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About funkychunkymonkey

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  • Birthday 12/27/1999

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    Lindenhurst NY
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  1. these past two awakenings, i get this desire to simply sleep and rest in peace forever. anyone else feel this way? It was like my checklist for life was complete and there is nothing else to do. just rest happily in peace. of course im not talking about killing myself that wouldent be at all what im saying. its literally like theres nothing else to do I AM complete, whole, everything, everyone, nothing much else to wanna do. of course afterwards my ego came back and i started doing stuff again, and here i am cant wait to go back my reaction is something like this D: .... YEOOOOOOOOO! YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT GETS ME EVERY TIME! HOW DO I KEEP FORGETING THIS?! YEEOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Almost like god is waiting for me with cupcakes and balloons patiently waiting forever for me to find myself again! Im so happy
  2. @cetus lol i saw behind my eyes and realized nothing is there(didnt have an awakening)
  3. I feel more tranquil and somehow more aware of the present moment while im doing something small like studying life coaching. watching the video i got the sudden realization im not watching the video. its just there.. i guess, hard to describe. i wonder what your guys opinions on this is.
  4. i get a sense leo does not approve of zazen im curious why or am i just wrong about that? and if you dont like it leo, why? im just curious
  5. dislike fractures :C LOVE the ability to form connections with people!
  6. @Michael569 damn, that list literally explains why i been feeling how i been feeling usually i can pull a uno reverse card and be okay but a few weeks ago i was so depressed i was genuinely considering just ending it ( good friends and hope saved me) its so true tho, the lack of struggle as a kid def hurt my character development, and maturity for that case. only struggle i had was hiding weed from my over protective parents
  7. from what i hear it seems that the whole introspective vibe is not there with aya its more of a "let it take control", on top of that i can imagine with all the visual it is easy to to get lost in entities, spirits, mother aya. i have no experience but i have heard countless reports of this brew saving people from suicidal depression, addictions (mushrooms saved me from cocaine). If i were to dio my toes in this brew i would do it alone without a shamans guidance (unless i go back to ecuador) Has anyone been able to deconstruct the mind or access states that 5 meo would lead to on aya? would be sick to hear stories. 5 meo is one ill get to once i feel ready (years away) mushrooms i get lost in various thought loops and struggle concentrating on direct experience. meditation... meh states arent what ive seen "percing the veil" with the DMT's help.
  8. seems like i can but im going to GA(USA). hard getting an exact answer online i wonder if any fellow north americans know if 1plsd can cause legal issues if i have it mailed. im a little nervous about 5 meo malt (im not ready to have all my illusions shattered yet i have to admit that, i wanna mature and build my life back up first before i do something like that)
  9. @Judy2 <3 its okay give yourself time i believe in you
  10. @Judy2 i found for myself, accepting my "bad sides" really questioning why i call them that (like my stutter) if u can connect dots see where the trauma came from (if its from trauma) then understanding will almost turn into compassion and you will love and accept yourself (this is what happened to me) i hope this helps
  11. were infjs well back down from the turf war you can take it! @Schizophonia
  12. @Schizophonia blast! you foiled my plans!
  13. @Sidra khan lol try telling me i cant take a day off from work, ill do it anyways