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About peanutspathtotruth

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    Berlin, Germany
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  1. It's really not easy, I'm regularly struggling with a similar "conflict". To me, the only thing keeping me on track is grounding myself in truth, and letting the discipline be an embodiment of that. Think of those monks and yogis who dedicate their life to truth through Karma Yoga or decades long meditation. There might still be ego, of course, but that's not the point. As long as you're as authentically acting FROM truth, you are as present in each moment as you can be. Presence, especially in those mundane, automated actions, is the "answer"
  2. @Loba Great response! @ThaOreoBoros Drawing from experiences, I think there is also the collective side of this phenomenon. The collective, unresolved shadow, and it's huge. On some trips of mine, I seemed to "enter" this realm and was asked if I was really willing and ready to go further. Processing the pain, and accepting the dark sides of love in this collective energy, doesn't result in individual resolution. There is nothing to gain for an individual, it's the whole cleansing itself through a seeming individual. And this has its own flavor of immense beauty. This truly feels like the ultimate altruism. And out of this shadow I can imagine that energies may manifest within our perception in various ways and we interpret them as actual entities. That's what DMT can feel like at some stages. Also, I heard Shunyamurti talk about ghosts in some video, and he said that when egoic patterns are extremely dense and violent, they can energetically perpetuate even after the physical death. Who knows, but sounds interesting and somehow makes sense. So maybe it's not all our own psychological shadow.
  3. @OBEler I agree, I tried finding good therapists here in Berlin as well, it's not easy. A friend of mine found somebody who teaches with the IFS system - are you familiar with it? From what I've understood so far I think it's amazing and peeks into the transcendental area of psychology. I could ask her who that person is, it's also a Krankenkassen-Therapeut. And / or take @neutralempty 's suggestion.
  4. I think that's his view as well actually, I also mentioned it above
  5. That second point feels very true, it resonates with what I feel this constant relapse to be rooted in. I'm meditating and doing other practices for years now, and they do help, and I agree that without them it's just an escape without letting the behavior dissolve in awareness/love. Love truly is the best remedy I found for any kind of behavior
  6. This is amazing! Interesting perspective ๐Ÿ’Ž That's what came to my mind first thing when I read the title. Not sure if I remember correctly but didn't he also say that the freedom the male energy looks for ultimately turns into love as well? So yes, they are both facets of the same, but somehow the ultimate surrender of both energies leaves only love. Almaas said something similar in "Facets of Unity". He describes multiple facets of Reality, like freedom, truth, love, perfection, origin etc. - but in the end, love is the most central, the most fundamental facet that shines in all of the other ones.
  7. @OBEler You're a champ for openly asking help and being open about all this. I hate to ask this but: how much of these things came from her intrinsic wish to work on herself, and how much came from you? This leads to the question: is she actively looking into herself without outside "force"? Guidance is beautiful, but we can't help someone if they don't really understand that they are responsible for their own healing. I'm genuinely asking, I'm not implying anything - I don't know your situation obviously. I ask because I have seen such a dynamic not working out for myself or friends trying to help others. This out of the way: is she reading books about shadow work, trauma, and healing? I feel like understanding, and a connection with the subconscious are the most important thing. Something has to "click". And also, having that life purpose is so important. Inspiration could be what she needs, like positive stories of successful, healthy, balanced musicians. Documentaries, movies etc. Maybe that gives her the spark. I think art is one of the most powerful ways of healing oneself. I wish her all the strength and love she can take to keep going! You probably know that already, and I mean that in the kindest way: please don't burden yourself with (too much) responsibility for someone else. You're doing your best - anything else is out of your control. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ
  8. @Axiomatic Women or men who lean more into their feminine energy are usually more in touch with their emotions, and at the same time embody their feelings more fully than those beings who lean more into their masculine energy. The result is: if he/she is angry, you will know. They don't hide it, which I personally find a nice thing. It is when this is combined with egoistic patterns that this turns into projection, which can lead to the "I'm gonna make you all drown with me - if I don't have fun, nobody should" attitude. But as other said - this can just as well happen with more masculine people, but there the emotion tends to be less embodied and more suppressed or rationalized. In the end, it's all just different patterns of the two different energies. There are tendencies, you have a point there. But the way you express it can quickly feel like pointing fingers and generalizing, so I can also see how this could feel offensive to others.
  9. I'm currently reading "Intimate Communion" form David Deida and it tackles this question from an interesting perspective, maybe it is helpful for you: He divides what we understand as "love" into three categories: LOVE, ROMANCE, SEXUAL POLARITY LOVE Love is universal, it is our essence. You can love anything, everything, any and every person, "object", animal, the whole of it, yourself. It's your being. When that is what you talk about in your post, then I would say (from my own clear experience) that no, of course there is no need for an outside agency (in the relative sense) to give that to you. How could anyone give you what you are? They could only show you what you're not seeing. ROMANCE David defines romance as the feeling of falling in love with someone who you feel like you've known forever. It feels like this person will give you all you could ever want or need. He says that this is because we actually have known this person for a long time - it's a projection of one of our parents. And that's why, at some point when the magic dissolves, there is a switch: suddenly you feel the person is the exact opposite of what you took them to be. We look for what we didn't get in our childhood, and these relationships fail most of the time. So that is where dependency happens. SEXUAL POLARITY Happens when the feminine and masculine meet (in terms of energy). It doesn't necessitate romance or love, it's just a tension that wants to dance. This happens regardless of wanting to be in a relationship, it's a natural force. Most importantly, this polarity is the most important ingredient for a relationship. This is where you can take it deep, by creating and holding that polarity and developing it in a spiritual communion. But again - this has nothing to do with someone giving you love. The pinnacle of that polarity is for both partners to completely dissolve into love through the communion. It's a path, a tool. And there are other paths and tools as well. No need, just possibility.
  10. I tried a lot of things to motivate myself to live for a "great vision", to work towards something amazing - which means to work towards goals. I gave it all a shot, the affirmations, visualizations etc. But every time the focus was on the materiality, the outward journey, I felt dishonest to what I know my heart really feels. The only thing that "works" for me now to get up and work on something external, is the ultimate internal orientation: My affirmations are prayers, in the sense that I either serve what is true, or - when I know what I truly am - to be and stand as that Truth. In other words: Internal purpose fuels external purpose. When I'm honest, there is only one thing I really want, and when I say "I", I don't mean the bundle of thoughts that's identified with itself and the body. And that thing I truly want is to give room for Truth to express itself. There is definitely a layer of spiritual ego involved, but what I find is that it is outshone by the light it invokes. And that puts me in a kind of trance which leads me to just be that vessel of Truth. I know it may sound weird. But that's the only thing that feels completely true and makes me cry. It truly feels like prayer.
  11. If I had to summarize what this whole journey feels like to revolve around, that's exactly what I would say - authenticity, maturity, clarity (as in: seeing what is actual). Haha don't forget that what you sense is your true Self, others just point it out to you. There is no up or down and you are exactly where you need to be right this moment! We all learn from each other and that's a beautiful thing Yes I feel this is what it all points back to - the source of actions. And even if it's ultimately the same place, on a human level there is a difference between a hurt, scared, conditioned mind and a clear, translucent, brilliant mind that is hardly filtering the light of what we are. The former may appear as behaviour such as people pleasing, isolation, addiction etc.
  12. In a sense, yes, when one is too strongly wired to crave approval, it's hard to "confidently be a good person", which to me means nothing else but being oneself authentically. On the other hand, it's not always either-or, authenticity helps dissolving old patterns, and dissolving old patterns helps seeing the authenticity within. Very true ๐Ÿ™ Seeing the correlation in both directions.
  13. Exactly, your only real "choice" is awareness of what is going on. It's very interesting when you see how layered it all really is: There is resistance, then there is resistance against the first resistance, which feels like "damn, why do I resist? I should feel at peace", and another layer that resists that resistance, and on and on it goes. It's actually a bit funny when you see the loopy nature of it all. At any point, you can "step out", by just not resisting any further. That's all you can really do, and even that is not an action. It is, as you rightly said, and observation. It unfolds naturally all the layers of resistance. You got this
  14. @Barbara ๐Ÿ™
  15. Honestly, a bit of every of these things. It's something I cut out of my life many years ago. Besides this forum and Signal/Telegram, there's no social media I use. I have no strong opinion on it, but for me it's improved my life drastically to just don't enter this game. Same. It's an on-off thing for me, I take long breaks when I feel it's more distraction than inspiration. It's a one of a kind forum with people who take the time and energy to learn about extremely deep and beautiful topics. It feels like a virtual philosophy garden (sometimes rather like a zoo though ๐Ÿฆง) where you can listen to different conversations here and there and just join in to learn more or share something. I see myself coming back especially when I want to dive deep into some questions and want to hear what others think about it. Or just getting inspired