Iiris

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About Iiris

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  • Birthday 07/24/2001

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    Finland
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    Female

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  1. Possibly the most beautiful song I've heard No exaggeration 1 Chapter of Einstein book yesterday ✅ There were less videos from that psychology guy than I expected, I'm not going to watch one every day. I'm going to watch one when I have a day off from work, for now. I'm going to also copy his notes somewhere. I'm just going to leave this post here because the song above is toogood. And I'm a bit lazy
  2. Yoga ✅ 1h Meditation ✅ 15min alone Sleep ✅ 7h and took a nap yesterday Allergies are bugging me. I didn't have any when I as younger, now they're started to occur My sister was vacuuming her room and had left her rolled mat in front of my door. I tripped on the mat and then I stepped on the edge of a record player that was laying on the floor, almost fell down the stairs after that. Now I have a bruise in the sole of my foot I can't step with it properly. The reason I tripped on the mat was because I was lost in my egoistical thoughts. Karma
  3. Another one from when I was younger Day before day before day before yesterday 30-day challenge ✅ Day before day before yesterday 30-day challenge ✅ Gandhi book ✅ Day before yesterday 30-day challenge ✅ Yesterday 1 Chapter of Einstein book ✅ Finally watched the video about the structure of reality. Now Leo quoted Einstein! What the heck. Einstein has been popping up everywhere lately. 30-day challenge is over. I did it sloppily a few times but atleast I did it every day As you can see I haven't been reading the books that much. I'll read the Einstein book more. It's fucken huge, it'll take forever. Felt a bit weird getting it from the library. My mom used to work there so most of the librarians recognize me I have three months to study psychology. I probably need to start studying already because I need to get the best grade, got the second best last time. Second best isn't enough to study psychology in a good university. There is a Youtube channel about the topics. I didn't have time to watch it much last time. I watched a few videos on 2x speed. They seemed great. I'm going to start watching one of them a day starting tomorrow. I find it way easier to study by watching videos than by reading. I just can't focus when I read. 80% of the time gets wasted in daydreaming. I like listening to people rant about things. That's why I'm here Tbh, I'm pissed off that I have to go through these high school things again. And I hate the competitiveness and that your worth is basically defined based on a random test. Such a competitive system, it's hard to not become competitive when you're taking part in it. And being stuck in a competitive mindset sucks. But this is what I have to do now.
  4. Yoga ✅ 20min Meditation ✅ 15min alone Sleep ✅ 7h and took a nap yesterday I heard a mosquito when I was meditating and I had to open my eyes and try to find it. But I didn't. I found it later and smashed it dead with a stuffed animal from my bed. Adriene has these yoga playlists for every month. Going through this June playlist right now. I'm a bit late, only halfway through I don't have attitude but I have arms, and some abs gladly
  5. No problem I don’t talk about it much to them. They both know I meditate and do stuff like that, but I don’t think they know how deep I’m into this stuff. Never mentioned Leo, my mom would think he’s a crazy cult leader My mother is a materialist. My father is probably not. He’s a very philosophical and esoteric guy. I used to talk about God and reality and enlightenment with him even before I found Leo’s content. Though he doesn’t understand the emotional and love part of this at all. It’s fun to philosophize with him sometimes. I rarely do it nowadays though Also my father’s mother was deeply into New Age kinda stuff. When I was alone with her she randomly started talking about chakras and angels and humanity’s rise into the 4th dimension and stuff like that
  6. Yoga ✅ 20min Meditation ✅ 15min alone Sleep ✅ 7h I was just thinking what kind of an absolute lunatic Leo would sound like to people in the materialist paradigm. Ranting for hours that you are love and god I'm not sure what kind of meditation I'm doing when I'm meditating alone. I'm just sitting there and trying to be aware. I think it's like a do nothing -meditation. I don't really go to any states when I meditate nowadays. When I was more serious about meditation I got into a hyperaware state a few times. But now it's just like, I'm aware, and then I'm not aware and start intense thinking, and then I become aware of my thinking for a short time, and then I start thinking without awareness again. If I did it a longer time I would probably go beyond that. I'm trying to meditate at least 15min everyday now. I'm not going above that yet because I don't want to get a huge backlash
  7. Yoga ✅ 20min Meditation ✅ 20min alone Sleep ❌ 7.5h Went to bed before midnight Wasn't very aware throughout the meditation, felt bad about it I've been feeling kind of lazy Don't hate them either
  8. Beautiful movies from my childhood https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIK15q7ZoY0
  9. Yoga ✅ 25min + 40min Meditation ✅ 55min guided Sleep ✅ 8h I've been planning to go on a meditation retreat. I asked one place by email if I can get my money back if they have to cancel the retreat because of the virus again. Or if I'd have to go to some online retreat instead. Which I won't do The weather is a bit cooler now and it's raining, I feel like I can finally breathe, and I actually have energy to do stuff. Felt better at work too. The headache the day before yesterday was mostly because I had to do physical work for a long time in heat, I felt like jelly the whole day This meditation gave me a new perspective I think I understood on a deeper level, I'm creating my own suffering, by resisting things. Happiness = lack of resistance = acceptance = love. Or something like that. Nothing is actually bad
  10. I appreciate music that I can feel in my heart I also appreciate melancholy music. Or a mixture of melancholy and happy. Because that's what I can feel in my heart the most Heart, and guts also I think Day before yesterday 30-day challenge ✅ 1 Chapter of Gandhi book ✅ Yesterday 30-day challenge ✅ 1 Chapter of Gandhi book ✅ I decided to get an Einstein book from the library. Since there was an Einstein quote in the beginning of the Gandhi book and everything, I really don't have a choice. I still haven't decided what woman I'll read about. I'm a bit afraid that you'll judge me if I choose something weird I saw a picture once where Gandhi was put relatively close to the centre at the political compass. I wonder who figured that out. He was as liberarian leftist as a person can be. He believed that the ideal world is total anarchy where everyone is equal, or that's how I understood it at least. Nobody is forced to do anything. But he also realized that people need to be enlightened as heck for that to work. I guess the reason he was put relatively centre was because he believed we get there step by step. I decided to stop working and start studying 15th august. Then I have 1.5 months to the psychology final exam Me and my mom were ranting today together about how the education system sucks A public journal seems to be the only way I manage to get stuff done. I wonder if I should make this my psychology study journal or make another one
  11. @Wisebaxter But it's game ish? You have a character there and everything and when you complete your habits it gets more health or something. Habitica - Gamify Your Life, comes up when I google it, it's the one I had once. I don't have android but I can get that one to ios Yoga ✅ 30min Meditation ✅ 20min guided Sleep ✅ 7.5 hours The sleep thing includes the no electronics and bedtime now. Took a nap yesterday I had a zombie apocalypse nightmare. Playing TWD has traumatized me apparently. I had another apocalypse nightmare a few weeks ago but it wasn't a zombie one. Also about half a year ago I had a dream where I was in a zombie apocalypse with Sadhguru. Pretty absurd Don't care about videogames that much but sometimes I enjoy roleplay games. Especially very emotionally engaging ones. And I like openworld games sometimes. I played this game named Okami at one point, it's lovely, it has beautiful graphics. It also has a spiritual tone to it. Though I don't really enjoy the fighting parts I had a headache yesterday, probably from dehydration, and lack of sleep. I had to take a painkiller so that I could fall asleep
  12. @Wisebaxter That app that is kind of like a game? I had it once actually but I deleted it But thanks for the tip anyway, I think I could try it again! Yoga ✅ 1h Meditation ✅ 50min guided Sleep No electronics ✅ Bedtime ✅ Slept 8 hours It's easy to get lost in my neverending thought patterns at work because I don't really have anything to do with my mind there. Another possibility is I could meditate while I'm working, I was doing it today. And asking the questions about my thoughts. I feel kind of bad because I'm too tired to hold a proper conversation with the woman and her husband. When I meditate and get to the point where I don't have that many thoughts, I just end up staring at this empty white screen with my mind's eye. And I get stuck in this empty white screen I can't get anywhere from it. I think that's because I lack awareness of my body.