eos_nyxia

Solid movement goal! I too wish to be a giant cat instead of a fridge.

I think it's considered "minimally processed", no more processed than cheese or bread, really. It and soy milk are traditional East Asian foods. Personally I find it a lot easier to digest than just simple cooked beans, lentils, and a lot of cooked foods (including the ones that are considered super healthy because they're high in many micronutrients, but also are high in oxalates) I relied a lot on hemp hearts when I was doing micronutrient min-maxing, particularly for the mag, zinc, and even iron. pros: also easy to digest. cons: a bit too easy to digest, at times. (In one end and out the other.) solution: pair it with something harder and slower to digest.

Other than supplements, here are some top contenders (though it might not be to your taste). Small fish with the bone in, like sardines (shown below) or even canned salmon (with the bone): Black sesame seeds. Grind or crush it or else you're wasting your time. You can blend it into a milk (or milk alternative) and it's pretty good! Or alternatively, you can make a spread from grinding it in a coffee grinder and adding a bit of sweetener of whatever kind, a splash of vanilla extract (optional), and a bit of oil or water to get the paste to the right consistency. IMO these are the easiest and tastiest ways to eat it. In East Asian culture we use this in our regular food, especially sweets and sweet drinks. To me it just tastes good, healthy or not, but I'm not sure if non-Asian people like it. Black sesame is also an important food in TCM and Ayurvedic medicine, for whatever it's worth. Another possible option: blackstrap molasses -- it might taste a bit strong if you're not used to it, and also I haven't personally figured out a way to use it consistently in actual food and not something you down by itself. Still it's always a combination of foods and even then it can be hard to meet the DRV without supplementation. If you have specific calorie and macro requirements to meet though (e.g. high protein with a limited number of calories), this is where I think it actually starts to get impossible. Keep in mind RDV is just a guideline anyway, it never accounts for the absorbability of specific foods and food groups.

Body builders... and a lot more than that... (though I would almost never take health advice from them, especially since health is not so often their concern anyway) RIP my stomach. I actually think 750g sounds very doable in comparison. Can and should I do that though? No, it's still too much dairy and straight up would not agree with me. Greens that are supposedly low in oxalate but high in calcium: kale, bok choy, turnip greens, mustard greens, etc. pros: much higher calcium absorption (like 40-50% vs. about 5%) cons: might be bitter and not tasty, speaking as someone who was forced to eat lots of green leafy vegetables growing up lol.

Oof. I wanted to see the best in him, I guess. Not a fan of people who cut corners and freely claim authority though.

There's a lot of options too if you don't prefer to go to a gym or can't! (Time, energy, and money is an issue for a lot of people.) I myself could go to the gym, but I don't prefer to be watched or interact with people and would rather keep that energy to myself. For me, the gym is not a social place. Plus, I could just stay at home and work out, and not think twice about throwing on some ugly clothes and making ugly faces under high exertion. Outside the house, I mostly only swim and do certain calisthenics/ classical gymnastics conditioning that I can't do at home (mostly in a public park/ school yard), and occasionally lately I go for a run even though I HATED it growing up. I swim seriously though. At home: I do a lot of yoga, and these days I also cross train classical gymnastics conditioning (which replaced what mat pilates used to do, because it does all that and much more) and classical ballet barre. I find it especially important to address areas that are weak and tight (sometimes both), especially as a hypermobile person. Like many girls, I did some of both growing up, so it's not exactly new to me. For heavy resistance training, I mainly focus on heavy kettlebells, I also use very heavy resistance bands, (and have the equipment that goes with it). These days I'm not using barbells and dumbbells as much. Lately I also do a lot of steel club-style training, and I finally just started heavy steel mace. It's so much fun! I used to do traditional Chinese martial arts as a teenager and I've always been a heavy weapons kind of girl. (I'm yearning to return to a martial arts studio though. Maybe next year or the year after, ideally.) Mostly I train for power, power endurance, and specific skills. Most of my equipment doesn't take up that much space other the very basic bench and power rack situation and the deadlift bar. Other non-gym options which are relatively space and cost efficient: various calisthenics/ gymnastics equipment (pull up bar, gymnastics rings, dip bar, those cheapo sliders you can get for like 10 bucks), suspension trainer, jump rope (a staple in the kickboxing/ boxing community). You can get those mini stair steppers or walking pads if you just want to increase your step count and don't want to step outside. Or if you want to step outside and try something different, put some weights in a backpack and go rucking (just make sure that the weight isn't awkwardly distributed at the bottom of the bag and it's helpful to have the supportive strap around the chest/ upper core, which is especially important the more time you wear the backpack and the more weight you put in it). Honestly you can probably get away with using a non-rucking backpack for up to 30 or 40 pounds as long as it is made with robust enough fabric. If you want machines or to barbell squat or bench a lot of weight, then yea, you will probably have to go to a gym that has a power cage and whatever other than equipment you need if you can't build a proper garage gym. But then you'd need to go to a proper gym (usually a specialist one). A lot of public gyms don't actually have that equipment anyway. Like, both of the community gyms near me have a smith machine but not a power rack.

Thoughts in no particular order: I think that if you are using polyamory to justify an avoidant attachment style, you need to be honest with yourself and work on that. Save yourself and everyone else the grief. (I very much so direct this philosophy toward myself first before anyone else. I wouldn't have described this as spiritual bypassing, just ordinary old emotional bypassing.) I used to consider myself to be polyamorous by orientation, but monogamous by choice. In the same way that I think of myself as pansexual by orientation, but I'm in a heterosexual marriage. Now I think of myself as a bit more fluid and omnivorous sexually, but I still separate orientation/ base inclinations from chosen expression. And as I get older, the more I think just because you CAN doesn't mean that you should. I chose not to for various reasons. So I'll admit that my perspective comes from repeated attempts at sharp observation from the outside, but not experience. Take it for what it is worth, but I at least know myself pretty damn well. My energy and especially my time is very limited, and ultimately I want to make the most of this life. Perhaps this is a false, overly simplistic dichotomy, but most often it is important to pick single focus for your life, or to have a specific vision of it. Realistically, my life has never centered around multiple people. I would have to shift my whole personality at this point, and I don't suspect it is worth it. I like to work on myself, I need a certain amount of alone time, and I have certain goals which take up a huge amount of energy and time. Freely flowing sexual energy can give you more energy to express and create in other ways (as opposed to be dammed up), but then that energy needs to keep going back into the relationships if you actually care about anyone that you are with. It's important to ask yourself: how am I realistically going to keep multiple people satisfied in an intimate way sustainably? There is far too much centering around sex alone and not enough focus on emotional and psychological sustainability, especially with people who like the idea of polyamory but have little or no real experience. In general, I've never liked people conflating polyamory with the desire to fuck many people, or having the emotional aspect as some kind of flavour enhancer on the side. Just call it what it is... My honest feeling is that men (I guess cishet men especially) almost never have what it takes to emotionally and sexually to satisfy multiple women in reality with any consistency. Assuming that they actually even satisfy one. That they are deluding themselves about this because they like the thought of keeping multiple women on the hook indefinitely. If you are centered on the fantasy first and foremost (which I do get on a personal level), almost definitely you don't have what it takes to deal with the reality of it and not make a mess of things. I think the idea of a "soft harem" is stupid (I believe this term came from PUA/ manosphere spaces originally). It's not a harem if the women you're seeing are also seeing other men or are free to do so, and I'd also argue that it's not a harem if the women you are seeing aren't aware that there are other women. Obviously the latter is not ethical, and the phrase reeks of wanting to cosplay as a medieval king with your multiple mistresses or an ottoman sultan but somehow this is supposed to make sense in a modern capitalistic society? (Personally I don't get why would you want to feel like the latter when your goal is to feel like women actually WANT you, rather than being sold by their families and basically being enslaved and isolated from the outside world. But I get it, it is a fantasy and I am crapping on it haha.) As a woman who is flexible when it comes to gender attraction, I would be super cautious around cishet men who are overly interested in bringing in another woman, even in a purely voyeuristic sort of way. I'm 37 and this is probably a byproduct of having grown up in the 00s and 10s where lesbianism and bisexuality in women was often treated like something you do for men, like something not serious and real, and also a performance that you put on for men. I've never been much interested in MFF+ though. On a purely selfish level, I do not personally get the appeal. I've heard this perspective expressed in the past which I still think about sometimes: that men who are naturally the best fit for the one man + two or more women as are actually very feminine in nature. When I think about it, makes sense that you have to be fundamentally interested in women, "women things", and women's emotions. If you are not and your primary interest is being masculine and not overly identifying with femininity, then it's probably going to drive you insane in reality lol. Because you're going to be around them a lot. One way or another, there is going to be "exponential drama" which is just what happens when you involve more people, "developed" or not. Likewise, if you are a polyandrous woman in a one woman + 2 or men situation, it makes sense that you must fundamentally be interested in masculine perspectives (or even just "male" since they don't have to be masculine men either), interests, and sexual and emotional expression. (Or alternatively, have asexual or partners with limited interest in sexual expression.) Otherwise, you're around men a lot, and why do you want more men if you don't fundamentally appreciate or are really attracted toward them? To add to the previous point, if you are an polyandrous woman, I think it is ethical to live in service to the men in your life you are intimate with/ the masculine. Or if you are polygynous man, you ought to live in service to the women/the feminine in your life. Perhaps this ought to be your primary focus. This means that it is not fundamentally about getting off and getting yours first and foremost, though you do need the authentic desire.

What are your actual chances of finding what you want? I assume what you're interested in is: conventionally attractive (which means that they have options and are probably aware of it) not extremely socially stunted or traumatized (too inconvenient/ not worth the effort. FYI: there is plenty of time to accumulate sexual trauma growing up as a girl in this world, through no direct choice of her own either.) sexually expressive, open, at peace with their desire, potentially willing to explore sexually. Someone who isn't asexual, or who can take it or leave it, or who is very restrained in their sexual expression. Your options increase if you grew up in a sexually tightlaced culture or pick someone who is from that type of culture. Either they live there so the repercussions against being "inappropriately sexual" are too severe or they believe in it so deeply they hold onto celibacy or sexually restrained ideals even after they leave their mother country. Actually, unless they are very, very closely watched by their relatives, elders, and peers (almost always this is extreme religious fundamentalism), this tends to just make better liars and people who are good at justifying "loopholes" (like >insert sexual activity" isn't real sex). This is... still baggage. So this means that you're looking for someone who either deliberately chose very limited engagement with the opposite sex or had only been in very long term relationships. Ask yourself, why they made this choice? What motivates them when there is little extrinsic motivation to restrain themselves? And why would they choose you? If marriage and family is their goal: you're not helping their body count if you're not the one they're getting married to, are you? Either you're getting someone who keeps making errors of judgement with men, unless they are very young and very naive (which you mentioned that you prefer). In that case, are you leaving them better than you found them? Do you not feel responsible for them in that way, for perpetuating the same issue you criticize in these women? Do you have an apocalyptic attitude toward all of this? Like fuck it, this culture is rotten, I might as well get mine? You know that if a woman wants to settle down and find her "person" and you take someone very inexperienced and naive, that you are leaving a negative impact on them for the rest of their life? In the worst possible outcomes, you are breaking them? TBH I consider this to be emotionally parasitical and predatory behaviour. By the way, there is this notion that women who have options and who have restricted themselves by choice, that they want super experienced and slutty men. Like it is preferred. Often it is not. Often their standards are lowered for whatever reason. If you honestly believe this, ask yourself where you got this information from.

Well, as a woman, those women are losers. They either got duped by his Tony Stark image before he was openly inserting himself into politics (like Grimes likely did) or they're there for the financially stable arrangement. Except it didn't work out for Ashley St. Clair, so she's a double loser in that game. The feeling I would have as a woman if I had a child with someone who opens his mouth, saying what he does. That is like... something you can't scrub off yourself. You're stuck with your decision forever, and so are your children. It has a similar sort of effect as being told that "winning" as a woman is being considered SO ATTRACTIVE that you can make a ton of money off your looks (for example, being a conventionally attractive model), but you're not allowed to eat or just live life. What is the point of being rich and then starving yourself... for what higher and worthwhile values, exactly? (If you're going to say other stuff, that's fair. Unfortunately, bodies and especially brains tend to be expensive things that require nutrients, so you'll probably just end up with less energy and Will in general, and also likely a permanently damaged body.)

I'm know I'm not his intended target audience, but unless something immediately grabs me about a particular online personality, why am I supposed to care about Destiny's or anyone else's political opinions? Please explain the appeal someone lol.

I'm subbed to that channel and became an adult swimmer myself! The learning curve to becoming even a decent swimmer as an adult is pretty high though. It's much more skill-based to get to that point, and you need patience (time), consistency of practice, to develop better body awareness, and the willingness to unlearn a bunch of movement habits perpetually, no matter how advanced you get. The water is very humbling when it comes to people trying to brute force it.

Often there is a large gap between what one consciously wants and looks for and what one is willing to tolerate. With men too and what they're willing to tolerate in women (or feel that they have no choice to tolerate). Women tend to be less of a physical threat, but you still see plenty of men with abusive and narcissistic women as well. If your "subconscious" is primed to look for an abusive or narcissistic man because it's all you're capable of finding, because deep down that is what you believe is Real and also probably what you deserve, then you will be constantly self-sabotaging until you take a hard look at yourself. It's a many years long project with yourself, therapy, various healing modalities, etc. Usually the only way people get to that point is because something seriously failed and they hit a rock bottom of sorts. (This is a human motivation issue, not a gender specific issue.) It is unreasonable and unrealistic to expect very young women or girls (or very young people in general) to pop into the world fully formed and able to discern without that experience (usually negative life experience) or positive relationship role models/ mentors to make excellent decisions and no serious mistakes.

My first ex who I dated when I was 15 for a handful of years had a lot of narcissistic qualities, but then, I wasn't a "nice girl" at that point either. Why would I have wanted a "nice guy" when I knew deep down that I wasn't "nice" myself either? Also, beyond physical attraction, we need to have other things in common? I put up with a lot, but if he had actually been a consistently kind, genuine, compassionate, and sensitive person (and not a profoundly self-absorbed one), then it would have been much, much harder to inevitably leave him, and I would have had more conscience about the way I treated him the more time went on. (Like if he went into a narcissistic-type of rage-fueled meltdown, if he was a "better" person, I wouldn't have been able to laugh in his face about his behaviour and STILL feel like a decent person.) So probably not quite dynamic OP was originally referring to. My eyes were open. I wasn't exactly fooling myself. Also,the pairing of covert with overt (or classical) narcissists is very much a thing. How common it is exactly, I do not know. But I suspect that women tend to fall more into the covert narcissist category largely because of social conditioning and acceptability -- we really do have a spot in our cultures for overtly narcissistic men, don't we? With women, not so much (especially if you are not considered very attractive and charming as a woman). Secretly, covert narcissists often get to feel superior to the overt narcissist, while the covert narcissist gets to be the kinder, more moral, more responsible one. Or the victim or martyr. They get to look better to others and themselves. I see this dynamic a little bit in myself in retrospect: my ex got to be dumb one and I got to be the smart one. And I felt like I was the more responsible and moral one until I decided that if the relationship originally had something positive to it, it didn't anymore (which it did, again, usually there is a hook which attracts and keeps people in relationships). At that point, I didn't care about how I was seen by others or him at that point anymore, I was going to burn my bridges, and the fastest way to do that is with someone who has narcissistic tendencies to get them to release their death grip on you is to burn their fingers consistently and enough times to make it clear to them that you are NOT a food source anymore, lol. You have to want to look at what's underneath the hood, not just at the superficial dynamics.

No one went into the very obvious trauma and female social indoctrination conditioning growing up? For what it's worth, manipulative people don't usually show all of their hand at first before a person is hooked, unless they are very confident in their ability to pull it off and/or are stupid. Women/ girls often have their guard up the most up at the beginning, because "strangers", and things often fall apart once that guard is down. If you are deeply conditioned since early childhood to accept certain things from males in your life, you will miss a lot of signs that might otherwise be clear as day. It's like a preconditioned blindness or selective seeing. This means in order to not fail at getting duped by a guy who hides his nature, you need to have the foresight to anticipate that a person is no good for you, which is often a combination of gut intuition (which we're often conditioned to ignore as girls) and knowing exactly what tells to look for before the situation escalates and gets out of control (abuse, trafficking, etc.). You need to have a clear enough sense of self, a decent understanding of people's motives, and the strength to trust in yourself even if others tell you there is nothing to worry about. You also need to feel like your well being fundamentally matters. By the way, a woman can appear confident or like she has so much social power and many different options without having any of these traits I just mentioned. Many girls start dating when they are pretty damn young, like even in their early teens. Most people learn by getting burnt first, and then trying to learn from those experiences. From observing from the outside: by the time many women figure it out, there is a lot of bitterness and accumulated baggage. Many are done with men by that point. This is especially true right now with the women who are opting out. And by "foresight", it's often straight up hypervigilance. In my experience, do you know who is the best at predicting who is going to be a user before they get used? People who got used and abused by people growing up, especially by their own parents and caregivers. I'm that way, My husband is that way. Both of us were pretty good at avoiding getting screwed by people when we were young. There's often a terrible cost for that level of clarity and discernment when it comes to sussing. Do you want to live watching your back all the time because people always want something from you and they might be willing to destroy you in the process as long as they get what they want? It's not very fun. You can't desperately want to want to believe in people, for instance, because that is a blindness, which then turns into a liability.

HAPPY HAND WASHING BEHAVIOUR: Yesterday, I woke up and felt a deep sense of peace to have finally written the words above and fully meant it. Today, I feel equally at peace. I've also felt surprisingly excited and optimistic at the possibility of the total absence of such of thing in my life, to never be bothered or to concern myself with these type of questions again -- what would be done for me in my time of need? Who would be there for me? What would be done in my relative absence? What do people do when I hold back? How do they live their lives, what do they value, and what choices do they make for themselves? What things do people correctly attribute to you and which things are false or at least highly twisted? What are these people hiding about themselves that they expect you... or someone... to see? To fix or heal? The same type of concerns have been circulating its influence since early childhood near incessantly, though at first I knew the feeling without having the ability to put it into words. And even when I never thought about it consciously, the imprint was marked so deeply on me that it affected everything I did and who I was to become. The choices I actually got to make as well as the large variety of things I had absolutely no control over, the situation I was born into. And all the things where accountability and responsibility has been shunted onto me and I simply expect it to take it and EAT IT (so that I might have the immense and high privilege of transmuting people's undigested psychological rubbish across time and space lol), when all I ever needed was to remain fully dedicated to serving ""The Highest Good"" as fully as I possible can, without pretense. And this looks however it looks, I need not concern myself with how I'm perceived or what people take from it. I need not continue to latently concern myself with all this heaviness than I have worn my whole life like a mantle, but instead I do need to be strong again, to be a person willing to wholly live this life and make the best of it without overly concerning myself with what people will or won't do, as if I am waiting for them still. The lingering self consciousness and the shame and embarrassment where the rage has quieted. I am not waiting to meet anyone as if life will start, and I wish I had stopped fixating on this at least 5-7 years ago, once it was obvious that my "test" or "leap of faith" was a failure. But it is what it is. Everything always takes far too long to get rid of all traces of so it's not negatively impacting my psyche in some way that is seriously holding me back. When I was in 25-30, I was able to figure out that the minimum amount of time to make a major psychological change, not at the level of habit, but on the level of deeper emotionality/ the worldly presentation of the "soul", about 3 years. Absolutely never less than 2. This took 7 years. SEVEN FUCKING YEARS of my life. I took the wager with myself, I somehow survived that bet (it was not at all a given to me that I would), and ultimately it only really hit me the worst, it seems. The inhuman amount of rage at watching people live their best life while I sunk, with the original pretense and belief that I mattered and that I was needed. Bitterness. The sort of thing that poisons you first and most deeply, and often no one else, or else those who are closest to you that actually WILL be there for you. From my perspective: I paid off my debt fully; it's over, like it would be inevitably. The question has been answered, and the book has been shut. It was always waiting for me to shut it, and I've had to be the one to make that decision. To be able to put that final brick in place. And there is no way with how much continuous effort and time its taken these past years, as with every major decision I have to reinforce within myself which runs directly against the emotional grain, that I would ever consider changing my mind. Again, who will pay for my future years? The law of balanced exchange still applies even if one person has agreed, in their soul, to take on a lion's share of the work/ sacrifice. My blood and time and energy? No one. Not worth it. Extremely poor risk-to-reward ratio. After all, I have to look after myself and look out for myself like everyone first before I can be operational to serve ""The Highest Good"", or whatever form this life's version of it will take, whatever it is that I both desire and can feasibly sustain. As they all have. I'm not much good if I'm dead or incapacitated am I? And if I have nothing left that I would willingly offer, then I'm completely off the hook in terms of what I do with my conscious energy, who I spend time with, and if I chose in the future to be completely absence and out of reach for an indefinite period of time (which means the rest of this life). This has at times been something that has been hard to wrap my head around, but it's my issue to make it work. No one else's problem, and I guess it never was. Anyway, every time I have felt that sense of definitive calm no one and nothing has ever been able to get in my way or to stop me. It is very literal when I say nothing will stop me. So of course I feel at peace. I have finally received the rest of my power that I had given away. I lack a lot of the social skills and have many hard edges as a result of the life I have lived, particularly the things which I have had no conscious input into or choice about, about the years of enforced isolation and the things I was kept in the dark about -- what you would call "soul contract" stuff. I could have learned (at least I told myself this, as I both believed and would have been willing to put in whatever time and energy that was necessary), but I could not make things line up and they did not. I tried my best; so I am at peace. I rescind my own judgement onto myself for the things I actually did consciously choose that failed, my own anger and piss poor attitudes at times (from my perspective), despite my own lack of knowledge of certain things (or else there would have been nothing to test for near absolute certainty). I still think that we all collectively chose the HARDER OPTION and it does link into how I was treated and received. Take whatever you want from that. But you if you picked THE WORLD AS IT IS and the values it holds and expect me to hocus pocus things for you or do things through THE POWER OF LOVE AND SELF SACRIFICE, well, that's your business now. Was I ever actually loved by anyone other than my husband? Honestly I do not give a fuck anymore.