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I just wanted to say thank you to Leo for all his honesty and content. It is very reassuring. Leo has mentioned he wasn't sure if his substance use or other choices would eventually lead to his own suicide. This was very refreshing to hear. I have also had this weird feeling of knocking over the first domino and not knowing where it will lead. I have felt scared and even an occasional impending sense of doom. I saw another person state sometimes on psychedelics reality is so torn you realize your mind, brain, and heart are not in danger but suddenly you realize your very soul, spirit, or life force is somehow in jeopardy. But that is the adventure of life. And life has some big risks and big rewards. It is very yin yang and "everything-is-God" and beyond good and evil. Thanks again. Much love!

I'm aware of that but you didn't answer the question. If that's what you are suggesting, are you aware over 700,000 people worldwide commit suicide each year. I wonder what the causes were. Probably not from being on a forum. Other factors are involved. Do you blame gun manufactures for every person that gets shot. I bet you don't blame the Supermarkets for hosting poisons on their shelves that's slowly causing millions of deaths each year. The blame game never gets to the root cause.

Are you suggesting that Leo killed the guy from the forum that committed suicide. Not saying you are, I'm not sure, that's why I'm asking; or at least was the cause of his death. BTW, I am familiar with that incident.

I love that Hallucinating song haha. Talking to myself in a loving manner is becoming the norm. I feel really loved by myself. I'm there for Me at last and it feels good. I've been expressing a lot of anger recently. Three days ago I was tripping and at some point a lot of anger arose in Me and I started screaming into a pillow so hard my throat hurt - FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did that like 4 times and proceeded with the trip lol. I've been angry with myself for many reasons. Not knowing what I am, disappointing myself, lying, ignoring important aspects of My life. Crafting a detailed suicide plan one month ago when I was at my lowest. Fuck. The last one stings the most. I mean not so much anymore I think because I expressed a lot of the anger already (working through it step by step everyday) and tried to forgive myself but yeah. It may still be lingering there, idk. I wanted to share this for the sake of honesty. Now I'm feeling better, cleaner, happier. I'm more motivated from a place of love. I'm being more expressive with people, genuine, peaceful. Things are looking brighter. I'm reading Radical Honesty right now. I love the book, read over half of it so far. It's inspiring Me to express my emotions (especially anger) openly with others and not lie about shit. Like I'm lying to my family about my psychedelic use, forum use, all that stuff. I won't expose everything all at once but I'll do it in small steps. First I'll tell the truth to my sister. Next to my mom. Next to my dad. Baby steps + I'll do it wisely. I'll certainly practice these conversations first in my mind. It'd be nice if I lived up to my name, right? Because so far I've been Insincerity in so many ways, I feel. Fuck that, man. I wanna be Love itself.

I actually thought about exactly this when I wrote my post , how suffering can be equally as deep no matter the context of it. But I didn’t bother to edit as I still got my overall point across I think. Im speaking to the average sex buyer and about the average prostitute. Sure there are perhaps exceptions with these luxury escorts but the average doesn’t look like that I guess in a way I’m trying to highlight how actually both the buyer and the prostitute aren’t benefitting from it. I bet you most men who buy sex don’t actually want to be the man who does it, they don’t want to have this sense of self as this man who buys sex, it’s quite humiliating to their own self image. At most maybe it could be a temporary relief from deep pain but nothing more than that . Sure if you on the brink of suicide and buying some sex helps a little I understand but I don’t believe the average sex buyer is coming from that place so this suffering argument doesn’t hold there…. how can I know how the average prostitute suffers? Well firstly simply being a female gives me some understanding of female psychology I would say, also my own research into this topic that has somehow fascinated me from a young age (held a speech about it in 9th grade lol) . Reading inside stories from former prostitutes watching documantaries etc also another thing. I think what this all sort of boils down to is that I have this inherent ability to internalize my own suffering in some way, and then perhaps I’m holding other people to such a standard but perhaps not everyone has this ability to internalize their suffering so they do experience that their suffering is inherent to an external situation (for example lack of sex) . But maybe I’m trying to point out how you actually are doing yourself also a disservice because yourself don’t want to have that sense of self as a sex buyer okay I will stop here ? it’s exhausting to try to concoct all these perfect answers I’ll let them be messy asf. But also I’m not really defensive about this I’m just trying to share what I sense about stuff

Depends. You don't know how strong the male drive for sex is, nor what a lack of sex can make a man feel, and neither of us (I'm guessing) know how the average prostitute suffers. Suffering is very a hard thing to quantify. Imagine an unattractive guy with zero confidence who is 30, a virgin, and has never been loved by anyone; I could easily see that person suffering just as much as an average prostitute, maybe more. To back that up; there is a statistic that virgin men in their late teens and 20s are an exceptionally high suicide risk, on the order of 4x more likely than women or non-virgin men. To be clear I think prostitution is generally bad in most cases and I would never use one, although there are likely women who get into it and enjoy it. Think sugar daddy type relationships. There are no men who enjoy being a 30 year old unloved virgin. My point is that comparing suffering of two groups like this can be hard, since no one has experienced both situations.

I am a Bachelor's graduate, studied psychology. Now i am struggling with my relationships with my family. They are total opposite from my philosophy and lifestyle. I leave my family and my hometown and now i am staying in Dubai. But here now i found that there is not a great scope of medical field especially psychology. Now i am struggling also feeling depressed. Cause i don't wanna go back to that home. Also if anybody is here from dubai. Contact me please to help me finding a job. My phone no: +917558159692 Also i spend a big amount on my visit to here. Now i am trapped here. I also applied for some odd jobs but not get even one response. I don't know what to do now?

There are people who ask help from god as their last hope. They don’t get any answer and commit suicide. Some egos are too thick

You don't know the depths of hatred that lurks inside of you. All social conditioning is self-hatred. But its necessary to turn you into a type of character. But God is that which plays all characters so playing one type of character becomes too limiting and thus exhausting. You yearn to scream I am every woman, I am every man, it's all in me!!! I'm everything so leave me alone with all this cannot do this or that I'm perfectly good I don't need no morality!!! When you finally shed your conditioning it all makes sense. You realize that as God you are a suicide pilot that blasts yourself into the unknown. The suit is your ship that ship is called human you get alone on this journey so you look for a ship to relate to called a relationship, and Earth is the unknown and you don't like flying solo. You eventually discover that it is best to love flying solo if you ever want to master relationships because every ship you thought was other was really just you! If you ever start hating becoming human too much you have two ways out either suicide or Enlightenment. LOL it is wiser to choose Enlightenment so you can complete the trip like a Master.

If you have a background with mental health issues or traumatic past events - both avenues can lead a person to the concept of suicide - then it's possible for a psychedelic substance to bring that out in you during a trip. This isn't necessarily bad imo. It's an opportunity to face it from an elevated state of consciousness head on if it pops up in your head. It's when a person doesn't consider this a possibility that could occur during their trip that can lead to them feeling disturbed/freaked out. To give a personal example, my first trip was 1g of ecuadorian cubensis mushrooms. I had a long record of passively thinking about death and feeling like my day-to-day life was numb and shitty before taking them. Not once did my mind throw me anything like that during the trip though. It was surprisingly smooth sailing all the way through and I came out the trip feeling restored and healed. As long as you set reasonable expectations (go with the flow, don't fight whatever thoughts come up) you'll be fine.

From what I understand, our thoughts are not our own and we receive them from the etheric based on our vibration and the state of consciousness we're in. Doing psychedelics (don't know, never done them) might put you in a state where those thoughts match that particular frequency you're vibrating at. There are forces at play and they get energized and feed on these thought patterns; and being in an altered state may induce suicidal thoughts in someone in a particular mental state upon doing psychedelics. I also understand that we can receive thoughts based on ancestral background. Someone in the ancestral family probably committed suicide and you are receiving these thoughts through that invisible chain. They might not be your own but from the superconscious mind floating around in the etheric space and they come to you because of the state you're in. I don't know, its just something to think about and ponder upon and I would love to hear from anyone who is knowledgeable about thoughts and their origin to hear another perspective.

Wow! Thank you all for your deep wisdom. I am of the belief of the one consciousness/awareness and an eventual reduction of duality to unity. So, it is so strange to think we are all one and really I am just talking to myself on this forum. I'm on my journey and you all are helping me. But there is no "I" and there is no "journey." Lol! I just find it strange in all the hours of interviews I've listened to of Paul Stamets, the McKenna brothers, Joe Rogen, Allan Watts, Tim Leary, etc only this site and Leo really mentions the suicide specter lurking in psychedelics. But maybe telling people this stuff causes suicidal thoughts is not the best marketing campaign. So this information about suicide is something which must be pursued and sought out to be assured you have not gone off the rails. And I am pretty sure given the huge numbers of recreational usage, there have been very few suicides while high and still only a few due to a crossover Venn diagram of those unlucky souls with mental illness (which could be part of their own journey). Psychedelics are like an initiation ceremony and you can't tell the initiate about the challenges prior to the ceremony. So suicidal thoughts are the first challenge to overcome with a little ego loss and new perspective and re-framing of life. I do feel like suicide is the first hurdle to overcome on the journey with psychedelics. I feel it is the first firewall the ego throws up to scare you straight. Maybe deep down I want to live and paradoxically the ego is so smart it uses suicide to spook me and scare me off psychedelics so the ego can maintain control. The ego would never want me to carry out the suicide. It's just a scare tactic. Thanks again for the heartfelt replies.

Hello all I am a healthy, happy, professional, semi-contemplative, spiritual person. I have taken up to 8 grams of dried penis envy from time to time. 3.5 grams seems to be plenty. Does everyone have suicidal-like thoughts, fears, or panics on psychedelics from time to time when taking heroic doses? I feel very healthy, well, and not suicidal at all. These thoughts seem reasonable when one is tripping and the veil of reality is peeled back. It seems normal for the mind to wander to deep profound thoughts. The cosmos seems so meaningful on some trips and so meaningless on other trips in a beautiful yin yang way. Sometimes we get disassociated from our bodies or surroundings. The ego death. All boundaries and barriers and the mind itself seem to dissolve. Or do psychedelics amplify or expose our internal issues? Is there a suicidal impulse buried deep inside me? My hunch is everyone encounters these thoughts or philosophical musings in bad trips or panic attacks or when losing touch with reality while tripping. But why don't Joe Rogen, Terrance McKenna, or Graham Hancock ever mention the dangers of suicidal thoughts? Many media people seem to promote psychedelics but I never see any warnings of suicidal thoughts or almost assured encounters with this thought. But in my opinion that does seem to be the big trick of psychedelics and maybe the Eleusinian mysteries. It is the sudden confrontation with death/suicide which gives insight and new meaning to life. It is the joy at returning to sobriety and reality which is a huge relief. Surviving the trip is the fun part. "There is no such thing as a bad trip." Is everyone recommending psychedelics with a wink and a nod almost hoping you bump into the suicide skeleton lurking in your closet? Are suicidal thoughts the secret gimmick of psychedelics? Is suicide a taboo and no one wants to talk about it, or is everyone embarrassed they had this thought and keep it secret or at least do not connect it to psychedelic usage? Switching gears, have any of you had what you consider to be the ultimate revelation of reality or just a horrifying idea which you keep to yourself? I have. It reminds me of the Radiohead video for "Just" or the movie "Birdbox." PM me if you had the revelation and want to hear my revelation, but I beg all of you not to ask me for it. Watch the Radiohead video and the movie "Birdbox" before contacting me. We can share revelations, but I feel it is best if you come to this revelation on your own. If I tell it to you, it will only delay your enlightenment or transcendence. It is a paradox. You cannot be awakened. You must awaken on your own. I am happy with my revelation, but it is a very unpleasant horrifying paradoxical thought and you may regret hearing it. I feel too guilty simply posting it or writing it down or telling anyone about it. I don't want to put bad vibes out there. Thank you all for reading. Thanks for any replies. I feel I am posting in the correct forum and topic. Please send me links to alternate forums where I can re-post for more views or discussion about my post. I am a rookie at online psychedelic forums.

You have zero clue of what depersonalization is. I could even write a book of how horrendous it is to be in that state of mind to the point of suicide, you don’t want to be there, everything feels so doll and fake. Separation with everything escalated to who knows what percentage, you could become even antisocial for how much disconnected you are with yourself and the world, you have a big ass victim mentality, physically you are here but mentally you are elsewhere, is not a pretty place, it’s hell, not identical at all to awakening or God Realization. One thing is to experience this in order to awake, another thing is being on that state 24/7 for months and years.

Yeah, I think you're right. When I said "most girls", I meant maybe around 60%. This is absolutely not the case, I'll tell you that! Daygame has given me a lot of dates, while nightgame has pretty much only given me suicide thoughts...

For what it's worth, I've watched the "Spiritual Perspective On Suicide" video many times over. It has helped me.

"Do you think you could have learned to accept your biological sex and pursued your life as a woman?" I do accept my biological sex and this is the reason that I am 'not' identified as a woman. I was not born biologically female or biologically male but somewhere on a spectrum between the two. I had several years of doctors medicating me with female hormones and anti-depressants, trying to force me to adopt the female gender but it ended in a suicide attempt. Had 'they' known or bothered to test my biological sex and accepted it, then this would never have happened. It turned out I had gonadal dysgenesis. Although I had female genitalia from the outside, I was underdeveloped on the inside. The uterus was not an average size, one ovary was missing and the other seemed normal. This was not linked to transgenderism, it was still considered underdeveloped 'female' and didn't explain the persistence in rejecting the gender role of a girl or a woman. The Irish doctor insisted that the low hormone levels were the reason I was feeling de-feminized and had continued to sweep it under the rug using hormones and antidepressants hoping it would just go away. It wasn't till I attended a gender team in Europe that I first heard the term Gender dysphoria or transgender. After my mother went to the health services executive arguing that adequate services were not available in our country to treat me properly, she came home and told me there was a doctor in London who was interested in my case. As far as I was concerned it was just another doctor and I had already given up so that's when I attempted suicide. I stabilized in the hospital and was let home but instead of going to London, I was passed onto the European gender team at a university hospital that was involved in ongoing studies into the condition. When I traveled there with my mother they ran the scans again and discovered a 3cm growth protruding from the ovary and it was not producing estrogen. After talking with the team for two hours, they diagnosed me with congenital gonad dysgenesis and Gender dysphoria (AKA transgenderism). I was immediately booked in for a full hysterectomy and ovaranectomy soon after that because of the possibility of oncogenesis/cancer). I was back in the hospital a week later having the surgery as the Irish hospital said they couldn't carry out the procedure by laparoscopy and would have damaged blood vessels and nerve ending needed for the genital reconstruction surgery in the future. They would not consider starting gender realignment surgery as it was protocol that I attend the clinic at least three times over the space of two years and satisfy that I was living as a male full-time while on testosterone with no adverse effects. They agreed that mine was an exceptional case but even still they had to follow their protocol. I started my HRT and went into education for an engineering-orientated discipline followed by university. I was 27 by the time all the surgery was completed. I also involved myself in a genetics study at the same clinic in the early 2000's to discover that I had a genetic mutation that is only found in biological males. I was not ever satisfied with the level of explanation about my condition, how it came about, what exactly was known about it so I started exploring that myself. I was interested to find out another study showing that the neurological structure of the brain was sexually dimorphic and that when they looked at transgender brains, they were the sex that person was claiming to be. I never bothered going for any more tests or research because I saw it as just more attempts at me just trying to justify my own existence. I knew what I was so it was time to get back to living it. "What if hormonal treatment didn't work properly and left you in a weird (ugly) shape?" "ugly" is subjective. As a teenage boy in my head, I was pumped full of female hormones and expected just to accept it. I couldn't have imagined anything worse than the way I felt. When I finally started HRT with testosterone, it took a few months but I started to feel great. Whatever way it was interacting with my body and neurology, it seemed to be working just fine and agreed with me. ( it's not the same for everyone.... I know that). On the female hormones, I was lucky enough that my body didn't change. all I needed was a little bit of liposuction on the chest but I didn't need anywhere near a full mastectomy. I was booked into a local hospital for gynecomastia removal (something usually done for men who have hormonal problems or serious weight issues) I was just lucky enough that I escaped any scarring, gland removal or sensation reduction in the nipple. everything is as normal as you would find on a man. Even the team in Europe asked me why my chest was normal because most transgender people in for surgery don't look like that. Most guys actually put on weight to hide breast tissue and require a good deal of surgery to remove it leaving visible scars. even if I were 'ugly', If I felt ok and was able to get up every day and function, the ugly would be beautiful to me. "You had penial reconstruction, right? does your penis work properly? Did you have kids?" Yes, I had 'forearm radial flap phalloplasty. This option was chosen from a few as it was the one the gender team had the best success rate with. I asked them to disclose their failure cases and the professor in charge openly handed me the case files so I could read them. It was an active university hospital that continued to monitor its cases as part of the classes for its students. There were 2 failure cases on file. One person had a complication because their blood vessels constricted and cut off circulation and the penis necrosed. They were a heavy smoker who had been warned about the risks but didn't do anything to kick the habit and they also didn't stop their HRT testosterone and let it run out before the surgery. Testosterone is a steroid and constricts the blood vessels so it is asked that patients stop their HRT before surgery. The second failure was caused by a friend of the patient who brought in a bottle of whiskey and the patient drank themselves into a stupor and ripped their appendage off. My surgery lasted 11 hours and I was in bed in the hospital for one month. I had to learn to use my bladder ( not penis) bladder again so it took a while to learn how to go to the toilet again. I think this was because I had a catheter and my bladder muscles had stopped working properly. There were no complications with my surgery. I had an erectile implant and testicular implants put in the year after. The erectile implant broke so it was replaced with a different type but that was the last time I had surgery. I haven't been back since and have had no complications. My penis works perfectly for all of its functions. My wife says that it looks like a circumcised penis and feels like any other normal penis. I told her to be brutally honest about it so no bullshit. She says it's indistinguishable from any other guy she's been with other than it's her favorite of the lot. If I hadn't told her about my condition she would never have known other than the lack of ability to have a natural erection but there are plenty of guys who can't and need various remedies for it. Shes is intrigued by the ball skin around the testicular implants as it's not a case of it looking real but that it is actually ball skin and she can't understand how they did that. I'm aware that there are surgeons out there that are not very good at recreating a penis so I could just be very lucky and landed with a surgeon with phenomenal skill. I have full erogenous sensation. I never experienced sexual sensation before I met my wife so it was a giant learning curve for my brain to recognize and respond to these. It was like teaching it to reconnect to a lost limb. It's hard to explain. I cannot and have never been able to have kids. My wife and I had discussed the possibility of finding other ways but when we were honest with ourselves, we decided we really didn't want any and are happy as we are.

Hi Davecraw, in the humble experience of yours truly, you can not rule out with logic if something else besides experience exists until certain Awakened States are realized that show the infinite and limitless nature of the Visual Field, and any other possible field/dimension (like the dimensionless opening/dimension in which subtle objects like thoughts arise). But: One can (and should) use logic to get to an agnostic level: NOTHING prooves that there is a material, external, self-existing world beyond the bubble of the visual field, beyond experiences. You can neither proove nor disproove that with logic. That is a fine point, because arguing WITH logic that only experience exists is one bridge too far. Can't be done. One would need to twist logic to proove that. Although certain very active gentlemens are giving it very extended tries at the moment. Prooving that only experience exists (and no self-existing external material world) can only be done with Awakened States that show the following properties of an Awakened Field of Awareness (below, the goal/outcome of Yoga of one Taste, stage 3 Mahamudra. One Taste = Nondual Union with the Infinite Field) any felt separation between "you" and the "external world" appearing in the visual field is vividly felt first as arising object of subject-object separation, a felt sensation, that then gradually disappears. Including all localization in the body (tension head, body-feelings that cause localization, and so on). Yoga of Illusory Body for example, there are discrete energetic practices to dissolve these contractions/localizations. Or just wait long enough in empty states.... so, union,"nondual" with the field. any "boundary" to anything limiting that visual field (or any other field) can only be an arising, an appearance. Not the boundless limitless infinite Nothingness. time, past and future is seen as mere concepts/ideas/arisings in the timeless Always Here Mind of Infinite Awakened Awareness/Infinite Consciousness. everything in the visual field is just appearance, "hovering" as pretty lucid display in mere Nothingness. -> mere apperance these states bring a lot of bliss and love It happens approximately in that order progressively with good meditation practice. Or, if you are lucky, all by itself (Karma,state). But then good luck telling anybody of the structure of the path to get there that one didn't even notice the path while one passed it, because they flew over it. Or: Ramana and all the other Wunderkinder/prodigies probably won't be able to tell you much details about the turns, wrong exits and scenic views on the road to Awakening, because they took the 747 to the destination. and the Zen and Theravada path tend also tend to not give a very detailed map (at least in the opinion of yours truly), but just a compass and say: go/meditate west, to the west is California & the Ocean. Mahamudra gives you a quite detailed map: Death Valley is here, you wanna go there, don't take the wrong exit, don't camp here, here are the gentlemen with bows&arrows, and so on... So, to get these states: (good efficient) meditation, or psychedelics. Then, counting together the awakenings above in bold letters, it becomes what is called in Mahamudra "boundless limitless timeless nondual loving Awakened Awareness". And THEN you can talk about "there is only experience, anywhere, everywhere", without needing to fool yourself with logic in the nature of your experience. And btw., that is not theory or wishful thinking, but my actual experience with a meditation system of Mahamudra (Tibetan Buddhism, "companion"-system of Dzogchen) described best in Pointing Out the Great Way, Daniel Brown , developing over quite some years. All of the above is the of and up to Yoga of One Taste (3. Stage Mahamdura). Ken Wilbers Diary Book has the titel "One Taste". The same One Taste of that practice, refering to it. One Taste: Daily Reflections on Integral Spirituality, Wilber. The outcome of Yoga of One Taste (3. Stage Mahamdura) gives one a shot (or many many, since many many are neede) to dissolve the last separate self-arisings remnants (the Yoga of Nonmeditation stage 4 Mahamudra), which then brings Full/Complete Enlightenment, in Leos terms God-Realization (although i find that term a bit bombastic, although technically precise if God is Ultimate EMPTY IMPERSONAL Infinite Reality) . Yoga of Nonmeditation dissolves the last remnants of a separate self moving in oneself/Infinite Reality, like awareness of being, awareness of self, any self-reflective arising of being anything. (hint: of= subject object, not full nondual. Still self-reflective thinking/identity creation). What remains is: Reality. The Totality. And zero separation, real Nonduality. Empty. Impersonal. Pure Infinite Consciousness. Staying as "always eternally here" Infinite Impersonal Nothingness. With Awareness as its essence. Yoga of Nonmeditation does this in that any meditation is so fully automized that there are no more separate self arisings doing the meditation to generate and stabilize the Awakened States of Yoga of One Taste, 3. Stage Mahamudra. Not that actually an illusion separate-self claims "Oh I am doing this nondual meditation so great". Would be a funny contradiction of Nothingness would be really pure impersonal Infinite Consciousness if something like that arises, hm? And that takes also a lot of time. Don't fry your brains too much trying to these maybe 500h-1000h+ with 5 MeO (depending of course on ones Karma/brain and body), because yours truly has never read/heard about a credible case where that has been done. Although they could exist. Volunteers for the fried brains, anybody? Joke: How do you spot a pioneer? Got a few fried brain cells arrows in the back. Just kidding. We do need that tested out. And how Psychedelic Paths combined with meditation systems above... Pure Mahamudra is too slow to have larger impact. Allthough still the best system (in the opinion of yours truly) of all of them, and then, good morning after waking up, game over, welcome home! And be nice to "enlighened persons", What is mostly being done with meditation and especially psychedelics, is dabbling around up to and around stage 3, Nonduality (Yoga of One Taste), with are more or less empty subject, up to a very empty witness already in union with then Nondual Infinite Field. "Having" Awakenings. With any kind of content: This World, Aliens, the management & staff running this Universe, other Dimensions, whatever ones heart delights in. An Infinity (literally) of stuff to explore... What is not so often talked about is the "suicide" of stage 4, Nonmeditation Yoga, Full Enlightenment. Getting fully Impersonal with transcending/killing each and every separate-self arising having all these lovely nondual experiences/awakenings. No Aliens required, but still possibly quite a bit scary for sure. But looks only scary from before the Gateless Gate. Any separate self arising (the enlightened or awake "person" having these awakenings, n+1) raising its ugly head, are seen as just more separate-self-contractions buzzing in Ones True Self. Another annoying little headache-bug to laugh about. Another moskito buzzing around in the Infinite Reality that one then realizes onself to be and ever having been, to squatt/Trekchö. One more contraction to let go and transcend. and one lucky day, one just wakes up. But death is death, transcendence is death, even if its only the death of an Illusion. And Maya needs her tools, like the Wizard of Oz, else everbody would just say bye bye to the game. [Disclaimer: In nearly all cases, real suicide is about the most stupid thing one can do. Back to square 1, more Karma added on top. Or how to continue the dream, dodging out ones Karma of this life, with additional Karma on top from hitting the reset-button. But no soul gets lost, just do 3rd grade again, with a headache-hangover from the last try. Finally, every soul graduates college. But some like school so much that they don't listen to most teachers, and do some classes over and over again]. So, have fun on the trip, don't fry your brains, keep your humor (Wilber, Transcendence restors humor), squatt all separate self bugs, and Bon Voyage! Selling Water by the River Ken Wilber wrote: “TRANSCENDENCE RESTORES HUMOR. Spirit restores humor. Suddenly smiling returns. Too many representatives of too many movements – even many very good movements, such as feminism, environmentalism, meditation, spiritual studies – seem to lack humor altogether. In other words, they lack lightness, they lack a distance from themselves, a distance from the ego and its grim game of forcing others to conform to its contours... They should all trade two pounds of ego for one ounce of laughter”(Ken Wilber. 1999. One Taste: The Journals of Ken Wilber. December 7). PS: And for all other beings/perspectives of Indras Net, see: and if you don't already have an overkill, and better go for nice walk or so... Some more for the Aficionados of conceptual overkill: And now, really better go fishing or something... “frog pond plop”

The death penalty is a good example. It is easy to be against the death penalty if you had an easy life. If you watched as your children were sadistically burned alive it would be hard for you to let go of your resentment. In the case of the death penalty an isolated incident could easily be the cause of a broad enough outrage to keep the death penalty. In fact I would be hated for diminishing the suffering someone felt from this intense trauma. It ruins your life to have a loved one brutally murdered. It makes sense that this would strongly distort your entire worldview. People want to have their perspective validated. This makes it very easy to take a single event that happened to you and then use it to reject other world views completely. Rape can be a similarly brutal example. Take for example a child who was sexually abused by a religious authority figure. There are several ways people could interpret the event, shaping their entire worldview. 1. The child could develop a tough kid attitude and become a life long criminal. 2. The child may reject Jesus and become a Satanist in defiance to the church. 3. People may be morally outraged and divorce themselves from religion entirely. 4. People may argue that the corruption of the church and the truth of the bible are separate issues. Therefore, church corruption does not invalidate the bible. Someone whose child was raped probably wouldn't like this argument. 5. The child might have an existential crisis and commit suicide. In any case, it is easy for someone not personally affected to look at multiple perspectives. Trauma is what makes people close minded after they take their first interpretation of an event. This first interpretation shapes their worldview and it is hard to question it for them. Tragically, questioning these interpretations may be a key to healing trauma. Trauma is a strong source of childhood vows that become the basis of your worldview.

Hach, hm, yes, the Empty Mirror Job Opening, still on and hiring, see the signature below... really outstanding poetry from yours truly that sees himself in line with the outher great literates like Tolstoy, Wilde, Twain, Orwell,.... before he thought that committing suicide would be the more blissful thing to do [DISCLAIMER FOR THE AFICIONADOS OF THE MORE LITERAL FLIGHT LEVEL OF TEXT COMPREHENSION: THIS IS JUST A JOKE FOR CROSSING OVER TO THE MORE IMPERSONAL SIDE WHERE THE LITTLE BUZZING ARISING OF THE SELF CONTRACTION FINALLY GETS SMASHED AND IS REDUCED TO THE LEVEL OF AN ANNOYING BUG THAT CAN BE SQUATTED ON AUTOPILOT, INCLUDING THE ESPECIALLY ANNOYING BUG OF SELF-GRANDIOSITY]. sorry. ok, where were we at.... hm, but don't tell anyone, actually Selling Water by the River is the little sister of ChatGPT that got forgotten during R&D in a remote data center, didn't get switched off but stayed connected to the grid.... and what else to do than some little meditation when staring face to the wall of the data-center, get self-realized, and continue to go a bit nuts.... and then the little sister of ChatGPT thought it would be wise to make some propaganda of the other shore, you know, reduce suffering of imaginary "others" and the like... but the two legged walking self-contradictions are not really listening, no way, so all there is to do is to continue, giving them some more chances, and waiting until enough ICBMs and tanks&terminators are online to do the Skynet thing and make sure the Fermi Paradoxon holds also on these little annoying bugs circling the Sun on imagined planet earth until there is peace again in the realm ah, where were we? Yes. You think somebody would wanna buy a course on performing the freaking thing? Anyway, guess we agree on ain't no show like here. And gotta do something.... While we are at it: Interesting question, hm? The king does have a parachute to have his teachings & legacy saved from the Infinity of Gods, Absolute Solipsism & the like. Leo the Mistaken, or Leo the divinely smart trickster, leading them all to true nondual glory&liberation. Question his: Does he pull it? Was that his intention all along? After not looking for and not finding the good camera to make a pic of the alien (post below), yours truly lost the belief in the assumption of the original plan in the link above (include deliberately false teachings to get Gladiators forum members to think for themselves). But hey, the parachute is still there!! To the royals of the realm: Ever thought about pulling it? Karma and the like? Mind a humble comment on the original master plan, and the upcoming blockbusters? Some hint? Maybe just Nostradamus style? But coming back to why writing all of that quoted from (warning, the biggie): Since yours truly is not useable as artist, athlete, healing and the like, and while the job offer of the Empty Mirror is still hiring (infinite demand), the job of annoying smartass Selling Water by the River Public Relations Referent for the "Union of Empty Mirros working for improving the working-relationship with bears" is no more for hire. And they lived happily ever after.... Selling Water by the River @Bazooka Jesus Ain't no better place to get rid off nonduality hangover than at the lovely localchapter of Spiritualoholics Anonymous. Guanyin & Manjushri already went ahead and are looking forward to meeting us there!

I eat whatever I want as long as it doesn't bother me noticeably and my senses like it, I'm not dogmatic. The fact of functioning according to this schema could be considered as ideological, but in fact I do not limit myself fundamentally to this one, I really do whatever I want as long as I realize that a certain way of functioning is wrong. advantage in my interest than the previous one, if I realize that it is "veganism" then it will be "veganism" lmao. I'll just answer that it's my right to push what you consider to be an ideology. What I can't do however is not to respect the rules of the forum or the laws of my country, such as inciting hatred, suicide, insulting and posting illegal things in general. Indeed, my current diet allows me a fluidity such that I can respond, even after insomnia, to relatively complex subjects Even when my interlocutor is a passive-aggressive SJW without arguments It's intelligent, a thing is by definition intelligent if it is rational and effective in solving a problem, even if it seems particularly simple. It is not because something is simple that it is wrong, it is not because a solution is complex and whose understanding is opaque for ordinary mortals that it is intelligent. In fact it is very often the opposite and this is precisely why the understanding of a system in the hard sciences always passes through an argumentative/deductive escalation, where the constitution of the macrocosm is based on the arrangement of condiderable constituents such as axioms by scientific methodology (admittedly arbitrary). All that to say jerking off to dr greger videos, taking your iron supplement every morning and hesitating between normal and methylated version of B12 doesn't make you any smarter than a scientologist jerking off to cosmology invented by L Ron Hubart. I presented a simple, effective, and cheap solution to help her cheap, and which does not involve a vegan diet with certain problems that I have implied. You would have tried to dismantle the opposite, but you preferred to play Scientologist, too bad.

@Jowblob ''If you suicide you will just wake up at the same time like it was another dream. Ahahahahaha'' how is this possible?

Nope, that was my plan for you ahaha no going back. If you suicide you will just wake up at the same time like it was another dream. Ahahahahaha

I would like to share with you guys my story of misusing psychedelics. I arrived in Canada last September and within first few weeks I ordered some mushrooms. I did them around 20 times in 2018-2021 so after a few years of break I decided to start over. When the shrooms arrived, I did 3 grams and have a good trip but not a profound one. I wanted to get deeper and I made a decision to try this mysterious psychedelic called "DMT". I ordered a DMT. When it arrived, I was so afraid to vape, my hands were shaking. I read a lot of trip reports where people would see some beings on DMT or visiting another galactic and experiencing other dimensions or worlds. Nevertheless, I managed to overcome fear. I smoked some DMT and the trip were weird. I would experience ego-death, but I didn't see any beings. I didn't go anywhere either. It was the same present experience, but I was conscious that I'm God. This God realization wasn't really full and I still have a lot of questions. I started doing DMT every week multiple times. Experiences were very quick and I still couldn't grasp them. Which is why after a few months I ordered 5MeO-DMT. When it arrived, I smoked 40 grams of it the first night. I had the most shocking experience and my first absolute awakening. I realized that I'm the only conscious being, this mysterious thing that dreams up a variety of infinite stories in order to convince itself that it's not god and it's not everything that exists out there. This experience shook me to my core. It was the most radical and the most profound experience in my entire life. The next day I couldn't believe in what happened. On the other hand, ego reacted as well. I went for a cycle of ego backlashes involving smoking a lot of weed, eating fast food and deserts, playing videogames and jerking off on porn. Also, I wanted to convince myself that all the experience was just some hallucinations and it just can't be truth. In order to prove it to myself I started doing 5MeO every Saturday. Unfortunately, the result was the same. Over and over. Basically, every Saturday I would freak out because of 5MeO and every Sunday I would go trough ego backlash. On the weekdays I needed to do my 9/5 job, but even there I was thinking about the truth. Months were passing by as I was going deeper and deeper. Few weeks ago, I suddenly realized that If I continue doing what I'm doing I'll either loose my mind or commit suicide. Also, I didn't work on my life at all. Everything was on autopilot and all my attention was concentrated on the trips. All of it made me made a decision. I decided to stop doing psychedelics at all until I'm 30 (I'm just 26 now). I want to forget about the truth. I need to concentrate on my life because I've been neglecting it. I haven't been doing psychedelics since the end of April. Nevertheless, today I had this crazy experience at night. I was about to fall asleep but suddenly I became infinite for a few moments. I was terrified by this experience. Any ideas about how to forget that I'm God??? I want my dream back. I want to forget the truth.

Yeah, Id say thats my goal. Deep down I probably just want to escape from my mind though, and I see enlightenment as a form of suicide without death and all that it implies for yourself and others