RendHeaven

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About RendHeaven

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  1. In Leo's case I believe this is a genuine personality quirk and non-harmful. Can't really vouch for his copycat minions though. I've been in a similar position as this member before. I understand the appeal of high consciousness suicide out of genuine love. As a part of a human tribe, I'm supposed to act outraged and denounce something so "dangerous" but I am too conscious for that. Death = Love, and I mean that as literally as possible. At the same time, I love life. I love this human experience. I do not want to bring pain upon my (imaginary) family and friends, who are also me. So I choose to live. As does Leo, and most people who have stood at the edge of this cliff. We choose life out of love for all of this, not out of fear of loss or being outraged at oblivion. With high enough consciousness, it's inevitable that you must face Death head-on. Reconciliation of Death is a necessary part of Turquoise. But in no way does this guarantee suffering and destruction and loss. You can peacefully resolve Death, alone, in the comfort of your bedroom (chemical assistance optional but encouraged ), and resume life with a smile. Same lol. Genuine Turquoise is happy to be Green, Orange, Blue, or even Red. Dynamic range & flexibility. No resistance. I'm finally starting to learn. True detachment = indiscriminate embrace of everything. It's not about rejecting this or that. That's amazing. Explore Turquoise out of curiosity, to deepen love for what you already have. Laugh away the idea of escape. I understand this very intimately. Following Leo, there is this prevailing concept that "humanity = bullshit" If you place too much stock in human affairs, you get dragged into the illusion of finitude and limits which is fundamentally antithetical to Infinity/Limitlessness/GOD/Unconditional Love/Being. And though this is entirely true, I believe Leo fails to emphasize that humanity also = brilliance and beauty. Of course he is aware of such, but he probably has a block in expressing this publicly, since he is more fond of his role as the "bullshit detector" All of my awakenings and moments of transcendence only further deepen my appreciation for humans. I haven't tripped balls in a while but after every single trip EVER, I have consistently come back to earth with a renewed sense of appreciation and respect for all humans. These days I get this sharp PANG of gratitude doing the most mundane things such as listening to music, eating food, driving my car, having a conversation. Seeing my small role in this giant interconnected web, the effort put forth by every node in the network (unique individual people), the hardship, the overcoming, the loss, the triumph, the conflict and wars, the teamwork and philanthropy. I could cry right now if I think too hard about the flawed perfection that is the human condition. Reading the kind of person you are here, I have no doubt that you will share my experience. I believe this is a necessary phase. A door you must walk through, but not a room to stay in. Depending on your capacity for LOVE, this phase can last as little as 5 seconds. People just loop on this negativity because their LOVE is not yet strong enough. This doesn't have to be you. LOVE is a choice. Take your time. I had this from age 16 to age 24, a good 8 whole years lol. Now I don't even see humans as "having consciousness" When I see someone engaging in degeneracy, self-sabotage, complaining, drama, toxicity, or overall negativity, it doesn't compute to say they "have low consciousness" and that I somehow "have high consciousness." They're just doing their best. As am I. There is only One Consciousness. It is not "had" by anybody. "People" are composed of Consciousness. Imagine the planet Jupiter, let's pretend this is Consciousness. The dense storm swirls we see on the surface of this planet is like humans. We humans are a cluster of high-density pressure manifesting a shape on the surface of this unifying sphere. These storm swirls have different shapes and temperaments. Sometimes they clash, sometimes they unite into one superstorm. The whole time, the planet itself is never in danger. It is inviolable. It is the stage upon which the characters perform. And how can you blame another storm for being extra fierce? That guy that bothers you is identical to you. Of course, taking any of this on as a belief is antithetical to truth. Stage Turquoise is about feeling that connection with all humans in real-time. No thoughts, no beliefs. No spiritual gurus spoon-feeding you frameworks. I'm honestly still pretty lonely, but I harbor zero ill will towards anybody else and I blame nobody for the way I feel (other than myself at times, but even there I am learning to be kinder to myself). You're certainly ready for psychedelics. Just be careful with setting & legality.
  2. I dove headfirst into turquoise years ago with over eagerness resulting in spiritual bypassing and neglect of tier 1 stages. Take things at a pace that feels right.
  3. Success with women transcends individual occupation. Your labor only matters to the degree that it influences your self-belief Some men don't need to do any work at all to feel like Gods (exceedingly rare. NOT you. NOT me.) Most men need to do some degree of work before they realize their Godliness. You are in this category. I don't know your current living/labor situation, but from what I can tell you are doing the bare minimum. No wonder you feel like you "can't" The most successful men don't have single-digit IQ thoughts like you. They're thinking about laughing, having fun, fucking, and elevating. When you have good vibes, there is no reason to filter anything. That is highly attractive. Yeah no shit you're "unable" to talk about fetus smoothies without backlash. (although I could probably pull that off IF I'm in a very high vibe state and I frame it as a strictly hypothetical and she can sense that it's harmless fun) The solution is not to censor/filter your words and then to complain that you're oppressed. The answer is to rewire your mind to have high quality thoughts. Consider this: A confident, attractive, successful man can call a girl "slut" in the right context, with a cheeky nonjudgmental smirk, and she will laugh and blush and try to clear her name in a cute way "stoppp i'm nottt!" She just got a little more excited. But then you come along and call the same girl "SLUT." You're serious. You mean it. You're mad. You want her to suffer and cry. You want her to admit on behalf of all women that she has wronged you. You're threatening. You might hurt her. You don't understand why the other guy gets away with it. It's all so unfair. The air is heavy. Her face contorts, she scoffs and struts off. You think: "what a bitch" You both said the same thing, why oh why the difference in her reaction?????? can someone plz explain??? I'm perfectly serious. Of course you can say whatever you want at any time. Nothing stops your mouth from moving. "I can't say" is a dishonest phrase. You probably meant to say, "I can't say without consequences" This would be correct. No shit your actions and words have consequences. If you tell a girl that she should be sex trafficked, she will react negatively. OBVIOUSLY. Lol. No fucking shit. Especially if you say it in a serious way. But that doesn't mean that you CAN'T say those words. You are ALWAYS free to say whatever you want. The only question is: Are you able to handle the consequences? Better yet, are you able to be so authentic that you bypass all consequences? You currently have this self-belief that your fucked up thoughts are authentic. Wrong, you are self deceived. You only have low-IQ thoughts such as fetus smoothies and sex trafficking because you are in an inauthentic state of self-hatred. Self-hatred is not your true nature. You did not pop out of your mother's womb with self-hatred. Self-hatred is a learned behavior, a mask, a pattern that developed overtime. It's cope. Learn authentic self-love. Dissolve neurotic holding patterns. Change the quality of your thoughts. Elevate. That's the point of this work and this forum.
  4. *I could be so much more as a person
  5. I am. But I could be so much more. Paradox. It was 2 years outdated. I'll have a new picture soon.
  6. No, the goal is to get the self-belief/confidence to rival a narcissist/sociopath but not to actually become one yourself. You're retarded if you think that being an egomanic is genuinely gratifying or fulfilling. If this is to say that women deserve abuse and trauma, stop. No, this builds dependence and makes you sloppy. Your financial lack is a direct reflection of your inability to provide value to the world. You are a leech, you have nothing to give. It's repulsive, and you know it deep down. It has nothing to do with how others perceive you. It's a matter of how YOU perceive you. Go work fast food (or whatever labor is a step-up from where you are at now) and you'll be slightly less of a leech. Yes because you're a leech. Change that. Completely avoidable. I don't have this fear. You are always free to say whatever you want. There is no such thing as "I can't say..." The most successful men say whatever the fuck is on their minds and women suck their cocks for it. So what's the difference between your communication and a successful man's communication? For starters, you preemptively assume rejection and your bodylanguage/tone becomes defensive and contracted, and that comes across as unattractive at best, threatening at worst, and you get bad reactions, which further solidifies your negative self image causing you to contract and defend even more. It's likely that you go into interactions with women as though it's some sort of battlefield, equipped with mental armor and ready to take a beating. Since you're so eager for a fight, it's no wonder women comply. If you really love women as much as you claim, how about you try 100 approaches where you show nothing but appreciation and reverence. And if they disrespect your frame, calmly put them in their place with a genuine smile as though they were a cute puppy whos barking too much. See them for who they are - a perfect, flawed human being in need of grounded masculine authenticity. Be done with this lazy leech shit. If you respond to this with more complaints, you simply don't deserve sex and that's that. If you want sex, shut up and grow yourself.
  7. Yes that is legit, but only if you have more self-belief than literal billionaires. Owen is talking about genuine sociopaths and narcissists. They have a warped sense of reality unlike you or I. To sense even a fraction of that confidence from your current state of crippling lack is triple black diamond slope difficulty. In a first world country like America, 99.999% of broke guys are mentally handicapped (they limit themselves). They're "flat broke" for a reason. You can't even make minimum wage to support yourself? Good luck having more self-belief than a billionaire. And although yes, you could technically free your mind without changing your material circumstances, it would be significantly easier to just go make a mild amount of money to self-sustain. Flipping burgers at McDonalds is better for your self esteem than doing nothing all day and seeing $0 in your checking account. Your mind needs physical proof of your capabilities, not empty promises. One does not simply wallclip to invincible confidence overnight.
  8. I thought I was the only one who had something to say about this 😭
  9. sounds like standard body load. no big deal happens every time for me and my friends this i'm not too sure about.
  10. do not expose to heat, light, air, moisture. pretty standard procedure. bare minimum = keep in plastic baggie in a cool dry dark place
  11. lol you're such a scallywag we would be great friends
  12. There's hope for you The wealth part is only semi-true. There are ways for you to be average-wealth at 40 and bang hot 20 year olds (but you would have to be abnormally self-actualized). Being flat broke is pretty unacceptable. But even then, my reaction to that information would be: "Ok then, time to get wealthy." or, "Time to get self-actualized." Dude, fucking awesome. Now go do that every day. Being honest with your words is a good thing, but don't go out of your way to announce low self-worth.