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About Iiris

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  • Birthday 07/24/2001

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  1. Exams went alright. I might get my grades up. But maybe not. I'll see in a few months. I especially studied psychology a lot, I'm happy about that. I'll see also what happens if I stop taking sleeping pills now. Or well I've already gone without a few days. Slept about 6-7h but I've also gone to bed too late so maybe it's because that. I overreacted when I went to get them in the first place but I was so tired I couldn't really think. Also I'm not taking naps anymore there's too much sunlight for that.
  2. Don't think I'll write that practice essay today. Today was the last day I could return it but I don't have time anymore. Dissappointed. But it's ok I had a bit rough day.
  3. I've been keeping up with that schedule, not much to say Because of the courses and because I started watching these psychology videos I'm studying more like over 2 hours a day. Today I didn't do anything. I don't know why essay writing feels so overwhelming. I was supposed to write one today but I procrastinated on that. That essay problem has much to do with perfectionism probably. And indecisivness. I tried to write one yesterday but it didn't work out at all. I had spent 3 hours trying to plan and write that essay. Before that I wrote another essay which I didn't plan at all because I didn't have time, and that one turned out great. So I don't know if I write better when I don't plan what I write. I have still time tomorrow I will try writing about some new topic and not plan it at all. About the insomnia thing still, it's definitely not "severe" insomnia since I can get at least 6 hours of sleep. That's pretty good I do feel very tired some days though even with these speeling pills and melatonin. I will probably have to keep taking everything until those final exams are over. I've been taking 2mg melatonin. I tried taking 1mg a couple of nights to see if I wake up because I take too much melatonin. I still woke up many times so I'm not sure. I don't think it was worse though, I'll keep that 1mg for now.
  4. I stopped taking the sleeping pill for a few days. Only took the melatonin, I think it was a mistake. I'm able to fall asleep quickly with only the melatonin, but the problem is again waking up too early. I wake up with the sleeping pill too but I stay sleepy so I'm able to fall asleep again. I was sleeping about 6 hours a night again with only melatonin, it was way too little for me apparently. I started feeling really tired an restless so I went back to the sleeping pill. Last night I didn't take it because I had to wake up early anyway. Same thing tonight. I don't have any further plans regarding that. I feel pretty good now. Daily schedule has gone quite well, except when I was very tired I skipped it for a couple of days. It can turn into a vicious cycle, when I'm too tired I get distracted by all kinds of things and I possibly go to bed too late. Then I am more tired next day. I feel pretty hopeful about getting to university now. I realized that even with the grades I already have I could get to psychology if I'm lucky. And it doesn't seem impossible to get them up a little. If it doesn't work it doesn't, there's other ways I can get there. I mentioned here too at some point that I tried to get my final exam grades up last fall too. I didn't explain that through. I only tried psychology. I got really lazy and barely studied. When I entered the exam hall I knew I wouldn't be able to get the excellent grade which I needed. So I didn't try there either. It didn't go well at all. I've already studied way more consistently than then, I know this time I'm going to at least try. I also bought two courses. They have live lectures so that will keep me from slacking off.
  5. Last nights have been pretty good also. I still wake up but I can fall asleep after. 7-8h of sleep a night. I'm still tired but it's not overwhelming. I'll keep these sleeping pills for a while. I've been going to bed closer to 12 now. I try to get out of bed at 10:30. It's really late but I keep waking up during the night and that takes time. When I went to get the sleeping pills a couple of months ago they also sent me to a psychologist. I've been going there like once in two weeks. She gives nice perspective on these sleep issues, makes me feel less hopeless and afraid. I also told her that I need to study to get my final exam grades higher. And that it stresses me out because I failed when I tried to do that last time, and I feel like I don't have enough discipline to succeed this time either. We made some daily schedule for me together. It's quite easy I've been keeping up with it relatively well. I try to put some structure in my mornings and days. And in the late evening I try relax so I can sleep. In between I can do whatever. It has been something like this 10:30-12: wake up, do yoga, eat 12-13:45: study 14-15: take the dog out 15-17, eat, take a nap It takes effort from me to even succeed in that. I try to study 45min 2x and take a break in between. 1.5h a day, it's really little. But at least I won't slack off. I have two exams in 1.5 months, I worry is that enough studying. Finnish (first language) and psychology. I need to get excellent grades. I need to lift my grades up get to study psychology. I feel like I have a pretty good grasp of psychology but Finnish is such a broad subject I feel like I've forgotten most of it. I need to learn text analysis and essay writing. I don't know if napping is a good thing. It's a bit more difficult for me to fall asleep in the night when I've taken a nap. I sometimes also wake up easier. But I'm tired and I feel like sleeping during the day. I don't take naps every day. Evening schedule has been a bit less clear for me. Sometimes I do yoga at around 22. Usually not, I just shower, eat and listen to something calming. Then I'm ready to sleep at around midnight.