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Right ok.. so all dualities collapse. Whats left is nothingness/the void or infinite consciousness we will say. I come back from that state, I now believe I am human again . You are talking to me, you are human(you have to eat/shit/sleep). There is a separation between us in this state of consciousness(in my eyes anyway). I make that distinction. I believe you are me in another form. You are saying no, there is no other form, I (TheZeroself) am not conscious?

Good day seekers, When you fully God-realize, when you fully awaken to omnipotence and omnipresence, does the body remain. Can you continue emagining and experiencing it from the human body, or are you pure nothingness, because having a body is kind of a trade-off. The physical body reduces your vibrations, densifies your body of nothingness into form, which cuts you off from your power. I think you can continue having a body, you can manipulate it, you have at your disposal whatever you can imagine off. You can also be in a scenario, whilst creating (imagining it) it at the same moment and the delay is close to 0. You can think up some stories now, can you not? You might dream something that you thought during the day. Can you not? It's just that when you are all-powerful, you can do it with the reality in front of you, not only in thought/imagination form in your current state of consciousness. The thing I am stuck on - when I become one with everything that is, my body was everything that is, not only the human body. There was no difference between the feeling of "I" between my arm, the air, the ceiling, the kitchen cabinet. Only I. So do I have to be in that ALLNESS POV, or can I cut myself off from that and still have full-blown power? I feel like Trump - only concerned with power. Or to be more precise, I don't want that fear-based fake power, I want the real deal baby! Jkjk. But not really. I realize that being all-powerful, some of the situations lose their meaning since there is no challenge. Yet, isn't there like a million things you would first experience before getting bored of that? Also, not sure how much Death reveals. How much does it raise my consciuosness? (Not thinking of suicide, don't worry guys :D) Anyway, perhaps someone figured this out? Would love to hear different perspectives to improve my understanding and contemplation. Thanks, non-existent at the time of writing guys.

@Leo Gura Also This NDE!!!!!!! I am telling you Leo These people who have had NDES really know what you are talking about. I came in this world very sensitive and aware and went through tons of suffering so I would try and question and reach for this love that I felt. This love that I had despite so much abuse. Ndes seemed to be my safe haven. Just before death, July 30, 1994: That morning I had driven about 400 miles with my secretary from San Francisco for a couple of meetings with some clients. For some reason, throughout that day I had been feeling somewhat uneasy, like this was a premonition of sorts. So, I had been in a quiet prayer mode the whole day. I had been invited by one of my clients, in the city of Glendora, for their 80-year-old mother’s birthday celebration. Afterwards, it was almost 11:30 p.m. by the time I was able to call it a day and leave for the hotel. I had thought that I would tell my secretary I was extremely tired and it would be better if she was the one to drive back to San Francisco after the birthday part. As destiny would have it, I was so tired I forgot to tell her while very mechanically getting into the driver's seat. Seatbelts were not mandatory in 1994. Without bothering to put on my seat belt, I started the car and began driving. After about 10 minutes on the road, car with two young boys was driving in the left lane. Suddenly, it swerved to the right, coming into my lane right in front of me, then stopping abruptly at the Stop sign that was just ahead. I had nowhere to go, so I slammed on the brakes; or so I thought! In my immediate shock and sleepy exhaustion, I had pressed down on the accelerator instead! The 560 SL is designed to go from 0 mph to 60 mph within seconds and that’s just what it did. I shot forward at full speed! CRAAAASH! In that moment of impact, I felt my whole body lift up, fly forward with great force, and hitting something. Next thing I knew, I was seeing this white stream of Light, travelling inside my body, which was also filled with a brilliant electric white Light! It looked like light travelling in light. As I looked at this moving light energy, I realized I was also experiencing it. This powerful, white energy which was moving from my solar plexus towards the top of my head. I was moving very fast. Yet, simultaneously, I appeared to be moving very slowly. Somehow, it seemed very natural for my movement to be slow and fast at the same time. Was I in perfect balance? There was no sense of duality. I knew that this light energy was my Prana, otherwise called life force. The Prana was moving upwards through my body, almost as if being pulled by some sort of magnetic power above my head. Just then, I experienced a sinking feeling, very much like one feels when beginning the plunge down a roller coaster. I felt myself go into a gentle convulsion with an upward movement. The next moment it was all gone. There was no light, no body, or anything. It was the strangest feeling, and yet so familiar. It was as though I had before experienced it many times. Without the body, I found myself floating alone in a dark void. I was totally confused as to where I was and what was really happening. All I could see was total darkness everywhere, but I wasn't afraid. At a distance, I saw a pale golden vehicle-like thing in the shape of a small boat. The boat was brilliant in its golden hue and it was coming towards me. The center hollow portion of this golden boat seemed to be filled with that same shimmering, brilliant white light I had seen inside my body. As it moved closer, I could see in the center on its ‘bed’ of white Light there was a very ethereal human body. The body was lying very still on its back, draped in a pale golden gown and glowing gloriously in the dark night. It was a magnificent sight to behold! As it came closer, my entire being went into shock when I saw the face of this body. It was me. 'Oh my God', I realized, 'I am dead.' I was completely jolted by this truth. I looked at myself for the first time and saw I had no body. I was just a spark of Light and was now linked to this sparkling boat. Almost immediately, the golden boat tilted upwards with the feet of the motionless body pointing upwards and head below it. The boat transported me faster than the speed of light, almost like a thunderbolt slicing through the dark night and disappearing into that void. Almost as if I had fully woken up after a long sleep, I found myself surrounded by an All-Pervasive Brilliance. There was no boat, no body structure, no dark void, nothing. There was only this dazzling, electrifying, brilliant white Light all around. The light was everywhere. There was nothing except this brilliant Consciousness! It seemed to have a consistency of the ever-finest, minutest electric-like sparkles and was energetically similar to the ‘bed of Light’ I had come on, except that this light was all-pervasive, limitless. It could perhaps be compared to the light of thousands of brilliant stars reflected in millions of sparkling diamonds, all-encompassing, self-luminous, and pulsating with electric energy: very delicate and smooth. I seemed to know that the light was the Supreme Infinite Light that is God, the Cosmic Consciousness. It is truly impossible to describe in mere mortal words, this Pure Love, this vital energy, this infinite Light, this Supreme Absolute Consciousness, This Presence, which is commonly referred to by most of humanity as God or the Creator: it can only be experienced! So please forgive my humble effort with limited vocabulary to try and share what I experienced. At this moment, I was literally standing on air and was an electric body of Light. I was in this dazzling white void, this Brilliant Nothingness, filled with comfort, delight, and a deep knowing that I had reached my destination. I seemed to know that this was the Ultimate White Effulgent Light. Experiencing myself as a shimmering sparkling white-light energy, pulsating with some kind of ethereal (ether-real!) electric life force, my Being was flooded with a gentle, very expansive Love energy. The energy was like a soft embrace from that all-encompassing Light Presence! This Light Presence of pure, unconditional Love seemed to be in me and around me. It was all-pervasive and extended into infinity. Strangely, there seemed to be no difference between this light and my Light-being. Even more bewildering, was that this Conscious Loving Presence, seemed to be the nature and substance of all of existence. In sheer delight, my Light-self was almost skipping in the air as a further wave of knowing passed through me. I whispered to myself, ‘This is the real me!’ In complete wonderment, with a sense of déjà vu and awe, I heard myself say, ‘I know this place, I know this place. I've been here before. I made it. I finally made it back!’ Drinking in the nectar of the Loving Presence which enfolded me, I saw with complete amazement a very interesting transference starting to happen. There was a string of atoms starting to flow out from within the left side of my electric body and they disappeared upwards into nowhere. Almost as if from thin air, a much finer frequency of atoms seemed to be appear and were entering through my right side into this same electric light body. I was watching and experiencing at the same time, again with no sense of duality. My entire Being was being totally emptied, refueled, and re-programmed with this ethereal, orderly, interchange of atoms. I saw that the new entry was made of a vastly different energy and seemed to have a much more expansive and delicate DNA energy. It had a new wave of very lightweight, subtle cellular frequencies, as they spiraled in, expanding and changing the previous electric body formation. All of the above was happening very fast and yet it seemed to take an eternity. Enfolded in the comforting wrap of Pure Divine Love during this cellular exchange, it seemed as though I was gradually disappearing with the atoms leaving this electric Light body. Almost as if, another ‘me’ was birthing through the newer, finer atoms entering into this Light form. My whole being was cleansed and purified, making it ready for its next role in God’s divine drama. I wished to take a final look and say goodbye to the world I had just left behind. I looked over behind my non-existent shoulder, somehow expecting to see my world; but, to my complete shock, I saw that there was nothing there. My earthly world didn't seem to exist! There was no world, no universe, no galaxy, no earth, nothing! Nothing existed, except this soft Conscious Presence, this pulsating Brilliance, this pure Love that was everywhere as all pure white Light. ‘Oh my God, how could that be?!’ I exclaimed to myself. ‘Where has it gone? What about all I went through as Arti? It was all real! How could it have just disappeared?’ A gentle response seemed to come from the cosmic wisdom that was all around, ‘But how could it be Real, when it has just disappeared?’ There was so much knowledge that was shared with me that I can't share it all here. The response said, ‘What is real is only that which is permanent and changeless. That which changes, is within the mirage of time, and truly non-existent. Consciousness, however, as a gentle, delicate, smooth, flowing Presence is ever present; even within the human form, above and beyond the mind, as it is the Experience-less-ness underlying all experience. It never changes, never disappears, and it is therefore, the only Reality.’ I asked, ‘But if this Consciousness alone is real, the world was an illusion? Then where did it come from?’ It replied, ‘Like all manifestation, the world too is the creation of the great illusion or great delusion, which being the Creative aspect of this Supreme Consciousness, or the Lord, is the divine movie-projector of life, in the all-powerful play of the realm of Creation. Just as a mirage in the desert disappears when viewed from a certain perspective, your life as Arti on earth has disappeared, when viewed from the perspective of the Divine Self, where you are now. Only the eternal is real; and from the viewpoint of that Reality, all that is non-eternal, disappears. Yet of course, you, being eternal Atman (the soul) can still view the ‘world of illusion’ if you wish.’ I asked, ‘So my life as Arti never really existed at all, it was an illusion?’ It replied, ‘Oh, it existed; just as a dream exists, or a movie, or a mirage.’ I continued questioning, ‘So the world, was just a figment of my imagination? How did I create it? With my thoughts and desires?’ The reply echoed all around me, ‘Y-e-s-s-s-s!’ as it reverberated within my being. Y e s: I understood now. The world had all been only in my mind, a thought-and-senses created illusion/delusion. Without the senses, mind and body, there was now no ego to perceive the world illusion! It had all existed and happened only in my mind! Our true reality exists outside of the mind, which is where I was at the present moment. I realized the true vastness of my Being and the minuscule nature of the cage of the earthly body. The roles I had played through the many lifetime dramas with different bodies, flashed again into knowing. I smiled, seeing there was absolutely no attachment whatsoever to any of them! How could I, when it was just a play of mind? I had come to terms with the fact that once I, my ego consciousness, left the body, my mind-created world also disappeared. Universal laws seemed to unfold rapidly and poured into my entire electric-wave body. I realized that the real goal of the mind-created life game was to remove the veil of delusion and ignorance and reach the Ultimate Truth of one's reality in life itself. This Truth, this Self I was bathing in and which had encompassed my Being, was nothing but Love. The Truth was Love; pure, unconditional, Universal Love, that is almost non-achievable in human terms. It was the fabric of this Consciousness of which I was a part. Yes, because Love is God and God is Love. It was very clear that the cosmic composition was made up of nothing but Love! Love is the God-glue that is holding ‘All’ together. I realized I was not just inside the Love but rather, one with 'It', this Universal Body of Love, of God. This was completely natural to me, as flame is to fire because it is fire. This was Home and I wanted to be here forever. Immediately with the emergence of this thought-wish, the ego-wave that was Arti, seemed to gracefully meld into the Supreme Presence, dissolving into that Ocean of Love. Arti as the earthly Arti, was no more. An incredible wave of freedom splashed over my being, almost like coming out scrubbed fresh and clean after a long overdue bath. The cellular interchange of atoms with their spiraling exit and entry had stopped because re-programming of my electric light body was completed. I was birthing a new life later known as Mira S. I knew without a doubt that life on earth was just a playground of experience, an assignment from God, a mirror projection of the Divine. In each new lifetime, as the soul makes spiritual progress, its vibrational frequency gets tuned to a faster, higher and finer level depending upon its degree of evolution. The transformation continues until the frequency level is fine-tuned to such a degree that it connects with the frequency of the Cosmos itself, which then allows it to gain entry into Cosmic Consciousness, one’s true self, which is eternal bliss, otherwise known as ananda. In the Light Presence, everything and anything could be readily created or manifested. It was in the Nature of this Supreme Presence. Everyone and everything, anywhere, was right here where I was, present in the seemingly invisible NOW. One just had to think it, and it was available. The transformation-transmutation within my electric body being completed, the electric body too, was no more visible because there was complete Oneness. It was infinite to such a degree that I was no more, and yet I was that Consciousness. There was nothing else and No other. Oh dear God, That is all that exists, the only 'Being' that is! That Consciousness was all around, inside, outside, above, below. It was everywhere! The ALL! As one touched by the Philosopher’s stone, which is said to transform iron into gold, I had gone through a complete transformation and transmutation of the previous self into birthing a new higher self. I was bringing with it an immediate awakening into the ‘knowing’ of Universal Truths and the Reality of Supreme Self. This magnificent All-pervasive Effulgence was so glorious! It was true, there is only one Being, one God, and THAT is the true Self of all. All are just a reflection of God: All are That One. I, too, was That One. THAT is my Reality. I was brimming, overflowing with the supreme knowing that The Supreme Being is my own true Self, my true identity. It was here, now, and always. There is no past or future; it is all happening constantly in the now. Losing it all, dissolving, I was, ‘I AM THAT I AM’ (Aham Brahmasmi) I knew that I was and I AM all there was to know! Just like myself, all of creation wherever and however it existed; whether human, animal, mammal, plant, or nature, all were full in themselves. All were and are God, a beautiful glorious expression of that same Fullness. Creation was just Divinity experiencing itself through Its Creation!! I was bathing in Consciousness, as Consciousness. I was enjoying this bliss of Union with the Absolute, Divine Self, God, and Full with wholeness of Being. I wanted only to remain as this Cosmic Being forever. I never want to be separate again from this Oneness, this All-encompassing Love! This was my feeling, as a faint memory of the world of separateness wafted into my consciousness and anxiousness seemed to take over all of a sudden. I heard myself repeat twice, ‘Where do I go from here? Where do I go from here?’ By the formation of destiny, which is created by our actions and reactions, the newly transformed Being of myself now in existence, having received a downpour of higher Truths and realizing its Higher Self from having merged in Oneness with It. I knew that it had been brought within and as, the pure energy of That One, of pure white Light for a reason, so an element of wonderment was there at what might be coming next? Much to my dismay, however, the All-Pervasive KNOWING came through with a much different response than what I was expecting. Coming loud and clear, It reverberated through that infinite space of Consciousness, ‘You have to go back. You have to do the Work’ communicating that my real work on Earth was to begin now. I called out, ‘Please I don't want to go back! I'm very happy here!!’ But the Lord, Supreme Consciousness had spoken, and it had to be. Right then, I saw a long flexible kind of tunnel which almost looked like a huge hollow umbilical cord. I could actually see the outside and inside of it. Inside it I saw the form of an unborn human baby, with golden, light-colored skin, curled up like a fetus against the inner wall. 'So this is the Cosmic Womb Tunnel,' I thought. It seemed to be coming from infinity and spiraling downwards. But as I looked at it carefully, I exclaimed in alarm, ‘Oh no, not again!’ when I realized that I was that baby, speeding down headfirst, as the curled-up fetus in this cosmic tunnel-like womb, I was crossing the dimensional barriers. I thought, 'Oh God, oh no, I really was going back into Earth consciousness to be reborn!' Next thing I knew, I heard myself let out a cry. I had opened my human eyes. They were looking in the rear view mirror of a car at a mouth bleeding profusely with the whole lower face covered in blood. In a complete daze, feeling totally disoriented, I touched the face in the mirror and realized it was my mouth! I thought, 'Oh God, I have a human body again! I really am back.' The lower gum-bone had been broken and lay flat on my tongue. The four lower front teeth had come out of their gum sockets but were still held by their nerves as they sat on my tongue in the middle of the mouth. Upon touching my face, I could feel tiny particles of glass from the shattered windshield all over my upper face and even my eyelashes, but none, not one, had entered my eyes. Miraculously, despite this gruesome injury in my mouth, I was feeling no pain whatsoever. There was no physical feeling at all.

What's being explored is not external forms, what's being explored is God itself. To claim this is some tangent or distraction is precisely incorrect. You cannot know what God is without exploring what God is. And it becomes extremely evident to me that Buddhists, Vipassana meditators, self-inquirers, Neo-Advaita folk, and their ilk do not understand what God is. Because they haven't explored it. You cannot understand God simply by shutting down your mind and accessing some Jnana or cessation. That is not what God is. Nor can you understand what God is via Vipassana-like deconstruction of sensory experience. None of that is it. Loss of ego is not it. No-self is not it. Nothingness is not it. Emptiness is not it. Liberation is not it. I love Casteneda's work, but God-realization it is not, like at all.

Hey I fucked the clutch pedal of my car again . Not bad enough to replace it yet. Jesus! I am so fucking stupid. My father is mad again. Went to bed at 3. I watched a movie in the kitchen, drank soda and ate popcorn. I prepared dried leaves of basil from my garden for chopping and storage. It took forever. I have to take off the other ones as well. Woke up late. Went in the kitchen after working out and laying in my bed on IG like a potato. My mother was asking my father to treat her better. He was laughing at this. I was feeling down for waking up late. I said yeah she is right or smth like that. Didn't matter anyways. My brother was very annoyed nobody from our family likes his girlfriend =))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) This week is my sister BF's b-day. My family and I asked sister what should we get him as a present. She told us mostly very expensive stuff. Got smth for him but sister said he wont like it. I also got another shirt for myself. Is better quality that the other two i bought. I wanted this shirt for some time. I am noticing these moments of emptiness and silence in everyday moments. Each time i feel trapped. I feel like drowning. Is just nothingness. Just some moment with no meaning and no purpose. Just silence. Just living in the present, moment by moment, day by day and for what? Feels like torture. I find it very hard to be happy in the present moment. But when i worked out today i felt good. Just pushups and 100 abs. I didnt get sore muscles from running a few days ago. I was surprised. I went cycling with brother and his gf. I only invited brother but she came along. She kept complaining. It was very fucking annoying but didn't say a thing. She was like: OMG this road is so bumpy, this road is made of stones, this road is blah blah blah, i don't want to go uphiiiiill agaaaaain, you are riding to faaaaaast =))))))))))) I swear that's how she was like all that time. Dont know how my brother tolerates her. She annoyed me a lot. I didn't fap today. Wont go tomorrow at university. I studied for the massage course last few lessons. It was very hard to focus. Just kept thinking i am shit and i so on. I didnt manage to get as much as i wanted done. I am finding myself trying to do smth for the day to pass at work. I hate it. I just feel stupid not doing stuff for my accounts. I feel stupid for not looking over them. I am just feeling down so often, man. I feel like a pice of shit. I feel impatient to see more results faster. I just feel defeated.

I can't believe I didn't listen to people who told me that before. I'm gonna repeat it. "You don't want enlightenment and you can't want enlightenment." That's basically it. I'm not gonna say:"You're already enlightened" because nobody who seeks enlightenment is gonna want to hear that. Me included. Also, it's not about reading this in a right way for you to get it or not. It's more complex than that. And it's more simple than that. Also: "Realisations don't enlighten or liberate you". They just give you insights into reality, that's it, and those insights are gonna tell you to some degree that you're gonna have to do the following things: (after "here's the deal) You don't want to be nothingness/GOD/emptiness all the time. Because what's more empty than no-thingness? Non-existence, and that's death and or the absence of any perception. So here's the deal: Obviously you either want more of life or fewer of those negative things we call suffering. And you heard about spirituality or enlightenment. Bliss, god, liberation, enlightenment. If you took some psychedelics or had orgasmic awakenings you might think you want that all the time. For example, I had a kundalini awakening. I can't describe the pleasure I've had having it awaken. When it rose I felt like I was the sun being loved into existence. The next few weeks I just had to focus for a split second on my lower back and could maintain that cosmic orgasm for as long as I wanted. This sounds a lot like enlightenment, but it isn't. It's like a heroin IV drip. And the heroin is not gonna last, you're gonna lose it. That's your view on enlightenment if you seek more from life. And once you have that, which you don't necessarily need, you're gonna face suffering, which you'd want to escape from too. So here's the second thing. You can want enlightenment because life is too much suffering and you don't care that much about beauty pleasure etc. So you're gonna try everything you can, to escape suffering, because that's what enlightenment is for you. You're gonna cause suffering in order to escape suffering. The insane ego-mind is gonna have those ideas. You're also gonna want to kill yourself to avoid suffering. That's why you can't want enlightenment. You'd rather kill yourself than become enlightened. Because enlightenment is... No more doing, there's nothing you can do, there's just suffering and the mind handling it. That's it. There's no hope. Enlightenment is NOT the last hope, it's the end of hope alltogether. Most important message: "The thing you want to avoid most in your subjective experience is the door to enlightenment" That's it: If you want to escape your shitty life, then your shitty life is the door to enlightenment, and there's nothing you can do about it. That's surrender. Detaching from your shitty life is not enlightenment, it's what keeps you from enlightenment. If you have just one reason for pursuing enlightenment, that's it. That thing is the path / the door. So turn around 180°. There's also nothing you can do except exhaust yourself, until you give up. The grace of God doesn't show up if you're frustrated. It only shows up once you surrender thinking the only way out is suicide. That's how far it goes. And that's not even total enlightenment. That's when the falling into enlightenment CAN (but doesn't have to) start. It's as if you commited suicide, landed in hell for eternity, and had to accept it. That's when the grace of god shows up. YOU CAN'T WANT THAT!!!! So what can you do? Simple: There is "what IS" and there is "Aversion to what IS". Be minful of the "aversion to what is", so that it becomes "what is". AVERSION is illusory. Aversion is already "What IS" The seeking is gonna end with the aversion to the thing that makes you seek enlightenment in the first place. Important notice: 1. Don't play with suicide or suicidal thoughts. 2. Never hurt yourself emotionally or physically on purpose. 3. Never hurt other people/animals physically or emotionally. 4. Don't fuck up your life in any way. Don't change anything in your day-to-day life. Those are not "additional rules", but just indications that if you have those ideas, you don't understand what is being talked about. If you have those thoughts/ideas, feel free to PM me or comment them, I'm gonna tell you what you misunderstand.

❤ But I'm not arguing this. I stated things I notice in myself and ways I deal with my emotions and you said they're not real. That doesn't help me. Are you saying you meditate on nothingness? Is remembering nothingness a way to deal with life problems? I want to know what the practical aspect of remembering the non-real quality to reality is.

@Tim R I can see by the replies that people have various interpretations... If Love means total equality and non-discrimination that makes logical sense. Same with lack of any anxiety/fear being Bliss/Peace. And I would ideally like to call consciousness nothingness or infinity tbh... Terminology is so often contested.

Nothing exists out of your direct experience so I would say it's happening inside nothingness.

I understand you on most of this. I understand that any thing is in a state of formlessness when not perceived and that ALL things inherently have no form at all and are thus infinite etc. I understand that red is red, sound is sound, etc. I understand the fact they are happening is a certainty. How I view this however is that all Qualia is EXTREME finitude. Literally one thing in absence of infinite others. Absolutely and inherently there is nothing out there etc etc and thus you are looking at nothingness/infinity in actuality, but the perception exists and perceptions themselves are all limited and finite. I don't think red the perception is infinite, evidently it is not blue when perceived as red. It COULD be perceived as blue but then it wouldn't be red. Red is red, yes, absolutely it is infinity because that's what all things are, but when redness is perceived, it is red and red alone. That is also how I would interpret a dream. Obviously the entire dream is a single mind, and that is like this here. But be it illusion or whatever you call it, it is experienced as dualistic and very finite. The existence of a finite perception does not rob it of its true nature like how a finite perception in a dream does not suddenly give that perception a reality beyond imagination taking place in mind.

@Nahm not knowing it's the same as nothingness?

Im just talking to myself. Time to accept the Nothingness brother. Its actually love ☀️

If it wasn't appearing to be happening then you could not say you are having breakfast or that I am working. The fact it is appearing to be happening is what matters, and that is never going to end. I was glad to hear Leo on Curt's podcast as he verbalized what I think which is that you can't just will a million dollars into your drawer, as there's a deeper level of imagination that is beyond our self mind. Which explains absolutely everything. It's not the self imagining things into existence, it is indeed your perceptions which grant them an actuality/form. I get that. But it is on a deeper level than the finite mind we talk to each other from right now. If there wasn't an appearance of many (trick, illusion, whatever it may be termed) you could literally post right now precisely what I am seeing. Well, actually I don't think there would be an experience of anything because any form requires finitude. E.g. to appear red it must not appear blue and green and yellow. It might appear as those things to other creatures or w.e. but you see what I mean. I don't think infinity can be perceived. Infinity, consciousness, and nothingness, seem to be completely identical... And the process of experience appears to be exactly like dreaming, where there is an apparent world given form via perception and duality. Both the nothing and something being ultimately one, precisely like a dream.

How comes? As far as I can tell, if all objects of perception are removed (which isn't actually possible) there would be no experience ever. What would be experienced if there were no apparent things to experience? Nothingness can't be perceived in absence of an apparent something. You can say there is no subject and object when seeing red, e.g. that there is just seeing, but I think that is a pairing. I can't verbalize why because I know what it is like to "become" the perceived objects, but I think that is just recognition of absolute nonduality STILL taking place in an apparent duality. Dreams are also duality within nonduality. You could never see a landscape in a dream if you weren't seemingly located somewhere in the dream, which is then dual even though we know it is all manufactured by a singular mind. I see multiplicity of any kind as an apparent duality.

Every moment is this moment. The next moment never comes. Any and Everything already exists and it's existed forever on the infinite film real. Just a thought in My Mind (God). Close your imaginary eyes and realize that all sensations happen and if you can manage not to imagine "your avatar body" and not attach a sensation to arm, or leg, or anything, you'll be a floating in nowhere and become nothing but raw awareness floating in nothingness. It's gets really cool after you reach this place

I'm angry sure, scared idk, Maybe not be a bitch, I dare you to become god this moment, right now, wait, you can't and you won't, so there's not quite anything to be afraid of, it's the primitive un-yet-evolved monkey brain chattering on about concepts that aren't of this moment, I could probably understand some of the stuff about being the breeze, but you can't control people to behave how you want, or make the Sun stay up for an entire week, or float off into space, there's an element of nature you can't control in order for it to surprise you as being a human, which is likely why you're here, to be human and forget about being 'god' for a while, so perhaps your idea of 'God' is wrong where you imagine you can somehow manipulate and control the 'dream' one exists in ,,, dream and god are both concepts, you don't know what any of that is, become a baby again, you have no clue what anything means, not death, not nothingness, not god, not evil, not good, not pain, absolutly no clue, no notion of fear, that too is a concept only you play around with, you have no clue, I'm afraid of not being able to survive, that's my fear, SURVIVING, I WANT FOOD, PLEASURE, AND NOT TO GO HUNGRY OR DIE, I don't know anything about god, about the self, about love, about pain, I know not of these concepts Don't piss me off with silly responses when I'm the only one responding to your post that's not going to kiss your ass and hand you a lollypop about nonesense you have no clue about,

I would say we don't enjoy deep sleep because enjoyment is an experience which can't happen in absolute nonduality, I think we enjoy the feeling of refreshment upon waking. I also don't really think there are realms the human mind can go to given it's main location of origin is within this particular dream, which I don't think we have control over. Rupert has a video on that called something like "there's no choice in infinity". If the entire top down nature of things is altered, I find everything stays the same. Yes a human self is a brain made of atoms and neurons etc but the nature of those things is mental? So the brain is just what the human mind looks like. Destroy that and it is reduced back into energy etc which presumably has no subjective experience? So God-self can't see through us anymore but sees through others as it is doing currently. Yeah there has to be other to have experience. Without duality experience is impossible. Rupert also has great dream analogies to show that, and also some which explain well why it could not just experience infinity and can only experience things via finitude and limit. It occurs to me that to experience red for example, limit is completely necessary because you can't see red unless the red is NOT seen by the viewer as being blue and green and yellow etc. Red itself is limited to one singular thing. I think this is a necessary and natural element of infinity, rather than intelligence etc. I think that because the void has no property at all, it is literally nothing (AKA infinity AKA all potential somethings), so must experience things like intelligence inside duality. I actually found far more insight in dissociative dualistic states of being, than in the states where I am everything. It was when subject and object became distinctly split rather than merged that I could know what the subject was. And it was like the mirror looking back at nothingness you described, it can't ever be seen but can be known via the somethings. I didn't see infinity there but knew total nothing. Infinity is more a thing I felt when having psychedelic induced out of body experiences (no form for the brain to attach consciousness to so it becomes sizeless and locationless). When a human mind wins the game it doesn't exist anymore haha, and this is an absolute inevitability all of us face. The game never ends! There's no enlightenment because there is infinite duality for all eternity! Without "self", there is no entity to win the game or be enlightened, rather the object (a morphing collection of experience called the human mind) just stops being "imagined" by the void... That is what I'm thinking anyway.

Not logically. It's just an understanding loop that can appear. Nothingness is infinitely bigger than a space or a logical reality in which an I could appropriate as its own.

Unreal finite appearing as infinite. Not even that. It's quite indescribable. Time certainly disappears. All there is, is the Big Bang. Very, very, incredibly high state of consciousness. Absolute infinity stretching timelessly through nothing, apparently. Awareness still identified essentially as everyone (beyond life and death), or all there is, or everything, or boundless emptiness (empty fullness). Sometimes it takes a different character and it's like there's simply no difference between anything, there's only everything, and perception is just absolute infinity in that form, fluctuating in and as nothingness, with no finite controller; only pure God. Separation or awareness in its usual appearance can seem to apparently collapse. And it's a temporary state but it seems to result in another permanent state change. Solipsism is the sense or belief that one (one's awareness) is all that is. There is no one else and I am here now present. Everyone is me. I am alone. God realization (or rather the apparently resulting state change) is a step beyond that: One is everyone. I am not alone. I am God. We are one and (from the view of the "realized super-person") all I can see is God, who I really am. At any time for no reason it can apparently be recognized that there is no God and there never was a me -- and then there's just what's appearing to happen, with no other or cause or meaning or limit. Everything is all there is -- call it whatever; God, freedom, liberation, infinity, nothing, absolute, what is and is not... This, unconditional love, unknowing... Intuitive recognitions -- not worth talking about because they're beyond logical explanation -- can also occur in the background of all that. Pulling the apparent one toward something else beyond itself. Which totally eclipses any paragraph before this one and renders them utterly useless. And that's not to say the intuitive recognitions are more useful -- a paradox. It's just boundlessness appearing as a journey up the dream of consciousness so that boundlessness can have an experience of hoping to find itself, in time, just for the hell of it -- for no reason at all. There is only absolute inconceivable blind (and blinding) freedom.

I was doing a quick nap in the middle of the day. At some point in my sleep I was witnessing someone play some video game. They were doing something stupid and I was making fun of them. (Haha what a dumby don't do this). Then I started stopping to make fun of them and feel empathy for their mistake and actually "guide them" or at least look at them do the right things. The video game itself or the actions are irrelevant but it felt amazing to just watch someone "get it right" and it retrospects it felt quite bad to make fun of them uselessly. This felt good enough I would say I haven't felt like this in a good while. During this moment of feeling good, I noticed I was sleeping but the dream didn't really start to become lucid. Instead I had some sort of very very sudden intense pressure. It's quite hard to describe but my best analogy would be how you feel in your ears when you blow air into your nose. Excepts multiply that by a thousand and the sound becomes very acute. I had no idea what this was and I was a bit scared of it, but I didn't want to "fall into it". It sort of tried to make me "lose consciousness" or "think about something else", at least it really seemed like it didn't want me to realize how the dream I just had felt. But as I felt this really strange pressure which was in both sides of my body (left and right, from my head to my lower back), it started to feel really good again to not "fall into it". But then I started wondering what that was and where this was coming from. As I focused on the dream again, the pressure started again, but much harder. Finally when I focused on the dream again and I thought "oh wait it's because it felt good to not shit on the guy" then the pressure started becoming EVEN more intense. Now it was deafening and I was scared of waking up, I didn't know if it was OK to wake up while that was going on. I just decided to wait for it to finish and when it finished I just got up. The idea that I held through the experience was that this "pressure" was there to prevent me to figure out how good it feels to not beat down someone who's struggling rather than helping them. And I can highly relate this to my daily life, I often find myself beating myself up when I don't do according to my expectations. But then what the heck is this big pressure? I felt it so clearly and so intensely. The thought story about it would identify that pressure as "homeostasis", somehow the resistance to positive change. But in actuality all of this is an interpretation of my experience, an idea. In actuality all I felt was the big pressure and I believed the idea about it. Perhaps the pressure is a "feeling" but I never had such feelings and why could I hear it too? Perhaps its purely an hallucination, an interpretation of nothingness. I have no clue, feel free to let me know if you ever had similar experiences.

@Ry4n When I say we did not come here to become God what I mean is we did not come here in my humble opinion to discount the human experience. "Leo I'm sorry, but it's statements like this that show you've still got some work to do pulling your head out of your ass. Not having any stink of arrogance or holiness is the last word of Zen; the complete integration of Absolute and Relative, where real spiritual maturity lies. I'm checking your ego from a place of love here. Actually live it, not just preach it. I know you are capable of that. Namaste." Also this is exactly what I am talking about. Integration. A lot of people actually have understood and experienced what he is talking about but it takes years to fully integrate it all. He reminds me of how I was when I first had my experiences. Teal swan is someone who I feel like is a good example of how to live an integrated life. @Leo Gura Have you actually read near death experiences? I am going to paste a few examples here because many and I mean many of them talk about you are seem to be pointing at in your teachings. I get annoyed with you at times because you seem to think no one gets it. Also NDER'S come back with the knowing that there is not death at all. Here are a few examples please tell me what you think: Cami R described it like on the NDERF site: 'I crossed into a state that was deep, fundamental, irreducible. An ocean of exquisite sensitivity, of omnisentience (sensing everywhere at once), turned me inside out to reveal itself at the core. Losing every sense of distinction, I floated as part of this gloriously intelligent web of light. Even the awesome flavors and energies from previous states of consciousness looked trivial compared to this luminous irreducible force, this field of existence. It seemed to be an order of magnitude different from the earlier experiences. This was the force of consciousness itself. There was no 'I' left whatsoever, not even the broad perspective from the life review. My boundaries as a human and as a spirit were completely erased. Witnessing from a localized single point, my perspective was simultaneously spread through the multidimensional, nonlocalized perspective of the entire web. There was no end and no beginning, like the lake underneath the forms that dance through our lives. This was beyond bliss, beyond truth, beyond peace and ecstasy and all the searing emotions of the previous stages. It was stillness in the middle, consciousness without form John Scott NDE: It’s almost if not impossible to describe the source light because it is everything and nothing simultaneously, that’s what I saw; a conundrum full of dualistic opposites within one united energy field on every level of cognition. Hafur NDE: ***We live in a 'Plural Unity' or 'Oneness'. In other words, our reality is 'Unity in Plurality and Plurality in Unity’. ***I was everything and everything was me, without essential differences other than in temporal appearances. ***There is no external god, but that god is in everything and everything in god, just as life itself. ***There is no God outside ourselves but is, rather, in everything and everything is a part of God, as is life itself. ***God is everything and nothing at the same time. ***Everyone and everything, or temporal phenomenon within this dimension, is where it should be because it emanates from the blueprint of a shared dream (if we can call it that) that is repeated indefinitely until we understand what is essential or real. ***Everything is part of an essential game of life itself, and that to the degree that we live by true love, unconditional and universal, the closer we are to an understanding what life truly is, which is true happiness and perfect wisdom. ***Everything is experience and that this life and the next are essentially the same because everything is god. Nothing is outside of god just as nothing is outside of life itself. ***Death is a metamorphosis of time. One more illusion from our mental concepts. Essentially, time does not exist, nor does space. They are illusions of our creative mind that plays a game of self-deception in the creation of events. ***'I' includes 'We' and are like a mirror where we perceive the reflection of our reality in its many facets and illusions. ***The 'creator' is eternally creating, and one of the creations is the practice of conscious love. 'One learns to paint by painting'. That's why this 'temporal human illusory creation' exists as though it were a matrix within another matrix and this, within another - multi-dimensionally until we wake up. ***I experienced something that can't be transmitted with words but that can be expressed as 'The Essence of Life is its Total Nothingness’ (please understand 'Nothingness' as something that has no intrinsic substance, but is rather constructed by a multitude of phenomena, which in turn are formed by other untold multitude of phenomena to the point of infinity). I understood that intangible, indescribable life is all that exists. There is no death (it's only a description to show the polarities in the world of phenomena). ***Consciously living by love is the essence of life itself and is made manifest or materializes in this plane of existence as a cohesive force to recreate itself in multiple forms as a game in which nothingness recreates itself in temporary, illusory events. ***The known universe is a fraction of infinite reality that by love has become finite pieces in our temporal 'hands'. ***I learned thousands of other things without end, and it is difficult to express in words because words are insufficient, they can't describe what I experienced in this other state of consciousness that was much clearer than this one. When I returned to this life, I felt I had fallen into a very heavy space, and that my body was as lead and my mind was the same and very slow. I saw my loved ones, family and friends as if they were nothing to me. They were only reflections in the great theater of life, and each one voluntarily agreed to play a part in order to learn more and better how to love. I spoke with them to tell them of my experience, and they looked at me as though I were crazy. I realized they didn't understand what I was saying to them. Little by little, my experience grew faint, but there appeared many new special experiences of telepathy, intuition developed between others such as voluntary out of body experiences and involuntary bi-location. I especially cannot control the latter, and I would like to know using conventional language how this phenomenon happens. I only know that everything is eternal, pure consciousness and that we are in a mental dream that is permanently being constructed as a dynamic of consciousness that knows itself and recreates itself through each one of us. That we are the 'point of emptiness' where the void or nothingness of the universe becomes aware of itself. It is really hard to explain this. I know that everything I saw originates from thoughts, or the Universal Mind. It is projected in images and events that interact with lucid consciousness as an experience, and that this whole experience is a part the infinitude of that which is real on every plain or level of existence that we want to invent or divide into pieces so that our temporal mind can decipher it despite its limitations. I believe I understood that what we call God is the silence of indescribable life that is in everything, and everything is in it. As an analogy, we could use the image of steam, converted into water, then into ice. Once it is in that state, ice forgets that it is steam with its capacity for expansion. This is what happens to us in this plane of consciousness. I believe I understood that what we call God is the silence of indescribable life that is in everything and in which everything exists or is within it. A marvelous, loving and conscious eternity. Note: I feel that all the images that were created in my mind during this experience, before entering into the light, are symbolic thought forms of something perhaps more profound that could serve in support of a translation of that which is essential experience. It is impossible to explain with our limited human language, yet I am now trying to decipher it little by little. I noticed a change in the speed my mind worked and developed my intuition or universal perception of life. It is difficult to translate with my physical brain, that which is essential or infinite with conventional language. Perhaps through the art of telepathic communication, soul to soul, it can be done. I will continue trying to do this, and will try see if someone who has experienced this same phenomenon, or who has had a similar experience, has another part of the verbal puzzle. Among all of us, we can put together a clearer picture that can benefit those who do not read. I ask your indulgence for my limitations and hope that I haven't confused anyone. I will conclude by saying: 'From but one piece of clay, many forms can be made At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I entered into the light. I entered into the 'void' and into 'everything' at the same time. I became fused with the light and reality became aware of itself. I realized everything was God and is permanently creating. Nothingness creating nothingness. Truthfully, I do not know how to express or transmit this with words. They limit me. Mellen Thomas Benedict NDE: At this point of my near-death experience, I found myself in a profound stillness, beyond all silence. I could see or perceive FOREVER, beyond Infinity. I was in the Void. I was in pre-creation, before the Big Bang. I had crossed over the beginning of time / the First Word / the First vibration. I was in the Eye of Creation. I felt as if I was touching the Face of God. It was not a religious feeling. Simply, I was at one with Absolute Life and Consciousness. When I say that I could see or perceive forever, I mean that I could experience all of creation generating itself. It was without beginning and without end. That’s a mind-expanding thought, isn’t it? Scientists perceive the Big Bang as a single event that created the Universe. I saw during my life after death experience that the Big Bang is only one of an infinite number of Big Bangs creating Universes endlessly and simultaneously. The only images that even come close in human terms would be those created by super computers using fractal geometry equations. The ancients knew of this. They said God had periodically created new Universes by breathing out, and recreated other Universes by breathing in. These epochs were called Yugas. Modern science called this the Big Bang. I was in absolute, pure consciousness. I could see or perceive all the Big Bangs or Yugas creating and recreating themselves. Instantly I entered into them all simultaneously. I saw that each and every little piece of creation has the power to create. It is very difficult to try to explain this. I am still speechless about this. It took me years after I returned from my near-death experience to assimilate any words at all for the Void experience. I can tell you this now: the Void is less than nothing, yet more than everything that is! The Void is absolute zero; chaos forming all possibilities. It is Absolute Consciousness; much more than even Universal Intelligence. The Void is the vacuum or nothingness between all physical manifestations. The SPACE between atoms and their components. Modern science has begun to study this space between everything. They call it Zero point. Whenever they try to measure it, their instruments go off the scale, or to infinity, so to speak. They have no way, as of yet, to measure infinity accurately. There is more of the zero space in your own body and the Universe than anything else! What mystics call the Void is not a void. It is so full of energy, a different kind of energy that has created everything that we are. Everything since the Big Bang is vibration, from the first Word, which is the first vibration. The biblical “I am” really has a question mark after it. “I am — What am I?” So creation is God exploring God’s Self through every way imaginable, in an ongoing, infinite exploration through every one of us. I began to see during my near-death experience that everything that is, is the Self, literally, your Self, my Self. Everything is the great Self. That is why God knows even when a leaf falls. That is possible because wherever you are is the center of the universe. Wherever any atom is, that is the center of the universe. There is God in that, and God in the Void.

There is void, that is an absolute infinity. Because of that, it necessitates that there be all things else it would be limited. As such infinite somethings akin to "dreams" come with this void. The void alone cannot ever be experienced, only known through the "dreams" like a mirror reflecting back at nothingness. Your mind is one of the dreamed "things". This includes literally any mental activity you are aware of. Thoughts w.e., these are objects which the void is aware of. The void is the thing which is aware of all of our minds simultaneously. The mind is an object which is why it doesn't know the contents of my mind. The void cannot carry data across from one to the other etc as it is total nothingness. Zero properties.

@Loba Please don't let go of those experiences. Have you heard of Mellen Thomas Benedict? He had an NDE and went all the way to the God Head and while in the God head he realized something huge and it kind of my point with all of this. Also Jill bolte Taylor expereinced a more non dual state. I actually feel ndes give more of a full experience. Concerning the validity of Benedict’s testimony, P.M.H. Atwater has this to say: “I can attest that his case is genuine and his claims about the brain tumor and the conditions of his death are true. I have met his mother and step-father, been in his and their homes, and have followed his life since – his struggles and his accomplishments – as he sought to find a way to integrate his experience into his daily life while still honoring the mission he felt guided to fulfill.” – P.M.H. Atwater 2. The Road to Death In 1982 I died from terminal cancer. The condition I had was inoperable, and any kind of chemotherapy they could give me would just have made me more of a vegetable. I was given six to eight months to live. I had been an information freak in the 1970’s, and I had become increasingly despondent over the nuclear crisis, the ecology crisis, and so forth. So, since I did not have a spiritual basis, I began to believe that nature had made a mistake, and that we were probably a cancerous organism on the planet. I saw no way that we could get out from all the problems we had created for ourselves and the planet. I perceived all humans as cancer, and that is what I got. That is what killed me. Be careful what your world view is. It can feed back on you, especially if it is a negative world view. I had a seriously negative one. That is what led me into my death. I tried all sort s of alternative healing methods, but nothing helped. So I determined that this was really just between me and God. I had never really faced God before, or even dealt with God. I was not into any kind of spirituality at the time, but I began a journey into learning about spirituality and alternative healing. I set out to do all the reading I could and bone up on the subject, because I did not want to be surprised on the other side. So I started reading on various religions and philosophies. They were all very interesting, and gave hope that there was something on the other side. I ended up in hospice care. I remember waking up one morning at home about 4:30 am and I just knew that this was it. This was the day I was going to die. So I called a few friends and said goodbye. I woke up my hospice caretaker and told her. I had a private agreement with her that she would leave my dead body alone for six hours, since I had read that all kinds of interesting things happen when you die. I went back to sleep. The next thing I remember is the beginning of a typical near death experience. Suddenly I was fully aware and I was standing up, but my body was in the bed. There was this darkness around me. Being out of my body was even more vivid than ordinary experience. It was so vivid that I could see every room in the house, I could see the top of the house, I could see around the house, I could see under the house. 3. The Light of God There was this Light shining. I turned toward the Light. The Light was very similar to what many other people have described in their near-death experiences. It was so magnificent. It is tangible; you can feel it. It is alluring; you want to go to it like you would want to go to your ideal mother’s or father’s arms. As I began to move toward the Light, I knew intuitively that if I went to the Light, I would be dead. So as I was moving toward the Light I said, “Please wait a minute, just hold on a second here. I want to think about this; I would like to talk to you before I go.” To my surprise, the entire experience halted at that point. You are indeed in control of your near-death experience. You are not on a roller coaster ride. So my request was honored and I had some conversations with the Light. The Light kept changing into different figures, like Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, mandalas, archetypal images and signs. I asked the Light, “What is going on here? Please, Light, clarify yourself for me. I really want to know the reality of the situation.” I cannot really say the exact words, because it was sort of telepathy. The Light responded. The information transferred to me was that your beliefs shape the kind of feedback you are getting before the Light. If you were a Buddhist or Catholic or Fundamentalist, you get a feedback loop of your own stuff. You have a chance to look at it and examine it, but most people do not. As the Light revealed itself to me, I became aware that what I was really seeing was our Higher Self matrix. We all have a higher Self, or an oversoul part of our being. It revealed itself to me in its truest energy form. The only way I can really describe it is that the being of the higher Self is more like a conduit. It did not look like that, but it is a direct connection to the Source that each and every one of us has. We are directly connected to the Source. So the Light was showing me the higher Self matrix. I was not committed to one particular religion. So that is what was being fed back to me during my life after death experience. As I asked the Light to keep clearing for me, to keep explaining, I understood what the higher Self matrix is. We have a grid around the planet where all the higher Selves are connected. This is like a great company, a next subtle level of energy around us, the spirit level, you might say. Then, after a couple of minutes, I asked for more clarification. I really wanted to know what the universe is about, and I was ready to go at that time. I said, “I am ready, take me.” 4. The River of Life Then the Light turned into the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen: a mandala of human souls on this planet. Now I came to this with my negative view of what has happened on the planet. So as I asked the Light to keep clarifying for me, I saw in this magnificent mandala how beautiful we all are in our essence, our core. We are the most beautiful creations. The human soul, the human matrix that we all make together is absolutely fantastic, elegant, exotic, everything. I just cannot say enough about how it changed my opinion of human beings in that instant. I said, “Oh, God, I did not know how beautiful we are.” At any level, high or low, in whatever shape you are in, you are the most beautiful creation, you are. I was astonished to find that there was no evil in any soul. I said, “How can this be?” The answer was that no soul was inherently evil. The terrible things that happened to people might make them do evil things, but their souls were not evil. What all people seek, what sustains them, is love, the Light told me. What distorts people is a lack of love. The revelations coming from the Light seemed to go on and on, then I asked the Light, “Does this mean that humankind will be saved?” Then, like a trumpet blast with a shower of spiraling lights, the Great Light spoke, saying: “Remember this and never forget; you save, redeem and heal yourself. You always have. You always will. You were created with the power to do so from before the beginning of the world.” In that instant I realized even more. I realized that WE HAVE ALREADY BEEN SAVED, and we saved ourselves because we were designed to self-correct like the rest of God’s universe. This is what the second coming is about. I thanked the Light of God with all my heart. The best thing I could come up with during my near death experience was these simple words of total appreciation: “Oh dear God, dear Universe, dear Great Self, I Love My Life.” The Light seemed to breathe me in even more deeply. It was as if the Light was completely absorbing me. The Love Light is, to this day, indescribable. I entered into another realm, more profound than the last, and became aware of something more, much more. It was an enormous stream of Light, vast and full, deep in the Heart of Life. I asked what this was. The Light responded: “This is the RIVER OF LIFE. Drink of this manna water to your heart’s content.” So I did. I took one big drink and then another. To drink of life Itself! I was in ecstasy. Then the Light said: “You have a desire.” The Light knew all about me, everything past, present and future. “Yes!” I whispered. I asked to see the rest of the Universe; beyond our solar system, beyond all human illusion. The Light then told me that I could go with the Stream. I did, and was carried through the Light at the end of the tunnel. I felt and heard a series of very soft sonic booms. What a rush! Suddenly I seemed to be rocketing away from the planet on this stream of Life. I saw the earth fly away. The solar system, in all its splendor, whizzed by and disappeared. At faster than light speed, I flew through the center of the galaxy, absorbing more knowledge as I went. I learned that this galaxy, and all of the Universe, is bursting with many different varieties of LIFE. I saw many worlds. The good news is that we are not alone in this Universe! As I rode this stream of consciousness through the center of the galaxy, the stream was expanding in awesome fractal waves of energy. The super clusters of galaxies with all their ancient wisdom flew by. At first I thought I was going somewhere; actually traveling. But then I realized that, as the stream was expanding, my own consciousness was also expanding to take in everything in the Universe! All creation passed by me. It was an unimaginable wonder! I truly was a Wonder Child; a babe in Wonderland! 5. The Void At this point of my near-death experience, I found myself in a profound stillness, beyond all silence. I could see or perceive FOREVER, beyond Infinity. I was in the Void. I was in pre-creation, before the Big Bang. I had crossed over the beginning of time / the First Word / the First vibration. I was in the Eye of Creation. I felt as if I was touching the Face of God. It was not a religious feeling. Simply, I was at one with Absolute Life and Consciousness. When I say that I could see or perceive forever, I mean that I could experience all of creation generating itself. It was without beginning and without end. That’s a mind-expanding thought, isn’t it? Scientists perceive the Big Bang as a single event that created the Universe. I saw during my life after death experience that the Big Bang is only one of an infinite number of Big Bangs creating Universes endlessly and simultaneously. The only images that even come close in human terms would be those created by super computers using fractal geometry equations. The ancients knew of this. They said God had periodically created new Universes by breathing out, and recreated other Universes by breathing in. These epochs were called Yugas. Modern science called this the Big Bang. I was in absolute, pure consciousness. I could see or perceive all the Big Bangs or Yugas creating and recreating themselves. Instantly I entered into them all simultaneously. I saw that each and every little piece of creation has the power to create. It is very difficult to try to explain this. I am still speechless about this. It took me years after I returned from my near-death experience to assimilate any words at all for the Void experience. I can tell you this now: the Void is less than nothing, yet more than everything that is! The Void is absolute zero; chaos forming all possibilities. It is Absolute Consciousness; much more than even Universal Intelligence. The Void is the vacuum or nothingness between all physical manifestations. The SPACE between atoms and their components. Modern science has begun to study this space between everything. They call it Zero point. Whenever they try to measure it, their instruments go off the scale, or to infinity, so to speak. They have no way, as of yet, to measure infinity accurately. There is more of the zero space in your own body and the Universe than anything else! What mystics call the Void is not a void. It is so full of energy, a different kind of energy that has created everything that we are. Everything since the Big Bang is vibration, from the first Word, which is the first vibration. The biblical “I am” really has a question mark after it. “I am — What am I?” So creation is God exploring God’s Self through every way imaginable, in an ongoing, infinite exploration through every one of us. I began to see during my near-death experience that everything that is, is the Self, literally, your Self, my Self. Everything is the great Self. That is why God knows even when a leaf falls. That is possible because wherever you are is the center of the universe. Wherever any atom is, that is the center of the universe. There is God in that, and God in the Void. As I was exploring the Void during my life after death experience and all the Yugas or creations, I was completely out of time and space as we know it. In this expanded state, I discovered that creation is about Absolute Pure Consciousness, or God, coming into the Experience of Life as we know it. The Void itself is devoid of experience. It is pre life, before the first vibration. Godhead is about more than Life and Death. Therefore there is even more than Life and Death to experience in the Universe! When I realized this I was finished with the Void, and wanted to return to this creation, or Yuga. It just seemed like the natural thing to do. Then I suddenly came back through the second Light, or the Big Bang, hearing several more velvet booms. I rode the stream of consciousness back through all of creation, and what a ride it was! The super clusters of galaxies came through me with even more insights. I passed through the center of our galaxy, which is a black hole. Black holes are the great processors or recyclers of the Universe. Do you know what is on the other side of a Black Hole? We are; our galaxy, which has been reprocessed from another Universe. In its total energy configuration, the galaxy looked like a fantastic city of lights. All energy this side of the Big Bang is light. Every sub atom, atom, star, planet, even consciousness itself is made of light and has a frequency and/or particle. Light is living stuff. Everything is made of light, even stones. So everything is alive. Everything is made from the Light of God; everything is very intelligent. 6. The Light of Love As I rode the stream on and on, I could eventually see a huge Light coming. I knew it was the First Light; the higher Self Light Matrix of our solar system. Then the entire solar system appeared in the Light, accompanied by one of those velvet booms. I could see during my near death experience all the energy that this solar system generates, and it is an incredible light show! I could hear the Music of the Spheres. Our solar system, as do all celestial bodies, generates a unique matrix of light, sound and vibratory energies. Advanced civilizations from other star systems can spot life as we know it in the universe by the vibratory or energy matrix imprint. It is child’s play. The earth’s Wonder child (human beings) make an abundance of sound right now, like children playing in the backyard of the universe. The Light explained to me that there is no death; we are immortal beings. We have already been alive forever! I realized that we are part of a natural living system that recycles itself endlessly. I was never told that I had to come back. I just knew that I would. It was only natural, from what I had seen during my life after death experience. I don’t know how long I was with the Light, in human time. But there came a moment when I realized that all my questions had been answered and my return was near. When I say that all my questions were answered on the other side, I mean to say just that. During my near death experience, all my questions have been answered. Every human has a different life and set of questions to explore. Some of our questions are Universal, but each of us is exploring this thing we call Life in our own unique way. So is every other form of life, from mountains to every leaf on every tree. And that is very important to the rest of us in this Universe. Because it all contributes to the Big Picture, the fullness of Life. We are literally God exploring God’s self in an infinite Dance of Life. Your uniqueness enhances all of Life. 7. His Return to Earth As I began my return to the life cycle, it never crossed my mind, nor was I told during my near-death experience that I would return to the same body. It just did not matter. I had complete trust in the Light and the Life process. As the stream merged with the great Light, I asked never to forget the revelations and the feelings of what I had learned on the other side. There was a “Yes.” It felt like a kiss to my soul. Then I was taken back through the Light into the vibratory realm again. The whole process reversed, with even more information being given to me. I came back home, and I was given lessons from my near-death experience on the mechanics of reincarnation. I was given answers to all those little questions I had: “How does this work? How does that work?” I knew that I would be reincarnated. The earth is a great processor of energy, and individual consciousness evolves out of that into each one of us. I thought of myself as a human for the first time, and I was happy to be that. From what I have seen, I would be happy to be an atom in this universe. An atom. So to be the human part of God … this is the most fantastic blessing. It is a blessing beyond our wildest estimation of what blessing can be. For each and every one of us to be the human part of this experience is awesome, and magnificent. Each and every one of us, no matter where we are, screwed up or not, is a blessing to the planet, right where we are. I went through the reincarnation process expecting to be a baby somewhere. But I was given a lesson on how individual identity and consciousness evolve. I was so surprised when I opened my eyes from my near death experience. I do not know why, because I understood it, but it was still such a surprise to be back in this body, back in my room with someone looking over me crying her eyes out. It was my hospice caretaker. She had given up an hour and a half after finding me dead. My body was stiff and inflexible. She went into the other room. Then I awakened and saw the light outside. I tried to get up to go to it, but I fell out of the bed. She heard a loud “clunk,” ran in and found me on the floor. When I recovered, I was very surprised and yet very awed about what had happened to me during my near death experience. At first all the memory of the trip that I have now was not there. I kept slipping out of this world and kept asking, “Am I alive?” This world seemed more like a dream than that one. Within three days I was feeling normal again, clearer, yet different than I had ever felt in my life. My memory of my near-death experience came back later. I could see nothing wrong with any human being I had ever seen. Before that I was really judgmental. I thought a lot of people were really screwed up, in fact I thought that everybody was screwed up but me. But I got clear on all that. About three months later a friend said I should get tested, so I went and got the scans and so forth. I really felt good, so I was afraid of getting bad news. I remember the doctor at the clinic looking at the before and after scans, saying, “Well, there is nothing here now.” I said, “Really, it must be a miracle.” He said, “No, these things happen; they are called spontaneous remission.” He acted very unimpressed. But here was a miracle, and I was impressed, even if no one else was. 8. The Lessons He Learned The mystery of life has very little to do with intelligence. The universe is not an intellectual process at all. The intellect is helpful; it is brilliant, but right now that is all we process with, instead of our hearts and the wiser part of ourselves. The center of the Earth is this great transmuter of energy, just as you see in pictures of our Earth’s magnetic field. That’s our cycle, pulling reincarnated souls back in and through it again. A sign that you are reaching human level is that you are beginning to evolve an individual consciousness. The animals have a group soul, and they reincarnate in group souls. A deer is pretty much going to be a deer forever. But just being born a human, whether deformed or genius, shows that you are on the path to developing an individual consciousness. That is in itself part of the group consciousness called humanity. I saw that races are personality clusters. Nations like France, Germany and China each have their own personality. Cities have personalities, their local group souls that attract certain people. Families have group souls. Individual identity is evolving like branches of a fractal; the group soul explores in our individuality. The different questions that each of us has are very, very important. This is how Godhead is exploring God’s Self – through you. So ask your questions, do your searching. You will find your Self and you will find God in that Self, because it is only the Self. More than that, I began to see that each one of us humans are soul mates. We are part of the same soul fractaling out in many creative directions, but still the same. Now I look at every human being that I ever see, and I see a soul mate, my soul mate, the one I have always been looking for. Beyond that, the greatest soul mate that you will ever have is yourself. We are each both male and female. We experience this in the womb and we experience this in reincarnation states. If you are looking for that ultimate soul mate outside of yourself, you may never find it; it is not there. Just as God is not “there.” God is here. Don’t look “out there” for God. Look here for God. Look through your Self. Start having the greatest love affair you ever had … with your Self. You will love everything out of that. I had a descent into what you might call hell, and it was very surprising. I did not see Satan or evil. My descent into hell was a descent into each person’s customized human misery, ignorance, and darkness of not-knowing. It seemed like a miserable eternity. But each of the millions of souls around me had a little star of light always available. But no one seemed to pay attention to it. They were so consumed with their own grief, trauma and misery. But, after what seemed an eternity, I started calling out to that light, like a child calling to a parent for help. Then the light opened up and formed a tunnel that came right to me an insulated me from all that fear and pain. That is what hell really is. So what we are doing is learning to hold hands, to come together. The doors of hell are open now. We are going to link up, hold hands, and walk out of hell together. The light came to me and turned into a huge golden angel. I said, “Are you the angel of death?” It expressed to me that it was my oversoul, my Higher Self matrix, a super-ancient part of ourselves. Then I was taken to the light. Soon our science will quantify spirit. Isn’t that going to be wonderful? We are coming up with devices now that are sensitive to subtle energy or spirit energy. Physicists use these atomic colliders to smash atoms to see what they are made of. They have got it down to quarks and charm, and all that. Well, one day they are going to come down to the little thing that holds it all together, and they are going to have to call that … God. With atomic colliders they are not only seeing what is in here, but they are creating particles. Thank God most of them are short-lived milliseconds and nanoseconds. We are just beginning to understand that we are creating too, as we go along. As I saw forever, I came to a realm in which there is a point where we pass all knowledge and begin creating the next fractal, the next level. We have that power to create as we explore. And that is God expanding itself through us. Since my return I have experienced the light spontaneously, and I have learned how to get to that space almost any time in my meditation. Each one of you can do this. You do not have to die to do this. It is within your equipment; you are wired for it already. The body is the most magnificent light being there is. The body is a universe of incredible light. Spirit is not pushing us to dissolve this body. That is not what is happening. Stop trying to become God; God is becoming you. Here. The mind is like a child running around the universe, demanding this and thinking it created the world. But I ask the mind, “What did your mother have to do with this?” That is the next level of spiritual awareness. Oh! My mother! All of a sudden you give up the ego, because you are not the only soul in the universe. 9. What Is the Best Religion? I asked God: “What is the best religion on the planet? Which one is right?” And Godhead said, with great love: “I don’t care.” That was incredible grace. They come and they go, they change. Buddhism has not been here forever, Catholicism has not been here forever, and they are all about to become more enlightened. More light is coming into all systems now. There is going to be a reformation in spirituality that is going to be just as dramatic as the Protestant Reformation. There will be lots of people fighting about it, one religion against the next, believing that only they are right. Everyone thinks they own God, the religions and philosophies, especially the religions, because they form big organizations around their philosophy. When Godhead said, “I don’t care,” I immediately understood that it is for us to care about. It is important, because we are the caring beings. It matters to us and that is where it is important. What you have is the energy equation in spirituality. Ultimate Godhead does not care if you are Protestant, Buddhist, or whatever. It is all a blooming facet of the whole. I wish that all religions would realize it and let each other be. It is not the end of each religion, but we are talking about the same God. Live and let live. Each has a different view. And it all adds up to the Big Picture; it is all important. I went over to the other side during my near-death experience with a lot of fears about toxic waste, nuclear missiles, the population explosion, the rainforest. I came back loving every single problem. I love nuclear waste. I love the mushroom cloud; this is the holiest mandala that we have manifested to date, as an archetype. It, more than any religion or philosophy on earth, brought us together all of a sudden, to a new level of consciousness. Knowing that maybe we can blow up the planet fifty times, or 500 times, we finally realize that maybe we are all here together now. For a period they had to keep setting off more bombs to get it in to us. Then we started saying, “we do not need this any more.” Now we are actally in a safer world than we have ever been in, and it is going to get safer. So I came back from my near-death experience loving toxic waste, because it brought us together. These things are so big. As Peter Russell might say, these problems are now “soul size.” Do we have soul size answers, YES! The clearing of the rain forest will slow down, and in fifty years there will be more trees on the planet than in a long time. If you are into ecology, go for it; you are that part of the system that is becoming aware. Go for it with all your might, but do not be depressed. It is part of a larger thing. Earth is in the process of domesticating itself. It is never again going to be as wild a place as it once was. There will be great wild places, reserves where nature thrives. Gardening and reserves will be the thing in the future. Population increase is getting very close to the optimal range of energy to cause a shift in consciousness. That shift in consciousness will change politics, money, energy. After dying, going through my near-death experience and coming back, I really respect life and death. In our DNA experiments we may have opened the door to a great secret. Soon we will be able to live as long as we want to live in this body. After living 150 years or so, there will be an intuitive soul sense that you will want to change channels. Living forever in one body is not as creative as reincarnation, as transferring energy in this fantastic vortex of energy that we are in. We are actually going to see the wisdom of life and death, and enjoy it. As it is now, we have already been alive forever. This body, that you are in, has been alive forever. It comes from an unending stream of life, going back to the Big Bang and beyond. This body gives life to the next life, in dense and subtle energy. This body has been alive forever already. One of my questions to the light was, “What is heaven?” I was given a tour of all the heavens that have been created: the Nirvanas, the Happy Hunting Grounds, all of them. I went through them. These are thought form creations that we have created. We don’t really go to heaven; we are reprocessed. But whatever we created, we leave a part of ourselves there. It is real, but it is not all of the soul. I saw the Christian heaven. We expect it to be a beautiful place, and you stand in front of the throne, worshiping forever. I tried it. It is boring! This is all we are going to do? It is childlike. I do not mean to offend anyone. Some heavens are very interesting, and some are very boring. I found the ancient ones to be more interesting, like the Native American ones, the Happy Hunting Grounds. The Egyptians have fantastic ones. It goes on and on. There are so many of them. In each of them there is a fractal that is your particular interpretation, unless you are part of the group soul that believes in only the God of a particular religion. Then you are very close, in the same ball park together. But even then, each is a little bit different. That is a part of yourself that you leave there. Death is about life, not about heaven. What happens when we dream? We are multi-dimensional beings. We can access that through lucid dreaming. In fact, this universe is God’s dream. One of the things that I saw is that we humans are a speck on a planet that is a speck in a galaxy that is a speck. Those are giant systems out there, and we are in sort of an average system. But human beings are already legendary throughout the cosmos of consciousness. The little bitty human being of Earth/Gaia is legendary. One of the things that we are legendary for is dreaming. We are legendary dreamers. In fact, the whole cosmos has been looking for the meaning of life, the meaning of it all. And it was the little dreamer who came up with the best answer ever. We dreamed it up. So dreams are important.

Is enlightenment equal to ego death and God realisation? I realised my human form doesn't exist. It's merely a tool for void/nothingness/conciousness/universe/God to experience this dream. Just an illusion like everything else.

The source of creation is not something you have control over even though you are it. You're talking from the perspective of the self mind, which is itself an object inside/owned by it. So the self mind went (mostly) away and recognized void. And now it as the object thinks it can control the subject (void) which it seems its also interpreting as sentient etc (hence thinking it has choices and will). That's impossible, how could nothingness ever be changed or have any property? Absolutely nothing will change about reality after mystical revelation except perhaps your subjective view of it. "You" the self imagining other people etc is a bad way of teaching. The Godhead is imagining other people and things, and experiences it as form through your human mind (object). You call the Godhead consciousness. When perception happens "things" can take on an actuality, so the human mind is allowing form to come into being via finite perception, but it's not the source of anything at all.