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About kamwalker

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  1. Yeah it served me well for many years, but I don't plan on doing it ever again
  2. Leo does not seem restrained by the same things that keep most people grounded. From what we can tell he does not have a boss he needs to answer to, he doesn’t care if his parents think he’s crazy, he didnt seem to have close personal relationships that would be damaged by what he does. When you eliminate so many attachments I feel it’s easier to allow yourself to get sucked down the rabbit hole. Most of us don’t go as deep as he does. So I have no idea if he’s spewing insanity at this point. Anything can seem like insanity until you experience it for yourself. I think he’s playing with a part of reality that can push you into mania and he’s okay with that. But not a good idea for 99.9% of the people here
  3. I have no idea who these people are but I like Lex so I watched some of it. So the guy sits at home and streams while she bangs other guys and then comes home to him?
  4. Yeah if that was the full truth of reality I think I would lose my shit. Problem is I’m too afraid to push past that at this point in my life, but it’s where I keep ending up when I trip now. Maybe a 5-Meo dose in the distant future is the next step…
  5. I think I'm done for now lol Thank you. That sounds very similar to what I felt. It's like I will be sitting there doing the nitrous and then I will gradually do more until I keep shrinking reality more and more and then I'm like "wait why am I doing more? what feeling am I searching for? Ohhhhhh now I remember....Oh FUCK I did it again". This is where the fear becomes too much and then I have to stop. But you're right in that there is something telling me this is exactly where I'm supposed to push past the fear. I will say the more I do it the less scary it becomes. But I don't think I have any desire to go back there for a very long time. My grip will reality feels unstable afterwards and I'm too attached to my current life to keep this going.
  6. Yeah I'm well aware of the negatives of nitrous. But I'm more interested if there is anyone here who can relate to the experiences I've had
  7. So the last few times I've done shrooms+nos I have experienced the same thing. Even on small doses of shrooms and nos. It happens EVERY TIME if I give it enough time. I essentially get to a point where I become conscious of being this infinite singularity repeating itself forever I don't need to say anything else. That's all it is. It's absolutely horrifying. The only thing that keeps me sane is knowing I will come back to my finite form I don't know how many people here can understand this, but if you do. Where do I go from here? Because my current solution is to stop doing this drug combination forever. I am not experiencing the infinite love that everyone talks about. I'm experiencing a lot of fear. I am horribly afraid of what that thing is and what it means for my ego. Am I going insane? Or do I need to just embrace whatever the fuck that is?
  8. I feel like he had some awakenings into God and his ego just corrupted what he experienced.
  9. I don’t game a lot, but this series was truly incredible. I even played them multiple times! It’s just so perfect in regards to story, gameplay, and the acting.
  10. The mistake you're making there is assuming someone needs to be "spiritual" in order to have spiritual insights or fit some sort of description of it. Someone struggling with addiction literally has no bearing on how "conscious" I view them. Mike Tyson was about as far from spiritual as you can get. Everyone has different insights they can share based on their experiences in life and that's how you learn about it.
  11. How would you know that? Dude literally died and came back to life.
  12. I agree a lot with those words lately after my last mushroom trip. I feel like anyone expecting that it's all perpetual bliss will be very mistaken. Enjoy the human life you have right now. You might not realize how good you have it.
  13. Are you basically just using Leo the human as a vessel to see how exactly what consciousness is capable of at this point?
  14. I feel sorry for the kid in that video, I'm glad he was able to find something to ground himself. However he clearly states he felt mentally ill and still watched Leo's videos despite the disclaimers. There is definitely a fine line you feel like you have to ride when contemplating life seriously. There have been plenty of moments I have questioned my sanity throughout this process. But I feel like that's actually normal and a part of growing through life. When you experience something new it can be scary and you have to adapt to it. New does not have to mean bad. People get solidified in a way of seeing the world and they never break out of that their whole life simply due to fear. Ultimately you just have to do whatever gives you a good life. I still have healthy family and friend relationships, a job that I mostly feel good about, try to live consciously. If I felt like my spiritual practice was causing me to lose my grip with reality to the point that I was sabotaging any of those things I would have to take a step back and re-evaluate.
  15. Foreplay and maintaining presence