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About Adilbek

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  1. If God is the totality of existence, ethics should be wrong. So lying is just as good as telling the truth. Do you agree? But why do I still think that lying is bad?
  2. Love your posts man. I do feel like shit is just non-linear. You want it for free? You will get it for free, sooner or later. You want to work by the sweat of thy brow? You'll get it. Now that I think about it, things come so easy to me in life, but I just need to want it and aim high Thanks again
  3. I think that we as people are deeply confused, bathing in this soup of ideas, concepts and meanings that we cannot ground ourselves in. Whenever we do, we get disappointed as it falls apart. So some of us take it in their hands to protect their illusion, desperately, out of bitterness and frustration. But as Leo says, you cannot ground yourself in anything, but Teotl. So I think that maybe these massacres is just reality trying to wake itself up.
  4. I just did self-inquiry practice, and my heartbeat just increased so much, similar to my low doses on 5meo. It followed by me calling out myself on being that "I", which was uncomfortable. I also had this flush of tingling sensation over my body. Is this going in the right direction?
  5. I have a sort of crazy story for LOA, I am almost convinced it works. I visualized working for a big 3 company. I did a matra - just a list of 20 affirmations on how I get the job and work there. I contact a friend of a friend who works there, and in a couple of days he offers me an internship for about a month. This shit is crazy
  6. If God is omnipotent, can it choose to not exist, or is it trapped in existence? Is playing in duality God's second best? Would it much rather have "real friends" if it could? How does God exercise will in non-duality if it lacks agency in the non-dual state? When or how did it make a decision to play in non-duality? Was it a decision?
  7. Thank you for the book, I downloaded it into my kindle
  8. Thank you @Arthur for this bit of inspiration
  9. this is poetic Good luck, whatever it means in this context. Looking forward to hearing from you
  10. First of all, it's really cool to have you respond to my post. Thank you for all the great stuff you do. Second of all, I am scared shitless. I'll just go watch the Matrix on netflix as a second-best alternative to enlightenment )
  11. Thank you for encouragement I'll take it to heart
  12. I've been on nofap for almost 3 years with varying success. Hello All, nice to find a nofap thread on this forum ))
  13. Mine is more like being mindfucked by the reality of the present moment. Like I am just coasting through life, and in that brief moment I feel like I am actually THE doer in my life, whereas the rest of the time I feel like a spectator at the back seat of an empty movie theater. This feeling can be triggered by me repeatedly saying to myself "this is happening right now". And I wake from this dream for a second. This often happens if I do something active, like playing sports.
  14. Thank you @Arthur and @outlandish for your encouragement! I will muster up the courage and proceed. It definitely get scary now that I need to do serious dosages It's good to hear that screaming and breaking stuff around the house is rare, hope to have a peaceful breakthrough) Ok, will get back to you