flyingwhalee

Done with LSD ?

20 posts in this topic

LSD has been a very useful chemical to me for the past 3 years. I grew a lot, and working with it in a non-dual context allowed for beautiful awakenings and spectacular God realizations I will forever cherish the memory of.

It seems like I cannot use it anymore. My 3 to 4 last trips were horrific. I lack the words to describe how hellish they become. It goes like this:

- I meditate like I always use to for the duration of the come up (1h). The familiar Lysergamide very energetic body load takes place. I place my awareness on itself, going deeper along with the feeling of existential love growing.

- In a matter of a few minutes, everything goes very bad. Heart starts racing, all the love turns into extreme despair. It's not just panic. Multiply this by infinity. Everything in me is convinced this is the end. In fact, it's far worse than death: it's the end of every joy, love, hope. It's just like reality, that you used to love and recognize as yourself, turns against you in the most heartbreaking way. It's suicidal.

I used to think that this was result of consuming Nbomes. I wish this theory was true, it is not. It happened again today with a light 150 AL-LAD, that I tested.

At this point, I think the problem is in my brain chemistry. I have no idea if this is a Lysergamide problem only. I was planning on working with 5-Meo-DMT in a few weeks, needless to say I got cold feet. 

Does this ring a bell to anybody ? It's hard to imagine this is a me problem only.


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Perhaps the LSD is letting you know it's time for a break to work on yourself through other means. It sounds like you were already shown a lot in your earlier LSD trips, maybe it's time to focus on integration. How do you feel after the dark trips are over? How long does the despair last, is it worse on the come up or does it get worse throughout the trip?

When trips start to turn dark like this I take it as a sign I'm in need for a break and time for sober integration of what I've learned, time to work on myself. Yoga, meditation, exercise, working on your nutrition, sleep habits, relationships, carreer, to name a few different possibilities of what you could work on moving forwards to help grow yourself and help release eventual emotions that are stored in the body.

Edited by Asayake

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Just now, Asayake said:

Perhaps the LSD is letting you know it's time for a break to work on yourself through other means. It sounds like you were already shown a lot in your earlier LSD trips, maybe it's time to focus on integration. How do you feel after the dark trips are over?

That's what I thought at first, but that's not it. After the 1st really bad one, I waited for a few months. Before today's trip, I hadn't tripped in a year.

After those trips, I feel puzzled and a lot of sadness. At first I'm a bit relieved, like "Okay, it seems like I will survive. Good." Then, it feels like I have been denied access connexion to God, and it's rough.

7 minutes ago, Asayake said:

When trips start to turn dark like this I take it as a sign I'm in need for a break and time for sober integration of what I've learned, time to work on myself. Yoga, meditation, exercise, working on your nutrition, sleep habits, relationships, carreer, to name a few different possibilities of what you could work on moving forwards to help grow yourself and help release eventual emotions that are stored in the body.

All of this is solid advice. I work very much on every aspect of my life currently. I still think this is a very particuliar problem that might have another cause.


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What is your dosing?

LSD can take the mind to some really horrible places. Maybe you got the message, and your mind doesn't want to take this ride anymore, and it is time to ground your growth and awakening in practices like self-inquiry/meditation.

Your trip detail isn't descripted enough to understand what is/was going in your mind prior and during the trip. From what you did share, it sounds like the trip took you very fast towards ego death, perhaps too fast and too deep, and the mind tried to block it (hence the beyond panic feeling, the conviction that everything is going to end, the end of everything that is positive in life). At this point usually when the mind is trying to block the effect of the substance there is not much to do other than complete letting go and surrendering (which isn't a doing, more like relinquishing the internal resistance and "allow" everything that is happening).

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Why do you think anything is wrong with these experiences? Why isn't that just exactly what you need right now? Maybe not seeing this makes it more difficult than it has to be?

Have your read Chris Bache's book LSD and the Mind of the Universe where he does 80 high dose trips in 20 years? What you describe is his bread and butter in many of the sessions. This is what needs to be looked at completely for one to go further. Realizations and insights often come after facing stuff like this and purifying it. It honestly doesn't sound in any way out of the ordinary in the context of using the substances in this manner. Of course, listen to your intuition (not your fears) - maybe it IS time for a break. But maybe the message is another. Maybe your reaction is showing you where you need more work :) 

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If it’s soothing or comforting, if it makes you feel warm and fuzzy; if it’s about getting into pleasant emotional or mental states; if it’s about peace, love, tranquility, silence or bliss; if it’s about a brighter future or a better tomorrow; if it makes you feel good about yourself or boosts your self-esteem, tells you you’re okay, tells you everything’s just fine the way it is; if it offers to improve, benefit or elevate you, or if it suggests that someone else is better or above you; if it’s about belief or faith or worship; if it raises or alters consciousness; if it combats stress or deepens relaxation, or if it’s therapeutic or healing, or if it promises happiness or relief from unhappiness, if it’s about any of these or similar things, then it’s not about waking up. Then it’s about living in the dreamstate, not smashing out of it. ... On the other hand, if it feels like you’re being skinned alive, if it feels like a prolonged evisceration, if you feel your identity unraveling, if it twists you up physically and drains your health and derails your life, if you feel love dying inside you, if it seems like death would be better, then it’s probably the process of awakening. That, or a terrible case of gas. (Jed Mckenna)

Note: I don't think this quote is 100% right. But there is a kernel of truth here.

Yeah, You'll probably go through some hellish states to awaken. This is for your greater good.

I experienced this on LSD in the recent months. And sober too, actually.

Be safe out there. Never give up. You WILL come out victorious - and changed for the better!

You're doing good. Experience these states openly.

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@Sincerity hey I'd like to work with other psychedelics as well but it's extremely difficult if not impossible to acquire them in the US.  If we could discuss sourcing a lot of psychedelics that could help us grow could become available.  Leo is probably getting them from an illegal source so any discussion would make him liable for arrest using a schedule 1 substance.  Yet he acquires all sorts of psychedelics for his spiritual growth.  Sure I'd like to verify a lot of what he says but if he puts up roadblocks, how do you get around them?

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1 hour ago, Ramu said:

@Sincerity hey I'd like to work with other psychedelics as well but it's extremely difficult if not impossible to acquire them in the US.  If we could discuss sourcing a lot of psychedelics that could help us grow could become available.  Leo is probably getting them from an illegal source so any discussion would make him liable for arrest using a schedule 1 substance.  Yet he acquires all sorts of psychedelics for his spiritual growth.  Sure I'd like to verify a lot of what he says but if he puts up roadblocks, how do you get around them?

I'm not your guy for this. I'm getting my stuff from the street for now (and it's not much)

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@flyingwhalee if i where you, i would do a breakthrough of 5 meo DMT. It's going to reconfigure your energy patterns. Try first some small doses and see how you react. 

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On 24.10.2022 at 8:37 AM, flyingwhalee said:

LSD has been a very useful chemical to me for the past 3 years. I grew a lot, and working with it in a non-dual context allowed for beautiful awakenings and spectacular God realizations I will forever cherish the memory of.

It seems like I cannot use it anymore. My 3 to 4 last trips were horrific. I lack the words to describe how hellish they become. It goes like this:

- I meditate like I always use to for the duration of the come up (1h). The familiar Lysergamide very energetic body load takes place. I place my awareness on itself, going deeper along with the feeling of existential love growing.

- In a matter of a few minutes, everything goes very bad. Heart starts racing, all the love turns into extreme despair. It's not just panic. Multiply this by infinity. Everything in me is convinced this is the end. In fact, it's far worse than death: it's the end of every joy, love, hope. It's just like reality, that you used to love and recognize as yourself, turns against you in the most heartbreaking way. It's suicidal.

I used to think that this was result of consuming Nbomes. I wish this theory was true, it is not. It happened again today with a light 150 AL-LAD, that I tested.

At this point, I think the problem is in my brain chemistry. I have no idea if this is a Lysergamide problem only. I was planning on working with 5-Meo-DMT in a few weeks, needless to say I got cold feet. 

Does this ring a bell to anybody ? It's hard to imagine this is a me problem only.

Hey @flyingwhalee,

I will write you a pm about the topic ahead.

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@flyingwhalee I have no idea what can be the cause and the appropriate tools for what you are experiencing with your trips. 

But I would highly recommend reading "The psychedelic experience" by Timothy Leary. It will give you a better understanding on how to guide yourself into hallucinatory phases. 

Be careful with yourself and keep researching what works. 

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@flyingwhalee  Any nightmares?

What imagery do you see, if any, on your mind's eye when you get to the hellish state?

You may be able to identify the state as a repressed memory, if you ask the subconscious some questions.

If that's the case, then recognizing it as such will help.


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This happens when you are losing your grounding with reality. I did the same thing with mushrooms and nitrous. I got cocky and kept wanting to “go deeper”. Eventually it kicked my ass and made me realize it was time to put the substances down and start developing myself without them. Be careful. It’s all fun, love and games until it’s not. If you want to maintain a normal existence it’s very difficult to do while ingesting these substances on a regular basis. 

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On 10/24/2022 at 2:37 AM, flyingwhalee said:

LSD has been a very useful chemical to me for the past 3 years. I grew a lot, and working with it in a non-dual context allowed for beautiful awakenings and spectacular God realizations I will forever cherish the memory of.

It seems like I cannot use it anymore. My 3 to 4 last trips were horrific. I lack the words to describe how hellish they become. It goes like this:

- I meditate like I always use to for the duration of the come up (1h). The familiar Lysergamide very energetic body load takes place. I place my awareness on itself, going deeper along with the feeling of existential love growing.

- In a matter of a few minutes, everything goes very bad. Heart starts racing, all the love turns into extreme despair. It's not just panic. Multiply this by infinity. Everything in me is convinced this is the end. In fact, it's far worse than death: it's the end of every joy, love, hope. It's just like reality, that you used to love and recognize as yourself, turns against you in the most heartbreaking way. It's suicidal.

I used to think that this was result of consuming Nbomes. I wish this theory was true, it is not. It happened again today with a light 150 AL-LAD, that I tested.

At this point, I think the problem is in my brain chemistry. I have no idea if this is a Lysergamide problem only. I was planning on working with 5-Meo-DMT in a few weeks, needless to say I got cold feet. 

Does this ring a bell to anybody ? It's hard to imagine this is a me problem only.

Lsd is grade-school. The Dmt's proceed graduate school. 

Lsd(for me) = twitching of the body, heavy prana-like body load, electric zaps - even following 15 properly executed chelation rounds. 

Edited by Aiwass

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Take a non-man-made psychedelic to recalibrate and reintegrate what LSD have done.

Experiment around, contemplate and then re-take LSD. 

Recommendations: mushrooms, DMT, Ayahuasca, LSA. 

 

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I recommend reading "LSD and the Mind of the Universe: Diamonds from Heaven" by  Christopher M. Bache. 

Reading about the experiences he had made me shiver. 

Maybe these experiences are part of your journey to God. Or maybe there actually is another reason why they turned out so dark. 

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On 1/16/2023 at 9:57 PM, Pudgey said:

Take a non-man-made psychedelic to recalibrate and reintegrate what LSD have done.

Experiment around, contemplate and then re-take LSD. 

Recommendations: mushrooms, DMT, Ayahuasca, LSA. 

 

2nd this

*except Lsa, I have no personal experience

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Locked for necroposting


"God is not a conclusion, it is a sudden revelation. When you see a rose it is not that you go through a logical solipsism, 'This is a rose, and roses are beautiful, so this must be beautiful.' The moment you see it, the head stops spinning thoughts. On the contrary, your heart starts beating faster. It is something totally different from the idea of truth." -Osho

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