ivankiss

You are not bigger than anything, nothing is bigger than you.

I have every right and all the reasons to be proud of myself. And I won't lie, it feels fucking good. But that's not where this ends. A wounded ego is not a joke. Yet it is more often than not met with only more ridicule and hate. The guts turn upside down and the entire nervous system gets fucked. Healing is long and painful. But after standing back up on your feet, reclaiming your power and celebrating your victory... You must find space for forgiveness, humility, compassion... That is what brings you back to the center of your being.

From. Fucking. Nothing.

A little birdie just landed on my shoulder and told me that I'm about to receive a giant gift by the end of this week. Must humble myself a bit and stay in an open, receptive state and not fuck this up. Because it's truly a blessing.

For my grand finale, as a symbol of my victory, I am planning a short but glorious little concert, in the heart of Amsterdam, more precisely in Rijksmuseum. Don't worry, it will be documented. But shhh. This is our little secret. You know nothing.

Btw, I am simultaneously working on two, not one, but two breath takingly beautiful original pieces. While also learning Lacrimosa by Mozart. I'll throw you a short audio soon. I promise.

Polish friend insists on me coming back to the hostel. Says the Slovenian girl was asking about me, wants to see me. But I feel like it's more about him. Italian girl texted, we both couldn't make it yesterday, but it's all nice and cool. We will meet at some point for sure. If nothing else, I at least want to collaborate with her professionally. She's a great photographer. Like, really great. Kind of hit the pause on our conversation with my ex yesterday. I don't want this to become a standard now. We can't be in touch all the time. It would not have a positive affect on me. It would make me too soft. And that's just to name a few that are pulling on my strings right now. But don't worry, I'm not too bothered. I am at peace, I am in love. I am on point.

Today I was reminded what bliss tasted like. It's delicious as fuck.

I hope you're all enjoying the show. Because you could not handle actuality. That is why I packed this so carefully and so cleverly, in such a way that it reveals to you what a judgmental narrow minded idiot you are, gradually, over time, instead of dropping it on you all at once. You simply could not take it. That's right. I care not only for my personal success and evolution, but for your awakening as well. No matter how illusory or paradoxical that may be. It's far more twisted than you think.

Yesss, the birds are chirping, pleasant breeze, no noisy traffic and stupid tourists... Just lovely.

And I made it. I'm on the country side. There's only greenery around me. Super kind staff too. Very cheap. Have a real good feel about my stay here! It's too beautiful and too peaceful!

Too! Much! Power!

It's also scary how timeless and free I feel right now.

I got my holiday allowance. Felt like giving back a bit. And I know she's not earning much. But yeah. Don't judge. I'm going kind of retarded today. I'm aware.

She's on the beach. I bought her ice cream an aperol spitz. Her favorite. How, you ask? She's still uses the same wise account. Wired her 20 bucks. Of course she melted.