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  1. Can_you_be_at_a_level_of_development.pdf A short read with a different perspective.
  2. @Scholar Read the guidelines bro
  3. do you by any chance have 200 IQ?
  4. The easy life is the hard life
  5. What a beautiful post! If I may ask, what is your daily meditation technique? Is it Goenka-style Vipassana? That is, observing sensations throughout the body? 1 hour in the morning and 1 in the evening, like they suggest?
  6. Unfortunately, I agree. I don't want to be an asshole as well, but what the hell, all the toxic arguing, projecting, attacking & then playing defense. What kind of bullcrap is this. This is a self-improvement forum - if I wanted to see the stuff listed above, I'd go to twitter. I have decided put Preety and her boyfriend on my ignored list a long time ago, but it's no use, because with her arguing others are engaging in it too, thus bringing a bad vibe to the conversation + derailing threads as a bonus. All of this is really making my experience on this forum tiresome sometimes. Yes, I know that I should be more understanding and work on myself instead of blaming others for my bad experience, but it still is the case that there is some problem here. And I'm sure it's a distraction for many other users too, not only me. Sorry.
  7. Hey all! On Sunday I've returned from my second 10-day Goenka-style Vipassana retreat. I decided to share a report here, so that some of you get inspired or just more or less get to know how it's like there This post does NOT contain spoilers for the Vipassana technique. There are, however, minor spoilers for how the retreat is structured and such. This report is quite personal. Without further ado, let's jump in. 1. Introduction Some context: I am 19, I did my first course 1 year ago in September. It was extremely difficult for me for many reasons. The course I've finished just now was taking place in the same center as before (Dhamma Pallava). This one was half as difficult for me personally, but still hard nevertheless. Let's set some background - how have I been feeling before the retreat? With what mindset did I go there? August and start of September were really good times for me. I've learned to become more deeply satisfied with my life and, oh gosh, how greatly things have gone from there. My meetings with friends were some of the best I've had - I just vibed with them. So satisfying.... And just enjoying the simple, beautiful things like reading a book, going for a walk, canoeing, basking in my being... My levels of fulfillment were going through the roof. And another important thing: I've learned to spontaneously induce profound feelings of contentment within me. When I do this, I clearly feel an energy/sensation shift in my body. I become content with just being, accepting myself for who I am right now, connecting with the present moment and feeling a subtle delight. One day before the course I have read the book "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. Thanks to the wisdom from it, I was deeply motivated and inspired to have a strong spirit and optimistic attitude, even if things got hard. I wanted to "be worthy of my sufferings", as Dostoevsky puts it. And I succeeded - more on that later. Before my leave, I have also decided to not be too hard on myself. I didn't want to torment myself. I didn't want experience torture like last time. I've decided to accept the scenario that I don't make the most use out of the course, for the sake of relieving myself even a bit. Although obviously I've also made a commitment to try my best. But within reason. All the things I've listed above I consider very important. They helped me get through with a strong spirit, determination, hope and above-average acceptance of myself. They were a powerful foundation for the course, without which the whole experience could have been MUCH WORSE. Much more painful. Like last time. So, let's get to the actual thing! 2. Day by day On day -1 (before the retreat), I was mostly strong and optimistic. But in the evening... I kinda broke down. I recalled the feeling of overwhelm. If I had to summarize my first course with one word, it would be that. Overwhelm. I let myself cry and cry. I was already missing my family. I was already feeling strained, just by the memory... But I managed to get myself together and went to sleep. Day 0. I woke up at 7 to see my sister one last time and hugged her goodbye. I also remember my mom giving me a kiss while I was still sleeping. Wholesome Anyways, I was feeling much stronger, not so stressed anymore. I was supposed to meet the guy giving me a ride at 3 PM (I'll call him Rob from now on). I packed everything, hugged my cat goodbye and went to the meeting place. There I also met Ralph and Jane, who were going with us also. And oh boy, what a great ride we had. The conversation flowed so smoothy We were talking about our spiritual journeys, experiences, psychedelics, some amazing journeys they had, and such. In the first few days of the retreat during the meditations I was thinking about that car ride a lot. Nice to vibe with pretty conscious people once in a while, haha. Jane was classic stage green to me with such a great personality and I liked her the most. This was her first time going to Vipassana. Rob was already 10+ times there and he was a very open-minded, chill guy, cool to hang out with. Ralph was strongly green, but with a more introverted personality (which gave me insight into how each SD stage can be expressed with different personalities) and he too was a great guy. Won't go into more detail - they were beautiful people and I hope to keep in touch with them. Anyways, we arrived pretty late, but it was no problem (although we had to give them a call earlier during the day). I got an assigned room, unpacked, ate dinner, talked some more with the guys. In the evening the course started. We went into Noble Silence. We practiced Anapana for the first time and then went to beds. I was going to sleep quite optimistic and determined. In general, days 1, 2 and 3 were a piece of cake for me. Anapana is a rather simple technique and every day I was able to motivate myself - "it's still just Anapana, it's actually quite fun, I like this technique. Let's move forward!". My meditations went well, although monkey mind was strong. Memories of the conversation in the car were persistent. Nevertheless, I was often able to concentrate and just focus on the technique. I could still change my position, so it was okay. My days passed pretty quickly. I observed how they passed, how time flowed... The impermanence. These first 3 days really were alright and I had a strong spirit and was full of hope and determination. Every evening before going to sleep I was talking to myself (very quietly) and encouraging myself :)) and I was successful with it. "I'm already done with the 2nd day! These 2 days were really challenging, but how quickly they have passed! The other 8 days will surely pass just as quickly :))". Although one thing was kinda bugging me... Because of the fact that I was waking at ~4, the morning meditations were often unfruitful and it was very hard to focus. But it wasn't just ordinary sleepiness - sometimes I was literally half-asleep and on the 2nd day, I literally experienced hallucinations during one of my sessions. The sleepy state was preventing me from catching focus for even a few seconds. After lunch I was always taking a nap and after it I was full of energy and ready to meditate, but before it, man... Seriously. During the sessions after breakfast on the 3rd day, I've finally had enough. I said to myself "alright, that's it, I can't go on like this. Not only are these meditations in the morning completely unproductive, I am also torturing myself with half-asleep state, it was devastating to me. So I made a deal with myself: from the 4th day I would sleep until 6 AM (that is, skip the 2 hour meditation before breakfast), BUT I had to do all my other meditations in the meditation hall, never in the room (context: if I went to my room, I slacked off much more), which was intended to make the sessions more serious. I was exchanging quantity for quality. And so the deal was made (spoiler: in retrospect, this was a very good decision on my part, and I'm proud of it. More on that later) Days 4-6. Shit started getting harder. The 4th one was Vipassana day and the "teaching of Vipassana" session was so tiring and painful for me that I cried for the first time on the course. I was angry (with Goenka's fucking chanting, and with how needlessly long this session lasted), in pain (because we were expected to sit without moving - although I didn't do that, it was still emotionally difficult). But the rest of the day was okay. The start of the 5th day was challenging (I was sleepy in spite of the fact that I slept til 6! This was the only day this happened), but during the afternoon break I was taking my usual walk around the small forest build for us. I was feeling a gentle wind on my face. I looked at how the leaves moved subtly. I looked at the clouds, the sun, the beautiful blue sky... It was so charming. I connected with the beauty of life in that moment. And when the break ended, at the start of a meditation session I thought about how meaningful such moments were for me. I thought that even if my life was constant suffering and I was on my death bed with the option to hit a restart button and live it all in exactly the same way (with no memory of it), I would do it just so I could experience this beauty. Then I thought about how even the "bad" moments were ultimately meaningful and beautiful. I thought about how solely the fact that I am living is so, so beautiful.... All these thoughts made me weep for a good 10 minutes. The 6th day was probably the hardest - it was not the sleepiness, but the sole difficulty of these sessions that got me. But in the end, I still had a strong spirit. And in the evening, I've had soooo many good ideas for how I could be a better person, what I could do in my life when I came back. I just had to take out my notebook and write them down, so as not to forget (this was the second and last time I have used a notebook on this course. Yes, it was against the rules. More on that later). Had a good night Days 7-8. In general, the second half of the course was harder for me. The days started to drag on. I kinda stopped observing impermanence and just "brute-forced" through the days. "Aight, tomorrow is the 8th day. Let's just fucking do it already." Meditating was tougher, but I still persisted. Some sessions were better, some were worse. On the 7th day I saw the most beautiful sky ever. Lol, I walked out of my room after my lunch nap and I was dumbfounded. What the fuck? How is the sky so INSANELY charming? I don't exactly have the language the explain to you what I saw, why it was beautiful. The clouds were like these huge vertical statues and they were connected with subtler clouds with what resembled a spider web, besides that the sky was perfectly blue. Anyways, on the 8th day I've decided to wake up at 4 AM. The previous day during the evening discourse Goenka said that if we go to sleep consciously, we are going to be well-rested even if we don't sleep much. I wanted to try it out + prove to myself that I am not waking up at 6 out of laziness, but because it is making my experience here more fruitful and better for me. So if I woke up at 4 AND was able to meditate, well, it would be desirable. But I was quite tired. Maybe not half-asleep, but the additional sleep would probably have done me more good. Well, whatever. Also that day during one of the sessions I got a huge craving for unhealthy food. I was very irritated with Goenka's fucking chantings (more later). I had a desire to "go rogue" and "fuck all of this", haha. Eat shit food, fuck all this high-consciousness shit and Goenka's bullshit, fuck everything! But I didn't do anything and in the evening I was able to calm myself down and bring back my spirit and solid positivity. Days 9-10. The 9th day was very good. My meditations went well. I was conscious that this was pretty much the end and tried to persist just a little longer. Tried to really be conscious and equanimous during my sessions And I succeeded I guess. The 10th day was obviously very enjoyable, because I had the opportunity to talk to everyone (the Noble Silence is over from the morning), especially my friends Rob, Ralph and Jane. Had some great conversations, especially with Ralph, surprisingly! At first we didn't click at THAT deep of a level (+I thought he vibed with Rob more), but then it took a single good question from me to open him up and engage in really personal, meaningful conversation. Talking with Jane and Rob was also engaging, and with others too. So many interesting people, so many interesting life stories and perspectives! Also, on the 10th day you learn Metta, which is a beautiful ending to this whole endeavour. Day 11. I watched the last discourse from Goenka, cleaned up the room, hugged Jane goodbye (she was going to some other city). Left with Rob and Ralph very early. Listening to music on the ride home was so, so magical A lot of songs were playing in my head during the retreat, haha. Then I parted ways with the guys, arrived back home.... But I felt weird. Was I actually happy that I'm back? I don't know. I felt this void inside me. It was great to see my mom again, my sister, dad, my cat, text some of my friends... But something was missing. Not too long after arrival I went on a walk to the local park and just laid on the grass, listening to music. I was feeling tired.. and lonely. This emptiness, I haven't felt it for quite some time. Huh. Well, it passed and by the end of the day I was feeling okay again Also, another chapter of a game I really liked came out while I was gone and I was excited to play it in the evening. 3. Notes There is still some shit I haven't talked about! Actually, during this course I had no truly emotionally difficult moments like last time. A year ago I was crying almost every day, for different reasons. One day I was feeling unworthy, one day I was missing my family and friends, one day I was judging myself, this, that... one day it was crying out of love, out of forgiveness... So many things. This time, I cried only twice - 4th day (angry & tired) and 5th day (beauty of life). Besides that, no crises or anything. I was wondering.... should I be glad that I got through without that much suffering? My thought process was this: "Yes, last time I have suffered a lot, but maybe it was a process of purification and I should be glad that I've cried so many tears, because I've worked through a lot of things. Now I didn't suffer much. Should I be happy with it? Is that suffering actually desirable, in some way?". Well, my position on it right now is that I don't need to experience torture to for growth and I'm happy that I completed the course with more ease. That's a sign of growth I guess. Again, as I said, I was really frustrated with Goenka's chanting. Ok, I get it, he's sending us positive vibrations and saying loving and wise things and shit... but do I really have to listen to this fucking shit 8-11 times a day? For fucks sake! What kind of bullshit is this? How am I supposed to focus when I hear this terrible fucking voice over my head!!!!!! (at the start and end of many sessions) And no, earplugs didn't work. Btw, you can't even wear earplugs in the meditation hall. In the second half my hormones started to remind me of their existence. I was actually scared of having a wet dream, lol. Fortunately, that didn't happen. Advice you won't hear anywhere else - bring some highlander socks with you and meditate in them. The floor in the meditation hall or the temperature in general can get cold and such socks really help. I was the only person wearing these, many ppl actually had no socks at all, lol (whatever works for them). I liked being warm and comfortable, definitely think about it! Also, I wouldn't advise building a fort out of the meditation cushions. Many have done this, literally brought a few cushions and even borrowed more from the center and then made a fort with the hope that it'll make them more comfortable. Well, I doubt it. I found that a simple 8-10 centimeter tall meditation cushion works really well. It's also no surprise that the oldest students I saw also had very simple set-ups, like a single cushion or a meditation bench + some blankets. However, if having a fort helps you, I guess do what suits you haha. My local center is actually very good, with high standards and I'm extremely grateful for that. Good cuisine, single rooms with private bathrooms (I heard that in most centers rooms are shared with others, and bathrooms are as well). The servers were so nice, gosh. And the male manager too. I had the necessity to ask them for A) some vitamins, because I was feeling a bit sick on the 2nd day and B) an alarm clock, because mine has broken on the 3rd day for whatever reason. They were nothing but nice and helpful, which only made my days better, I felt like I was being supported and working in a nice atmosphere. The teacher was nice too. I was able to have a laugh with him once :)) Oh, speaking of the teacher... there's one more thing I need to talk about. During the course I've had many feelings of doubt regarding the theoretical foundation built by Goenka during the discourses, the technique itself and its efficiency, the teacher, the meditators... During the evening discourses I was constantly on the verge, trying to catch subtle assumptions so as not to start believing something unconsciously. In spite of the fact that Vipassana is supposed to be so pure and assumption-free and all, certainly many of these are made there (regarding how enlightenment works, how one goes about "becoming" enlightened, what even is enlightenment, that person X and Y were completely liberated, what is the "good life", and some more). I was trying not to become indoctrinated and not to believe in the technique so readily, because there are also made assumptions about it (eg. when you create no new desires/aversions, old ones get eradicated). Idk, maybe they are true, but I can't be sure and the technique pretty much relies on them. However, in spite of this, I was obviously still working as hard as I should. My doubts were intellectual, but I was working as told while I was there (mostly). I was also doubting the teacher. Although he was nice and all, I mean, how wise and conscious really was he? During student-teacher talks he basically repeated the stuff Goenka already said. I'd be surprised if he said something new, "coming from him" - but he didn't. In the evening there were always Q&As, but this year I didn't go there once, because I felt like I wouldn't hear anything new anyways. And regarding the other people on the course, well, I felt like they were fully in line with all the assumptions laid out for them. Maybe I'm wrong, but I felt like they weren't really thinking for themselves there. Well, what can you do after a 1 hour discourse every evening for 10 days - your mind gets filled with these ideas and it's hard to resist it, because the worldview presented is cohesive, makes sense and all. So yeah. Lastly, I recommend that you share a ride to your first course, so that you can't escape (don't arrive with your car). Unless you're truly determined, then u can think about it. Btw, on this retreat I haven't had a single thought of leaving, not even something remotely similar had come to my mind. Strong spirit. Although sometimes I have dreamed of coming back and meeting my family or friends. But it was more out of excitement, rather than longing. In the evening, I would say to myself things like "Oh my, X days have passed already and I'm doing so great. It was hard, but I'm doing it, I'm proud of myself. When all of this is over, I'm going to meet my family and spent some nice time with them, it's gonna be great, etc etc" 4. Lessons I thought about what lessons I could derive from this experience. But there is not that much I can say, really. The lesson of impermanence, again. I observed how the days, the hours, the sessions progressed slowly (mostly during the first half of the course). Even if I had some long session ahead of me, I just said to myself "it seems long, but it'll be over in the blink of an eye" - and it was. This helped me cope with some hardships massively. And in general, since last year I've become much more mindful of impermanence, and it's helping me, especially in difficult situations. "I have a long day ahead of me, but it'll pass so quickly, oh my. Just like it always does." The lesson is, everything will pass, obviously, and so why be so serious? haha A certain amount of time and a certain kind of topic is needed in order to have a conversation go deeper and more personal. On day 0 I was sure that out of the 3 people I rode to the course with, I liked Jane the most. But on the 10th day I hit a bullseye with a great conversation topic with Ralph, which has opened him and myself and we just had a great talk, and it might have even made me like him more than others. I saw more clearly who he is as a person and I admired it. You know, it really came to me as a surprise that my initial intuition about who I liked most was wrong. Expect the unexpected, lol. The lesson for me is that sometimes I ought to give people a little more time and try to hit that bullseye. When you meet a stranger, you don't know what makes him click. You have to spend time on discovering it, and when you do, he might open your heart to you. If I hadn't had that ONE conversation with Ralph, my relation to him would be much more different. And time was needed to reach that conversation. Now I think to myself: how many times was I close to hitting the bullseye with some person, but I didn't dedicate enough time and effort? Maybe I would have clicked with people I hadn't considered. Maybe I was close, but not close enough. Obviously I'm not dwelling on any regrets here, just food for thought. On the one hand, it's important to be the captain of your ship and customize your life to yourself, adjust the rules if you can. I'm thinking about the waking up at 6 thing. Others woke up at 4, hell, even I woke up at 4 every day on the first retreat! (granted, the 1st one was torture, so...) But for me it was simply unsustainable, I needed that extra sleep and it resulted in my meditations being better. I'm glad I did it. I consciously broke the rules and it paid off. On the other hand... sometimes it's also better to have some more trust in the rules laid out by people that are wiser, know more than you. Bringing the notebook to the course comes to mind. Before I thought that using it to "get the thoughts out of my system" would make my ability to be conscious better - because from my experience, this was more or less the case. "If I externalize the thoughts I'm having rn, they won't be appearing as much during meditation". But when I first used it on day 0, I immediately realized that actually I got stuck in my head more, rather than less. I was thinking more. So I stopped and only used it again for a minute on day 6 to write down a few ideas. Nevertheless, I gained more appreciation for these rules and actually, I was in the wrong with the notebook thing. So, it's a tough balance to strike: trusting your gut and breaking the rules vs. having some faith in the rules that were probably made by ppl with more experience and such. ESPECIALLY if you don't have enough information and foresight and you don't know if you should listen to yourself. In the first case my breaking of the rules benefited me. In the second one, it didn't (although it didn't cause much harm too). So when do you know when to break the rules? This requires wisdom. I've read vipassana reports of people breaking the rules left and right - microdosing during the course, using a different technique, using a notebook, etc. I don't really think that's wise rule breaking. They definitely get something radically different from the course. Not necessarily better or worse, but surely different. Although more often than not it's worse I think, because the course is structured in a specific way that will benefit the most the approach that it has in mind. Speaking of the rules... I'm not proud to say it, but on day 0 I have actually told Jane that I was going to break the rules with the notebook and told her that I've read reports about ppl breaking the rules, and I laughed at that moment. I laughed at how absurd it is that some ppl seriously just do their shit with completely no regard for the rules. But after the fact I felt like I've made a mistake in telling that to Jane before her first retreat. This might have demoralized her a bit. Idk, I haven't asked. But I regretted in on my 1st day and I've made a commitment to never ever demoralize people and make them lose faith in the thing they're excited to do, in any way. I have honored that commitment on the 10th day and didn't say anything even slightly negative about the technique, despite the fact that I don't really believe it's the best. I do not want to discourage people, especially newbies, from pursuing a spiritual path of any sort. In general, I also want to be more positive and refrain from ANY dimming of people's lights, in whatever way, even if it means that I don't express myself with full authenticity. I want people to feel good about themselves, feel good with what they do. Sometimes harsh truths need to be said to kinda wake someone up, yes, but, well... I just think that I should be much more careful with my language and think twice before I say some things. Even brutal truths can most likely be said in a way that doesn't dim a person's inner light.. or at least not more than necessary >.> The power of strong spirit, hope, optimism. I don't know what I would have done without it on this retreat. This was my first time truly embracing this attitude to its fullest extent and my lesson is to simply continue doing it in life. Maybe when I start my business in the future, for example - I will have to be my own cheerleader, as Leo (?) puts it. When things get hard, when I have to face harships, maybe if I get some illness or some other shit - all of that can be approached with hope and strength, optimism, persistence in moving forward in spite of the difficulties. Previously I have taken optimism for granted. Now I think it is the key. 5. Wrap-up The retreat was a good experience for me. I'm glad I did it and I'm proud of myself. There are certainly some things that annoyed me. I wish I could make my own retreats, but at this point in my life it's not the best idea, I think - mostly because of the cost. Also, maybe another organized retreat wouldn't hurt me. After all, my discipline can always use some improvement, lol. And an organized retreat comes with many, many benefits. Remember than a Vipassana course is free (although, of course, you are encouraged to give a donation at the end). Servers are preparing food for you, providing you with everything (bless them). You don't have to worry about any organizational, or outside world stuff. You have amazing conditions to meditate there. It's a great opportunity and I HIGHLY suggest you try such a Vipassana course, if you feel like you're ready for it. In the end, I don't think that the Vipassana technique is the way for me. I don't doubt it works. I just don't really want to work this way, is all. I have different goals for my spiritual life in mind and what I want to get from my technique. I want to approach spirituality from another angle. Won't go into much detail here. Now that I'm back and I've done some reading and thinking, I'm quite sure I'm making the right move This doesn't mean, however, that I won't come back for another 10-day course. It will still make me a better meditator, help me meet amazing, conscious people, serve as a detox from all the shit I do normally. I have a lot of love for Vipassana. The whole organization is something really special. I know it's creating much goodness in the world, helping a lot of ppl free themselves from suffering. The community is so great. This whole opportunity to go on a retreat for free is such a gift and I'm incredibly grateful. With this feeling of gratitude and love, the report has reached its end. Lol, this must be the longest one I've ever written. If you have any questions, please ask away, I'd be glad to help. Thanks for reading & May all beings be happy
  8. I'm going on a 10-day Vipassana retreat tomorrow! You know, during the last few months I was at times very nervous about it. I knew what to expect (cuz this will be my 2nd retreat). A lot of suffering and serious work. But paradoxically, the closer I am to the retreat, the more peaceful I am. In August I've started to feel deep satisfaction with my life and myself, no matter the circumstances, and a lot of stuff has changed for me, but I'm not gonna go into that here. In short, I'm simply more in love with my life and accepting myself more. August was the best month for me this year so far. It was beautiful, truly... And so now I'm okay with going to the retreat, I'm looking forward to it. I have no expectations for myself. I'm not gonna treat myself like a dog and think that if I fail to ace every day there and be extremely disciplined, I'm somehow less worthy of acceptance. LOL, what a bunch of fucking nonsense. I will try to spend my time there wisely, but even if I don't, that's okay. I am still loved, I have a lot of great stuff in my life that I'm excited about and I have an optimistic vision for my future :)) I'm so grateful that I've discovered spirituality and personal development and, of course, Leo so early in my life and I just can't contain my love for A) what I envision for myself and B) my being right now, in this very moment. I can literally come back to my being in meditation at any point in my life, no matter the circumstance, and find satisfaction there. How fucking beautiful is that. This is a gift from the universe, and it fills me with so much hope and love and optimism. Aaaaaa!! I'll try to remember this during my retreat to keep my spirit strong. Anyways, wish me luck
  9. Tried to be honest with myself - what I value intellectually vs how I've ACTUALLY behaved irl up till now. I can be opportunistic and maybe I could even step on others to get what I want (I'd have to totally not think about them), but who knows.
  10. Maybe it was beginner's luck. My theory is that after you have some deep mystical experience, your mind is "learning" and trying to keep similar experiences from you going forwards (why? I don't know for myself). I have somewhat validated this with my trips and my spiritual practice. About a month ago I learned to spontaneously induce the feeling of deep love and satisfaction inside myself (thanks to Leo!) and just bask in it, love reality and myself profoundly. But some time passed and now it's much rarer for me to do it, even if I try. I mean, then it pretty much didn't require any effort, but now I can hardly ever do it even if I meditate before that. I imagine it's like playing chess with my own mind. I have a glimpse of love or some awakening, then my mind adapts and makes a move. I have a profound state of consciousness after shamanic breathing, then my mind adapts and I don't have it again. I make a move, it makes a move. And so on. I guess if I was more serious, I could probably overcome this, or these "barriers" wouldn't even exist. Or maybe it's just my imagination, idk.
  11. Cat defies gravity... or does it?
  12. Had the same experience. I even thought of walking out LOL. But I decided to stay open-minded and it paid out Glad you liked it!
  13. Yup, I see that here a lot too. In the end it's hard to face your deficiencies head on and most people don't do that, or at least it's not their first instinct. Copers gotta cope, haha. It's easier to go around the problem and, while you're at it, paint a picture of how actually you're great for not addressing it, because you're so spiritual and you don't need to do it or you even shouldn't do it and actuaaaally these chads are unconscious and not truly happy and these women are not worth it and bla bla bla. All these excuses and stories that make you feel good with staying in your comfort zone. Agreed
  14. Well, actually, it says at the top that this is a self-improvement forum