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@Ilan Don't take psychedelics, if you have side effects from antipsychotics, talk about it to the psychiatrist. Psychedelics can worsen your situation, and your not stable. Especially if you're not stable psychedelics are going to worsen psychosis and schizophrenia. Leo said it. If you have troubles with psyche, don't take psychedelics. If you want to talk about awakening, ask a teacher who is familiar with what you're going through. Every teacher is going to tell you;"Keep taking your medication and do this and that". No stupid things! No spiritual or physical suicide!

I don't want to live dangerously anymore. He is my King I don't want to cut myself or suicide anymore. I want to live for him. He is my eternal soulmate. He knows how I feel. I don't even need to say. I'm the luckiest girl in the universe I'm feeling blessed just by his presence. When he talks to me, my heart starts racing and pounding. I feel something something. He makes my heart go racing so badly Even when he looks into my journal, my heart skips a beat. He makes me feel so happy and so mysterious and special all at the same time. He makes me become lost in trance.

Don't even talk or think about suicide. Whenever that thought came up, just scratch it and replace with thoughts of abundance, lots of wealth, good food and love! Namaste!

@Marcel don't talk to that troll. By talking to them we give them fodder. I won't respond to him. You don't respond either. Simply report the troll and block from ignore list immediately. If he sends you a message, simply delete conversation. He wants my attention very desperately. All of his effort is to get my attention. Maybe he has jealousy issues or something else. He is certainly not happy that I'm happy. I can see that his psyche is determined to torture me on this forum. But he won't succeed. We both need to be extremely patient because he ain't going away that easily looking at his stubbornness and the rate at which he is doing this. Let him continue. Keep reporting. But don't read any of what he writes. Simply report and block or ignore immediately as soon as he posts. We continue talking to each other the way we used to and ignore this troll. It is the test of our patience and strength of character, not letting it impact will teach a lesson that nobody can harm us without our will. He is not even a big deal. There are far bigger problems in society and in life. I pity that he thinks he is a big shot doing this. He is thinking that doing all this will cause me suffering. But he is WRONG. I'm actually enjoying my life. So don't respond to him at all. We don't need to give him energy. Our energy belongs to us. Dealing with online trolls also needs skill and strategy that we both will eventually learn and it will only help us. Your patience is the antidote to such things. Be extremely patient and absolutely do not react and don't even get angry. Your anger is his victory. Your happiness is his defeat. I'm not at all angry. I'm not letting this person impact me at all. Btw I have dealt with bullies and trolls all my life, this is not the first time nor is this the last time. Trolls feed on the responses you give them. So don't give any response. Just look at him with pity and humor, alright! He needs our compassion, yet we shouldn't encourage his behavior and immediately report it. Don't waste your anger on such people. We have to act matured here and not lose ourselves or our goals in life because of trolls, bullies, abusers, stalkers, haters. They can't do anything more than what they believe they can. We being rattled over it only gives them more fuel and fodder to continue doing what they do and expand on it. So please ignore and keep that troll out of your head please. And be calm and happy for my sake! I was popular in school, I have dealt with haters all my life, I'm getting used to it. They can hate me all they want, but It doesn't stop me from progressing in life. One of my great objectives in life was to fight bullies and cyberbullying. I have seen people especially teens commit suicide and kill themselves because of harassment. In India, millions of people commit suicide every year because of bullying and harassment. This is a menace of our society and the only antidote is personal strength, bravery and resilience. You don't let them win. You win. I wish I could start an organization to put an end to bullying that happens in schools so there would be no more suicides. But my spirit is eternal. The eternal spirit will eventually bring justice and peace in this world, till then we gotta be strong and keep going. My goal is to always inspire humanity to be better, to do better collectively, and this is not for a pat on my back or accolade or some trophy or praise/compliment, I genuinely feel this world needs inspiration through courage and goodness. One day the Good will win, evil will be Defeated. I have always believed in this Christian principle. To me its not religious, it's spiritual. My psychic power is extremely strong. Even after my death, my psychic energy will continue to bless the world and show them hope and love. That's my internal strength and power that no troll or bully can steal from me. My eternal spirit will continue to bring peace and courage and comfort to those who feel defeated, those who feel powerless, those who feel victimised, those who feel upset or depressed. God has given enough grace. He has kept me alive for so long through my struggles. He will continue to keep me alive. The spirit of love and grace doesn't stop, doesn't give up God is love and love is God, is what I've known ever since I was a child. That is still the greatest teaching in my life and it will always be. Age old truths simply don't die out, they continue to stand the test of time and keep being proven right all over again even in modern times. Time doesn't beat truth. I have suffered so much in life, that makes me Empathetic to what people go through in life like suicide, depression, health issues, family issues, and the list is endless. The goal is to rise above it and continue to grow and never give up. Life is not just problems. There can be happy times as well. Focus on what good can be brought in every situation, no matter how small or tiny, if it is good, that's all that matters, we are not here to create success on this planet, but to heal and bring good and remove bad, in fact when we bring good, bad automatically vanishes. Always be the better person, take the higher road, take the higher ground. Nothing beats devilry better than we taking the Higher Road. All of the sickness suddenly disappears when we focus on Sunshine. So cheer up @Marcel and this troll can't take away our sunshine. You take care.

Can we all just admit how scary this whole thing is? Life is brutal. You make one mistake and everyone hates you and your life is over. All the success you build can be taken away in an instant with one bad decision. I am personally going to study suicide so if the time comes I know how to do it effectively. It's a profound balancing act, and it goes on and on and on and on... A decision you made 20 years ago is still in ways with you today. I get this whole thing is divine, love etc. But, it's also kind of sick and twisted. I want to be successful in my life, but living a life as a failure who everyone hates and demonizes... I won't stick around for that. I understand this response is fear based. I feel a lot of fear if I am honest in my life. If reality is infinity, I still don't feel satisfied with many of Leos explainations of love. I mean, obivously it's love but it's expression seems arbitrary.

I have suicidal thoughts because there are aspects of reality which are super shit, and I am still learning to accept them and course correct. I am eternal, and I don't need to stick around in some shit situation for the rest of my life. Obviously, putting in the work and growing through mistakes, emotional labour etc is ideal compared to suicide. But, If I find myself painted into a corner and there is no getting out of it. I'll take my chances.

A person cannot simply stop thinking about it. They need to be talked out of it. Time, compassion, patience and love can help with talking a person out of suicide. It's some work but someone got to do that work. Also being non judgemental about suicidal people goes a long way in healing them.

@Marcel You're so open minded. You challenge me whenever I ought to be challenged. I like how you take interest in things that I'm interested in. When I talk about politics, you correct me and tell me your views. I find it fascinating because I learn from you. Don't be hesitant or scared to argue with me. I am never offended when you dispute me on the forum. I'm good at debating and I'm very open minded to new opinions and ideas. So I won't be hurt or offended if you argue my views. In fact I feel good that you want to be eager to learn with me. I am never afraid of fights or arguments. I used to have endless arguments and fights with my ex boyfriends hahaha, but mostly in good spirit. I never fight in a bad spirit. If I ever fight in a bad spirit, your ass will be placed in boiling water I remember my ex saying I'm the most fiery woman he ever met. don't worry, I will mostly be very sweet with you, but you can never tell. If I get angry (which I often get ), my violent temper will be managed really well, you are already good at it. You pacify my fire. I'm a water sign. You're an earth sign. Whenever I'm angry, just say "calm down" and I'll instantly calm down. That's how easy it is. That's the code word. I'm like a lion during my anger outbursts but usually I'm as cool as a cucumber. I am usually sweet girly shy silent and very affectionate. I am never nosy. I keep to myself and remain mostly peaceful. But when I'm angry I can be quite hot tempered and give someone quite a hard time. I am not dominating at all. I don't like being dominant in a relationship. So I'm like a sleepy lion usually. Nothing provokes me usually. When I am angry I show my anger by throwing objects at a wall. I have broken many many objects. It's my way of showing anger. But I don't yell. Just throwing objects or cutting myself. I become suicidal or self destructive. I don't scream in anger. I don't like screaming. Just throwing objects in air or crashing objects on the wall. It's my way of showing aggression. But I remain silent even during my anger outbursts. I cry a lot. I usually cry when my trauma is triggered. I'm extremely introverted. So you have to be very sensitive to have a successful connection with me. Only when you are very deep with me, I can openly cry in your arms. Otherwise I tend to hide my tears. This is INTP behavior. If I cry I cry very badly and for long hours, it's almost like weeping and highly emotional. I had seizures as a child. Letting you know that I'm hyper emotional. My father died many years ago. My mother was abusive. My siblings were unsupportive. I had many cats growing up. I have a spiritual connection with cats. My mother sold those cats. So it was a painful experience losing my cats.. One of my cats died because my neighbor murdered the cat. That was when I was 14 years old. My father had a stroke when I was a child and he died later in my teens. I grew up around a narcissist mother and it impacted my self esteem. I felt unloved and uncared. My first suicide attempt was at the age of 15. I had numerous suicide attempts after that. I have a scar on my wrist where I tried cutting myself 2 months after my father's death. I was hospitalized because of that suicide attempt. I am an HSP - hyper sensitive person. I suffer PTSD So if you have to hold me then you need to hold me on the palm of your hand like this Bunny in strong hands... I definitely need loving firm hand to support me. I call it bunny in strong hands. This is an overall snapshot of my overall personality. Just so you know who you're dealing with. I'm not dangerous. I have never been violent. I take out my anger on objects

In my country i heard a new like this. On the start of corona pandemic a man got fever and thought was having corona and he want to save the village hence commited suicide

The Beatles & Hendrix were truly a blessing, pawed a way for others, like these guys for example, whose music you might like if you enjoy progressive/psychedelic rock. The guitarist/vocalist is pure talent. Probably the best finnish guitarist to date. Sadly, he committed suicide after only three albums.

Enlightenment is the only solution to true happiness. True happiness can only be achieved from a foundation of truth. All other forms of happiness are distortions of the ego mind. True happiness is not found in the many manifestations of form, nor is it found by abiding in the formless (yet abiding in formlessness is actually much more pleasurable than form, once the taste is acquired). True happiness is found in the simultaneous expansion and contraction of form and formlessness, birth and death, arising and passing, in breath and out breath. True happiness is neither perception, nor non perception, neither being nor non-being, neither everything nor nothing. True happiness is that great equilibrium that unifies all, that is one. Don’t mistake this for neutrality though. It is only by stepping into this emptiness can one be truly happy. So overall what is the point of this work? To become conscious of what you really are. Overall, what is the point of becoming conscious of what you really are? Lasting happiness. Overall, what is the point of lasting happiness? All beings naturally, and spontaneously move towards this type of satisfaction, yet from a place of ignorance hence why they are never satisfied. Even if you pretended happiness wasn’t what you were seeking, your actions say otherwise. We’re all always moving in an attempt to cope with our existential circumstance ie moving to find happiness in this world. We’re all already doing it, effortlessly, but failing spectacularly. We could never not chase happiness either. Even depression, self destructive behaviors, and suicide are forms of seeking happiness, it’s just much more obvious how these strategies are failing than if one is say, running a successful business and ‘happy’ with their work. Both examples are still suffering due to a fundamental ignorance. Samsara is not where ultimate happiness resides. Only you are.

@Person0 Start by understanding cruel is not a property of ‘the world’, but of thoughts, behaviors & actions of people in it. Then understand the ‘why’ people do what they do is ultimately love. This requires learning and expanding your mind & perspective, vs projecting onto ‘the world’, or continuing to see things the same way while it feels so discordant. What you might not be realizing is that if there is love & peace in this place, it gets here through you… and it changes everything. It makes life sweet, divine, and so much more than worthwhile. There are really no words which can convey just how much loving, understanding, accepting & forgiving can change ‘the world’ and your entire experience of it, and how this all starts with you. Just you, not you untangled with a past or future or others. It is within your power and your power alone to create suffering or not. Get all the help available to you obviously, but recognize you must make that choice to move from trauma & projection to understanding & liberation. There are millions of people passionate about helping you with where the water is, how to uncover it, etc, but no one can make you drink it. You have to want to. You have to choose to put how you feel well above what you think, others, a past, your life - everything. And I really mean what you think about anything and everything. Past, future, yourself, others, reality, God, Love. Life will not do. Death will not do. Suffering will not do. Only truth, love & understanding will do. Don’t attempt to hold perspectives of discord, and accept them. That’s not what acceptance is. Don’t accept the discord, the suffering - transcend it by owning it, taking responsibility for choosing perspectives of discord or alignment, recognizing it is not ‘the world’ which feels off - but your own views & perspectives. Please don’t use this comment to ‘add to the fire’, so to speak. Use it to start to Realize you must be pretty infinitely Good - because some perspectives just don’t jive with the Goodness you eternally are. Also, when you do make that choice, the Inner Kriya… all the stuff you learned from therapists which seemed like it didn’t help, totally helps. That choosing of well being changes everything, and all that stuff you learned is made new in love & understanding. It can not possibly be overstated - nothing needs to be added, things need to be let go. The truth, the true nature, you - are like a cork. When the self imposed weight upon is let go, you float, rise, feel & know the Goodness that you are, effortlessly. There are people specifically trained and uniquely compassionate who can help with suicidal thoughts… https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html https://www.suicidehotlines.net/international.html

Do you have any interest in Spiritual Awakening? This is dying and being able to come back, but with all the knowledge of who you really are, what is death, what is God, what is Love, what is Reality, etc. The cost of an Awakening is you have to have the courage to surrender to your *death. So in a way, being suicidal is a blessing for this. My loving of life prevents me from making this surrender to death. I guarantee you that if you had a full blown spiritual awakening experience, you would have a completely different view on life, and would have no desire whatsoever in comitting physical suicide. *To clarify, Death as in spiritual death when taking a high dose of a psychedelic like 5-MEO.

@Loba with me it feels like I'm constantly feeling a "Light". A buzzing light feeling. However, the light is almost wants to form a new ego, and it's extremely arrogant, and sees itself as not human. It can't generate much compassion for others, it instead looks down. So it might be a temporary alter ego, will have to see if it remains. What I want is for this light to strongly remain or become integrated in some way. It shows me very important things, in regards to strength of character as well The new ego wishes to talk and talk as well, prior to this, not so much. But I should go back to the contemplation and meditation gold mines when I can. Seems I was already in the dark maybe, but some light came along and just made the feast more spectacular -- Edit: So after meditating again, I had the kundalini ish phenomena of body jerking/shaking rising and rising, before exploding into silence. I imagined another voice inside my head briefly. Its my imagination rather than psychosis. The experience was more tame and shorter. Whatever the Lucifer or Light alter ego was, its faded for now, but not the sensations of it. Still some glow. I shed a few tears as I did a half hearted surrender of "it". Since all these things can and are happening in such a short span of time, from hereon in I'll try to get accustomed to this being the new normal. As opposed to panicking so much that I rush to others out of panic and guidance, and see every micro-occurrence within the day as worthy of lengthy elaboration. It is not worthy, but I can't help it when there's so much flux in such short time. I don't wish to internalise your ideology, but with the images and impressions, and perhaps added perspective I've had from recent experience, I'm pretty sure I've been working with "dark energy" for a while now. Many weeks and months. I just never labelled it that. The steps I've been taking, it's perhaps been to transition the ego and personality into something more dark. "I'll keep moving forward even if I find myself in hell" , that's what I tell myself anyway. "The choice has been between suicide or plunging into the dark". Since it is like that, I'm willing to become a demon if that is what's necessary. Whatever it takes, wherever I'm taken so long as it's not this I feel the dark now again, as opposed to lots of light, but traces of light remain It seems I use speech as a form of live action or way to explicit my mind, rather than using it to make factual statements or regular discourse. And it just spews out my mouth as something to do The words have been spoken, and I've laid myself bare. Speak anything you wish THE ONLY THING I'VE EVER BEEN TRULY POSSESSED BY IS A SINGLE POINTED MADNESS TO PUSH EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE USELESS ASIDE AND MARCH FORWARD OVER THE LITTER OF BURNING CORPSES THAT GET IN THE WAY

The heart is sad. As I posted in another place, the stuff we do to help our survival can end up hurting it and that can be a common theme - do something helpful and it causes pain and do something painful and it causes help.. it is counterintuitive. like we see we want to do stuff to aide our survival but then the choices we select actually hurt our survival in ways we didn't think about It can be helpful to try to look at the full repercussions to see what all we are doing is going to impact to see if the help is only temporary or long term and if/who/what that help ends up hurting. go for drugs and it is temporary help but then may have long term hurt go for a job with lots of money and it may help your bank account but hurt your heart and relationships; etc. we usually don't feel like suicide out of the blue - usually it is a combination of factors feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to I am sorry you are going through this. Lots of us are, myself included.

I should probably add (for those who haven't read about my stuff before) that I'm currently not suicidal. But sometimes I fantasize about making a sudden unplanned spontaneous suicide, but I think that the risk (chance) that I'll do it in the near future is low. @PepperBlossoms Thanks. @snowyowl Thanks.

@James12345 Well I'll have to see what I do with my life. These last few days have been very trippy. I'll have to see how this demonic/angelic energy changes me. I sense this is something to integrate, but something is pathological about it/me. "Every baby could get raped and it wouldn't matter". What got me to this point was "burning everything false" out of dissatisfaction, that's what got me "this far". Hate, scorn, pride and anger; this became my fuel to keep moving forward when in the depths of hell. Not even move forward, to survive and not commit suicide. There was nothing to rely on but myself. Pushing and pushing through with will. Now I'm just feeling strange about this all. I'm getting fed up of the overused vulgarity, it's just repetitive, but the idiom "caught with one's dick in one's hand" sprang to mind. [Likewise, I'm fed up with over used jargon like surrender or not resisting. If I use them one more time I'll vomit] Note that I'm writing this still in the short term whilst in the subtle afterglow of a crazy experience, only time will tell what I will really do with life. "For all I know, I'm at step 1"- no, I can't even remotely feign that. I have seen some shit, and I feel like my life will be changing directions. Honestly, it feels like maybe a part of me died. Will have to see

@asifarahim Did you get that information from Anime? No, divorce is not a sin there. It is only a sin in Christian, especially Catholic countries. Japanese would directly or indirectly murder themselves for the emperor (authority). That's why Japan has systemic problems such as karoshi (they literally work themselves to death for authority (their bosses)), suicide (they get very depressed after a lifetime of self-betrayal, for the sake of authority and society), and others. It's easy to understand why my ex-wife divorced me. It was because of her loyalty and devotion to authority (her mother). I didn't title this thread "Worst of Stage Blue" for nothing. No. But many Japanese have told me I look like them. And many of my countrymen have told me I look like a foreigner. I don't have mixed ethnicity. But I am very different from my countrymen, internally and externally.

I was quite emotionally numb about 7-8 years ago, it led to thoughts about suicide and other fun stuff. Don't let it slide! Do something about it! Therapy and counseling work to go through the reasons why you numb yourself. What protection mechanism is at play here? In my case, I numbed myself to feel less pain, but with total numbness, you can't feel joy either. A breakthrough I made with releasing my emotions fully was at Hoffman Process. Never was the same person again. Highly recommend it.

I have not watched the video yet, but I wanted to comment. Suicide is an unfortunate failure of the mind over the body. Not in some moralistic way, but in that we are all built with self-preservation and that even when life is difficult and painful we fight to stay alive. Sometimes we can be convinced that death is superior to life. Death is a part of life. It is the other side of the coin of life. It isn't something to shun or embrace. It just is, and when the time comes we will all encounter it. Trying to escape life just to be back with Unity with all and pure love misses the point of life. Most people who have had a near death experience have no fear of death or dying, but also realize that this life is why we are human. To experience this life, not prematurely move on. That being said, I am not against euthanasia or even suicide in some extreme situations. Terminal illness with no hope of recovery with debilitating pain and no quality of life. Sure, let me check out. But thinking I will somehow be better off dead just because I'm depressed or facing challenges in life? No.

@Preety_India as usual Leo is poor at using proper words and language. what he meant and what you proposed as logical cliams is so different. death or suicide is unSpritual by any definition. seek life, knowledge, love, etc which is christ sprit. sucide or death oriented things are crimes

Hello. I've been suffering from a feeling of not being here for five years now. I struggle to work, I struggle to study, it gets really hard to think and feel almost every moment of my waking life. I'm here because I want to start micro-dosing with LSD. It all went wrong when I took Magic Mushrooms, though. I've ended up in a mental hospital, because I nearly committed suicide. I actually almost broke my skull by myself on the floor. I've tried to solve it naturally, but the feeling of not being here is pretty severe and it did not change at all over the course of five years now. I am visiting a psychotherapist, psychiatrist, I am taking pills (anti-depressants, anti-psychotics and some other), I was in different mental institutions and also tried a different diet. I will now try the Carnivore diet, perhaps it helps, I might be poisoning my body without knowing so. But the point is, I need some advice on micro-dosing or maybe further reading. It really helps if I talk to someone or post to forums, though. If there's anyone with experience with micro-dosing or if the post resonates with you, please let me know (you can send me a message if you want)! Tim

This isn't my first rodeo. I'm not new to transcendence, psychedelics or working with "the void". My 5MeO experience was not about "the void" for me. It was about being so severely out of it I basically blacked out. I was chasing something. What thought I was chasing was ego death and oneness with the Absolute. What I got was a drug induced spanking and my only realization was that I was chasing an escape from being human, but the whole point of being human is to be human. If doing all this spiritual work does not manifest in your life, in maya, in the human realm of duality, time, space and ego, then what is the point? If all you want is to have a perpetual bliss of divine love etc, just kill yourself, take psychedelics everyday or go meditate in a cave someplace for the rest of your life. But then suicide and chronic drug use and decades of isolation are all just attempts to escape being human. Why not just embrace it? Be fully present and mindful / conscious of each moment AS a human? Why focus so much on transcendence? What are you trying to transcend, and why? Don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting that occasional experiences of transcendence, divine love, unity with all time and space etc. isn't worth pursuing. My realization is that these experiences are not what this life is about. For occasional use only. We need to stay grounded and integrate these experiences with the here and now of human experience. Otherwise it is spiritual narcissism and can lead to losing touch with this reality, psychosis and even suicide. Be here now people!

Hey my first real suicide attempt was actually doing shrooms I had before a few times but it wasn't all the way like shrooms. I sat in a puddle of blood in utter bliss knowing it's all over truly and I had latched onto thoughts of my mother and me when I was a child. I really learned my lesson when I got up and realized I wasn't going to die, I just sat still for a long time. I calmed down and contemplated what the actual fuuuck happened. Basically man it's like understanding you can choose to surrender or to resist, that's all it is. I know it's sooo simple to say this but it's really just having the awareness that with certain waves of feeling (although in the present moment of being in that state it can feel unbearable) it's actually mostly the resistance causing your freakout because you're still clinging onto your model of reality. Just surrender yourself into whatever happens, make a vow. Practice laying down and meditate by surrendering to everything whatever it is you're feeling no matter how horrible, just sink into it. Like stick your face into it and be with it, you'll see you can become meditative like this and have a lot more confidence knowing you won't get caught up in the trip and make it hell for yourself. But I must say I have built a lot of confidence by the traditional stuff rather than the insanely high states of consciousness psychedelics can put you in, I have spent a looooooot of time reading watching and thinking, practicing the more traditional stuff from buddhism, yogic practices etc and the ratio of traditional layed out brick by brick stuff that's all out there right now to doing psychedelics imo should be like 10:1 So I think if you're doing fuck all inbetween your trips to resolve stuff you will constantly be in that terror of not trusting yourself to let go fully.

Perhaps. The realization for me however was that this experience of being a human being, bound in time and space and illusion IS the reason we are having this experience of being human. This consensus realty we all experience may be the true hallucination, we are still having it. While it can have some value to peer beyond the veil to see maya for what it is, the purpose of being alive as a human is to experience being human, not flirt with nothingness. If you really think that a perpetual experience of Nothingness / God / Absolute truth is the goal, then suicide is likely the best option. But that is not why we are having a human experience. It is to live our lives, have experiences (both good and bad) within the relative matrix, share love and human connection and to value the beauty of this experience of being alive. There will be plenty of time for Eternity when we surrender back into the Void. But can you cook your dinner? Can you protect a hurt child? Can you make this worldly experience better for those around you? If not, then spirituality is really just narcissistic escapism. Being fully present and conscious in the ordinary is the goal of a spiritual practice IMO. Holding the hand of a dying loved one and letting the experience totally in, working on helping society and the Earth be better for everyone is the goal. Not experience transcendent states, live in bliss all the time or preach about solipsism, nihilism and spiritual narcissism.