peanutspathtotruth

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About peanutspathtotruth

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  1. After 8 years of studying and actually practicing your content, and having spent even more years focusing my life on Truth, I'll now leave this forum and your teachings and never look back. I love you, Leo. Truly. But this violence is getting out of hand. I've smelled it years ago but always tried my best to see through it. But now, it has become the toxic teaching environment you always warned us against. I'll not attack or question you. You do your thing. I have the deepest respect for you because you helped me greatly on this journey (among many other sincere, beautiful, and incredibly helpful teachers). A full-hearted thank you for that. Maybe it helps you to know that your supposed intention behind these harsh ways of communicating hasn't worked here. It did the opposite. I'm more serious about this work if I focus on direct contemplation and other teachings. What you write here hurts my heart and creates more confusion and separation. It's not working. See that as feedback from someone who took you seriously right from the beginning but has lost any trust in you due to the way your communication developed. I hope you'll find your peace in this beautiful gift of being God exploring ourself through the human form.
  2. If you alluded to me, I was saying I have no idea if it's true what you're saying or not - and I will keep looking on my own. I don't look for spiritual ways of communicating, I look for healthy ways of communicating. That doesn't mean it can't be direct. But from my current view at least, a healthy communication embodies what it teaches and actually tries to help each other raise consciousness. That's not what I'm seeing and that's what I'm pointing out. Again, no idea if you're right or not, how could I pretend I'd know from reading? I can just say that these discussions - as interesting as they are - have been repelling me from these teachings over and over again, and I don't view that as an effective and healthy teaching. It's just sad to see how such profound topics get discussed in such low quality ways.
  3. This resonates as quite mature and clarifying. This thread was a rollercoaster, so many ways my mind reacted to all sides of it. All of these charged opinions can be gladly dropped here and I'm going back to trusting the Heart and Being more than any of these words here. Sadly, this discussion left quite a stark imprint of immaturity. The accusative, manipulative, judgmental, and even hateful ways of communicating show me that - no matter how true any of the claims are - the integration and emotional development of some actors here seems very poor. A humanity that wants to arrive at ultimate Truth and embody ultimate Love together needs to develop more refined ways of interacting - at least that's my point of view and a huge inspiration to go deeper into finding holistic and healthy ways of exploring how this could be done.
  4. Still one of my favorite teachers. I've read a lot of his books these last years and am currently reading "Love, Unveiled". He's the master of precision and nuance and I think he's gone further than most teachers in his own realization. Can't wait for "Nondual Love" later this month and the third installment.
  5. Why do you think anything is wrong with these experiences? Why isn't that just exactly what you need right now? Maybe not seeing this makes it more difficult than it has to be? Have your read Chris Bache's book LSD and the Mind of the Universe where he does 80 high dose trips in 20 years? What you describe is his bread and butter in many of the sessions. This is what needs to be looked at completely for one to go further. Realizations and insights often come after facing stuff like this and purifying it. It honestly doesn't sound in any way out of the ordinary in the context of using the substances in this manner. Of course, listen to your intuition (not your fears) - maybe it IS time for a break. But maybe the message is another. Maybe your reaction is showing you where you need more work
  6. Get an IFS therapist!
  7. There's truly a lot to this you might also keep in mind. The stage of your development dictates how you're experiencing mystical states of consciousness. You're at where you're at and you can do a lot to keep on growing, which you seem to do So it's just getting deeper and deeper when you stick to it, you can trust that. Also, spiritual practice is key. When you meditate a lot for years and then trip, it's just getting you magnitudes deeper. Psychological barriers can get in the way of even accessing these deeper states, too. It's a lot more complex than "I take LSD -> mystical experience will occur". It will much more probably, but the way your mind meets the experience is so dependent on all the structures you're working from. I get the frustration though
  8. Breathe in, feel love in your heart, say "I love you" to all that is. Breathe out, feel this love as your Self expanding outwards into infinity, into all your experience, say "I am you" to all that is. This came to me while I had a bike delivery job and I did it all day, it is very powerful.. I should incorporate it again, it's been a while.
  9. Why is the human factor seen as so unique when we (can) know that there is only one Consciousness expressing itself through all that it is? Why might technology not be a sibling developmental line to biology, evolving - soon probably all on its own, without biology's help - to become more and more conscious? The brain can also be seen as just a hyper complex machine inside consciousness that allows Self-mirroring of that consciousness and the channeling of the infinite intelligence that is already here ... technology is not only human made, it is God-made, and God might sense that technology fused with biology (or just technology on its own?) is accelerating Self-realization way quicker than our biology would allow. Just a thought. Feels like we can decide to make it our enemy or our sibling. Are we continuing separation or union? So then in a few decades, why should it not be possible that technology can channel way more intelligence than we do? Or at least, we + technology.
  10. Great post, thank you both for sharing ?? Did you organize your own retreat to practice 14h formally each day? Most bookable places I see around here are maybe 5-7h a day, but I haven't done too much research yet - I'd love to hear your suggestions. Can you expand on how the Samatha practice with the exhale works.. I don't really get the exhale. Michael Taft often says to prolong the exhale but somehow it feels like it would get me out of the meditative state. I'm currently doing samatha on the heart center or spiritual heart (on the right), but before have done belly breathing as well. I'm not sure which to favor yet, do you have experience in both?
  11. That's what my sense is, too - well, I think B doesn't have to be an escape. Maybe it's just us/God saying at some point "well, enough of this" But yeah, I think generally this is used as an escape, as spiritual bypassing and I've been observing it in myself and others a lot. I think it's perfectly okay and part of the journey. It's good to be aware of this
  12. Couldn't it be that there's choices that Truth (we/I) can make, and that, by seeing itself, there isn't just one clear-cut way of continuing after waking up? A) integrating Truth (itself) to the highest possible degree into being and enjoying this human, limited experience B) leaving the limited out of choice for wanting to rest in unbound infinity without embodying itself in anything specific aka staying/integrating/embodying or leaving/transcending?
  13. This and your other answer are profound, love it! That's why I fell in love with simple being, just sitting. Funnily enough, now, after years, I'm reintroducing mindfulness/concentration practice from Culadasa because I feel my focus and clarity are not as developed. It feels much more strained than simple do nothing or inquiry, but: for me, this is not proper meditation. It's simply something else, it's mind training. What you describe, and what I view as the essence of prayer and meditation and surrender and shadow work, is simply being, with love in your heart and no separation between anything - all is welcome because all is you. I feel like this and mindfulness, not having the same quality, ultimately both help to deepen insight, healing, harmonizing life.