Austin Actualizing

Girlfriend is Very Attracted to Rock Star. Concert this Month

33 posts in this topic

I'm in a great relationship with my girlfriend. She loves me very much and is very attracted to me. When we first started dating she told me about this musician she was very attracted to and said jokingly that "he wouldn't count". She was obsessed with him as a teenager, had posters of him, bought all his CD's, and cried when she found out he got married. When I was at a family gathering with her she said that she "still loved him". Later on, we talked about it and she clarified she wasn't actually in love with him, but is just attracted to him. During the Superbowl she said she is rooting for this team because it's the musician's favorite team etc.

Anyways, I got her tickets to see the band he's in for Christmas and the concert is this month. She said she knows she will cry during the concert and I know she will be super starry-eyed staring at him and dancing like crazy. I understand that it is just a celebrity crush and it shouldn't bother me but it is just hard to imagine being there in person watching her drool over this guy. I just want her to have fun and I know she loves music and concerts are her favorite thing so I will still support her and go with her. It's just hard to have no jealousy in the situation. I spent quite a bit of money on these tickets and I just want to enjoy myself and not feel really jealous. Is it wrong for this to bother me at all? Let me know your thoughts, thanks! 

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Good that you can admit when you are jealous.

It may help you to tell your girlfriend how you feel, with no expectation of her to change her behavior (as this is about you, not her).

If you think you'll ruin her time at the concert with your jealous behavior, you may want to consider skipping out.

By all means, don't make her feel bad about who she's attracted to .. true love is deeper than any celebrity crush.

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@Terell Kirby I know that it is normal to find another person attractive. This situation is just challenging because it is being rubbed in my face so to speak for hours. I will still go to it. Yes, we have a very deep connection and her attraction to this guy is more of a fantasy. I really wish it didn't bother me at all, but it does. 

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17 minutes ago, Austin Actualizing said:

I really wish it didn't bother me at all, but it does. 

Unfortunately, it’s most likely due to a deeper feeling that you have of being undeserving of the relationship you have with your girlfriend (insecurity). The root of this is a low self esteem. You have to look at things for what they are before you can begin changing them. 

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She’s in love with a character.  Keep that in mind.  Musicians fall into this weird limbo area of a character from a movie and a real life person.  

If she would act this way about a guy friend of yours or someone she knows at work, etc then that’s a whole nother story.

Just let her have fun and see it as like someone fan girling about like Batman in a sense.  You may even come to enjoy this concert and see what she sees! 
 

 

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You already know the answer bro. Just pray to the gods.

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I would be jealous, too. I would consider it abnormal to be indifferent. Your girlfriend is yours only, she belongs to you only, so you should feel and act like that. It's instinctual.

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Posted (edited)

Become the "rockstar" in your own way/in accordance to your path/life purpose. 

Edited by puporing

You are Me, we are One. Truth is Love. Truth is Beauty. Every frame is a painting. ❣ Nothing but Love. How do I even explain myself to you? ;)

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Posted (edited)

Would a girl tolerate if her boyfriend was drooling over some hot celebrity model day in day out? 

I know that girls would easily break up with the guy, jealous or not jealous. 

Let's not be sexist here. 

If you feel jealous, validate those emotions instead of guilting yourself. 

If I were in your position, I would have never put up being the side guy. Like fuck it. There are better girls who respect their guy. 

I mean this is not some ordinary celebrity crush of simply having posters and listening to their music, it goes way beyond that and it's obviously hurtful behavior.

I also had crushes. But I never outrightly rubbed it into my boyfriend's face or expect him to put up with a full load of it. I didn't take my boyfriends so much for granted. 

You sure you won't find a better girl. 

And that lack of self confidence is on you. 

I hate it when people encourage a guy to simply put up with a woman's bullshit in a relationship (call it feminism lol). Blatant sexism. 

Put your foot down or keep dealing with girls who give you a shitty treatment for simping them. Choice is yours 

Mind you. These same girls will dump you when their job is done. Then you will come crying home regretting everything you did for them.. Don't encourage this guy to act like a sucker. Man up 

 

Edited by Preety_India

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7 hours ago, Austin Actualizing said:

When we first started dating she told me about this musician she was very attracted to and said jokingly that "he wouldn't count".

Ehm...?

I mean, what can I tell you. There are some stories of women who actually did cheat on their bf with their celebrity crush - but at the same time, we cannot generalize behaviour of all women, based on examples of few weirdos/crazies. But we also cannot completely exclude the possibility - women in general are attracted to status, so there's that.

I don't think you should be obsesivelly thinking about this, or use it as a reason to break up, or anything like that - as the chance of it actually happening is fairly low.

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8 minutes ago, Knowledge Hoarder said:

Ehm...?

I mean, what can I tell you. There are some stories of women who actually did cheat on their bf with their celebrity crush - but at the same time, we cannot generalize behaviour of all women, based on examples of few weirdos/crazies. But we also cannot completely exclude the possibility - women in general are attracted to status, so there's that.

I don't think you should be obsesivelly thinking about this, or use it as a reason to break up, or anything like that - as the chance of it actually happening is fairly low.

There's something known as emotional cheating. Research about it and how it impacts the psyche. Cheating is not always physical. 

Sometimes you could be fucking your woman meanwhile she is dreaming of being fucked by your neighbor. 

 

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Act quickly this is critical for the survival of your relationship*

Find someone online who can make you a realistic skin-mask of the guy's face ya know like so you look like him... then after the show role-play with her-be like "hey, i saw you dancing, why don't you come out with us, we are gonna get some drinks" then after couple drinks tell her you are about to head back your place n if she wants to come. on the way home hum/sing softly some of ur biggest hit loves songs to her n slide ur hand onto her knee..oh but i have boyfriend......what u mean....????? wtf?? I'm so-n-so u can't say no to meee!!!! pulls over* AHH NO STOP STOP I HAVE BOYFRIEND HELP HELP. u com in out of nowhere AHHH GET OFF HER (you're gonna have to man up for this) punch yourself in face* rip off mask* huffing and puffing* intense eye contact with girl* oh baby- pick her up over shoulder walk into home with her throw on bed. Don't ever go into danger like that again...passionate love with spanking in middle to show dominance* ahhh my hero.....*end

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1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

There's something known as emotional cheating. Research about it and how it impacts the psyche. Cheating is not always physical. 

Sometimes you could be fucking your woman meanwhile she is dreaming of being fucked by your neighbor. 

 

That's true. Well in that case, I'd try to change myself/analyze what I'm doing wrong, and then break up.

However, from what OP is describing, it doesn't seem THAT serious - though honestly, I would consider that "he's an exception" statement a red flag, and I wouldn't be messing with her in the first place - maybe as a one night stand if that would be possible, but nothing more.

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I mean everyone has celeb crushes. But it’s quite disrespectful to rub it in your significant others face like that

I remember me and my ex used to joke about what celebs we each found attractive, but it was done in a tongue and cheek humorous way and it was mutual

 

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1 hour ago, John Paul said:

Act quickly this is critical for the survival of your relationship*

Find someone online who can make you a realistic skin-mask of the guy's face ya know like so you look like him... then after the show role-play with her-be like "hey, i saw you dancing, why don't you come out with us, we are gonna get some drinks" then after couple drinks tell her you are about to head back your place n if she wants to come. on the way home hum/sing softly some of ur biggest hit loves songs to her n slide ur hand onto her knee..oh but i have boyfriend......what u mean....????? wtf?? I'm so-n-so u can't say no to meee!!!! pulls over* AHH NO STOP STOP I HAVE BOYFRIEND HELP HELP. u com in out of nowhere AHHH GET OFF HER (you're gonna have to man up for this) punch yourself in face* rip off mask* huffing and puffing* intense eye contact with girl* oh baby- pick her up over shoulder walk into home with her throw on bed. Don't ever go into danger like that again...passionate love with spanking in middle to show dominance* ahhh my hero.....*end

????

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Very normal. 

Is actually alright for you to like the rock star. Much better than having her sleeping with someone behind your back.

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Jealousy is wrongly demonized and avoided. Bring in curiosity when it arises, and directly feel the sensations in the body. The gift in jealousy is that we see clearly what we want, and it is always very helpful to know what we want, it's the very direction we seek. However when we make people bad or wrong for "making us" feel that way for having something we don't, we don't feel good. If we would listen to feeling directly, we would appreciate the gift jealousy is in showing to us what is is we want from life. By the way, such a sweet thing you did for her, really. ❤

It's likely that he represents for her some kind of dream or desire for authenticity, expression, living life fully, and she equates this with attraction because this is how we normally think of attraction. Again just like when we don't make jealousy about what the other person has that we don't, when we no longer make attraction about what someone else has that we don't, we can understand it more clearly. Hope you have a blast, it should be an energizing, amazing experience for you both. 


My Youtube Channel- Light on Earth “We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows.”― Robert Frost

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