thierry

@Michael569 @integral guys thanks again.. I have all the vitamins methylated. I can feel my body is no more degrading and poisoning itself eventhough it reached a very damaged point which makes me depressed. I’ll check my homocysteine level tomorrow but I’m pretty sure it is now safe. crazy how you guys help me more than 12 years of doctors when I was actually paying for these doctors to tell me basically that it was all in my head. Anyway sorry but I mean I certainly now have mental issues eventhough the root cause was not psychiatric and anger problems towards traditional medicine. All I want to highlight is the importance of contemplating and taking responsibility for your health daily, do blood check up as much as you can. As they say it is better to prevent than to try to repair a broken car and a lot of health accident can in reality be so easily avoided.

@integral Thanks a lot for all this. This is really appreciated. @Michael569 thanks yes I already did some research on this. Basically I just had to supplement myself with vitamin B6 B9 B12 and betain. That’s so dumb to think I reached this unhealthy whole that could have been avoided so easily..

Initially it was even worse cause it liberated all the accumulated toxines. I vomited every night in horror panick. now I can feel a little more clarity of mind. one week ago I really felt I had 40IQ I could not even listen to someone, I had to focus and take the time to integrate what was said. you guys should appreciate the genius there is just in listening reactively to someone talking to you. So I’m improving there but I have a lot of other issues which I think are not reversible. Lots of cellules degenerated. I can’t feel my hands the same way I used to.

Also my parents still denies my illness saying I’m making things up, it is in my head and I should take my psych med which are just even worsening me. They will only recognize it when I will have full proven dementia. Eventhough I took my tension this morning it was at 8 my mother told me it is because you do not do anything, move yourself.

Also the worst part of it is that I have a very loving family that I love and they all suffer with me and do not want to see me death. That’s how stuck I am.

First, thank you guys for the support this past year. Unfortunately, my health has worsened even more. Writing this post is difficult for me as I’m now dealing with neurological damages, dementia and probably intellectual deficiency but I will take my time. I now know what was the issue with my health during all this years: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperhomocysteinemia doctors in France are completely unaware of this illness. I have been gaslighted with doctors my all life. Went into psych ward.. have been given meds that worsened my condition.. my homocysteine level is 31. Ideally it should be 7. this is caused by a rare gene mutation. I searched for doctors since I am 15. I am 28 now. When I was 19 a doctor found that and told me it was not a big deal. He gave me vitamine B I felt so much better as it made my homocysteine lvl at 12. Then I stoped taking my vitamine cause the doc did not give me any warning and I thought it was fixed and especially not very important. How foolish I am you might be thinking. Well I agree but from my pov you have to understand I was searching for my health issues every where and had been wrong many times.. so I was not sure of anything. anyway after I lost myself again and ended up in psych ward I even forgot about this homocysteine story and my health kept degrading since. I feel the need to put that out there. You should all check your homocysteine lvl. Above 10 is already too much and it will damage your body. I let you do your research. I will not detail all I suffer from now but I’m in a Hellish place waiting for death to come. Please do not try to show empathy or to motivate me with life. I’m not depressed, I do not need it. I’m just realistic. Now I need to express myself as if I’m talking to a psy(it won’t be that interesting): I do not understand why I had to imagine such a Hellish dream as this life. You might say, hey take your responsibility, be responsible for your shits. Okay and yes I recently saw Leo’s video on responsibility. And I tried to tell myself that’s my fait but really. I suffered since I was a kid. I started searching for doctors to help me and have been gaslight by them since 14-15yo I also had to graduate and live and try to socialize while I constantly was being poisoned by my own body. My parents always told me I was making things up and that they trusted more the doctors than me. They always called me lazy while in my reality I was fighting and struggling like the most courageous soul on the universe just to try to survive. I thought about my responsibility and honestly I tried my best. Of course I have regrets but my case was so complicated, I just can’t say it was all my responsibility. Maybe I could have found a way but it is not the case. the only lesson I retain from this life is that sometimes God incarnates in Hell and that’s it. This Idea that « if you give your best you can’t possibly fail » is bs sometimes you give the best you walk like a beast through hell only to end up in hell. Now my body is completely dysfunctional. I can not sleep wake up in horror panick full insanity where my own concisousnees feels like burning flames with no ground. The « with no ground » is the really terrifying part cause I do not even know where I am. Just pure conciousness suffering and I feel so insane I do not even know who I am and where I am at and as I do not even Feel as this body so it feels like I have 0 control on it and it can go anywhere. Some say no ego no suffering, that is such bs. I can tell you guys for a fact that I wake up with no ego and enormous suffering, I do not even have memory of who I am, that’s how fucked up my brain is. Anyway thanks for reading. (Also yes I should have never done psychedelics, knowing what I know now but the neuro regeneration research made me try it..)

Thanks

I would like to open a thread about healing. I think it could be interesting and give people some hope, especially if some of you went from a situation where they felt stuck and hopeless to a more hopeful one. If you went though any kind of Healing. Can you please sum up your story. What were you suffering from, what was your healing about? What do you think participate in healing yourself ? What happened ? It can be any kind of healing, psychological, physical or even spiritual. You just have to go from dysfunctional to functional in any area you want. just try to be the most concrete possible.

I think you are right about how it works but I do not think it is healthy to play that game. To me sounds that @KenDo is already spending too much energy on a girl that clearly is not invested. I’m sorry but my masculine solidarity goes with @Yimpa on that one. « Just don’t » Invest on people that invests along with you. Do not get scam. You have inner value regardless of an other.

If you love practicing sports or you are some kind of Athlete. Going to the gym can prevent injuries.

Live honorably and don’t give a fuck what people think. Reputation will follow.

I'm really sorry to hear your story and I can feel your pain. You need to give a shot to time healing you. Try to stay as calm as possible and remind yourself that all you are going through is just an illusion of the mind and it shall pass. I would also urge you to NOT do psychedelics right now, that is a terrible idea. You need healing and grounding right now. Psychedelics will make things worst and you'll feel even more lost than you are now if you do psychedelics.

How can they ruin your physical health? In what ways does it ruin physical health? I'm genuinely curious. What kind of usage will lead to physical damage and what kind of usage won't? Will 1trip a month lead to physical health damage? In the end it seems to me that psychedelics are really dangerous especially if they can lead to chronic health damage.

Thanks for all the lovely messages, I read them all, just came back from an intense trip on lsd, I feel good.

Lol committing suicide for economic reason is retarded. commiting suicide for broken mind and health is exquisite