John Paul

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About John Paul

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  1. I have nothing practical but: just keep writing. Write for joy. Team up with individuals whose LP/domain of mastery is marketing or website design or social media- go and find these people, ones with high integrity- believe they exist. Keep writing. Practice, practice, practice
  2. You’re being dramatic bro. Go take a piece of mushrooms, remember god is always there for you, it’s you who left god. Give EVERYTHING to your work, nothing held back, if you already perceive your life as over what have you got to lose? Fucking send it as an artist till the bitter fucking end. I’d bet my whole bank (like 200$ Rn) that you make it. Love ya bro
  3. Part of the LPC was the negative values, remember? “Success/Validation”, “Money”, “Recognition…” “Title…” what are you willing to sacrifice for mastery? Living in a van, abstaining from starting a family, living off tips, eating/dressing simply..? I’m in your same boat bro, idk.
  4. I did a water fast recently. After I broke fast, the carbs in my meals quickly increased each meal throughout the day. I felt compulsive and then the next morning I felt more irritable/insecure and less powerful, calm and focused. I can now clearly see how much physical power carbs puts into my body more than I realized previously. Like… with the amount of carbs I’d eat compulsively, in order to stay in a calm state with the level of consciousness/order of life I’m at, I’d need to be like perpetually jogging/working out/fucking girls…. I don’t have the time and resources to actually do this obviously. The imbalance it causes is real and I could see how it effects my ability to rest. There is other health problems, hopefully just nutrition imbalances/social issues, I know because I feel the need to rest often. It’s like i need to rest because of some unknown health problem but can’t because of my carb consumption; and I can’t really stop to think about anything clearly if I surrender to the addiction. I’m going to do another fast next week, this time when i break fast I will have almost no carbs and see what happens. im curious how many people get labeled with a mental health issue diagnosis when it’s something to do with their relationships with carbs, rest, and exercise… like… this is crazy. If I continue to feel as calm on no/low carb as I do while fasted yet I have energy it will be a real miracle for me personally and I’d love to try a psychedelic asap if that was the case.
  5. It’s learning about life as a whole, your life. And zooming in and studying all of the little topics in life too.
  6. Start measuring your life-performance by how often you listen to your heart, your personal sense of integrity, rather than what status society gives you. The latter is 100% SHIT.
  7. You can’t think your way into right action. But you can act your way into right thinking.
  8. @Leo Gura i saw u recommend extended water fast for cancer cure. I want to try this for my spirit even though I have no diagnosis. what type of water, and u take anything besides water/why? for liver cleanse you like the olive oil mixed with grapefruit juice at night and morning saltwater lax?
  9. Long long time ago, I can still remember How that music used to make me smile And I knew if I had my chance That I could make those people dance And maybe they'd be happy for a while But February made me shiver With every paper I'd deliver Bad news on the doorstep I couldn't take one more step I can't remember if I cried When I read about his widowed bride But something touched me deep inside The day the music died So bye-bye, Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee But the levee was dry Them good old boys were drinking whiskey and rye Singing, "This'll be the day that I die" This will be the day that I die Did you write the Book of Love? And do you have faith in God above? If the Bible tells you so Do you believe in rock 'n' roll? Can music save your mortal soul? And can you teach me how to dance real slow? Well I know that you're in love with him 'Cause I saw you dancing in the gym You both kicked off your shoes Then I dig those rhythm and blues I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck With a pink carnation and a pickup truck But I knew I was out of luck The day the music died I started singing bye-bye, Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee But the levee was dry Them good old boys were drinking whiskey and rye Singing, "This'll be the day that I die" This will be the day that I die Now for ten years we've been on our own And moss grows fat on a rolling stone But that's not how it used to be When the jester sang for the King and Queen In a coat he borrowed from James Dean And a voice that came from you and me Oh and while the King was looking down The jester stole his thorny crown The courtroom was adjourned No verdict was returned And while Lenin read a book of Marx The Quartet practiced in the park And we sang dirges in the dark The day the music died We were singing, bye-bye Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee But the levee was dry Them good old boys were drinking whiskey and rye Singing, "This'll be the day that I die" This will be the day that I die Helter skelter in the summer swelter The birds flew off with a fallout shelter Eight miles high and falling fast It landed foul on the grass, the players tried for a forward pass With the jester on the sidelines in a cast Now the halftime air was sweet perfume While the sergeants played a marching tune We all got up to dance Oh, but we never got the chance 'Cause the players tried to take the field The marching band refused to yield Do you recall what was revealed The day the music died? We started singing bye-bye, Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry Them good old boys were drinking whiskey and rye And singing, "This'll be the day that I die" This will be the day that I die Oh, and there we were all in one place A generation lost in space With no time left to start again So come on, Jack be nimble, Jack be quick Jack Flash sat on a candlestick 'Cause fire is the devil's only friend Oh, and as I watched him on the stage My hands were clenched in fists of rage No angel born in Hell Could break that Satan's spell And as the flames climbed high into the night To light the sacrificial rite I saw Satan laughing with delight The day the music died He was singing bye-bye, Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry Them good old boys were drinking whiskey and rye And singing, "This'll be the day that I die" This will be the day that I die I met a girl who sang the blues And I asked her for some happy news But she just smiled and turned away I went down to the sacred store Where I'd heard the music years before But the man there said the music wouldn't play And in the streets, the children screamed The lovers cried and the poets dreamed But not a word was spoken The church bells all were broken And the three men I admire most The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost They caught the last train for the coast The day the music died And they were singing bye-bye, Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry And them good old boys were drinking whiskey and rye Singing, "This'll be the day that I die" This will be the day that I die They were singing bye-bye, Miss American Pie Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry Them good old boys were drinking whiskey and rye Singing, "This'll be the day that I die"
  10. Here are the elements I’m struggling with and some issues that are also obstacles: confrontation, boundaries authority, hierarchy, power/ego co-dependency- fantasy, expectations, obligations (people-pleasing)-energy transactions paranoia delusions, “trust” I broke it into four separate elements, idk where to start and I feel overwhelmed by these issues. Sometimes I wonder who I am now.. but I’m pretty sure it’d be easy and happy for me if I could just make these obstacles disappear or diminish them; then I’d just be myself and fine tune it, get solid and consistent in it. I think that the confrontation issue can be paired with tackling the authority issue, they share some elements I think. And the same for confrontation/boundaries and codependency. But I don’t know where to start and the best resources to give a solid try to. If I had more faith I think I really would give it a try using some sort of resource or tool but right now I’m just feeling overwhelmed by them and don’t know who to turn to with this- largely due to the paranoia element. I do not feel like these issues can get autocorrected by going out, it’s not that kind of problem I think… I can easily talk and sometimes even identify as likable but the emotion is getting heavy now and it ruins everything. I know I can hit it off with new people but never get the chance to have meaningful relationships due to these elements I believe. I do know that I need to meet new people-better people for where I’m specifically at right now and high integrity people, that’s a thing but separate from this post-i think.. please help (not sure if this is the right forum)
  11. Today I let myself have whatever I want, drinks whatever- as long as I get some practice in. I was barely conscious but actually feel like I had a better practice. Because I gave my devilish self whatever it wanted for the trade of going 100% in practice. This is how low my discipline and emotional health are lol. I think I got close to or around two hours of practice in today and it was honestly solid. I don’t want to have bad habits but I believe in focusing on what I do want instead of don’t want, so. tomorrow im going to try to go without caffeine or the screens. I’d usually think alcohol and tobacco would be worse but since focusing on what affects my ability to practice im thinking caffeine and screens might be easier to cut out. When im watchin something or using an app, my mind is literally in the most lazy state I could imagine, it’s like dead. And im uncovering the illusion that caffeine helps- at this point it’s just a fix, but since I have smoke I think I’ll be more at ease without it. This would’ve sounded fucked when I was thinking black and white..trying to free up all my head space for practice, there’s no room for shame and dogma. life update: im working a shitty cook job. I say shitty because im not a cook even though im working as one. And there’s other little things I don’t like about it… oh and it only pays 14 per fucking hour. It’s one of my recent jobs that I quickly got rehired at after getting fired from my last job for getting high outside of that restaurant… yeah we are fuckin killin it
  12. There is literally so much thought in my mind that no post could communicate it. It’s endless mind. As long as I’m practicing and enjoying the process- the end
  13. I don’t know if any distinctions or connections were made by Leo/community between LP and spirituality but I’m definitely finding that in my day-to-day there is a connection: my laziness to pursue my LP is teaching me “epistemology”. I can more clearly than ever see the sole function(s) of the chatter, “mind”. It’s just what classic Leo and other philosophers said.. it’s funny because my mind already “knew” this but only because that meant that it belonged in circles of people that also participated in things related to philosophy/PD, and “spirituality” (the mental masturbation side of it). My mind- my whole fucking world is just a web that’s spinning itself, it’s constantly spinning in order to manipulate me into the actions that most ensure it’s safety and titillation.. it’s really sad (it says to itself to try to remove any kernel of truth from the web of mind) Where I’m at right now LP is definitely a solo journey.. because right now my LP is really coming down to my personal development of skills which is best done alone, with minimum distractions.. In this way I’d compare it to meditation. Although in the development of skills there is “learning” and in meditation there is not. Still though, any conceptual learning “should” exist only to serve actual practice- developing of the skills. Anyway, my mind (when it’s not trying to get out of practice/learning) is making a promise to itself that one day this will not be a solo journey, that when I am further along the path that it will intertwine with others. But I don’t know if it’s really true or if it will be truly satisfying the way it’s being promised. “I’m missing ________-friends, a girlfriend, community” and yet the little ounce of me that still takes life seriously and wants to work is isolating the shit out of me. For someone like me it does have to lean toward black and white. If you give my ego an inch…
  14. Since deciding to commit to mastery, my sense of a “personal struggle” has not left me. I am currently dramatizing the following obstacles to my practice of mastery: 1. Seeing how low my integrity really is. My laziness, my distractibility, my ego, my lack of commitment to my life in general- a nihilistic depressed vibration, and my still present negative values/motivation (from the LP course, highly recommend.) 2. Seeing how low the integrity of my culture, society, and environment/people around me really is…. The promotion of chasing empty, materialistic things and ridiculing, demonizing things outside of this status quo or doing pretty much anything to avoid the personal practice of mastery in our individual lives. My own low integrity is using this as a scapegoat: it’s everyone else’s low integrity, not mine- and my lazy, depressed ass just buys into it, yep that’s why my practice can’t take off how it should. And yeah, we’re still shoulding. 3. My mental health and associated self-doubt in my capability to destroy all of these demons and be the master. I don’t like the clinical stuff but I may technically have some sort of paranoia. I can’t seem to trust anyone. I create personal conspiracy theories in which I am, unrealistically, the center of the conspiracy and am being conspired against by others. I sometimes get jumpy when my self-care gets to its worse and have random, unique triggers (similar to phobia). I participate in “bad habits” to keep it short and simple. And really all of this is about avoiding certain emotions and when my repression tank is full, isolating myself. Right now I am venting into the journal forum because I feel isolated. 4. I keep telling myself I need something. It could be a legitimate need or an illegitimate need (an addiction/crutch). Or I create a decision to mull over instead of taking a right action-am I living in the right place? Working the right job? Maybe I’d have an easier time if I just landed a half-ass codependent relationship for the sex… to put it bluntly: from a third-person normie perspective, my life fucking sucks.. I got nothing. But what I got is the knowledge I’m communicating here and the promise of getting to the other side- becoming a professional, self-actualizing, paying it forward, and higher spiritual transcendence. thanks for listening, good luck with your personal practice of mastery
  15. is this legit? happy jesus holiday