinkade painting used for gift cards. I understand that what Hitler was creating was not what art schools were interested in at the time. I watched a documentary called "The Architecture of Doom" for a uni class years ago; there are a number of artists that Hitler liked that I also liked. But then he loved "pure" art that reflected his ideals of beauty and health, and didn't like all that other generate avant-garde art that was supposedly all made by Jewish people, Soviets, etc. I also liked a lot of the "degenerate art" he burned. My favourite artist that he liked that I also like was Bocklin, who I learned about before I learned that Hitler liked him too: With this famous painting being in the bunker where he shot himself: Also one of my favourites, and also apparently in Germany anywhere in homes around the turn of the 19th-20th century. ****art history lesson*****
  20. So... my dear, without me asking anything at all from you, what do you need/ want from me? (It's fine, you don't have to even answer. I know. I've always known from the first moment I remembered you.)
  21. SPRING 2019: It's been two years. I am recalling suddenly that before I had put this all out of my mind, that originally I anticipated that it would be at least one year, probably at least two before I would want to have even tangential contact with you in psychic/ psychoemotional way. I never wanted him to deal with the fallout of what would inevitably happen after that time period, nor did I think he was ready anyway. I considered his wellbeing. Better to be cut off from me just in case, going by my intuition. I did anticipate that you would come back and that I would have need of you in the future. That we would have some sort of work to do together. I suppose you are the person who ended up knowing the most details about what it was like (and by extension what it felt like for me to die not through direct empathy, but through). Hey, I had the understanding that you crashed with me, but I might have completely fell off the rail at that point. I thought I heard your voice run bone dry, and I also considered the degree to which it was completely and all me, myself and I. I stopped both taking it all seriously and all for granted though. My morning star. A small but significant symbol of hope from that time period, the only one then. What a barren reality in my circumstances. The end of a life. I guess I felt like I needed someone/ something to hold onto, that I couldn't help myself. (He wrote my story down from that time period, in quite accurate detail too. There was no surprise there.) I expected nothing. I stopped believing. Well, thank you. This means something now still, especially as I open myself more to trusting again. (And in the material world, I see your signs again.) IRL, I have a place for you, soul and mind, however this works now. And if it's not in the works, as I have little mind to look for specific molds for specific people except how they manifest tangibly in my IRL reality at this point relevantly as however I can create and attract it into being, that's fine, as I will not touch this too directly and with any sort of loaded emotional attachment/ expectation especially for what has been in my past (in no way will I involve myself with anyone as I attempted to do before; it is not the correct order of things anyway). You've had your idealism completely decimated. So have I. We can work together and understand each other properly now, I think. And I have the need of your mind; it's a fine one. So no longer are you walking in one direction and I am walking towards you in the opposite direction, our paths fairly askew and misaligned. So I anticipated it almost exactly 2 years ago. I very much still can make it "worth it" for you. ... It's me that has needed the convincing, probably not you. In the relative, personal sense. Not in the absolute sense. ........
  22. ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF INTERDEPENDENCE (/ framing things from the outset as mutually beneficial outcomes): I don't know quite how to say this, though I have mentioned this before. I feel like I have been showing a lot of my worst sides (as well as better sides, though pride makes me hyperaware of the former), but that I still have so much to offer still. But I will put all of my intention and actions where my words are. When I taught (as this is my best example), I served who I taught. I considered my duty to do this, I got a great deal from it but it was also very draining at times. But all things that are worthwhile doing, they are some times. And yes, I obviously expect a great deal more from adults than children, but then I look around the issues we have sometimes, and I look at my own issues and expectations as they've been, and I wonder the degree that I've been expecting too much of both myself and others in an overly harsh way that ends up being impractical. No one makes the cut when you are looking for flaws in everyone and also yourself, especially if your underlying motive actually ends up being to keep people at a distance. That is not how I intend to treat people (at least, going forward, I plan to continue to change my stance in this way here circumstantially). You are where you are. Just as with the kids I taught, they are where they are. I didn't bring excessive, pointlessly impractical judgement to my practice there, and when I did, I saw that it was my duty to get over with it in order to better be able to function in reality for a given purpose/ goal. Anyway, in that role, you serve even if you are also leadership and there is inevitable selfishness involved. Interests become directly shared. And to go back to this same point over and over again: without integrity, openness, honesty, mutual accountability and responsibility, there isn't much of anything. It would be nice to serve a small group of people more unconditionally than everyone else, even as this ultimately may also involve "game playing"/ "ego" stuff. Yea, it's alright. It need not be an obstacle (which goes back to the principle of interdependence/ inclusiveness.) May we play "conscious games" together then, in our shared and in all of our best interests, and may this be framed properly as such from the outset. It will stick one way or another. I suppose the limiting factor is ultimately me. I have inevitably have limits on wasting my time and energy, but why bother getting overly attached to people who walk away or who do not and cannot do what is in my best interest, if I never put that expectation excessively on them in the first place? And why bother excessively in that way in the first place? What unaccounted for need or desire is now coming into play, and where did it come from, and why did I not deal with it properly before? And also, what has being overly tight-fisted ever done for anyone except make the hand cramp up in pain, numbness, and eventual immobility? Why yell at your own damn hand for doing what it did? I am becoming more open to trusting despite the past; I feel this deeply at the heart level, despite whatever pain there is there. There may be no good reason to trust based on the past, but there is always a reason not to trust. To not trust in spite of or because of someone or something else, that's to shoot yourself in the foot, as it is to have relationships but to experience no meaningful, lasting value in them. As it is to remain in a state of half-consumption, half-feeling and half-disconnection, and half-trust. Maybe this is the most obvious statement of the century. (Coming from the queen of being one foot in and out the door mostly ALL the time, and when I felt like I wasn't in my life before? I sure fucked that one up, didn't I? Haha.)
  23. STUPID QUESTIONS I COULDN'T HELP BUT PURSUE: I have paid the most astronomical price for these questions, personally speaking, as it was a couple years ago. 1) How well does anyone understand me? Or want to? (And all the stupid tests I felt the need to do in the past.) 2) How much would you give up for me, now and continuing into the future? (And drawing both intuitions and making reasonable assumptions based on what presents itself in reality.) Which amounts to, what am I worth to you? And why? 2) How well do I understand myself? How well do I want to? (Practically speaking, to get on with my life, I feel like I've learned way too much at times, in both scope and nuance/ detail.) Didn't I say somewhere: play stupid games, win stupid prizes? Etc.
  24. INTERDEPENDENCE + THE SPIRIT OF SCIENCE + FINESSE JUDGEMENT: All things, positive values and ethics, and desired outcomes, are in non-contradiction and interdependence with each other. And so, we must rewrite the rules of psyche accordingly in order to get the best possible results in tangible reality and in our subjective, personal, and collective experience. (This is the name of the game in SO many of our conflicts with ourselves and others, that we might even say that this is at the root of it all as we know it.) I was having this conversation with my partner a couple days ago, when he asked me how scientifically, materialistically minded people should deal with this conflict of the limits of the scientific method/ scientific thinking. And I said.. you MUST frame intuition as being in intrinsic non conflict with the scientific method and other "rational" means from the outset in order to have it so that you can tap into higher intuition, particularly if you wish to tap into it in "normal consciousness" which is just regular, waking consciousness, whatever that is to you, which is something that doesn't even necessarily register as being an usually altered state (say you might just be higher energy than normal). The only reason why you need to resort to such states in a more absolute sense is because the regular rules of consciousness do not permit access (although perhaps the next problem you might have after this is that you may not have developed the skill of appropriate judgement and psychoemotional navigation in a state of much greater openness). You must be able to do this in order to have a fuller command and ability to work with intuition, as this should be the end goal IMO. Intuition must be understood (/reframed) as being TRUTH. The more accurate and expansive your perception is, the more true intuition (which ultimately, should just be defined as intuition, period) has increasingly limited room for deviation. It's incredibly precise. The instinct and judgement must be honed and cultivated in good spirit. That most often requires true commitment over just the idea of commitment as it stands. Recognize for example, when you are using the scientific method to explain or justify things to other people because it is necessary, but that this is NOT where the information and understanding of legible knowledge and the judgement to use it; it's not where it comes from. That this is true by structure, that generally it is not possible. Generally, if you follow the rules precisely, what you can accomplish is tiny piecework at most, and indeed this does have its place. But it also lends directly to bureaucracy (and also, culture "stability" and stagnation as we know it, for better and for worse, but this too can change). And so here in this way, your working psychology changes. Having a vision beforehand is also not conducive to the spirit of empirical science as we know it, but considered that this system has only really been operational for about 200 years or so. We got quite a bit done before that. Also, if you think intuition is wishy-washy and fickle stuff in its core nature? Well.... this perspective does not serve. I reminded him of a piece of common knowledge that was relevant here: the number of discoveries and understandings coming directly from dream states or sometimes altered states of consciousness. To come in command of the "powers of creation" in "normal consciousness" you must get psyche and the relationships between beliefs and habits right. A great deal must be cleared out too by default. But is not simply enough to empty out unless you are receiving intuition (which comes with "psychic/ psychoemotional" infrastructure from another source). That means that someone else probably did the heavy lifting for you (and while it might not have been experienced as difficult and done in a state of psychoemotional resistance, but conscious synthesis and intention often does comes from somewhere. I have seen a great deal here, both in the past and future.) Anyway, a well known example of having the right openness and aptitude/drive from the outset plus adapting psyche perpetually for a specific task is Tesla, who I have mentioned before very briefly in this general context (probably in my first METACOG journal). You are going to be very weird by any normal, modern standard at the levels of deeper psychoemotional infrastructure, for whatever that is worth, though you can easily enough cover it up with something else manage to change this, I think, if you can manage to change your deep wiring as well. Because that's not easy. (Also, I told him to consider the amount of intuition integrated with the search for truth/ knowledge in the early days of human science when it was merged with philosophy, as these were not originally identified as separate drives at all. What do you think the understanding/ concept/ belief in the Logos is and why was it also a religious/ spiritual concept? Here is an example of "rules of psyche" that allowed more freedom with the means of legible reasoning and justification in combination with the freer use of intuition, and still, a great deal of technology was brought into this world from it. These were the days when philosophy was not at all separate from science, and before 19th century, industrial, often "Victorian", empirical- materialist science and all its direct successors, I have mentioned that science WAS natural philosophy. And as we return towards a more holistic and merged approached in all of our fields of knowledge and art, and let's just say, all conscious human endeavors as it should be aimed towards all aspects of human living; what we will return to in perspective and approach will share much in common with the early days. I told him to consider what it might have been like to be someone like Aristotle, and what it would have been like to pull out a system of classification (which was the precursor to a great deal of scientific classification and organization of scientific thought, including categorizing all animals according to species, genus, etc.) from almost nothing, if you consider his surroundings. So we must too return to this degree and scale of creativity and intuition, as we call it now, and it will at least in theory give us the space and integration to achieve things in much greater scope. Then we may rely retrospectively on the systems given to us already, while we have also given ourselves the freedom to adapt this method, other methods, and the metamethods or CONTEXT surrounding these methods in an appropriate way. (And in this way, we are exercising the virtue of adaptability and flexibility in the face of reality, openminded observation in good consciousness and spirit, etc.) And we must do this... despite all the stuff we've created both in a purely conceptual way with all the things we've filled the world with. Why? Because it must be done in order to achieve the means of evolving our practice of knowledge, especially in the technology and the sciences. At least, a good handful of us must do this. Yes, perhaps we require more discipline and unity of vision than we ever have for these reasons. Even though it presents itself as an impossibly difficult task at times due to the amount of possible distractions everywhere. We fall back so easily into reiterative thought processes and approaches believing that this is all that there is, because it's what is taught to us, it's culture as we know it. We are at the moment living in a very bureaucratic society particularly at the level of autonomized systems ("the information/ knowledge economy) that have been allowed to govern our lives, and it seems like there is a great deal of paranoia about this. It is understandable, but it is not necessary. It simply that a more intelligent approach that takes more into account properly is needed. The autonomization is not the issue, but the seemingly impossible number of things for one human or even a small group of humans to keep track of properly at the level of minutiae detail. This too must be gotten a handle over one way or another, and it will. Also, a note about receiving inspiration, intuitive knowledge, and visions: people may be capable of receiving inspiration and even working with it, but they do not always understand where it is coming from. Even more rarely IMO is even having extensive estimates and knowledge into the WHYS of it, with the WHYS not going that deep, and keeping tabs on this process in a more expansive, visionary sense. Everything that I have seen is rather limited, from my perspective, and I recall the number of times that I myself have felt full of gaps and holes in this way, and thought: this process must be accounted for properly one way or another. And rather than just to take my word on it, for everything that is here, you yourself may just keep asking WHY, WHY, WHY, and see how much questioning a structure and the understanding of it can hold up to, and how your own understanding may transform and expand in the process of looping feedback with yourself. I told my partner too, we should have a sort of "science of intuition" as well to develop a better social system of checks and balances here. We used to have something to this effect in the past, but it was... much more limited. The people who could best use it mostly already had the goods and this was not considered to be something that could be shared properly especially via language extensively. Whatever there was got codified and we called it the more conceptual side of knowledge and judgement about knowledge ("philosophy"). But perhaps this can change once again once we involve "intuition proper" as we know it now again in this whole process. May all of the "woo" factor be taken out of it. But for very rigid scientific/ materialist types and also just generally, for all of us in the business of living, you must come to have an understanding of using the right tools for the right purpose, like finesse judgement; and not be hammering the square peg into every hole you find, you know? Any one who doesn't share your particular dogma can tell that what you're doing is causing a sort of conflict within reality (at least, at an raw, intuitive, gut level, if not consciously due to being obscured by their own myopic vision and agendas). Someone who shares your perspective or who is more reconciliatory towards it may think something like, well, they're doing their best with their understanding of reality, or something like that. And it's... sort of working. The most dogmatic will say that every square hole is actually a round one (scientific dogma, atheistic dogma, religious and spiritual dogma, it all tends to have much more in common with each other than not, structurally speaking)...)