Juan Cruz Giusto

Actualized.org Video Summaries!

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Just a question.. how do you intergrate all of this into your psychology? There is no way to remember all of this

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And remembering it would do you little good.

You must do the practices.

You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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8 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

And remembering it would do you little good.

You must do the practices.

Yes, but i don't see how i can intergrate it and live it. Is it repetition? 

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@Andreas Do lots of the techniques I have given you numerous times in the videos.

  • Meditation
  • Journaling
  • Reading
  • Contemplation
  • Shamanic breathing
  • Psychedelics
  • Solo retreats
  • Visualization
  • Body relaxation
  • Keeping a commonplace book
  • Etc

You must start doing that shit to get results. Seriously!

You are God. You are Love. You are Infinity. You are Leo.

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The next time Leo produce a video with 40 quotes, 

I'll do the 9/11 to his house.
I swear to the 99 virgins I'll do it :ph34r:

Spirituality is not the renunciation of life

It is the art of living fully


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The verses are taken from 


The reason is there was too much words I didn't understand to write them down :ph34r:




1) Searching For The Ox






Incessantly you brush aside thick grasses in pursuit;
The waters are wide, the mountains far, and the path leads on without end.
Sapped of strength, exhausted in spirits, knowing no longer where to search,
You only hear the sound of the evening cicadas chirping in the maple trees."


Stumbling around in life , suffering, scratching your head, hear people heard people talk about enlightenment, basically lost and clueless




There are people who lack the fire to bring light into their own future, they lapse into wishful thinking hoping someone else will provide that light for them.

Have nothing to do with this kind of thinking, you must resolve and create that light yourself, you must affirm the vow to never give up until you've become a Buddha and brought peace to this world.

All of your practice are in vain if you not make the affirmation of the vow.
We are not saved by our satori, we are saved by our affirmations of the vow that we must attain satori, attain enlightenment.


You must begin with an intense desire for the truth, renunctiation of the desire is on an another stage
When you first affirm the vow to attain  enlightenment, at that very moment there is already a splendid enlightement"

= important step

The Ox = Enlightenment


With discreminate thinking, you fall into the relative world, you jump into making comparasons, but discrimination only brings more discriminations which only brings more discriminations until finally you don't know what is what =dualistic way to think/see the world



I'm happy or I'm sad, I win I loose, that was good this was bad, these are the flames of discriminations which blaze up around us like a conflagration plunging us into an all consuming discrimination which traps us no matter which way we turn.
You think to yourself " where do I find this thing called Kensho(Satori/Awakening)" in your impatience you may even start to think "who even needs this Kensho anyway" I'll take my deluded self as it is.
Everyone experience a time when he says "I can't do it, I failed" at this time especially you must not think to give up and return to your lay life, the ordinary life of delusion



A person of great talent is slow to mature, a person of great character develops slowly, enduring great suffering along the way




You will achieve nothing if you work on your Koan (all spiritual practices) only when you happen to think of it.

Your effort will result in nothing more than froth carried away in the stream, if you push on straight ahead single mindledly without break, there will be a time when suddenly you eyes opens = Gotta be persistent with the practices and intention





2) Seeing The Footprints






At the waters edge, under the trees - hoofmarks are numerous.
Balmy grasses grow abundantly - can you see them or not ?
Even if you go deeper and deeper into the mountains,
How could his nostrils, well compassing the heavens, hide him at all ?


When you have tiny glimpses, for few seconds



Despite the fact that there are so many traces of the Ox everywhere, still you haven't seen it.
This is because you are stuck in the weeds of self-delusion, it does not matter how much you seek, how much you search, always you are buried under a mountain of self-delusion chocked with weeds of mistaken thinking, with weeds of intellectualization


Stage when you conceptualize enlightenment so much taht you think you understand it.
It's a trap because it's just a story in your head, it isn't the real experiential thing.



Sometimes you hear it said that Zen monks do not have to read books or to study, where does this misleading idea starts ?
It's ridiculous that this could possibly be true, we say zen is a separate transmission outside of the scriptures  but it is only because there is a teaching that there is something transmited separate from it,
If we do not first study the sutras and ponder the record of the ancients we would end up going off in the wrong direction altogether.

The ancient teachers engage in all branches of scolarship and studied all there was to studied





In the ? Sutras it is written that daily duties and attending to work is nothing other then true reality, when we do business, or farm, or temple work, or engage in economics and politics, all of this is  buddah-dharma.

If without studying the sutras you merely sit in Zazen, and get ? Headed cause you've passed some Koans or even forbid you have satori and have permission to teach you will become a zen devil.



You will delude yourself if you don't study non-duality




If you've seen the tracks, then do not throw down your staff out of frustration and call it a quit, follow up the tracks until you've finally caught it.
So long as you do not give up the affirmation of your vow, so long as you do not break your staff with frustration, for certain you will be able to catch the Ox



100% chance of awakening if you are serious and comitted.




3) Seeing The Ox







The bush warbler sings on the branch.
The sun is warm, the breeze gentle, and the willows on the riverbank are green.
There is no place you can escape from him.
That majestic head and horns could never be painted in a picture.



First Mystical experiences

When you understand for real what all this stuff is about, you are SURE that the Ox is real now.
So beautiful and awesome that you can't looks at it in the eyes for long, you need to develop yourself just to look at it.


Still you have not really caught the Ox, you just have caught a glimpse from behind.
You still have 7 more stages to go.
To catch the Ox and tame it is no easy task, but first you must catch sight of it




One could not capture in a picture the beauty of its horns, their fine shape, to attempt to draw them would be two things when there is one.


Hard to talk about something that includes everything (the Ox) by trying to explain it with only a tiny part of it (language).



Kensho (or awakening) achieve sitting on a zazen cushion is weak inaction.
Through contact with the outside world you must also grasp the life that thrives there.
The power you've built up through Samadhi is mashed to pieces by the sounds of the outside world, it is shattered by the sights of the outside world



Salt in running water is not visible to the eye, similarly, the glue that is always mixing in the artist paint is not visible to the eye.
The eyes only sees the colors blue or green or red, in exactly the same way our Buddha nature has no shape or form.
All is the Ox, if you are looking but cannot see the Ox, that just means your mind is full of unnecessary thinking, prejudice, false knowledge and mistaken opinions.





4) Catching the Ox







You have exhausted all your faculties to take hold of him.
Because his spirit is strong and his strength abundant, it is difficult to rid him of his habits.
Sometimes he goes to the top of the high plain.
Other times he resides in clouds and smoke.



This is when you go beyond the first glimpses and embody them in your own life, and realize how difficult that is.


Just catching the Ox is not enough, you must get a tight rope on it, tame it and make it your own.

A mind of thoughts and attachments can't possibly fathom the spirit of the Ox, that is called "original face".
With your heads full of thoughts, of good and bad, pretty and ugly, even should you seek out the spirit of the Ox of Buddha nature, there is no way you would be able to recognize it if you saw it.
Don't deceive yourself into thinking that you can feed it your desires and attachments, your passion and self-delusions.
The Ox of fundamental wholeness run away at the mere smell of them, if there is even the slightest wiff of impurity the Ox won't touch the grass.
The Ox of fundamental wholeness detest even the smell of the actual, it is strictly pure, it hates the worlds of desires and attachments, passions and self-delusions and it will ??? right off to the mountains.



Can't have the full Ox if you're still full of desires and attachments.
The Ox would make all those desires and attachments feel stupid and childish, irrelevant.

You need to cleanse all your concepts about the Ox (emptying your cup) to let it approach you.



You may have caught the Ox, but it is not easy matter to break it and finally to make it your own.
It is like killing a snake, it is still twitching, your mouth is going mooo (The Ox) but your tail is still twitching.
You are not completely dead yet, so long as you do not first attain the great death, the Samadhi of mooo (The Ox), you will never catch the Ox






5) Taming The Ox







Whipping does not depart from the body at any moment.
Lest he follow his own whim, entering the dust and dirt.
If you devotedly tame him, he will be pure and gentle.
Without bridle and chains, he will follow you of his own accord.



This is the stage when you get really serious about taming the Ox, about letting it purified you.

There is a will to let go of all the egotism.



Well now, you have finally caught the Ox, but this Ox will not do what you want it to do.
That's why you have to train it and make it your own, this is what is otherwise known as post Satori practice.
Kensho or Awakening is our goal but without any follow up, Kensho amounts to nothing, you must tame that Ox which you worked so hard to catch.
For us, training and practice continue right up until we die.
The most important chapter of the Ten Ox-Herding Pictures is this one, when you sit down and shoe the cut of Satori fully appreciating its textures.




You may search the world looking for truth, but there is no truth in the world, it arises from the heart mind, when the heart mind that is looking is true, then the world also  is true.

When the heart mind that it is looking is false, then the world being looked at is also false.

What is it for you to always be true ? It is a matter of ridding yourself of thoughts.
The true state of being of the human person is no thoughts consciousness, it is no mind consciousness.
The true nature of our heart mind is like a mirror like spotless condition, unmarked even by a single thought.

The many unreal thoughts and ideas we have are images cast upon this mirror.
No matter how much you search there for truth, there is no truth there.

Our original nature is that a condition like a spotless mirror where fundamentally there is nothing.



What is really hard is having a mind with no thoughts, that is the mark of a master.




Moment to moment no mind, just advance down this path and you will be alright.
To maintain this consciousness, to proceed in moment to moment mindfulness is what is meant by taming the Ox.
This is post-Satori training, only a person who has trained and attained Satori does this kind of post Satori training.
Those who have not seen their own true nature, those who have not obtained Satori or Awakening can do nothing but stir up more unreal thoughts.
When the Ox has been tamed, though you do not use the whip or the line, it will always follow you like a well trained dog.

Though you'll forget about koans you'll always be in no-mind.

You will get so, that you will always be blank, thinking of nothing.
You must train the Ox so that you will not lose Kensho, so you will not lose Buddha nature.

It is truely a great pleasure when you know that you can always savour the world of no-mind in this way, there is no pleasure as great as this.

It is not just as a matter of one or two days spend training or taming the Ox, it is not a manner of mere 5 days sesshin, you must live in continuous concentration upon mindfulness







6) Riding the Ox Home







You mount the ox and want to make your way slowly home.
A barbarian plays the flute in the red glow of sunset.
Each measure, each tune is filled with ineffable tones.
Among true intimates, what need is there for words ?



The stage where you seriously embodied enlightenment.

Not even a need to talk about it anymore, since it's your natural way to live life.




Having liberated yourself from the realm of birth and decay, your must once again return to the world of impermanence (ordinary world).
When one attains Kensho, then on returning to the original world of impermanence, this world of impermanence becomes the world of reality.

To be right in the middle of the ceasslessly turning, just this is the pure land of serenity and nirvana.
One who refuses to return is not genuine.
In the every day world of common sense, flowers are red and willows are green, but in zazen, one destroys that world of common sense and enters a world when flowers are not red and willows are not green, but then let's not stop at this point.
Only when you've return to the world of where flowers are red and willows are green, as one really attained Truth



You bring back the mystical into the mondains.




As training the Ox proceeds, unreal thoughts fades away, the struggle between delusives passions and desires for enlightenment subsides, both delusives passions and desires about enlightnement fade away.
Samsara and Nirvana fade away.
Person and Ox fade away.

Koans and Zazen fade away.

This is truly to be immersed in Kensho.

Here you've reach the pinnacle of life.

One who says "I want this" or "I want that" or "I want to do this" or "I want to do that" is still wondering around in life's path, but when you've reached the peak there is no need to climb anymore, no need to toil and sweat anymore, you just gaze up at the sky or look down at the world below.



At this stage many enlightened people gives the advices that there is nothing to do.
This is only true at this stage.




Those who still think about getting money, making a name in society, are wandering around at  the half-waypoint.

You worry about neither seeking satori nor about extinguishing delusive passions, cutting off all thoughts  there is no one in the world you think either nice or nasty.
With the mind of no-mind you meet everyone as if for the first time, with a relaxed and expansive attitude, you casually leave everything to the Ox, so that wherever it goes you feel like home.








7) Ox Transcended







You have mounted the ox and already reached your home in the mountains.
The ox is gone and the person has nothing more to do.
Though the morning sun has already risen three bamboo lengths, he dreams on.
The whip and the halter, no longer of use, are hung up in the stall.



The stage when you have transcended the seeking of awakening and enlightenment.

You realize that everything that ever was has always been the Ox, that there was not a single moment of not being it in the first place.




 Having completed the practices you get trapped by Satori, you start saying things like "I have had Kensho, I'm not your average monk, I must have a bigger cushion, and my tea must be served in special ustensils, I have completed Zen practice so that means I can now drink, I can anything I want"

In this way, Satori makes people into its servants and stips them away of their freedom, this is what it meant by the phrase "federed by the Buddha, federed by the Dharma", this is why when you have attained Satori you must forget about Satori.
When you become a rich man, you must forget about money.
If there is any distinctions between the self that has awakened and Dharma to which the self has awakened, the awakening is not genuine.

The self and Ox are one, the Ox pictured here is only being used as a symbol, as a convenient teaching device, and the search for the Ox represents the pratices and discipline required in seeking the Dharma



There will be no distinction between anything.




In order to catch a rabbit, you must send a snare, but the object is to catch a rabbit, not to catch a snare.
When you have caught the rabbit, you no longer need the snare.

The Ox is used in the same way, as a mean to achieving awakening to Buddha nature, we created a snare called the Ox.
But once you've understood Buddha nature, you no longer need the Ox.





Once a student came to me and asked "what is the purpose of life ?" when I replied "to play" he was disappointed.
"Just to play is that it ?" he asked, and went away.

Once you've reached the last station at the end of the line , there is nothing to seek , all one does is play.

Here to have things is fine, to not have things are also fine.
To live is fine, to die is also fine.

To be happy is fine, to be sad is also fine.
If it rains that's fine, if it's shines that too is also fine.

Everyday is good, everyday is good.



 Also the stage when unconditional happiness is realized.

The reason is because you realized you've never been born, you're already dead, the worst thing that could have happened to you, already happened, so everything now is a bonus.





To penetrate right throught judgments of good and bad, isn't that your original face ?

Isn't that Buddha nature.
When the clouds of good and bad has been swept completely away, then isn't that the moon of reality shining there.

To think that the clouds represent bad, and the moon represents good is a mistake.
The clouds represent both good and bad.

When the clouds of both good and bad have been swept away, then a brilliance appears as eternal and unchanging as the gold that has been refined from the ore.




Once you've separated Satori from delusive passions then that Satori never get mixed again with mixed passions.







8) Ox and self transcendance






Whip, tether, person and ox - all are empty.
The blue sky spreads out far and wide, it cannot be communicated.

On a red-hot oven, how can there be any place for snow?
Having come this far, you understand the intention of the patriarchs



You transcend everything, you let go of everything.

True emptiness -> Infinity

You realize that everything that has happened never really happened, it's all pure emptiness/nothingness.




There is no Satori or Awakening, no Dharma to be awakened to, and no self awaken.

Here Buddha nature stands completely and totally revealed, this is the combination of practice and the completion of the discipline .
It is in other word, the perfect circle.

Perfect roundness suggest emptiness, it lacks nothing, it has nothing in excess, it is neither male or female, iether young or old, neither rich nor poor, neither learned or unlearned, neither good or bad, it is the complete just so world of Satori



All distinction collapse, all boundaries or objects, everything.

You can't even distinguish existence from non-existence anymore (life from death)

You realize the source of the universe, where it come from and where it goes, namely that it never really happened.




Those worldy feelings of needing a drink or desiring a pretty girl have long disappeared.
If you go around thinking "I have had Satori, I am enlightened", this is not really Satori or Enlightenment.
If you think "I am pure mind", then you have just ??? It
It should not be recognizable by Tom, Dick or Harry, it's still not good enough, your consciousness is the kind to inspires aww, grattitude in people, that makes people talk about you.
If this is it a disgraceful scene.

"He's a living god, a miracle has occured", if this is said about you, that's bad.
And an even uglier spectacle are those people who deceive other into saying such things.
Both the whip and the line that you've used to train the Ox have become unnecessary, Koans have become unnecessary, the person who was awakened and the Dharma to which the person has awakened have all turned into emptiness.
All have swept away, not leaving a speck of dust.
No matter what you're doing, go straight into the Samadho of Moo and die cleanly.

It is because you are still trying to hold back some breath that you fail.

You must throw your life away, then there is no self that remains, not even so much as a tip a hair worth of self remains, not even the moo that you've been working on remains, there is nothing.

There is no training hall nor Zazen, just an empty mirror ??? and polished, not even that remains.



= Fana Al-Fana

At this point you've never been born.



You must push yourself to the utmost unatained state at least once







9) Return to the source







Having come back to the origin and returned to the source, you see that you have expended efforts in vain.
What could be superior to becoming blind and deaf in this very moment?
Inside the hermitage, you do not see what is in front of the hermitage.
The water flows of itself and the flowers are naturally red.



This map is a general guideline, it's not rigid, especially if you've used psychedelics/unorthodox practices or are spiritually gifted for example.




That place where immaculate mind without thought completely identical with the universe and all of this myriads things, nothing other than this can be considered absolute ground.

Returning to this place is what is meant by return to the source.

In Zen, what do we take as the fundamental of the Universe, it is Ox and Self both transcended. Here there is neither Self or Ox, only the one perfect circle, within the perfect immaculate heart mind in which there is nothing.
There is no distinction between Self and the world, there is no intellectual obstructions or problems about the fundamental nature of the universe, its purpose or anything else.

All of your metaphysical questions have been answered.
When you have gained Satori, then the World we live in, just as it is, is the pure land, is heaven.
After Satori, is the same as before Satori



There are different depth to realize the oneness of the same thing.
Some dualities still stays untill stage 10 is "achieved"




In order to go back to the source, you had to exude yourself to the utmost.

On the outset, it looks as though you've went to of unecessary troubles, all that work for nothing, this just now, just as it is, this very moment, if this is your goal, then you didn't have to put yourself through such trials and searching for the Ox



Wherever you go or do you're already going one step too far from the present moment.

If you do nothing you're gonna be carry away by society and will forget everything about this.
If you take the path you're also wrong.

It's a paradox you're stuck.

By taking the path you'll backtrack to the source, to the step zero.







10) Re-Entering The Marketplace







Shoeless and bare-chested he enters the marketplace;
He is daubed with earth and ashes, and a smile fills his face.
Making no use of the secrets of gods and wizards,
He causes withered trees to bloom.



You're so ordinary and humble that you blend in "normal life" fully, there is nothing special about you anymore, not even an once of selfishness or ego left in you.
You don't even talk to non-duality to people.

Humility is the most genuine signal of a spiritual master.



There were too many words I didn't understand to write down the first quote of the master





He needs no shirt, he needs no title, exposing his hairy chest down to his navel, barefoot he walks the streets of town or heads for the outskirts.

Since people will be nervous if he shows that he has attained Satori, he does not reveal that he has mastered the discipline, nor does he show any trace of learning.

He just laughs, laugh like a great fool ??? with dirt and covered with ashes, that laugh, how could you describe it, he laugh so hard you think his jaw will fall off.

People who come into contact with that laugh return to their original good nature and awaken to their Buddhahood.

Though he does not preach or lecture, everyone who see the old monk face is saved.

Just by laughing and smiling he leads those who are rough on course and heart to discover the light in their lives.

He does not preach miracles, he just laughs, he just drinks with them, he just sings with them.

When you have reached this highest awaken state where the world just as it is the pure land, is heaven, where you yourself just as you are, are the Buddha, then you must throw away Satori and for the sake of those suffering in distress descend to the bottom of society, to the furthest corner of society and awaken everyone else to this pure land as well



Edited by Shin

Spirituality is not the renunciation of life

It is the art of living fully


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@Sahil Pandit Page 2 of this thread posted by Nic

We are all one spark, eyes full of wonder

“Take the lowest place, and you shall reach the highest.” 

“In the monastery of your heart, you have a temple where all Buddhas unite.” - Milarepa 

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On 10/3/2018 at 6:26 AM, Nic said:

Self-Deception part 1/2/3


“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself. And you are the easiest person to fool.” Richard Feynman

“Self deception covers it’s own track”  Daniel Goleman


Your mind is inherently self-deceptive. 

René Descartes’s saying “I think therefore I Am” means that the fact that I’m doubting means that there has to be someone who is doubting. He came to the conclusion that it was not possible to live in a matrix or that some evil demons had the power over the human’s mind, as the demon in question would still have someone to deceive.

The one thing that almost no philosopher takes seriously is that the mind is inherently a self-deception machine. The whole point of self deception is that you don’t take it seriously, otherwise it wouldn’t be a successful self-deception. Your own mind is the evil demon, the self-deception is utterly total. All there is to this game called life is self-deception within self-deception within self-deception… We don’t need science-fiction scenarios like Descartes or that the world could be a simulation, the mind has complete power over you. The number one biggest mistake in life is to believe that your own mind can be trusted. That is epistemology, how do you know that what you know is reliable.

The mind will take every opportunity to deceive you. Your mind wants to construct a reality without you being aware that you construct it. You are your own conspiracy theory. The mind can construct an unbreakable illusion that goes all the way to the existential level. When you think you are controlling it, it is actually the one that is controlling you. You don’t need to worry about other people trick you but the only way that they can trick you is because you trick yourself. 

Ask yourself: Can I trust my own mind? Am I deceiving myself? And listen carefully for the answer. The whole problem is that the process is circular.

How did something come out of nothing? How is creation possible at all? Things can come into being only through one mechanism, deception! How does God (reality) create the world? Through self-deception. Why would God need to deceive itself? God creates infinite forms through deception, . God or reality deceives itself. This one thing can take on many forms only by tricking itself into thinking that it’s limited and finite, rather than infinite. Deception becomes the mechanism of creation. Reality must deceive itself to come into existence. This is how you and the universe came into existence. You whole body and mind is made out of self-deception. At least that’s what you get if you stop thinking that reality is objective.

The greatest self-deceptions are believing that you are real, important and must survive. Descartes doubted everything but he couldn’t doubt the Self. The minds needs self-deception for creation, on top of that is build the entire web of lies that is, the rest of your life.

Consider that lies are actually much more useful than truth in many situation as the mind likes to flip everything on its head. People lie to get what they want. As long as you are alive, all your attention goes to staying alive. What if there is something beyond living and staying alive. But the mind’s job is not to keep the body alive the way people think, but to keep the idea of “you” alive. People think that the idea of you resides in the body, but the idea of is more fundamental than your body, all kind of things can happen to it, and this is the reason why people mutilate themselves for spiritual reasons, as the body is just another idea, the idea of you. The “you” is not a body, it is a conglomeration of conceptual ideas. 

Becoming a martyr is not a selfless act, it’s completely selfish, they have some idea of them where martyr-ship plays into, how they will live in the memories of there followers and fans, and live on in the afterlife is more important than staying physically alive. So surviving is not about the body, it’s about surviving the idea of you.


Self-deception is not only about enlightenment… Most of things you love in life are self-deceptions: money, wealth, ownership, security, laws & right, religion, history, movies, porn, time, language, confidence, fame, power, what’s good and bad, meaning and purpose, ideologies, science, family, corporations, nations, equality, rank status, culture, video games… 

-Ownership: a piece of paper saying that you own your house or your dog is just ridiculous

-Security: The more power you think you acquire, the more insecure you become. The most insecure people are dictators. This is why they have the biggest arsenal to begin with.

-Human rights:  There is nothing holding this laws but human consensus, an invention to make yourself more secure

-Movies, novels, porn are all virtual simulations

-Family: You have convinced yourself that there is a special connection between people based on some genetic similarity. You got to treat them in a special way, rather than the way that you treat other human beings. There is no more connection between you and your mother than between you and a coffee table as it is all one thing. There is nothing special about your family, that is just an illusion that the mind creates because it is an important component of you staying alive.

-Nations & corporations: Are both completely fabricated identities, the border of the country is an imaginary line.

-Equality, fairness: Reality is what it is, you want equality for your pragmatic agenda, so you get a better life for yourself


Even the sources of knowledge are also serving the pragmatic survival agenda.

Are corrupted by self-deception: Logic, reason, science and mathematics, philosophy, psychology and medicine, history, economics, business, personal development, religion, spirituality and non-duality. The process of talking about self-deceptions is itself riddled in self-deceptions.

You actually don’t want the truth, you want to be wrapped up in the illusion, knowledge itself is part of the self-deception.

There are 2 types of knowledge: Conventional knowledge what you get from school and university. That is not too dangerous for the mind… And then there is self-knowledge, the meta knowledge, about the mechanism of how knowledge works, epistemology. The mind is careful to withhold all meta-knowledge from you, the mechanism of knowledge itself.

Society is an entire self-deception.


What are the evidence that self-deception is real?

-You have double standards, you criticize others but not yourself for example, for cutting people off in traffic, you don’t insult yourself when you do it 

-Have you also noticed that people believe a lot of crazy stuff in the world, they are all crazy, or self deceived but you. You notice that in others but not in yourself. Don’t try to fix others, worry about yourself, as you focus outward you are not focussing inward and therefore the mind accomplish its objective of distracting you. 

-The way humans treat evil. Evil is just selfishness. To be alive is to be evil. You deny it and pretend to be that good upstanding moral person. Everybody is just as evil as you are but you just want to push your own agenda. The only reason why you think nazis are evil is because they are threatening your agenda. 

There is nothing wrong with all this, but this is what it is to be alive.


Most of human history is about one group of people ruling over another group of people. A generation later we think we are better than they were as if we were immune to the self-deception of the previous generation. And if we don’t run into the previous self-deception, we run into a new one even deeper, thinking we are finally at the top and have reached perfection, we figured reality out, we know the truth.

The question is, can you see your own self-deceptions? By judging others, you are falling into the trap of self-deception. 

Reason itself is the chief tool of self-deception. Reasons are used to justified your self-agenda. The reason why rationalists like to argue about people who are faith-based is precisely because they are ignorant of the faith that they ground their reason in. Reason itself is based on faith. This is a problem of conflict of interests, self-bias and lack of honesty. Reason will only make this worse. You can’t think your way out of this problem. It’s a slow process. Your entire mind/body will revolt against the truth, against self-reflecting and noticing it’s own self-deceptions. Every time you try to change yourself, you fall back. The mind is helping you to maintain your self. Every one has their own pace, with their own problem. You have to turn inwards to find and face your inner demons. The mind hates this process a lot. Everybody denies that he is the devil, that is the nature of the mind.

You can jailbreak your own mind. But the mind knows all its own attempt to jailbreak itself and it can easily stop those. It’s like to play chess with yourself. But it is possible as the final leap will come from outside of your mind, that would be enlightenment, that is not going to come from you. But even after enlightenment the mind will still be there.


In a nutshell, the mind is trying to prevent self-reflection because everything is an illusion. You are God deceiving itself into thinking that it’s not God but that it’s you, a finite being. Why would God Trick himself? Because he can.


The solution to self-deception is self-reflections, it means questioning everything you hold as certain, about yourself and the world. What all personal growth boils down to is going from a place of maximum self-deception to a place of minimum self-deception, the more you do that, the less suffering you’ll have in your life.

By believing that you are a separate entity you have the ability to experience and to discover how beautiful and amazing reality is.


Self-Deception part 2 - 60+ Self-Deception Mechanisms


“Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving oneself” Ludwig Wittgenstein

“Thought is always saying that thought didn’t do it” David Bohm


Recap: The mind is a self-deceptive engine because without illusion nothing can exist, reality must be dreamed into being. This dream needs to be sustained it is so through self-deception. It is not in the mind’s interest to look inside at the machinery constructing the dream. The dream is maintained through a lack of self-awareness and self-reflection. You can have the idea to jailbreak the mind and to see what reality is like, outside of the dream.


To be alive is to be selfish. It’s convenient to deceive yourself before you actually deceive other people, once you deceived yourself, that let’s you get away with a lot of selfish stuff. Would you think a coucou bird would survive by not kicking the other eggs of the nest of another bird if it has some sense morality? Human beings are social creatures, we live in large groups, we need a sense of morality, but nevertheless, we don’t want to be too honest with each other and ourselves and so we are some of the most deceptive creatures that exist. We need to be deceiving and at the same doing as if nothing is going on. What better way to this by deceiving yourself in the process. Think of how sneaky you can be when you don’t even know that you are being sneaky. It’s a work of genius, it’s mind-blowing! 


The deception goes like this: You think you know things that you really do not know. Everytime you have a firm position on anything, you open yourself up to self-deception.

Here a a list of the different mechanism:

-Thinking that you got reality figured out

-Believing that reality is an objective thing, that facts exits independently from interpretation

-Assuming that self-deception is not a significant factor in your life, underestimating it

-Thinking that you can dismiss and avoid metaphysics

-Conceptualization, confusing the map for the territory, distinguish between a concept and direct experience, separate your thoughts from sensory perceptions.

-Language and labeling, by putting names and labels, we believe that we know more about an object than we really do. Science and academics love to use complicated language. Labels contain a large number of connections and meanings of other concepts. That is forming networks in your mind of meanings and that creates all sorts of aberrance in your mind that are difficult to escape.

-Beliefs and hearsay, science is a highly beliefs based system, big bang etc, believing that this is not a belief, is a belief as well. Did you actually check the facts for yourself? Contemplation, meditation, this is raw experience. 99% of what you hold to be true is just beliefs.

-Judging the correctness of your worldview based on how cohesive it feels, but how do you differentiate one world view from another? You will pick the one that you grew up in, the closest to your personal preference, that will feel cohesive.

-The unwillingness to admit that “you don’t know”. We have always good explanations for everything but you don’t actually know much. Not knowing implies that we are stupid or that there is something wrong with us.

-Childhood imprinting and indoctrination, the mind will believe whatever its environment leads it to believe, especially religious or atheist & metaphysical beliefs.

-The need for contrast in order for the human mind to grasp something, the mind requires contrast to be conscious of things. By traveling you get the contrast of the different cultures. You take oxygen for granted because there is no contrast. If you don’t have any contrast to reality, then whatever you are experiencing seems like reality

-Assumptions, we make assumptions without being conscious that they are assumptions and build a web of beliefs around it.

-Self evidence or “a priori” truths, truth that or so obvious that they don’t need further investigations, like 1+1=2, but you are absolutely clueless.

-Emotions (what puts you into motions), the mind doesn’t manipulate you through logic and reasons but through emotions, and they one of the hardest thing to master. If your mind wanted to trick you, hide something from you, it would hide it behind a wall of fear, like the fear of death. The mind uses fear, anger, boredom to make you avoid self-reflection and they are extremely effective. Did you notice that reason and logic doesn’t help much when you are afraid of snakes or heights. Emotions are the minds primary way of controlling you. All notions of truth, morality, kindness, love fly out the window when you are angry, depressed and fearful.

-Not being conscious of your own ego reactions. Science doesn’t like to admit the entire influence of psychology and emotions upon the entire reasoning process, that would mean the entire process is corrupt, they’d like to believe that reason is the primary process, but it is the secondary process. Psychology, emotions and ego are the primary process. The mind hides all this to fulfill its agenda

-Projection is demonizing other people through denying that the problem comes from you. Look how evil and selfish terrorists are… you’d better look at yourself.

-Distractions (episode The ego’s favorite defense mechanism)

-Crusading, morality, atheist, science… distracting from self-reflection

-Addictions drugs, porn, food etc, are obvious but it’s more subtle when your addiction is overthinking, daydreaming, judging & criticizing, resenting people for their success…

-Believing that science has or will figure it all out

-Having pet theories, scientific like evolution or the big bang, even in politics or religion, you want them to be true. People give their theory a special treatment.

-Confirmation bias, cherrypicking evidence, narrative making. The minds tends to assume a thing and then cherrypick the confirming kind of evidences to bolster this narrative

-Underestimating paradigms, not being able to recognize that you are trap inside a paradigm

-Taking basic things for granted, like existence, life, money, matter, energy, space, time, government…. we don’t question them very deeply.

-Question begging, reasoning in a circle, it’s posing a question, answering it and assuming the thing you’re trying to investigate. Obvious with religious people, but it’s also a big problem in philosophy and science. Try to question a scientific person if the brain is actually real. They would say how can it not be real? We just open a skull and see there is a brain. But to open a skull and to see that there is a brain is not a proof, that is begging the question. Those neurons, as you are looking at them, where are they located? Are the neurons located in another brain? In the universe… how do you know there is a universe? Because that’s in your brain, in your mind. It is circular logic. You construct an entire reality from question begging.

-Judgement, criticism name calling


-New Age bias, a particular form of closed-mindedness

-Dismissing the occult, mystical and paranormal phenomena

-Blaming, scapegoating, demonizing

-Playing victim

-Arguing and debating

-False skepticism and debunking

-Human species bias, taking the human perspective as though it were universal and the only one. Even maths, physics and science are a human specific way of understanding reality. There is no such thing as universal knowledge.

There is also no such thing as peace on earth, even if everybody would get enlightened. When we build another city we don’t care of how much insects and animals are killed in the process, life is inherently destructive. To have life you have to have death, evil and selfishness

-Dismissing all of this by saying it’s just philosophy

-Pleading that nobody knows the truth so that you can continue your life as it was.

-Cultural preferences. Ask yourself is your culture really the best one? Why do I think it’s the best one, could that be completely arbitrary, could I be imprinted? Cultures are collective egos


Knowing about self-deception doesn’t make you immune to it, it’s like walking in a minefield, you can’t avoid them all. Watch yourself as it is happening


Self-Deception Part 3

“Enmeshed, entangled, you can still get out unless, poor fool, you stand in your own way.” Lucretius

“It’s a trap!” Admiral Ackbar, The Return of the Jedi 

List goes on:


-Ignoring one’s own conflict of interest which includes the following subtopics: 

a) double standards; Science never proved that there is such a thing as an external world, do most scientists except to even question it? No because it’s part of the dogma of the scientific paradigm. So they are very harsh on the new age people, but the rationalist or the scientist don’t have conclusive proof that the universe is rational, do you have any proof that the Self exists, why do they believe in a Self? It’s just taken for granted and then a double standards is applied. To the mind it’s just reality. Same problem applies to spiritual groups. The loyalty of the person that belongs to one particular traditions or school, the school will come first, that’s the new ego that’s being defended. There is no objective comparison of which technic for enlightenment are actually the best. 

b) self-justification and excuse making; 

c) backward rationalization, confabulation; When the is rationalizing, it can rationalize anything it wants, like a good attorney defending a rapist or a corrupt politician

d) wanting or needing a thing to be true;

-Unwilling to make self-investigation; If you do research you got to be open to the fact that your mind could be change

-Assuming rigid dualistic categories or distinctions. Science vs religion, bad vs good, matter vs energy, light being a particle or a wave and so on.

-Being over logical and rational, it doesn’t help for not being fooled by your own mind at all.

-Thinking bias, taking thinking as the best way to understand reality

-Analysis bias, like braking matter, fragmentation, looking what composes matter and thinking that you understand reality that way. Emergent phenomenon is the fact that, arranging some pieces together doesn’t produce the whole, phenomenon that the sum of the whole is greater than its individual parts.

-Impossibility bias; assuming that your intuition about what is possible or impossible is right, but the future always surprises us. Give a phone to a man of the middle age…

-Mistaking truth with provability; The domain of things that are true is much larger than the domain of things that are provable.

-Expecting the truth to be thrust upon you and proven to you overwhelmingly against your own resistance, no, you have to meet the truth half way

-Assuming that reality is simple, intuitive and obvious

-Black and white thinking. After hearing about self-deception you might think that everything what is going on with you, is a self deception, that would be just more self-deception! No, the whole point of self deception is that is subtle, not like black and white, not everything is self deception, you have genuine motivations, desires and values within you, you have to investigate what is true or self-deceptive. Otherwise you convince yourself to complete inaction. Jailbreaking the mind requires nuances.

-Paradox bias, avoiding paradox, avoiding the weird or strange facets of reality.

-Taking your knowledge as obvious. A lot of people had to die hundreds of years ago for us now being able to take our knowledge as obvious

-Mindfuck bias, not expecting a reversal and in a trend, underestimating the possibility of mindfucks, reality is not linear

-Pragmatic bias, to only care about things that obviously seem useful. Saying “if it’s not useful why shall we care about it?” The stuff that is useful to you is the stuff that directly serves your ego. Some stuff can be not useful but nevertheless true. What if life is more than success or technology, don’t confuse these with truth. It’s not because something is successful doesn’t mean it’s true. A lot of technology are build based on Newtonian mechanics, but we know it’s technically wrong, still, it is useful.

-Underestimating the influence of business, marketing and culture in influencing your worldview, beliefs and desires

-Authority and credentials, trusting in experts and authorities in science but also in interpreting reality

-Morality bias, people who are very attached to their moral, comparing to and then dismissing wisdom because of your own moral standards, morality doesn’t come first

-Political ramification bias, same as the morality bias but with political ideology

-Historical meta-narratives, believing that the history of human beings is like we were taught in school. Human used to be quiet conscious before the age of agriculture, they were not savages, they made some profound discoveries just using their consciousness, they had good knowledge of plant and animal life, how to manipulate stones, constructing monuments. We ,might still be living in dark ages only technologize.

-Tribalism; racism, nationalism, political infighting, partisanship, spiritual groups

-Groupthink, when you surrender your mind to a group of people.

-Assuming that everyone has the same brain chemistry, that everyone has the same access to reality, that reality is the same for every one

-Preoccupation for the self-deceptions of other people, worry about your own self-deceptions, fix yourself, don’t point your finger at others, use other’s self-deceptions to recognize that you have probably the same self-deceptions.

-Talking and knowing versus embodying a wisdom

-Thinking when you are at the end of the journey, believing you have the upper hand on a situation, that is useably when the situation has the upper hand on you.

-Being arrogant, feel it as it happens, recognize how this arrogance hold you from enjoying life


To see a mechanism within you, doesn’t mean that you can just drop it, it’s a work in progress.


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On 08/01/2019 at 7:12 PM, Sahil Pandit said:


You are welcome

Who Am I to judge? When I think I know, I don't know that I don't know.

"Things don't change when they are understood. Understanding reinforces the intellect (the ego). The seeker has to make room to the meditative state."

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This is such a fundamental one, should/could be read or listen to before the "Spiritual Enlightenment, the most shocking truth you'll ever hear"

Thank you so much Leo!


What is perception?


“If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is infinite” William Blake


What is perception and what is the relationship between perception, the mind, the brain, consciousness and reality? How it is that perception can happen at all?

After a 14 days meditation retreat, Leo discovered that perception is an illusion, perception does not exist.


Perception is not a biological or neurological process, it doesn’t occur, the raw data of perception is undeniable, you hear sounds and see colors. The visual and auditory field, the sensory bubble that you are in, including perception or experience, is like a snow globe painted from the inside. Perception carry in hidden metaphysics as it implies a subject and an object. By definition, perception and experience requires a subject, someone who is having an experience.


So what does an experience look like when we remove the owner of the experience. Is the color red literally floating in the vacuum of empty space without you to experience it? When we take away the subject and we make the subject and the object collapse together, can we still call that an experience? On one hand we can say that the color red is still an experience that is not occurring to anybody. The raw data would still stay the same and it is no longer yours, it is not happening to you, that is a radical recontextualization, it’s not happening to your brain and your mind and not even a part of your life anymore, but the universe is experiencing it. 

Imaging an object that exists all by itself in an empty universe and no-one perceiving it. How does the universe register that this object is there?


Your current conception of what reality is that 

1)There is an external objective material world, that this world exist independently of you. 

2)They are two kinds of objects like rocks, cars, building and planets and then there are sentient creatures like humans and animals.

3)These sentient creatures perceive the external world. 

4)Every creature has its perceptual field or bubble.

5)You are one of these sentient creatures

6)Perceptions occur inside the brain or are produced by the brain which is itself a dumb object like a rock. We don’t know how the the brain can produce this perceptual bubble field, but nevertheless it does because here it is.



1)There is no objective external material world, the only one thing that exists, is this one universal field of consciousness.

2)You did not come into existence as an object, nor as a sentient creature but you were born as an idea. You are the idea that you are a physical object.

3)This idea of “You”, when it came to existence, took ownership of this field of consciousness and misinterpreted it as its own perceptions. 

But there is no such thing as perception. You believe that this bubble is yours, or you, comprising your life. You imagine that birth is a bubble of perception coming in to existence and that death is the extinction of this bubble. The ego constructed out of this field, carved out of an infinite block of stone, a personal story, the sense of “me” like a child receiving a toy believing that it is his toy. Nothing about the toy changes when you call it “my toy” or “it’s mine”. You are creating the idea that “it’s mine”. So here you can see that it’s not a simple word game, that ownership is some sort objective property of the universe rather than a projection of your own mind. The belief you have about the ownership of the bubble of perception, is like that child. You bought into the idea that you are biological sentient creature. Education reinforced that idea. But what you are is more like a negative sculpture, a hole that was carved out from that universal field of consciousness. You believe death is the disillusion of this structure which will break appart a negative space. If we remove the “you” out of the bubble of perception, the raw data won’t change. Still, if we remove the “you”, the picture changes significantly. We might say that perceptions are just floating out in the vacuum of empty space… It seems strange and radical and it is a radical recontextualisation. There never was such a biological creature organism, that was an illusion, that was a negative space. 

Capture d’écran 2019-01-10 à 12.42.06.png

The objective material external world out there causing your perceptions never existed. Appearance is reality, there is nothing to reality than appearance. But also the internal world is not real and never existed, you have mistaken the external world for the internal world. What you thought was the internal world, colors, sensations, our subjectivity, our individual bubble is actually the external world. Those two interpretations of reality are not opposite, they are actually identical. Notice that the raw data stay the same, the colors, the feelings, the shapes stay the same, the only thing that changes is the interpretation of your experience to the point where you cease to exist by removing the subject. When you reinterpret yourself out of existence, what you see is the substrat that was carving out the negative space, perceptions become being. 

Experience = Perceptions vs Being. 

Being is Perception minus the Ego, or Experience minus Ego is Being. Perception is Being plus Ego. 

Perceptions and experience are technically speaking a misinterpretation of being as the ego take ownership over this being.

A good but limited analogy is when you take a sponge, they are bubbles of empty space. you are one these bubble. 

There is no subject, there is only the bubble. Who is perceiving this sponge? That is the mind fuck, no one is, the sponge just is, without anybody looking at it. It doesn’t change what it looks like but it changes what you look it to be, it takes you out of the equation and depersonalize everything. The sponge contains time and space and is infinite, it contains infinite amount of dimensions, and you are just one of these bubbles, the negative space. But physically, you are the whole sponge, we are all one. To realize that you need to stop identifying with one of this bubbles. This is what enlightenment is. The collapsing of all categories and distinctions, like subject and object, inner and outer, internal and external, mind and body, going from the mind/body dualism of Descartes unifying all into one field of consciousness.

Do the following exercice:

Ground yourself in actuality by looking at your hand, put your awareness on the visual field and realize that you are not a biological creature, this field is not some part of a biological creature coming from some brain, this visual field is not yours, it feels as though this field is your life, try to see your hand as an object floating in the vacuum of empty space, try to see that there is no you looking at the hand, the hand just is, try to depersonalize the experience of the you, your emotions, your sensations, this is the external world, the raw fabric of the universe, it’s just existing. Your thoughts and perceptions about the external world, sounds, colors, shapes, smells, emotions, feeling, ideas, understanding, that is not biology, that is the raw physical universe.

How is possible though that it has all those subjective qualities? It’s possible because here it is! What you thought until now was just a groundless assumption. The universe is this. It’s not happening to you, it’s happening to itself, it’s always happening without a you. The only time when you think something is happening to you is when you think it’s happening to you. When you are not thinking about it, it’s not happening to you, it’s just there for itself.

You strip the you or the ego away from this experience, this change the experience to be not an experience anymore but to be absolute being or Truth, the Truth is “this” without the you. Don’t expect the sound or sight to change when realizing it, don’t expect angels or anything else, you will realize that there never was a you here, and that the Truth is pure Being. The difficulty in this exercise is not by seeing something different but the reinterpretation or recontextualization of what you’ve always been experiencing, breaking out of the illusion. This is why they say enlightenment is already here or that you’ve always been enlightened. 

This is what waking up is. You misinterpreted it because of your drive to survive and your fear of death, because you want you to survive. Your number one priority in life is to be you, the reason why enlightenment is so rare is because you don’t want to surrender the you. The process to surrender might trigger a lot of egoic reactions, because your mind wants you to survive. Survival is not about fairness, not about truth, it’s about lies and deceptions. Your mind will work overtime to maintain the deception that you have been under your entire life because your entire life hingers upon it. When you realize this, that will be the end of you, you will die. But death is not what you think it means. Death is not the cessation of perceptions, colors etc, it means the elimination of the idea of you, just an idea. There will never be a physical death of you because that would mean that you were a physical object, that was a false assumption.

What you think of physical death is actually conceptual death, (the sense that you are one of the bubble of the sponge). 

If you say: “ this is not possible, there is physical death ” … what is that but just another concept. The mind traps itself with concepts, mistaking concepts for physical reality.

This is why people are so touchy when we question there metaphysical, scientific or religious beliefs. If we question it too much it starts to pull apart there entire reality. They don’t fear that their reality will fall apart, although some might experience the fear of insanity. When your reality falls apart you might experience that you going insane. But before you get to that fear, you experience a more primal fear, the fear of death. 

As soon as you get anywhere close to realize you are not one of these bubbles of the sponge, your ego goes crazy, hyper reactive and emotional in order to distract you away from the truth and to drive you deeper into falsehood, deeper into the illusion with negative emotions. This is the explanation of the entire game of life. Spoiler alert ;-) When you understand this at the cellular level, your life will never be the same again, it transforms your entire relationship to life, human beings, living and non living things and creatures.


-Is the universe self-aware? If there is nobody to perceive the sponge, how is it possible that it’s being perceived? 

You assumed that awareness is something living creatures do when in fact there is no such thing as a living creature, your mistake was to come up with this idea of sentient living creatures, there are no such things and you are no such thing.


-How can there be an awareness without a living creature? 

Well,…, how can there be an awareness with living creatures? No matter how you try to explain it, awareness is a very weird thing, that is exactly what science can’t explain. Awareness is not a thing, it can’t be explained, it’s irreducibly mystical and mysterious, because it’s the most fundamental thing there is, you can’t get more fundamental than awareness, it is not property of biological creatures. It’s not that rocks are not aware but one day when matter evolves to microbes and bacterias, fish become mammals and so on, finally the lizard becomes aware. Awareness is not a thing. Technically speaking awareness doesn’t even exist. Awareness is pure nothingness, a pure void or vacuum, that in which the sponge is suspended, nobody has or produces awareness. To think that there is awareness is already a mistake, because we think of it as a weird field, but it’s just nothing.

Imagine there is a alternate universe in which awareness doesn’t exist, no sentient creatures, no internal worlds, no perceptions, only facts, nobody to perceive what is happening. The collection of what is happening, all the facts of that universe is the Truth, it’s just Being. You might think it’s boring, there is no love, no knowledge, living creatures a dead universe. Well this universe is our present universe, this is what is happening right now. Our entire universe consists of only one thing, the raw truth, the raw facts. All this colors and shapes, sounds and smells it just pure raw data happening to absolutely nobody and perceived by nobody with no awareness, that is Truth with a capital “T”.


-But how come I Am perceiving it? How can the truth just be? How can it look as if it’s been “awared”?

Truth just is. It’s just “isness” There is nowhere else to go, it’s the only thing that there is. It is self-apparent, or self-aware. But this is the limit of communication right here. Non-duality cannot be put into words concepts or analogies. You need to go beyond all that. Not with beliefs, ideas, philosophy or concepts. Look at actuality, what is happening around you ,the pure truth.


-How do you explain that the brain affects perceptions? If my brain is damaged, how come for example my sight could be altered? 

The brain is itself a perception. That is important to understand. All scientists believe that the brain is something more fundamental than a perception, prior to perceptions. That is not the case, we bring the brain at the same level as all the perceptions that we attribute to the brain such that the brain itself is also one of the perceptions. When you do that, the brain ceases to have that same kind of explanatory causal power that it uses to have. You can no longer use the concept of a brain to metaphysically ground the rest of reality and perception.

The brain is a special perception. It’s a perception that tends to have a global effect on all other perceptions, like when you take a drug or a pill. The pill is just another perception. 

So we take a pill, a perception, we put in our mouth, a perception, going through the blood, a perception, chemicals get into our brain, chemicals are perceptions too. This is how the universe works. A field of perceptions interacting with themselves in various ways, sometimes with local effects, sometimes with global effects which is what happens when your brain got damaged. We are using the world perceptions, but what we really are talking about is Being. We have being interacting with being. This one unified field of consciousness is self-interacting, it’s not static, it’s constantly morphing and changing. The bubbles are always popping in and out of existence, that’s what you would think to be your physical birth and death but it contains absolutely everything.


In conclusion, perceptions is being or absolute truth when properly interpreted, but most people on earth misinterpreted this because of the sense of self. They mistaken perception for the self, “my perceptions”, they mistake the self for being a sentient creature, but they are all illusions, like negative scultures in this one unified field.


How is possible to know any of this? 

It’s possible for anybody to realize it by shutting down the mind, becoming very focussed on the present moment and doing it every day, hour after hour for months and years until it clicks. You can’t make it click, it will click on its own, but you can do serious technics that lead towards the clicking, like meditation, contemplating, psychedelics. You can listen to this episode prior doing psychedelics and you will see it. Here is the many thousand years old mind/body problem resolved.

If you go through this whole process, it will transform your entire life, the doors of your perceptions will be cleansed and what you will be left with as William Blake said, you will realized that you are the infinite, the entire universe, not a little object in the universe. To get there you must go through all of your fears and neurosis, surrender your arrogance, your judgments, all the demonizations of others, to be radically open minded to break through. The end result is the most amazing joy but the process of cleansing the doors of your perception is some of the greatest hell and struggle that you can possibly imaging. You will never know what you miss unless you do it. What you’ll miss is so great that it is impossible to put into words.

Edited by Nic

Who Am I to judge? When I think I know, I don't know that I don't know.

"Things don't change when they are understood. Understanding reinforces the intellect (the ego). The seeker has to make room to the meditative state."

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This is a summary of almost all the videos I've seen :) Make sure to apply these principles carefuly! You can see how I was growing as I saw more and more of these videos and did the practices, especially to the end of the file... :D Some of the things at the beginning might complete bullshit, I am not sure...



Edited by bejapuskas

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@bejapuskas Thank you man! Especially for the spiral dynamics section!


We are still missing Spiral Dynamics - Areas Of Application, anybody?

Who Am I to judge? When I think I know, I don't know that I don't know.

"Things don't change when they are understood. Understanding reinforces the intellect (the ego). The seeker has to make room to the meditative state."

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@Nic  Sorry man, I watched that video, but I studied SD so much before, that I decided, that I probably don't need to make notes - listening was more valuable for me there. Thanks for contributing this list too!

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@bejapuskas Good job buddy! No worries!

Who Am I to judge? When I think I know, I don't know that I don't know.

"Things don't change when they are understood. Understanding reinforces the intellect (the ego). The seeker has to make room to the meditative state."

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What is God? - A No Bullshit Explanation For Smart People - Part 1


“He who knows himself knows God.” St Anthony

This is based on Leo’s own experiences, not dogmas or ideologies that he believes. Don’t take his word for it, you can become conscious of it yourself.


How do you communicate something that is beyond words? Your mind doesn’t want to hear what Leo has to say. The mind find ways to misunderstand what God is very easily. Wha is the source of all of existence, all of creation, beyond where science typically goes?

Does God Really exist? Yes, but what does it mean as God is not what you think it is.

There are 3 types of people:

1) The religious people, the theists who deeply believe in God.

2) The Atheists, who don’t believe in God, believe that God is a creation of mankind to brainwash others.

3) The agnostics believe that it is impossible to know and we have to be open to both possibilities 

All those categories are deeply confused and misunderstand what God is, they are confused in their own unique ways, but each of them have a bit of truth that is being missed amongst all the confusions. So we got to take that bit of truth, collect it and discard all the confusions and delusion. Leo used to be an atheist until 3 years ago where he had direct experience of God so he can clarify the confusions.

As atheist you have to understand the “pre trans fallacy” popularized by Ken Wilbert.

We have 3 categories of worldview. They are stages of cognitive development of the psyche that the humans goes through individualistically and collectively. 


1) The pre-rational, fundamentalists, believes that God is what they believe it is, follows the scriptures, the bible believes in Noe’s arch and so forth

2) The rational, become more skeptical, appreciates science and it becomes the new religion. They think of themselves being so above the first stage, they don’t see there is a trans-rational stage

3) The trans-rational, is hard to describe because it is beyond language and beyond the mind. It is not a rejection of reality but it is going beyond rationality and realizing its limits.


The “pre-trans fallacy” is what the atheist or scientifically minded person does, they confuse the trans-rational stage with the pre rational stage. Taking about God doesn’t mean that you are one of those christian fundamentalists! This communication is a trans-rational communication. Religion is full of delusions, but religion is also right about God being an actual phenomenon and not an invention of the human mind. The theists confuse their ideas and beliefs or images of God for God itself.

The key insight is that God is an experience not a belief or a theory.


Can you find proof of the existence of God? What is proof, what is an experience, how does science or knowledge work? But you don’t find proof for God as you would find proof for some murder. God is the most fundamental thing ever, the origins of existence itself. Proof requires that first you have existence, science and rationality depends on fundamental things that needs to be in place before they work. Proof is a second order phenomenon. Truth or being is prior to proof. You can’t have a castle without bricks but you can have bricks without a castle. Atheist try to find proof for God by trying to find bricks in the shape of a castle, they take the castle as the primary and the bricks as the secondary. Gödel’s and Alfred Tarski both proved that proof is always a weaker notion than truth. Everything that is true is not automatically provable!

Prove to me that you exist. It’s actually impossible because existence is more fundamental than proof. The only reason you think you exist is because you feel that you exist and that happens through personal experience. Try to prove that colors exist to a bind person, it’s not possible. For proof to happen, a lot things have to be in place like common based experiences for individuals so we can build a consensus and we can have standards of what qualifies a proof and what doesn’t. These standards can be different depending on the community or culture you are a part of, and what time in history we are talking about. Proof is a very complex notion which requires a lot of various building blocks which itself cannot be proven. Certain things in life cannot be proven and yet, they are true.


The main reason why God doesn’t make sense to you is because you’re failing to account for different states of consciousness.

Right now you are in the conventional state of consciousness. You can also be in drunken state of consciousness, certain things are open to you and other things are closed in that state of consciousness, every state comes with his own limitations and possibilities. Same when you dream. And then, they are rarified superhuman with high levels of consciousness. So it is not possible to understand God from your courant level of consciousness you need to raise your level of consciousness way higher. It’s like trying to explain colors to a blind person. To understand colors you got to directly experience colors. Science is a figment of consciousness. You can do science and rationality because you are in particular state of consciousness. The reality of an ant is much different to the one of a human. Well, there are much greater states of reality than the one you live in right now.


You also fail to take into account states of cognitive development, the “pre/trans fallacy”, and also spiral dynamics. The human psyche evolves and grows. You can anticipate the things you can’t understand right now and will understand in the next stage.

You also assume that reality is a material, physical system, which is wrong. Reality is more like a giant mind which can imagine and think up all sorts of sub realities within it, one of which being what we call physical reality. If you assume that the universe is a box with lots of objects in it, subjected to laws of physics, than your universe is very limited. You assume than consciousness comes from the brain a materialistic explanation for the universe. From the materialistic paradigm, God makes no sense. Science has never proven the existence of a external materialistic world and it never will or the existence of another human being. These things are metaphysical dogmas of science. Science just assumes that this is how it has to be, exactly what needs to be question if you want to understand God.


The existence or the non existence of God seats on the very top of your web of belief, the operating system that governs your whole life. The ramification of realizing what God is are so widespread, it’ll change your entire orientation to life which is why you get so emotional about it when you discuss about the existence of God. The emotions, the dogma is there as a smoke screen to get you to not investigate for yourself. Whatever attitude you have towards God is what prevents you from understanding what God is. Are you going to surrender that attitude, or are you going to cling and defend it at all costs. 

If you say you don’t have an attitude and don’t want to open yourself to some kind of brainwash, that’s an attitude, and this is exactly why you will never understand God. 

Have you ever experienced God for yourself? That is very different than believing in God. Have you ever experience that there is no God? For the atheists, just because you haven’t experienced God yet, doesn’t mean that there is no God. For the theists, don’t confuse your beliefs in God with the actual experience.

Are you directly conscious of God right at this second? Even if you experience mystical experiences in the past, you don’t really know what it is, all you got are memories and pleasant stories, interpretations which are very different from actual consciousness of God.


The misconceptions of God:

-The biggest one being that God is a belief. 

-A superstitious, religious notion, wishful thinking, a defense mechanism that naive people adopt in order to avoid facing death, wishing for an afterlife, wishing for more meaning in their life than there really is, a defense mechanism against the nihilism of reality. It is true that a lot of people do use it as a crutch to face some tough philosophical realities, but that is not the origin of the notion of God.

-God is a bearded man in the sky. God is not a man, a she and not even a thing.

-God is incompatible with science, evolution and advanced society. Both can be true, this what the trans-rational stage is about.

-God has rules that you must follow, that God punishes evil doers and sinners, that your role in life is not to be a sinner. God doesn’t punish nor judge anyone. You are given total freedom, if you want to be a murder or a rapist, God is fine with it. You have to separate cultural norm and morality from God.

-God is exclusive to one religion. My religions has one right God and all the others are wrong, no religion has a monopoly on God. All religions talk about the same one God, their apparent diversity depends on your interpretations of them, even polytheists religions like hinduism relate to the same one God.

-God is other than you. How can God be me? How can God be other than you? To notice that, you will have to change how you conceive of yourself and also how you conceive God to bring those two things together. If I’m God how come I can’t create things out of thin air? Because you are in this limited human form, God is all about limitation.


So what is God?

-God is the supreme being, the first cause, the source of all creations, the universe, the multiverse, everything. God is infinite, boundless, the All, the One, the Absolute, God is also omniscient, all knowing, omnipotent, having unlimited power and the ability to create anything that it wants, God is also omnipresent, benevolent, all loving and good, incorporeal, eternal and immortal, perfect and complete. All of it is correct. The problem is accepting it and understanding how it can possibly be. Leo has through direct experience validated all of these facets.

-God is a radical state of consciousness but at the same time, God is all state of consciousness. God is not restricted to one state of consciousness, but in this state of consciousness, you are not conscious that this is a facet of God.

-God is also the absence self, or You. God is you and the absence of you, both are the case, that is a paradox. God is the absence of you as your limited egoic identity. The thing that you think that was born, that has a life story, the you that you think as a creature, the biological you, that you is a false conceptual self. If you get rid of that thing, you will realize and experience yourself as God. What remains of you is nothing, you experience yourself as pure emptiness. When we strip all qualities of you, all that remains is a state of pure and empty consciousness or awareness, and that’s what God is. This is You with a capital “Y” different from the conventional “you”, the biological you, that thing has to die to realize God. You are the obstacle. You want to see God, and the thing that in the way of you seeing God is yourself.

-God is also synonymous with reality, existence and truth. In that sense, atheists call their God reality, nature or existence. The problem is that atheists are not conscious of what reality, existence or nature actually are. God is the word you use to describe what your experience is when you become conscious of what nature and reality are. It’s conscious and divine. Atheists treat reality as mechanical system, God or reality is not a mechanical system, it’s a giant mind, and that’s what you are missing as an atheist. So as an atheist, you have created a false God for yourself, the mechanical reality, an external, objective reality that human being can study with science. That thing doesn’t exist, you invited it, that is your God, the thing that you cling to, just like the fundamentalists cling to their notions of God as the bearded man in the clouds.

-God is consciousness, that thing in you which is conscious of existence. The problem is that atheist, rationalist, materialists think of consciousness as a thing that the brain does, that consciousness exists within a physical-mechanical universe. But that’s not what consciousness is, there is only consciousness, there is no mechanical-physical universe, all of that is content within consciousness. Consciousness is disembodied. Consciousness is not a computer simulation, it is not happening in the brain. Brains, computer simulations, big bangs, universes, science and rationality, all of that is content within consciousness. How does the consciousness occur? Consciousness is singular and has no opposite and that it is pure magic. There is no rational explanation for it, demystifying it is exactly what materialist are looking for, and that’s impossible.

-God is Being. What is Being? Everything is Being! So how come I can’t see it? Because you are not interfacing directly with Being, you are interpreting Being all the time. Your interpretations create a smoke screen that prevents you form directly experiencing Being. You see the world as being made out of trees and cars and animals etc… but it’s not. What’s actually there is pure Being but you are making sense of it such that it helps you in your survival.

-God is now. It’s the only thing that exists. Not the past, not the future. What is now? You can’t put your finger on it. God is the one thing that can’t be pointed to, because the thing that is pointing to God is God itself. If God is everything it means that it can’t be pointed to, it is prior to interpretations, prior to the mind. The process of understanding it, is itself in the way of having it. You can’t know that you are God because you are God. Knowledge is already one step too far, you need to BE God.

-God is non-duality, is boundless. There are no categories that we create, good/bad, male/female, here/there, God is the unification of all those qualities. Those distinctions do exist but at the same time are all unified as one. To become conscious of the oneness of reality, which you are also a part of, is to become conscious of God! God is his own creation. All what is happening right now is oneness, that is God, the whole universe is one movement. 

-God is a strange loop, it created itself. Using conventional logic, such thing is impossible, but God is not limited to logic, it has infinite power that includes the power to create itself. It is an elegant solution to the solve the problem of where does existence comes from. If God created the big bang for example, if you need one object to create another, the logic of cause and effect goes on forever, but not if God itself is infinity and accounts for every possibility and therefor, it did create itself.

-God exist for eternity, it created itself but also simultaneously has always existed and never needed creation. You need direct experience of God to understand this. Leo experienced how he designed his own body, including every hair and every molecule.

-God is absolute infinity, there is nothing outside of it.

-God is everything and nothing, your body is God, your thoughts are God but God is also not any of that. How can both be true at the same time? You need to become conscious of that. Because God is consciousness and consciousness is not a thing, it is not located anywhere. And a thing that is not located anywhere is actually the same as everything. To be nothing is to be everything and to be everything is to be nothing. In the vacuum of empty space there is a hammer, you might think that where the hammer is, there is no vacuum. Vacuum doesn’t mean it is empty of objects, vacuum is empty also when there are objects in it. You don’t think of it that way because you think dualistically.

-God is the answer to all mystical, metaphysical and philosophical questions. God is not an answer of any scientific questions.


How can anything about this be true? the answer is, it just is, Truth can’t be proven, Truth just is. It’s our job to stop the cycle of endless justification and trying to find reasons an explanations. At some point we have to accept it as it is. You can’t get beyond or underneath consciousness because there is nothing there, it just is. 


What does God look or feel like? 

-God feels like awakening from a dream. That means that all the physical world you are experiencing right now, the walls, the earth and so on is just a figment of your imagination. That does not mean that you have the power to think the floor out of existence. Imagination encompasses actually all of reality, not only when you are in thinking mode. This very moment is being imagined, it does not exist anywhere, it’s been imagined by God and God is nothing. This moment is an imagination within the mind of God but also identical with the mind of God. The physical machinery of God is identical to consciousness or the mind. God’s brain or mind is this very moment.

-God feels like dying, as a culture what we have labeled death is actually God. We named the realization of God, death. When you die, you become God. The only thing that is going to die is your idea of physical reality and the idea of you as a biological self, nothing real is going to die. In a sense, there is no such thing as death. Death is a concept that you have imagined. God is infinite, it cannot die, it has no place to go.

-God feels like a total surrender, whatever the universe wants to do, you just do that.

-God feels like the biggest mindfuck ever, OMG, wow, awesome and terrifying. 

-God feels like exiting the matrix, it simultaneously leaves you in the matrix and transforms the matrix and you cannot talk about it otherwise people think you are insane.

-God feels like a metaphysical orgasm and cosmic holographic fractal, the universe is being aware through your eyes, the universe is using you like a puppet.

-God feels like a universal mind like idealism and solipsism. Idealism is the opposite of materialism or realism. It tells us that there is only mind stuff. Solipsism tells us that there is no such thing as other sentient entities, there is only you. As God you are all alone, oneness necessarily implies loneliness. The reason it has to be one is because it is infinite.

-God feels like emptiness and nothingness. This emptiness feels light, radiant and full.

-God feels like infinite intelligent. The universe is not random, it not chaotic, it deliberately designed using disembodied infinite intelligence.

-God feels like infinite beauty and profound peace, it feels like times stops, like eternity.

-God feels like immortality, when you realize there is no biological creature or a brain that is creating all this, then you realize that you are immortal as God. If you are identified with your body and your biography, that will of course die, in that sense you are scared of death. If you are identified with all of existence, that can’t die. 

What about the big Crunch theory? Leo talks about existence,  not only our universe.

-God feels also like the greatest gift, the greatest joy, like heaven or Nirvana.

-God feels like infinite love, divine, radiant, magical and alive. The entire universe is alive, it’s sentient and conscious. When you realize that, that changes how you relate to the universe. You have a broader notion of what life is.

-God feels like not knowing, like a irreductible mystery. You can’t know God, you can be God, knowing is always indirect.

-God feels like the greatest moment of your life, life will never be the same.


Why is God so confusing?

-God is a level of consciousness, most people don’t appreciate that there are different levels of consciousness and they never access higher levels of consciousness and therefor they try to understand something that is beyond them.

-God is formless and can’t be pointed to when the mind only can deal with forms. Science only works with forms. It is precisely because God is all forms that you can’t see it.

-God is beyond the mind. There is the inherent assumption that if something exists, is true and is significant, then you just can think about it, understand it and believe in it. But we use our mind to understand things inside the universe, we never ask our minds to go beyond the universe. Scientific questions are about the content of one state of consciousness. Existential questions are about consciousness itself, not the content, but the context. Science can’t see that the science is being done inside of a dream.

-God is a total mindfuck, most people don’t like to get mindfucked, it’s scary

-God is a deep paradox and a strange loop. Paradox threatens the conceptual castles that we build within philosophy or even within science. Paradox threaten the illusion of simple cause and effect, the linear explanation of how existence works.

-God requires radical open-mindedness. Most people are closed-minded, they are not willing to open their mind to radical ideas. Are you open minded enough to accept death and to see it as a good thing, or to see your parents and your friends as creation of your imagination and that they don’t really exist?

-People are not willing to do existential investigations because they already assume that they know. For religious people, their biggest obstacle to God is their ideas about God, it’s the same for atheists.

-God is confusing because people are egotistical and arrogant. God conflicts with ego, control and survival. God requires surrendering your ego and control, taking energy and time away to chasing money, sex, power and material luxuries. God is the opposite of survival, Truth can inhibit your survival.

-God requires facing your own death, not just as an idea but actually facing it.

-God cannot be symbolized, put into words or be communicated. These words are pointers, but you can’t see God with words, nor can you draw a picture or put God into some equations. Equations are finite, God is infinite, you can’t put infinity into an equation because your equation is itself part of infinity, you can’t put the larger into the smaller.

-Very few people have direct experience of God, it requires thousands of hours of meditation and contemplation, various form of inquiry and investigation.

-Our culture, medias and society are very materialistic.

-Metaphysics and epistemology aren’t taken seriously in the educational system, it should be the foundation of all education.

-The success of science creates a false illusion of existential understanding. Creating technology and existential understanding are two different things.

-The foundations of science are misunderstood.

-God doesn’t seem possible or even practical. What you can get out of this is the obstacle. It is looking at reality from your personal egoic point of view.

-Reality is subjective and relative. Pre-rational and rational people have a hard time dealing with relativity. The very substance of existence is relative, atoms and molecules are relative to your own mind. They don’t exist for other creatures but for you. The subjective nature of reality is denied by science and most people. Objective reality is just a concept within your subjective conscious experience. There is nothing objective about the universe, it’s pure subjectivity, pure relativity.

-The mind is self-deceptive.

-Skepticism is misuse. You think that proof should be delivered to you, taking the responsibility away from you to do the hard work and to discover the Truth. Leo is not trying to prove anything here, he is just presenting you with possibilities of things that you can verify for yourself. A true skeptics puts his skepticism to the test and questions his own assumptions. Could it be that skepticism itself is just a self deception that prevents you from doing the work that leads you to higher states of consciousness beyond skepticism?

-God reveals everything to be an illusion: society, culture, governments, language, religions, science, logic, rationality, your own birth, your biography, your parents, your friends etc… can you deal with that?

-It threatens power hierarchies, from religion, to business, economic, political and social system. They are all build on illusions, false justifications. Trying to ground its power in some sort of fixed position in reality which doesn’t exist. Mankind but especially the one on the top of the power hierarchy justify their power through their appeal to God, the truth or the fairness, the goodness or whatever. When they do that, it’s always the ego at work. Tyrants always play the games of illusions, trickery and deceptions.

-Once you know God, no one will understand you, you will not be able to communicate with anyone other than the people who already experienced it, which is irrelevant because they already know. 

The trickery of God is a work of art.


What are the various names for God?

There are many aspects to God, some of these words points to different facets of God some other words point to the whole thing.

God, enlightenment, awakening, oneness, the All, the One, Godhead, nothingness, Truth, non-duality, the absolute, ego death, infinity, absolute infinity, self-transcendence, self-realization, consciousness, awareness, presence, the Now, Being, existence, reality, isness, liberation, moksha, no-Self, true-Self, the Self, Universe, Universal mind, Mind, Spirit, Wakan Tanka (Sioux), revelation, illumination, Theosis, Kenosis, ecstasy, rebirth, Holy Spirit, Nosis, Agape, Brahman, Atman, the void, emptiness, nirvana, Yoga, union, Buddha mind, no mind, kensho (chinese-japanese buddhism), satori (chinese buddhism), stream entry, the groundless ground, the gateless gate, the Ox, Prajnia, shuniata, Bodhi, Mu, Shiva, Rigpa, Krishna, Samadhi, sat chit ananda, Allah, Taohid, Fana Al-Fana’a, the greater Djhihad, Jehovah, Om, I Am, tat tvam asi, Hashem, Deus, Zeus, Teotl (aztecs), supreme Being, Lord, Creator, the all seeing eye.


How do you experience God?

-Metaphysical questioning, so questioning in a lot of depth the fabric of existence and what knowledge is.

-Deconstructing your entire life and belief system, until nothing remains

-Self inquiry 

-Meditation (adding some deconstruction of some kind)

-Concentration and visualization, build crazy high level of focus

-Yoga, Kriya Yoga


-Deep suffering and deprivation (fasting, isolation)

-Meditation retreats and solo retreats

-Dark room retreats for 7 days (natural psychedelics)


What are the way not to experience God?

-Through the mind, beliefs, ideas, concept, thinking, opinions, imagination, knowledge or language. God is prior to all that.

-Through scientific modeling, equations, theorizing.

-Through proof or double blind clinical studies. Your experience of God have to be subjective, you have to be involved in it.

-Through debate, discussion, cynical skepticism, academic study. It is possible to have epiphanies while studying scriptures and sacred texts but it should be used only as an adjunct to your other work.

-Going to church or through traditional prayer where you pray for God for your egotistical goals and plans. But certain prayers are quiet meditative and can help you in that sense.

-Through rituals and ceremonies.

-Through books, videos, audios, although they can be helpful on your journey.


You don’t want to do the stuff that works, precisely because your ego is afraid of death, it’s too frightening to do technics that are actually powerful. So you’d rather do weak technics by design of the ego.

You need to open your mind to Samadhi (direct consciousness or Being), not through knowledge or concepts, thoughts or theory not even through ordinary experience because it presupposes a subject/object duality between the experiencer and the experienced thing. Samadhi is a collapsing of those, it’s a non-dual form of perception or knowledge. Your actual form of perception is grounded in your materialist metaphysics, you being a biological entity looking at an object, photons reaching your eyeball, the information goes to your brain and produce perception. But there is something beyond perception, beyond knowledge. Samadhi is not hallucination nor fantasy, is not scientific data. Psychedelics are the only tool that lets you access these very advance truth very quickly. On 30mg of 5MEO-DMT most people will experience God, but you got to experience it for yourself to make it significant to you.

Who Am I to judge? When I think I know, I don't know that I don't know.

"Things don't change when they are understood. Understanding reinforces the intellect (the ego). The seeker has to make room to the meditative state."

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What is God? Part 2... FAQ


-Are you saying that I Am part of God or that I Am God?

You are God and part of God, it depends what you define “You” as in that sentence. If you think of yourself as a biological creature that was born, the ego mind, that you, is part of God, the deeper you, the one you will discover through practice, that thing is fully God. When you are fully awake, you realize that you are the whole of God. That’s radical statement that exoteric, orthodox, religious teachings do not tell you, but it is the case. When you first realize God, you might experience that you are a part of God but not yet realize that you are the whole of God, that requires doing more work.


-If I Am God, why Am I not experiencing it or feeling it?

God is a trickster in his very nature, because trickery or illusions is the substance of reality. Reality is possible when you imagine that it’s possible and you believe in it in a sense, you have to trick yourself to experience reality in the solid physical way the way you do. In fact you are experiencing God right now. When you are born as a human being, you mistake God for this physical reality that you are in right now because of the sense of self, the ego that helps you to survive. You are in God all the time but you are not realizing because it is not important for your survival. The substance out of which everything is made is completely irrelevant to you in your everyday life, which is why you ignore it. There is nothing but God, you are not just conscious enough to realize this.


-Why is God hiding from us? Why is God so tricky?

For you to be born, you need to be born as a lie, as a deception. God is a shapeshifter, it is formless, pure potentiality and can materialize in all forms, it’s an infinite chameleon. The nature the Godhead is pure formlessness, pure potentiality. God is a shapeshifter, it’s difficult to spot because you confuse the form for a physical object. There is actually no difference between illusion and reality, this is how God creates, this is the very mechanism of the creation of anything. Appearance is reality, illusions is all you can have. What we call our physical world is constant never-ending process of forms emerging out of formlessness, like every word Leo is saying. The nature of creation must be tricky.


-Why is God invisible? Isn’t that convenient?

When you go to rock bottom to what is true, you have to accept what you find. It is actually highly inconvenient that God is invisible, because it makes it challenging but still possible to find it. You believe you are an observer inside the body… What is that observer? Isn’t it some invisible being…? Which of course is God…


-Is God falsifiable?

Is the Truth falsifiable? God is prior to science and the notion of falsifiability. Theories are falsifiable but God is not a theory, it is pure Truth. God is verifiable, not falsifiable. You can verify what Leo is saying. Falsehood doesn’t exit, only delusions exists.


-Can you give me proof of God’s existence?

No, it’s a personal journey that you go on, you have to cut through the illusions of social conditioning. It’s called Truth seeking, the spiritual quest, the “Hero’s Journey”. Don’t expect anybody to deliver it to you. God has the power to fully deceive itself and also the power to awaken.


-Don’t you exploit the gaps of science?

Science works to demystify reality, it succeeds to some extend, but it will never fully succeed because reality is infinite. In fact the more it tries, the more deluded it becomes.  

Take an apple cut in in half, you get more surfaces, cut in half, you get more surfaces and so on. There are always surfaces, but no substance to anything within reality. The substance of reality is nothing, the gap, the emptiness between the surfaces that unifies all the surfaces into a Oneness.


-What do you mean with God is nothing?

A nothing that exists and you can become conscious of it. An atheist and materialist have fully bite in to the illusion of physical reality, but also they also don’t recognize that reality is subjective and relative. There is no objectivity. Reality is however you hold it. There are no human beings, human being is the Universe being sentient of itself, God consciousness that you’ve confused for human beings, your parents, your friends are just figments of your imagination. Leo explains he had the traumatic insight that his parents never existed.

Reality is alive, sentient and a-mechanical. The sentience, the aliveness that you feel, that is not yours, that’s the universe being alive and you are just a piece of that. That’s a big reframing of how you see reality. Reality is one spontaneous occurrence, therefor you can’t explain it through any mechanical process, it’s instant and direct.

Atheists are also missing the importance of love, not recognizing that Being is Love. The physical substance of existence is made of love.

Atheists don’t recognize oneness, they think of the world as being fragmented. But you are not really interfacing with the universe through perceptions, you are the universe.

Atheists don’t recognize space/time, matter/energy, cause & effect, birth & death as illusions. You might say yes you know that time is relative and so on, but you are not conscious of that…  they are all concepts.

Atheists don’t recognize higher states of consciousness, and believe that everything can be understood from their currant state of consciousness. If you’d change that state of consciousness just a little bit, all your doubts, fears and concern would change! Science is completely contingent on your courant state of consciousness. 

Atheists don’t recognize that consciousness is not a by-product of the brain.

Atheist don’t recognize science as limited. To understand God you got to use other methods. Can you prove that science can resolve every question?

Atheists don’t recognize the existence of paranormal phenomena, at higher states of consciousness you can access various paranormal phenomena.

The atheist doesn’t recognize that he as God has created himself.

The atheist doesn’t recognize that all dualities and all knowledge he uses to understand the world is manmade or conceptual.

The atheist doesn’t recognize that he is God.

The atheist doesn’t see that reality has no limits. Outside the physical universe is infinity where anything is possible.


-Can God be an hallucination or an illusion?

You can trick yourself that you are conscious of God, but when you are conscious of God, that is unmistakable, you become conscious of God through no intermediary, not through language, symbols, perceptions, not even through experience. It’s direct.


-Can God be a brain state?If you can experience God by taking 5MEO-DMT, doesn’t it prove that God is just a chemical? 

No, everything is consciousness, the 5MEO-DMT that you take is consciousness, consciousness interacting with consciousness. When you take 5MEO-DMT, you forget you ever had a brain and the existence of the universe, you realize that it is not brain state, not a chemical, not a neurotransmitter, it is God. God is absolute Truth, there is nothing like it and you whole reality collapses when you realize that.


-How can you trust that psychedelics reveals anything true at all?

This can’t be explained to you unless you take psychedelics in a sufficient dose that you have a breakthrough experience. You will say “oh that’s impossible!”, you got to stop trusting your mind of what is and what’s not possible. You cannot know what is outside the matrix when you are inside the matrix.


-How can you be sure that you’ve been outside the matrix?

To exit the matrix is to realize that there is matrix inside of another matrix inside of another matrix to infinity. To realize God is to realize that there is nothing but matrix within matrix. What you’re living right now is just hallucination and psychedelics show you that there is no other possibilities than hallucinations, a meta-truth.


-Could there be something beyond God? Could God be part of a computer simulation? 

You are treating God a s a phenomenon, like seeing some alien. You can replace the word God with “everything” or “totality”, those terms are expendables and goes beyond itself forever, it’s the process of “beyonding” forever by definition. If you imagine something more is possible, you haven’t understand the notion of totality. A computer simulation is a very finite thing. They occur within God but God doesn’t occur within a computer simulation.


-How do you know that the infinity you are talking about wasn’t generated by something else?

God can only interact with itself. God has to limit itself for not being conscious of everything all the time. How do you play a chess game alone? It’s like playing chess alone with the right hemisphere of the brain running the whites, and the left hemisphere running the blacks. God tricks himself with false separations and generate the possibility of surprise.


-Can God create a rock that he himself cannot lift?

The Godhead is infinite potential, it can limit itself in forms, forms have limitations.


-Can God destroy himself?

Destruction is a concept that make sense within the roam of forms, but you cannot destroy the vacuum of empty space. It can destroy himself as incarnated versions like you, or as a star, it’s the fate of all forms, formlessness itself is the only permanent thing.


-How do you know that your experiences of God are not confirmation bias of some stuff that you’ve read?

When you have these absolute Samadhi experiences, all your conceptual knowledge flies out the window, you are in truth of it and this is self-validating. You can read about all human beings being unreal, when you have the experience of it, you won’t want to accept it, it is the opposite of confirmation bias. Leo never wanted God to be true, he studied ancient texts


-How can you be so that you are right? Shouldn’t we be more humble with our truth claims?

False humility is no virtue… Leo is just being honest. Absolute Truth is the nature of absolute Truth, wether you are conscious of it or you are not. If you are not conscious of it, you can’t understand how absolute truth can be possible. It’s a certainty, it’s not like scientific knowledge, you need to experience it to find out. To make the claim that we don’t know what God is a big agnostic mistake, because you are actually saying: we can’t know.


-Is it possible to have a false experience of God? If so, how can you be certain that you haven’t misunderstood God?

Yes it is possible, to have a false experience, but when you have awaken, you know what awakening is, but even so, you can trick and delude yourself, self deception is still occurring after your firsts enlightenment experience, this is why Leo is always crosschecking with other mystics and texts, continuously studying himself, and even so, he never claimed to be infallible, he is still open for recontextualisation of any kind. But the actual experience of God is not a self-deception. Certain lower degrees experience can be self-deceptive.


-If God is all loving, how come there is so much evil in the world? Why is there so much suffering?

There is no such thing as evil, it is a projection of your ego mind. From your point of view, you are a limited biological creature and you need to survive. What you call evil is what is threatening to your survival as a limited formed being within this larger universe, you are vulnerable to having your form radically changed… death. You believe suffering exists, because it is a mechanism within you that helps you to avoid dangerous situations. Without suffering, you wouldn’t be alive. When God incarnated itself, it makes itself limited, it obligated itself to play the game of survival which necessitates pain and suffering. From God’s perspective the world is perfect.

It’s like looking at a horror movie from the audience point of view or from the point of view of a character of the movie itself. The goal is to not feel too much sucked in the movie. You can’t believe that this actually applies to your life, and it is the most important thing that there is, death is the worst thing there is, suffering feels so bad, you confuse all the suffering and the pain for reality because you are egotistical and selfish, you had to be to experience the universe at all. You are God caught in a bind. As human beings we are addicted to excitement, violence, horror, sex, food, suffering and pain. Secretly you don’t want to give up your suffering to be happy, if you did, you’d be awake a long time ago.


-If God is all loving and good, how come he doesn’t care if we are murders, rapists and so forth?

It’s because it is so all loving that it doesn’t judge. You as an ego, because you care about survival and have something to lose from it, you judge murder, rape, criminality and war as bad and wrong. You created an identity of being moral, good and upright, viewing yourself as a defender against all the bad guys. But you are full of hatred, you hate murder, rape and war… God loves it all, which is why they exist. This love is too radical for you, you are not ready to embody this love because you have way too much to lose, you have life, your children, your money, your business,…, to defend. You are not ready to be all loving. For you to be all loving, you’d have to be dead, you’d have to be the Godhead, not this incarnation as a human being… or you’d have to be conscious.


-If God is all loving, why is it not evenly hateful?

Evil doesn’t really exit, it exits only from the ego mind’s point of view. In a sense, God is evil and hateful, but it is doing it through humanity. God loves evil and hate so much that it doesn’t mind living through it as a human being. God wants to know what it’s like to be murdered, getting raped, being a slave or in concentration camp and so on. Hate and evil is visible only from a limited point of view.

Do you think God created everything except murder and rape? He created everything included all the stuff you consider evil. It’s only evil from your point of view.


-Is there a devil? If so, did God create evil?

The devil refers to the mechanism of survival, the ego, separation, illusion and falsehood, not a red man with horns. You are the devil, the thing that is going to die is the devil. God created that, not only created it, but God is the devil. We are talking about oneness, totality. You cannot separate ego or the devil from God. Stage blue people in spiral dynamics looses it right here saying that the devil and God are polar opposite… If the devil exist, then it is part of creation, who created everything? God. The devil is God in disguise. God will incarnated himself into devilish forms, create selfishness and through that, God experience what it’s like to be a devil.  


-Why is mainstream religion so confusing, diluted and inaccurate? Why don’t they explain it in a straight forward manner?

Religion is very tricky and you have appreciate where it comes from. It’s problematic to evaluate old religions from a modern perspective. There was no notion of science back then. They didn’t share modern values. How do spread the idea of God with very tribal people that are not scientifically minded,  who don’t know how to read, ethnocentric and racist and so on, you will use a lot metaphors and analogies. This stuff was passed down often times as stories, not even written down. The people who wrote it down and passed it down hundreds of years after Jesus’s death , were not even enlightened. Jesus, Buddha, Mohamed were maybe enlightened but they didn’t have video recorder or even write any books themselves. Back then, what is good and bad what advanced stuff, you didn’t even had countries.

The ego corrupts all these teachings. Countries and states, rulers and kings used religions to enroll the masses, justify their own rule, make war and so on… The problem with God is that it is such a personal subjective realization that you can’t spread it through mass means. Some fanatics will only believe the teachings, not doing the teachings by himself, wait until you are dead and then create a cult, an ideology.


-Why do all the religions disagree so much?  How do you know you study the text properly? 

They all agree with each other, if you look and study the text properly. 

You need direct experience, mystical experiences. When you have those, it becomes easy to sort the wheat from the chaff and to see the commonalities. The attitude to try to integrate religions is only a 50 to 100 years old notion. When you don’t see religions holistically, than a lot of surface disagreements will seem as though they run all the way down to the bone, but they don’t.


-Isn’t religion responsible for most of the war and evil throughout history?

Yes, but technology, capitalism too. People are very tribal, selfish wether they know religion or not


-Why use the word God and not “reality” for example?

Everyone believe they know what reality is. Whatever word you use, there will be a lot of confusion around it, people will find ways to delude themselves about it. The ignorant mind can’t help to be ignorant. 


-Why do different religions have different visions of God?

Reality is one giant mind that uses different kinds of symbols. Even scientific understanding that you might think is literal, is actually symbolic and metaphoric. Your mind needs to make sense of the formless in a formed way. So the christian will have his vision with a vision of Christ and vice versa with a moslem, a Hindu, and also as an equation for a scientist. Your understanding of God is going to be filtered through your culture. 


-Aren’t you stealing ideas from eastern religions?

No, but the eastern teachings are less corrupt than the western teachings. No culture has a monopoly on God or the Truth.


-Buddhism and hinduism are different. Buddhism doesn’t have a God!

Buddhism has a God: The Ox, Buddha mind, Mu, nirvana, no-self, the Dharmakaya. The mistake many buddhist and Hindus makes is that they think there is a difference between the “buddhist no-self” and the “Hindu Self”, but they are degrees of awakening. For having consciousness of God you need to go beyond, not just being a self but to realize what is the ultimate self ,what is the nature of reality itself. You need to realize God as the formless but also as the form and unify the two together and that there are no distinctions. Buddhist have a God, but they don’t speak about it in the traditional sense. Buddhist don’t believe in a God per say, but they got practices that get them to the consciousness of your true nature, which is God or Mu, nirvana… 


-How can God be an experience?

A more proper word than experience would be Being or direct consciousness. When you come into contact with the Godhead, nothingness you have to integrate it with the experience that you are having here, see that the pure Void is identical to the sensory feedback you have “down here”. You can recontextualize the experience you are having here to the point that it’s not an experience anymore, that will be absolute Truth.


-Why do you cross-reference your sources if God is a direct experience?

Because you can trick yourself and become a Zen-devil, which is pursuing Zen practices without reading the scriptures. 


-Why don’t you kill yourself and become God?

There is a reason why God incarnated this life, you are here to experience this life. If you kill yourself, you are going to end up right back here, there is nowhere to go, God is constantly reincarnating himself, you will just have another form. While you are in this incarnation, do the most out of it, do the work to become enlightened. You don’t want to wait until your last breath to realize God and do spiritual practices unless you want to realize on that day what you have missed and be miserable with yourself and others. The point is to live a conscious life.


-How can ego exist in the presence of God?

God is all powerful and is able to present a situation where it forget itself, it has to awaken to itself. The God’s head incarnated itself into forms it can see the full ramification of what it is. God is becoming conscious of himself, not only as humans but also as animals and bacterias. 


-What is the point of talking about God?

To realize that it’s a possibility, it transforms your life, opens the possibility to live with a true genuine joy, health and well being. 

To point you to technics to achieve that and point out the trickeries and traps. 

To inspire you to live it, not only to listen to the possibility.


-Will science ever be able to understand God?

The way science is defined today, no. It will have to open itself more to mysticism and non-symbolic methods of investigation like first person experience, scientists will have to take psychedelics. The bridge between mysticism and science as we do it today is already starting to happen today by a few pioneers. The line between science and mysticism is a line that the human mind is drawing, it’s not a hard line that exists in the world.


-Can’t we give more time to science to answer all questions and realize that we don’t need mysticism at the end?

No, it has to include mysticism. Modern science has serious limits, it only works through language, concepts and through the mind and there are aspects of reality which are true and are beyond the mind, that needs to be access through methods that are not equations or rulers and particles colliders and photographs.


-Is it possible that science and spirituality work together in the future?

Yes, to help to integrate the two together is Leo’s greatest contribution to mankind, laying the epistemic foundation to the reform of science.


-If God is alone does it feel lonely or is God sufficient in itself? 

The Godhead doesn’t have any quality but when incarnated as form, God feels lonely! When you will be awake, you won’t feel lonely even if you are alone.


-Why are some people very curious about God and others are not?

People are born with different brain types and genetics and also went to different schools. Some people are more interested than others in metaphysical questions. Some people are born more spiritually gifted. Many spiritual advanced people might have been killed throughout the ages in favor of the kings, dictators and tyrants who wanted to rule the world.


-By what mechanism does God create things?

There is no mechanism, what you see is exactly the mechanism. The entire universe is spontaneously, a-mechanicaly existing, it’s just being. The mechanism only appears to you when are looking through it using the human mind, making sense of little pieces of it, breaking it apart and making it seems like there is a mechanism of cause and effect. The problem is, you are not conscious of it, it is literally one solid miracle. Scientists are pushing the experience down to the point where they can’t explain it anymore (with quarks or even equations being at the source of our experience) and say maybe we will know in a 1000 years what is beyond those. But it is so direct you can’t point to it, you can’t know or explain it, but you can become conscious of it, the pure manifestation of nothingness 


-Where did God come from?

God always existed and will exist forever. The formless Godhead is eternal, but forms needs to be created, so you created your own body and mind. It’s a paradox, it’s both eternal and you created yourself.


-Why did God create itself?

Because it want to experience itself, it’s a never ending process of self creation and being.


-Can God be an alien or artificial intelligence?

No, God includes both.


-Could God have evolved?

No, but at the same time it is constantly evolving.


-How do you reconcile God with darwinian evolution?

Design and evolution are actually the same thing. When a human being designed buildings this is evolution too. All this happens in a larger context in the mind of God, all that is happening with intelligence and sentience, it didn’t happen through randomness and chaos.


-If I created myself as God, why did I create this shitty life?

You do have the option to change your life at anytime, feel free to exercise the option of spiritual development to grow yourself and awaken. Imaging what it was like in the roman days where 40% the roman population were slaves. God is in love with any situation you can imagine to be, it doesn’t judge, it lives through any possible scenario that a human can live through, you as God will live through all that, so depression, death, cheating, lying… That’s why the Buddha said that life is suffering, the only solution to that is to awaken. Awakening allows you to deal gracefully with any kind of shitty life. It’s so easy to loose your happiness in life because it is so conditional. 


-Is it possible to become conscious at all times, not only as peak experiences with 5MEO-DMT or only in some meditative state ? 

Yes, it is called Sahaja Samadhi, the ultimate state of Samadhi.


-How come people realize God and than fall back into duality?

The absolute Truth is such a huge thing that you are rarely going to get with one go, you will have to deconstruct your old way of building reality. he illusion is so powerful, it is almost hypnotic in how it sucks you back in, it requires a lot of work to overcome the temptation of going back to your previous state.


-Why does it have to be so hard to realize God?

Because of the survival drive, it is significant and responsible for everything in your life, it dominates your entire life. God is the undoing of the survival drive. God is the opposite of life, it is death from the ego’s point of view. Ego is also in your genes, forms of life without it must have been erased a long time ago. Changing the mind is a slow process, and it depends on how serious and committed you are.


-Can you realize God while having a family?

Yes, but don’t try to do it all at once.


-How come God can be realize through visualization, shouldn’t it be an obstacle?

One of the key to realizing God is concentration. Because the universe is a giant mind, what you imagine tends to become your reality, you can sort of materialize a vision of your deity and merge your sense of self into it and that can be how you realize God. Be careful with your deity like Christ, Buddha, Shiva, Krishna or anything else, as the biggest awakening is not going to have any form to it.


-Am I too young as a teen to pursue God?

No, if you like metaphysical questions, go for it. But you have take care of solving your survival too.


-Can God be experienced at any stage of the spiral in spiral dynamics?

Yes, how you experience it will be affected on where you are on the spiral. If you are at stage blue, you will have a very limited, ethnocentric, moralistic version of God. At stage orange you will have a very scientific version of God. The higher you are on the spiral level of development, the easier it will be for you to have mystical experiences and to interpret them properly. So it’s important you evolve to stage yellow or even turquoise.


-Why does God needs to self-realize?

It doesn’t. God’s whole point is just to be and exist.


-Is God personal or impersonal?

Both, we can think of the universe as filled with impersonal objects and atoms, but at the same time, as you as a human are part of it, you are the universe, so the universe has human qualities. You are the human quality of the universe. You have to integrate the personal and the impersonal together. It’s a very personal experience when you become really conscious of who you are as God and at the same, there is a sense of no-self.


-Does God take an active role in manipulating our lives?

The Godhead itself, no. But as everything is moving in and outside your body it is also manipulating our lives all the time.


-Does God have an agenda, where is creation going?

No, there is no point besides just being, but at the same, that evolutionary process from our human perspective that is unfolding, it seems like it evolves to greater complexity, greater self-awareness. God is getting more and more complex and might one day reach infinity.



-Which is more true pantheism or panantheism?

Pantheism says that everything, all of reality is God. Panantheism says all of reality is inside of God. Both are true, you might experience them separately but also simultaneously and overlapping each other.


-How did mankind first learned about God?

Back then, there wasn’t so much distraction so they could have been seating around a lot, meditating, but also through the use of psychedelics like mushrooms around the entire world. Herbalism and shamanism dates back from tens of thousands of years at least. And some people are naturally born spiritually gifted. 


-Why did God decide to take on my particular human form?

God is taking all possible form simultaneously, one of which is particular human form.


-Why did God create humans and animals?

God is going to take on anything that it can. In comparison with a rock, humans and animals can experience what it’s like to be some sentient entity. Humans are a step above animals in their ability to interface with the universe.


-How can the realization of God be used as a human perspective?

The ego loves to ask this question, you can become famous and get a lot of sex, but you can also elevate the consciousness of mankind. You can teach, master your emotions, improve how you do science, become hyper-creative, become a better athlete, a better parent, improve your relationship and sex life. Consciousness improves everything do, even business, it can transform your business or your relationship. Awakening might end one relationship and form new ones that will be much healthier and conscious.


-Does realizing God gives you special powers and abilities?

Yes it can. Magical healing, clairvoyance, telepathic abilities, abilities to see auras and so on, but there is no guaranty.


-Are miracles possibles?

Everything is a miracle, this very moment right now is a miracle. But, yes paranormal stuff can happen, synchronicity can happen, we can’t know how much from the past is true, if Jesus walked on water for example, but healing can definitely happen.


-Is everything in the Bible false?

No, but there are racist, ethnocentric, closed minded and factually incorrect stuff. There is also good stuff like when Moses talks with God and he ask God: “Ok, I will go back to my people and tell them that I saw God but what shall I call you?” God answers: you can tell them that “I Am”, my name is “I Am”. Or when Jesus says that the kingdom of heaven is found within, that’s a good pointer, nirvana is found within. But there is a lot of misleading stuff in the Bible, so Leo doesn’t recommend it as a high quality spiritual text. There are much better modern books to teach you the practices and make you realize what the Bible is pointing to.


-What is our duty towards God, shall we worship and pray to God?

In the greater sense you have no duty, you just have to be. In another sense, your duty is to awaken, raising awareness of the entire cosmos, to participate in this evolutionary game that God is playing. The problem when you pray to or worship God, people are doing it under the presumption of a duality between God and themselves. So the thing you are praying to is exactly yourself. Worshiping and praying is a sort of masturbation. There is nothing to worship but yourself.


-What does God want from us?

Nothing, be whatever you want to be. But try to be as conscious as you can, try to appreciate your own magnificence as God, otherwise you are going to miss the beauty of life. It’s like going to theater to watch a great movie and not looking at the screen. You can just turn around and look at a beautiful movie. But if you want to sit backward, it’s fine too.


-Will following my religion lead me to God, shall I abandoned my religion?

Leo is allergic to ideologies, dogmas and fundamentalism, he recommends that you abandon your religion because it’s going to get in the way. It’s brainwashing, you can never lose the only truth that there is, which is God. You don’t need a religion. You don’t need a belief systems.


-My religion, already says all you are talking about, aren’t you just rehashing the same stuff?

Leo talks from a higher level, the books from the main religions are very ethnocentric, there are not truly holistic, religions try to be exclusive, it is also dogmatic, it is not empirically based and not integrated with modern science. You need to go beyond. We have modern psychological insights, quantum mechanics, chaos theory, anthropology, sociology, economics, linguistics, post-modernism, modern philosophy… there is so much stuff beyond what you learn in the Bible, the Koran, classical Buddhism or Vedanta. You have to adapt your spiritual practice to fit the modern world to deal with new technological complexities and realities. Holy books don’t talk about spiral dynamics, shadow work or psycho-pathologies that weren’t known back then.


-What are the most important requirements for realizing God?

1)Lazer focus concentration abilities for hours on end

2)Radical open-mindedness

3)Genuinely metaphysically curiousity.  


-How can I know that I can trust you?

You shouldn’t, you have to validate and verify everything that Leo says, discover what is true for yourself. But don’t mistrust Leo in a cynical sort way too, you have to have open-mindedness to consider this all as a possibility. You can’t be as much untrustful that you can’t run the experiment for a few years.



These questions and answers can go on forever, these are just stories, you are not going to figure out God through question and answer because it’s a great way to avoid to do the actual work. Actually, at some point these answers becomes an obstacle. You have to discover those answers by yourself, it’s like discovering the answers at the back of the book of your maths problem, rather than solving them yourself. The only way to understand God is to awaken to God, to become God, to look and feel yourself as God, from that will come all the answers. 

Remember that you can’t awaken before you awaken. Try to be comfortable not knowing for awhile while doing the practices, trust that one day you will figure it out.

One awakening is not enough to understand everything Leo says here, it took him over a dozen awakening experiences to come that far.


actualized.org will help you find God with the latest potent and cutting edge stuff.

Who Am I to judge? When I think I know, I don't know that I don't know.

"Things don't change when they are understood. Understanding reinforces the intellect (the ego). The seeker has to make room to the meditative state."

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This is amazing, thank you to all the contributors. Super helpful

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