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About Iiris

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  • Birthday 07/24/2001

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  1. Thanks! What a gift
  2. I like that idea!
  3. @Zigzag Idiot Wow she is a badass. See ya
  4. Of course it went well. I just keep surviving stuff and I don’t even know how. I don’t regret anything. It was fun. I’m much better at improvising than composing. I like the flow. I was definitely scared as hell though. Now I feel kinda depressed because I don’t know when I’ll have that kind of opportunity again Im quitting this journal now seriously : D I’m full of this. It was fun but now I’m just tired of writing here. I’ll probably make a new one when I feel like it. Maybe with a similar theme. I’m grateful to everyone who has read or commented. I love you and you will be fine
  5. Seems like I have an improvisation gig tomorrow :))))) "Just play some blues guitar"
  6. That’s so lovely. I will
  7. Reversing the should statements feels so good. People shouldn’t like me. I should be anxious. I should be awkward as fuck. I should fuck this thing up. I should be lazy. It’s sometimes uncomfortable but mostly it just feels good. Okay, some of these I don’t want to accept. Like I should gain weight. No I shouldn’t I’ve been avoiding doing schoolwork because I have to plan telling about a book that I read for school, and I don’t want to think about that. I don’t like this kinda stuff that I have to plan beforehand, because then I can’t just forget it. I’ve become much better at not worrying about stuff I can’t affect I feel like I’ve healed a bit. One day I was laughing my ass off in the shower because I got this burst of self-love and femininity. I don’t remember when was the last time I felt that good about myself. I might be just crazy too. But after that I might have been feeling a bit more relaxed and open. I was talking to the guy who helps me with the anxiety stuff. Usually I’m nervous and sweating and everything there but now I was just breathing and thinking that this is not actually that terrible I’m going to play with the band at an event this friday. I haven’t talked with the singer even though I promised myself. Shit. This is where my friendships and potential friendships go What I really want with all this is to just be authentic. It’s so inspiring to see truly authentic people. I want to be like that Fuck itt I’m just going to put this song here
  8. I wouldn’t like to say this but I’m really close to fucking up my education. There’s some permanent damage already. Idk what the hell I’m going to do with this procrastination The thumbnail for Leo’s new video about love is beautiful. I can’t stop looking at it What else do I wanna say. My self-esteem is going all up and down, more than normally. At some moment I feel like I’m pretty awesome and at some other moment I feel like I’m not good enough to be alive 😬 And now that I wrote that I want to cry. Ugh This song is lovely too